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608 pages, Hardcover
First published June 14, 2021
New Achievement! Smushed for Daddy.
You have been stepped upon by a deity. You have survived the encounter. And while this wasn’t the pink-fleshed suppleness of a human-shaped foot that crushed your fragile, wet body, it’s nice sometimes to switch things around. You know, just to test the boundaries of your own limits. When one experiments, oftentimes one finds new and exciting ways to get that rush.
While fun, it wasn’t quite the same. You probably don’t realize how lucky that is for you.
Reward: You have received a Platinum Spicy Box.
“I had multiple, passive, low-tier stealth movement abilities that never worked for shit because I traveled with a dinosaur and a talking cat, but I hoped it would help cover my passage now.�
“We have to kill these things anyway, so if the AI wants you to kill in a certain way, I don’t see why it matters. This is just like one of those agility courses that Miss Beatrice used to insist I complete at all the regional cat shows. I did not like doing it, and I never ribboned of course, but I knew if I did well, I would get an extra brushing that evening. We are all prostitutes in one way or another, I suppose.�
“Orthrus. The most loveable hell-hound on this side of Alpha Centauri. The left side is for sniffin� and the right side is for lickin� and that pink belly of his? It’s for kissin�.�
“Target any healers within range� or “Target anyone who thinks it’s okay to put mayonnaise on hotdogs.�
“New Achievement! You’re the reason why daddy drinks! You have, for an unspecified reason, raised the ire of the System AI. You have corrected the issue, and everything is back to normal. The acceleration action has been suspended. This time. Good boy. Reward: You’ve received a Gold Makeup Sex is the Best Sex box.�
“Puppies shouldn’t ever share a world with pain. Yet here we are. Thanks, earth culture.�
“Spoiler alert. Nobody is going to read your autobiography disguised as a space vampire and minotaur romance. You and every other half-wit out there with a nearby Starbucks and a laptop is writing the same bile. What you’re really doing is inadvertently live-blogging the story of human mediocrity,�
New floor - New challenges - Same Carl and Donut.The fifth floor has split the crawlers into different quadrants and bubbles so they can't all team up like they did on the fourth floor. Every quadrant in a particular bubble must be cleared before anyone can take the stairs down to the next floor. The Compensated Anarchist Carl has his cookbook and is ready to wreak havoc on the Dungeon and those behind it. He's ready for anarchy.