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Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous
ŷ Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Nonfiction (2024)What do you want, when no one is watching?
What do you want, when the lights are off?
What do you want, when you are anonymous?
When we talk about sex, we talk about womanhood and motherhood, infidelity and exploitation, consent and respect, fairness and egalitarianism, love and hate, pleasure and pain. And yet for many reasons � some complicated, some not � so many of us don't talk about it. Our deepest, most intimate fears and fantasies remain locked away inside of us, until someone comes along with the key. Here's the key. In this generation-defining book, Gillian Anderson collects and introduces the anonymous letters of hundreds of women from around the world (along with her own anonymous letter). Want reveals how women feel about sex when they have the freedom to be totally anonymous.
What do you want, when the lights are off?
What do you want, when you are anonymous?
When we talk about sex, we talk about womanhood and motherhood, infidelity and exploitation, consent and respect, fairness and egalitarianism, love and hate, pleasure and pain. And yet for many reasons � some complicated, some not � so many of us don't talk about it. Our deepest, most intimate fears and fantasies remain locked away inside of us, until someone comes along with the key. Here's the key. In this generation-defining book, Gillian Anderson collects and introduces the anonymous letters of hundreds of women from around the world (along with her own anonymous letter). Want reveals how women feel about sex when they have the freedom to be totally anonymous.
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First published September 17, 2024
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About the author
Anonymous
791kbooks3,266followersBooks can be attributed to "Anonymous" for several reasons:
* They are officially published under that name
* They are traditional stories not attributed to a specific author
* They are religious texts not generally attributed to a specific author
Books whose authorship is merely uncertain should be attributed to Unknown.
See also: Anonymous
* They are officially published under that name
* They are traditional stories not attributed to a specific author
* They are religious texts not generally attributed to a specific author
Books whose authorship is merely uncertain should be attributed to Unknown.
See also: Anonymous
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Want to read
March 29, 2024A book of anonymous letters detailing women’s secret sex fantasies and it’s edited/introduced by THE Gillian Anderson? Girl, I need this yesterday!
My secret sex fantasy is Gillian herself but it’s actually not very secret, I would let that lady walk me like a dog 😭🧎🏻♀�
My secret sex fantasy is Gillian herself but it’s actually not very secret, I would let that lady walk me like a dog 😭🧎🏻♀�
September 19, 2024
I wouldn’t call Want empowering, or enriching. I wouldn’t call it thought-provoking. I’d call it a compendium of female sexual fantasies selected by an actress I really like. Nothing more. Nothing less.
The decision to group the stories based on their shared themes was not the best choice. Halfway through each chapter I felt tedium setting in. I also think that we might have gotten a bit more insight if another avenue for collating the stories was taken.
Some fantasies were not fantasies, some were overwritten, some were unsurprising, others somewhat surprising. There are insightful fantasies, simple and complex ones, short ones, long ones (that’s what she said). Some were beautiful, some were sad. Some made me mad (I’m not doing this to make it rhyme, I swear). The ones I liked the most are the ones which made me feel like the women who wrote them were liberated by their submissions (pun intended).
The decision to group the stories based on their shared themes was not the best choice. Halfway through each chapter I felt tedium setting in. I also think that we might have gotten a bit more insight if another avenue for collating the stories was taken.
Some fantasies were not fantasies, some were overwritten, some were unsurprising, others somewhat surprising. There are insightful fantasies, simple and complex ones, short ones, long ones (that’s what she said). Some were beautiful, some were sad. Some made me mad (I’m not doing this to make it rhyme, I swear). The ones I liked the most are the ones which made me feel like the women who wrote them were liberated by their submissions (pun intended).
September 29, 2024
So, this started off quite enjoyable. I felt like I was having a bit of a gossip with a book, and some made me burst out laughing whilst others touched me. A lot of women (and NBs) really just crave security and affection, and the fact so many have never experienced that makes me sad, but also, I totally understand. It took me a long time to find that dynamic, and I became incredibly grateful that I did.
However, after the half way point, the novelty of the book became thin. There was no purpose other than collecting sex fantasy stories � there was no deeper examination, no commentary, nothing. The stories became repetitive and many were incredibly dull and badly written.
Would this book help give women the confidence to speak up and ask for what they want? No. Would this book educate people on what women want? No because most fantasies were silly and not applicable to the vast majority. Did this book raise questions about female sexuality and desires? No. Did it examine the sexual fantasies and critically look at how women’s sexual desires have been left unfulfilled for centuries and give guidance or even pose questions on how to change this? No.
I can’t imagine people who read smut regularly would find the perpetual monotonous waterboarding of sexual fantasies enjoyable throughout the book. There wasn’t a purpose and that became clear by the half way point. There was an opportunity to do something for women here, and it was missed in exchange for a cheap marketing gimmick and banking and profiting from other women without offering anything in return, under the clever marketing of “empowering� women.
Internalised patriarchal exploitation for the win, eh Anderson?
However, after the half way point, the novelty of the book became thin. There was no purpose other than collecting sex fantasy stories � there was no deeper examination, no commentary, nothing. The stories became repetitive and many were incredibly dull and badly written.
Would this book help give women the confidence to speak up and ask for what they want? No. Would this book educate people on what women want? No because most fantasies were silly and not applicable to the vast majority. Did this book raise questions about female sexuality and desires? No. Did it examine the sexual fantasies and critically look at how women’s sexual desires have been left unfulfilled for centuries and give guidance or even pose questions on how to change this? No.
I can’t imagine people who read smut regularly would find the perpetual monotonous waterboarding of sexual fantasies enjoyable throughout the book. There wasn’t a purpose and that became clear by the half way point. There was an opportunity to do something for women here, and it was missed in exchange for a cheap marketing gimmick and banking and profiting from other women without offering anything in return, under the clever marketing of “empowering� women.
Internalised patriarchal exploitation for the win, eh Anderson?
October 19, 2024
Anderson has intended this collection of sex fantasies by anonymous women to be a sequel to from 1973, in order to investigate what has and hasn't changed. Hence, that's the frame of mind the book has to be approached with: These are texts written by average people from all over the world, some providing info regarding their race, country, sexual orientation and marital status, so to judge the aesthetic merit (which of course tends to be not that great) is besides the point. This is about illuminating the (existing or non-existing) gap between fantasy and reality, about reducing stigma and tackling silence about sex, especially in context of non-normative bodies or kink (with the word itself being problematized, as what can be categorized as kink is debatable).
Editor Gillian Anderson, who hid her own fantasy somewhere in the compendium, does a great job writing introductions to each chapter, the structure aiming (and often failing) to provide some order by imposing themes on fantasies, from harmless wishes to more controversial ones. Thus, the book offers a wide variety of experiences, from married heterosexual to queer to disabled people, some in partnerships of differing success, and a multitude of imaginary scenarios that arouse the writers for different reasons.
So not a literary experience per se, but more like intriguing raw material for a study on female sexuality.
Editor Gillian Anderson, who hid her own fantasy somewhere in the compendium, does a great job writing introductions to each chapter, the structure aiming (and often failing) to provide some order by imposing themes on fantasies, from harmless wishes to more controversial ones. Thus, the book offers a wide variety of experiences, from married heterosexual to queer to disabled people, some in partnerships of differing success, and a multitude of imaginary scenarios that arouse the writers for different reasons.
So not a literary experience per se, but more like intriguing raw material for a study on female sexuality.
October 1, 2024
My Selling Pitch:
Are you down to be bummed the fuck out when you realize 90% of the submitted fantasies are just please be nice to me and also I hate my body? This won’t get you hot and bothered, and it’s not a feminist analysis of desire, but if you wanna waste a few hours of your life, you can read some amateurs� vanilla ass sex scenes, Shrek fanfiction, and bestiality. You know, because they consciously chose not to include anything unethical.
On my do not read list.
Pre-reading:
If there's one thing I love, it’s a pink cover.
Thick of it:
It makes me so sad that so many of these women’s deepest fantasies that they want to share with the world involve so much insecurity and self-hatred of their bodies.
Oh my god, girl, break up with him.
All these women’s fantasies are like my deepest darkest desires are that he treats me nicely and that I have a better body. Also, he’s like actively mean to me in our day-to-day life, but that’s marriage!
And I’m just like this can’t be it.
We can’t have been sold this much of a lie.
the publishing house: look sexy book about women's desires, so spicy, so risqué
the content: my deepest, darkest desire is for a man to be nice to me and not hurt me and also skinny
This book is depressing me.
Some of these writers need to chill with the euphemisms for parts. Just say cunt.
Girlypop, that’s just wanting to fuck god.
See, that one- feminist. Well written. Hot and self-aware. (Only one in the damn book.)
Anytime there’s not an Oxford comma my brain shudders.
I would have a painting like that.
That single sentence is a waste of a letter in this book. (Imagine your letter got bumped for the page count and they put that in its place.)
Honey, that’s not straight.
I find it so odd how we can guess writers� ages and countries and races and genders just through their narrative voice, but if you asked me to articulate what it is exactly about the writing that’s tipping me off, I don’t think I could do it.
Get a divorce.
Oneiric
A married man giving a stranger his hoodie because she thinks he’s hot-that’s cheating.
Some of these cringe me out so bad by using either anatomical terms or cutesy euphemisms.
limerence
Fuck your religion very much.
Get a divorce.
Typo in the finished copy is sloppy work.
God, I love the show Hannibal.
Oh girl, therapy for that one. Please want more for yourself.
Where’d you get door handles, Gillian? Unhinged?
Stop pretending period sex is kinky and not just a fact.
Girl. That’s gonna be a hard no from me. Straight to therapy. Too much pedo involved in it.
It’s a Saltburn thing.
Fucking Princess Bride.
That’s not even being dominated. What are you on?
It’s a weird one, but I get it.
Something about a hot doctor�
Why dirty though? Enjoy the BV, babe.
G spot sin
cacoethes
This girlypop can write, but like not surprised because power kinks usually go hand in hand with education.
Somebody is a classics girly.
Ha, I knew Greek. It’s such a preoccupation, but like they really do have such compelling gods.
There’s gotta be some correlation between being poor and these women actively fantasizing about being abused. Do they just not feel like they deserve more?
That’s not straight, bestie.
Girl, therapy. Thinking about your dad during sex is fucking weird.
Dunno if that switchy one is Gil, but I’m sus.
Your husband deserves better.
Are there private heated pools in the 1930s?
It’s so depressing when even other women are fantasizing about other women being subservient and sexually repressed and having to be goaded into fucking.
I am amazed at how many of these fantasies involve a single finger and I’m just like am I greedy or are they boring?
Honey, that’s the porn version of the seven dwarfs.
There’s consequences even on your bachelor and bachelorette. I hate that mindset. That is cheating.
She must mean glans given this book’s subject matter. That’s really upsetting for that to be a typo. How do you miss that?
I don’t think a moan can be dominating, babe.
lingam
Girl, leave that man. Are you joking?
I find it interesting how many of these letters are coming from women with high sex drives who somehow married men with low ones. I’m like didn’t you test this out before you got married?
I think it’s interesting how many of these letters specifically mention stretch marks.
What do you mean you don’t know what women taste like? Haven’t you tasted yourself? I feel like you’re lying.
Girlypops are really out here fantasizing about the bare minimum, and I am so depressed.
Oh my god, and another one getting the BV.
I feel like it shouldn’t need to be said, but don’t fuck trees.
Me: bopping along like I’m not having a good time but like I guess it’s a book you could read. Like I don’t think it’s entirely without value
Me: getting to the part where they included a letter about fucking Bigfoot.
Me: remembering there’s a single sentence in here that’s like I wanna do anal.
Gillian, what the shit
Oh sorry, not just Bigfoot- Bigfoot and his three dicks.
What are we doing?
And Harry Potter fanfiction. In this day and age.
Isn’t Sleepy Time Tea copywrit?
Girl, you literally just want a healthy relationship. That’s so sad.
This book: we’re not gonna do anything too taboo.
Also this book: here’s a letter about how I wanna fuck a horse.
This is Shrek fanfiction.
I-
Why is there bestiality in here? What the fuck is wrong with you?
We didn’t include any rape fantasies in here because it would be unethical.
But like you did. Also, how did that ethics conversation not also draw the line at bestiality?
No, because why is literally every fantasy please be nice to me? What the fuck.
Men reading the books you tell them to will never not be hot.
Post-reading:
Look I’m a veteran of the fanfiction trenches. I’ve read some weird shit. I’m very live and let live as long as we’re doing no harm.
What the fuck was this? Why are we selling this as a collection of feminist lens essays? This is not that book.
Predominantly it’s a bummer. I’d say 70% of these women’s fantasies are just being treated with basic decency. The rest are people who actively dislike their partners and need to break up. And then there’s a cute little 2% of absolutely fucked shit. You’re gonna get infections. You’re committing crimes. There were completely unethical stories in this collection, and I don’t understand why they were given the dignity of being published. The book literally starts off by giving the disclaimer that they consciously chose not to include any rape fantasies. And then that’s not an accurate statement for the collection. I think there’s a couple stories in here that are beyond dubious consent, and bestiality will always be rape. Seriously, I don’t know how you draw the ethical line at that, but not at fucking animals.
I think the book is being sold as a sexy examination of a diverse group of women. It’s not sexy. Sex scenes are hard- no pun intended. Professionals have a hard time getting them right. A group of amateurs is not doing any better. Using anatomical terms is not sexy. Using cutesy euphemisms is not sexy. Also, I think you need some length and depth-again, no pun intended-to craft a sexy scene. This book published a letter that was a single sentence that was like I want to do anal and thought it was doing something. I think the diversity sampling is very flawed. There were so many letters that came from people making over $120,000 a year. I’m sorry, but they are the exception to the human experience, so to act like they have the voice to speak for the common people is wild.
I think Gillian’s forewords were the most successful part of this book, but there was such an opportunity here to partner with an actual sex therapist, or a psychologist, or anyone involved in that field of study to give these fantasies more context. Without that authoritative voice, it’s just musing.
I think there’s a significant number of typos in the finished copy. How you miss that you wrote gland instead of glans in a book literally about sex is beyond me.
It doesn’t feel feminist. It doesn’t feel empowering. A lot of the stories end up feeling repetitive, which is ridiculous because desire is so wide and varied. And I think most damningly, the book just kind of lets women wallow in their mistreatment with this sort of eh, that’s life! air. Why aren’t these opinions being challenged? Why isn’t the audience given advice on if you feel this way too, here’s how you can love your body. Here’s how you can advocate for yourself. Here’s how to dump your trash, abusive partner.
So if it’s not for smut readers to get hot and bothered, if it’s not for feminists to critically analyze, if it’s not gonna have a self-help spin, what the hell is it for other than to be a lazy cash grab?
Who should read this:
People into sexual psychology but you’re gonna have to do all the analyzing yourself
Do I want to reread this:
No
Similar books:
* Fetish by Anonymous-collection of sexy short stories
* Laid and Confused by Maria Yagoda-sex self help book that reads more like a memoir
* Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again by Katherine Angel-examination of consent culture
* Butts: A Backstory by Heather Radke-nonfiction about the history of the sexualization of butts
* Wordslut by Amanda Montell-examination of language and misogyny
* Best Women’s Erotica Volume 8 by Rachel Krammer Bussel-collection of sexy short stories
Are you down to be bummed the fuck out when you realize 90% of the submitted fantasies are just please be nice to me and also I hate my body? This won’t get you hot and bothered, and it’s not a feminist analysis of desire, but if you wanna waste a few hours of your life, you can read some amateurs� vanilla ass sex scenes, Shrek fanfiction, and bestiality. You know, because they consciously chose not to include anything unethical.
On my do not read list.
Pre-reading:
If there's one thing I love, it’s a pink cover.
Thick of it:
It makes me so sad that so many of these women’s deepest fantasies that they want to share with the world involve so much insecurity and self-hatred of their bodies.
Oh my god, girl, break up with him.
All these women’s fantasies are like my deepest darkest desires are that he treats me nicely and that I have a better body. Also, he’s like actively mean to me in our day-to-day life, but that’s marriage!
And I’m just like this can’t be it.
We can’t have been sold this much of a lie.
the publishing house: look sexy book about women's desires, so spicy, so risqué
the content: my deepest, darkest desire is for a man to be nice to me and not hurt me and also skinny
This book is depressing me.
Some of these writers need to chill with the euphemisms for parts. Just say cunt.
Girlypop, that’s just wanting to fuck god.
See, that one- feminist. Well written. Hot and self-aware. (Only one in the damn book.)
Anytime there’s not an Oxford comma my brain shudders.
I would have a painting like that.
That single sentence is a waste of a letter in this book. (Imagine your letter got bumped for the page count and they put that in its place.)
Honey, that’s not straight.
I find it so odd how we can guess writers� ages and countries and races and genders just through their narrative voice, but if you asked me to articulate what it is exactly about the writing that’s tipping me off, I don’t think I could do it.
Get a divorce.
Oneiric
A married man giving a stranger his hoodie because she thinks he’s hot-that’s cheating.
Some of these cringe me out so bad by using either anatomical terms or cutesy euphemisms.
limerence
Fuck your religion very much.
Get a divorce.
Typo in the finished copy is sloppy work.
God, I love the show Hannibal.
Oh girl, therapy for that one. Please want more for yourself.
Where’d you get door handles, Gillian? Unhinged?
Stop pretending period sex is kinky and not just a fact.
Girl. That’s gonna be a hard no from me. Straight to therapy. Too much pedo involved in it.
It’s a Saltburn thing.
Fucking Princess Bride.
That’s not even being dominated. What are you on?
It’s a weird one, but I get it.
Something about a hot doctor�
Why dirty though? Enjoy the BV, babe.
G spot sin
cacoethes
This girlypop can write, but like not surprised because power kinks usually go hand in hand with education.
Somebody is a classics girly.
Ha, I knew Greek. It’s such a preoccupation, but like they really do have such compelling gods.
There’s gotta be some correlation between being poor and these women actively fantasizing about being abused. Do they just not feel like they deserve more?
That’s not straight, bestie.
Girl, therapy. Thinking about your dad during sex is fucking weird.
Dunno if that switchy one is Gil, but I’m sus.
Your husband deserves better.
Are there private heated pools in the 1930s?
It’s so depressing when even other women are fantasizing about other women being subservient and sexually repressed and having to be goaded into fucking.
I am amazed at how many of these fantasies involve a single finger and I’m just like am I greedy or are they boring?
Honey, that’s the porn version of the seven dwarfs.
There’s consequences even on your bachelor and bachelorette. I hate that mindset. That is cheating.
She must mean glans given this book’s subject matter. That’s really upsetting for that to be a typo. How do you miss that?
I don’t think a moan can be dominating, babe.
lingam
Girl, leave that man. Are you joking?
I find it interesting how many of these letters are coming from women with high sex drives who somehow married men with low ones. I’m like didn’t you test this out before you got married?
I think it’s interesting how many of these letters specifically mention stretch marks.
What do you mean you don’t know what women taste like? Haven’t you tasted yourself? I feel like you’re lying.
Girlypops are really out here fantasizing about the bare minimum, and I am so depressed.
Oh my god, and another one getting the BV.
I feel like it shouldn’t need to be said, but don’t fuck trees.
Me: bopping along like I’m not having a good time but like I guess it’s a book you could read. Like I don’t think it’s entirely without value
Me: getting to the part where they included a letter about fucking Bigfoot.
Me: remembering there’s a single sentence in here that’s like I wanna do anal.
Gillian, what the shit
Oh sorry, not just Bigfoot- Bigfoot and his three dicks.
What are we doing?
And Harry Potter fanfiction. In this day and age.
Isn’t Sleepy Time Tea copywrit?
Girl, you literally just want a healthy relationship. That’s so sad.
This book: we’re not gonna do anything too taboo.
Also this book: here’s a letter about how I wanna fuck a horse.
This is Shrek fanfiction.
I-
Why is there bestiality in here? What the fuck is wrong with you?
We didn’t include any rape fantasies in here because it would be unethical.
But like you did. Also, how did that ethics conversation not also draw the line at bestiality?
No, because why is literally every fantasy please be nice to me? What the fuck.
Men reading the books you tell them to will never not be hot.
Post-reading:
Look I’m a veteran of the fanfiction trenches. I’ve read some weird shit. I’m very live and let live as long as we’re doing no harm.
What the fuck was this? Why are we selling this as a collection of feminist lens essays? This is not that book.
Predominantly it’s a bummer. I’d say 70% of these women’s fantasies are just being treated with basic decency. The rest are people who actively dislike their partners and need to break up. And then there’s a cute little 2% of absolutely fucked shit. You’re gonna get infections. You’re committing crimes. There were completely unethical stories in this collection, and I don’t understand why they were given the dignity of being published. The book literally starts off by giving the disclaimer that they consciously chose not to include any rape fantasies. And then that’s not an accurate statement for the collection. I think there’s a couple stories in here that are beyond dubious consent, and bestiality will always be rape. Seriously, I don’t know how you draw the ethical line at that, but not at fucking animals.
I think the book is being sold as a sexy examination of a diverse group of women. It’s not sexy. Sex scenes are hard- no pun intended. Professionals have a hard time getting them right. A group of amateurs is not doing any better. Using anatomical terms is not sexy. Using cutesy euphemisms is not sexy. Also, I think you need some length and depth-again, no pun intended-to craft a sexy scene. This book published a letter that was a single sentence that was like I want to do anal and thought it was doing something. I think the diversity sampling is very flawed. There were so many letters that came from people making over $120,000 a year. I’m sorry, but they are the exception to the human experience, so to act like they have the voice to speak for the common people is wild.
I think Gillian’s forewords were the most successful part of this book, but there was such an opportunity here to partner with an actual sex therapist, or a psychologist, or anyone involved in that field of study to give these fantasies more context. Without that authoritative voice, it’s just musing.
I think there’s a significant number of typos in the finished copy. How you miss that you wrote gland instead of glans in a book literally about sex is beyond me.
It doesn’t feel feminist. It doesn’t feel empowering. A lot of the stories end up feeling repetitive, which is ridiculous because desire is so wide and varied. And I think most damningly, the book just kind of lets women wallow in their mistreatment with this sort of eh, that’s life! air. Why aren’t these opinions being challenged? Why isn’t the audience given advice on if you feel this way too, here’s how you can love your body. Here’s how you can advocate for yourself. Here’s how to dump your trash, abusive partner.
So if it’s not for smut readers to get hot and bothered, if it’s not for feminists to critically analyze, if it’s not gonna have a self-help spin, what the hell is it for other than to be a lazy cash grab?
Who should read this:
People into sexual psychology but you’re gonna have to do all the analyzing yourself
Do I want to reread this:
No
Similar books:
* Fetish by Anonymous-collection of sexy short stories
* Laid and Confused by Maria Yagoda-sex self help book that reads more like a memoir
* Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again by Katherine Angel-examination of consent culture
* Butts: A Backstory by Heather Radke-nonfiction about the history of the sexualization of butts
* Wordslut by Amanda Montell-examination of language and misogyny
* Best Women’s Erotica Volume 8 by Rachel Krammer Bussel-collection of sexy short stories
November 13, 2024
I can’t resist the lure of a buzzy book, so when I saw how much press this one was getting, I felt like I had to read it. Unfortunately, I was left disappointed.
This book is a collection of sexual fantasies submitted by women from around the world. The thing about reading other people’s fantasies is that it’s honestly pretty boring. It feels like when someone tells you about the dream they had last night, just with a lot more genitalia.
The high points were definitely the submissions that reflected on why they have these fantasies or how they feel about them. It was so interesting to see the perspectives of, for instance, queer people living in homophobic countries or disabled people who feel infantilized in their daily lives. But there was little reflection or analysis built into the book as a whole, aside from chapter introductions where the editor spends as much time talking about her acting roles as she does about the possible psychology behind different kinds of fantasies.
I think this book is ultimately more important as a cultural artifact or feminist statement than it is as actual reading material. I can see how it was probably very empowering for the writers who wrote for it, but overall, I think this project serves them more than its readers.
This book is a collection of sexual fantasies submitted by women from around the world. The thing about reading other people’s fantasies is that it’s honestly pretty boring. It feels like when someone tells you about the dream they had last night, just with a lot more genitalia.
The high points were definitely the submissions that reflected on why they have these fantasies or how they feel about them. It was so interesting to see the perspectives of, for instance, queer people living in homophobic countries or disabled people who feel infantilized in their daily lives. But there was little reflection or analysis built into the book as a whole, aside from chapter introductions where the editor spends as much time talking about her acting roles as she does about the possible psychology behind different kinds of fantasies.
I think this book is ultimately more important as a cultural artifact or feminist statement than it is as actual reading material. I can see how it was probably very empowering for the writers who wrote for it, but overall, I think this project serves them more than its readers.
July 18, 2024
A beautiful and powerful collection of fantasies submitted anonymously to and curated by Gillian Anderson, who introduces each section. Reading this was first and foremost incredibly validating. I love the power of women's imaginations. One of the sections made me very sad - so many women's ultimate fantasy is just to feel safe and loved, desired and respected *at the same time*.
I really hope Gillian narrates the audiobook.
I really hope Gillian narrates the audiobook.
February 12, 2025
As mentioned in my first status update about this book, I sometimes want to get out of my comfort zone, even when reading. I hate the colour pink and most of its variations so that was challenge #1. *lol* Challenge #2 was the content. Not because I'm a prude but because I didn't really see why I would or should WANT (see what I did there ;P) to read other women's sexual fantasies. What was it like? Well, a bit underwhelming and overrated, if you ask me.
First of all, part of me being underwhelmed / this book feeling overratedto me stems from the fact that when the book was advertised, they specifically mentioned a therapist/psychologist having been involved in the project. Hence, I assumed there would be some form of context / commentary given. This was not so. Maybe this is a good thing regardingbeing non-judgmental. Though therapy is never judgmental to begin with so ... ? Anyway, just reading sexual fantasy after sexual fantasy just did nothing for me.If I want that, I can turn to smut. And I should hope that a book with this one’s kind of PR campaign had not been published for shockvalue! Like I’ll say soon, I had cause to raise an eyebrow a few times, but overall, it left me pretty cold.
Sadly, there were some problematic statements. For example: "To feel the pleasure that men feel when they have sex with a woman" is one desire mentioned and I couldn't help but wonder if the person just wants to know if it is the same / what is different (which would be regular curiosity) or if she actually believes that men feel "more" (which is bullshit).
And no, women are neither the only ones with unfulfilled wishes and dreams nor the only ones who can and do feel ashamed (body issues, shyness etc). On the contrary: it is widely known how much girls/women talk amongst their peers, contrary to most men, who rarely open up about deeper issues. So why this book was marketed as essential and necessary so women can simply share and be heard, I really don’t know. In a way, this therefore even perpetuates a dangerous stereotype.
Moreover, I do not agree with Gillian Anderson about how important E.L. James's books are because those did and do more harm than good by misrepresenting BDSM (something I had confirmed by people ascribing to thatlife style or whatever you want to call itand HATING the books). Nor do I really understand all these fantasies (being milked like a cow?!). However, I acknowledge that they exist and not just today. Personally, I don't care one way or another. There are some where I raised an eyebrow but if it doesn't negatively influence the lives of others (rape fantasies made real or voyeuristic activities that intrude on others' privacy for example), I really don't care. It's private. Thoughts (and therefore fantasies) are free.
Luckily, I have no problem talking about sex. That is not what I meant above when I said sexual fantasies are private. I don't feel shame. Whether that has to do with what my fantasies are or not, no idea.I do think thatmy desires / sexual fantasies arenot someone else's business unless I want to share, but I equally think that just because I am willing to or want to share them does in no way mean others are obliged to listen.Not to mention that I’m not narcissistic or arrogant enough to believe that my fantasies are anything special and something the world HAS to know about. *lol* Now,it IS importantto note that this attitude does NOT come from mehaving lived a carefree life with no exposure to strict rules or asshole men (and women) etc.Rather, I eventually broke out of the supposed confines and were just ... me.*shrugs*
Is a book like this really necessary? Are women, even in Western countries, still / again so repressed by "the patriarchy" that their desires don't matter while all male desires are being / have to be fulfilled? Looking about, I have my doubts. Sure, there are women who don't dare live freely (or as freely as men) but that is often not due to the society they live in but "only" their family/marriage or misperceptions. Something they can change. No, that would not be easy, but if it's as important as this book suggests, then surely it would be worth the struggle? Of course, there are fantasies that are absolutely problematic, no matter how open and understanding your partner is. However, that has nothing to do with oppression (at least in the case of the fantasies I'm referring to).
In summary: why this should make you feel empowered, of all things, I simply don’t understand. But hey: whatever floats your boat, right?
First of all, part of me being underwhelmed / this book feeling overratedto me stems from the fact that when the book was advertised, they specifically mentioned a therapist/psychologist having been involved in the project. Hence, I assumed there would be some form of context / commentary given. This was not so. Maybe this is a good thing regardingbeing non-judgmental. Though therapy is never judgmental to begin with so ... ? Anyway, just reading sexual fantasy after sexual fantasy just did nothing for me.If I want that, I can turn to smut. And I should hope that a book with this one’s kind of PR campaign had not been published for shockvalue! Like I’ll say soon, I had cause to raise an eyebrow a few times, but overall, it left me pretty cold.
Sadly, there were some problematic statements. For example: "To feel the pleasure that men feel when they have sex with a woman" is one desire mentioned and I couldn't help but wonder if the person just wants to know if it is the same / what is different (which would be regular curiosity) or if she actually believes that men feel "more" (which is bullshit).
And no, women are neither the only ones with unfulfilled wishes and dreams nor the only ones who can and do feel ashamed (body issues, shyness etc). On the contrary: it is widely known how much girls/women talk amongst their peers, contrary to most men, who rarely open up about deeper issues. So why this book was marketed as essential and necessary so women can simply share and be heard, I really don’t know. In a way, this therefore even perpetuates a dangerous stereotype.
Moreover, I do not agree with Gillian Anderson about how important E.L. James's books are because those did and do more harm than good by misrepresenting BDSM (something I had confirmed by people ascribing to thatlife style or whatever you want to call itand HATING the books). Nor do I really understand all these fantasies (being milked like a cow?!). However, I acknowledge that they exist and not just today. Personally, I don't care one way or another. There are some where I raised an eyebrow but if it doesn't negatively influence the lives of others (rape fantasies made real or voyeuristic activities that intrude on others' privacy for example), I really don't care. It's private. Thoughts (and therefore fantasies) are free.
Luckily, I have no problem talking about sex. That is not what I meant above when I said sexual fantasies are private. I don't feel shame. Whether that has to do with what my fantasies are or not, no idea.I do think thatmy desires / sexual fantasies arenot someone else's business unless I want to share, but I equally think that just because I am willing to or want to share them does in no way mean others are obliged to listen.Not to mention that I’m not narcissistic or arrogant enough to believe that my fantasies are anything special and something the world HAS to know about. *lol* Now,it IS importantto note that this attitude does NOT come from mehaving lived a carefree life with no exposure to strict rules or asshole men (and women) etc.Rather, I eventually broke out of the supposed confines and were just ... me.*shrugs*
Is a book like this really necessary? Are women, even in Western countries, still / again so repressed by "the patriarchy" that their desires don't matter while all male desires are being / have to be fulfilled? Looking about, I have my doubts. Sure, there are women who don't dare live freely (or as freely as men) but that is often not due to the society they live in but "only" their family/marriage or misperceptions. Something they can change. No, that would not be easy, but if it's as important as this book suggests, then surely it would be worth the struggle? Of course, there are fantasies that are absolutely problematic, no matter how open and understanding your partner is. However, that has nothing to do with oppression (at least in the case of the fantasies I'm referring to).
In summary: why this should make you feel empowered, of all things, I simply don’t understand. But hey: whatever floats your boat, right?
September 21, 2024
sex with Bigfoot kinda crazy and now I kinda want to forget how to read words
conflicted on what I feel about this book.
We do need a book like this so us women can share our humanity to the world because we are seen as less than human but when is it too revealing?
the page about a woman wanting to get oral sex from every type of animal she can think of (her favourite being a deer) is just disgusting and that's a fantasy that should be in her therapists notepad and not in this book. Yes it's a fantasy from a woman so it qualifies to be in this book but why add it?
most fantasies in this book were understandable, people like what they like. Woman love sex as much as men. We also think about it a lot.
This did feel like a book for women though. I didn't want this book to be written towards men to prove how sexual women can be and that we are as complex as them, books that try to hard to prove a point come out terrible. This book felt like just women sitting in a room full of women and feeling safe.
Not to be annoying but this book made me think about what if the roles were reversed.. (yes I'm playing devils advocate here) if men compiled emails and put them in a book... would it be released? would it cause outrage? If men openly talked about their animalistic fantasies in a book like women did in this book.. what would the outcome be?
Men do openly talk to other men about their fantasies, locker room talk or whatever and they are proud that women know that they do but men do not like women talking about sex (not all obviously) so this book is good for us women but is it also a conversation opener about what men are no longer allowed to do? I just can't see a book where men talk about how they want to dominate women without the public rioting and accusing the men of being psychos.
conflicted on what I feel about this book.
We do need a book like this so us women can share our humanity to the world because we are seen as less than human but when is it too revealing?
the page about a woman wanting to get oral sex from every type of animal she can think of (her favourite being a deer) is just disgusting and that's a fantasy that should be in her therapists notepad and not in this book. Yes it's a fantasy from a woman so it qualifies to be in this book but why add it?
most fantasies in this book were understandable, people like what they like. Woman love sex as much as men. We also think about it a lot.
This did feel like a book for women though. I didn't want this book to be written towards men to prove how sexual women can be and that we are as complex as them, books that try to hard to prove a point come out terrible. This book felt like just women sitting in a room full of women and feeling safe.
Not to be annoying but this book made me think about what if the roles were reversed.. (yes I'm playing devils advocate here) if men compiled emails and put them in a book... would it be released? would it cause outrage? If men openly talked about their animalistic fantasies in a book like women did in this book.. what would the outcome be?
Men do openly talk to other men about their fantasies, locker room talk or whatever and they are proud that women know that they do but men do not like women talking about sex (not all obviously) so this book is good for us women but is it also a conversation opener about what men are no longer allowed to do? I just can't see a book where men talk about how they want to dominate women without the public rioting and accusing the men of being psychos.
October 1, 2024
DNF’d at about 50% through.
It’s not that I didn’t enjoy this book, I really did at the start. It felt like having a gossip with your friends on subjects that people never really talk about openly. There was also stories of women and non-binary people just wanting to be loved and appreciated which I feel like all of us can relate to.
However, about halfway through it just started to become very repetitive and felt like all of the “shock factor� content is all lumped together, which honestly was quite uncomfortable to read at times (appreciate that is the point of the book but some were very hard to read, especially fantasies involving sexual assault).
It just seemed like overall there was no real point to this book. The clever marketing tactic of “empowering� women clearly worked, but that really isn’t how the book came across to me personally while reading.
I love a good spicy read so was really looking forward to this, but it just fell a little flat for me.
It’s not that I didn’t enjoy this book, I really did at the start. It felt like having a gossip with your friends on subjects that people never really talk about openly. There was also stories of women and non-binary people just wanting to be loved and appreciated which I feel like all of us can relate to.
However, about halfway through it just started to become very repetitive and felt like all of the “shock factor� content is all lumped together, which honestly was quite uncomfortable to read at times (appreciate that is the point of the book but some were very hard to read, especially fantasies involving sexual assault).
It just seemed like overall there was no real point to this book. The clever marketing tactic of “empowering� women clearly worked, but that really isn’t how the book came across to me personally while reading.
I love a good spicy read so was really looking forward to this, but it just fell a little flat for me.
November 22, 2024
absolutely insane book for me to listen to while on public transportation
September 6, 2024
Three stars because the general public are SHIT writers.
BUT
This is an anthology of shameless femininity. Gillian Anderson lets women be messy, needy and wanting in this unprecedented moralisation of desire.
Honest, healing, hot, relieving, hot.
BUT
This is an anthology of shameless femininity. Gillian Anderson lets women be messy, needy and wanting in this unprecedented moralisation of desire.
Honest, healing, hot, relieving, hot.
November 10, 2024
Following her portrayal of sex therapist Jean Milburn in Sex Education, Gillian Anderson has embraced the role of a sort of sexual agony aunt with wide open arms, and this book—an intended sequel to Nancy Friday’s highly controversial My Secret Garden, published in 1973—is the result her asking her (female and non-binary) fans to send in their innermost sexual fantasies and desires. Of some 1800 submissions, 174 letters made the final cut, and Gillian’s own is hidden somewhere in one of the thirteen themed chapters. The writers� sexual and gender identities as well as the length of the letters is as varied as the fantasies they explore.
I liked the idea of being a fly on the wall in these authentic, unfiltered fantasies� but it turns out that your ordinary Jane mostly can’t write for shit. If this is the (edited) wheat, I really hope that Rosemary Davidson, who sorted through the chaff according to the acknowledgements, was very well-compensated for her time. Quality of the writing aside, I can’t deny that there were a few relatable essays that got me feeling frisky, but a lot of these were plain bizarre in a concerning way� for the first time, I found myself kink-shaming strangers, and I’m not even talking about the lady who’d like to be fucked by Bigfoot.
I haven’t read Nancy Friday’s book, but from what little I know about it, I’m sure that Want is much tamer, and hasn’t broken any new ground—if anything, we have regressed. Why take on a project like this while openly admitting that you excluded any submissions that might be considered to be triggering to some readers, while also recognizing that you are not actually in any way qualified to speak on any of it? As for the letters that made the cut, in theory, anonymity allows for the freedom of being honest and vulnerable without the fear of judgement, yet a lot of these submissions included an admission of shame and guilt, or defensive justifications—it’s like the fantasies came up against the writers� own moral/feminist sensibilities.
Even still, the essays that reflected on where these fantasies stem from, and how having them makes the writers feel, were the better parts of the collection. I wish Gillian’s chapter introductions, in which she shared her own thoughts and musings, had been afterwords instead, and that they had included more science-based analysis rather than her plugging her TV shows. At the same time, I’m not sure that grouping the letters by theme was the best choice, because they tended to get monotonous and repetitive; clearly, there’s a limit to the different ways in which self-described lesbians can put the desire to have a man ejaculate inside them into words.
Many of the submissions also just made me sad—there were some that so desperately yearned for affection, connection, and trust, rather than anything sexual, and the fact that so many women are in relationships where they don’t experience that was kind of heart-breaking. Overall, the whole collection was less smutty fantasies, and more women using such fantasies to escape the reality of their unfulfilled relationships, as well as virgins who’ve either read too much fan-fiction or watched too much bad porn, and have a really skewed expectation of what sexual intimacy is. I believe that putting these thoughts, desires, and fantasies down to paper must’ve felt freeing and maybe even empowering, especially to those in more repressed parts of the world, but that’s as far as this project’s impact goes; Want definitely served the people who submitted letters a lot more than the people who end up reading it.
I liked the idea of being a fly on the wall in these authentic, unfiltered fantasies� but it turns out that your ordinary Jane mostly can’t write for shit. If this is the (edited) wheat, I really hope that Rosemary Davidson, who sorted through the chaff according to the acknowledgements, was very well-compensated for her time. Quality of the writing aside, I can’t deny that there were a few relatable essays that got me feeling frisky, but a lot of these were plain bizarre in a concerning way� for the first time, I found myself kink-shaming strangers, and I’m not even talking about the lady who’d like to be fucked by Bigfoot.
I haven’t read Nancy Friday’s book, but from what little I know about it, I’m sure that Want is much tamer, and hasn’t broken any new ground—if anything, we have regressed. Why take on a project like this while openly admitting that you excluded any submissions that might be considered to be triggering to some readers, while also recognizing that you are not actually in any way qualified to speak on any of it? As for the letters that made the cut, in theory, anonymity allows for the freedom of being honest and vulnerable without the fear of judgement, yet a lot of these submissions included an admission of shame and guilt, or defensive justifications—it’s like the fantasies came up against the writers� own moral/feminist sensibilities.
Even still, the essays that reflected on where these fantasies stem from, and how having them makes the writers feel, were the better parts of the collection. I wish Gillian’s chapter introductions, in which she shared her own thoughts and musings, had been afterwords instead, and that they had included more science-based analysis rather than her plugging her TV shows. At the same time, I’m not sure that grouping the letters by theme was the best choice, because they tended to get monotonous and repetitive; clearly, there’s a limit to the different ways in which self-described lesbians can put the desire to have a man ejaculate inside them into words.
Many of the submissions also just made me sad—there were some that so desperately yearned for affection, connection, and trust, rather than anything sexual, and the fact that so many women are in relationships where they don’t experience that was kind of heart-breaking. Overall, the whole collection was less smutty fantasies, and more women using such fantasies to escape the reality of their unfulfilled relationships, as well as virgins who’ve either read too much fan-fiction or watched too much bad porn, and have a really skewed expectation of what sexual intimacy is. I believe that putting these thoughts, desires, and fantasies down to paper must’ve felt freeing and maybe even empowering, especially to those in more repressed parts of the world, but that’s as far as this project’s impact goes; Want definitely served the people who submitted letters a lot more than the people who end up reading it.
October 31, 2024
I don't often write reviews but my goodness. I put it down after about ten pages and then flicked through the rest. Awful, disappointing and down right depressing. I struggle to believe that so many women's fantasies are just to feel loved. I expected so much more from this but it just fell completely flat. This is not a collection of hot sexual fantasies, it's a collection of how women don't feel fulfilled in their relationship or in bed.
August 30, 2024
Not a book to read in public! I was so exciting for this and did find it really interesting to read, there was definitely some repetition and I think I would have preferred there to be a summary at the end of each chapter to tie things together, rather than an introduction at the beginning. However I really enjoyed this and think the concept is really cool!
October 22, 2024
WANT was definitely something a bit outside of the norm for me. Mainly because I don't tend to read a lot of Well-being titles (which I'm classifying this as because it's a sexuality book). But I'm glad I gave it a shot because I found it very enjoyable and eye-opening.
Told through stories sent in anonymously, WANT was the kind of collection that a lot of people will benefit from reading because of how solitary sex and any sexual-related thoughts can be. I know there are places in the world where sex is still seen as something taboo and not meant to be discussed freely. I liked that this book gave women a chance to voice their sexual thoughts--even if some fell into the odd category.
I know I connected to some of the stories and they left me wide-eyed and seen. Other stories I didn't connect to, but it was still fascinating to see how other peoples' minds worked. To be honest, some stories were so over the top that I couldn't help but laugh a few times. Not to yuck anyone's yum, but some of these essays were...a choice.
That being said, I did appreciate how diverse the essays were and how they were categorized. I was a little wary at first that I would grow tired of the essay after essay approach, but the occasional re-introduction of Anderson in between chapters helped break up the monotony.
I'd recommend this to anyone looking for essay collections of the sexual variety with some great diversity. There were many queer women and it was great getting to hear their voices!
Happy reading!
Told through stories sent in anonymously, WANT was the kind of collection that a lot of people will benefit from reading because of how solitary sex and any sexual-related thoughts can be. I know there are places in the world where sex is still seen as something taboo and not meant to be discussed freely. I liked that this book gave women a chance to voice their sexual thoughts--even if some fell into the odd category.
I know I connected to some of the stories and they left me wide-eyed and seen. Other stories I didn't connect to, but it was still fascinating to see how other peoples' minds worked. To be honest, some stories were so over the top that I couldn't help but laugh a few times. Not to yuck anyone's yum, but some of these essays were...a choice.
That being said, I did appreciate how diverse the essays were and how they were categorized. I was a little wary at first that I would grow tired of the essay after essay approach, but the occasional re-introduction of Anderson in between chapters helped break up the monotony.
I'd recommend this to anyone looking for essay collections of the sexual variety with some great diversity. There were many queer women and it was great getting to hear their voices!
Happy reading!
September 24, 2024
*Thanks Bloomsbury for an ARC!*
This was one of my most anticipated releases of the year and I was SO lucky to get an early copy in my hands. As soon as I opened the package, I couldn’t properly rest until I had devoured this book. And wow what a ride it was. I will say, I think my rating did suffer because of the way I chose to go about it though. This definitely isn’t a book you’re supposed to sit and binge reading the confessions back to back like a novel the way I did. I think it goes down a lot easier if you dip in and out, and have bigger breaks in between to reflect on the confessions. I was too excited and too greedy, and reading such a large volume of chapters in small pockets of time did give it a light repetitive feel.
I don’t know what this says about me, but I also feel like a lot of the book was quite repetitive in the fantasies it included. That’s probably a conversation in and of itself, and is really interesting to ponder, but for me I was expecting a constant barrage of totally crazy, unexpected, jaw dropping moments every page. Of course not literally every page, but a lot of this felt unexpectedly tame and sameish. I was craving something that pushed the boundaries a little more, that felt like it teetered on the edge of outrageous.
A minor complaint as well, but I think the categorisation of things was a little bit odd, and some of them didn’t really seem to fit into the box in which they’d been placed. It was a little haphazard in the organisational sense for me. Writing wise I didn’t really mind because it’s obviously raw submissions from real people, and in that aspect I was more forgiving and quite liked the different tones and styles taken to voice these fantasies.
This concept coupled with some more in depth research on the kink and sexuality being discussed, would’ve made for a more hard hitting and engaging read for me I think. I do like the little introductions Gillian does for each chapter, but they were so short and sweet - I craved more of her voice! I also would have liked some commentary on the chapters afterwards, but I suppose that’s to lean more into you interpreting things as a reader however you wish and not putting words into your mouth. But I’d love more commentary, more science, more research, more psychological and sociological ponderings on some of these because they’re super interesting.
I think this is a bit of a game changer in women’s non fiction, and Gillian Anderson is as iconic as ever for penning it. I think it’s really refreshing (and in typical British fashion, a bit daunting) to have a book detailing such explicit fantasies shamelessly and without judgement. Not really one you can whip out on public transport and I learned from having to have my Kindle font on the smallest size imaginable, but definitely one to sit in bed reading next to your partner to read a few out loud and giggle together. It’s just so fun, and interesting, and I will admit a couple of these made my jaw drop unexpectedly. They’ll live rent free in my mind for a bit longer I think. How creative people can be! Sometimes relatable, and for the most part very bizarre, but you can’t say this book didn’t entertain you.
This was a really captivating read, and I flew through it. Think this is a 3.5 in my mind, but I’m rounding it up to a 4. Would highly recommend if you’re curious!
This was one of my most anticipated releases of the year and I was SO lucky to get an early copy in my hands. As soon as I opened the package, I couldn’t properly rest until I had devoured this book. And wow what a ride it was. I will say, I think my rating did suffer because of the way I chose to go about it though. This definitely isn’t a book you’re supposed to sit and binge reading the confessions back to back like a novel the way I did. I think it goes down a lot easier if you dip in and out, and have bigger breaks in between to reflect on the confessions. I was too excited and too greedy, and reading such a large volume of chapters in small pockets of time did give it a light repetitive feel.
I don’t know what this says about me, but I also feel like a lot of the book was quite repetitive in the fantasies it included. That’s probably a conversation in and of itself, and is really interesting to ponder, but for me I was expecting a constant barrage of totally crazy, unexpected, jaw dropping moments every page. Of course not literally every page, but a lot of this felt unexpectedly tame and sameish. I was craving something that pushed the boundaries a little more, that felt like it teetered on the edge of outrageous.
A minor complaint as well, but I think the categorisation of things was a little bit odd, and some of them didn’t really seem to fit into the box in which they’d been placed. It was a little haphazard in the organisational sense for me. Writing wise I didn’t really mind because it’s obviously raw submissions from real people, and in that aspect I was more forgiving and quite liked the different tones and styles taken to voice these fantasies.
This concept coupled with some more in depth research on the kink and sexuality being discussed, would’ve made for a more hard hitting and engaging read for me I think. I do like the little introductions Gillian does for each chapter, but they were so short and sweet - I craved more of her voice! I also would have liked some commentary on the chapters afterwards, but I suppose that’s to lean more into you interpreting things as a reader however you wish and not putting words into your mouth. But I’d love more commentary, more science, more research, more psychological and sociological ponderings on some of these because they’re super interesting.
I think this is a bit of a game changer in women’s non fiction, and Gillian Anderson is as iconic as ever for penning it. I think it’s really refreshing (and in typical British fashion, a bit daunting) to have a book detailing such explicit fantasies shamelessly and without judgement. Not really one you can whip out on public transport and I learned from having to have my Kindle font on the smallest size imaginable, but definitely one to sit in bed reading next to your partner to read a few out loud and giggle together. It’s just so fun, and interesting, and I will admit a couple of these made my jaw drop unexpectedly. They’ll live rent free in my mind for a bit longer I think. How creative people can be! Sometimes relatable, and for the most part very bizarre, but you can’t say this book didn’t entertain you.
This was a really captivating read, and I flew through it. Think this is a 3.5 in my mind, but I’m rounding it up to a 4. Would highly recommend if you’re curious!
January 5, 2025
2.5 ⭐️ (Rounded up for ŷ)
Welp, maybe I’m broken but I found the content rather boring. Gillian’s great and I love the concept of this collection but it was a snooze fest. I’m sure many will find Want empowering, liberating, and titillating which makes me happy for them. Yay for destigmatizing sexual proclivities and fantasies!
Welp, maybe I’m broken but I found the content rather boring. Gillian’s great and I love the concept of this collection but it was a snooze fest. I’m sure many will find Want empowering, liberating, and titillating which makes me happy for them. Yay for destigmatizing sexual proclivities and fantasies!
January 7, 2025
3.5
I thought this was great! Was it great enough to warrant more than 3.5 stars? No, I don’t think so. Let me explain why.
This is a collection of women’s sexual fantasies, sent anonymously by women from all over the world to an email inbox created specifically for this project. Apparently, over 800,000 responses were received, ranging from the softest, most vanilla daydreams to the kinkiest, most out-there fantasies imaginable.
Gillian Anderson curated these submissions and loosely organised them into thematic “categories.� Each section is introduced with a short commentary from Gillian herself, which I thought was a fantastic addition to the book—it added a sense of intimacy and reflection.
However, since there’s no narrative and most of the fantasies are quite brief, the book started to feel repetitive after a while. And to be fair, that might be on me—maybe this is a book best consumed in short bursts rather than all in one go. Unfortunately, that repetitiveness was a major reason my rating didn’t go higher.
At the end of each fantasy, the anonymous writers were also asked to answer a few questions, such as their religion, sexuality, income, and so on. For one, some sexualities were consistently grouped together, specifically bisexual and pansexual. Why not separate them? In my opinion, those are two completely distinct identities, and lumping them together felt a bit like bi erasure to me. Plus, I didn’t understand the point of asking the women to provide their incomes. Sure, the writers could leave this blank if they didn’t want to disclose this into, but I couldn’t see any logical connection between their financial status and the types of fantasies they submitted. It seemed irrelevant and unnecessary, in my opinion. Oh well.
That said, reading this felt oddly liberating. It was inspiring to think about these women sitting down, writing their deepest fantasies, and sending them out into the world—something that would have been unthinkable just a few decades ago.
Though, beware: You. Will. Get. Horny. 😭
I thought this was great! Was it great enough to warrant more than 3.5 stars? No, I don’t think so. Let me explain why.
This is a collection of women’s sexual fantasies, sent anonymously by women from all over the world to an email inbox created specifically for this project. Apparently, over 800,000 responses were received, ranging from the softest, most vanilla daydreams to the kinkiest, most out-there fantasies imaginable.
Gillian Anderson curated these submissions and loosely organised them into thematic “categories.� Each section is introduced with a short commentary from Gillian herself, which I thought was a fantastic addition to the book—it added a sense of intimacy and reflection.
However, since there’s no narrative and most of the fantasies are quite brief, the book started to feel repetitive after a while. And to be fair, that might be on me—maybe this is a book best consumed in short bursts rather than all in one go. Unfortunately, that repetitiveness was a major reason my rating didn’t go higher.
At the end of each fantasy, the anonymous writers were also asked to answer a few questions, such as their religion, sexuality, income, and so on. For one, some sexualities were consistently grouped together, specifically bisexual and pansexual. Why not separate them? In my opinion, those are two completely distinct identities, and lumping them together felt a bit like bi erasure to me. Plus, I didn’t understand the point of asking the women to provide their incomes. Sure, the writers could leave this blank if they didn’t want to disclose this into, but I couldn’t see any logical connection between their financial status and the types of fantasies they submitted. It seemed irrelevant and unnecessary, in my opinion. Oh well.
That said, reading this felt oddly liberating. It was inspiring to think about these women sitting down, writing their deepest fantasies, and sending them out into the world—something that would have been unthinkable just a few decades ago.
Though, beware: You. Will. Get. Horny. 😭
April 8, 2025
Quite interesting and timely. As a woman myself, I do have a few sexual fantasies and desires that I don’t think I’d ever share with anyone—even with my partner. Some things are just better left unsaid and buried in the deepest parts of my secret ocean. Haha.
The letters piqued my curiosity about sexual orientation, personal preferences, and gender. While I didn’t find it particularly empowering or emancipating, I did laugh at a few letters and nodded along to some stories that hit close to home.
Not bad. Not something I’d go on and on about, but I appreciated the message it was trying to convey. Also, I love Gillian.
The letters piqued my curiosity about sexual orientation, personal preferences, and gender. While I didn’t find it particularly empowering or emancipating, I did laugh at a few letters and nodded along to some stories that hit close to home.
Not bad. Not something I’d go on and on about, but I appreciated the message it was trying to convey. Also, I love Gillian.
October 4, 2024
The experienced-pervert's review: This book did nothing for me. It showed me nothing new, discussed nothing I had no awareness of already.
.
(-) I feel cheated in this book for 2 reasons.
1, it's debatably not a book. It's a collection of 0.5-2 page fantasties, which has a much more "notebook rushed around in class" vibe. Gillian Anderson didn't write the "book." I'm shocked how much she wrote, but a lot of it is cyclical, a lot of it is plugging her shows. 🙄 We know your shows, dude.
.
(-) 2: She played the diversity so heavy, that too many of these stories are from men. Feminism has become the vehicle of trans men, and this collection is probably 1/3 men, with c---s. False feminism. Some stories are from people choosing to be in unhappy asexual relationships. Asexual relationships being a paradox. About 60% of total stories come from people who are pansexual and don't want someone to fulfill them, and like "well, that's why you're lonely and unfulfilled, fixable if you tighten your scope."
.
For those unexperienced in this genre: this is probably new and interesting. For the rest of us sexperts, it's trite and conformist. Main lessons being: everyone wants something different, and everrrrryyyybody wants a mix of mental connection and physical intensity (whether that is intensity to fragile or rough detail).
.
Gillian's 2-page inclusion is on page 280. It's the only one without nationality and income, and it includes mentions of the members of her family.
Her fantasy is what my wife & I have: connection and communication. Attention and investment. That's really sad for someone with a partner and who played Scully, so there's probably 50 million men and 50 million, globally, that could give that her. Yuck. :/
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1 Star: for a pink book with a clit on the cover, that is about the voices of dudes with c---s. Ruined it with over-diversity before she even started it.
.
(-) I feel cheated in this book for 2 reasons.
1, it's debatably not a book. It's a collection of 0.5-2 page fantasties, which has a much more "notebook rushed around in class" vibe. Gillian Anderson didn't write the "book." I'm shocked how much she wrote, but a lot of it is cyclical, a lot of it is plugging her shows. 🙄 We know your shows, dude.
.
(-) 2: She played the diversity so heavy, that too many of these stories are from men. Feminism has become the vehicle of trans men, and this collection is probably 1/3 men, with c---s. False feminism. Some stories are from people choosing to be in unhappy asexual relationships. Asexual relationships being a paradox. About 60% of total stories come from people who are pansexual and don't want someone to fulfill them, and like "well, that's why you're lonely and unfulfilled, fixable if you tighten your scope."
.
For those unexperienced in this genre: this is probably new and interesting. For the rest of us sexperts, it's trite and conformist. Main lessons being: everyone wants something different, and everrrrryyyybody wants a mix of mental connection and physical intensity (whether that is intensity to fragile or rough detail).
.
Gillian's 2-page inclusion is on page 280. It's the only one without nationality and income, and it includes mentions of the members of her family.
Her fantasy is what my wife & I have: connection and communication. Attention and investment. That's really sad for someone with a partner and who played Scully, so there's probably 50 million men and 50 million, globally, that could give that her. Yuck. :/
.
1 Star: for a pink book with a clit on the cover, that is about the voices of dudes with c---s. Ruined it with over-diversity before she even started it.
January 5, 2025
What an electrifying and intimate way to normalize desire! First and foremost, I adore Gillian Anderson—her roles have always been sexually proud and formidable, so it’s no surprise she’s the mind behind this vulnerable and bold collection. Hearing her voice narrate the audiobook, especially after her brilliant role as a sex therapist in Sex Education, added an extra layer of connection to the material.
This book feels inclusive and expansive, offering a space for desires we might not always feel comfortable sharing, yet deeply wish to explore. Anderson’s curation of these anonymous confessions is thoughtful and intentional, consistently providing content warnings and creating an environment of safety and trust for readers.
What struck me most about Want was how liberating and refreshing it felt. Desires and fantasies often carry a heavy weight of shame, and this collection works to dismantle that, reminding readers they are not alone. The stories show that our desires, no matter how taboo or unconventional, are part of a shared human experience.
More than anything, this book challenges and broadens the perception of what desire can look like. It’s a celebration of vulnerability and an invitation to lean into the complexities of our wants without judgment. I believe anyone who reads this will feel seen in some way.
I wholeheartedly recommend Want—whether for the candid exploration of desire or the freeing feeling of discovering that your secret longings are not as solitary as they might seem.
This book feels inclusive and expansive, offering a space for desires we might not always feel comfortable sharing, yet deeply wish to explore. Anderson’s curation of these anonymous confessions is thoughtful and intentional, consistently providing content warnings and creating an environment of safety and trust for readers.
What struck me most about Want was how liberating and refreshing it felt. Desires and fantasies often carry a heavy weight of shame, and this collection works to dismantle that, reminding readers they are not alone. The stories show that our desires, no matter how taboo or unconventional, are part of a shared human experience.
More than anything, this book challenges and broadens the perception of what desire can look like. It’s a celebration of vulnerability and an invitation to lean into the complexities of our wants without judgment. I believe anyone who reads this will feel seen in some way.
I wholeheartedly recommend Want—whether for the candid exploration of desire or the freeing feeling of discovering that your secret longings are not as solitary as they might seem.
October 10, 2024
DNF - purely due to the fact there is only so many fantasies one person can read. Got a little bored
Read
January 8, 2025dnf it gave me � nothing. sad because i love GA
March 27, 2025
Skoro jsem knížku nedočetla. Pořádně jsem nepochopila smysl knížky. Jediný smysl, který tam vnímám, je, aby se ženy (případně lidé obecně) nestyděly za své sexuální touhy. Ale jelikož je to celé jen sbírka tužeb žen z celého světa, s ne moc záživnou předmluvou od herečky, musím hodnotit nízko.
Chyběl mi tam pohled nějakého odborníka, sexuologa nebo nějakého terapeuta, který by se ujal psaní předmluv nebo aspoň napsal nějakou úvodní kapitolu s obecným shrnutím na celé téma, nebo nějaký komentář. To mi tam chybělo opravdu moc.
Chyběl mi tam pohled nějakého odborníka, sexuologa nebo nějakého terapeuta, který by se ujal psaní předmluv nebo aspoň napsal nějakou úvodní kapitolu s obecným shrnutím na celé téma, nebo nějaký komentář. To mi tam chybělo opravdu moc.
February 3, 2025
I absolutely loved this collection - it shows us how different everyone is. Every woman is different and special, even if I sometimes think we are all the same. We are not; what we dream about and what we fantasise about makes us special and individual.
Thank you, Gillian, for collecting these letters.
And thank you for writing and dreaming.
Thank you, Gillian, for collecting these letters.
And thank you for writing and dreaming.
January 17, 2025
Talk about empowerment through their sexuality and fantasies! Amazing true narrations from people and what occurs in their head when it comes to relationships, sex, love, loss, etc.
February 3, 2025
Sexy and intriguing!! So fun to see all the different ways women think about sex and their own pleasure. Exploring everything from the wildest fantasy you can fathom to the simplicity of just being cared for and desired.
Loved every page. !! .. plenty of eyebrow raising, chuckling , blushing.. but also deeper understanding, empathy, compassion ..
AND MOST IMPORTANT: “GIRL� POWER AND AUTONOMY AND FREEDOM AND SEXUAL IDENTITY AND FEELING BEAUTIFUL AND BEING IN TUNE WITH OURSELVES AND OUR BODIES AND EMOTIONS / NEEDS/ WANTS!
Spicy and empowering � Loved it !
Loved every page. !! .. plenty of eyebrow raising, chuckling , blushing.. but also deeper understanding, empathy, compassion ..
AND MOST IMPORTANT: “GIRL� POWER AND AUTONOMY AND FREEDOM AND SEXUAL IDENTITY AND FEELING BEAUTIFUL AND BEING IN TUNE WITH OURSELVES AND OUR BODIES AND EMOTIONS / NEEDS/ WANTS!
Spicy and empowering � Loved it !
September 8, 2024
I enjoyed this!
Such an interesting insight into the psyche of women, society and everything in between.
A lil repetitive at times but summarised and organised thoughtfully and with understanding.
Gonna be honest I did only get this as it’s collected by Gillian Anderson, but a great read nonetheless.
Women are amazing.
Such an interesting insight into the psyche of women, society and everything in between.
A lil repetitive at times but summarised and organised thoughtfully and with understanding.
Gonna be honest I did only get this as it’s collected by Gillian Anderson, but a great read nonetheless.
Women are amazing.
February 28, 2025
Did I listen to this during my 9-5 office days in finance? Yes. Did it make my days slightly more interesting? Yes. Did I hope to god my AirPods didn’t disconnect and my manager could hear? YES.
The only word I can use to describe it is rogue. I have very mixed feelings, I don’t know where to begin😂 firstly, I get the point of it - it’s a sequel to ‘my secret garden� a book which compiled anonymous letters about women’s sexual fantasises, I can appreciate this has given space for women all over the world to submit these desires and be totally honest and vulnerable. my personal belief is that if you are typically closed minded and are reading this because you think it highlights women empowerment, it’s likely you’ll not like this book, however if you can remind yourself that these submissions are fantasy, thus not reality you might like it. The first half of the book I enjoyed, but after that it just got a bit repetitive and the shock factor which was very much apparent early on quickly faded. At times I thought I was just going to leave the rest unread but I powered through as I guess in a way it’s interesting to read how others think even if it’s in this often considered taboo topic!
The last thing I would say is a lot of the submissions I heard just made me feel a bit sad, it came across to me like a lot of these women just want to feel loved and respected as if that should be a desire and not the bare minimum in their current relationship 😕
Definitely a book that could and has sparked some great conversations with my friends!
The only word I can use to describe it is rogue. I have very mixed feelings, I don’t know where to begin😂 firstly, I get the point of it - it’s a sequel to ‘my secret garden� a book which compiled anonymous letters about women’s sexual fantasises, I can appreciate this has given space for women all over the world to submit these desires and be totally honest and vulnerable. my personal belief is that if you are typically closed minded and are reading this because you think it highlights women empowerment, it’s likely you’ll not like this book, however if you can remind yourself that these submissions are fantasy, thus not reality you might like it. The first half of the book I enjoyed, but after that it just got a bit repetitive and the shock factor which was very much apparent early on quickly faded. At times I thought I was just going to leave the rest unread but I powered through as I guess in a way it’s interesting to read how others think even if it’s in this often considered taboo topic!
The last thing I would say is a lot of the submissions I heard just made me feel a bit sad, it came across to me like a lot of these women just want to feel loved and respected as if that should be a desire and not the bare minimum in their current relationship 😕
Definitely a book that could and has sparked some great conversations with my friends!
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