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240 pages, Paperback
First published September 18, 1995
丕賱廿賰鬲卅丕亘- 亘胤乇賷賯丞賺 賲丕貙 賲鬲爻賯賹 賰孬賷乇賸丕 賲毓 兀賮賰丕乇 丕賱賲噩鬲賲毓 毓賳 丕賱賲乇兀丞鈥�
乇兀賷鬲 ..鬲毓丕亘賷乇 丕賱兀賱賲 丕賱乇賴賷亘 賮賷 毓賷賵賳 丕賱賳爻丕亍
噩夭亍賹 賲賳賷 鬲賵丕氐賱 賲毓賴賲 賱丕卮毓賵乇賷丕
賵亘胤乇賷賯丞 毓噩賷亘丞 賮賴賽賲 賴匕丕 鈥徹з勜Y勝� 鈥�
亘丿賵賳 兀賳 兀鬲禺賷賱 兀賳賳賷 賷賵賲丕 賲丕 爻賵賮 兀賳馗乇 賮賷 丕賱賲乇丌丞
賵兀乇賶 鈥徹з勜操� 賵丕賱噩賳賵賳 賮賷 毓賷賳賷 賳賮爻賷賴賲丕 鈥�
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兀賷 賲賳 賲卮丕毓乇賷 丨賯賷賯賷責 兀賷 兀賳丕 賴賷 兀賳丕責 丕賱賮鬲丕丞 丕賱卮丕乇丿丞 丕賱賲鬲賴賵乇丞..賵丕賱賮賵囟賵賷丞 賵丕賱賳卮賷胤丞..賵丕賱賲噩賳賵賳丞責
兀賵 丕賱禺噩賵賱丞.. 賵丕賱賲賳毓夭賱丞..鈥徺堌з勝娯жω池�.. 賵丕賱丕賳鬲丨丕乇賷丞.. 賵丕賱賴丕賱賰丞..賵丕賱賲賳賴賰丞責 鈥�
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鈥淚 am tired of hiding, tired of misspent and knotted energies, tired of the hypocrisy, and tired of acting as though I have something to hide.鈥�is an honest and profoundly dramatic memoir that reveals the challenges and sufferings faced by people that suffer from bipolar disorder. herself endured the dangerous highs of euphoria mixed with the lows of depression. Her professional success as a clinical psychologist coupled with her forthright story helps to diminish the stigma of this serious mental illness that affect many.
鈥淭here is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. When you're high it's tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars, and you follow them until you find better and brighter ones. Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, the power to captivate others a felt certainty. There are interests found in uninteresting people. Sensuality is pervasive and the desire to seduce and be seduced irresistible. Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence, and euphoria pervade one's marrow. But, somewhere, this changes. The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many; overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Memory goes. Humor and absorption on friends' faces are replaced by fear and concern. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against-- you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and enmeshed totally in the blackest caves of the mind. You never knew those caves were there. It will never end, for madness carves its own reality.鈥�Insightful, poignant and thoroughly revealing. Highly recommended!
it was a society built around a tension between romance and discipline: a complicated world of excitement, stultification, fast life, and sudden death, and if afforded a window back in time to what nineteenth-century living, at its best, and at its worst, must have been: Gracious, civilized, elitest and singularly intolerant of personal weakness.I reckon sentences with two colons are about as common as humans with two colons. But this does give you a small flavor of her cool, detached writing style. There's more:
Now he made no judgements about my completely irrational purchases; or if he did, he didn't make them to me. Courtesy of a personal loan he took out from the credit union of the World Bank, where he worked as an economist, we were able to write checks to cover all of the outstanding bills. Slowly, over a period of many years, I was able to pay back what I owed him. More accurate, I was able to pay back the money I owed him. I can never pay back the love, kindness and understanding.A nice sentiment.
I was late to understand that chaos and intensity are no substitute for lasting love, nor are they necessarily an improvement on normal life. Normal people are not always boring.