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Fakes: An Anthology of Pseudo-Interviews, Faux-Lectures, Quasi-Letters, "Found" Texts, and Other Fraudulent Artifacts
Contemporary short stories enacting giddy, witty revenge on the documents that define and dominate our lives.
In our bureaucratized culture, we're inundated by documents: itineraries, instruction manuals, permit forms, primers, letters of complaint, end-of-year reports, accidentally forwarded email, traffic updates, ad infinitum. David Shields and Matthew Vollmer, both writers and professors, have gathered forty short fictions that they've found to be seriously hilarious and irresistibly teachable (in both writing and literature courses): counterfeit texts that capture the barely suppressed frustration and yearning that percolate just below the surface of most official documents. The innovative stories collected in Fakes including ones by Ron Carlson (a personal ad), Amy Hempel (a complaint to the parking department), Rick Moody (Works Cited), and Lydia Davis (a letter to a funeral parlor) trace the increasingly blurry line between fact and fiction and exemplify a crucial form for the twenty-first century.
With contributions by:
David Means
George Saunders
Stanley Crawford
Mark Halliday
Charles Yu
Caron A. Levis
Lorrie Moore
Kevin Wilson
Elizabeth Stuckey-French
Amy Hempel
Donald Barthelme
Joe Wenderoth
Laura Jayne Martin
Ron Carlson
Chris Bachelder
Rob Cohen
Mieke Eerkens
Joseph Salvatore
Daniel Orozco
Greg Burnham
Jack Pendarvis
Robin Hemley
Kari Anne Roy
Rachel B. Glaser
Wendy Brenner
Lucas Cooper
Samantha Hunt
Charles McLeod
Matthew Williamson
Arda Collins
David Shields
Melanie Rae Thon
Matthew Vollmer
Lydia Davis
Paul Theroux
Rick Moody
Michael Martone
J. Robert Lennon
Jonathan Safran Foer
J. G. Ballard
In our bureaucratized culture, we're inundated by documents: itineraries, instruction manuals, permit forms, primers, letters of complaint, end-of-year reports, accidentally forwarded email, traffic updates, ad infinitum. David Shields and Matthew Vollmer, both writers and professors, have gathered forty short fictions that they've found to be seriously hilarious and irresistibly teachable (in both writing and literature courses): counterfeit texts that capture the barely suppressed frustration and yearning that percolate just below the surface of most official documents. The innovative stories collected in Fakes including ones by Ron Carlson (a personal ad), Amy Hempel (a complaint to the parking department), Rick Moody (Works Cited), and Lydia Davis (a letter to a funeral parlor) trace the increasingly blurry line between fact and fiction and exemplify a crucial form for the twenty-first century.
With contributions by:
David Means
George Saunders
Stanley Crawford
Mark Halliday
Charles Yu
Caron A. Levis
Lorrie Moore
Kevin Wilson
Elizabeth Stuckey-French
Amy Hempel
Donald Barthelme
Joe Wenderoth
Laura Jayne Martin
Ron Carlson
Chris Bachelder
Rob Cohen
Mieke Eerkens
Joseph Salvatore
Daniel Orozco
Greg Burnham
Jack Pendarvis
Robin Hemley
Kari Anne Roy
Rachel B. Glaser
Wendy Brenner
Lucas Cooper
Samantha Hunt
Charles McLeod
Matthew Williamson
Arda Collins
David Shields
Melanie Rae Thon
Matthew Vollmer
Lydia Davis
Paul Theroux
Rick Moody
Michael Martone
J. Robert Lennon
Jonathan Safran Foer
J. G. Ballard
368 pages, Paperback
First published October 15, 2012
25 people are currently reading
715 people want to read
About the author
David Shields
74Ìýbooks259ÌýfollowersDavid Shields is the author of fourteen books, including Reality Hunger (Knopf, 2010), which was named one of the best books of 2010 by more than thirty publications. GQ called it "the most provocative, brain-rewiring book of 2010"; the New York Times called it "a mind-bending manifesto." His previous book, The Thing About Life Is That One Day You'll Be Dead (Knopf, 2008), was a New York Times bestseller. His other books include Black Planet: Facing Race During an NBA Season, a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award; Remote: Reflections on Life in the Shadow of Celebrity, winner of the PEN/Revson Award; and Dead Languages: A Novel, winner of the PEN Syndicated Fiction Award. His essays and stories have appeared in the New York Times Magazine, Harper's, Yale Review, Believer, Village Voice, Salon, Slate, McSweeney's, and Utne Reader; he's written reviews for the New York Times Book Review, Los Angeles Times Book Review, Boston Globe, and Philadelphia Inquirer. His work has been translated into fifteen languages.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
October 1, 2016
My friend Cathy Fleischer (and Sarah Andrew-Vaughn) wrote a book called Writing Outside Your Comfort Zone: Helping Students Navigate Unfamiliar Genres, based on research they had done in their classrooms. Several ideas are at work in their project; one is clearly that students need to learn various genres of writing. Another is that teachers typically teach one genre at a time, whether you are good at it or not. Why not invite students to pick a genre with with they are unfamiliar, learn as much as they can about it, and then write in that genre. Genre inquiry. Useful.
Fakes is not intended as a companion to this book, of course, but if I were teaching writing (K-12) or composition (what they call writing at colleges and universities here in the U.S.) I would use it as such, for sure. Fakes is pretty deeply about genre, of course, and most often humorously so. I had read a few of these in other places--Lydia Davis's Letter to a Funeral Parlor, Lorrie Moore's "How to be a Writer" (Instructions), George Saunders's "I Can Speak" (letter Responding to a Complaint), "The Explanation," by Donald Barthelme (Interview) and love them, but I love so many of them, such as Jonathan Foer's "About the Typefaces not Used in this Edition," and Matthew Vollmer's "Will and Testament" from his Inscriptions On Headstones. Cool stuff. Clever, insightful, fun.
Fakes is not intended as a companion to this book, of course, but if I were teaching writing (K-12) or composition (what they call writing at colleges and universities here in the U.S.) I would use it as such, for sure. Fakes is pretty deeply about genre, of course, and most often humorously so. I had read a few of these in other places--Lydia Davis's Letter to a Funeral Parlor, Lorrie Moore's "How to be a Writer" (Instructions), George Saunders's "I Can Speak" (letter Responding to a Complaint), "The Explanation," by Donald Barthelme (Interview) and love them, but I love so many of them, such as Jonathan Foer's "About the Typefaces not Used in this Edition," and Matthew Vollmer's "Will and Testament" from his Inscriptions On Headstones. Cool stuff. Clever, insightful, fun.
November 5, 2012
Highly recommended to anyone who teaches creative writing to undergrads or feels like they're in a rut with their own stuff. So many ideas in here, so many examples of fictional forms other than the conventional story. Cleverness abounds throughout of course but when these work well it's clear that unconventional form restriction inspired the writer in a way that might also excite a reader. Classics in here I've read elsewhere include pieces by Lorrie Moore, Donald Barthleme, George Saunders, Stanley Crawford, Joe Wenderoth, Rick Moody (I read his thing around 1997 and soon after made it through The Recognitions as a result), Michael Martone, Jonathan "Saffron" Foer, Lydia Davis. But I really enjoyed new stuff (new to me, at least) by Matthew Williamson, Arda Collins, Joseph Salvatore, the editor Matthew Vollmer (whose is a must -- a series of one-sentence autobiographical epitaphs), and J. Robert Lennon, particularly (transparency note: I know four of those five fine folks). A nicely formatted paperback, too. Wish I had this back when I taught!
Shelved as 'abandoned'
July 17, 2014Grrr. This is the only book I brought with me today, for when I finished . Something light and amusing, I thought, for after the downer.
Well, it is light, in the sense that it is printed on really cheap paper, and thus, despite being a thick trade edition, it doesn't weigh much. And then after an introduction that explains how to make fakes (but not why to anthologize them), the very first entry is "Disclaimer" about an abused and murdered woman, which should not be confused with a real woman, even should there happen to be such a thing.
I just can't. I've read parts of everything up through #24. None so far are funny, none so far are remotely plausible as what they purport to be, but rather they are mostly excuses to mock the subjects or supposed authors.
Maybe I'm just letting the news of the world get me down, but the complete lack of empathy at the outset just makes everything else feel arch and shallow and annoying.
Library copy
Well, it is light, in the sense that it is printed on really cheap paper, and thus, despite being a thick trade edition, it doesn't weigh much. And then after an introduction that explains how to make fakes (but not why to anthologize them), the very first entry is "Disclaimer" about an abused and murdered woman, which should not be confused with a real woman, even should there happen to be such a thing.
I just can't. I've read parts of everything up through #24. None so far are funny, none so far are remotely plausible as what they purport to be, but rather they are mostly excuses to mock the subjects or supposed authors.
Maybe I'm just letting the news of the world get me down, but the complete lack of empathy at the outset just makes everything else feel arch and shallow and annoying.
Library copy
August 23, 2013
I own the hardcover first printing of Stanley Crawford's Some Instructions to My Wife and liked the book very much, so in full disclosure about the Stanley Crawford piece that was included in this book Fakes here, I say that I couldn't read it for the font. The font hurt my eyes, this typeface they chose. But I had already read the Crawford piece in a hardcover book years ago and wasn't going to read the text fully again anyway, but I did want to scan the bit and found I couldn't even try to read even a few sentences for old-time's sake because of the awful font. And Some Instructions to My Wife wasn't the only entry in this collection that struck me so badly this way. Charles Yu didn't get my dutiful attention either because of the same problem I had with again their choice of typeface. Kevin Wilson also. And the layout of the Caron A. Levis piece almost made me insane with the disagreeable imposition required of me to even try reading it. What is it with these layout people? These people in charge of design?
On a better note, and further along, the selection From Letters to Wendys by Joe Wenderoth reminded me of the very best of all the letters ever written which sadly was not mentioned anywhere in this book, that being a novel chock full of letters titled Epigraph written by Gordon Lish. I wish the editors would have taken a peek at Lish's work before publishing this book. If you, the reader here, have not read Epigraph I implore you to get out there and get yourself a copy and get down to the reading of it. Shame upon shame of it all that Epigraph was not listed even at the end where they had this little Further Reading section in which they had listed several other notable titles one might want to get their hands on as they just couldn't merit their own way for whatever reason into this book.
Amy Hempel has always impressed me as a very fine writer. The selection included here of her #388475848-5 is very much worth reading. Myself, I hate traffic violations and the entire process of dealing with them. Hempel makes her disagreeable experience more than bearable.
Under the heading Further Reading at the back of the book the editors have listed a Raymond Carver short story (the story written as a letter to somebody we are not sure of the identity) under the subtitle Correspondence which after reading the Carver story again I found Why, Honey? to be the best of all the titles listed in the book.
I previously read Matthew Vollmer's Will & Testament in another collection titled Future Missionaries of America and did not need to read it so soon again here in Fakes. Actually, I recently wrote a somewhat glowing review of Future Missionaries of America and in it I highlighted this Will & Testament entry as one of the very best in the collection. I love the work of Matthew Vollmer and believe in my heart of hearts that he is the real deal.
On an end note I want to say how much I did enjoy reading the brilliant work included here by Lydia Davis titled, Letter to a Funeral Parlor. The letter followed Vollmer's prior brilliance and is worthy of commendation as there hasn't been much in my opinion to crow about here. Even the so-called "classics" in the genre bored me. But what I certainly do love about reading books, and that includes this one Fakes, is the curious manner in which I always seem to segue into new writers (note they also can be old, and even dead, writers I haven't yet heard of which make them new to me) and my subsequent purchases made on amazon.com in order to acquire their words posthaste.
The book was OK. I may have expected more of it because of the great title and thus I was a little disappointed when I couldn't find much of what I was looking for. I did find a few surprises and certain artifacts of great interest to me in this book of fakes. But there were more than enough areas of disagreement regarding certain selections made by the editors.
On a better note, and further along, the selection From Letters to Wendys by Joe Wenderoth reminded me of the very best of all the letters ever written which sadly was not mentioned anywhere in this book, that being a novel chock full of letters titled Epigraph written by Gordon Lish. I wish the editors would have taken a peek at Lish's work before publishing this book. If you, the reader here, have not read Epigraph I implore you to get out there and get yourself a copy and get down to the reading of it. Shame upon shame of it all that Epigraph was not listed even at the end where they had this little Further Reading section in which they had listed several other notable titles one might want to get their hands on as they just couldn't merit their own way for whatever reason into this book.
Amy Hempel has always impressed me as a very fine writer. The selection included here of her #388475848-5 is very much worth reading. Myself, I hate traffic violations and the entire process of dealing with them. Hempel makes her disagreeable experience more than bearable.
Under the heading Further Reading at the back of the book the editors have listed a Raymond Carver short story (the story written as a letter to somebody we are not sure of the identity) under the subtitle Correspondence which after reading the Carver story again I found Why, Honey? to be the best of all the titles listed in the book.
I previously read Matthew Vollmer's Will & Testament in another collection titled Future Missionaries of America and did not need to read it so soon again here in Fakes. Actually, I recently wrote a somewhat glowing review of Future Missionaries of America and in it I highlighted this Will & Testament entry as one of the very best in the collection. I love the work of Matthew Vollmer and believe in my heart of hearts that he is the real deal.
On an end note I want to say how much I did enjoy reading the brilliant work included here by Lydia Davis titled, Letter to a Funeral Parlor. The letter followed Vollmer's prior brilliance and is worthy of commendation as there hasn't been much in my opinion to crow about here. Even the so-called "classics" in the genre bored me. But what I certainly do love about reading books, and that includes this one Fakes, is the curious manner in which I always seem to segue into new writers (note they also can be old, and even dead, writers I haven't yet heard of which make them new to me) and my subsequent purchases made on amazon.com in order to acquire their words posthaste.
The book was OK. I may have expected more of it because of the great title and thus I was a little disappointed when I couldn't find much of what I was looking for. I did find a few surprises and certain artifacts of great interest to me in this book of fakes. But there were more than enough areas of disagreement regarding certain selections made by the editors.
March 8, 2013
When I finished this collection I was sad. Not because there were no more amazing stories to be read. Not just because each one of these stories exhibited my own talents to be so grossly lacking. SImply because there's a good chance that never, not in the history of publishing nor the thirty or so years I have left to witness, see a collection so closely aimed to my personal tastes. Fantastic.
February 21, 2014
Clever and creative. Much fails for me but I think I just soemtimes miss the humour. What does work for me, works well.
August 5, 2020
This was the assigned text in a creative writing class I took on "new genres." We were not just talking about fake artifacts and borrowed forms so in a way it was unfortunate that the text dealt exclusively with that. It is a decent text, though I think the newer book is more literary.
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That said, this one had two brilliant examples that alone were worth the price of the book. Lydia Davis' classic letter to a Funeral Parlour (I love her so much).... and as if that wasn't enough, I got to read someone who is new to me, Charles Yu--wow!! That guy can write. Brilliant story--highly recommend it
I am planning to read his first novel--and maybe watch West World, which I believe (??) he had a role in creating scripts?
Great class. Great book. Charles Yu is awesome.
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That said, this one had two brilliant examples that alone were worth the price of the book. Lydia Davis' classic letter to a Funeral Parlour (I love her so much).... and as if that wasn't enough, I got to read someone who is new to me, Charles Yu--wow!! That guy can write. Brilliant story--highly recommend it
I am planning to read his first novel--and maybe watch West World, which I believe (??) he had a role in creating scripts?
Great class. Great book. Charles Yu is awesome.
April 5, 2021
I have a deep well in my heart for artifact fiction, and this anthology, often considered one of the best collections of the genre (and I have a signed copy, no less) didn't hit the right notes for me consistently: some great pieces, like the ones by Charles Yu, George Saunders, Laura Jayne Martin, Charles McLeod, but a bunch of others were disappointing. Oh, great, I get to read about Jonathan Safran Foer discuss birds again, whoopee. The ToC here is studded with all-star writers, which I almost liked less than if it had been full of unexpected artifact authors and names I hadn't heard of. "Rick Moody makes a funny works cited" just doesn't fill me with passion to turn the page, but I can see this anthology generally being a good teaching tool. And it's a reprint anthology! Not sure if that makes it better or worse. Always good to see Lorrie Moore's characters write about a man and woman getting their lower torsos blown away with dynamite. 5/10 from me, folks.
April 24, 2019
Great fun. A few duds, but mostly funny and touching, and inspiring for writers.
August 12, 2021
Could you trust a review of fakes?
November 20, 2021
The stories in this collection truly show what can be achieved outside of the traditional plot structure. That means there are stories that are really fantastic and clever in here. It also means there's a lot of pieces that miss the mark completely. Stories that will leave you asking: what is the point of it all?
February 18, 2013
I rated this book 3.75/5 stars on . A review copy was provided by the publisher.
Review excerpt:
"This anthology caught my eye because of Ìý(and by "read," I mostly mean skimmed). The concept of the book revolves around the "fraudulent artifacts" in the title; it reminds me of a cross among blogs like , which contains realÌýartifacts giving us fascinating peeks at people and situations via correspondence, pieces from , and fake Amazon reviews, the writing of which has become an art form unto itself. (The reviews for kept me entertained for literally hours. Also, .)
The "artifacts" in the anthology range from an irate letter from William Carlos Williams' "roommate" ("Will, you are a dick. You're goddamn right I was saving those plums for breakfast"), to an essay from Lorrie Moore on how to become a writer ("First, try to be something, anything, else"), to reviews of Chris Bachelder's beard, to a series of police reports that unfold a more personal story. Many of the stories have elements of humor, which is to be expected, given the playfulness of the idea of a false artifact; some of the stories also deeply move the reader. My breath caught more than once."
Read the full review at .
Review excerpt:
"This anthology caught my eye because of Ìý(and by "read," I mostly mean skimmed). The concept of the book revolves around the "fraudulent artifacts" in the title; it reminds me of a cross among blogs like , which contains realÌýartifacts giving us fascinating peeks at people and situations via correspondence, pieces from , and fake Amazon reviews, the writing of which has become an art form unto itself. (The reviews for kept me entertained for literally hours. Also, .)
The "artifacts" in the anthology range from an irate letter from William Carlos Williams' "roommate" ("Will, you are a dick. You're goddamn right I was saving those plums for breakfast"), to an essay from Lorrie Moore on how to become a writer ("First, try to be something, anything, else"), to reviews of Chris Bachelder's beard, to a series of police reports that unfold a more personal story. Many of the stories have elements of humor, which is to be expected, given the playfulness of the idea of a false artifact; some of the stories also deeply move the reader. My breath caught more than once."
Read the full review at .
July 19, 2013
Like with many anthologies that are collected around a specific formal practice in writing, this book varies in quality. Some selections are really top-notch, but others are almost worthy of skipping. The idea behind them all is creative writing that is in the format of some non-creative text: for-sale listings, book indexes, wills, police logs, etc. Where these work the best is, I believe, not dependent on the the form the writer chose to cleverly lampoon, but on the actual content. When the story, the situation being portrayed, is powerful and touching, the piece is powerful, regardless of whether it's written in the form of a glossary, colophon, or set of story problems.
Some standouts I particularly liked were "Permission Slip" by Caron A. Levis, in which a problem student hijacks her school's intercom system and rants at the entire school; "Officer's Weep" by Daniel Orozco in which a romance between two cops blooms in the form of a police blotter; and "National Treasures"by Charles McCleod, a heartbreaking life story told via an auction listing of the narrator's possessions. The key in all of these, and all the others that are best, is the depiction of a realistic and poignant human life, not the cleverness of how it gets bent into a weird type of writing.
Some standouts I particularly liked were "Permission Slip" by Caron A. Levis, in which a problem student hijacks her school's intercom system and rants at the entire school; "Officer's Weep" by Daniel Orozco in which a romance between two cops blooms in the form of a police blotter; and "National Treasures"by Charles McCleod, a heartbreaking life story told via an auction listing of the narrator's possessions. The key in all of these, and all the others that are best, is the depiction of a realistic and poignant human life, not the cleverness of how it gets bent into a weird type of writing.
July 10, 2022
This is a very bad job of an anthology. Of 40 stories I loved or really liked 5, and 9 I thought were interesting.
The vast majority of the stories are mediocre or plain bad, most don't use the format they're saying they're using properly or at all, many are just people speaking to an audience and that, in the written medium, doesn't work like other formats do.
So many of these have, as a central theme or mentioned, infidelity or bad relationships and it's terribly repetitive and tiring. Most try and fail at being funny (and the ones that are actually good are not comical), most of the time the humor coming from the fact that the story is just someone talking too much about their lives in contexts where they shouldn't. Anecdotes, again, where infidelity and sex play a huge role, which are such overused themes.
And I HATE the anglocentrism. The only not English-speaking authors mentioned are in the "further reading" annex and even then it's like 4 out of at least 100, 3 latin americans at that (Junot DÃaz, Roberto Bolaño, and Borges). There's so much more that could have been presented, especially OUTSIDE the annex. For example, "Sobremesa" by Cortázar, a great short story in epistolary form that actually uses the format in a clever way. I bet there's examples in every country ever, and not going outside of the UK, US, Canada, etc. is appalling.
I thought that maybe this was a book to make new authors known but no, they're stories picked here and there from the 90s and 2000s, which makes it an even more disappointing job.
(I didn't look up especifically every author mentioned in the annex, but from the names you can clearly tell the numbers).
The vast majority of the stories are mediocre or plain bad, most don't use the format they're saying they're using properly or at all, many are just people speaking to an audience and that, in the written medium, doesn't work like other formats do.
So many of these have, as a central theme or mentioned, infidelity or bad relationships and it's terribly repetitive and tiring. Most try and fail at being funny (and the ones that are actually good are not comical), most of the time the humor coming from the fact that the story is just someone talking too much about their lives in contexts where they shouldn't. Anecdotes, again, where infidelity and sex play a huge role, which are such overused themes.
And I HATE the anglocentrism. The only not English-speaking authors mentioned are in the "further reading" annex and even then it's like 4 out of at least 100, 3 latin americans at that (Junot DÃaz, Roberto Bolaño, and Borges). There's so much more that could have been presented, especially OUTSIDE the annex. For example, "Sobremesa" by Cortázar, a great short story in epistolary form that actually uses the format in a clever way. I bet there's examples in every country ever, and not going outside of the UK, US, Canada, etc. is appalling.
I thought that maybe this was a book to make new authors known but no, they're stories picked here and there from the 90s and 2000s, which makes it an even more disappointing job.
(I didn't look up especifically every author mentioned in the annex, but from the names you can clearly tell the numbers).
July 10, 2017
Honestly the tags say it all. This is a nerd book. This is a book you will enjoy if you are a nerd about language and the forms it can take. This is not a normal short-story book, but I enjoyed it anyway.
Now, when I say I enjoyed it, I mean for the most part. I found that a few of the stories took the joke and ran with it way too long, to the point where I had to skip to the end because it was just getting repetitive. Most of them, however, were just long enough to make their point and several were genuinely funny. By far my favourite piece was "The Dead Sister Handbook: A Guide for Sensitive Boys," which I am sure was playing on some piece of pop culture that I don't know anything about. But should that author ever wish to publish a full thesis/handbook on Dead Sisters, I would read it.
Anyway, three language-nerd stars!
Now, when I say I enjoyed it, I mean for the most part. I found that a few of the stories took the joke and ran with it way too long, to the point where I had to skip to the end because it was just getting repetitive. Most of them, however, were just long enough to make their point and several were genuinely funny. By far my favourite piece was "The Dead Sister Handbook: A Guide for Sensitive Boys," which I am sure was playing on some piece of pop culture that I don't know anything about. But should that author ever wish to publish a full thesis/handbook on Dead Sisters, I would read it.
Anyway, three language-nerd stars!
April 18, 2021
Originally drawn to this collection because it contains pieces by many authors whose works I’ve enjoyed, I was at first confused by the use of the terms “fake� and “fraudulent� in the title, but the introduction immediately clarified that these pieces were fictional examples of the use of specific formats which are usually employed for real-world purposes.
Most of these showed a degree of cleverness and were moderately amusing. A few were more engaging, hinting at larger stories of human dreams and frustrations. The cleverest was J. G. Ballard’s “The Index� � supposedly the index to an autobiography never found, but which clearly indicates it was about a truly remarkable man. The pieces I found most captivating were “Reply All� by Robin Hemley and “National Treasures� by Charles McLeod.
Most of these showed a degree of cleverness and were moderately amusing. A few were more engaging, hinting at larger stories of human dreams and frustrations. The cleverest was J. G. Ballard’s “The Index� � supposedly the index to an autobiography never found, but which clearly indicates it was about a truly remarkable man. The pieces I found most captivating were “Reply All� by Robin Hemley and “National Treasures� by Charles McLeod.
March 6, 2019
The pieces by George Saunders, Lorrie Moore, Elizabeth Stuckey-French and Daniel Orozco are world-beaters, but much of the rest of this collection is really disappointing. Some all but ignore their chosen structure to tell their story (more often than not, about an unhappy love life or a marriage falling apart - the original style doesn't often reflect original substance), some are unsurprising epistolary stories (a genre that the introduction and further reading list seems to think was invented in the 1990s), and some feel very much like MFA writing class exercises designed to be written rather than read.
February 13, 2020
The most moving piece is McLeod's National Treasures which is a galloping biography (possibly) of some heartbreaking and sometimes darkly humorous episodes. .ost of the other 40 bits while often entertaining share a rather cutesy motif that begins to rankle like a basic blues pattern that just repeats over and over. Despite some playful formatting the exercise gets a touch tiresome. But I have enjoyed other of Shields' works.
May 22, 2021
2.5/5. Any anthology is a mixed bag, and there are a handful of essays I’ve bookmarked (always love Kevin Wilson’s Laconic Method short story). I’m just not sure that, overall, this hermit crab style lends itself as well to fiction as it does for creative nonfiction. There were many pieces that felt hollow and pretentious to me, and I ended up skipping a number of the pieces after a few paragraphs.
August 16, 2023
So I read this years ago because one of my gf's favorite professors is in it, and listen, the whole book is good but "from some instructions to my wife concerning the upkeep of the house and marriage, and to my son and daughter concerning the conduct of their childhood" plays in my head ALL THE TIME, audio-book style.
I read this book five years ago and I don't even remember the name of the street I grew up on how do I still remember this
I read this book five years ago and I don't even remember the name of the street I grew up on how do I still remember this
February 6, 2022
Some of these are really fun. There are, though, a lot of uses of forms which are turned towards a more standard short-story format, rather than having their own form explored. The former become tiresome.
February 26, 2023
Some of the entries were tedious.
November 30, 2012
From an interview I did, for the Tottenville Review, with Matthew Volmer:
Matthew Vollmer is the author of two short story collections: the critically lauded Future Missionaries of America, a beautifully crafted sampling of spiritual longing and religious legacies amidst the lives of contemporary Americans, and, still fresh from the presses, Inscriptions for Headstones, an ambitious, poetic, and really quite singular work. There’s nothing else like it in the world. Close on the heels of his latest, Vollmer has co-edited with David Shields FAKES: An Anthology of Pseudo-Interviews, Faux-Lectures, Quasi-Letters, “Found� Texts, and Other Fraudulent Artifacts. Given that Inscriptions is actually comprised of thirty “epitaphs,� Vollmer seems especially interested in notions of authenticity, and, dare I say, Truth. I saw him read at powerHouse Books recently where, among other things, we talked (and then talked more over email) about Truth, Fakes, and fraudulence in fiction, plus his time spent at the Iowa Writers Workshop. And I must say Vollmer strikes me one of the most dynamic and sincere conversationalists I’ve met in some time. He means every last word.
SCOTT CHESHIRE
There’s something I find especially present about your stories, or perhaps I mean of the characters� lives in these stories, and so one can’t use the story as a model for a character’s behavior and telegraph any sort of future like a boxer would a punch. Does that make sense?
MATTHEW VOLLMER
I think the thing that you seem to be responding to in a positive way is the exact thing that many readers resent in contemporary fiction: ambiguity. If I were to make a generalization about humanity, and about the average story-consuming person (whether “story� exists as a poem, play, radio drama, film, or sitcom), it would be that these story-consumers prefer to have things wrapped up neatly. Rarely do people want to be “left hanging.� They want to know exactly “what happened� or have a sense of “what’s going to happen.� In many ways, the desire to consume and live out in our lives a coherent narrative is at the core of who we are, of who we strive to become. But in literary fiction, or in stories that attempt to capture what “reality� looks like, authors often seem to care less about wrapping things up neatly, because so often in life, that’s not how it works...
Matthew Vollmer is the author of two short story collections: the critically lauded Future Missionaries of America, a beautifully crafted sampling of spiritual longing and religious legacies amidst the lives of contemporary Americans, and, still fresh from the presses, Inscriptions for Headstones, an ambitious, poetic, and really quite singular work. There’s nothing else like it in the world. Close on the heels of his latest, Vollmer has co-edited with David Shields FAKES: An Anthology of Pseudo-Interviews, Faux-Lectures, Quasi-Letters, “Found� Texts, and Other Fraudulent Artifacts. Given that Inscriptions is actually comprised of thirty “epitaphs,� Vollmer seems especially interested in notions of authenticity, and, dare I say, Truth. I saw him read at powerHouse Books recently where, among other things, we talked (and then talked more over email) about Truth, Fakes, and fraudulence in fiction, plus his time spent at the Iowa Writers Workshop. And I must say Vollmer strikes me one of the most dynamic and sincere conversationalists I’ve met in some time. He means every last word.
SCOTT CHESHIRE
There’s something I find especially present about your stories, or perhaps I mean of the characters� lives in these stories, and so one can’t use the story as a model for a character’s behavior and telegraph any sort of future like a boxer would a punch. Does that make sense?
MATTHEW VOLLMER
I think the thing that you seem to be responding to in a positive way is the exact thing that many readers resent in contemporary fiction: ambiguity. If I were to make a generalization about humanity, and about the average story-consuming person (whether “story� exists as a poem, play, radio drama, film, or sitcom), it would be that these story-consumers prefer to have things wrapped up neatly. Rarely do people want to be “left hanging.� They want to know exactly “what happened� or have a sense of “what’s going to happen.� In many ways, the desire to consume and live out in our lives a coherent narrative is at the core of who we are, of who we strive to become. But in literary fiction, or in stories that attempt to capture what “reality� looks like, authors often seem to care less about wrapping things up neatly, because so often in life, that’s not how it works...
June 2, 2013
This anthology is powered by a fantastic concept that doesn't always work well in the individual stories it features. These stories, written in decidedly non-literary forms (an exhibition catalog, a letter to the parking bureau, an index to a lost biography, a police blotter, a catalog of font types, etc.), are prefaced by a dynamic introductory essay that posits the exploration of the limits and conventions of these forms as a way of investigating what language makes us think (or not think) and how we are manipulated by various unexamined biases of each platform. The point is well-supported in the best and boldest of these stories (Glasser's, Moody's, Hemple's, Ballard's Foer's, Levis's, Wilson's, Stuckey-French's, for example), which, along with providing evidence for the thematic conceit of the anthology through inventive use of form are, simply put, good stories, with an engaging plot, characters you care about and perceptive and unique language. Others (Bachelder's, Roy's, Martin's) are funny, but slight, included because of form only, seemingly. They would be appropriate for the McSweeney's website, but not for an anthology such as this, which should be praised for its ambition, purpose and vision, even if it fails, like many anthologies, the consistency test.
November 9, 2021
A wonderfully expansive anthology of the hermit crab form.
Favourites, in order of which they appear:
"Disclaimer" by David Means
"I CAN SPEAK(TM)" by George Saunders
"One Thousand Words on Why You Should Not Talk During a Fire Drill" by Mark Holliday
"Permission Slip" by Caron A. Levis
"How to Become a Writer" by Lorrie Moore
"THE DEAD SISTER HANDBOOK: A Guide for Sensitive Boys (Laconic Method to Near Misses)" by Kevin Wilson
"Interview with a Moron" by Elizabeth Stuckey-French
"This Is Just To Say That I'm Tired of Sharing an Apartment with William Carlos Williams" by Laura Jayne Martin
"MY BEARD, REVIEWED" by Chris Bachelder
"Vis a Vis Love" by Mieke Eerkens
"OUR SPRING CATALOG" by Jack Pendarvis
"Reply All" by Robin Hemley
"THE HUMAN SIDE OF INSTRUMENTAL TRANSCOMMUNICATION" by Wendy Brenner
"National Treasures" by Charles Mcleod
"Discarded Notions" by Matthew Williamson
"Star Lake Letters" by Arda Collins
"Instructions for Extinction" by Melanie Rae Thon
"Will & Testament" by Matthew Vollmer
"Letter to a Funeral Parlor" by Lydia Davis
"The Year's Best Fiction 2008: The Authors Speak" by J. Robert Lennon
"About the Typefaces Not Used in This Edition" by Jonathan Safran Foer
Favourites, in order of which they appear:
"Disclaimer" by David Means
"I CAN SPEAK(TM)" by George Saunders
"One Thousand Words on Why You Should Not Talk During a Fire Drill" by Mark Holliday
"Permission Slip" by Caron A. Levis
"How to Become a Writer" by Lorrie Moore
"THE DEAD SISTER HANDBOOK: A Guide for Sensitive Boys (Laconic Method to Near Misses)" by Kevin Wilson
"Interview with a Moron" by Elizabeth Stuckey-French
"This Is Just To Say That I'm Tired of Sharing an Apartment with William Carlos Williams" by Laura Jayne Martin
"MY BEARD, REVIEWED" by Chris Bachelder
"Vis a Vis Love" by Mieke Eerkens
"OUR SPRING CATALOG" by Jack Pendarvis
"Reply All" by Robin Hemley
"THE HUMAN SIDE OF INSTRUMENTAL TRANSCOMMUNICATION" by Wendy Brenner
"National Treasures" by Charles Mcleod
"Discarded Notions" by Matthew Williamson
"Star Lake Letters" by Arda Collins
"Instructions for Extinction" by Melanie Rae Thon
"Will & Testament" by Matthew Vollmer
"Letter to a Funeral Parlor" by Lydia Davis
"The Year's Best Fiction 2008: The Authors Speak" by J. Robert Lennon
"About the Typefaces Not Used in This Edition" by Jonathan Safran Foer
November 27, 2012
Disclaimer: I won this book in a Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ giveaway.
I started off really intrigued by the format alone - it's an anthology of fake texts made up of a large variety of mediums, so it reads like a crime novel or something.
As for the writing, some of the stories were good and some meh. "Officer's Weep" was fantastic, as was "About the Typefaces Not Used in This Edition," which I would have read based on the name alone, in all honesty. If you're debating purchasing the book I might suggest looking for those stories on their own part, rather than buying the whole book, as a lot of the stories didn't really draw me in and felt a little bit ridiculous.
Overall, though, an interesting read especially if you're interested in creative writing and alternative formats for story anthologies.
I started off really intrigued by the format alone - it's an anthology of fake texts made up of a large variety of mediums, so it reads like a crime novel or something.
As for the writing, some of the stories were good and some meh. "Officer's Weep" was fantastic, as was "About the Typefaces Not Used in This Edition," which I would have read based on the name alone, in all honesty. If you're debating purchasing the book I might suggest looking for those stories on their own part, rather than buying the whole book, as a lot of the stories didn't really draw me in and felt a little bit ridiculous.
Overall, though, an interesting read especially if you're interested in creative writing and alternative formats for story anthologies.
November 29, 2015
I really enjoyed this because of the imaginative range it had, yet still solidly tied together as a premise. The last couple of collections I've read (Pen Awards/O Henry being the worst offender) suffered from the curators putting style first over voice, so every story, even if written by female Chinese immigrant about her experiences or rich old white dude about his, sounded exactly the same, and was super boring.
That said, I was cautious going in about it being about experimenting with narrative form, which can quickly turn into something I don't enjoy, but there was only a single story that this bothered me in. The rest I really liked what they did with it.
Lastly,the opening essay in the book that sets it all up is a brilliant introduction, and made me enjoy all the stories even more.
That said, I was cautious going in about it being about experimenting with narrative form, which can quickly turn into something I don't enjoy, but there was only a single story that this bothered me in. The rest I really liked what they did with it.
Lastly,the opening essay in the book that sets it all up is a brilliant introduction, and made me enjoy all the stories even more.
June 17, 2013
As with most short story collections, some of the stories were great, and others were less compelling than I hoped. I'm lazy and don't feel like reviewing the stories individually, so I'm just going to include a list of the ones I especially enjoyed. (I may return in the future and briefly comment on the stories or something, but I really don't like writing reviews all that much so ehhhhhhhhhhhhh probably not.)
"Disclaimer"
"One Thousand Words on Why You Should Not Talk During a Fire Drill"
"Permission Slip"
"The Dead Sister Handbook: A Guide for Sensitive Boys (Laconic Method to Near Misses)"
"Interview with a Moron"
"The Varieties of Romantic Experience: An Introduction"
"Reply All"
"Chaucer Tweets the South by Southwest Festival"
"Discarded Notions"
"Will & Testament"
"Disclaimer"
"One Thousand Words on Why You Should Not Talk During a Fire Drill"
"Permission Slip"
"The Dead Sister Handbook: A Guide for Sensitive Boys (Laconic Method to Near Misses)"
"Interview with a Moron"
"The Varieties of Romantic Experience: An Introduction"
"Reply All"
"Chaucer Tweets the South by Southwest Festival"
"Discarded Notions"
"Will & Testament"
June 3, 2014
This seems to me a collection ahead of its time. With the growing popularity of so-called found texts, this anthology serves to both entertain and teach how to craft short stories in a non-traditional form. An interesting thought for instructors using this text: after students complete a reading from this anthology, ask them, is this a story? The question will encourage students to consider the working definition of what a story is. Consequently, students may feel more capable of playing around with those definitions. Casual readers, I also recommend this anthology for you. There are plenty of laughs in this book.
October 24, 2012
I won this book in a first-reads giveaway.
This is an anthology of fake texts that take the form of letters, contracts, glossaries, police blotters, etc. Generally, you could call these texts short stories, with the authors playing around with various formats or mediums in which to tell the story. Most of the stories are funny and enjoyable; if you liked you'll probably like Fakes.
This is an anthology of fake texts that take the form of letters, contracts, glossaries, police blotters, etc. Generally, you could call these texts short stories, with the authors playing around with various formats or mediums in which to tell the story. Most of the stories are funny and enjoyable; if you liked you'll probably like Fakes.
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