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Ask Not: The Kennedys and the Women They Destroyed
ŷ Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite History & Biography (2024)FromNew York Timesbestseller Maureen Callahan, a fierce, character-driven exposé of the real Kennedy Curse—the family’s generations-long legacy of misogyny, murder, and mayhem—and the women who have paid the price for our obsession with Camelot
The Kennedy name has long been synonymous with wealth, power, glamor, and—above all else—integrity. But this carefully constructed veneer hides a dark truth: the pattern of Kennedy men physically and psychologically abusing women and girls, leaving a trail of ruin and death in each generation’s wake. Through decades of scandal after scandal—from sexual assaults to reputational slander, suicides to manslaughter—the family and their defenders have kept the Kennedy brand intact.
Now, in Ask Not, bestselling author and journalist Maureen Callahan reveals the Kennedys� hidden history of violence and exploitation, laying bare their unrepentant sexism and rampant depravity while also restoring these women and girls to their rightful place at the center of the dynasty’s story: from Jacqueline Onassis and Marilyn Monroe to Carolyn Bessette, Martha Moxley, Mary Jo Kopechne, Rosemary Kennedy, and many others whose names aren’t nearly as well known but should be.
Drawing on years of explosive reportage and written in electric prose, Ask Not is a long-overdue reckoning with this fabled family and a consequential part of American history that is still very much with us. At long last Callahan redirects the spotlight to the women in the Kennedys� orbit, paying homage to those who freed themselves and giving voice to those who, through no fault of their own, could not.
The Kennedy name has long been synonymous with wealth, power, glamor, and—above all else—integrity. But this carefully constructed veneer hides a dark truth: the pattern of Kennedy men physically and psychologically abusing women and girls, leaving a trail of ruin and death in each generation’s wake. Through decades of scandal after scandal—from sexual assaults to reputational slander, suicides to manslaughter—the family and their defenders have kept the Kennedy brand intact.
Now, in Ask Not, bestselling author and journalist Maureen Callahan reveals the Kennedys� hidden history of violence and exploitation, laying bare their unrepentant sexism and rampant depravity while also restoring these women and girls to their rightful place at the center of the dynasty’s story: from Jacqueline Onassis and Marilyn Monroe to Carolyn Bessette, Martha Moxley, Mary Jo Kopechne, Rosemary Kennedy, and many others whose names aren’t nearly as well known but should be.
Drawing on years of explosive reportage and written in electric prose, Ask Not is a long-overdue reckoning with this fabled family and a consequential part of American history that is still very much with us. At long last Callahan redirects the spotlight to the women in the Kennedys� orbit, paying homage to those who freed themselves and giving voice to those who, through no fault of their own, could not.
400 pages, Hardcover
First published July 2, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,029 reviews
June 28, 2024
If JFK wasn't already dead, Maureen Callahan might have killed him with this book. Do I mean metaphorically, like he would have a heart attack? Or do I mean literally, in that she might have bludgeoned him with a copy of Ask Not to avenge all the women destroyed by the Kennedy clan? Honestly, I don't know, but if you read the book, you probably won't be troubled by either possibility.
Ask Not is not a book interested in the positive aspects of the Kennedys. No, Callahan is here to document (exquisitely, I might add) every known woman who was used, discarded, and then destroyed when they became inconvenient. Sorry, I know "destroyed" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. It can mean killed, lobotomized, left to die in a car underwater, called a druggie/prostitute, driven to overdose/suicide, or just ignored. The "lucky" ones just stay in loveless marriages, and they were all loveless marriages.
I know that Maureen Callahan writes for newspapers which could be considered "right-wing" and that this book may be painted as a salacious hit piece on a prominent Democratic family. (For the record, Callahan also wrote the widely praised American Predator which I highly recommend.) Callahan tells the reader what her agenda is and she then fulfills that promise. Yes, the author spends 300 pages lambasting the Kennedys, but she is not doing it for political purposes. She is doing it to give a voice to the women who were shunted aside by the Kennedys and their enablers for decades. In fact, feel free to check the extensive list of sources Callahan provides if you think she is trying to pull a fast one. Callahan doesn't need to stretch the truth to make her argument. After all, when the patriarch of the family is willing to lobotomize his own inconvenient daughter, how much do you need to make up?
Something else I feel the need to highlight is that there is no discussion of politics in this book. None. Additionally, there is a well-known Republican who is lumped in as in the same class as the Kennedys. This is not a political book. It is definitely a true crime book, though.
(This book was provided as a review copy by the publisher.)
Ask Not is not a book interested in the positive aspects of the Kennedys. No, Callahan is here to document (exquisitely, I might add) every known woman who was used, discarded, and then destroyed when they became inconvenient. Sorry, I know "destroyed" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. It can mean killed, lobotomized, left to die in a car underwater, called a druggie/prostitute, driven to overdose/suicide, or just ignored. The "lucky" ones just stay in loveless marriages, and they were all loveless marriages.
I know that Maureen Callahan writes for newspapers which could be considered "right-wing" and that this book may be painted as a salacious hit piece on a prominent Democratic family. (For the record, Callahan also wrote the widely praised American Predator which I highly recommend.) Callahan tells the reader what her agenda is and she then fulfills that promise. Yes, the author spends 300 pages lambasting the Kennedys, but she is not doing it for political purposes. She is doing it to give a voice to the women who were shunted aside by the Kennedys and their enablers for decades. In fact, feel free to check the extensive list of sources Callahan provides if you think she is trying to pull a fast one. Callahan doesn't need to stretch the truth to make her argument. After all, when the patriarch of the family is willing to lobotomize his own inconvenient daughter, how much do you need to make up?
Something else I feel the need to highlight is that there is no discussion of politics in this book. None. Additionally, there is a well-known Republican who is lumped in as in the same class as the Kennedys. This is not a political book. It is definitely a true crime book, though.
(This book was provided as a review copy by the publisher.)
July 5, 2024
I don't know if the situations presented were true or not. I can't get past the author's comment in the preface that she took "creative license" in some situations. Which situations? It completely overshadowed my ability to take any allegation seriously and therefore felt like a poor use of my time.
July 4, 2024
In desperate need of an editor. For example, Callahan asserts that RFK Jr., born in 1954, was 9 when his father was murdered in 1968. Joe II paralyzed Pamela Kelly in 1973 but 1980 was two years after the accident. Jackie O. remarried in 1968 but her fourth wedding anniversary was in 1973. Rose Kennedy outlived four children not three as the author writes at the end of the book. Callahan makes a lot of wild claims none of which are footnoted. She retells interior monologues of which she could have no knowledge. The writing is not engaging, and the reporting seems to be just an amalgamation of secondary sources.
August 3, 2024
Oh boy. As a professional historian who has done quite a bit of research on the Kennedys, I felt obligated to read this book.
I’ll start by saying that the very first thing anyone with a history PhD does when they first crack open a book is look at the sources� and the second I did that, red flags burst into the air. The vast majority of information in this book comes from secondary literature—and within this group there is tremendous variation in the caliber/rigor of research and authorship. Apparently full notes that accompany each chapter can be found on the author’s website, but as of writing this review, Ask Not is nowhere to be found on maureencallahan.net� Be wary of any non-fiction book that claims to take artistic license/liberty on literally anything. This book is packed with unsubstantiated dialogue and weird/shocking details that are treated as recorded fact. These women’s stories are powerful enough to speak for themselves—sensational embellishments that can’t be verified are simply irresponsible and unnecessary. They cheapen the traumas and tragedies that these women experienced.
I do think there is certainly something powerful about putting these women’s stories together in a kind of anthology, but this wasn’t it.
I’ll start by saying that the very first thing anyone with a history PhD does when they first crack open a book is look at the sources� and the second I did that, red flags burst into the air. The vast majority of information in this book comes from secondary literature—and within this group there is tremendous variation in the caliber/rigor of research and authorship. Apparently full notes that accompany each chapter can be found on the author’s website, but as of writing this review, Ask Not is nowhere to be found on maureencallahan.net� Be wary of any non-fiction book that claims to take artistic license/liberty on literally anything. This book is packed with unsubstantiated dialogue and weird/shocking details that are treated as recorded fact. These women’s stories are powerful enough to speak for themselves—sensational embellishments that can’t be verified are simply irresponsible and unnecessary. They cheapen the traumas and tragedies that these women experienced.
I do think there is certainly something powerful about putting these women’s stories together in a kind of anthology, but this wasn’t it.
June 25, 2024
This was an interesting and informative offering regarding the Kennedy men and how they've mistreated their women throughout history. Some of the women who were the collateral damage in their lives were:
Jackie Kennedy
Joan Kennedy
Rosemary Kennedy
Mary Richardson Kennedy
Carolyn Bessette Kennedy
Mary Jo Kopechne
Kick Kennedy
Marilyn Monroe
Martha Moxley
Pamela Kelley
Christina Haag
There are mostly accounts of serial cheating, but other moral lapses include rape, sex with minors, murder, leaving a young woman to drown, causing a young woman to be permanently paralyzed, driving someone to suicide, putting women in reckless, dangerous situations, arranging a lobotomy, and mental cruelty. Rarely was there any serious accountability. I heard a lot of these stories before, but this author really fleshed out these cases in detail. I often see her articles in The Daily Mail Online app, and this book has been heavily serialized there prior to its imminent release. This was a sobering and well-written read.
Thank you to the publisher Little, Brown and Company who provided an advance reader copy via NetGalley.
Jackie Kennedy
Joan Kennedy
Rosemary Kennedy
Mary Richardson Kennedy
Carolyn Bessette Kennedy
Mary Jo Kopechne
Kick Kennedy
Marilyn Monroe
Martha Moxley
Pamela Kelley
Christina Haag
There are mostly accounts of serial cheating, but other moral lapses include rape, sex with minors, murder, leaving a young woman to drown, causing a young woman to be permanently paralyzed, driving someone to suicide, putting women in reckless, dangerous situations, arranging a lobotomy, and mental cruelty. Rarely was there any serious accountability. I heard a lot of these stories before, but this author really fleshed out these cases in detail. I often see her articles in The Daily Mail Online app, and this book has been heavily serialized there prior to its imminent release. This was a sobering and well-written read.
Thank you to the publisher Little, Brown and Company who provided an advance reader copy via NetGalley.
July 9, 2024
ARC for review. To be published July 2, 2024.
To the surprise of, wait�.show of hands? Hands? No one, the men of clan Kennedy physically, psychologically and emotionally destroy women. This book covers thirteen of them, Jackie Kennedy Onassis, Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, Mimi Beardsley, Diana deVegh, Marilyn Monroe, Mary Richardson Kennedy, Kick Kennedy, Mary Jo Kopechne, Joan Kennedy, , Pamela Kelley, Martha Moxley, Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy and Rosemary Kennedy.
First off, is anyone asking RFK, Jr,, current candidate for President hard questions about his first wife, Mary Richardson Kennedy? She committed suicide after he cut her off financially and told her she would be better off dead. This delightful charmer also tried to blame two inner city youths, one Black, one brown for the killing of Martha Moxley. Great guy, that RFK, Jr.
And in an effort to keep the Kennedy name clean (um, yeah. About that�) the Kennedy women have become complicit. Caroline Kennedy and Maria Shriver were instrumental in having a miniseries about the family blocked.
“Kennedy men tended to treat their women as afterthoughts.� They all seem to have “that male Kennedy entitlement that their wives should be mind readers, hostesses who could throw together a dinner for twelve at the last minute, the uncomplaining Cool Girl.�
The book shows, over and over again, how the women are either told explicitly or made to think that they know what they are getting with a Kennedy man, and, therefore, deserve the way in which they are treated. The mere idea of being with a Kennedy man makes up for it. It really makes you want to vomit.
Oh, and you’ll come out hating Diane Sawyer, too.
To the surprise of, wait�.show of hands? Hands? No one, the men of clan Kennedy physically, psychologically and emotionally destroy women. This book covers thirteen of them, Jackie Kennedy Onassis, Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, Mimi Beardsley, Diana deVegh, Marilyn Monroe, Mary Richardson Kennedy, Kick Kennedy, Mary Jo Kopechne, Joan Kennedy, , Pamela Kelley, Martha Moxley, Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy and Rosemary Kennedy.
First off, is anyone asking RFK, Jr,, current candidate for President hard questions about his first wife, Mary Richardson Kennedy? She committed suicide after he cut her off financially and told her she would be better off dead. This delightful charmer also tried to blame two inner city youths, one Black, one brown for the killing of Martha Moxley. Great guy, that RFK, Jr.
And in an effort to keep the Kennedy name clean (um, yeah. About that�) the Kennedy women have become complicit. Caroline Kennedy and Maria Shriver were instrumental in having a miniseries about the family blocked.
“Kennedy men tended to treat their women as afterthoughts.� They all seem to have “that male Kennedy entitlement that their wives should be mind readers, hostesses who could throw together a dinner for twelve at the last minute, the uncomplaining Cool Girl.�
The book shows, over and over again, how the women are either told explicitly or made to think that they know what they are getting with a Kennedy man, and, therefore, deserve the way in which they are treated. The mere idea of being with a Kennedy man makes up for it. It really makes you want to vomit.
Oh, and you’ll come out hating Diane Sawyer, too.
August 15, 2024
4.5 Stars
Books about messy, corrupt rich people especially The Kennedys is my hyper fixation...it's my kink. And Ask Not feeds that salacious part of my brain and so for that part I'd give it 5 stars. I also support calling out the bad/ criminal behavior of the rich and powerful so if I had to rate it on that level another 5 stars...
But...if I'm going to review this book based on the authors thesis which is bad man = bad politics than I need to dig deeper. Maureen Callahan is a great writer, I loved her earlier book American Predator and I could not wait to read this book. I think that Maureen's point of view is a fairly common one and I don't always disagree. I agree with her that JFK was a bad president and a bad person. I think the best thing JFK ever did for this country and for Black people was get his brains blown out. His death enabled LBJ( a known racist and sexual predator) to bully Southern Democrats into voting for The Civil Rights bill and The Voting Rights bill. But as with LBJ being a bad person doesn't make for a bad president.
This is part of the reason I've been slowly reading my way through every US President. I want to view things not through a current lens but see how History has shaped things.
Can you be a great person and a great President?
Jimmy Carter is universally thought of as a fantastic human being but his presidency isn't thought of as successful. For many decades, Ulysses S Grant's alcoholism tainted his legacy but in more recent times historians have reevaluated his presidency and he's now thought of quite nicely. Ronald Reagan was an awful person and depending on who you ask he was either one of the greatest presidents or he's one of the worst( he's the WORST).
So getting back to Ask Not, the author uses the Kennedys to reflect on men in power overall. I mostly agree with her conclusions but I also have many disagreements. She considers Edward (Ted) Kennedy to be a horrible Senator because he was a horrible person....he did kill a woman after all...but I would say that he did more good for more Americans than most Senators ever do. The Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) may have lots of problems but millions of people currently have health insurance and are alive because of it. Ted Kennedy was instrumental in it's passage. He was trying to get Healthcare legislation passed for longer than I have been alive.
So was Ted Kennedy a horrible person?
Yes!
Was he one of the greatest legislators in US history?
Yes!
What are we to do with this predicament?
I don't know.
Overall this is a really good read. I was thinking about this book even when I was reading other books. My disagreements with her thesis only made me enjoy this book more. I do wish she had spent less time on people like Jackie Kennedy and more time on actual victims of the Kennedy family like the women who were left paralyzed, raped, murdered or driven to the edge of sanity. I just don't think being married to a serial cheater is the same as being beating to death with golf club.
I highly recommend this book and the authors last book American Predator. I think Maureen Callahan maybe an auto buy author for me.
Books about messy, corrupt rich people especially The Kennedys is my hyper fixation...it's my kink. And Ask Not feeds that salacious part of my brain and so for that part I'd give it 5 stars. I also support calling out the bad/ criminal behavior of the rich and powerful so if I had to rate it on that level another 5 stars...
But...if I'm going to review this book based on the authors thesis which is bad man = bad politics than I need to dig deeper. Maureen Callahan is a great writer, I loved her earlier book American Predator and I could not wait to read this book. I think that Maureen's point of view is a fairly common one and I don't always disagree. I agree with her that JFK was a bad president and a bad person. I think the best thing JFK ever did for this country and for Black people was get his brains blown out. His death enabled LBJ( a known racist and sexual predator) to bully Southern Democrats into voting for The Civil Rights bill and The Voting Rights bill. But as with LBJ being a bad person doesn't make for a bad president.
This is part of the reason I've been slowly reading my way through every US President. I want to view things not through a current lens but see how History has shaped things.
Can you be a great person and a great President?
Jimmy Carter is universally thought of as a fantastic human being but his presidency isn't thought of as successful. For many decades, Ulysses S Grant's alcoholism tainted his legacy but in more recent times historians have reevaluated his presidency and he's now thought of quite nicely. Ronald Reagan was an awful person and depending on who you ask he was either one of the greatest presidents or he's one of the worst( he's the WORST).
So getting back to Ask Not, the author uses the Kennedys to reflect on men in power overall. I mostly agree with her conclusions but I also have many disagreements. She considers Edward (Ted) Kennedy to be a horrible Senator because he was a horrible person....he did kill a woman after all...but I would say that he did more good for more Americans than most Senators ever do. The Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) may have lots of problems but millions of people currently have health insurance and are alive because of it. Ted Kennedy was instrumental in it's passage. He was trying to get Healthcare legislation passed for longer than I have been alive.
So was Ted Kennedy a horrible person?
Yes!
Was he one of the greatest legislators in US history?
Yes!
What are we to do with this predicament?
I don't know.
Overall this is a really good read. I was thinking about this book even when I was reading other books. My disagreements with her thesis only made me enjoy this book more. I do wish she had spent less time on people like Jackie Kennedy and more time on actual victims of the Kennedy family like the women who were left paralyzed, raped, murdered or driven to the edge of sanity. I just don't think being married to a serial cheater is the same as being beating to death with golf club.
I highly recommend this book and the authors last book American Predator. I think Maureen Callahan maybe an auto buy author for me.
July 21, 2024
Warning: I'm going to use some foul language in this review
I cannot remember the last time a book made me this viscerally angry. The Kennedy men are vile, disgusting, lecherous, careless monsters. What's worse than them acting out of malice or hatred, they seem to simply not care in the slightest who gets hurt in their pursuit of power, fame, and endless sex with women who don't want them. Their wives suicidal over their affairs? Not their problem. Their female staffers living in fear of their moods? Who cares. Women lobotomized, murdered, left for dead to suffocate in her own air for an hour? Why should a Kennedy man worry his pretty little head about it.
I couldn't get past the image of Ted Kennedy after Mary Jo Kopechne was left to die a horrible death. He didn't call the police, didn't call for help, and despite all his claims about being shocked and distraught, the next morning he was clean shaven and showered, and he had complained about noisy neighbors disturbing his sleep. Mary Jo Kopechne, suffocating in the car he crashed, wasn't keeping him awake it seemed.
The ongoing motif of this book is how every woman in the Kennedy's path of destruction was bright, beautiful, unique, and full of potential. These were women with dreams, and they all saw them squashed under the Kennedy machine. And they were destroyed by more than just the individual men and their decisions, but also by a willing crowd of bought-and-paid-for men of standing in their social set who ensured that the world these women lived in wouldn't have them unless they implicitly obey. All of the teenage girls that JFK passed around like bottles of beer were witnessed by scores of men, none of whom cared enough about the indignity of it to even turn down their sexual favors, much less mention them and possibly besmirch the picture perfect name of Kennedy. The American public has been just as willing. Many readers might have wrinkled their nose at the crude way Aristotle Onassis described himself: "people know three things about me: I'm fucking Jacqueline Kennedy, I'm fucking Maria Callas, and I'm fucking rich." How vulgar, we think, but was JFK much different? Ask anybody in America, and we know he was having an affair with Marilyn Monroe. Did anyone care? Did anyone think of Jackie? He continues to be listed among the greatest of American presidents, and it's not even a secret that his mistresses numbered in dozens, and dozens.
But the depravity goes beyond the mistresses. The beatings, the rapes, the belittling, the MURDERS, and the culture created by the Kennedy's has one job: to control their women. Throughout so many of these stories, one wonders, WHY do these women marry them? But the answer is there; what else were they supposed to do with all that ambition? These were women who wanted to be important, prominent, seen, and they couldn't run for office themselves. Instead, they could marry well. And see their lives ruined.
The only optimistic story out of all this is Jacqueline Bouvier Onassis herself. She's the silhouette of the modern age, and the REAL legacy of this family. She lived to see the dawn of a more modern age, in which she, unlike the others, got to find her own career, have her own home, live her own life. She finally got the time away from this devilish clan to admit that, in a modern world, she would have left Jack Kennedy. The image of her walking through a New York City crowd on her way to work, no husband, full of dignity, walking past a museum that enshrined her misery as American history, gave me a vindication I'm going to hold on to.
Everyone should read this book then spit on their graves.
I cannot remember the last time a book made me this viscerally angry. The Kennedy men are vile, disgusting, lecherous, careless monsters. What's worse than them acting out of malice or hatred, they seem to simply not care in the slightest who gets hurt in their pursuit of power, fame, and endless sex with women who don't want them. Their wives suicidal over their affairs? Not their problem. Their female staffers living in fear of their moods? Who cares. Women lobotomized, murdered, left for dead to suffocate in her own air for an hour? Why should a Kennedy man worry his pretty little head about it.
I couldn't get past the image of Ted Kennedy after Mary Jo Kopechne was left to die a horrible death. He didn't call the police, didn't call for help, and despite all his claims about being shocked and distraught, the next morning he was clean shaven and showered, and he had complained about noisy neighbors disturbing his sleep. Mary Jo Kopechne, suffocating in the car he crashed, wasn't keeping him awake it seemed.
The ongoing motif of this book is how every woman in the Kennedy's path of destruction was bright, beautiful, unique, and full of potential. These were women with dreams, and they all saw them squashed under the Kennedy machine. And they were destroyed by more than just the individual men and their decisions, but also by a willing crowd of bought-and-paid-for men of standing in their social set who ensured that the world these women lived in wouldn't have them unless they implicitly obey. All of the teenage girls that JFK passed around like bottles of beer were witnessed by scores of men, none of whom cared enough about the indignity of it to even turn down their sexual favors, much less mention them and possibly besmirch the picture perfect name of Kennedy. The American public has been just as willing. Many readers might have wrinkled their nose at the crude way Aristotle Onassis described himself: "people know three things about me: I'm fucking Jacqueline Kennedy, I'm fucking Maria Callas, and I'm fucking rich." How vulgar, we think, but was JFK much different? Ask anybody in America, and we know he was having an affair with Marilyn Monroe. Did anyone care? Did anyone think of Jackie? He continues to be listed among the greatest of American presidents, and it's not even a secret that his mistresses numbered in dozens, and dozens.
But the depravity goes beyond the mistresses. The beatings, the rapes, the belittling, the MURDERS, and the culture created by the Kennedy's has one job: to control their women. Throughout so many of these stories, one wonders, WHY do these women marry them? But the answer is there; what else were they supposed to do with all that ambition? These were women who wanted to be important, prominent, seen, and they couldn't run for office themselves. Instead, they could marry well. And see their lives ruined.
The only optimistic story out of all this is Jacqueline Bouvier Onassis herself. She's the silhouette of the modern age, and the REAL legacy of this family. She lived to see the dawn of a more modern age, in which she, unlike the others, got to find her own career, have her own home, live her own life. She finally got the time away from this devilish clan to admit that, in a modern world, she would have left Jack Kennedy. The image of her walking through a New York City crowd on her way to work, no husband, full of dignity, walking past a museum that enshrined her misery as American history, gave me a vindication I'm going to hold on to.
Everyone should read this book then spit on their graves.
December 8, 2024
I have long had a fascination with the Kennedys, but I hold no illusions about them. I can recognize that they did great things, suffered great tragedies and also engaged in reprehensible behavior. So when I saw that Maureen Callahan, author of American Predator, had a new book coming out about them, I rushed to procure a copy. I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning to finish it and here are my complicated feelings.
I know the Kennedy men have a toxic streak that started with the patriarch Joe Kennedy and has carried down through the generations. Add to that money and power and it becomes a lethal weapon and many, if not most, of the women in their orbit have been damaged. This book doesn’t tread new ground, I have heard all of this before. The womanizing and never ending affairs. Joe Kennedy’s secret lobotomy of his eldest daughter that left her severely brain damaged. Jack and Bobby’s possible involvement in Marilyn Monroe’s death. Chappaquiddick. JFK Jr’s reckless behavior that caused his plane to crash killing not only himself but his wife and sister-in-law. RFK’s Jr’s womanizing, drug addiction and cruel treatment of his second wife, which ultimately ended in her suicide. I knew all of this, but when combined and read all at once it became overwhelming, infuriating and saddening.
And as I continued reading this book last night, I realized I had a few problems with it. First, it had a meanness about it. The author almost seemed to relish and delight in telling about these events. And I was under the assumption that the book was supposed to be about liberating the women from their abuse by exposing it. Yet, the author seemed to be intent on painting many of the women (victims)in as poor a light as possible. Yes, people are complicated and multi-faceted, but this felt cruel and unnecessary. It all ended up coming across a bit gossipy and I felt a little dirty after reading it. Something about this one rubbed me the wrong way. Still, if you want to read about hubris, entitlement and selfishness taken to the maximum extreme, give this one a read.
Thank you to @netgalley and @littlebrown for this arc in exchange for an honest review.
I know the Kennedy men have a toxic streak that started with the patriarch Joe Kennedy and has carried down through the generations. Add to that money and power and it becomes a lethal weapon and many, if not most, of the women in their orbit have been damaged. This book doesn’t tread new ground, I have heard all of this before. The womanizing and never ending affairs. Joe Kennedy’s secret lobotomy of his eldest daughter that left her severely brain damaged. Jack and Bobby’s possible involvement in Marilyn Monroe’s death. Chappaquiddick. JFK Jr’s reckless behavior that caused his plane to crash killing not only himself but his wife and sister-in-law. RFK’s Jr’s womanizing, drug addiction and cruel treatment of his second wife, which ultimately ended in her suicide. I knew all of this, but when combined and read all at once it became overwhelming, infuriating and saddening.
And as I continued reading this book last night, I realized I had a few problems with it. First, it had a meanness about it. The author almost seemed to relish and delight in telling about these events. And I was under the assumption that the book was supposed to be about liberating the women from their abuse by exposing it. Yet, the author seemed to be intent on painting many of the women (victims)in as poor a light as possible. Yes, people are complicated and multi-faceted, but this felt cruel and unnecessary. It all ended up coming across a bit gossipy and I felt a little dirty after reading it. Something about this one rubbed me the wrong way. Still, if you want to read about hubris, entitlement and selfishness taken to the maximum extreme, give this one a read.
Thank you to @netgalley and @littlebrown for this arc in exchange for an honest review.
July 20, 2024
Well written and researched non-fiction that reads smoothly. Each chapter devoted to one woman, but the chapters overlapped, just as in life.
August 29, 2024
Should be shelved in fiction. And by that I don’t mean that these things didn’t happen. I’m sure they did, or some variation did. And all of it is absolutely horrifying. However, the author’s “creative license� which allowed her to write someone’s dialogue and thoughts and present them as history is shameful at best. Nevermind the inaccuracies and mistakes that weren’t corrected during the editing process.
July 14, 2024
5/5
Man atrodo, supratau kaip dalis LT mato Landsbergių klaną, tik skirtumas tas, kad čia...tiesa. O jei rimtai, labai įdomi, įtraukianti, true crime primenanti knyga, kurioje smulkmeniškai ir su žurnalistine atida išnagrinėtos Kenedžių moterys. Nužudytos, suluošintos, užtildytos, prievartautos, išvestos iš proto, kratytos elektra ir priverstos išgyventi lobotomiją. Čia aptariamos ne tik puikiai žinomos, kaip Monroe ar Jackie, bet ir rečiau paminimos ar visai neaptarinėjamos. Ne kartą klausant ėjo šiurpas ir stojo gumulas gerklėj. Ir visai nereikia išmanyt JAV politiką ar istoriją, kad būtų įdomu. Ir aišku, prie didžiulio siaubo daugeliui prisidės ir tai, kad esmines Kenedžių moteris jie matė per mados, glamūro, grožio ir seksualumo prizmę. Nes gi Jackie mados ikona, Marilyn � sekso simbolis, o kitos, kurių čia dešimtimis, iš viso bevardės, jei apskritai esam apie jas girdėję.
Bet čia išgirstam. Ne tik tai, kas mintinai žinoma, kaip apie JFK seserį, kuriai buvo atlikta lobotomija, nes ji buvo nepatogi (t.y. turėjo mokymosi sunkumų ir galimai raidos sutrikimą), todėl ji buvo suluošinta ir atskirta nuo šeimos ilgiems dešimtmečiams. Išgirstam, kad JFK užkrėtė Jackie krūva STD‘s, todėl ji vis persileidinėdavo ir tik per vėlai sužinojo to priežastis. Sužinom, kad JFK savo žmonos miegamajame išprievartavo 19-metę praktikantę, kuri jo spermą nusiplovė Jackie vonios kambary. Ir kad kol žmona slaugė jį po operacijos, virš JFK galvos kabėjo apverstas Marilyn plakatas. Kad jos tarpkojis būtų jo akių lygy. Bet čia tik gėlytės. Jei norit tikro siaubo, skaitykit visą knygą. Nes visos šios moterys nusipelnė, kad žinotume, kas joms buvo padaryta.
Man atrodo, supratau kaip dalis LT mato Landsbergių klaną, tik skirtumas tas, kad čia...tiesa. O jei rimtai, labai įdomi, įtraukianti, true crime primenanti knyga, kurioje smulkmeniškai ir su žurnalistine atida išnagrinėtos Kenedžių moterys. Nužudytos, suluošintos, užtildytos, prievartautos, išvestos iš proto, kratytos elektra ir priverstos išgyventi lobotomiją. Čia aptariamos ne tik puikiai žinomos, kaip Monroe ar Jackie, bet ir rečiau paminimos ar visai neaptarinėjamos. Ne kartą klausant ėjo šiurpas ir stojo gumulas gerklėj. Ir visai nereikia išmanyt JAV politiką ar istoriją, kad būtų įdomu. Ir aišku, prie didžiulio siaubo daugeliui prisidės ir tai, kad esmines Kenedžių moteris jie matė per mados, glamūro, grožio ir seksualumo prizmę. Nes gi Jackie mados ikona, Marilyn � sekso simbolis, o kitos, kurių čia dešimtimis, iš viso bevardės, jei apskritai esam apie jas girdėję.
Bet čia išgirstam. Ne tik tai, kas mintinai žinoma, kaip apie JFK seserį, kuriai buvo atlikta lobotomija, nes ji buvo nepatogi (t.y. turėjo mokymosi sunkumų ir galimai raidos sutrikimą), todėl ji buvo suluošinta ir atskirta nuo šeimos ilgiems dešimtmečiams. Išgirstam, kad JFK užkrėtė Jackie krūva STD‘s, todėl ji vis persileidinėdavo ir tik per vėlai sužinojo to priežastis. Sužinom, kad JFK savo žmonos miegamajame išprievartavo 19-metę praktikantę, kuri jo spermą nusiplovė Jackie vonios kambary. Ir kad kol žmona slaugė jį po operacijos, virš JFK galvos kabėjo apverstas Marilyn plakatas. Kad jos tarpkojis būtų jo akių lygy. Bet čia tik gėlytės. Jei norit tikro siaubo, skaitykit visą knygą. Nes visos šios moterys nusipelnė, kad žinotume, kas joms buvo padaryta.
September 7, 2024
Ask not what the subjects of your book can do for you, but what you can (should?) do for the subjects of your book�?
In my view, this book is such an important and worthy project, yet marred by an authorial decision to use a degree of “creative license� so incredibly extensive as to lead this book astray into fictional territory and thus vastly undermine its credibility.
The author presents the spoken words, interior monologues and thoughts, emotions, beliefs and cognitions, motivations, etc. of the women portrayed in the book so frequently and in such a highly detailed manner that it feels offensive, presumptuous, appropriating, and even violating. It would be absolutely impossible to surmise the specific, intimate details of what all these different women were saying and thinking and feeling in their private conversations and moments of personal reflection. I’m sorry, but it’s not okay, or necessary, for a “nonfiction� book to inform us what Rosemary Kennedy was thinking as the surgeon hovered over her with his lobotomy toolkit.
Moreover, since all these thoughts/feelings/statements are essentially stuff the author is making up, the end result is that an array of women as different as Marilyn Monroe, Jackie Kennedy, Carolyn Bessette, Et al. all end up having exactly the same voice and sound like exactly the same person (presumably, the author). Unless she’s a gifted oracle somehow channeling their spirits (and it definitely doesn’t sound like this is what’s happening, unfortunately for all) - again, this is neither OK nor needed.
The facts that do appear in this book are plenty shocking and engrossing - stories involving abhorrent Kennedy behavior, especially regarding treatment of women, are aplenty and speak for themselves - so I do not understand why the author felt this degree of embellishment was necessary to draw in the reader. Also, these women and the lives they lived are plenty interesting enough to stand on their own, without the author having to add decorations and accessories! However, I also noticed that where the author had opportunity to delight in grotesque imagined detail, whether of a shooting or a lobotomy or something else, she seemed to revel in doing so. So, it may simply be that the author’s style runs more toward a tabloid type of “journalism� that - although I’ll say she is pretty good at it! - just isn’t my cup of tea. For my history, I’d prefer National Geographic or The Economist to People, much less The Daily Mail.
I’ve read other GR reviews of other books over the years where the review writer criticized a book for “reporting� fabricated content including things like conversational dialogue that was neither witnessed nor recorded and could not have been known. However, I’ve never read an ostensibly nonfiction book that committed this offense in such an exaggerated, over-the-top way as this one does, and I just couldn’t get past it. I even kept checking to see if it was actually meant to be nonfiction or if I’d made a mistake. I’m very sad that this stylistic choice and inclusion of fictional content both distracts from and undermines the veracity of the valuable information in the book and ultimately disrespects the compelling and poignant stories of the women whose lives it covers.
In my view, this book is such an important and worthy project, yet marred by an authorial decision to use a degree of “creative license� so incredibly extensive as to lead this book astray into fictional territory and thus vastly undermine its credibility.
The author presents the spoken words, interior monologues and thoughts, emotions, beliefs and cognitions, motivations, etc. of the women portrayed in the book so frequently and in such a highly detailed manner that it feels offensive, presumptuous, appropriating, and even violating. It would be absolutely impossible to surmise the specific, intimate details of what all these different women were saying and thinking and feeling in their private conversations and moments of personal reflection. I’m sorry, but it’s not okay, or necessary, for a “nonfiction� book to inform us what Rosemary Kennedy was thinking as the surgeon hovered over her with his lobotomy toolkit.
Moreover, since all these thoughts/feelings/statements are essentially stuff the author is making up, the end result is that an array of women as different as Marilyn Monroe, Jackie Kennedy, Carolyn Bessette, Et al. all end up having exactly the same voice and sound like exactly the same person (presumably, the author). Unless she’s a gifted oracle somehow channeling their spirits (and it definitely doesn’t sound like this is what’s happening, unfortunately for all) - again, this is neither OK nor needed.
The facts that do appear in this book are plenty shocking and engrossing - stories involving abhorrent Kennedy behavior, especially regarding treatment of women, are aplenty and speak for themselves - so I do not understand why the author felt this degree of embellishment was necessary to draw in the reader. Also, these women and the lives they lived are plenty interesting enough to stand on their own, without the author having to add decorations and accessories! However, I also noticed that where the author had opportunity to delight in grotesque imagined detail, whether of a shooting or a lobotomy or something else, she seemed to revel in doing so. So, it may simply be that the author’s style runs more toward a tabloid type of “journalism� that - although I’ll say she is pretty good at it! - just isn’t my cup of tea. For my history, I’d prefer National Geographic or The Economist to People, much less The Daily Mail.
I’ve read other GR reviews of other books over the years where the review writer criticized a book for “reporting� fabricated content including things like conversational dialogue that was neither witnessed nor recorded and could not have been known. However, I’ve never read an ostensibly nonfiction book that committed this offense in such an exaggerated, over-the-top way as this one does, and I just couldn’t get past it. I even kept checking to see if it was actually meant to be nonfiction or if I’d made a mistake. I’m very sad that this stylistic choice and inclusion of fictional content both distracts from and undermines the veracity of the valuable information in the book and ultimately disrespects the compelling and poignant stories of the women whose lives it covers.
July 26, 2024
The author starts off, in the prologue, saying she was taking “creative license”…um, honey, that does not qualify as nonfiction!? So, that had me questioning the entire accuracy of the book. Next: I was taught in, like, 3rd grade that sentences should not begin with “and� or “but�. The author repeats that crime numerous times. Missing commas, too many informal conjunctions as well. Not my style preference. Another, and the biggest, reason why this author needed fiftyleven more editors? There is far too much straight up wrong information. I shall be kind and just name 2: RFK Jr was 14 when his father died, not 9 like the author states. She states that Ted Kennedy was at Mary Kennedy’s funeral. She died in 2012, he in 2009?! Idk…I find it ironic that this author repeatedly calls the Kennedys ignorant, yet she cannot fact check easily Google-able info or use a semicolon. What this book does well: gets my blood boiling about some of the egregious things that this family has done for over half of a century! Also, I was not aware of each of these women or stories. So, shedding light on that is very important. This book still disappointed me. I wanted retribution for these women! Yet, I barely feel that from this book. This author is mediocre and lowkey gots a mean streak. Both toward this family (fair) and even worse—toward these victims of abuse!
October 26, 2024
A book featuring a collective account of the pervasive and callous abuse endured by the Kennedy women and women associated with Kennedy men is assuredly a riveting objective. I'm all for giving voices and stories to women who have mostly been stripped of theirs - sometimes quite literally, if we're talking about Rosemary Kennedy, who, after being forced to endure a lobotomy at the behest of her father Joe (the family patriarch that started all of this madness in political dynasty with a huge side helping of narcissistic and often sociopathic behavior) - was left with the mental capacity of a two-year-old. All because she wasn't a "perfect Kennedy" when it came to her knowledge of understanding certain ideas at the "appropriate" milestones (ones her siblings met with ease) of world affairs, athletic prowess, political savviness, and so forth.
Other examples include a teenage Martha Moxley, who was murdered by a young Michael Skakel - cousin to Bobby Kennedy, and thus, capable of committing murder and getting out of jail free - simply because she happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and caught the eye of someone with obvious rage issues. Pamela Kelley was paralyzed from the waist down after a senseless "joyride" Joe Kennedy took her on and couldn't care less about the victims he created from a moment of sheer reckless behavior.
You know it's bad when Jackie, out of all the women detailed throughout Maureen Callahan's new book, Ask Not: The Kennedys and the Women They Destroyed, seemed to be the only one who got out and led a relatively decent life of her own desires and dreams. Oh, and Joan, too. It was good to see her come to her senses and kick Ted's ass to the curb. Something resonated with me that Jackie said, however, on a very personal level.
While I am in no way trying to insinuate that I'm anywhere near as important to the public as Jackie Bouvier Kennedy Onassis (lmao), I really did connect with a statement she'd made and a conclusion she'd finally reached after talks with her therapist about the relationship she'd had with JFK, and how, with his death, more than just her "Camelot" was taken from her. I'm going to finish this in the morning/afternoon, so I'll look the quote up and enter it then.
It's easy to look at these beautiful Kennedy women - or really, any women married to a high-profile, wealthy man - and think, "what does she have to complain about? She never has to worry about money a day in her life, and she's dating a gorgeous and compassionate man!" Sure. If you consider that the power that goes with that money takes away the woman's freedom, leaving her indebted to this man... or if you leave off the compassionate, kind image of JFK, Bobby, and the rest. Doesn't look so picturesque then, does it?
I know some people were worried about this book having partisan leanings and a lot of bias due to the fact that apparently the author is an ardent Kennedy critic, and a card-carrying member of the GOP. However, I don't see that in the text at all. What I did take issue with, though, is what some other reviewers have mentioned, and that's the way many of these women's stories are told: not necessarily with the gentle compassion you might expect, but rather in a salacious, gossipy way. A way that sort of made you think, "okay, it's obvious that while NO woman deserved this kind of treatment, it's not exactly like she was easygoing, either."
There's no truer example of this than when Callahan tells the story of JFK, Jr. and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy's laser-sharp focus on "landing" America's top bachelor. While perhaps tabloids and magazines had some truth to their tales of her portrayal as a mean girl and an ice queen, it just didn't feel appropriate for what this collection of stories was trying to achieve. Making both JFK, Jr. and Carolyn out to be erratic and neurotic, it was hard to tell at times who the "bad guy" was in the situation.
I remember hearing when I was pretty little the story of rescue operations searching the ocean for the wrecked Kennedy plane. Of course, I too grew up with the idea that there was some type of "Kennedy curse"... that so many beautiful young couples would die far before their time by some tragic fate, or suffer some other devastating loss. I remember feeling deeply sorry for JFK Jr., Carolyn, and her sister. But I never knew until I read this book that there was never a "curse." Usually, reckless and dangerous behavior produces tragic consequences. It's not a "curse" that your plane wrecked on the way to an island, it's arrogance and stupidity (along with what seemed like a death wish: or rather, the only way JFK Jr. felt "alive" was through his near-brushes with death).
Other readers who reviewed this book were right about the fact that many dates and names are incorrect or misprinted, and while I myself didn't check the sources, enough people have that it does seem quite plausible, given the tone of the book, that the author exaggerated many of the events, especially the worst of the arguments. Of course, what really got me, along with others, was the very off-putting "Through deep reporting and interviews with many who have never spoken before, this book seeks to understand what being a woman among Kennedy men felt like over the years. I have taken some creative license here, but each of these stories is anchored by years of research. Many of these women are complicated; they, too, were attracted to money, fame, power - and that's okay."
Ehh, judging by some of her perhaps, "more creatively licensed moments", it certainly didn't seem okay by my judgment, but that's just me. To me, those three sentences read like: "Yes, I did take creative liberties at time when reenacting conversations between Kennedy women and their husbands, but it's okay, because I did my research and I feel that most women would have reacted in that manner, given the accuracy of the facts in the archives. Just because they didn't say those exact words or do those exact things, doesn't mean it wasn't the most likely reaction an individual would have to such a horrible situation."
Again, I'm tired and need sleep. I could have just left that at, "she took creative license to put words in their mouths, from what I understand." While I do commend her for what I believe was a genuine effort to give more power to the Kennedy women and to expose the Kennedy men as flawed individuals, rather than these idealized fairy tale princes we've all come to believe, I do believe that the execution of this book could have been better. Perhaps tone down some of the sensationalism and things that seem to be "creatively licensed", and it would make a much better story.
It's not like these accounts of lobotomy, adultery, murder, and rape need to be exaggerated to get the point across. All of those things alone will warrant outrage without any additional input from the author. Rounded up to a 3.5. I enjoyed it, and I don't think it would be a waste of time to read it... yet, it wouldn't be the first, or even the second, third, or fourth book that I'd recommend to anyone asking for a good nonfiction read from this year.
P.S. - does she use the Great Gatsby quote intentionally before starting the prologue? I'm just wondering, considering what we know about
F. Scott Fitzgerald and what he did to his wife...
Promised addition: 10/26/24:
When I mentioned earlier that something Jackie had said to her psychiatrist, which deeply resonated with me, it was this:
”Dr. Kris diagnosed Jackie with PTSD and explained that her trauma had as much to do with November 22, 1963, as it did with her marriage to Jack, and that made sense to Jackie. She still had so much rage toward Jack for everything he put her through. For not coming home when she delivered a stillborn Arabella. For all the other women, so many of them.
The lies and the selfishness and hiding behind her skirt as a happy family man when often he would rather be anywhere else. For being a terrible husband, and such a distracted, unaccomplished president that she had to create an entire fiction, which had only served to trap her.
She was furious about the way he died and was finally able to say it out loud: It wasn’t fair to her. I can attest personally to how profound trauma becomes even worse as layers of trauma begin to accumulate and no one cares to even hear out the truth� which by no means denigrates the person who has passed, but rather, allows for the grief and sympathy to go to the person that was truly with him in the beginning up until the very end. I can’t even establish myself as his soulmate to his family, despite having been the only one to have spent significant time with him in the year leading up to the tragedy.
Of course, people may have had doubts, because after we had been together for 14 years and then broken up for six, we had wanted to be certain we knew what we were doing before we let the rest of the world know that the second time around was the real deal.
We had finally matured, were finally on the same page with our goals and dreams, our relationship had been tested, and undoubtedly, people would see that we had the purest and most wonderful, rarest type of love. But still, the betrayal by him in 2017 stung deeply, yet I always believed that I had been patient so long, I could be patient for a couple more months, if necessary. I did not realize just how limited our time together was, how history would repeat itself in not allowing me closure, a second chance, nor even answers. The clock ran out before I had even realized it had begun ticking.
What Jackie said epitomizes my anger at the situation and the fact that I will never be able to express it:
”His death really robbed me of my chance to be angry with him,� Jackie told Kris.
How could there ever have been room for her rage? How could she allow herself to feel what she felt � that a part of her hated him? It would never be accepted. Jackie, as she had done since childhood, turned all that fury inward, and it was killing her.
I understand all too well.
Other examples include a teenage Martha Moxley, who was murdered by a young Michael Skakel - cousin to Bobby Kennedy, and thus, capable of committing murder and getting out of jail free - simply because she happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and caught the eye of someone with obvious rage issues. Pamela Kelley was paralyzed from the waist down after a senseless "joyride" Joe Kennedy took her on and couldn't care less about the victims he created from a moment of sheer reckless behavior.
You know it's bad when Jackie, out of all the women detailed throughout Maureen Callahan's new book, Ask Not: The Kennedys and the Women They Destroyed, seemed to be the only one who got out and led a relatively decent life of her own desires and dreams. Oh, and Joan, too. It was good to see her come to her senses and kick Ted's ass to the curb. Something resonated with me that Jackie said, however, on a very personal level.
While I am in no way trying to insinuate that I'm anywhere near as important to the public as Jackie Bouvier Kennedy Onassis (lmao), I really did connect with a statement she'd made and a conclusion she'd finally reached after talks with her therapist about the relationship she'd had with JFK, and how, with his death, more than just her "Camelot" was taken from her. I'm going to finish this in the morning/afternoon, so I'll look the quote up and enter it then.
It's easy to look at these beautiful Kennedy women - or really, any women married to a high-profile, wealthy man - and think, "what does she have to complain about? She never has to worry about money a day in her life, and she's dating a gorgeous and compassionate man!" Sure. If you consider that the power that goes with that money takes away the woman's freedom, leaving her indebted to this man... or if you leave off the compassionate, kind image of JFK, Bobby, and the rest. Doesn't look so picturesque then, does it?
I know some people were worried about this book having partisan leanings and a lot of bias due to the fact that apparently the author is an ardent Kennedy critic, and a card-carrying member of the GOP. However, I don't see that in the text at all. What I did take issue with, though, is what some other reviewers have mentioned, and that's the way many of these women's stories are told: not necessarily with the gentle compassion you might expect, but rather in a salacious, gossipy way. A way that sort of made you think, "okay, it's obvious that while NO woman deserved this kind of treatment, it's not exactly like she was easygoing, either."
There's no truer example of this than when Callahan tells the story of JFK, Jr. and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy's laser-sharp focus on "landing" America's top bachelor. While perhaps tabloids and magazines had some truth to their tales of her portrayal as a mean girl and an ice queen, it just didn't feel appropriate for what this collection of stories was trying to achieve. Making both JFK, Jr. and Carolyn out to be erratic and neurotic, it was hard to tell at times who the "bad guy" was in the situation.
I remember hearing when I was pretty little the story of rescue operations searching the ocean for the wrecked Kennedy plane. Of course, I too grew up with the idea that there was some type of "Kennedy curse"... that so many beautiful young couples would die far before their time by some tragic fate, or suffer some other devastating loss. I remember feeling deeply sorry for JFK Jr., Carolyn, and her sister. But I never knew until I read this book that there was never a "curse." Usually, reckless and dangerous behavior produces tragic consequences. It's not a "curse" that your plane wrecked on the way to an island, it's arrogance and stupidity (along with what seemed like a death wish: or rather, the only way JFK Jr. felt "alive" was through his near-brushes with death).
Other readers who reviewed this book were right about the fact that many dates and names are incorrect or misprinted, and while I myself didn't check the sources, enough people have that it does seem quite plausible, given the tone of the book, that the author exaggerated many of the events, especially the worst of the arguments. Of course, what really got me, along with others, was the very off-putting "Through deep reporting and interviews with many who have never spoken before, this book seeks to understand what being a woman among Kennedy men felt like over the years. I have taken some creative license here, but each of these stories is anchored by years of research. Many of these women are complicated; they, too, were attracted to money, fame, power - and that's okay."
Ehh, judging by some of her perhaps, "more creatively licensed moments", it certainly didn't seem okay by my judgment, but that's just me. To me, those three sentences read like: "Yes, I did take creative liberties at time when reenacting conversations between Kennedy women and their husbands, but it's okay, because I did my research and I feel that most women would have reacted in that manner, given the accuracy of the facts in the archives. Just because they didn't say those exact words or do those exact things, doesn't mean it wasn't the most likely reaction an individual would have to such a horrible situation."
Again, I'm tired and need sleep. I could have just left that at, "she took creative license to put words in their mouths, from what I understand." While I do commend her for what I believe was a genuine effort to give more power to the Kennedy women and to expose the Kennedy men as flawed individuals, rather than these idealized fairy tale princes we've all come to believe, I do believe that the execution of this book could have been better. Perhaps tone down some of the sensationalism and things that seem to be "creatively licensed", and it would make a much better story.
It's not like these accounts of lobotomy, adultery, murder, and rape need to be exaggerated to get the point across. All of those things alone will warrant outrage without any additional input from the author. Rounded up to a 3.5. I enjoyed it, and I don't think it would be a waste of time to read it... yet, it wouldn't be the first, or even the second, third, or fourth book that I'd recommend to anyone asking for a good nonfiction read from this year.
P.S. - does she use the Great Gatsby quote intentionally before starting the prologue? I'm just wondering, considering what we know about
F. Scott Fitzgerald and what he did to his wife...
Promised addition: 10/26/24:
When I mentioned earlier that something Jackie had said to her psychiatrist, which deeply resonated with me, it was this:
”Dr. Kris diagnosed Jackie with PTSD and explained that her trauma had as much to do with November 22, 1963, as it did with her marriage to Jack, and that made sense to Jackie. She still had so much rage toward Jack for everything he put her through. For not coming home when she delivered a stillborn Arabella. For all the other women, so many of them.
The lies and the selfishness and hiding behind her skirt as a happy family man when often he would rather be anywhere else. For being a terrible husband, and such a distracted, unaccomplished president that she had to create an entire fiction, which had only served to trap her.
She was furious about the way he died and was finally able to say it out loud: It wasn’t fair to her. I can attest personally to how profound trauma becomes even worse as layers of trauma begin to accumulate and no one cares to even hear out the truth� which by no means denigrates the person who has passed, but rather, allows for the grief and sympathy to go to the person that was truly with him in the beginning up until the very end. I can’t even establish myself as his soulmate to his family, despite having been the only one to have spent significant time with him in the year leading up to the tragedy.
Of course, people may have had doubts, because after we had been together for 14 years and then broken up for six, we had wanted to be certain we knew what we were doing before we let the rest of the world know that the second time around was the real deal.
We had finally matured, were finally on the same page with our goals and dreams, our relationship had been tested, and undoubtedly, people would see that we had the purest and most wonderful, rarest type of love. But still, the betrayal by him in 2017 stung deeply, yet I always believed that I had been patient so long, I could be patient for a couple more months, if necessary. I did not realize just how limited our time together was, how history would repeat itself in not allowing me closure, a second chance, nor even answers. The clock ran out before I had even realized it had begun ticking.
What Jackie said epitomizes my anger at the situation and the fact that I will never be able to express it:
”His death really robbed me of my chance to be angry with him,� Jackie told Kris.
How could there ever have been room for her rage? How could she allow herself to feel what she felt � that a part of her hated him? It would never be accepted. Jackie, as she had done since childhood, turned all that fury inward, and it was killing her.
I understand all too well.
August 20, 2024
At first, I really liked this examination of how terrible the Kennedy men are and were. But then the lines started to blur between what is true and what the author added when she "took creative license." These embellishments really made her lose credibility, which is unfortunate. I understand that she probably wanted it to be in the realm of highly readable narrative nonfiction, but the facts themselves (along with skilled writing) would have worked to do this. Provide accurate reporting on how horrible the Kennedys were and are, no need to make up entire conversations and such. The facts will show how garbage they were. You can't add your own biased artistic license to other people's histories and not expect to lose some credibility. Bummed about the route she took, but it at least led me to read more (factual and non-sensationalized) history of the Kennedys.
July 24, 2024
Good grief! This family is an absolute dumpster fire. Like many people, I saw them as a glamorous dynasty, despite knowing they had many shortcomings, but trying to judge them based on their time.
No no no. They're way worse than I gave them credit for. Chappaquiddick is just the tip of the iceberg. These men made women suffer their entire lives like it was their job, and I suppose in some ways it was.
Many women in this don't come out smelling like roses either and that's okay. I found myself feeling particularly sad for Joan. I never even knew she existed but her suffering was immeasurable. I guess she at least survived though.
Another surprise was RFK Jr. I had forgotten how awful he was so I definitely reconsidered some things politically.
This was a wonderful nonfiction book. I got the audio because I had a credit and I had surgery so I had some time to listen. I normally don't like nonfiction on audio because it just doesn't flow well for me but this was wonderfully structured, even though it isn't all in chronological order, it still is easy to follow and obviously we are going to revisit some women more than others featured in this book. The ones who were lucky enough to survive have longer stories.
Basically, I learned a lot and none of it was good news.
No no no. They're way worse than I gave them credit for. Chappaquiddick is just the tip of the iceberg. These men made women suffer their entire lives like it was their job, and I suppose in some ways it was.
Many women in this don't come out smelling like roses either and that's okay. I found myself feeling particularly sad for Joan. I never even knew she existed but her suffering was immeasurable. I guess she at least survived though.
Another surprise was RFK Jr. I had forgotten how awful he was so I definitely reconsidered some things politically.
This was a wonderful nonfiction book. I got the audio because I had a credit and I had surgery so I had some time to listen. I normally don't like nonfiction on audio because it just doesn't flow well for me but this was wonderfully structured, even though it isn't all in chronological order, it still is easy to follow and obviously we are going to revisit some women more than others featured in this book. The ones who were lucky enough to survive have longer stories.
Basically, I learned a lot and none of it was good news.
August 5, 2024
I am not even going to bother trying to list all the inaccuracies because I lost count. This is a shameless violation and assault of character on people who aren’t alive to defend themselves. I still can’t tell if the author is bashing all these women or attempting to defend them? Perhaps neither and it’s purely for shock value and financial game. It’s disgusting. Let these people rest in peace for God sakes!
March 15, 2025
This is an excellent book. I have never been a fan of the Kennedy clan. I come from New England and have always been disgusted by their arrogance sense of entitlement. As a small child I remember older members of my family talking about the deaths of RFK and JFK. Over the years their abuse of government power, and abuse of women have become front page news. Despite it all, this book was an eye-opener on just how depraved the family, particularly the men, actually are. If you are interested in women's rights, abuse by powerful men or the Kennedy Clan this this an excellent book.
June 18, 2024
#AskNot by Maureen Callahan is the most scandalous read of the year! The Kennedy family has been on top for so long and stepped on many women along the way and this book shares just a fraction of what they endured and how they succumbed or rose above it!
A CAPTIVATING EXPOSE that I haven’t been able to stop talking about. At times while reading I was in tears and others filled with anger at what and how these women were used, objectified, and discarded.
I want to think little, brown and company and NetGalley for the chance to read an advanced readers copy. This read was phenomenal and i greatly enjoyed it. This will be on my bookshelf come July 2nd!
A CAPTIVATING EXPOSE that I haven’t been able to stop talking about. At times while reading I was in tears and others filled with anger at what and how these women were used, objectified, and discarded.
I want to think little, brown and company and NetGalley for the chance to read an advanced readers copy. This read was phenomenal and i greatly enjoyed it. This will be on my bookshelf come July 2nd!
November 13, 2024
An unthinkable and shocking tell-all of the iconic Kennedy men having done horrific crimes against women/young girls. And then to have never been prosecuted, other than Kennedy cousin Michael Skakel, shows that men of power can easily make anything vanish. I’m disgusted, instead of using their family name and power to do greater good, they opted to recklessly disregard anyone but their own self, shamelessly hurting others for their own want or gain. I appreciate that MC has investigated and brought to light verified facts surrounding these men and who they truly are under all the money, power, and politics. 4.5 stars � Pub. 7/2/24
September 19, 2024
I’d give it no stars. Glad I spent no money on this. Creative license? Please. If you cannot write a historical book without a giant bias, don’t do it.
July 5, 2024
I always knew the Kennedy men were monsters but never knew the depths of their depravities. And the complicity of the media and others to keep all of it quiet - I am so glad the dark truth is finally coming out about this falsely lionized family who did their very worst to anyone who came into their circle.
Some of these stories made me nauseous. Others made me hopping mad, ready to spit nails. I am so glad, for all these women and the countless we'll never know about, that their stories are finally being told. No one is presented as all good or all bad - we all have our scars & flaws. But the overarching theme here - that all these women (and yes, girls) somehow deserved what they got, that they were somehow asking to be raped, abused, humiliated, and castigated in public - is so monstrous. That even innocent Rosemary deserved to be lobotomized by her father.
I grew up in MA and had to endure the Kennedy Camelot myth all my life. I never thought they deserved the adulation they received. And now we know - they didn't. In fact, they deserved so much worse. JFK should never have been president. RFK should never have been Attorney General. And Teddy - well he belonged in jail. And their sons are just like them. And so are their sons. This is a genetic line that should be stopped.
Some of these stories made me nauseous. Others made me hopping mad, ready to spit nails. I am so glad, for all these women and the countless we'll never know about, that their stories are finally being told. No one is presented as all good or all bad - we all have our scars & flaws. But the overarching theme here - that all these women (and yes, girls) somehow deserved what they got, that they were somehow asking to be raped, abused, humiliated, and castigated in public - is so monstrous. That even innocent Rosemary deserved to be lobotomized by her father.
I grew up in MA and had to endure the Kennedy Camelot myth all my life. I never thought they deserved the adulation they received. And now we know - they didn't. In fact, they deserved so much worse. JFK should never have been president. RFK should never have been Attorney General. And Teddy - well he belonged in jail. And their sons are just like them. And so are their sons. This is a genetic line that should be stopped.
May 17, 2024
Maureen Callahan's "Ask Not" is a piercing exposé of the infamous Kennedy family, peeling back the layers of their public image to reveal a dark legacy of misogyny and abuse. In “Ask Not� Callahan meticulously documents a Kennedy history rife with violence and exploitation against women, challenging the myth of American Royalty. Recounting the tragic tales of Jacqueline Onassis, Marilyn Monroe, Martha Moxley and Mary Jo Kopechne, among others, Callahan brings their injustices to light. The narrative doesn't just recount the horrors, and there are many, but also pays tribute to the resilience of the women who managed to break free and honours the lives of those who could not. With incisive prose and thorough research, "Ask Not" restores the voices of the women who were for so long overshadowed, reclaims their narratives, and presents a stark, necessary reappraisal of the Kennedy legacy.
Many thanks to Edelweiss and Little, Brown and Company for the opportunity to read and review “Ask Not� prior to its publication date.
Many thanks to Edelweiss and Little, Brown and Company for the opportunity to read and review “Ask Not� prior to its publication date.
October 19, 2024
This was an EXCELLENT history of the Kennedys and their blatant disregard of women over the years as they lie and deceive while only serving themselves. Truly, the disregard for others is stunning! I would highly recommend this book if you have ever had an interest in the Kennedy family.
August 5, 2024
Man screw this book but also shame on me for expecting anything else. The gossipy, dramatic tone (made so much worse by lacking footnotes and internal dialogue that seems improbable to know??) shows little respect to the women whose lives have been ruined by Kennedy men.
August 28, 2024
The words that come to mind about ASK NOT are stunning, devastating, disquieting, and myth-busting. This is one of those books (or audiobooks in my case), that make you feel as if you need a moment to process your emotions after reading.
December 12, 2024
I have started and restarted a review on this book over and over. I just cannot find the words to describe just how horrible the whole Kennedy family is.
I’m baffled at the wives of the Kennedys. Why did they put up with the cheating? Why did they marry them in the first place when they knew that they were serial cheaters? Was it for the fame? Was it for the money? I just don’t understand. Yet the women seem to think that they should be felt sorry for. Poor them.
No amount of money in the world is worth selling your soul for and that is exactly what these women did. I would like to feel sorry for them, but I really can’t.
So many lives lost because of the selfishness of one family.
Rosemary Kennedy
Mary Richardson Kennedy
Carolyn Bessette Kennedy
Lauren Bessette
Mary Jo Kopechne
Martha Moxley
Marilyn Monroe
All lost due to the entitlement of the Kennedy men.
This does not include the lives that were destroyed by the actions of these sexual predators.
They got away with rape more than once. They were above the law. They threw their money around and got what they wanted all the time not caring who they ran over to get what it was they wanted.
How many under age girls did they rape? Why didn’t anybody protect these girls? Were their parents starstruck or did their parents even care? It’s all just very mind blowing to me.
I have a lot of issues with the author of this book. There were a lot of inconsistencies. There were a lot of lies. There were a lot of opinions of the author that just did not belong in this book. This book should probably have been on the fiction shelf and not on the nonfiction shelf. Some of the things in the book were just outright fabrications. The author said she took some liberty in her writing, but this went well beyond liberties. This was just more like tabloid gossip that anyone of us could have made up at any time. She got a lot of dates wrong. She got a lot of the ages wrong. She got a lot wrong. Let’s just put it that way�..she got a lot wrong.
The thing she did right was state that the whole Kennedy family, whether it was male or female, were more or less just garbage with money.
Sell your soul to the highest bidder and never complain.
I’m actually surprised I finished this book. It was like a train wreck that you could not look away from and I know that’s a cliché, but that is exactly what this book was like.
The more you read the more you realized that a lot of the book was just not true, but then you also realized that a lot of the book was true, which made it equally bad.
To think one family could destroy so many lives without ever even caring that what they were doing was wrong on so, so many disgusting and illegal levels.
I actually feel both numb and stunned that women with such intelligence could be taken in by such despicable men. It really makes me second-guess why these women would subject themselves to that.
I don’t see this family ever being any better than it is right now because it refuses to accept the fact that they are not above the law, that they do hurt people, that they should stand accountable for what they do and all their hiding behind the Catholic Church is not going to save their souls in the end.
All I can do is hope that the next generation can look back on the older generations and realize there is much work to be done in the Kennedy family.
I’m baffled at the wives of the Kennedys. Why did they put up with the cheating? Why did they marry them in the first place when they knew that they were serial cheaters? Was it for the fame? Was it for the money? I just don’t understand. Yet the women seem to think that they should be felt sorry for. Poor them.
No amount of money in the world is worth selling your soul for and that is exactly what these women did. I would like to feel sorry for them, but I really can’t.
So many lives lost because of the selfishness of one family.
Rosemary Kennedy
Mary Richardson Kennedy
Carolyn Bessette Kennedy
Lauren Bessette
Mary Jo Kopechne
Martha Moxley
Marilyn Monroe
All lost due to the entitlement of the Kennedy men.
This does not include the lives that were destroyed by the actions of these sexual predators.
They got away with rape more than once. They were above the law. They threw their money around and got what they wanted all the time not caring who they ran over to get what it was they wanted.
How many under age girls did they rape? Why didn’t anybody protect these girls? Were their parents starstruck or did their parents even care? It’s all just very mind blowing to me.
I have a lot of issues with the author of this book. There were a lot of inconsistencies. There were a lot of lies. There were a lot of opinions of the author that just did not belong in this book. This book should probably have been on the fiction shelf and not on the nonfiction shelf. Some of the things in the book were just outright fabrications. The author said she took some liberty in her writing, but this went well beyond liberties. This was just more like tabloid gossip that anyone of us could have made up at any time. She got a lot of dates wrong. She got a lot of the ages wrong. She got a lot wrong. Let’s just put it that way�..she got a lot wrong.
The thing she did right was state that the whole Kennedy family, whether it was male or female, were more or less just garbage with money.
Sell your soul to the highest bidder and never complain.
I’m actually surprised I finished this book. It was like a train wreck that you could not look away from and I know that’s a cliché, but that is exactly what this book was like.
The more you read the more you realized that a lot of the book was just not true, but then you also realized that a lot of the book was true, which made it equally bad.
To think one family could destroy so many lives without ever even caring that what they were doing was wrong on so, so many disgusting and illegal levels.
I actually feel both numb and stunned that women with such intelligence could be taken in by such despicable men. It really makes me second-guess why these women would subject themselves to that.
I don’t see this family ever being any better than it is right now because it refuses to accept the fact that they are not above the law, that they do hurt people, that they should stand accountable for what they do and all their hiding behind the Catholic Church is not going to save their souls in the end.
All I can do is hope that the next generation can look back on the older generations and realize there is much work to be done in the Kennedy family.
November 24, 2024
Audiobook 🎧
The title based on JFK’s famous inaugural speech�. “Ask not what your county can do for you but what you can do for your country.�
This was a provocative look into the Kennedy men and the impact they had on the women in their lives. There were many, many women�.
When a story is very skewed towards one side it begs the question of how much of it is actually true. I was familiar with some of the chapters. Martha Morley and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy for example, were not new to me but most of what was presented was. What I do know for certain is that there was no Camelot and the Kennedy men had multiple issues, mainly monogamy and serial womanizing.
How much have we learnt from our past with allowing these behaviours to continue in public office? The truth is that we have a very long way to go.
If you have any interest in the Kennedy’s this will definitely be a quick read for you.
The title based on JFK’s famous inaugural speech�. “Ask not what your county can do for you but what you can do for your country.�
This was a provocative look into the Kennedy men and the impact they had on the women in their lives. There were many, many women�.
When a story is very skewed towards one side it begs the question of how much of it is actually true. I was familiar with some of the chapters. Martha Morley and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy for example, were not new to me but most of what was presented was. What I do know for certain is that there was no Camelot and the Kennedy men had multiple issues, mainly monogamy and serial womanizing.
How much have we learnt from our past with allowing these behaviours to continue in public office? The truth is that we have a very long way to go.
If you have any interest in the Kennedy’s this will definitely be a quick read for you.
February 1, 2025
I know absolutely nothing about the Kennedys, sad maybe, but true. So, when a friend recommended by to me I knew I had to read it. I actually have Callahan's on my TBR and reading this has convinced me I need to pick that up sooner rather than later. I could tell that a ton of time and energy went into the research for this book, and I can’t believe all of the things I learned. Is there a single Kennedy male who isn’t a cheater with a superiority complex? It sure doesn’t seem like it based on what I read here. Some of the things that they have done are truly despicable as well as unforgettable and what I read about Rosemary Kennedy disgusted me. Poor Rosemary and Kathleen. 😭
I listened to the audiobook, and I loved Gabra Zackman as the narrator. I couldn’t find a single flaw in her narration and the sound of her voice was music to my ears. She did a great job narrating this dumpster fire of a story and I would highly recommend the audiobook as long as you also have a copy of the book as well. There is an interesting notes section that isn’t included in the audiobook as well as a family tree that I liked being able to look at. Not all of the women are painted in the best light either, but I learned so much from this book and it honestly read a bit like fiction which made it very approachable and not dry at all. I definitely got the feeling that Callahan is biased when it comes to the Kennedy men, but how can you not be knowing even some of the horrid things they have done.
Read this if you are interested in knowing more about the Kennedy line, enjoy nonfiction that reads like fiction, and don’t mind books where the author takes creative license and gives internal thoughts and not just cold hard facts.
Audiobook Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐�
I listened to the audiobook, and I loved Gabra Zackman as the narrator. I couldn’t find a single flaw in her narration and the sound of her voice was music to my ears. She did a great job narrating this dumpster fire of a story and I would highly recommend the audiobook as long as you also have a copy of the book as well. There is an interesting notes section that isn’t included in the audiobook as well as a family tree that I liked being able to look at. Not all of the women are painted in the best light either, but I learned so much from this book and it honestly read a bit like fiction which made it very approachable and not dry at all. I definitely got the feeling that Callahan is biased when it comes to the Kennedy men, but how can you not be knowing even some of the horrid things they have done.
Read this if you are interested in knowing more about the Kennedy line, enjoy nonfiction that reads like fiction, and don’t mind books where the author takes creative license and gives internal thoughts and not just cold hard facts.
Audiobook Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐�
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