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329 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1916
I had seen Sandip Badu鈥檚 photograph before. There was something in his features which I did not quite like. Not that he was bad-looking鈥攆ar from it鈥� he had a splendidly handsome face. Yet, I know not why, it seemed to me, in spite of all its brilliance, that too much of base alloy had gone into its making. The light in his eyes somehow did not shine true. That was why I did not like it when my husband unquestioningly gave in to all his demands. I could bear the waste of money; but it vexed me to think that he was imposing on my husband, taking advantage of friendship. His bearing was not that of an ascetic, nor even of a person of moderate means but foppish all over. Love of comfort seemed to鈥ny number of such reflections come back to me today, but let them be.
It is only too clear how she wants me, and so I look on her as quite legitimately mine. The fruit hangs on the branch by the stem, but that is no reason why the claim of the stem should be eternal. Ripe fruit cannot for ever swear by its slackening stem-hold. All its sweetness has been accumulated for me; to surrender itself to my hand is the reason of its existence, its very nature, its true morality. So I must pluck it, for it becomes me to make it futile.
"I am willing to serve my country, but my worship I reserve for Right which is far greater than my country. To worship my country as a god is to bring a curse upon it.鈥�
"To tyrannize for the country is to tyrannize over the country鈥�
鈥渢hat which is eternal within the moment only becomes shallow if spread out in time.鈥�
鈥淏ut when physical appearance evades the scrutiny of our senses and enters the sanctuary of our hearts, then it can forget itself. I know, from my childhood's experience, how devotion is beauty itself, in its inner aspect.鈥�
鈥淧urity, they imagined, was only becoming in those on whom fortune had not smiled. It is the moon which has room or stains, not the stars."
"What I really feel is this, that those who cannot find food for their enthusiasm in a knowledge of their country as it actually is, or those who cannot love men because they are men, 鈥� whose needs must shout and deify their country in order to keep up their excitement, 鈥� those love excitement more than their country.
To try to give our infatuation a higher place than Truth is a sign of inherent slavishness. Where our minds are free we find ourselves lost. Our moribund vitality must have for its rider either some fantasy, or someone in authority, or a sanction from the pundits, in order to make it move. So long as we are impervious to truth and have to be moved by some hypnotic stimulus, we must know that we lack the capacity for self- government. Whatever may be our condition, we shall either need some imaginary ghost or some actual medicine-man to terrorize over us."
The bloom has gone from the face of the sky. What has happened? I longed to see Bimala blossoming fully in all her truth & power. I had hoped to free Bimala in the outer world from her infatuation with tyranny. To give our marriage a higher place than truth is a sign of inherent slavishness.In response to being called indifferent to the fate of India, Nikhil declares:
I must not lose my faith: I shall wait. The passage from the narrow to the larger world is stormy. When she is familiar with this freedom, then I shall know what my place is. If I find that I no longer fit in, I shall not quarrel with my fate but silently take my leave. Use force? For what? Can force prevail against Truth?
I am willing to serve my country but I reserve for Right that which is far greater than my country. To worship my country as a god is to bring a curse upon it.