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袪邪写胁邪屑 褋械, 褔械 屑邪屑邪 褍屑褉褟
欧宝娱乐 Choice Award
Winner for Readers' Favorite Memoir & Autobiography (2022)孝褉芯谐邪褌械谢械薪 懈 蟹邪斜邪胁械薪 屑械屑芯邪褉 芯褌 蟹胁械蟹写邪褌邪 芯褌 褌械谢械胁懈蟹懈芯薪薪懈褌械 褋械褉懈邪谢懈 鈥炐愋�-袣邪褉谢懈鈥� 懈 鈥炐⌒靶� 懈 袣邪褌鈥� 袛卸械薪械褌 袦邪泻泻褗褉写懈, 胁 泻芯泄褌芯 褌褟 芯锌懈褋胁邪 褌褉褍写薪芯褋褌懈褌械 褋懈 泻邪褌芯 写械褌械 邪泻褌褜芯褉 鈥� 芯褌 褏褉邪薪懈褌械谢薪懈 褉邪蟹褋褌褉芯泄褋褌胁邪 懈 蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑芯褋褌懈 写芯 褋谢芯卸薪懈褌械 胁蟹邪懈屑芯芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟 褋 写芯屑懈薪懈褉邪褖邪褌邪 褋懈 屑邪泄泻邪, 懈 泻邪泻 褍褋锌褟胁邪 写邪 胁褗蟹胁褗褉薪械 泻芯薪褌褉芯谢邪 薪邪写 卸懈胁芯褌邪 褋懈.
袛卸械薪械褌 袦邪泻泻褗褉写懈 械 薪邪 褕械褋褌 谐芯写懈薪懈, 泻芯谐邪褌芯 芯褌懈胁邪 薪邪 锌褗褉胁芯褌芯 褋懈 锌褉芯褋谢褍褕胁邪薪械. 袦械褔褌邪褌邪 薪邪 屑邪泄泻邪 泄 械 械写懈薪褋褌胁械薪邪褌邪 泄 写褗褖械褉褟 写邪 褋褌邪薪械 蟹胁械蟹写邪 懈 袛卸械薪械褌 械 谐芯褌芯胁邪 薪邪 胁褋懈褔泻芯, 蟹邪 写邪 褟 薪邪锌褉邪胁懈 褖邪褋褌谢懈胁邪. 孝邪泻邪 褔械 褋 芯褏芯褌邪 锌褉懈械屑邪 褌芯胁邪, 泻芯械褌芯 屑邪屑邪 薪邪褉懈褔邪 鈥炐盒靶恍狙€懈泄薪邪 褉械褋褌褉懈泻褑懈褟鈥� - 泻芯薪褋褍屑懈褉邪 屑懈薪懈屑邪谢薪懈 泻芯谢懈褔械褋褌胁邪 褏褉邪薪邪 懈 褋械 褌械谐谢懈 薪邪 泻邪薪褌邪褉邪 锌芯 锌械褌 锌褗褌懈 薪邪 写械薪. 袛卸械薪械褌 懈蟹褌褗褉锌褟胁邪 屑邪褖邪斜薪懈 褌褉邪薪褋褎芯褉屑邪褑懈懈 薪邪 胁褗薪褕薪懈褟 褋懈 胁懈写 胁 写芯屑邪褕薪懈 褍褋谢芯胁懈褟, 写芯泻邪褌芯 屑邪屑邪 褍泻芯褉懈褌械谢薪芯 蟹邪褟胁褟胁邪: 鈥炐溞感承恍秆傂� 褌懈 褋邪 薪械胁懈写懈屑懈, 褟褋薪芯? 袛邪 薪械 屑懈褋谢懈褕, 褔械 袛邪泻芯褌邪 肖邪薪懈薪谐 薪械 锌芯褌褗屑薪褟胁邪 褋胁芯懈褌械?鈥�. 袦邪屑邪 写芯褉懈 薪邪褋褌芯褟胁邪 写邪 泻褗锌械 袛卸械薪械褌 写芯 褕械褋褌薪邪泄褋械褌谐芯写懈褕薪邪 胁褗蟹褉邪褋褌, 泻邪褌芯 褋褗褖芯 褌邪泻邪 褟 锌褉懈薪褍卸写邪胁邪 写邪 褋锌芯写械谢褟 褋 薪械褟 写薪械胁薪懈褑懈褌械 褋懈, 懈屑械泄谢懈褌械 褋懈, 泻邪泻褌芯 懈 褑械谢懈褟 褋懈 写芯褏芯写.
袙 泻薪懈谐邪褌邪 褋懈 鈥炐犘靶葱残靶� 褋械, 褔械 屑邪屑邪 褍屑褉褟鈥� 袛卸械薪械褌 斜械蟹泻芯屑锌褉芯屑懈褋薪芯 褉邪蟹泻邪蟹胁邪 胁褋懈褔泻芯 褌芯胁邪 胁 锌褗谢薪懈 锌芯写褉芯斜薪芯褋褌懈 鈥� 锌芯 褋褗褖懈褟 薪邪褔懈薪 芯锌懈褋胁邪 懈 泻邪泻胁芯 褋褌邪胁邪, 泻芯谐邪褌芯 屑械褔褌邪褌邪 薪邪泄-薪邪泻褉邪褟 褋械 褋斜褗写胁邪. 小 谐谢邪胁薪邪褌邪 褋懈 褉芯谢褟 胁 薪芯胁懈褟 褋械褉懈邪谢 薪邪 鈥炐澬感盒敌恍拘葱敌拘解€� 鈥炐愋�-袣邪褉谢懈鈥� 褌褟 斜褗褉蟹芯 褋褌邪胁邪 懈蟹胁械褋褌薪邪. 袙褗锌褉械泻懈 褔械 屑邪屑邪 械 胁 械褍褎芯褉懈褟, 懈蟹锌褉邪褖邪泄泻懈 懈屑械泄谢懈 薪邪 屑芯写械褉邪褌芯褉懈褌械 薪邪 褎械薪 泻谢褍斜芯胁械 懈 褋斜谢懈卸邪胁邪泄泻懈 褋械 褋 锌邪锌邪褉邪褑懈褌械 (鈥炐椥囱€邪褋褌懈, 袚谢械薪!鈥�), 袛卸械薪械褌 械 懈蟹锌褗谢薪械薪邪 褋 褌褉械胁芯谐邪, 褋褉邪屑 懈 褋械斜械芯屑褉邪蟹邪, 泻芯懈褌芯 褋械 锌褉械胁褉褗褖邪褌 胁 褏褉邪薪懈褌械谢薪懈 褉邪蟹褋褌褉芯泄褋褌胁邪, 蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑芯褋褌懈 懈 锌芯褉械写懈褑邪 芯褌 薪械蟹写褉邪胁芯褋谢芯胁薪懈 胁褉褗蟹泻懈. 孝械蟹懈 锌褉芯斜谢械屑懈 褋械 蟹邪写褗谢斜芯褔邪胁邪褌, 泻芯谐邪褌芯 褋泻芯褉芯 褋谢械写 泻邪褌芯 锌芯械屑邪 谐谢邪胁薪邪褌邪 褉芯谢褟 胁 锌褉芯写褗谢卸械薪懈械褌芯 薪邪 鈥炐愋�-袣邪褉谢懈鈥� 鈥� 褋械褉懈邪谢邪, 薪邪褉械褔械薪 鈥炐⌒靶� 懈 袣邪褌鈥�, 蟹邪械写薪芯 褋 袗褉懈邪薪邪 袚褉邪薪写械, 屑邪泄泻邪 泄 褍屑懈褉邪 芯褌 褉邪泻. 袠 薪邪泄-褋械褌薪械, 褔邪泻 褋谢械写 泻邪褌芯 蟹邪锌芯褔胁邪 写邪 锌芯褋械褖邪胁邪 褌械褉邪锌械胁褌 懈 褋械 芯褌泻邪蟹胁邪 芯褌 邪泻褌褜芯褉褋泻邪褌邪 锌褉芯褎械褋懈褟, 袛卸械薪械褌 褋械 褎芯泻褍褋懈褉邪 胁褗褉褏褍 褋芯斜褋褌胁械薪芯褌芯 褋懈 胁褗蟹褋褌邪薪芯胁褟胁邪薪械 懈 蟹邪 锌褗褉胁懈 锌褗褌 胁 卸懈胁芯褌邪 褋懈 锌芯谢褍褔邪胁邪 胁褗蟹屑芯卸薪芯褋褌 写邪 褉械褕邪胁邪 褋邪屑邪 蟹邪 褋械斜械 褋懈 泻邪泻胁懈 褋邪 薪械泄薪懈褌械 懈褋褌懈薪褋泻懈 卸械谢邪薪懈褟.
袧邪锌懈褋邪薪邪 锌褉褟屑芯, 懈褋泻褉械薪芯 懈 褋 写芯蟹邪 褔械褉械薪 褏褍屑芯褉, 泻薪懈谐邪褌邪 鈥炐犘靶葱残靶� 褋械, 褔械 屑邪屑邪 褍屑褉褟鈥� 械 胁写褗褏薪芯胁褟胁邪褖 褉邪蟹泻邪蟹 蟹邪 褍褋褌芯泄褔懈胁芯褋褌, 薪械蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑芯褋褌 懈 褉邪写芯褋褌褌邪 芯褌 褋邪屑芯褋褌芯褟褌械谢薪芯褌芯 屑懈械薪械 薪邪 泻芯褋邪褌邪.
袛卸械薪械褌 袦邪泻泻褗褉写懈 械 薪邪 褕械褋褌 谐芯写懈薪懈, 泻芯谐邪褌芯 芯褌懈胁邪 薪邪 锌褗褉胁芯褌芯 褋懈 锌褉芯褋谢褍褕胁邪薪械. 袦械褔褌邪褌邪 薪邪 屑邪泄泻邪 泄 械 械写懈薪褋褌胁械薪邪褌邪 泄 写褗褖械褉褟 写邪 褋褌邪薪械 蟹胁械蟹写邪 懈 袛卸械薪械褌 械 谐芯褌芯胁邪 薪邪 胁褋懈褔泻芯, 蟹邪 写邪 褟 薪邪锌褉邪胁懈 褖邪褋褌谢懈胁邪. 孝邪泻邪 褔械 褋 芯褏芯褌邪 锌褉懈械屑邪 褌芯胁邪, 泻芯械褌芯 屑邪屑邪 薪邪褉懈褔邪 鈥炐盒靶恍狙€懈泄薪邪 褉械褋褌褉懈泻褑懈褟鈥� - 泻芯薪褋褍屑懈褉邪 屑懈薪懈屑邪谢薪懈 泻芯谢懈褔械褋褌胁邪 褏褉邪薪邪 懈 褋械 褌械谐谢懈 薪邪 泻邪薪褌邪褉邪 锌芯 锌械褌 锌褗褌懈 薪邪 写械薪. 袛卸械薪械褌 懈蟹褌褗褉锌褟胁邪 屑邪褖邪斜薪懈 褌褉邪薪褋褎芯褉屑邪褑懈懈 薪邪 胁褗薪褕薪懈褟 褋懈 胁懈写 胁 写芯屑邪褕薪懈 褍褋谢芯胁懈褟, 写芯泻邪褌芯 屑邪屑邪 褍泻芯褉懈褌械谢薪芯 蟹邪褟胁褟胁邪: 鈥炐溞感承恍秆傂� 褌懈 褋邪 薪械胁懈写懈屑懈, 褟褋薪芯? 袛邪 薪械 屑懈褋谢懈褕, 褔械 袛邪泻芯褌邪 肖邪薪懈薪谐 薪械 锌芯褌褗屑薪褟胁邪 褋胁芯懈褌械?鈥�. 袦邪屑邪 写芯褉懈 薪邪褋褌芯褟胁邪 写邪 泻褗锌械 袛卸械薪械褌 写芯 褕械褋褌薪邪泄褋械褌谐芯写懈褕薪邪 胁褗蟹褉邪褋褌, 泻邪褌芯 褋褗褖芯 褌邪泻邪 褟 锌褉懈薪褍卸写邪胁邪 写邪 褋锌芯写械谢褟 褋 薪械褟 写薪械胁薪懈褑懈褌械 褋懈, 懈屑械泄谢懈褌械 褋懈, 泻邪泻褌芯 懈 褑械谢懈褟 褋懈 写芯褏芯写.
袙 泻薪懈谐邪褌邪 褋懈 鈥炐犘靶葱残靶� 褋械, 褔械 屑邪屑邪 褍屑褉褟鈥� 袛卸械薪械褌 斜械蟹泻芯屑锌褉芯屑懈褋薪芯 褉邪蟹泻邪蟹胁邪 胁褋懈褔泻芯 褌芯胁邪 胁 锌褗谢薪懈 锌芯写褉芯斜薪芯褋褌懈 鈥� 锌芯 褋褗褖懈褟 薪邪褔懈薪 芯锌懈褋胁邪 懈 泻邪泻胁芯 褋褌邪胁邪, 泻芯谐邪褌芯 屑械褔褌邪褌邪 薪邪泄-薪邪泻褉邪褟 褋械 褋斜褗写胁邪. 小 谐谢邪胁薪邪褌邪 褋懈 褉芯谢褟 胁 薪芯胁懈褟 褋械褉懈邪谢 薪邪 鈥炐澬感盒敌恍拘葱敌拘解€� 鈥炐愋�-袣邪褉谢懈鈥� 褌褟 斜褗褉蟹芯 褋褌邪胁邪 懈蟹胁械褋褌薪邪. 袙褗锌褉械泻懈 褔械 屑邪屑邪 械 胁 械褍褎芯褉懈褟, 懈蟹锌褉邪褖邪泄泻懈 懈屑械泄谢懈 薪邪 屑芯写械褉邪褌芯褉懈褌械 薪邪 褎械薪 泻谢褍斜芯胁械 懈 褋斜谢懈卸邪胁邪泄泻懈 褋械 褋 锌邪锌邪褉邪褑懈褌械 (鈥炐椥囱€邪褋褌懈, 袚谢械薪!鈥�), 袛卸械薪械褌 械 懈蟹锌褗谢薪械薪邪 褋 褌褉械胁芯谐邪, 褋褉邪屑 懈 褋械斜械芯屑褉邪蟹邪, 泻芯懈褌芯 褋械 锌褉械胁褉褗褖邪褌 胁 褏褉邪薪懈褌械谢薪懈 褉邪蟹褋褌褉芯泄褋褌胁邪, 蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑芯褋褌懈 懈 锌芯褉械写懈褑邪 芯褌 薪械蟹写褉邪胁芯褋谢芯胁薪懈 胁褉褗蟹泻懈. 孝械蟹懈 锌褉芯斜谢械屑懈 褋械 蟹邪写褗谢斜芯褔邪胁邪褌, 泻芯谐邪褌芯 褋泻芯褉芯 褋谢械写 泻邪褌芯 锌芯械屑邪 谐谢邪胁薪邪褌邪 褉芯谢褟 胁 锌褉芯写褗谢卸械薪懈械褌芯 薪邪 鈥炐愋�-袣邪褉谢懈鈥� 鈥� 褋械褉懈邪谢邪, 薪邪褉械褔械薪 鈥炐⌒靶� 懈 袣邪褌鈥�, 蟹邪械写薪芯 褋 袗褉懈邪薪邪 袚褉邪薪写械, 屑邪泄泻邪 泄 褍屑懈褉邪 芯褌 褉邪泻. 袠 薪邪泄-褋械褌薪械, 褔邪泻 褋谢械写 泻邪褌芯 蟹邪锌芯褔胁邪 写邪 锌芯褋械褖邪胁邪 褌械褉邪锌械胁褌 懈 褋械 芯褌泻邪蟹胁邪 芯褌 邪泻褌褜芯褉褋泻邪褌邪 锌褉芯褎械褋懈褟, 袛卸械薪械褌 褋械 褎芯泻褍褋懈褉邪 胁褗褉褏褍 褋芯斜褋褌胁械薪芯褌芯 褋懈 胁褗蟹褋褌邪薪芯胁褟胁邪薪械 懈 蟹邪 锌褗褉胁懈 锌褗褌 胁 卸懈胁芯褌邪 褋懈 锌芯谢褍褔邪胁邪 胁褗蟹屑芯卸薪芯褋褌 写邪 褉械褕邪胁邪 褋邪屑邪 蟹邪 褋械斜械 褋懈 泻邪泻胁懈 褋邪 薪械泄薪懈褌械 懈褋褌懈薪褋泻懈 卸械谢邪薪懈褟.
袧邪锌懈褋邪薪邪 锌褉褟屑芯, 懈褋泻褉械薪芯 懈 褋 写芯蟹邪 褔械褉械薪 褏褍屑芯褉, 泻薪懈谐邪褌邪 鈥炐犘靶葱残靶� 褋械, 褔械 屑邪屑邪 褍屑褉褟鈥� 械 胁写褗褏薪芯胁褟胁邪褖 褉邪蟹泻邪蟹 蟹邪 褍褋褌芯泄褔懈胁芯褋褌, 薪械蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑芯褋褌 懈 褉邪写芯褋褌褌邪 芯褌 褋邪屑芯褋褌芯褟褌械谢薪芯褌芯 屑懈械薪械 薪邪 泻芯褋邪褌邪.
400 pages, Paperback
First published August 9, 2022
42k people are currently reading
914k people want to read
About the author
Jennette McCurdy
2听books8,193听followersJennette McCurdy got her start in child acting, which by her late teen years had brought her success (she starred in Nickelodeon's hit show iCarly and her own spin-off, Sam & Cat). She went on to star in the Netflix series Between, and had a short-lived country music career with Capitol Records Nashville. Despite her outside success, McCurdy felt ashamed of 90% of her resume and ultimately unfulfilled, so she turned to alcohol, but since that didn't work, she quit acting and began pursuing writing/directing in 2017. She has written/directed a pilot and four short films. Her work has been featured in/on The Hollywood Reporter, Short of the Week, Florida Film Festival, Salute Your Shorts, and many more. She has written articles for Huffington Post and the Wall Street Journal. Her one-woman show 鈥淚鈥檓 Glad My Mom Died鈥� had a sold-out run at Lyric Hyperion Theatre. She hosts a podcast called 鈥淓mpty Inside鈥�, where she speaks with guests about uncomfortable topics.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 130,211 reviews
October 6, 2022
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So in my pre-review of this book, where I lamented about not being able to find a copy anywhere because of all the HYPE (seriously, I could not find a copy of this anywhere and the library had, like, a five-hundred year wait-- thank GOD for my sister sending me a copy as payment for watching her kitten), I said that the people giving this author shit about her choice of title were dickheads. Some people got mad at me about that, but I stand by what I said. Even more so after reading this memoir. I am seriously side-eyeing the people defending the mother, actually, because based on the accounts in this memoir, she was verbally, emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive. Not only that, but she coached her daughter into an eating disorder at age eleven and then managed her to ensure that she continued to starve herself. That's not to mention the stage-parenting, the freak-outs (especially while driving), and the fact that she wiped Jennette when she went to the bathroom well into, like, her preteens (imagine not even trusting your eleven-year-old daughter to wipe her own ass) and showered her into her late teens (sometimes with her older brother and also while giving her breast and vaginal exams, ostensibly to search for cancer, I guess).
What the FUCK.
Here's a hard truth. Some people are shitty people. Some of those shitty people are shitty parents. Being a parent does not give you a free-pass from all wrongs. Especially if you're just doing the whole parenting thing for a little human-sized accessory that you can live all of your failed dreams through. By the end of this book, I was kind of glad Jennette's mother died, too. After living under that kind of suffocating parenting, with gaslighting and serious emotional trauma, not to mention abuse, I would be fucking done. I don't blame Jennette for her feelings. And I love my mother. I'm lucky enough to have a pretty good relationship with her. And a few years ago, my mother got breast cancer, just like the author's mom, and I was so devastated that I felt like I was working in a total fog. I stepped back from social media and it was all I could do to focus on my day job because I was so upset. But I know that other people's experiences aren't like that, and we don't get to dictate how other people mourn (or choose not to). My mother ended up okay, but I would have been really sad if the worst happened, and that's because she was a good mom and she still works hard at being a good person. People who don't try to be good people are owed nothing. Why enshrine the dead if they leave behind a legacy of trash? The title is shocking but only because we tend to airbrush the pasts of the departed.
I'M GLAD MY MOM DIED rejects this premise. In this memoir, Jennette McCurdy lays out her upbringing in painfully explicit detail, starting from her mother's hoarding and growing up in poverty in a house that sounded like it should have been condemned, to the way her mother forced her into acting and she ended up being the golden goose that kept her family afloat after years of living hand to mouth. She talks about the way her mother emotionally manipulated her, and her guilt. She talks about how she started to get body dysmorphia because she felt like the only way she could continue to be successful was to look like a child forever, and when she expressed this fear to her mom, her mom taught her how to starve herself, starting an eating disorder that would basically rule her emotional breaks and her relationship with food for over a decade. She talks about her hatred of acting, what it was like working under the man she calls "The Creator" at Nickelodeon (we know who), her friendship with Miranda, and her jealousy and resentment of Ariana. And then she writes about her utterly conflicting feelings when her mother began to die of another bout of cancer, still manipulating her emotions.
This book stressed me out so much. I think it would be very triggering for people with eating disorders and people with abusive parents, as it is SO descriptive when it comes to these passages. It's also a brand new look into celebrity, because most celebrity memoirs are written by people who are still in the business, but this is kind of a fuck-you memoir written by someone who doesn't care if their bridges are burned, so she really unhauls all the dirt in a way that someone who probably wanted to keep working in this field wouldn't. It's really well-written but the writing can, at times, feel a bit amateurish. McCurdy has a lot of raw talent but the people hyping her up as brilliant are exaggerating a little.
ALSO, who the fuck is calling this book a "hilarious" memoir? Are these the same people who were talking about how "funny" CRYING IN H MART was? Is this where we open up the floor to a conversation about how women's emotional pain and fraught relationships are often mined for comedic value? Why do people find it so amusing when women hate their mothers? My review is already getting longer than I intended it to, but this is definitely a trend I've noticed lately where I'll pick up a memoir that's supposed to be funny and instead it's just an emotionally wrenching book about a woman dealing with her trauma. Ha-ha, I guess. Fuck that.
Do read this book, if you are in a healthy mental space, but gird yourself against the hype. It is not Jesus's Second Coming. It is just a very brave story about a woman trying to come clean with herself and the past.
4 stars
November 3, 2022
I'm Glad Her Mom Died Too
"Why do we romanticize the dead...?
Indeed. Why do we?
Before this book came out, my knowledge of Jennette McCurdy only extended to random gifs featuring her iCarly character, Sam Puckett. I didn't actually know who she was and what they were from, I just knew they were funny and fit my "book review" purposes.
Here's an example:
When this book dropped, however, I was drawn to the title, the gloriously vintage macabre book cover, and the fact that it was getting rave reviews.
I was excited to read this and loved the cover so much that I purchased the hardcover drop instead of waiting for my library hold. I initially started this in early September, but for personal reasons I won't get into, I had to set it down for a bit. I have almost no triggers and can read pretty much anything without being all that affected, but - again - for personal reasons I won't get into, I found the details of Jennette's mother's behavior, narcissism, and emotional manipulation to be extremely triggering. And don't even get me started on the eating disorder triggers. I was also amidst a fairly stressful period in my work life, so I decided to wait until that was over before picking this back up.
Fast forward a little over a month and my library audiobook hold was by then available, so I decided to jump back in with that format. Let me just say that I can't recommend the audiobook version of this highly enough. It is obviously read by Jennette McCurdy herself and I think she does a great job of it.
I think the dichotomies of Jennette's life and story are very interesting and well explained. She is able to get across very nuanced and contradictory sentiments without sounding like a complete whiner. And that's a really hard thing to accomplish in practice.
For example, she is able to outline how, despite understanding how privileged and "lucky" she was to be famous and on TV, she loathed acting, a lot of the fans, and the experiences that came with it all.
^See how assholey that's sounds just me saying it? Well, she nails it in the book, I promise you.
I also felt very connected to Jennette and had a lot of empathy for her. I grew up in LA County and am VERY familiar with almost every location she references in the LA/Orange County area. I literally drive by the Westminster Mall (which she references being that she grew up in Garden Grove, and which is basically a nonexistent ghost mall now) every day on the freeway on my way to work.
Also, I know I said I didn't want to get too woo-woo personal, but I will just say this: I deeply connected to Jennette in terms of understanding the longstanding effects (as a child who doesn't know any better) of being made to feel like you are responsible for the state of mind and emotions of another person - an ADULT person. For years.
It steals your childhood, stunts you emotionally, and really takes a long time to work through.
Some people should just NOT have children, folks. It's just that simple. I mean, what they say really is true: a lot of people spend their adulthood just trying to get over their childhoods. And that's even true for "GOOD" parents.
But I digress.
I liked how self-aware Jennette is. Or, at least, how self-aware she appeared to be in this book. That said, I also feel like this memoir came a little soon in terms of Jennette's recovery. She's very, very new to being on "the other side" of things. Although perhaps this book is a part of that, and so I can't fault her for that. And who am I to judge or criticize.
Overall, this book was a great account of a very unique human experience. I will definitely check out any future books or content Jennette puts out in the future. And I'm rooting for her, her recovery, and her happiness.
"Why do we romanticize the dead...?
Indeed. Why do we?
Before this book came out, my knowledge of Jennette McCurdy only extended to random gifs featuring her iCarly character, Sam Puckett. I didn't actually know who she was and what they were from, I just knew they were funny and fit my "book review" purposes.
Here's an example:
When this book dropped, however, I was drawn to the title, the gloriously vintage macabre book cover, and the fact that it was getting rave reviews.
I was excited to read this and loved the cover so much that I purchased the hardcover drop instead of waiting for my library hold. I initially started this in early September, but for personal reasons I won't get into, I had to set it down for a bit. I have almost no triggers and can read pretty much anything without being all that affected, but - again - for personal reasons I won't get into, I found the details of Jennette's mother's behavior, narcissism, and emotional manipulation to be extremely triggering. And don't even get me started on the eating disorder triggers. I was also amidst a fairly stressful period in my work life, so I decided to wait until that was over before picking this back up.
Fast forward a little over a month and my library audiobook hold was by then available, so I decided to jump back in with that format. Let me just say that I can't recommend the audiobook version of this highly enough. It is obviously read by Jennette McCurdy herself and I think she does a great job of it.
I think the dichotomies of Jennette's life and story are very interesting and well explained. She is able to get across very nuanced and contradictory sentiments without sounding like a complete whiner. And that's a really hard thing to accomplish in practice.
For example, she is able to outline how, despite understanding how privileged and "lucky" she was to be famous and on TV, she loathed acting, a lot of the fans, and the experiences that came with it all.
^See how assholey that's sounds just me saying it? Well, she nails it in the book, I promise you.
I also felt very connected to Jennette and had a lot of empathy for her. I grew up in LA County and am VERY familiar with almost every location she references in the LA/Orange County area. I literally drive by the Westminster Mall (which she references being that she grew up in Garden Grove, and which is basically a nonexistent ghost mall now) every day on the freeway on my way to work.
Also, I know I said I didn't want to get too woo-woo personal, but I will just say this: I deeply connected to Jennette in terms of understanding the longstanding effects (as a child who doesn't know any better) of being made to feel like you are responsible for the state of mind and emotions of another person - an ADULT person. For years.
It steals your childhood, stunts you emotionally, and really takes a long time to work through.
Some people should just NOT have children, folks. It's just that simple. I mean, what they say really is true: a lot of people spend their adulthood just trying to get over their childhoods. And that's even true for "GOOD" parents.
But I digress.
I liked how self-aware Jennette is. Or, at least, how self-aware she appeared to be in this book. That said, I also feel like this memoir came a little soon in terms of Jennette's recovery. She's very, very new to being on "the other side" of things. Although perhaps this book is a part of that, and so I can't fault her for that. And who am I to judge or criticize.
Overall, this book was a great account of a very unique human experience. I will definitely check out any future books or content Jennette puts out in the future. And I'm rooting for her, her recovery, and her happiness.
December 30, 2022
praying that Jennette makes more from this book than Nickelodeon could鈥檝e ever offered with their hush money
A truly incredible and hard-hitting memoir. Whether you watched Jennette鈥檚 shows growing up (like me) or you don鈥檛 know her at all, I think this book is a must read. I don鈥檛 want to go into too many details, so I鈥檒l just share some of my thoughts:
鈥� The writing is easy to read but still poignant. I think Jennette did a great job recounting the events of her life. I especially appreciate how she recounted her childhood; she really nailed writing from the perspective of a na茂ve child who doesn鈥檛 realize how awful her mother is.
鈥� I love how truthful Jennette was about her own fuck-ups. She admitted she was very aware of how bitter and rude she had become, and how ungrateful she seemed (obviously, I think she was justified).
鈥� I particularly loved the section about Jennette鈥檚 time on 鈥淪am & Cat鈥�. It showed how much her addiction, mental illnesses and eating disorders affected her work; how much Nickelodeon mistreated her, especially when compared to Ariana Grande; and how resentful she had grown over the years.
鈥� The exploitation of children in the entertainment industry is something that really needs to be discussed. Seeing a child star expose the abuse she suffered in the industry is truly heartbreaking, but extremely important, especially in this day and age, where even more parents are pressuring their children and forcing them to put themselves out there for fame. I wonder if in 10 years we鈥檒l see similar testimonies from kids of family channels who grew up making money for their parents in an even more disgusting way: by having they entire lives documented and posted online for all to see.
鈥� Jennette鈥檚 friendship with Miranda was so wholesome <3
鈥� A bit of a critique: I feel like certain events were skipped and only mentioned later in the timeline (for example: we never see her audition for iCarly, or how filming the 1st episode was, suddenly it was already 3 years into the filming of the show, out of nowhere we find out that she鈥檇 been to multiple events and red carpets, she randomly mentions she knows she has OCD and EDs 鈥� I guess she learned and came to terms with it off-page鈥�). Obviously, this is a memoir, so the author knows better than me what was important to document, but still, some of these things seemed kind of crucial in my opinion (especially her learning about her disorders).
鈥� The main reasons I鈥檓 giving it 4 stars is because memoirs are not really my thing, so I ended up not enjoying this as much as the other books I give 5 stars to; and because, as I mentioned, I think some things could鈥檝e been a bit better. But, again, I still loved this book and highly recommend it to everyone!
(review written on 24/08/2022)
---
this title is BRUTAL 馃拃
i'm so happy for her 馃槍 can't wait to read it!!
(06/04/2022)
A truly incredible and hard-hitting memoir. Whether you watched Jennette鈥檚 shows growing up (like me) or you don鈥檛 know her at all, I think this book is a must read. I don鈥檛 want to go into too many details, so I鈥檒l just share some of my thoughts:
鈥� The writing is easy to read but still poignant. I think Jennette did a great job recounting the events of her life. I especially appreciate how she recounted her childhood; she really nailed writing from the perspective of a na茂ve child who doesn鈥檛 realize how awful her mother is.
鈥� I love how truthful Jennette was about her own fuck-ups. She admitted she was very aware of how bitter and rude she had become, and how ungrateful she seemed (
鈥� I particularly loved the section about Jennette鈥檚 time on 鈥淪am & Cat鈥�. It showed how much her addiction, mental illnesses and eating disorders affected her work; how much Nickelodeon mistreated her, especially when compared to Ariana Grande; and how resentful she had grown over the years.
鈥� The exploitation of children in the entertainment industry is something that really needs to be discussed. Seeing a child star expose the abuse she suffered in the industry is truly heartbreaking, but extremely important, especially in this day and age, where even more parents are pressuring their children and forcing them to put themselves out there for fame. I wonder if in 10 years we鈥檒l see similar testimonies from kids of family channels who grew up making money for their parents in an even more disgusting way: by having they entire lives documented and posted online for all to see.
鈥� Jennette鈥檚 friendship with Miranda was so wholesome <3
鈥� A bit of a critique: I feel like certain events were skipped and only mentioned later in the timeline (for example: we never see her audition for iCarly, or how filming the 1st episode was, suddenly it was already 3 years into the filming of the show, out of nowhere we find out that she鈥檇 been to multiple events and red carpets, she randomly mentions she knows she has OCD and EDs 鈥� I guess she learned and came to terms with it off-page鈥�). Obviously, this is a memoir, so the author knows better than me what was important to document, but still, some of these things seemed kind of crucial in my opinion (especially her learning about her disorders).
鈥� The main reasons I鈥檓 giving it 4 stars is because memoirs are not really my thing, so I ended up not enjoying this as much as the other books I give 5 stars to; and because, as I mentioned, I think some things could鈥檝e been a bit better. But, again, I still loved this book and highly recommend it to everyone!
(review written on 24/08/2022)
---
this title is BRUTAL 馃拃
i'm so happy for her 馃槍 can't wait to read it!!
(06/04/2022)
August 15, 2024
Shall we light it up?
A bridge.
It鈥檚 time.
When I was in middle school, my mother told me that my glasses were ugly, that the children would call me Four-Eyes. Interesting Fact: No one has ever called me this but my mother.
She taught me a cabbage soup diet and how to put on trash bags and go running to lose weight.
At the end of a long day, my mom swung by a fast-food restaurant. She demanded that I go up and see what the operating hours were. Being super introverted, I hesitated. She started screaming, letting off a stream of obscenities.
While I was in college in my early 20鈥檚, I stopped by my mother鈥檚 apartment for a visit. She walked right by me in the parking lot. She said that I was so fat that I looked pregnant, and she didn鈥檛 recognize me.
When I was making $6.70 per hour, working part-time at Sears, my mother asked that I purchase a $200 set of pajamas for her. When I explained that I didn鈥檛 even have $200 to my name, was she sympathetic? No way. She laid into a guilt trip. Did I love her? Didn鈥檛 she do so much for me?
What has that to do with I鈥檓 Glad My Mom Died?
I know firsthand what it is like to live with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder, and Jennette鈥檚 mom has the classic symptoms. This book really resonated with me.
I鈥檓 Glad My Mom Died is an important work. It lets other people know that they aren鈥檛 alone, especially if their parents aren鈥檛 top 10% parents. Some parents are bottom 10% parents.
It has been a long time since I have felt seen. The last book that I felt really conveyed the complexity of a dysfunctional parent-child relationship is The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls.
Did I spend years trying to win my mother鈥檚 love? Yes. But do I want to be the person that she would love? No.
Because I value honesty and intellect. Because I don鈥檛 define my self-worth by beauty or popularity.
Having a mother with borderline personality disorder has a profound impact on a child鈥檚 development. Here is one study by the National Library of Medicine:
It鈥檚 time we end the silence.
2025 Reading Schedule
Jan A Town Like Alice
Feb Birdsong
Mar Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Berniere
Apr War and Peace
May The Woman in White
Jun Atonement
Jul The Shadow of the Wind
Aug Jude the Obscure
Sep Ulysses
Oct Vanity Fair
Nov A Fine Balance
Dec Germinal
Connect With Me!
A bridge.
It鈥檚 time.
When I was in middle school, my mother told me that my glasses were ugly, that the children would call me Four-Eyes. Interesting Fact: No one has ever called me this but my mother.
She taught me a cabbage soup diet and how to put on trash bags and go running to lose weight.
At the end of a long day, my mom swung by a fast-food restaurant. She demanded that I go up and see what the operating hours were. Being super introverted, I hesitated. She started screaming, letting off a stream of obscenities.
While I was in college in my early 20鈥檚, I stopped by my mother鈥檚 apartment for a visit. She walked right by me in the parking lot. She said that I was so fat that I looked pregnant, and she didn鈥檛 recognize me.
When I was making $6.70 per hour, working part-time at Sears, my mother asked that I purchase a $200 set of pajamas for her. When I explained that I didn鈥檛 even have $200 to my name, was she sympathetic? No way. She laid into a guilt trip. Did I love her? Didn鈥檛 she do so much for me?
What has that to do with I鈥檓 Glad My Mom Died?
I know firsthand what it is like to live with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder, and Jennette鈥檚 mom has the classic symptoms. This book really resonated with me.
I鈥檓 Glad My Mom Died is an important work. It lets other people know that they aren鈥檛 alone, especially if their parents aren鈥檛 top 10% parents. Some parents are bottom 10% parents.
It has been a long time since I have felt seen. The last book that I felt really conveyed the complexity of a dysfunctional parent-child relationship is The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls.
Did I spend years trying to win my mother鈥檚 love? Yes. But do I want to be the person that she would love? No.
Because I value honesty and intellect. Because I don鈥檛 define my self-worth by beauty or popularity.
Having a mother with borderline personality disorder has a profound impact on a child鈥檚 development. Here is one study by the National Library of Medicine:
It鈥檚 time we end the silence.
2025 Reading Schedule
Jan A Town Like Alice
Feb Birdsong
Mar Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Berniere
Apr War and Peace
May The Woman in White
Jun Atonement
Jul The Shadow of the Wind
Aug Jude the Obscure
Sep Ulysses
Oct Vanity Fair
Nov A Fine Balance
Dec Germinal
Connect With Me!
November 12, 2023
this is a very candid account on the abuse jennette mccurdy suffered at the hands of her narcissistic mother, and how that merged with her experience as a child actress. i don鈥檛 think you need to be familiar with her show, or even know/care about her as a person to glean lots from this book, and i think it's an important text that could even be considered historical, due to her nature as a public figure and the way her story is likely representative of a much larger population of child actors.
for those hoping to get a 鈥渢ea sesh鈥� about the abuse rampant at nickelodeon, you won鈥檛 be getting that here, despite it being what the major media outlets are currently fixating on. jennette doesn鈥檛 shy away from talking about her experience with sam & cat (she hated it) and her experience with dan schnieder (terrible person, obviously, whom she never refers to by name), and even dedicates a short chapter to ariana grande, but this novel isn鈥檛 centered around that in the slightest, and to come into this book only for that would be a disservice to jennette's story.
reading about the abuse jennette experienced firsthand is completely heartbreaking. she writes about having an eating disorder, given to her by her mother, and feeling beholden to her mother at all times. from calling her ten times a day to insisting on showering her even as a teenager, this book is full of triggering content, and i would urge those who have experiences abuse to proceed with caution.
i think especially with gen z, we haven鈥檛 had a ton of actors from disney and nickelodeon speak out specifically about their experiences on set (the $300,000 offer from Nickelodeon jennette turned down may explain that) and how child acting impacted their lives, and it鈥檚 a very necessary perspective to hear as the consumers of that media. hearing some of the things jennette said about her stardom were jarring, in that as children we don鈥檛 really know what鈥檚 going on behind the scenes and mindlessly consume without regard to the actors lives. i also thought it was super interesting to get the perspective of a very self aware child star that didn鈥檛 become super successful on screen after their breakout role, and the narrative she builds around /why/ that was.
this book was super impactful, and i have no doubt will reach a large audience. mccurdy's writing style is succinct yet impactful, well organized, balanced with seriousness and humor, told in a very blunt tone. i would definitely recommend listening to the book via audiobook which is narrated by her because it adds a whole new layer of tone. this was a tough reading experience, but i really loved the book and would highly recommend to everyone.
Thank you to & schuster for the free arc!
for those hoping to get a 鈥渢ea sesh鈥� about the abuse rampant at nickelodeon, you won鈥檛 be getting that here, despite it being what the major media outlets are currently fixating on. jennette doesn鈥檛 shy away from talking about her experience with sam & cat (she hated it) and her experience with dan schnieder (terrible person, obviously, whom she never refers to by name), and even dedicates a short chapter to ariana grande, but this novel isn鈥檛 centered around that in the slightest, and to come into this book only for that would be a disservice to jennette's story.
reading about the abuse jennette experienced firsthand is completely heartbreaking. she writes about having an eating disorder, given to her by her mother, and feeling beholden to her mother at all times. from calling her ten times a day to insisting on showering her even as a teenager, this book is full of triggering content, and i would urge those who have experiences abuse to proceed with caution.
i think especially with gen z, we haven鈥檛 had a ton of actors from disney and nickelodeon speak out specifically about their experiences on set (the $300,000 offer from Nickelodeon jennette turned down may explain that) and how child acting impacted their lives, and it鈥檚 a very necessary perspective to hear as the consumers of that media. hearing some of the things jennette said about her stardom were jarring, in that as children we don鈥檛 really know what鈥檚 going on behind the scenes and mindlessly consume without regard to the actors lives. i also thought it was super interesting to get the perspective of a very self aware child star that didn鈥檛 become super successful on screen after their breakout role, and the narrative she builds around /why/ that was.
this book was super impactful, and i have no doubt will reach a large audience. mccurdy's writing style is succinct yet impactful, well organized, balanced with seriousness and humor, told in a very blunt tone. i would definitely recommend listening to the book via audiobook which is narrated by her because it adds a whole new layer of tone. this was a tough reading experience, but i really loved the book and would highly recommend to everyone.
Thank you to & schuster for the free arc!
February 16, 2024
I鈥檝e known for so long that my relationship with acting is a complicated one. Not dissimilar to my relationship with food and my body.
Both of them feel like constant pulling, yearning, begging, fighting. I鈥檓 trying desperately to get their approval, their affection, and I never quite seem to. I鈥檓 never quite good enough.
I cannot give this less than five stars, but it was horrible to read.
This memoir wasn't initially on my radar because I wouldn't know McCurdy if she showed up at my front door. However, in the hours since I've finished this, I've felt compelled to familiarise myself with clips on Youtube. It gives me a chill to think that this bright talented young girl was concealing so much pain.
The title is arresting, as it's supposed to be, but it's far more than just clickbait. McCurdy as an adult wrestles with her perception of her childhood and the pedestal she put her mother on. The mother who aggressively pushed her into acting, despite her protestations, then encouraged her anorexia and lied to doctors about it.
It is hard, harder perhaps than I can even imagine, to revisit your past and understand that a person you have loved, admired and tried so long to impress has been a toxic presence in your life.
People seem to assign thin with 鈥済ood,鈥� heavy with 鈥渂ad,鈥� and too thin also with 鈥渂ad.鈥� There鈥檚 such a small window of 鈥済ood.鈥�
As well as this, it's a portrait of the ugly side of child acting. Reading this, I found myself feeling that surely no child can give informed consent to becoming an actor. They are pushed and pulled between adults who fixate on their appearance, who criticise them, build them up and reject them. No wonder former child actors have such a high rate of substance abuse and mental illness.
McCurdy's experiences at home and within the industry left her with an unhealthy relationship with food, her body and being a woman, a relationship that she is finally beginning to reckon with after both her mother's death and her own decision to quit acting.
Though I did not know her before starting this memoir, this book invited me deep inside her experiences. I now feel an overwhelming desperation for McCurdy to overcome the trauma of her past and find peace.
August 19, 2022
As someone who鈥檚 never watched Nickelodeon or anything with this author, I was still highly engrossed in Jennette's story. You can tell she鈥檚 more passionate about writing than acting because her writing is of a higher caliber than other celebrity memoirs that were likely ghost-written. She describes events chronologically in such a detailed and engaging way, picking specific memories to demonstrate the dysfunction of her childhood. I appreciated her honesty, dry humor, and even her bitterness and negativity. Her train of thought is very similar to my own mentality (irritability, cynicism, being extremely critical of ourselves, etc) and having that mirrored back from another deeply wounded person was eye-opening. It makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one who processes life this way... Can we do group therapy together, Jennette?!
While I appreciate the level of detail in recalling these events (no easy feat for those dealing with trauma), I would鈥檝e loved to see more reflections of the themes across the book, like her present-day thoughts on her family, Hollywood, child stardom, body image, etc. As well as her learnings from therapy that she鈥檚 incorporating moving forward, just to give the rest of us more hope! Regardless, I look forward to seeing her future work and wish her nothing but happiness.
While I appreciate the level of detail in recalling these events (no easy feat for those dealing with trauma), I would鈥檝e loved to see more reflections of the themes across the book, like her present-day thoughts on her family, Hollywood, child stardom, body image, etc. As well as her learnings from therapy that she鈥檚 incorporating moving forward, just to give the rest of us more hope! Regardless, I look forward to seeing her future work and wish her nothing but happiness.
September 30, 2022
Jennette McCurdy is extremely talented in her writing and i hope she writes more in the future (whatever genre idc, i鈥檒l read anything) because this book alone was a literary masterpiece.
it鈥檚 very fast pace. i appreciated how Jennette didn鈥檛 go into a ton of detail regarding certain subjects. it was just 鈥測up this is was it is, this is how it is, and this is what i鈥檓 doing about it鈥� it was very raw and real in my opinion. no flowery language
one thing i鈥檝e seen a lot of people say about this book is 鈥渨ow she鈥檚 so funny, her humor is great, ect.鈥� which i don鈥檛 entirely understand since everything Jennette went through and described in this book was devastating. from the multiple forms of abuse, eating disorders, and having to grow up too fast鈥�.um where is the humor in that?! i did listen to the audiobook with this (which jennette also narrated) and there鈥檚 points in which you hear her actually crying.
nonetheless, i鈥檓 glad to see Jennette thriving in her writing career which she always wanted. i wish her nothing but the best for her.
it鈥檚 very fast pace. i appreciated how Jennette didn鈥檛 go into a ton of detail regarding certain subjects. it was just 鈥測up this is was it is, this is how it is, and this is what i鈥檓 doing about it鈥� it was very raw and real in my opinion. no flowery language
one thing i鈥檝e seen a lot of people say about this book is 鈥渨ow she鈥檚 so funny, her humor is great, ect.鈥� which i don鈥檛 entirely understand since everything Jennette went through and described in this book was devastating. from the multiple forms of abuse, eating disorders, and having to grow up too fast鈥�.um where is the humor in that?! i did listen to the audiobook with this (which jennette also narrated) and there鈥檚 points in which you hear her actually crying.
nonetheless, i鈥檓 glad to see Jennette thriving in her writing career which she always wanted. i wish her nothing but the best for her.
December 18, 2022
Whoever said this was: impressively funny???? Was tripping on the cleanest weed out there.
I think this is an important book. I love that she was brave enough to write about her life as a child actress, to write about her narcissistic and abusive mother. This auto biography is intense, well written and unbelievably raw.
But it still is a book about a girl who was sexually, physically and emotionally abused by her own mother. Please, keep that in mind before you pick this up.
The title might be silly, but there isn鈥檛 a single drop of humor here. This is the most depressing thing I鈥檝e ever read.
Again, I am glad it exists. I am so proud of this girl for being brave enough to put all of this out in the world. I am sure this will help other people who have been through the same.
I just don鈥檛 think this was properly advertised. This is one of the most intense, gut wrenching and uncomfortable stories you鈥檒l ever read. So make sure you鈥檙e ok mentally before you go through it.
September 23, 2023
I really appreciated Jeannette鈥檚 writing style in this book. She鈥檚 very cut and dry and to the point. No flowery language or metaphors. That writing style made it feel really raw, transparent, and honest. And it very much feels like Jeannette鈥檚 voice.
I would also really recommend the audiobook. It was so incredible to hear her story in her voice.
The book starts out in Jeannette鈥檚 childhood and then progresses to her acting days and then to her adult life post acting. It was a devastating yet eye opening journey to see her come to terms with how much her childhood hugely negatively impacted her life and ruined so many healthy habits she should鈥檝e had in her adult life. And to see how the abusive from her mom was a huge huge part of that.
Would highly recommend as long as you check the trigger warnings first!
I would also really recommend the audiobook. It was so incredible to hear her story in her voice.
The book starts out in Jeannette鈥檚 childhood and then progresses to her acting days and then to her adult life post acting. It was a devastating yet eye opening journey to see her come to terms with how much her childhood hugely negatively impacted her life and ruined so many healthy habits she should鈥檝e had in her adult life. And to see how the abusive from her mom was a huge huge part of that.
Would highly recommend as long as you check the trigger warnings first!
Read
August 10, 2022I feel weird giving someone's personal experience a rating so I'm leaving this un-rated, but please know that this was really something incredible. I absolutely recommend checking this one out if you're at all familiar with Jennette, but please do tread with caution if you're sensitive to discussions of eating disorders as this revolves pretty heavily around her struggles with disordered eating and bulimia.
CW: child abuse, narcissistic parents, disordered eating, fatphobia, terminal illness (breast cancer), hoarding, use of r-slur, depictions of ocd, depictions of bulimia/purging, gaslighting, emotional manipulation
CW: child abuse, narcissistic parents, disordered eating, fatphobia, terminal illness (breast cancer), hoarding, use of r-slur, depictions of ocd, depictions of bulimia/purging, gaslighting, emotional manipulation
December 1, 2022
the hype is right.
this is what everyone says it is: an excellent debut, a memoir that doesn't pull punches, honest, clear-eyed, and well-written.
am i glad i read it? no. this is a grueling read that i picked up based on just how often i heard it spoken of, a level of public discussion i have to assume had to do with the guilty thrill of finding out horrible secrets about people whose faces we see every day.
but that's what celebrity memoir is all about. secrets sell and it certainly isn't the author's fault that that's started rubbing me the wrong way.
bottom line: an excellent example of a genre i'm going to try to steer clear of.
this is what everyone says it is: an excellent debut, a memoir that doesn't pull punches, honest, clear-eyed, and well-written.
am i glad i read it? no. this is a grueling read that i picked up based on just how often i heard it spoken of, a level of public discussion i have to assume had to do with the guilty thrill of finding out horrible secrets about people whose faces we see every day.
but that's what celebrity memoir is all about. secrets sell and it certainly isn't the author's fault that that's started rubbing me the wrong way.
bottom line: an excellent example of a genre i'm going to try to steer clear of.
Read
August 6, 2022Jennette McCurdy writes a hard-hitting and propulsive memoir. I knew I鈥檇 be reading this the moment I came across the ballsy title/cover a few months ago, and am happy to report it did not disappoint. Well worth it if you grew up watching her on TV, or if you want to have a long think about the exploitation of child actors in Hollywood.
February 1, 2024
Immediate 5 star. Especially as a childhood iCarly fan, wow what these kids had to go through. Even though she doesn鈥檛 like hugs, I want to give Jennette a hug after finishing this one. You NEED to listen to it on audio!!!!
August 9, 2022
I鈥檓 glad her mom died too.
Read
August 12, 2022really really hard to read but really insightful and well written. audiobook was particularly great.
August 18, 2022
more child celebrities should write books methinks
October 4, 2022
for the record, i'm glad her mom died too
August 15, 2022
i am going to read the shit out of this book
April 1, 2025
THIS DESERVES EVERY OUNCE OF HYPE IT'S BEEN BLESSED WITH!
Warning to look up trigger warnings before proceeding. There is a LOT of triggering content in this book. It doesn't shy away from facing problems head on and with an unflinching tone.
I adored this book. It is so rare for me to be impacted this deeply.
When I tell you I stayed up until 5 am to finish this book because I simply couldn't sleep without knowing Jennette would be okay.
I grew up on iCarly. I love Sam. I watched this show with no inkling of an idea of what Jennette was going through. The fact that there are people out there that did know *cough* Dan *cough*, is sickening to me.
This isn't JUST a look at how horrifying Hollywood is, especially child stars, but it's also a harrowing depiction of how manipulative love can be. The way a parent's all consuming love for their child can be weaponized and watered to grow into something this vile and life altering is absolute insanity.
I truly wish the absolute best for Jennette McCurdy. I know she'll never see this. But my heart goes out to her and everything she has been forced to face. I hope she is awarded every ounce of happiness that a life can possibly offer. She deserves a life of no red lights, no lines, no pauses before 'I love you's. She impacted me so much with her honesty and I can't thank her enough for writing not only a horrifying story but also a damn good book.
Warning to look up trigger warnings before proceeding. There is a LOT of triggering content in this book. It doesn't shy away from facing problems head on and with an unflinching tone.
I adored this book. It is so rare for me to be impacted this deeply.
When I tell you I stayed up until 5 am to finish this book because I simply couldn't sleep without knowing Jennette would be okay.
I grew up on iCarly. I love Sam. I watched this show with no inkling of an idea of what Jennette was going through. The fact that there are people out there that did know *cough* Dan *cough*, is sickening to me.
This isn't JUST a look at how horrifying Hollywood is, especially child stars, but it's also a harrowing depiction of how manipulative love can be. The way a parent's all consuming love for their child can be weaponized and watered to grow into something this vile and life altering is absolute insanity.
I truly wish the absolute best for Jennette McCurdy. I know she'll never see this. But my heart goes out to her and everything she has been forced to face. I hope she is awarded every ounce of happiness that a life can possibly offer. She deserves a life of no red lights, no lines, no pauses before 'I love you's. She impacted me so much with her honesty and I can't thank her enough for writing not only a horrifying story but also a damn good book.
January 9, 2023
Shit, I'm glad her Mom died too.
August 12, 2022
I鈥檓 happy Jennette was able to tell her story and show how terrible it is to have such an abusive mom and what the entertainment industry can do to a child.
My rating does not reflect how true and important the telling of her story is.
The writing of the story however, was very painful to get through. It could have been edited better with how repetitive it is. It also has no self reflecting within the story, not that she isn鈥檛 a victim cuz she is. How she viewed other women and other women friendships also bothered me. I can see how coming from such a competitive career like acting could HAVE caused that but, I would HAVE loved to see some self-reflecting on that part as well.
My rating does not reflect how true and important the telling of her story is.
The writing of the story however, was very painful to get through. It could have been edited better with how repetitive it is. It also has no self reflecting within the story, not that she isn鈥檛 a victim cuz she is. How she viewed other women and other women friendships also bothered me. I can see how coming from such a competitive career like acting could HAVE caused that but, I would HAVE loved to see some self-reflecting on that part as well.
February 27, 2023
I was not a huge fan of Nickelodeon, and I watched their shows only once in a while during my childhood. Drake & Josh and iCarly were the two shows I watched. I particularly remember the part where Sam (Jennette McCurdy) talks about reading in iCarly, which became a famous meme.
Her acting in iCarly was spot on and funny. Jennette did a brilliant job while acting, which is why people like me who rarely watched the show still remember her.
Whenever we hear the name Jennette McCurdy a bubbly, loud, energetic young lady comes to our mind, as her friend Miranda Cosgrove mentions in this book. This book tells us that there were a lot of hardships and sorrow hidden behind those energetic and brilliant performances.
Seven key ideas from this book
1) If child labor is unethical, aren't child actors too unethical?
During December every year, when it is nearer to Christmas, there is something that everyone all over the world (especially in America) will do. It is to rewatch the Home Alone movie. The family dynamics of the McCallister family, ingenious script by John Huges, brilliant direction by Chris Colombus, fantastic music by John Williams, and extraordinary production design and sets will make us relive our childhood. Home Alone is pure nostalgia for many people.
Apart from everything mentioned above, the biggest factor that brings us back to rewatch Home Alone is the amazing acting by Macaulay Culkin. I was shocked when I heard that he had to sacrifice his entire childhood to entertain us. He was abused both physically and mentally by his jealous father. The law caught him with marijuana possession. He was arrested for speeding and many other illegal activities. The abuse has affected his mental health, which pushed him into addiction.
Parents using their children as money-making machines by making them actors and making them overwork for different movies when they should be going to school has been a severe issue in the life of many child actors. If we closely observe the career graph of child actors, we can see that only very few become great actors when they grow up.
In Jennette's story also, we can see that she was not at all interested in acting. But her mother forced her to act even from the age of six. Nobody even cared to ask her what Jennette liked to do. She tells in this book that she hated acting, which is why she quit acting after her mother died.
If child labor is unethical, then child actors are also unethical. Then the million-dollar question of who will do the children's role in the movies will arise. If child actors were not there, how would they have made movies like Harry Potter, where most of the main actors are children?
鈥淚 HATE ACTING CLASS. Even though it's a chunk of time away from Home, I don't look forward to this class the same way I look forward to church because I find acting even more uncomfortable than being stuck at Home."
2) How did the "Creator" make Jennette's life miserable?
This is another big problem child actors face, the predators on the shooting sets. The author mentions a "creator" who behaved harshly toward her. This same creator also allegedly misbehaved with some other crew members in a sexually inappropriate way.
We have heard about many child stars who were sexually harassed on the shooting sets. Some even make them work overtime, destroying the younger kids' enthusiasm and courage.
I think the only way to prevent child actors from being exploited by parents and crew members is by appointing an internal committee in every shooting set that even has access to mental health care professionals if needed. This committee should ensure that a certain percentage of children's earnings should be solely used for children's personal needs like education. This will prevent the children from being monetarily misused by their parents.
It is challenging to implement this as different countries have different rules and procedures. A very few countries have tried to implement a similar method. But they were all disasters due to their lack of planning and coordination. If Hollywood and people in the USA start implementing it perfectly, all the countries may slowly follow it. A similar rule should be implemented for the children on social media (especially a few family channels on youtube.), even though it will be a little bit more complicated to implement in those cases.
鈥淐ut!鈥� The Creator yells off camera, his mouth full of something."
鈥淏ut our wardrobe designer said that The Creator explicitly asked for bikinis, and so she had to at least have me try on one or two of them so he had the option. 鈥�
3) How are children's life affected by their narcissistic parents?
Falling into a narcissistic romantic relationship is a harrowing experience. Being the daughter of a narcissistic mother is a much more painful experience. This book shows how her mother totally controlled her daughter's life. The author tells us how proper medical help and therapy after such a long physical and mental abuse helped her recover from such abysmal despair.
"My mother emotionally, physically and mentally abused me in ways that will forever impact me."
"I realize that she's happy and I'm not. Her happiness came at the cost of mine. I feel robbed and exploited."
4) Do we need to romanticize the dead?
This is a tough question to answer. Some say objectivity is born after a person dies. It is true that death changes the light in which we see people. But up to what extent? Can mourning alternate realities? These are a few among the many questions I have asked myself after reading one book some time ago on this topic. The author brings this topic back into the limelight.
Some people say it is better to speak about the positive sides of the dead person during the time of grief, but not focus on their negative facets as everybody also has a negative side to their personalities along with the positives. But what will we do if the person only has a negative side and the positive side is almost nil? I think it is better to remain silent than to focus on the negatives during mourning.
These are the questions that we should contemplate a lot before answering. The answers to the above questions vary depending on the individual's personality and character.
鈥淲hy do we romanticize the dead? Why can't we be honest about them? Especially moms, they're the most romanticized of anyone. 鈥�
5) Anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa
Both anorexia and bulimia are eating disorders. In anorexia, people restrict their food intake to lose weight. In bulimia, people will eat an excessive amount of food in a short period of time and then purge them using various methods to prevent weight gain. Both these disorders will cause severe health problems. For example in bulimia due to repeated trauma to the esophagus due to vomiting gastric acidic contents, the person can develop esophageal adenocarcinoma. So, this is a serious medical problem that healthcare professionals should treat.
"Jennette, what you're describing is... really unhealthy. Your mother essentially condoned your anorexia, encouraged it. She... taught it to you. That's abuse."
6) Friendship.
Building a good friendship takes a lot of time, effort, and sacrifice. We can see the author talking about friendships in this book. I remember reading about different types of friendship in a book.
Friendships can be classified into three.
-1) Friendship of pleasure - Friendship ends when the enjoyment and fun end.
- 2) Friendship of convenience - Friendship ends when the convenience factor end.
- 3) True friendship - Friendship based on mutual respect.
The author mentions that she dislikes friendship of convenience.
"I don't like knowing people in the context of things. "Oh, that's the person I work out with. That's the person I'm in a book club with. That's the person I did that show with." Because once the context ends, so does the friendship."
7) What is the problem with comparing our life with that of successful people?
In this age of social media, every one of us has a tendency to know more about the life of successful people from their social media profiles and compare our life with theirs. The biggest problem is that people only post the positive side of their lives on social media. So checking others' Instagram profiles and comparing our life to others can push us into anxiety and depression.
In Jennette's case, she had Ariana Grande as the co-star in one of the shows, and she developed a habit of comparing her life with Ariane's. This is a habit we should never develop, and the author tells us all the troubles she had to face due to this behavior.
"The third is that Ariana is at the stage in her career where she's popping up on every 30 Under 30 list that exists. And I'm at the stage in my career where my team is excited that I'm the new face of Rebecca Bonbon, a tween clothing line featuring a cat with her tongue sticking out. Sold exclusively at Walmart. And I frequently make the mistake of comparing my career to Ariana's. I can't help it. I'm constantly in the same environment as her, and she doesn't exactly try to hide her successes."
My favourite three lines from this book
"Suddenly, I feel just like that little eleven-year-old girl who was confused and scared and uncertain. That eleven-year-old girl who was doubtful that I knew the whole truth of my situation, who was unsure that my mother was the hero she pretended to be, but who shoved that doubt down."
"I don't like when grown-ups make faces or sounds that I don't understand. It's frustrating. It makes me feel like I'm missing something.鈥�
"And the kids who are annoying, don't take direction, ask questions鈥攖hose are the kids who won't get sent out on auditions. The kids who will get auditions are the ones who shut up and do as they're told."
What could have been better?
The title of this book is a brutal one. I think Jennette should have given it a much more positive title. This current title will indeed pull the attention of many new readers to this book. But it also has its demerits. Whenever the author hears or sees the name of this book in the future, the first emotion that will come to her mind might be anger and sadness just because of this title.
I can never tell that the author should have forgiven her mother as she had to suffer a lot due to her. But still, I think the title is brutal, and it should have been a different optimistic one.
Rating
5/5 This celebrity memoir might be a difficult book, but you should never miss the opportunity to read it.
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August 25, 2022
as victoria justice would say: 鈥榠 think we鈥檙e ALL glad her mom died鈥�.
August 6, 2024
Chances are, if you have a TikTok or Instagram you know what this book is. I mean, I'm Glad My Mom Died was on back order already the morning it was published and was a sought after title all August and is a book you just cannot avoid if you have an internet connection or local bookstore. Nor should you. Jennette McCurdy, the former iCarly actress, speaks so openly and candidly about a lifelong cycle of abuse and dependency with her mother (who passed in, as the title likely led you to assume), chronicling trauma and serious mental health struggles such as eating disorders that all were brought upon her through the need to serve her mother鈥檚 wishes. It鈥檚 one I鈥檝e had right in everyone鈥檚 faces at the bookstore since we finally got copies, as the title is sure to solicit reactions and I privately enjoy seeing them, but also it is an important look at abuse and recovery. I had to finally read it. I mean we all deserve a Hot Girl Summer but can I truly say I had one if I didn鈥檛 read any Colleen Hoover, Beach Read or at least this, the most popular book of the end of summer? No. And I鈥檓 glad I did pick this up to read at work because this deserves all the hype and more, and I hope this is another success on McCurdy's road to improved mental health. While she loved her mother, their relationship was often abusive and left a lot to detangle in adulthood. Deeply personal and moving, this is a look into McCurdy's life as well as a necessary warning about the ways young girls are objectified, commodified and exploited, even by those closest to them.
鈥�I realize that she鈥檚 happy and I鈥檓 not. Her happiness came at the cost of mine. I feel robbed and exploited.鈥�
That line says it all, honestly. This is an upsetting account of McCurdy's life, and one where all the warning signs were out in the open and ignored. Especially by Nickelodeon who don鈥檛 exactly come across well here. We鈥檝e heard horror stories about the treatment of child actors for as long as there have been child actors, though this isn鈥檛 simply another case file of grievances but a really heartfelt self-examination and testimony. McCurdy comes across as very open and honest, and it really paints a positive look at her as a person who has gone through so much. There are times when she discusses the anger she felt, which feels justified and as talks about in the book , sometimes anger is the appropriate response in order to not be silenced or ignored. It can be an important tool, or an armor as McCurdy describes:
She also expresses feelings of regret for having lashed out in these times, looking at how abuse shouldn鈥檛 just beget another cycle of abuse, and these discussions seem to come from a place of maturity and healing. It is likely very encouraging and empowering for victims of abuse to read much of this book, though heads up, it does get into some very triggering situations and topics.
鈥�Mom only sits in when I鈥檓 being the thing she wanted to be.鈥�
McCurdy shows how so much of her life was lived to be what her mother wanted, and much of this became painful. She was raised in a Mormon household and was homeschooled by her mother, a mom who wanted to always present a perfect image and often lashed out hurtfully. In short, McCurdy is open about her mom having narcissistic tendencies, and while she is still caring for her mother (she does make it clear she very much loved her mother), the scars are quickly apparent. From years of life like this, McCurdy felt she lacked an authentic self, and this carried over into struggles with body image from seeing one鈥檚 own self as an object that serves others instead of something personally only yours. This is a major theme in the essays in My Body by for those looking for further reading on the subject. When fearing her breasts would grow during puberty, the mother encouraged extreme calorie reduction and dangerous dieting practices. While discussions of the mother bookend this memoir, the bulk of the middle portion is about eating disorders. Most tragic is the moment in the hospital with her siblings saying goodbye to her mother when she says the one thing she thinks could actually make her mother proud of her:
There is a lot to be said about the ways this reflects a general attitude around young women and girls, especially in the entertainment industry and how it robs them of their own agency. 鈥�I was conditioned to believe any boundary I wanted was a betrayal of her, so I stayed silent,鈥� she writes, and in this we see how these systems perpetuate themselves: silence. Young women and girls are broken down to believe they are in service to another (we could get into a long discussion on how this is the social framing inflicted by the intersections of misogyny and capitalism) and silence is induced by making them first feel they wouldn鈥檛 be believed or listened to but also that they deserve it, it鈥檚 for their own good or that they don鈥檛 even have the agency to speak out. It is truly tragic how often victims of abuse are silenced when they do speak out, which is another tool in oppression.
So this book is a lot, but it is also very good and seems very healing. I was under the impression based on how it was presented and marketed that this was more of a comedic memoir, so heads up if that was what you assumed as well, but the weight and power of her words as she discusses a lifetime of abuse is definitely worth reading for. It does read very plainly, almost like a 鈥渃lass assignment鈥� type of tone recounting events, though they are certainly difficult memories to have to revisit. I hope McCurdy is doing well, and it is very honorable of her to use her experience to reach out and help others in this way. There could have been more depth to some of it, but this is less a look at the causes and social critiques and more at the personal effects she endured. There are great reminders too about how to move forward and not get bogged down in being perfect, such as when she writes that 鈥�slips are totally normal. When you have a slip, it鈥檚 just that. A slip. It doesn鈥檛 define you. It doesn鈥檛 make you a failure. The most important thing is that you don鈥檛 let that slip become a slide鈥�. I won鈥檛 get too much more into it, as you should probably read the book and this is McCurdy's story to tell, but I am very glad I read this.
'My mom didn't get better. But I will.'
鈥�I realize that she鈥檚 happy and I鈥檓 not. Her happiness came at the cost of mine. I feel robbed and exploited.鈥�
That line says it all, honestly. This is an upsetting account of McCurdy's life, and one where all the warning signs were out in the open and ignored. Especially by Nickelodeon who don鈥檛 exactly come across well here. We鈥檝e heard horror stories about the treatment of child actors for as long as there have been child actors, though this isn鈥檛 simply another case file of grievances but a really heartfelt self-examination and testimony. McCurdy comes across as very open and honest, and it really paints a positive look at her as a person who has gone through so much. There are times when she discusses the anger she felt, which feels justified and as talks about in the book , sometimes anger is the appropriate response in order to not be silenced or ignored. It can be an important tool, or an armor as McCurdy describes:
鈥�I became an angry person with no tolerance for anyone. I'm aware of this shift and yet have no desire to change it. If anything, I want it. It's armor. It's easier to be angry than to feel to pain underneath it.鈥�
She also expresses feelings of regret for having lashed out in these times, looking at how abuse shouldn鈥檛 just beget another cycle of abuse, and these discussions seem to come from a place of maturity and healing. It is likely very encouraging and empowering for victims of abuse to read much of this book, though heads up, it does get into some very triggering situations and topics.
鈥�Mom only sits in when I鈥檓 being the thing she wanted to be.鈥�
McCurdy shows how so much of her life was lived to be what her mother wanted, and much of this became painful. She was raised in a Mormon household and was homeschooled by her mother, a mom who wanted to always present a perfect image and often lashed out hurtfully. In short, McCurdy is open about her mom having narcissistic tendencies, and while she is still caring for her mother (she does make it clear she very much loved her mother), the scars are quickly apparent. From years of life like this, McCurdy felt she lacked an authentic self, and this carried over into struggles with body image from seeing one鈥檚 own self as an object that serves others instead of something personally only yours. This is a major theme in the essays in My Body by for those looking for further reading on the subject. When fearing her breasts would grow during puberty, the mother encouraged extreme calorie reduction and dangerous dieting practices. While discussions of the mother bookend this memoir, the bulk of the middle portion is about eating disorders. Most tragic is the moment in the hospital with her siblings saying goodbye to her mother when she says the one thing she thinks could actually make her mother proud of her:
鈥�I'm in the ICU with my dying mother, and the thing that I'm sure will get her to wake up, is the fact that in the days since mom has been hospitalized, my fear and sadness have morphed into the perfect anorexia motivation cocktail, and finally I have achieved mom's current goal weight for me: 89 pounds.鈥�
There is a lot to be said about the ways this reflects a general attitude around young women and girls, especially in the entertainment industry and how it robs them of their own agency. 鈥�I was conditioned to believe any boundary I wanted was a betrayal of her, so I stayed silent,鈥� she writes, and in this we see how these systems perpetuate themselves: silence. Young women and girls are broken down to believe they are in service to another (we could get into a long discussion on how this is the social framing inflicted by the intersections of misogyny and capitalism) and silence is induced by making them first feel they wouldn鈥檛 be believed or listened to but also that they deserve it, it鈥檚 for their own good or that they don鈥檛 even have the agency to speak out. It is truly tragic how often victims of abuse are silenced when they do speak out, which is another tool in oppression.
So this book is a lot, but it is also very good and seems very healing. I was under the impression based on how it was presented and marketed that this was more of a comedic memoir, so heads up if that was what you assumed as well, but the weight and power of her words as she discusses a lifetime of abuse is definitely worth reading for. It does read very plainly, almost like a 鈥渃lass assignment鈥� type of tone recounting events, though they are certainly difficult memories to have to revisit. I hope McCurdy is doing well, and it is very honorable of her to use her experience to reach out and help others in this way. There could have been more depth to some of it, but this is less a look at the causes and social critiques and more at the personal effects she endured. There are great reminders too about how to move forward and not get bogged down in being perfect, such as when she writes that 鈥�slips are totally normal. When you have a slip, it鈥檚 just that. A slip. It doesn鈥檛 define you. It doesn鈥檛 make you a failure. The most important thing is that you don鈥檛 let that slip become a slide鈥�. I won鈥檛 get too much more into it, as you should probably read the book and this is McCurdy's story to tell, but I am very glad I read this.
'My mom didn't get better. But I will.'
December 12, 2022
Memoirs should be one鈥檚 reflection about one鈥檚 past, otherwise is just a journaling exercise.
This whole book felt juvenile, repetitive and under-edited.
The dialogues were weird and unbelievable because they totally lacked context (and before someone misinterprets my words, I am not saying that I don鈥檛 believe Jennette words, but that simply writing down her abusive mother鈥檚 worst moments is cathartic, yes, but it鈥檚 not in any way compelling to read, because there is no built-up, no tension, just straight up abuse).
The inexplicable decision of using a present tense killed every chance of expressing self-awareness, self-reflection and healing, and the book felt like a journaling therapy exercise. It didn鈥檛 help the fact that writing the memoir focusing on traumas and single events, each one of them taking up one short chapter, made the 鈥渘arration鈥� very disjointed.
The blurb is also very unfaithful to the actual content of the book: this memoir was described as 鈥渉eartbreaking鈥� and 鈥渉ilarious鈥�, and I have my doubts about the latter. I smiled twice, in the space of 92 chapters.
As a person who has a strained relationship with her mentally-ill mother, I am proud of Jennette for being able to tell her story, but unfortunately her memoir fell short, for me.
This whole book felt juvenile, repetitive and under-edited.
The dialogues were weird and unbelievable because they totally lacked context (and before someone misinterprets my words, I am not saying that I don鈥檛 believe Jennette words, but that simply writing down her abusive mother鈥檚 worst moments is cathartic, yes, but it鈥檚 not in any way compelling to read, because there is no built-up, no tension, just straight up abuse).
The inexplicable decision of using a present tense killed every chance of expressing self-awareness, self-reflection and healing, and the book felt like a journaling therapy exercise. It didn鈥檛 help the fact that writing the memoir focusing on traumas and single events, each one of them taking up one short chapter, made the 鈥渘arration鈥� very disjointed.
The blurb is also very unfaithful to the actual content of the book: this memoir was described as 鈥渉eartbreaking鈥� and 鈥渉ilarious鈥�, and I have my doubts about the latter. I smiled twice, in the space of 92 chapters.
As a person who has a strained relationship with her mentally-ill mother, I am proud of Jennette for being able to tell her story, but unfortunately her memoir fell short, for me.
February 12, 2024
I鈥檓 also glad her mom died, the absolute fucking bitch.
January 3, 2023
you know what jennette? i鈥檓 also glad your mom died!!!!
Read
August 10, 2022very powerful and also very funny. this is by far one of the best memoirs I've read
December 31, 2022
This book was incredible. I can't imagine going through as much as Jennette McCurdy did and then having the courage to recount those hardships for all to read. I know this is a book that will stick with me and I'll continue to process the stories she shared within the book.
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