The international bestseller shares the private correspondence between two young Africans and their pastor to discern the Christian meaning of love and marriage, sin and salvation. Foreword by Josh McDowell.
This Christian classic should be read by everyone! Letters between a German missionary pastor and a young (nonChristian) African man and the (Christian) girl he's attracted to. Walter Trobisch is the finest writer on the subject of love that I have ever come across. He knows what it is to be in love, and unlike most Christian writers, he doesn't lose sight of that when he gives guidance from the Bible about love between a man and a woman. It is interesting that arranged marriages and polygamy come up in his writing to Africans but are dealt with in the same consistent gentle revelation of God's goodness.
I read this in two sittings, after receiving it as a gift from one of my dear mentors. This was delightful and beautiful, and there is so much to glean in such a short book. I underlined a lot, making notes in the margins.
I loved the honesty and "frankness" that was expressed by all the correspondents. Why is such open communication so rare?! It made it so that the reader could relate and resonate because human hearts are so very alike. The obvious focus is the romance of the young man and young woman, and the wrestling through all areas of their relationship before God and the progression of the relationship.
But I also so appreciated getting to see the beauty of the relationship with the couple and their mentors, and the mentor's correspondence with each other. The way that each person respected and honored each other, being both open and discreet, and for the most part respectfully loving each other even in somewhat heated disagreement. I hope someday to mentor in ways similar to ways that were modeled.
I also found the cross cultural differences educational and fascinating. It challenges the way that Western society views love and challenges the letter-writers and the readers to consider the distinctions between what is Christian and what is European in the way that love, family relationships, marriage, and language is viewed and used.
Note: I would recommend discretion to younger teens reading this, sexual topics are handled with care but bluntness on some occasions.
This was a surprising book to find tucked away in our church library. It is a collection of letters written between a young African man and a German missionary. It dives into so many important topics related to relationships, intimacy and marriage. Amazed at the wisdom of the missionary's responses! The frank and open way in which it is written is refreshing. I think this book would be beneficial for any person desiring to be married one day, or who is already married.
I really had no idea what I expected to gain from reading this book. But right now I actually don't know how to explain just how educative this book was/is. It almost felt surreal and most often than not, I willed the story to turn out differently.
The young man, François, I found out, was quite conflicted. I appreciated his frank way of approaching his questions but I couldn't help feeling he wanted a little more than comfort. He wanted to get all the answers to the questions and wasn't at all prepared for the challenges that came with it. In a way I understand him though. He was still trying to accept the fact that God is ready to forgive no matter what happens.
Walter Trobisch's answers were so inspiring and motivating, I wasn't really expecting François to doubt them for a second.
All in all it's a really thought-provoking read and I don't regret reading it for a second.
I loved this book. This book is so insightful regarding what real love is. This book helped me understand my marriage and how to love my husband better. But the books not even about that. The book is really about defining real love. This book would be great for premarital counseling. Would be great for young women/men as we date and contemplate marriage. This book is deep well of wisdom it is not rules to follow. It doesn’t give us the answers on how to live. May we all have somebody loving and challenging us like the pastor did in this book for this African young man. This book is timeless.
Ich wollte es gerne im Kontext seiner Zeit (1968) betrachten, aber es ist einfach so misogyn (und rassistisch und bigott), das mir das nicht gelingt. Habe es in der Hälfte abgebrochen.
Set within in 20th century Africa, Trobisch brings us into the world of a young man struggling with sexuality. Although taken within the context of this Africa that is foreign to us such as bride prices, the letters between Trobisch and the young man are full of deep spiritual insights and Christian truths that cut across all cultures and time. This book is great for young men who are currently dating or looking to get married in the near future.
Everyone should read this. Even though the book is written by Christians, and a lot of stuffs in there are reference from the Bible, the premise on which the book is based on is real life situations and a true story of how to develop and treasure your love, a gift given to the human race, a priceless one.
I was afraid it would be woefully outdated and racist, and while there are a few uncomfortable traces of the time and culture from which it came, it's an interesting snapshot that contains some pretty solid advice and encouragement.
Really Really good! I highly would recommend it! It's one thing to believe God that fornication is wrong, but this book helps you understand why, and how destructive it is.
I have had this book for over 3 years. I remember picking it up once but I did not finish. I picked it up again last month in a trip and I was like,� how come I haven’t read this book all this while?�.
Wowww The honesty in the letters, Yh it’s a private correspondence so it’s kind of expected. The themes touched on: love, marriage, bride- price custom, religious discipline, polygamy to mention but few.
Wowww
I loved it I enjoyyyyyyeeeeedddd it I learnt from it
Pastor Trobisch did so well. Getting someone to open up to you is not easy and to build that trust and bond with François and later Cecile is very recommendable.
I’m glad this private correspondence was shared with us all.
Walter x Ingrid
“True love communicates. Love that finds no words to express itself soon dies.�
This is a timeless classic that is a "must read" for every young Christian man who struggles with sexuality (which is likely most of us men, right?) and love. I have given this to all of my sons and friends' sons. Thirty years after marriage and forty years after reading this for a number of times, I still remember numerous principals. In addition to Mr. Trobisch's timeless wisdom, the relationship of mentor/mentee was a model to my own mentorship of others and receipt of mentorship from others eludes many readers. This is not a "gift" or "graduation" book, it should be given when boyhood begins to become manhood.
3,4* Není to špatná kniha, jen je prostě poznat, že je staršího data. Důvody neplodnosti atd podle mě už zdaleka nesedí s aktuálními daty atd, plus spousta situacích je až v černobílém vidění, také je potřeba přihlédnout k opravdu hodně odlišné africké mentalitě. Suma sumárum to ale bylo hezké čtení, forma korespondence byla čtivá a celkově se za mě jedná o efektivní způsob jak vzdělat mládež v těchto tématech, které více či méně řeší všichni mladí. Myšlenka s tygrem, kterého musíme ovladat stále dokola a dokola se mi moc líbila.
Even though this book is well over 50 years old now the principles that Trobisch laid out in this book are as timely as if he'd written them yesterday. It is thought provoking and still a book worth reading for teens and young men to understand themselves and why they are called to behave a certain way.
আম� আর আমার প্রেমি� বন্ধ� এক সাথে বইটা পড়ি,আমার যতটা ভালো লেগেছে তা� চাইত� অনেক বেশি ভালো লেগেছে বন্ধুটার।এ� বইটা জনপ্রিয় এখান� হৃদয়ে� কথ� ত্রিকো� এঙ্গেল� বল� হয়েছে এট� ভালো লাগা� মত�,নতুন প্রেমি� কিংব� হৃদয়বাদী মানুষে� জন্য� বইটা অবশ্� পাঠ্য।কিন্তু আমার মত� কর্পোরেট মানু� অন্যভাবে ভাবে।���� শেষে ছো� বই পড়ে আরাম লেগেছে�
I love how honest these letters are about a young Christian marriage in Africa several years ago. The message still rings true. It preaches about love and Godly love, the importance of waiting and the meaning of marriage. It does so in a human way–stumbling through our humanness to bring truth to a broken world. I highly recommend this book to young adults in the church.
This book was so simply written. The letters of Trobisch were meaningful and pastoral. The material is not new, but truths about sexuality and relationships were so lovingly communicated that it was well worth reading.
This book has been such an inspiration to me.. it has really opened my mind to a lot of similar things that i'm already facing in my relationship and has helped clarify them. I was happy to have shared it with my boyfriend.. which has also helped him aswell. I recommend it to every young couple.
This was an interesting read, though not quite what I was expecting. Some of the science used in the arguments is outdated. Some of the opinions expressed about women will not be popular with modern audiences. But I enjoyed learning about this culture, and the Biblical advice is still relevant.