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On the Whole: A Story of Mothering and Disability
Ona Gritz has had cerebral palsy all her life, but until she gave birth to her son, she didn’t really understand what it meant to be disabled. Her cerebral palsy affects her coordination and balance but not enough to have ever truly hindered her. “For the most part, I considered my disability a cosmetic issue,� she tells us in On the Whole. “Just how obvious is it? Do people see me as pretty despite the limp?� But now she’s got a new baby to care for, and no one has warned her what a physical job she has taken on. She can’t bathe her son by herself or carry him up or down a flight of stairs. Nor can she feed herself or even open a refrigerator with a baby in her arms. And her baby will settle for nothing less than being in her arms. With lyricism and candor, poet Ona Gritz shares her son’s first years with us, a time when she wanted nothing more than what all of us want—to be the perfect mother, only her imperfections kept getting in the way.
Ona Gritz is a columnist for the online journal Literary Mama. Her essays have appeared in More, the Utne Reader, New York Family Magazine, Brain Child, the Bellingham Review, and elsewhere. She is the author of two children’s books, Starfish Summer (Harper Collins, 1998) and Tangerines & Tea, My Grandparents & Me (Harry N. Abrams, 2005) and a full-length collection of poems, Geode, which was a finalist for the Main Street Rag Poetry Book Award. Ona is currently at work on a memoir.
This is a short e-book published by Shebooks--high quality fiction, memoir, and journalism for women, by women. For more information, visit
Ona Gritz is a columnist for the online journal Literary Mama. Her essays have appeared in More, the Utne Reader, New York Family Magazine, Brain Child, the Bellingham Review, and elsewhere. She is the author of two children’s books, Starfish Summer (Harper Collins, 1998) and Tangerines & Tea, My Grandparents & Me (Harry N. Abrams, 2005) and a full-length collection of poems, Geode, which was a finalist for the Main Street Rag Poetry Book Award. Ona is currently at work on a memoir.
This is a short e-book published by Shebooks--high quality fiction, memoir, and journalism for women, by women. For more information, visit
- GenresNonfiction
37 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 9, 2014
2 people are currently reading
74 people want to read
About the author
Ona Gritz
15Ìýbooks53ÌýfollowersOna Gritz writes memoir, essays, and poetry for adults, verse novels for teens, and fiction for children. Her memoir, Everywhere I Look, will be released on April 16th from Apprentice House Press of Loyola University.
Ona’s nonfiction has appeared widely, including in The New York Times, The Guardian, The Utne Reader, Brevity, Parents, The Rumpus, and River Teeth. Among her recent honors are two Notable mentions in The Best American Essays and A Best Life Story in Salon.
Ona’s poetry collection Geode was a finalist for the Main Street Rag Poetry Book Award. Her poems can be found in Ploughshares, The Bellevue Literary Review, One Art, Catamaran Literary Reader, Stone Gathering, SWWIM, Literary Mama, and elsewhere. In 2020, she won The Poetry Archive Now: Wordview 2020 Project.
Ona’s 2023 novel for children, August Or Forever, was a Reader’s Choice and Wishing Shelf finalist in middle grade fiction. The Space You Left Behind, her first young adult novel, written in verse, is forthcoming from West 44 Books in June 2024.
Ona’s nonfiction has appeared widely, including in The New York Times, The Guardian, The Utne Reader, Brevity, Parents, The Rumpus, and River Teeth. Among her recent honors are two Notable mentions in The Best American Essays and A Best Life Story in Salon.
Ona’s poetry collection Geode was a finalist for the Main Street Rag Poetry Book Award. Her poems can be found in Ploughshares, The Bellevue Literary Review, One Art, Catamaran Literary Reader, Stone Gathering, SWWIM, Literary Mama, and elsewhere. In 2020, she won The Poetry Archive Now: Wordview 2020 Project.
Ona’s 2023 novel for children, August Or Forever, was a Reader’s Choice and Wishing Shelf finalist in middle grade fiction. The Space You Left Behind, her first young adult novel, written in verse, is forthcoming from West 44 Books in June 2024.
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
June 12, 2014
First, the disclosure. Ona Gritz and I attended NYU'S graduate Poetry program together several centuries ago. Later we both lived in the same town, but we only ran into each other occasionally. I only found out that she'd written On the Whole, as well as a poetry collection, a couple of days ago when I read someone else's review of the former. It sounded intriguing, and I wanted to find out what my old friend had been up to, so I downloaded a copy of On the Whole.
My mental picture of Ona back in our grad school days always includes her bright, friendly smile. She was just one of those people whom you know instinctively to be incapable of intentionally hurting anyone, and who would do anything she could for someone she cared about. If someone had asked me, back then, before the possibility that either one of us would actually have children (her son is a couple of years older than my own) had occurred to me, if I thought she'd be a good mother, I'd have answered with a resounding yes. That wouldn't normally be something that one would include in a book review, but Ona has written about the process of raising her son for many years, and On the Whole is a part of that ongoing endeavor.
I also remember that Ona always had a bit of a limp, but she never seemed concerned about it, and it certainly didn't seem to affect her in any discernible way. I don't know that it ever came up in conversation.
When I downloaded On the Whole, I was busy doing other things and I figured that I'd just read the first few pages to get an idea what it was like, and come back to it later. Instead, I read straight through it in less than an hour (it's just under 40 pages). I was surprised to find myself tearing up while reading some parts of it; Ona's elegant and straightforward writing style brought back the early days of my own son's life, and my own misgivings about whether I'd ever figure out how to "do it right", more clearly than anything I've come across since then. She never tries to gloss over the hard parts of motherhood in glowy prose. Her honesty and forthrightness are really refreshing.
But On the Whole addresses something that many of us never have to deal with, or try to come to terms with, as we learn to be parents. Almost as soon as her son is born, the Cerebral Palsy that Ona and her parents had pretty blithely taken in stride as little more than a minor inconvenience takes on an entirely different character. For the first time in her life, Ona finds that there are things that she can't do, and the realization that her baby is almost entirely dependent upon her in spite of that is, understandably, terrifying to her. Relatively simple (once one gets the hang of them) things like breastfeeding and getting a stroller on and off of a bus or train become nearly impossible tasks, and Ona faces the troubling reality that there are times at which she and her son will have to rely on the kindness of strangers for help--and that some strangers are not so kind. She recounts her fear, her pain, and, later, her anger so clearly and evocatively that I found myself feeling them with her.
In the hands of a lesser writer, On the Whole might be relegated to a narrow shelf of "books about mothers with disabilities". But the book is much more than that. It's a book about being human, and in particular about learning to continually--or perhaps suddenly--revise our understanding of who we are, what we're capable of, and what's important to us.
My mental picture of Ona back in our grad school days always includes her bright, friendly smile. She was just one of those people whom you know instinctively to be incapable of intentionally hurting anyone, and who would do anything she could for someone she cared about. If someone had asked me, back then, before the possibility that either one of us would actually have children (her son is a couple of years older than my own) had occurred to me, if I thought she'd be a good mother, I'd have answered with a resounding yes. That wouldn't normally be something that one would include in a book review, but Ona has written about the process of raising her son for many years, and On the Whole is a part of that ongoing endeavor.
I also remember that Ona always had a bit of a limp, but she never seemed concerned about it, and it certainly didn't seem to affect her in any discernible way. I don't know that it ever came up in conversation.
When I downloaded On the Whole, I was busy doing other things and I figured that I'd just read the first few pages to get an idea what it was like, and come back to it later. Instead, I read straight through it in less than an hour (it's just under 40 pages). I was surprised to find myself tearing up while reading some parts of it; Ona's elegant and straightforward writing style brought back the early days of my own son's life, and my own misgivings about whether I'd ever figure out how to "do it right", more clearly than anything I've come across since then. She never tries to gloss over the hard parts of motherhood in glowy prose. Her honesty and forthrightness are really refreshing.
But On the Whole addresses something that many of us never have to deal with, or try to come to terms with, as we learn to be parents. Almost as soon as her son is born, the Cerebral Palsy that Ona and her parents had pretty blithely taken in stride as little more than a minor inconvenience takes on an entirely different character. For the first time in her life, Ona finds that there are things that she can't do, and the realization that her baby is almost entirely dependent upon her in spite of that is, understandably, terrifying to her. Relatively simple (once one gets the hang of them) things like breastfeeding and getting a stroller on and off of a bus or train become nearly impossible tasks, and Ona faces the troubling reality that there are times at which she and her son will have to rely on the kindness of strangers for help--and that some strangers are not so kind. She recounts her fear, her pain, and, later, her anger so clearly and evocatively that I found myself feeling them with her.
In the hands of a lesser writer, On the Whole might be relegated to a narrow shelf of "books about mothers with disabilities". But the book is much more than that. It's a book about being human, and in particular about learning to continually--or perhaps suddenly--revise our understanding of who we are, what we're capable of, and what's important to us.
October 11, 2021
Lovely and heart wrenching memoir. It is quite short and ends abruptly, but every moment she shares is heartfelt and moving.
This is the first piece I’ve read from Ona Gritz and I would happily read more. This memoir is currently free in the Audible Plus catalog.
This is the first piece I’ve read from Ona Gritz and I would happily read more. This memoir is currently free in the Audible Plus catalog.
December 27, 2020
interesting read, pretty short for the length of time it covers but good read
November 9, 2022
This very short audio essay is a touching glimpse into a situation few of us can imagine. It is the honest and thoughtful story of a woman with cerebral palsy becoming a mother.
July 6, 2015
Lovely, like all of Ona Gritz's work. I'm familiar with her essays from Literary Mama and was happy to have something longer of hers to read. Highly recommended.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
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