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La figlia perfetta
Baltimora, 15 agosto 1997. Due piccole orfane arrivano dalla Corea. Ad attenderle all'aeroporto le due famiglie che le adotteranno: i Donaldson, una coppia molto americana, e gli Yazdan, di origine iraniana. Grazie al legame delle bambine, tra queste famiglie, pur tanto diverse, nasce un'insolita e intensa amicizia. Ogni anno, infatti, il 15 agosto, anniversario dell'arrivo delle piccole, i politicamente corretti Donaldson organizzano una festa che, se all'inizio sembra un pretesto per favorire l'integrazione delle figlie, ben presto diventa un'occasione di socialità e calore per tutti. Anno dopo anno la festa si ripete, sempre più elaborata e affollata; le due famiglie nel frattempo si allargano, si aprono, s'intrecciano... Ricco di momenti di grande tenerezza e di spassosa comicità, questo romanzo di Anne Tyler offre uno spaccato attuale sul problema dell'integrazione e regala al lettore una carrellata di personaggi ai quali è impossibile non affezionarsi.
291 pages, Paperback
First published May 2, 2006
458 people are currently reading
7,178 people want to read
About the author
Anne Tyler
117books8,215followersAnne Tyler was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in 1941 and grew up in Raleigh, North Carolina. She graduated at nineteen from Duke University and went on to do graduate work in Russian studies at Columbia University. She has published 20 novels, her debut novel being
If Morning Ever Comes
in (1964). Her eleventh novel,
Breathing Lessons
, was awarded the Pulitzer Prize in 1988. She is a member of the American Academy of Arts and Letters.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,562 reviews
August 25, 2021
INCONTRI
Al centro dell’attenzione di Anne Tyler è ancora una volta la famiglia. Non tanto una famiglia allargata, come succede altre volte nei suoi libri, figli, nipoti, parenti: qui sono due coppie sposate a occupare la scena.
Due coppie sposate, una americana, l’altra figlia di emigrati dall’Iran, arrivati in US da piccoli: che si incontrano per la prima volta in un aeroporto, ovviamente quello di Baltimora (Tyler sceglie sempre la sua città per ambientare le sue storie).
Entrambe stanno aspettando un arrivo speciale proveniente dalla Corea: per entrambe le coppie è in arrivo una bambina coreana adottata (la copertina ha al centro proprio le due bambine, ciascuna tenuta per mano da un’adulta).
È il 15 agosto 1997.
Da lì in avanti, ogni 15 agosto, le due famiglie si incontrano per festeggiare quella ricorrenza, che battezzano la Festa dell’Arrivo. È la famiglia americana che promuove l’iniziativa di festeggiamenti congiunti, con tanto di torta rossa e blu a stelle e strisce.
I due nuclei si tengono comunque in contatto, non solo quel giorno, ma tutto l’anno, si frequentano e telefonano: condividono un momento clou, si sentono vicine, legate.
In privato, però, una famiglia scherza sull’altra, su usi e costumi, una bonaria presa in giro. Chiaro, ci sono notevoli differenze sui metodi educativi, i valori, gli obiettivi: tutto materiale che arricchisce il racconto.
Per esempio, il padre di origine iraniana, ormai perfettamente integrato in US al punto di parlare inglese senza accento, dice:
A proposito di feste � proseguì Sami � non sembra anche a voi così tipicamente americano il fatto che per i Donaldson il giorno in cui la loro figlia è arrivata in questo paese, sia più importante del giorno in cui è nata? Per il suo compleanno le fanno qualche regalino, mentre per il giorno in cui è arrivata in America c’� la Festa dell’Arrivo, una cosa in grande stile con tanto di famiglie allargate, canzoni e presentazioni cinematografiche. Attenzione! Sei arrivata nella Terra Promessa! L’apice di ogni gloria!
Poi, il nonno della famiglia americana e la nonna di quella iraniana, capiscono di condividere più che le nipotine, tra loro si accende una scintilla.
Ma non tutto scivola così rose e fiori come potrebbe apparire.
La scrittura della Tyler invece scivola senza incepparsi, senza costruire momenti ostici o impegnativi: con la consueta ironia e delicatezza, con pacatezza e garbo, crea personaggi e psicologie che catturano, racconta emozioni e sentimenti, gioie e dolori. Scava, come indica il titolo originale (Digging to America), affronta temi importanti, come l’adozione e l’integrazione, che non riguarda solo le due bimbe accolte in una nuova famiglia, ma anche la coppia straniera e quella indigena, gli iraniani da una parte, gli americani dall’altra.
Al centro dell’attenzione di Anne Tyler è ancora una volta la famiglia. Non tanto una famiglia allargata, come succede altre volte nei suoi libri, figli, nipoti, parenti: qui sono due coppie sposate a occupare la scena.
Due coppie sposate, una americana, l’altra figlia di emigrati dall’Iran, arrivati in US da piccoli: che si incontrano per la prima volta in un aeroporto, ovviamente quello di Baltimora (Tyler sceglie sempre la sua città per ambientare le sue storie).
Entrambe stanno aspettando un arrivo speciale proveniente dalla Corea: per entrambe le coppie è in arrivo una bambina coreana adottata (la copertina ha al centro proprio le due bambine, ciascuna tenuta per mano da un’adulta).
È il 15 agosto 1997.
Da lì in avanti, ogni 15 agosto, le due famiglie si incontrano per festeggiare quella ricorrenza, che battezzano la Festa dell’Arrivo. È la famiglia americana che promuove l’iniziativa di festeggiamenti congiunti, con tanto di torta rossa e blu a stelle e strisce.
I due nuclei si tengono comunque in contatto, non solo quel giorno, ma tutto l’anno, si frequentano e telefonano: condividono un momento clou, si sentono vicine, legate.
In privato, però, una famiglia scherza sull’altra, su usi e costumi, una bonaria presa in giro. Chiaro, ci sono notevoli differenze sui metodi educativi, i valori, gli obiettivi: tutto materiale che arricchisce il racconto.
Per esempio, il padre di origine iraniana, ormai perfettamente integrato in US al punto di parlare inglese senza accento, dice:
A proposito di feste � proseguì Sami � non sembra anche a voi così tipicamente americano il fatto che per i Donaldson il giorno in cui la loro figlia è arrivata in questo paese, sia più importante del giorno in cui è nata? Per il suo compleanno le fanno qualche regalino, mentre per il giorno in cui è arrivata in America c’� la Festa dell’Arrivo, una cosa in grande stile con tanto di famiglie allargate, canzoni e presentazioni cinematografiche. Attenzione! Sei arrivata nella Terra Promessa! L’apice di ogni gloria!
Poi, il nonno della famiglia americana e la nonna di quella iraniana, capiscono di condividere più che le nipotine, tra loro si accende una scintilla.
Ma non tutto scivola così rose e fiori come potrebbe apparire.
La scrittura della Tyler invece scivola senza incepparsi, senza costruire momenti ostici o impegnativi: con la consueta ironia e delicatezza, con pacatezza e garbo, crea personaggi e psicologie che catturano, racconta emozioni e sentimenti, gioie e dolori. Scava, come indica il titolo originale (Digging to America), affronta temi importanti, come l’adozione e l’integrazione, che non riguarda solo le due bimbe accolte in una nuova famiglia, ma anche la coppia straniera e quella indigena, gli iraniani da una parte, gli americani dall’altra.
July 18, 2021
What an absolute privilege to be invited into the minds, hearts and homes of the people in Digging to America by Anne Tyler.
My only other Tyler experience was a 3-star effort, A Patchwork Planet, I was disappointed as a few of you lot highly recommended her � but this second book, is an absolute belter of a story. I loved it, and I even read slower towards the end. I employed delaying tactics like starting other books, listening to podcasts, over-playing with the pup, over-feeding Freddie � all hopeless efforts to delay the inevitable ending. Why isn’t this a 900-page Chunkster? Why?
The story centres around two families and mainly two couples. One of them is a typical American couple, Bitsy and Brad, the other Sami and Ziba � who have Iranian heritage. Both couples start the story childless. In fact, the story commences at the Baltimore airport, it’s 1977 and they’re waiting for the arrival of their Korean baby girls � both couples are adopting, at this stage they don’t know each other. But this changes quick smart and they become friends and their families and extended families have reason to catch-up for various gatherings such as “Arrival Day�, Birthdays, New Year, Iranian New Year, Leaf Raking parties, the Binky party.
Now you can imagine the dynamics between, young and old, Iranian and American, male and female, kids, and the new parents (with totally different parenting styles!) � creates so many opportunities for interesting interactions � oh, it's worth mentioning that each page has something I found riveting, emotionally engaging, funny, sad and interesting.
There are two characters I really love. Firstly, is Maryam � a beautiful, stoic, older Iranian woman � a widow and mother of the lad Sami, husband of Ziba. The other is Dave, father of Bitsy, a scruffy old Grandad type, easy with words and opinions but lovable � oh my, the interaction between these two is priceless. It made me splutter-laugh, this is the laugh you least expect, often resulting in whatever is in your mouth projecting towards the page you’re reading � this can be saliva, food or drink. No wonder the pages of this second-hand book are stained (seriously). They also literally made me tear up. Over-wet eyes, over-moist, not quite sobbing. So much emotion.
Maryam talking about her husband (who died of cancer � years before):
I thought, if only I could mourn the man I first knew. But instead there were the more recent versions, the sick one then the sicker one and then the one who was so cross and hated me for disturbing him with pills and food and fluids, and finally the faraway, sleepy one who in fact was not there at all. I thought, I wish I had been aware of the day he really died � the day his real self died. That was the day I should have grieved most deeply
The episode of Maryam having to go to her son’s (Sami and Ziba’s) house with a bicycle helmet on because she couldn’t get the thing off was hilarious � I imagined this beautiful, proud, Iranian woman walking to her son’s house, embarrassed but trying to pretend everything was okay � I laughed out loud!!
The different parenting styles of Bitsy and Ziba (the two young Mums) was particularly interesting. Fair to say, Bitsy was an over-mum and Ziba was a little easier � but who am I to judge, I’m just a Dad � but crikey, the difference was stark. Bitsy, although very nice, warm and engaging was a little too pushy for mine, but she was a lot of fun � she’d be hard to relax around methinks. Ziba, was stuck in a world of ‘wanting to assimilate� and being pulled back to Iranian customs by her relatives and own appreciation of tradition. I was probably on Ziba’s side on the parenting style issue, but I still loved Bitsy � although pushy, and opinionated she had a big heart. The little girls (Susan and Jin-Ho) were charming in their own ways. Chubby and cute.
I found myself listening to Googoosh, an Iranian singer (try her), on Spotify as I was crawling towards the finale. I also spent time looking up Iranian recipes � in fact, I’m going to TRY to make a Kuku Bademjan this weekend, it’s a thick vegetable frittata and it looks delicious � see what you’ve made me do Ms Tyler!!!!
But seriously, this is a terrific book. I truly loved it. I adored the characters, it ended as it should have, nicely wrapped up � Anne Tyler left nothing in the dressing room on this one and seemed to pour everything she had onto each page. I am now an Anne Tyler fan - officially!!
5-stars (of course)
My only other Tyler experience was a 3-star effort, A Patchwork Planet, I was disappointed as a few of you lot highly recommended her � but this second book, is an absolute belter of a story. I loved it, and I even read slower towards the end. I employed delaying tactics like starting other books, listening to podcasts, over-playing with the pup, over-feeding Freddie � all hopeless efforts to delay the inevitable ending. Why isn’t this a 900-page Chunkster? Why?
The story centres around two families and mainly two couples. One of them is a typical American couple, Bitsy and Brad, the other Sami and Ziba � who have Iranian heritage. Both couples start the story childless. In fact, the story commences at the Baltimore airport, it’s 1977 and they’re waiting for the arrival of their Korean baby girls � both couples are adopting, at this stage they don’t know each other. But this changes quick smart and they become friends and their families and extended families have reason to catch-up for various gatherings such as “Arrival Day�, Birthdays, New Year, Iranian New Year, Leaf Raking parties, the Binky party.
Now you can imagine the dynamics between, young and old, Iranian and American, male and female, kids, and the new parents (with totally different parenting styles!) � creates so many opportunities for interesting interactions � oh, it's worth mentioning that each page has something I found riveting, emotionally engaging, funny, sad and interesting.
There are two characters I really love. Firstly, is Maryam � a beautiful, stoic, older Iranian woman � a widow and mother of the lad Sami, husband of Ziba. The other is Dave, father of Bitsy, a scruffy old Grandad type, easy with words and opinions but lovable � oh my, the interaction between these two is priceless. It made me splutter-laugh, this is the laugh you least expect, often resulting in whatever is in your mouth projecting towards the page you’re reading � this can be saliva, food or drink. No wonder the pages of this second-hand book are stained (seriously). They also literally made me tear up. Over-wet eyes, over-moist, not quite sobbing. So much emotion.
Maryam talking about her husband (who died of cancer � years before):
I thought, if only I could mourn the man I first knew. But instead there were the more recent versions, the sick one then the sicker one and then the one who was so cross and hated me for disturbing him with pills and food and fluids, and finally the faraway, sleepy one who in fact was not there at all. I thought, I wish I had been aware of the day he really died � the day his real self died. That was the day I should have grieved most deeply
The episode of Maryam having to go to her son’s (Sami and Ziba’s) house with a bicycle helmet on because she couldn’t get the thing off was hilarious � I imagined this beautiful, proud, Iranian woman walking to her son’s house, embarrassed but trying to pretend everything was okay � I laughed out loud!!
The different parenting styles of Bitsy and Ziba (the two young Mums) was particularly interesting. Fair to say, Bitsy was an over-mum and Ziba was a little easier � but who am I to judge, I’m just a Dad � but crikey, the difference was stark. Bitsy, although very nice, warm and engaging was a little too pushy for mine, but she was a lot of fun � she’d be hard to relax around methinks. Ziba, was stuck in a world of ‘wanting to assimilate� and being pulled back to Iranian customs by her relatives and own appreciation of tradition. I was probably on Ziba’s side on the parenting style issue, but I still loved Bitsy � although pushy, and opinionated she had a big heart. The little girls (Susan and Jin-Ho) were charming in their own ways. Chubby and cute.
I found myself listening to Googoosh, an Iranian singer (try her), on Spotify as I was crawling towards the finale. I also spent time looking up Iranian recipes � in fact, I’m going to TRY to make a Kuku Bademjan this weekend, it’s a thick vegetable frittata and it looks delicious � see what you’ve made me do Ms Tyler!!!!
But seriously, this is a terrific book. I truly loved it. I adored the characters, it ended as it should have, nicely wrapped up � Anne Tyler left nothing in the dressing room on this one and seemed to pour everything she had onto each page. I am now an Anne Tyler fan - officially!!
5-stars (of course)
July 22, 2017
Anne Tyler, the queen of quirky but loveable, has done it again. She reaches into the heart of people who seem so different than ourselves, and reveals them to be just like us. Why is it that when we feel insecure (or like we aren’t like other people or that everyone has the key but us), we can’t look around and see that everyone else feels the same way? We are just people trying to find our way through whatever life or circumstances we find ourselves in.
The story centers around two families, each of whom adopt a Korean child on the same day. The children bind the families together, despite the obvious differences between them. One family is abjectly American, the other Iranian. Maryam, the Iranian grandmother, feels like an outsider, even after thirty-five years of being an American.
You start to believe that your life is defined by your foreignness. You think everything would be different if only you belonged.’If only I were back home,� you say, ‘and you forget that you wouldn’t belong there either, after all these years. It wouldn’t be home at all anymore.�
I have only been transplanted from one state to another, but I know this feeling well. I have also lived away for thirty-five years, and I often think about going “home� and wonder where home would be. Places change, people change, perhaps if we do not carry home around with us, we lose it.
The book is full of such moments and thoughts that feel real to me. And these people feel real to me...they like one another in spite of all the reasons there are not to like one another. Without noticing, they come to love one another. They are complicated, flawed and human, they make us laugh, shake our heads, and then cry. Nothing happens that is spectacular, but then isn’t that true of life? Most of our most significant living is done in very ordinary ways.
The story centers around two families, each of whom adopt a Korean child on the same day. The children bind the families together, despite the obvious differences between them. One family is abjectly American, the other Iranian. Maryam, the Iranian grandmother, feels like an outsider, even after thirty-five years of being an American.
You start to believe that your life is defined by your foreignness. You think everything would be different if only you belonged.’If only I were back home,� you say, ‘and you forget that you wouldn’t belong there either, after all these years. It wouldn’t be home at all anymore.�
I have only been transplanted from one state to another, but I know this feeling well. I have also lived away for thirty-five years, and I often think about going “home� and wonder where home would be. Places change, people change, perhaps if we do not carry home around with us, we lose it.
The book is full of such moments and thoughts that feel real to me. And these people feel real to me...they like one another in spite of all the reasons there are not to like one another. Without noticing, they come to love one another. They are complicated, flawed and human, they make us laugh, shake our heads, and then cry. Nothing happens that is spectacular, but then isn’t that true of life? Most of our most significant living is done in very ordinary ways.
May 14, 2007
First of all, I'm a HUGE Anne Tyler fan. To my mind, she can do no wrong. Reading one of her books is like curling up on the couch in a baggy cashmere sweater. That said, this is definitely not one of her strongest. She doesn't develop the characters in any particularly complex way and it's really hard to step into their shoes. Usually her portrayals of families are so hauntingly real, it's almost uncomfortable to read about them, but here it read like the "setting the scene" for a family drama on Lifetime. Held up next to Jhumpa Lahiri's The Namesake, which deals with similar themes, Digging to America doesn't gain any traction at all.
February 19, 2019
[3.5 stars]
I enjoyed this story, though the first half dragged quite a bit. By the latter half I was much more invested in the characters' lives, especially that of Maryam who I think really should've been the central character all along. When it focused on her perspective and how she viewed the goings-on around her, I was much more able to connect to the story. I think a lot of that comes from Anne Tyler imbuing Maryam with so much of her own story, as her husband was an Iranian immigrant who died of cancer 9 years before this novel was published.
Overall not my favorite of Anne Tyler's work but it's always a pleasure reading her prose and seeing how she observes the world and parcels little tidbits or anecdotes that seem pulled from real life.
I enjoyed this story, though the first half dragged quite a bit. By the latter half I was much more invested in the characters' lives, especially that of Maryam who I think really should've been the central character all along. When it focused on her perspective and how she viewed the goings-on around her, I was much more able to connect to the story. I think a lot of that comes from Anne Tyler imbuing Maryam with so much of her own story, as her husband was an Iranian immigrant who died of cancer 9 years before this novel was published.
Overall not my favorite of Anne Tyler's work but it's always a pleasure reading her prose and seeing how she observes the world and parcels little tidbits or anecdotes that seem pulled from real life.
August 28, 2016
A story of cultural difference, fitting in (and not) and trying too hard not to offend. In America, an Iranian and an American Guardian-reading (or equivalent) family adopt Korean girls on the same day, and thus three generations of both families are drawn together, despite their differences in lifestyle, parenting attitudes, family, traditions etc.
Towards the end, and with no explanation, an overlong chapter about giving up pacifiers is written in the style of a child. “Jin-Ho’s mother� this and “Jin-Ho’s father� that, sounding like a Janet and John book.
An easy and enjoyable page-turner, and the most touching and perhaps most significant strand of the story is not the one you think it’s going to be.
Towards the end, and with no explanation, an overlong chapter about giving up pacifiers is written in the style of a child. “Jin-Ho’s mother� this and “Jin-Ho’s father� that, sounding like a Janet and John book.
An easy and enjoyable page-turner, and the most touching and perhaps most significant strand of the story is not the one you think it’s going to be.
July 21, 2021
3.5 stars rounded up.
Another typical Anne Tyler novel with the combination of quirky characters and simple, ordinary lives...with a twist. The twist in this story starts with two very different families waiting at the arrivals section of the Baltimore airport. Both families, one American, one Syrian, are waiting for their adopted Korean babies to arrive. While waiting these families make friends. The story takes off from there.
The other Tyler novels I've read felt a bit more substantial. But this is a perfect book if you're looking for a light, entertaining page-turner.
Another typical Anne Tyler novel with the combination of quirky characters and simple, ordinary lives...with a twist. The twist in this story starts with two very different families waiting at the arrivals section of the Baltimore airport. Both families, one American, one Syrian, are waiting for their adopted Korean babies to arrive. While waiting these families make friends. The story takes off from there.
The other Tyler novels I've read felt a bit more substantial. But this is a perfect book if you're looking for a light, entertaining page-turner.
April 21, 2008
What I anticipated versus what actually unfolded in this book were quite different. I was bored halfway through but wanted to endure the last half to find out what the ending would be. When I got to the very last page, I couldn't help but say "that's it?!" An uneventful ending to say the very least. The character development was quite unpolished and the plot was-- well, I guess I never found the main one, just a bunch of sub-plots that never fully became anything substantial or resounding. Quite disappointing to say the very least.
August 3, 2023
من همیشه درمورد این تقاضاهای ازدواج در معرض عموم مشکوک بودم، مردهایی که روی بیلبوردهای تجاری تقاضا می کنن یا هواپیما کرایه می کنن تا پارچه نوشته ای رو تو هوا بچرخونه. اگه زن ها دلشون نخواد ازدواج کنن چی؟ نتیجه اش چی میشه؟ می افتن تو تله. در ملأ عام، خب جز این که بگن بله، چی کار می تونن بکنن؟
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«نقب زدن به آمریکا» به زندگي سام و زيبا، يك زن و شوهر ايراني مي پردازد كه در امريكا زندگي مي كنند و قرار است کودکی را به فرزندی قبول کنند. داستان، بيشتر حول محور مادر سام مي گذرد كه پس از ازدواج به امريكا آمده و در دنيايي متفاوت از فرهنگ خود زندگي كرده است. آن تایلر داستانش را حول محور زندگی زیبا و سام یزدانی و مادر سام –مری�- میسازد� در عینحا� او به سبک زندگی مهاجران دیگری از آسیای شرق هم میپرداز�.
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کتاب چیز دندان گیر و جذابی ندارد، یک روایت ساده که به بررسی تفاوت های فرهنگی و خو گرفتن با جوامع گوناگون و مشکلات مهاجرت می پردازد. در این بین شاید چون نیمی از کتاب راجع به خانواده ای ایرانی است، اشارات به آداب و فرهنگ و رسوم و عقاید و نگرش ها برای ما کمی جذاب باشد.
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«نقب زدن به آمریکا» به زندگي سام و زيبا، يك زن و شوهر ايراني مي پردازد كه در امريكا زندگي مي كنند و قرار است کودکی را به فرزندی قبول کنند. داستان، بيشتر حول محور مادر سام مي گذرد كه پس از ازدواج به امريكا آمده و در دنيايي متفاوت از فرهنگ خود زندگي كرده است. آن تایلر داستانش را حول محور زندگی زیبا و سام یزدانی و مادر سام –مری�- میسازد� در عینحا� او به سبک زندگی مهاجران دیگری از آسیای شرق هم میپرداز�.
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کتاب چیز دندان گیر و جذابی ندارد، یک روایت ساده که به بررسی تفاوت های فرهنگی و خو گرفتن با جوامع گوناگون و مشکلات مهاجرت می پردازد. در این بین شاید چون نیمی از کتاب راجع به خانواده ای ایرانی است، اشارات به آداب و فرهنگ و رسوم و عقاید و نگرش ها برای ما کمی جذاب باشد.
April 6, 2019
The book I'd give 5 stars -- but only 4 for the audiobook version. Was it the fault of the recording company? Or the performer? Or both? When the reader's general reading was great -- but the central character is Iranian and she voiced her with an Indian accent! Never mind that she pronounced many of the Farsi words incorrectly. Surely there are plenty of performers in the U.S. who can do an accurate Farsi accent... As far as the content, Anne Tyler has a huge heart, gigantic enough to love people, flawed as we all can be at times. A down-to-earth story about how when it all comes down to it, we're just people.
July 24, 2015
As I was reading this book, even when well into it, when almost done and racing to the end, I came to a section that made me judge it as uneven.
Then I finished. For a minute I just sat there. Then I burst into sobs.
I had just been complaining the other day that I couldn't understand catharsis from classic tragedy, but this is different. What is it about Anne Tyler's books?
It's been a while since I've read one. hit me pretty hard.
In this book, two families who are both adopting Korean babies meet and their destinies become intertwined. One family consists of white upper-middle-class Americans and the other of Iranian-Americans. The focus is on several of the characters, but especially on Maryam, a late-middle-aged adoptive grandmother from the Iranian family. She's been in this country 39 years, but typically people whom she meets will start the conversation by asking how long she's been here. She sees her feelings of alienation and difference through the lens of her foreignness, and that's poignantly compared and contrasted with the experiences of the others. Anne Tyler's particular gift is to shine the spotlight on her characters and make them real.
This week I've had two narrative experiences about badly misunderstood women. I saw the movie Delores Claiborne (based on the Stephen King book, which I haven't read); in it, Kathy Bates plays a woman everyone thinks is a bitch and a murderer, too. (She's married to a wife abuser. Author Stephen King and actor David Strathairn each do excellent abusive husbands.) In Digging to America, Maryam is thought to be an imperious and haughty woman. Her daughter-in-law's family and even her son refer to her as "Khanom:" "Madame." Her son himself speaks of her in a critical manner. As the plot progresses, harsher attitudes emerge.
From inside, the tension may be risk versus safety, but the dimension of interest to me here is that of judgment versus mercy. With that, I'm back to my speculations about classical tragedy and my difficulty with classical tragedy as a source of catharsis.
My hunch is that the catharsis associated with classical tragedy has something to do with group, not individual, catharsis. For all that we can imagine seeing the world only through our individualism, that individualism is a very late development. I'm speculating that the catharsis associated with classical tragedy has to do with purging some human but undesirable element from the group. The group commiserates with the suffering of the "purgee" but nevertheless is on board with the judgment that the problem trait must go.
For me, though, catharsis comes through the recognition that the person with the trait viewed externally as bad, ultimately is not bad. That conclusion was mistaken. Through some change that takes place in both the one being targeted and those who were passing judgment, a new and even better equilibrium is reached, one that doesn't require anyone to be sacrificed.
I'm on some new territory here, but I think that is getting closer to what I mean by a redemptive story and one that results in catharsis!
It ain't easy being human. But joy is possible.
April 2, 2008
I've read all of Anne Tyler's books, many of them more than once. What never ceases to amaze me is how much emotion there is between the lines. The proposal scene will break your heart. I confess after studying it that I still don't quite understand how its emotional impact is achieved. Understated, certainly. Unexpected, yes. Organic because nothing else could have happened here.
Ms. Tyler loves every one of her characters dearly. There are no ugly souls in her books, just ordinary people who make mistakes.
Ms. Tyler loves every one of her characters dearly. There are no ugly souls in her books, just ordinary people who make mistakes.
November 23, 2016
This was one of those funny reading experiences that started out plain, then turned a bit boring but then ended very much enjoyably. In this story, we get to meet two American families who both decide to adopt a Korean baby. They happen to be simultaneously present at the airport on the day they adopt their babies, and since then they form a friendship that allows for the two Korean girls to get to know each other - both from the same country and with the same background.
While the beginning of the book was mostly about the two girls and their growing up in a foreign country, the story gradually turned into a narrative about their family members, and I really liked this shift in focus. It provided you with a broader story that made me feel very affectionate about the two families and their developments.
Anne Tyler is great at writing about real people and "Digging to America" was no exception. The characters were honestly depicted - with their flaws and all - and that made me love them even more. Tyler's characters and educating stories are what make her books worth reading and this one is no exception.
While the beginning of the book was mostly about the two girls and their growing up in a foreign country, the story gradually turned into a narrative about their family members, and I really liked this shift in focus. It provided you with a broader story that made me feel very affectionate about the two families and their developments.
Anne Tyler is great at writing about real people and "Digging to America" was no exception. The characters were honestly depicted - with their flaws and all - and that made me love them even more. Tyler's characters and educating stories are what make her books worth reading and this one is no exception.
October 31, 2020
مریم یه زن ایرانیس� که همراه با شوهرش در سالها� پیش از انقلاب به آمریکا مهاجرت میکنن�. پسرش سام در آمریکا متولد میش�. سام با یه دختر ایرانی به نام زیبا ازدواج میکن�. سام و زیبا نمیتون� بچهدا� بشن و یه نوزاد کرها� ُ به فرزندی قبول میکنن� و اسم� ُ میذار� «سوزان». زمانی که تو فرودگاه بچه رو به اونه� تحویل میدن� یه نوزاد کرها� دیگه هم تحویل یه خانواده� آمریکایی به نام دونالدسون� مید� و همین موضوع بهانها� میش� برای معاشرت و دوستی این دو خانواده که برای سالیان طولانی ادامه پیدا میکن�. دو خانواده� متضاد و کاملاً متفاوت.
کمت� کتابی دیدم مثل «نقبزد� به آمریکا» که اسم� اینقد� به� بیاد.
نَقب زدن یعنی: راهی در زیرزمین تعبیه کردن و از آن راه مخفیانه به خزینه یا خانه یا حصار داخل شدن . مخفیانه و از زیرزمین به جائی رخنه کردن و بدانجا راه یافتن.
و این کتاب داستان کسانیس� که به آمریکا مهاجرت کرده یا میکنن�. داستان کنار نیامدنه� و حلنشدنه� و خارجی بودن و ماندنه�. مثل کسانی که از راه مخفی زیرزمینی خارج میش� و متوجه میش� که تو یه دنیای بیگانهان�.
مریم به عنوان کسی که نزدیک چهل سال در آمریکا زندگی کرده و سوزان که کودکی� داره در آمریکا میگذره� هر دو نسبت به بیگانهبود� حس مشابهی دارن. و این کتاب بیانگ� احساسات و تغییرات اونهاس�.
شوهر خانم نویسنده یک روانپزش� و نویسنده� ایرانی بوده که البته مرحوم شدن. زندگی با یه ایرانی و معاشرت با خانواده� همسرش، باعث شده نویسنده شناخت خوبی از ایرانیه� و فرهنگ ایرانی داشتهباش� و محوریت قرار دادن یه خانواده� ایرانی توی این کتاب، برای من خیلی جذابیت داشت.
کتاب ُ خیلی دوست دارم و یکی از بهترین داستانهاییس� که خوندم.
× یکیدوت� کتاب دیگه از نویسنده بخونم، تصمیم میگیر� اسم� ُ به لیست نویسندهها� مورد علاقه� اضافهکن� یا نه.
کمت� کتابی دیدم مثل «نقبزد� به آمریکا» که اسم� اینقد� به� بیاد.
نَقب زدن یعنی: راهی در زیرزمین تعبیه کردن و از آن راه مخفیانه به خزینه یا خانه یا حصار داخل شدن . مخفیانه و از زیرزمین به جائی رخنه کردن و بدانجا راه یافتن.
و این کتاب داستان کسانیس� که به آمریکا مهاجرت کرده یا میکنن�. داستان کنار نیامدنه� و حلنشدنه� و خارجی بودن و ماندنه�. مثل کسانی که از راه مخفی زیرزمینی خارج میش� و متوجه میش� که تو یه دنیای بیگانهان�.
مریم به عنوان کسی که نزدیک چهل سال در آمریکا زندگی کرده و سوزان که کودکی� داره در آمریکا میگذره� هر دو نسبت به بیگانهبود� حس مشابهی دارن. و این کتاب بیانگ� احساسات و تغییرات اونهاس�.
شوهر خانم نویسنده یک روانپزش� و نویسنده� ایرانی بوده که البته مرحوم شدن. زندگی با یه ایرانی و معاشرت با خانواده� همسرش، باعث شده نویسنده شناخت خوبی از ایرانیه� و فرهنگ ایرانی داشتهباش� و محوریت قرار دادن یه خانواده� ایرانی توی این کتاب، برای من خیلی جذابیت داشت.
کتاب ُ خیلی دوست دارم و یکی از بهترین داستانهاییس� که خوندم.
× یکیدوت� کتاب دیگه از نویسنده بخونم، تصمیم میگیر� اسم� ُ به لیست نویسندهها� مورد علاقه� اضافهکن� یا نه.
August 19, 2021
3.5 stars? Maybe more, depending on the day?
Book clubs are all about getting us to read outside our comfort zones (at least that's what I'm looking for in a club). I think I've only read one of Tyler's novels before and although I do have another of her books on my TBR, I probably wouldn't have chosen this one. I've had it out of the library for quite a while and was shocked when I checked it and found that it has been requested. No more renewals for me!
I was curious why Tyler chose to write about Iranian immigrants, so off to Wikipedia I went. She was married to an Iranian and obviously they discussed his immigrant experience in detail. She writes this novel like it was her own experience. The feeling of never fitting in, never knowing the “rules" of being American, and the American people who seem to want to become more Iranian than you are. It must be tiresome to be constantly regarded as “exotic," never just an ordinary citizen. I really felt for Maryam, who technically had an arranged marriage, but if anyone bothered to listen to her, they would realize that she and her husband actually chose each other. Sometimes blind dates actually work.
There are so many books about feeling like you don't belong, that the main character is somehow excluded from the magic circle that they perceive around everyone else. But don't we all have these feelings from time to time? Especially those of us who are introverts in a world seemingly dominated by extroverts. I think that's why these books are popular, because we all can identify. And, as Dave tells us, it's not easy being American (or Canadian) either. Are you unintentionally offending someone? Are your manners up to par? Are you uneducated or insensitive? We all have our insecurities.
This morning, I heard Iranian poet Kaveh Akbar reading from his poem The Palace and it really moved me. It inspired me to pick this novel back up and finish it. Below, I'm sharing part of the poem that really resonated in me.
Book clubs are all about getting us to read outside our comfort zones (at least that's what I'm looking for in a club). I think I've only read one of Tyler's novels before and although I do have another of her books on my TBR, I probably wouldn't have chosen this one. I've had it out of the library for quite a while and was shocked when I checked it and found that it has been requested. No more renewals for me!
I was curious why Tyler chose to write about Iranian immigrants, so off to Wikipedia I went. She was married to an Iranian and obviously they discussed his immigrant experience in detail. She writes this novel like it was her own experience. The feeling of never fitting in, never knowing the “rules" of being American, and the American people who seem to want to become more Iranian than you are. It must be tiresome to be constantly regarded as “exotic," never just an ordinary citizen. I really felt for Maryam, who technically had an arranged marriage, but if anyone bothered to listen to her, they would realize that she and her husband actually chose each other. Sometimes blind dates actually work.
There are so many books about feeling like you don't belong, that the main character is somehow excluded from the magic circle that they perceive around everyone else. But don't we all have these feelings from time to time? Especially those of us who are introverts in a world seemingly dominated by extroverts. I think that's why these books are popular, because we all can identify. And, as Dave tells us, it's not easy being American (or Canadian) either. Are you unintentionally offending someone? Are your manners up to par? Are you uneducated or insensitive? We all have our insecurities.
This morning, I heard Iranian poet Kaveh Akbar reading from his poem The Palace and it really moved me. It inspired me to pick this novel back up and finish it. Below, I'm sharing part of the poem that really resonated in me.
A boy’s shirt says: “We Did It To Hiroshima, We Can Do It To Tehran!�
He is asked to turn his shirt inside out. He is asked? His insides, out. After he complies, his parents sue the school district.
Our souls want to knowhow they were made, what is owed.
These parents want their boy to want to melt my family, and I live among them.
Palace throne. Comfy, burning. I draw it without lifting my pen. I draw it fat as creation�
empty as a footprint.
How to live? reading poems, breathing shallow, spinning lettuce.
America the shallow breath, how to live?
The shallow trap, America catching
only what is too small to eat.
July 20, 2024
Anne Tyler loves to write about families and the interactions between people. Mostly, the misunderstandings and missed communications that are part of all relationships, in particular in families.
In this book two families meet at the airport where they have arrived to greet their new adopted daughters from Korea. One family is Iranian, the other Bitsy and Dave Donaldson, very American. They and their daughters become close friends, with love and misunderstanding. That's all I'll say about the plot. You should read it to enjoy it. Lots of fun, some tension, some sadness too.
I was afraid it may turn out like her Saint Maybe, but it is a different book. She is a wizard at description and a good writer. You most likely will enjoy meeting the Donaldsons and the Yazdans.
In this book two families meet at the airport where they have arrived to greet their new adopted daughters from Korea. One family is Iranian, the other Bitsy and Dave Donaldson, very American. They and their daughters become close friends, with love and misunderstanding. That's all I'll say about the plot. You should read it to enjoy it. Lots of fun, some tension, some sadness too.
I was afraid it may turn out like her Saint Maybe, but it is a different book. She is a wizard at description and a good writer. You most likely will enjoy meeting the Donaldsons and the Yazdans.
September 26, 2021
Este es el primer libro que leo de Anne Tyler, autora muy popular en Estados Unidos, que recibió el premio Pulitzer en 1989. Suele escribir sobre relaciones familiares y es autora de libros conocidos como 'El turista accidental'.
'Propios y extraños' trata sobre dos familias americanas que adoptan simultáneamente a dos niñas coreanas, lo que hace que se forme un vinculo entre ellos que se mantendrá a lo largo de los años. Una de las familias es de origen iraní, con lo cual la multiculturalidad parece que vaya a ser clave en el relato. Me interesaba el tema, así como lo que supone para un niño crecer en una cultura que no es la suya y cómo la familia adoptiva afronta los retos que se presentan.
Desafortunadamente, ninguno de estos temas se ha tratado apenas, la autora se limita a llenar páginas de sucesos y anécdotas sin interés y los personajes no están bien dibujados. La historia carece de profundidad, y para mí, de sentido.
No le doy una estrella porque algunas partes pueden llegar a ser entretenidas, ciertamente es una escritora con oficio, pero siempre dentro de una narración fácil y llena de clichés.
'Propios y extraños' trata sobre dos familias americanas que adoptan simultáneamente a dos niñas coreanas, lo que hace que se forme un vinculo entre ellos que se mantendrá a lo largo de los años. Una de las familias es de origen iraní, con lo cual la multiculturalidad parece que vaya a ser clave en el relato. Me interesaba el tema, así como lo que supone para un niño crecer en una cultura que no es la suya y cómo la familia adoptiva afronta los retos que se presentan.
Desafortunadamente, ninguno de estos temas se ha tratado apenas, la autora se limita a llenar páginas de sucesos y anécdotas sin interés y los personajes no están bien dibujados. La historia carece de profundidad, y para mí, de sentido.
No le doy una estrella porque algunas partes pueden llegar a ser entretenidas, ciertamente es una escritora con oficio, pero siempre dentro de una narración fácil y llena de clichés.
July 26, 2007
I must admit that the only thing keeping me out of the newspaper in yet another road rage story are the audio books I download or check out from the library. Listening to audio books while fighting rush hour traffic on 1-65 is my equivalent of counting to ten.
Anyone remember the actress Blair Brown from The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd, circa 1987? Ah, my dependable Saturday night date. What a sweetheart. Anyway, I just finished listenting to the audio book Digging to America and I must say that Blair Brown’s rich voice reading Anne Tyler’s exquisite phrasing are a match made in heaven.
Digging to America tells the story of two couples, one American and the other Iranian, who meet at the Baltimore airport as they await the arrival of their adopted Korean baby girls. From this day forward their lives intertwine in a clumsy but satisfying way as their children grow and they reach out to embrace each other’s cultures.
Who knew Blair could do so many voices? Bitsy’s aggressive American voice; Dave's forlorn voice; Maryam’s controlled and Ziba’s timid, heavily-accented voices. It’s like I’ve got my own personal theatre inside my car.
The only other voice to captivate me so was Sally Darling’s reading of To Kill a Mockingbird. But that’s another review. Take Blair along for the ride and keep the roads safe.
Anyone remember the actress Blair Brown from The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd, circa 1987? Ah, my dependable Saturday night date. What a sweetheart. Anyway, I just finished listenting to the audio book Digging to America and I must say that Blair Brown’s rich voice reading Anne Tyler’s exquisite phrasing are a match made in heaven.
Digging to America tells the story of two couples, one American and the other Iranian, who meet at the Baltimore airport as they await the arrival of their adopted Korean baby girls. From this day forward their lives intertwine in a clumsy but satisfying way as their children grow and they reach out to embrace each other’s cultures.
Who knew Blair could do so many voices? Bitsy’s aggressive American voice; Dave's forlorn voice; Maryam’s controlled and Ziba’s timid, heavily-accented voices. It’s like I’ve got my own personal theatre inside my car.
The only other voice to captivate me so was Sally Darling’s reading of To Kill a Mockingbird. But that’s another review. Take Blair along for the ride and keep the roads safe.
December 31, 2018
(3.5) This stands out from Tyler’s usual fare due to the multicultural nature: two Baltimore families pick up their adopted daughters from Korea at the Baltimore airport on the same summer night in 1997 � a slightly hippie American family, and an Iranian-American family. In the years that follow the two families stay close, hosting annual arrival anniversary parties and comparing their daughters� growth. My favorite character was Maryam, the Iranian-American grandmother, who is always having to renegotiate what it means to be foreign in America and who risks coming off as aloof because of her reserve. The plot is a bit repetitive and meandering, but Tyler’s personal connection to the subject matter (her husband was Iranian) comes through, there are wise and touching scenes of grief and family connection, and the point-of-view moves effortlessly between a number of the main characters, including the little girl Jin-Ho.
Favorite lines:
“Oh, wasn’t adoption better than childbirth? More dramatic, more meaningful. Bitsy felt sorry for those poor women who had merely delivered.�
(Maryam) “She wondered if there was a gene for that—for holding oneself back, resisting the communal merriment.�
Favorite lines:
“Oh, wasn’t adoption better than childbirth? More dramatic, more meaningful. Bitsy felt sorry for those poor women who had merely delivered.�
(Maryam) “She wondered if there was a gene for that—for holding oneself back, resisting the communal merriment.�
April 16, 2008
Currently reading for a local book club. I would not have chosen this book myself based on the first several pages. It's an easy read, with too many mundane details. I find myself skimming over a lot of the text and that is not what I find an enjoyable. Nonetheless, some of the characters are interesting... we'll see where it goes.
Update: I only made it half way through and won't finish it. The book club gave this story a unanimous thumbs down due to sketchy, somewhat schizophrenic, character development, and an unlikely story line. Nothing much here to make you turn the page.
Update: I only made it half way through and won't finish it. The book club gave this story a unanimous thumbs down due to sketchy, somewhat schizophrenic, character development, and an unlikely story line. Nothing much here to make you turn the page.
August 17, 2018
Digital audiobook narrated by Blair Brown
A story of the immigrant experience and two families united by the decision to adopt. The novel opens at the airport where the Donaldsons and the Yazdans wait for the daughters they’ve adopted from Korea to arrive. Bitsy and Brad Donaldson, their parents, siblings, nieces and nephews are all there, loud, boisterous, excited to welcome the new addition to their family � Jin-Ho. They virtually take over the gate area. Lost at the back of the crowd wait Maryam, her son, Sami, and his American-Iranian wife, Ziba. Maryam Yazdan had come to America as a young bride and was widowed before she was forty. She retains the reserved, formal demeanor of her Iranian upbringing. Though they don’t express it outwardly, the Yazdans are just as excited to welcome Sooki, whom they will call Susan, to their family.
Tyler writes so well about family dynamics, about all the little events in our lives that both form and show who we are. One sentence perfectly sums it up: �Like most life-altering moments, it was disappointingly lacking in drama.� Over the course of the novel the reader will witness many of these little moments, will watch as two families come together based on a chance meeting, will learn how they differ and how they are the same.
The book also explores what it means to be “American.� Maryam, having lived two thirds of her life in the United States, carrying an American passport, still feels like a foreigner. Ziba, having come to America as a teenager, is fully assimilated, though she still speaks with a slight accent. Bitsy could never be mistaken for anything but an American; friendly and outgoing, offering her opinion on everything without a thought to how it might be received, and yet desperate to infuse her children’s upbringing with some of their native cultures (even when the kids want nothing more than to fit in with their peers, and not wear those “ridiculous outfits�).
As I got to know these characters, I grew to love them. And I wanted to give them all a big hug at the end.
Blair Brown does a fine job narrating the audiobook. She’s a talented actress and breathes life into all these characters. I particularly liked the way she interpreted Maryam and Bitsy, two women who are virtually polar opposites.
A story of the immigrant experience and two families united by the decision to adopt. The novel opens at the airport where the Donaldsons and the Yazdans wait for the daughters they’ve adopted from Korea to arrive. Bitsy and Brad Donaldson, their parents, siblings, nieces and nephews are all there, loud, boisterous, excited to welcome the new addition to their family � Jin-Ho. They virtually take over the gate area. Lost at the back of the crowd wait Maryam, her son, Sami, and his American-Iranian wife, Ziba. Maryam Yazdan had come to America as a young bride and was widowed before she was forty. She retains the reserved, formal demeanor of her Iranian upbringing. Though they don’t express it outwardly, the Yazdans are just as excited to welcome Sooki, whom they will call Susan, to their family.
Tyler writes so well about family dynamics, about all the little events in our lives that both form and show who we are. One sentence perfectly sums it up: �Like most life-altering moments, it was disappointingly lacking in drama.� Over the course of the novel the reader will witness many of these little moments, will watch as two families come together based on a chance meeting, will learn how they differ and how they are the same.
The book also explores what it means to be “American.� Maryam, having lived two thirds of her life in the United States, carrying an American passport, still feels like a foreigner. Ziba, having come to America as a teenager, is fully assimilated, though she still speaks with a slight accent. Bitsy could never be mistaken for anything but an American; friendly and outgoing, offering her opinion on everything without a thought to how it might be received, and yet desperate to infuse her children’s upbringing with some of their native cultures (even when the kids want nothing more than to fit in with their peers, and not wear those “ridiculous outfits�).
As I got to know these characters, I grew to love them. And I wanted to give them all a big hug at the end.
Blair Brown does a fine job narrating the audiobook. She’s a talented actress and breathes life into all these characters. I particularly liked the way she interpreted Maryam and Bitsy, two women who are virtually polar opposites.
Read
July 23, 2008I'M DOING THAT WEIRD THING AGAIN.
It occurs more regularly at those points in life when your bookshelf is particularly bare. I should certainly know, because right now half my books are trying to flatten out a bunch of AMAZING (and yet equally horrible) 90's movie posters I found at a garage sale last month. I'm thinking about wallpapering our living room with the likes of "Heat", "Weird Creatures", "Dante's Peak", and, of course, my favorite, "Jingle All the Way" (never actually saw it, mind you, but the face Arnold Schwarzenegger is making on the front should be the one he makes in every campaign photo. california would be 20x cooler)
Anyway, you're really tired because you just came home from shooting a mexican infommercial for 14 hours and you need something to read to unwind while you cook your creamy-chicken-flavored-ramen-noodles. but, mysteriously, there's nothing to read around. so you go hunting for the "sex drugs and cocoa puffs" book you threw behind the couch when you got annoyed at chuck last month, but all you can find, all you can EVER seem to find lately, is "Digging to America", which you have already read and don't really care to restart. but you pick up anyway. because you are DOING THAT THING AGAIN.
doing that thing, you know, where you just pick up the book, choose a page, and start reading, only because it's the most convenient thing around, for days and days, until you notice you're starting to piece together the book again the way you first read it. and, whoa, you liked it the first time, because all of anne tyler's books are the kind of mellow slow build that draw you into the characters, not the story, but this time, jumping from place to place, reading chapters at a time, you start to notice things about people you hadn't before, which is why you love these books, because it's just like living with the people you're reading about.
which, of course, can be annoying. i find "annoyance" the most common reaction to anne tyler's books. you have to be patient with her characters the same way you're patient with an actual person. they're real. in all their traits and mannerisms and quirks and pitfalls, you have to look really hard to find what tyler may or may not be trying to tell you, (i imagine her to be much like her often absentminded characters, often forgetting what book she's even writing, and not that motivated in the first part to tell you anything in particular, anyway) through the memories and little moments she imparts sporadically throughout the telling.
so i'm doing that thing again, but it's turned out kind of nice. just, you know, like spending time with the extended fam.
if only doing "that thing" again with "sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs" had worked out quite so nice. chuck might still be around.
It occurs more regularly at those points in life when your bookshelf is particularly bare. I should certainly know, because right now half my books are trying to flatten out a bunch of AMAZING (and yet equally horrible) 90's movie posters I found at a garage sale last month. I'm thinking about wallpapering our living room with the likes of "Heat", "Weird Creatures", "Dante's Peak", and, of course, my favorite, "Jingle All the Way" (never actually saw it, mind you, but the face Arnold Schwarzenegger is making on the front should be the one he makes in every campaign photo. california would be 20x cooler)
Anyway, you're really tired because you just came home from shooting a mexican infommercial for 14 hours and you need something to read to unwind while you cook your creamy-chicken-flavored-ramen-noodles. but, mysteriously, there's nothing to read around. so you go hunting for the "sex drugs and cocoa puffs" book you threw behind the couch when you got annoyed at chuck last month, but all you can find, all you can EVER seem to find lately, is "Digging to America", which you have already read and don't really care to restart. but you pick up anyway. because you are DOING THAT THING AGAIN.
doing that thing, you know, where you just pick up the book, choose a page, and start reading, only because it's the most convenient thing around, for days and days, until you notice you're starting to piece together the book again the way you first read it. and, whoa, you liked it the first time, because all of anne tyler's books are the kind of mellow slow build that draw you into the characters, not the story, but this time, jumping from place to place, reading chapters at a time, you start to notice things about people you hadn't before, which is why you love these books, because it's just like living with the people you're reading about.
which, of course, can be annoying. i find "annoyance" the most common reaction to anne tyler's books. you have to be patient with her characters the same way you're patient with an actual person. they're real. in all their traits and mannerisms and quirks and pitfalls, you have to look really hard to find what tyler may or may not be trying to tell you, (i imagine her to be much like her often absentminded characters, often forgetting what book she's even writing, and not that motivated in the first part to tell you anything in particular, anyway) through the memories and little moments she imparts sporadically throughout the telling.
so i'm doing that thing again, but it's turned out kind of nice. just, you know, like spending time with the extended fam.
if only doing "that thing" again with "sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs" had worked out quite so nice. chuck might still be around.
September 15, 2007
I really enjoyed this book! I found myself telling people about it over the week or so that I read it. I found it really fascinating -- this look at Americans and "foreigners" -- seen through this tale of two very different families who are brought together by the adoption of Korean baby girls. I loved how different the two families were -- heritage, parenting approaches, personality, etc. I could appreciate the two new mothers and their varied feelings. I could relate to both Bitsy and Ziba, as different as they were from each other. Though, I'm not sure I would have appreciated that aspect of the book if I wasn't yet a mother. I loved how the author really developed the various characters -- the parents and grandparents of the little girls. It was through the character development that the story of the girls was told. I was suprised by all of this -- I'd had the misconception that it was going to be about the girls and their experiences as they grew. But, that was really just a back-drop for the "real" story with Maryam and her inner struggle with her self-proclaimed "outsiderness." My only complaint about the book was the ending. I was a little disappointed -- I wasn't quite ready for it to end where it did. I closed the book feeling like I'd been cut off -- I wanted more. But, as I reflect a bit more, I think it was a very nice way to end the book. I think this would be a great book for a book club -- lots of things to discuss.
February 9, 2011
288 pages of absolutely no story, boring characters and just poor writing. The emphasis of this novel is on subtlety, if by that you mean that nothing actually happens then yes, that would be an accurate description.
Seriously, I finished each chapter and thought to myself: "so what actually happened there?" And the answer is nothing. This is a very boring book, I wasted a painful few weeks of my life trying to drag myself through it, I have to finish a book once I start it but I very nearly gave up with this one.
There are no interesting characters, not one I can feel any kind of endearing emotion towards... I always try to find something good to say about a novel, even the ones I really didn't like, but I can't think of anything good to say about this. I hated it.
Seriously, I finished each chapter and thought to myself: "so what actually happened there?" And the answer is nothing. This is a very boring book, I wasted a painful few weeks of my life trying to drag myself through it, I have to finish a book once I start it but I very nearly gave up with this one.
There are no interesting characters, not one I can feel any kind of endearing emotion towards... I always try to find something good to say about a novel, even the ones I really didn't like, but I can't think of anything good to say about this. I hated it.
July 7, 2015
مهاجرت، غربت، فرهنگ، زبان، تنهایی، خانواده و زندگی.. همه این موارد در این کتاب بارها و بارها از فکر تک تک شخصیت ها میگذرد.. فکر کردنی که ناگزیر به انجام آن هستید.
بارها خودم را به جای مریم تصور کردم و احساس کردم اگر روندِ زندگیم اینگونه می شد حتما زنِ میانسالی همچون مریم می شدم.. با همان خصوصیات و ضرافت ها.. حتی اندکی هم برای اتفاقِ در پایانِ کتاب ذوق و شوق داشتم آنقدر که مریم بودم..
حداقل برایِ من، داستان خیلی روندِ تکراری و قابل پیش بینی ای داشت، شاید برای آمریکایی ها رمانی راجع به یک خانواده ایرانی که سال هاست در آمریکان و رابطه نزدیکشون با یک خانواده آمریکایی، جذاب باشه.
بارها خودم را به جای مریم تصور کردم و احساس کردم اگر روندِ زندگیم اینگونه می شد حتما زنِ میانسالی همچون مریم می شدم.. با همان خصوصیات و ضرافت ها.. حتی اندکی هم برای اتفاقِ در پایانِ کتاب ذوق و شوق داشتم آنقدر که مریم بودم..
حداقل برایِ من، داستان خیلی روندِ تکراری و قابل پیش بینی ای داشت، شاید برای آمریکایی ها رمانی راجع به یک خانواده ایرانی که سال هاست در آمریکان و رابطه نزدیکشون با یک خانواده آمریکایی، جذاب باشه.
February 8, 2008
I'm always amazed how Ann Tyler can write such riveting stories where not all that much happens. It's all about the characters and "Digging To America" is no exception.
It follows the intertwined lives of two couples who meet at the Baltimore Airport when picking up their adopted Korean daughters. Bitsy and Brad are white upper-class Americans, while Sami and Ziba are Iranian-Americans. Their friendship spans their daughters' childhood.
What I really enjoyed about this book is the insight about infertility and adoption, which has been called everyone's second choice. We see how hard the couples tried to conceive and how adoption turned out to be different than they expected. (Ziba weeps uncontrolably one night as her daughter sleeps, wondering "Where is my own baby?")
It follows the intertwined lives of two couples who meet at the Baltimore Airport when picking up their adopted Korean daughters. Bitsy and Brad are white upper-class Americans, while Sami and Ziba are Iranian-Americans. Their friendship spans their daughters' childhood.
What I really enjoyed about this book is the insight about infertility and adoption, which has been called everyone's second choice. We see how hard the couples tried to conceive and how adoption turned out to be different than they expected. (Ziba weeps uncontrolably one night as her daughter sleeps, wondering "Where is my own baby?")
February 9, 2021
‘Like most life-altering moments, it was disappointingly lacking in drama�, writes Anne Tyler describing, well, a life-changing event, but she might as well have been describing her way of writing those moments, only they aren’t disappointing. Quite the opposite, in my opinion.
In Digging to America, she is back at her usual tropes of little towns, interconnected families and living from one day to the next, but she also ventures into newer themes, international adoption, immigrant living and a sizable post 9/11 discourse. The book feels like one big festivity after another, a few gatherings and then a few parties, all in celebration of homecomings, birthdays, even pacifier-leavings and leaf rakings.
The lives of two poles-apart families, one Iranian-American and one pure-bred American, are forever entwined as they meet at the airport to collect their adopted Korean babies. The plot meanders through the clash of the foreign and the familiar in every aspect of their everyday existence. Everyone’s reconfiguring their lives as new parents and grandparents, but looking at the larger whole, everyone’s reconfiguring their lives to varying degrees of Americanism. Tyler goes down to the roots of belonging, explores the ever-changing definition of home, and concludes with the idea that we’re all outsiders, if not of place, then of privilege or power or any number of things. In Tyler’s version of the world, real as the one we live in, she carves a place for each outsider with the help of another, different kind of outsider. It’s all about resisting, resenting, and warming up to other people, because after all that makes us different, there’s more that binds us with each other.
I feel like I choose an Anne Tyler book for those opportune days that, when looked back upon, I need her the most. Is that what they call a ‘kismet connection�? I feel it is. 3.5 stars!
In Digging to America, she is back at her usual tropes of little towns, interconnected families and living from one day to the next, but she also ventures into newer themes, international adoption, immigrant living and a sizable post 9/11 discourse. The book feels like one big festivity after another, a few gatherings and then a few parties, all in celebration of homecomings, birthdays, even pacifier-leavings and leaf rakings.
The lives of two poles-apart families, one Iranian-American and one pure-bred American, are forever entwined as they meet at the airport to collect their adopted Korean babies. The plot meanders through the clash of the foreign and the familiar in every aspect of their everyday existence. Everyone’s reconfiguring their lives as new parents and grandparents, but looking at the larger whole, everyone’s reconfiguring their lives to varying degrees of Americanism. Tyler goes down to the roots of belonging, explores the ever-changing definition of home, and concludes with the idea that we’re all outsiders, if not of place, then of privilege or power or any number of things. In Tyler’s version of the world, real as the one we live in, she carves a place for each outsider with the help of another, different kind of outsider. It’s all about resisting, resenting, and warming up to other people, because after all that makes us different, there’s more that binds us with each other.
I feel like I choose an Anne Tyler book for those opportune days that, when looked back upon, I need her the most. Is that what they call a ‘kismet connection�? I feel it is. 3.5 stars!
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September 17, 2021Gave up by pg.75. Way too much about the grown-ups, and not nearly enough about the two little adopted girls.
May 30, 2023
از آن تایلر کتاب شام در رستوران دلتنگی رو خونده بودم و میدونستم حفره ای تا آمریکا داستان تقابل یک خانواده� ایرانی و آمریکاییه�. اما الان میتونم بگم داستان حفره ای تا آمریکا داستان مهاجرته. سختی واقعی مهاجرت، هویت هایی که از یه طرف میخوان همرنگ جماعت شن و از طرفی میخوان غریبگیشون رو حفظ کنن. مهاجرت به معنای واقعی تو این کتاب توصیف میشه. درد نشناختن خودت و کم شدن تعلق خاطر یه چیزهایی که زمانی "تو" رو میساختن رو برات آشنا میکنه و الان فکر میکنم مریم یزدان انگار از یه سریال ایرانی دهه� هفتاد پرتاب شده بود به یه سریال مدرن آمریکایی و همونقدر خودشو گمشده و نامربوط احساس میکرد. زیبا و واقعی بود و ترجمه� روانی داشت.
January 20, 2021
Crazy over this book What a wonderful, hopeful, appealing story with a range of characters who are all memorable and endearing. Sometimes we have to take a step back and really open our eyes and hearts to each other—and to ourselves. It seems fitting that I finished this book on the dawn of a new chapter in American history😁
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