What do you think?
Rate this book
By Jim Fay - Love and Logic Magic: When Kids Leave You Speechless
For years, parents have asked Jim Fay and Dr Charles Fay for specific words they can use when kids leave them speechless. The book is finally here! Twenty-three chapters include parent-child dialogues and plenty of information about how to handle the most frustrating things kids say.
- GenresParentingNonfiction
Paperback
First published January 1, 2000
15 people are currently reading
329 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
April 15, 2020
This is one of those books that you never read cover to cover. It is a book that is intended to be read in chunks, allowing you to have the tools you need for loving, compassionate parenting when you need them. If you are new to Love and Logic principals, I highly recommend you give them a look. Love and Logic has changed the way we parent, and even though we still do it wrong (a lot) we know better, so we do better.
March 2, 2018
Great support for the original Love and Logic principles with concrete scenarios and how to handle them. Geared for teens...some useable info for my tween but more for when he's a bit older.
March 24, 2022
Though slightly dated (published in 2000) this book is a gem. MANY ideas for how to handle kids' behaviors. With concern and love.
April 23, 2022
Great practical and theoretical, helpful for tween age so far.
July 17, 2015
I wasn't even interested in it, really--I wanted to read the birth-to-five volume--but once I had it, I thought, "Why not find out why these guys got so famous for their program?" I've had lots of people rave about it for ages, oh, about 4 - 10. This book is mostly geared toward teens, but did have a helpful review of young kids stuff (16) as well.
This is a pretty generous "3" out of five stars. But this is largely due to the intense mix of reactions I had to it. On the one hand, there were specific bits of philosophy, advice, and certain sample situations in chapters that seemed absolutely right on the money, carefully qualifying and explaining why the WAY we employ parenting strategies is as important as what is being done or said. I pictured many of the families of teenage students I've taught, and how I could truly picture some of this advice being useful.
Still, my criticisms and annoyances were not infrequent. Here are a few:
1) As with Karp's Happiest Toddler on the Block, give those exclamation points (and caps for that matter) a REST! (Yes I see what I did there.) It came off as too infomercially to take completely seriously.
1b) Again, as with Karp's Happiest T on the B, title: Love and Logic Magic? Ew. Anything with magic explicitly in the name makes me a little barfy. Just like I didn't need advice on how to win the "contest" of "HAPPIEST!!!!" toddler on the block--just less tantrummy would be great--I can't manage to see how the logic and the magic go together. Or how anything can really be magic. Other than things that are magic.
2) Tone down the folksy, Fays. I don't necessarily disagree, but lines like "The only throne a child should sit on in the home is the toilet" were just incredibly off-putting.
3) I get the idea of it taking two to argue--it was a really helpful point I learned early on in my teaching career, specifically from Fred Jones' Tools for Teaching, but still, in the context it is described here, the idea of repeating the same vacuous phrase and then "walk away" (as the book explicitly advises) just doesn't quite resonate with me. I really do get the idea of not letting an argument escalate, getting some space, etc. But that prescribed method just made me feel that it was still a power move on the parents' part. It's odd that I feel this way, because I have always seen myself as a fairly direct parent, but that was (I've learned quickly) because my first was just a mellow, easygoing dude--and my daughter is NOT. So I may find I'm wrong about this one soon enough!
Despite my inconsistent feelings as I read it, ("Oh hey, that really does make sense." - "Ugh. Please stop being capitalized-folksy at me. I can't take you seriously."), I said something at a baseball game last night--my daughter said sadly that her sucker was all gone, and I nonchalantly said, "Oh, yeah. Bummer. Now what?" And a nearby parent said, "Oh sounds just like Love and Logic!" So we struck up a conversation, and she literally said, 90 seconds in, "Man, I some of it [L&L from a class and book] worked like MAGIC, I'm telling you. It was amazing." Well, there you have it--magic. I know her kid a bit, and he seems like not the easiest temperament, so maybe I'm the cranky lady and the Fays are geniuses (who do have psychology and therapy backgrounds, which they inconsistently underplay) in folksy disguise.
This is a pretty generous "3" out of five stars. But this is largely due to the intense mix of reactions I had to it. On the one hand, there were specific bits of philosophy, advice, and certain sample situations in chapters that seemed absolutely right on the money, carefully qualifying and explaining why the WAY we employ parenting strategies is as important as what is being done or said. I pictured many of the families of teenage students I've taught, and how I could truly picture some of this advice being useful.
Still, my criticisms and annoyances were not infrequent. Here are a few:
1) As with Karp's Happiest Toddler on the Block, give those exclamation points (and caps for that matter) a REST! (Yes I see what I did there.) It came off as too infomercially to take completely seriously.
1b) Again, as with Karp's Happiest T on the B, title: Love and Logic Magic? Ew. Anything with magic explicitly in the name makes me a little barfy. Just like I didn't need advice on how to win the "contest" of "HAPPIEST!!!!" toddler on the block--just less tantrummy would be great--I can't manage to see how the logic and the magic go together. Or how anything can really be magic. Other than things that are magic.
2) Tone down the folksy, Fays. I don't necessarily disagree, but lines like "The only throne a child should sit on in the home is the toilet" were just incredibly off-putting.
3) I get the idea of it taking two to argue--it was a really helpful point I learned early on in my teaching career, specifically from Fred Jones' Tools for Teaching, but still, in the context it is described here, the idea of repeating the same vacuous phrase and then "walk away" (as the book explicitly advises) just doesn't quite resonate with me. I really do get the idea of not letting an argument escalate, getting some space, etc. But that prescribed method just made me feel that it was still a power move on the parents' part. It's odd that I feel this way, because I have always seen myself as a fairly direct parent, but that was (I've learned quickly) because my first was just a mellow, easygoing dude--and my daughter is NOT. So I may find I'm wrong about this one soon enough!
Despite my inconsistent feelings as I read it, ("Oh hey, that really does make sense." - "Ugh. Please stop being capitalized-folksy at me. I can't take you seriously."), I said something at a baseball game last night--my daughter said sadly that her sucker was all gone, and I nonchalantly said, "Oh, yeah. Bummer. Now what?" And a nearby parent said, "Oh sounds just like Love and Logic!" So we struck up a conversation, and she literally said, 90 seconds in, "Man, I some of it [L&L from a class and book] worked like MAGIC, I'm telling you. It was amazing." Well, there you have it--magic. I know her kid a bit, and he seems like not the easiest temperament, so maybe I'm the cranky lady and the Fays are geniuses (who do have psychology and therapy backgrounds, which they inconsistently underplay) in folksy disguise.
December 1, 2010
Loved this book! Highly recommend this book to anyone who has kids! I have shocked my kids with some of my calm remarks that I learned. They also have really suprised me with their reactions to my comments. I find my self waiting for them to put them in a situation or do something wrong just so I can use what I have learned!!! I wish I had bought this one so I could refer back to it as often as needed, which is often these days! There are so many favorite parts that I couldnt even begin to share them all....I will read more of these books for sure. I can say that my oldest doesnt roll her eyes at me as much as she used too and I can get them to talk to me in a quiet, calm voice!
May 30, 2011
Another great resource in the Love and Logic collection. I like the format of this book; you can look up a particular problem you are having with a child and come up with a solution to handle it. This book covers responses to problems with chores, drugs, bad friends, needing designer clothes, etc.
As I've mentioned in other reviews, I like the Love and Logic principles in how it teaches kids to practice decision-making, and it encourages parents to give out large doses of love and eliminate heated arguments and power struggles.
As I've mentioned in other reviews, I like the Love and Logic principles in how it teaches kids to practice decision-making, and it encourages parents to give out large doses of love and eliminate heated arguments and power struggles.
May 18, 2010
Although much of this book seems like common sense to me there are some great tips and good reminders for today's modern parents. For the most part, I was already parenting with "love and logic" and didn't even know it. It is organized in a nice format that is easy to reference for your particular situation and I enjoy their scenes written between parent and child. I also enjoyed the authors' personal stories of their parents and children.
Want to read
May 31, 2011I have read this book before, but it was quite a while ago. I did add some of the techniques to my parenting "quiver," and was also pleasantly surprised to find that I do some of them already, thanks to my parents. However, I really would like to go through this book again now that my kids are older. I feel that I could really benefit from a refresher and a more in-depth application of the principles in the book, especially with my ADHD child.
April 3, 2008
Great supplement to the Parenting with Love and Logic Books. This one handles more specific areas of concern and tries to give direct ways to handle them.
The hardest part is to remember to follow the advice when you're in the middle of the situation yourself!! But - if you can - the suggestions do work.
The hardest part is to remember to follow the advice when you're in the middle of the situation yourself!! But - if you can - the suggestions do work.
May 30, 2008
I enjoy all the Love and Logic Parenting Books, tapes and videos. I read and re-read them to keep refreshed or when I find myself reverting back to "helicopter or drill sargent parenting". I really appreciate the dialog in their teaching materials as some parenting books are just theory and no practical advice.
May 16, 2011
Wow, I thought I would love this series but this is the first one that came in from the library and I didn't agree with it at all! The tone totally rubbed me the wrong way, as did the suggestions. I'll still pick up the original book just to make sure it's not for us, but this one totally turned me off.
January 28, 2008
This is a very good resource book for all those troubling things with what your say/do. It has a table of contents where you can look up your "problem"- and then flip quickly to find a suggestion in taking care of the problem. Good resource for kids from 4 until teen years.
May 25, 2009
I could leave this on my currently read list for the next 12 years. Common phrases or behaviors that leave us speechless when they come from our children with solutions to how to handle them. Will be using this one over and over.
September 27, 2009
Some really great information but also some really odd stuff as well. Better tailored for teenagers than young children. Working on his other books now. I like the "Teaching with love and logic" better.
June 2, 2010
I love the Love and Logic series. They are amazing books and I think the best parenting books out there. I've read them all and I loved this one too. I recommend it to any parent and any grandparent out there.
June 1, 2010
This book has great ideas for handling different issues. I was able to get to pg 44 of 233 but the book is due and must be turned in. Wish I could keep it longer and just sit and read instead of dealing with the kids in between paragraphs.
November 30, 2010
Great parenting resource book that accompanies one of my favorite parenting books, Parenting with Love and Logic. This book gives helpful advice on short but great responses to give to our kids that are logical, reasonable, firm, but loving.
September 14, 2012
Overall, this Love and Logic book had some great examples (as always), but most of the chapters did not apply to my kids yet. I would definitely recommend this book to parents with older kids/teens.
April 12, 2013
Charles and Jim Fay give amazing tips on how to respond to your children that build relationships out of Love and Logic. I am quite excited to have an argument with my little girl to practice these amazing practices.
March 25, 2008
Hysterical! Good read--- I actually have this on CD and listened to the lectures, but HIGHLY recommend these books to ANYONE needing to get control of themselves in their parenting.
April 7, 2008
Great ideas for when I truly am speechless. I can lock myself in a room and look up some ideas. Will always be currently reading.
Read
May 8, 2009Good techniques for older kids- great ! although I didn't agree with what he said to do about swearing!
August 28, 2008
I'm still reviewing this book sometimes. I use what I learned from this book almost daily. I'm definately a more loving, level-headed parent because I use these tips.
October 1, 2008
Lots of great parenting ideas. It's kind of a new way to look at dealing with your children. Put all the responsibility back on them, and never let them see you sweat! Tough to put into practice.
January 9, 2009
Fantastic advice! A must-read for *every* parent.
April 27, 2009
Another great love and logic book!
December 24, 2009
I thought this book was great it gave great advice on how to help little kids to teenagers. I will keep it handy and refer to it often.
March 8, 2011
Great tips that I have tried with my own kids, and they work!
April 20, 2011
I loved how it was set-up. Locate your problem, locate your solution all without having to read everything.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get help and learn more about the design.