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Girl in a Band
In Girl in a Band, Kim Gordon, founding member of Sonic Youth and role model for a generation of women, tells her story. She writes frankly about her route from girl to woman and pioneering icon within the music and art scenes in New York City in the eighties and nineties, as well as marriage, motherhood and independence. Filled with the sights and sounds of a changing world and a remarkable life, Girl in a Band is a moving, evocative chronicle of an extraordinary artist.
273 pages, Hardcover
First published February 1, 2015
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About the author
Kim Gordon
22books411followersKim Althea Gordon is an American musician, vocalist, and artist. She sings, plays bass and guitar in the alternative rock band Sonic Youth. She also plays in the band Free Kitten with Julie Cafritz (of Pussy Galore), and she has collaborated with musicians such as Ikue Mori, Kurt Cobain, DJ Olive, William Winant, Lydia Lunch, Alan Licht, and Chris Corsano.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,391 reviews
February 27, 2015
I finally understand why they say you should never meet your heroes.
I thought (just like you) that Kim was the coolest ever in the hippest band ever. If you want to keep thinking that, don't ever read this book. . If you're already set on reading it anyway or got it as a gift or pre-ordered it just like me, at least let me help you a bit.
Out of the 288 pages in this book, around 150 are about how growing up was for her, how her brother emotionally abused and traumatised her, who she was dating at the moment and lots and lots of name dropping. Her musings on music and art are nice, I enjoyed them, wish there had been more of those, chapter 51 was great. Then you get just a little bit of what was going on with Sonic Youth at the moment (about 60 pages). If you already have the book, these are the chapters with names of their records or songs, those are cool, read those. Then stop.
If anything, I think at least she's being honest. That makes me feel sorry for her. That's why I just didn't drop this book, some of her integrity does come through in what she's writing.
Kim:
So Thurston cheated on you with Eva Prinz. That sucks. Writing a book just for the sake of calling him a coward publicly sucks too. This could have been a long blog post or an article on a magazine or some such, but it certainly wasn't worth a book. Honestly, we didn't need to know the dirty, painful details. It's not just really really ordinary, it's also embarrassing to read. You could have saved us all the trouble of reading that part by just linking to this . Maybe you wrote this book following your therapist's suggestions, I don't know, maybe you were looking for closure. And yeah, you are a feminist. That's great. Do you need to remind us about it on every. Single. Page?
Lana del Rey should "off herself"? Really? She still hasn't written an entire book on how bitter she is. I hope and trust you will eventually find peace and happiness in the people and things you still have close to you.
A big SY fan.
I thought (just like you) that Kim was the coolest ever in the hippest band ever. If you want to keep thinking that, don't ever read this book. . If you're already set on reading it anyway or got it as a gift or pre-ordered it just like me, at least let me help you a bit.
Out of the 288 pages in this book, around 150 are about how growing up was for her, how her brother emotionally abused and traumatised her, who she was dating at the moment and lots and lots of name dropping. Her musings on music and art are nice, I enjoyed them, wish there had been more of those, chapter 51 was great. Then you get just a little bit of what was going on with Sonic Youth at the moment (about 60 pages). If you already have the book, these are the chapters with names of their records or songs, those are cool, read those. Then stop.
If anything, I think at least she's being honest. That makes me feel sorry for her. That's why I just didn't drop this book, some of her integrity does come through in what she's writing.
Kim:
So Thurston cheated on you with Eva Prinz. That sucks. Writing a book just for the sake of calling him a coward publicly sucks too. This could have been a long blog post or an article on a magazine or some such, but it certainly wasn't worth a book. Honestly, we didn't need to know the dirty, painful details. It's not just really really ordinary, it's also embarrassing to read. You could have saved us all the trouble of reading that part by just linking to this . Maybe you wrote this book following your therapist's suggestions, I don't know, maybe you were looking for closure. And yeah, you are a feminist. That's great. Do you need to remind us about it on every. Single. Page?
Lana del Rey should "off herself"? Really? She still hasn't written an entire book on how bitter she is. I hope and trust you will eventually find peace and happiness in the people and things you still have close to you.
A big SY fan.
January 11, 2015
Interesting and at times even moving, but mostly, there is a distance there and whether or not it's because there are places she doesn't want to go or doesn't care to take you, I'm not sure. There is something very unresolved about it as a memoir but again, that's ok - she's in the middle of a major life change and you can feel it.
Not that different from how I feel about Sonic Youth, a band I liked and even admired, but never felt a heart connection to.
All that said, I still enjoyed reading it and rooting for her - a woman at the midpoint of her life, thinking about the choices she was going to make. I loved her descriptions too - of what it was like to be on stage and play music.
I guess everyone has a New York that they love reading about and this had mine: Canal Jeans, Pearl Paint, Unique, Veselka's,the Mudd Club.
Not that different from how I feel about Sonic Youth, a band I liked and even admired, but never felt a heart connection to.
All that said, I still enjoyed reading it and rooting for her - a woman at the midpoint of her life, thinking about the choices she was going to make. I loved her descriptions too - of what it was like to be on stage and play music.
I guess everyone has a New York that they love reading about and this had mine: Canal Jeans, Pearl Paint, Unique, Veselka's,the Mudd Club.
March 6, 2015
A very fast read and quite illuminating though not for the reasons one might expect. I was pretty dismayed at how Kim's elitism and namedropping goes hand in hand with her playing punk rock contests and speaking really harshly about other women. It's one thing to say Courtney Love is crazy but quite another to complain just chapters before, how sexist it was to call a brash woman "crazy". It's one thing to admit to dating older, influential, stifling men as a young women but quite another to say in the next breath that people like Lana Del Ray don't know what feminisim is and should stop dating old gross men? Don't even get me started on how she talks about the other woman (i'm sure just one of many she knows of) that Thurston left her for. That's when it stopped being entertaining and just became plain sad. I feel for her...I hope she finds a new, less co-dependent direction in her golden years. She could be a great asset to the rock/female world but she's not taken that title on with very much intelligence or class thus far.
It's truly fascinating to me how unaware she is of how hypocritical she is...and how inadvertently anti-woman she is. She mentions in jest that she might be a sociopath. She might be on to something....
That said, fun read, I recommend reading it while playing a drinking game where you take a shot each time she contradicts her own philosophies.
-jane
It's truly fascinating to me how unaware she is of how hypocritical she is...and how inadvertently anti-woman she is. She mentions in jest that she might be a sociopath. She might be on to something....
That said, fun read, I recommend reading it while playing a drinking game where you take a shot each time she contradicts her own philosophies.
-jane
June 19, 2021
This book really reminds you to Kill Yr Idols.
I was disappointed by this book for several reasons. An author can talk about whatever they want. It's their book and it can be a part of the grieving process, but learning about Thurston Moore's affairs was frankly boring. Women also have middle age crises and this book is clearly one.
Like it's been reviewed before, there is an absurd amount of name dropping - (not) surprisingly, it's mostly men. Truly telling where the author gets her validation from. There is a subtle slut shaming tone when talking about women. So much projecting when shit talking about other bands. Zero ownership of pettiness.
Details I was somewhat turned off by: the use of the word "trannies" with zero historical context, and the statement that "dripping breast milk during a video shot is not very rock". So much internalized shit.
She claims to have never felt different from men in bands, yet she wrote a memoir called Girl in A Band. Expect a big load of white feminism from this book.
I was disappointed by this book for several reasons. An author can talk about whatever they want. It's their book and it can be a part of the grieving process, but learning about Thurston Moore's affairs was frankly boring. Women also have middle age crises and this book is clearly one.
Like it's been reviewed before, there is an absurd amount of name dropping - (not) surprisingly, it's mostly men. Truly telling where the author gets her validation from. There is a subtle slut shaming tone when talking about women. So much projecting when shit talking about other bands. Zero ownership of pettiness.
Details I was somewhat turned off by: the use of the word "trannies" with zero historical context, and the statement that "dripping breast milk during a video shot is not very rock". So much internalized shit.
She claims to have never felt different from men in bands, yet she wrote a memoir called Girl in A Band. Expect a big load of white feminism from this book.
April 5, 2023
Sonic Youth is one of the most innovative and influential bands of the past 40 years.
From the start, they questioned everything about traditional musical forms and embraced the use of alternate tunings, dissonance, and speaker feedback.
In the late 1980s and early 1990s, they became godparents of the grunge scene, ushering in a new generation of "serious" musicians, displacing the hair metal and bubblegum pop of the mid to late 1980s.
Since then, they have honed their own unique style of music, incorporating elements of modern classical music and minimalism. They are also known for their active participation in the contemporary visual arts community, an association that is reflected in many of their album covers.
In this memoir, we get the story of Sonic Youth from the perspective of co-founder Kim Gordon, who is the bassist for the band and one of its principal singers/songwriters. She is also the lone female member of the band and was married to band co-founder Thurston Moore for 27 years.
Much of the book is devoted to Kim's early years, including her childhood alongside her deeply psychologically disturbed brother, which clearly had a big impact on her future art. For example, listen to "I Love You Golden Blue" on their "Sonic Nurse" album, a favorite of mine.
We also get the perspective of Sonic Youth's connections to the broader modern art community and its impact on their music, which is all very interesting.
Another heavy focus of this memoir is the dissolution of Kim and Thurston's marriage due to Thurston's infidelity. This is a raw account from a woman who has been terribly wronged. Kim writes of Thurston's affairs and the breakup of their marriage with deep bitterness, which is totally understandable given the situation.
Somehow I think the main purpose of Kim writing this memoir was for her to vent her frustrations with Thurston. She is usually an emotionally reserved person, and this may have been the best outlet for her to release her anger.
Unfortunately, this anger also translates to her highly judgmental views of other female musicians. For example, consider her song "Mariah Carey and the Arthur Doyle Hand Cream," which was released on their "Sonic Nurse" album under the title "Kim Gordon and the Arthur Doyle Hand Cream" to avoid legal action from Mariah Carey.
How should a self-avowed feminist musician respond to other female musicians who behave in a decidedly non-feminist fashion? I don't know the answer to that question, but Kim has certainly taken the approach of biting criticism.
Overall, I enjoyed reading this memoir and learning more about one of my favorite bands. However, be aware that the story is being told from just one highly jaded perspective.
From the start, they questioned everything about traditional musical forms and embraced the use of alternate tunings, dissonance, and speaker feedback.
In the late 1980s and early 1990s, they became godparents of the grunge scene, ushering in a new generation of "serious" musicians, displacing the hair metal and bubblegum pop of the mid to late 1980s.
Since then, they have honed their own unique style of music, incorporating elements of modern classical music and minimalism. They are also known for their active participation in the contemporary visual arts community, an association that is reflected in many of their album covers.
In this memoir, we get the story of Sonic Youth from the perspective of co-founder Kim Gordon, who is the bassist for the band and one of its principal singers/songwriters. She is also the lone female member of the band and was married to band co-founder Thurston Moore for 27 years.
Much of the book is devoted to Kim's early years, including her childhood alongside her deeply psychologically disturbed brother, which clearly had a big impact on her future art. For example, listen to "I Love You Golden Blue" on their "Sonic Nurse" album, a favorite of mine.
We also get the perspective of Sonic Youth's connections to the broader modern art community and its impact on their music, which is all very interesting.
Another heavy focus of this memoir is the dissolution of Kim and Thurston's marriage due to Thurston's infidelity. This is a raw account from a woman who has been terribly wronged. Kim writes of Thurston's affairs and the breakup of their marriage with deep bitterness, which is totally understandable given the situation.
Somehow I think the main purpose of Kim writing this memoir was for her to vent her frustrations with Thurston. She is usually an emotionally reserved person, and this may have been the best outlet for her to release her anger.
Unfortunately, this anger also translates to her highly judgmental views of other female musicians. For example, consider her song "Mariah Carey and the Arthur Doyle Hand Cream," which was released on their "Sonic Nurse" album under the title "Kim Gordon and the Arthur Doyle Hand Cream" to avoid legal action from Mariah Carey.
How should a self-avowed feminist musician respond to other female musicians who behave in a decidedly non-feminist fashion? I don't know the answer to that question, but Kim has certainly taken the approach of biting criticism.
Overall, I enjoyed reading this memoir and learning more about one of my favorite bands. However, be aware that the story is being told from just one highly jaded perspective.
March 30, 2018
Kim Gordon's Girl in a Band offers interesting insights, especially on the formation of Sonic Youth, how the band approached songs and albums (what they had in mind while writing specific songs and what their studio sessions were like). Gordon also relates how the band identified itself in the context of punk/counterculture, citing tours with Nirvana, performances by Black Flag as well as voices from the art scene. Other stories (such as close calls of friends with Charles Manson in a dark version of LA, the schizophrenia of a brother), while they had some interest, were not as fully developed. That said, despite being a longtime fan of Sonic Youth, I don't think this memoir will particularly appeal to non-fans of the group.
June 24, 2015
This book gave me a different view not just on Kim Gordon herself, but also on women's rights and the role of visual arts post-1960s.
I listened to the audio book, main reason being that she is reading it herself. It was my first audiobook, so I don’t have anything to compare it to, but I have to say that her "performance" adds something to this memoir. Even if a few times her reading stutters, in my opinion this makes the experience all the more intimate. The level of intimacy here is pretty unique, in fact: warm, sometimes heartbreaking, but never obnoxious or confessional. When the book ended I felt a void, a sadness. “Oh right, I can’t listen to Kim Gordon anymore! I finished the book…�
Her break-up with Thurston Moore is discussed quite a bit: after 25+ years together, how can it not be. I found her account disarmingly honest. You can feel the pain in her words, in her voice. It’s intense. I kept asking myself, why is she telling me all these details about her relationship? But that's exactly the point: why is she telling me. The kind of intimacy that I was talking about earlier makes all the difference in the world. I think few women can be this open and honest, and certainly no man can ever even dreamto be this open and honest.
Women’s rights are also at the forefront. So much that it challenged me: do I treat women differently, without even realizing it? Am I inconsiderate, or power-hungry, especially toward women? I certainly hope not, but still, that's the kind of questions this book made me think at. It made me reconsider some old assumptions.
The stories. Oh, I don't even know where to start. They’re just great: [ ]
I can’t separate the intensity and closeness of , that i had already seen, from the validation of reading about it, confirming something unspoken that however I already knew.
The parts where she spoke about confidence almost brought me to tears. "I also had no confidence, really. [...] and without confidence it doesn't matter what you're wearing" [ch. 24] I don’t want to go into that, though.
Perhaps the most surprising part of this book is her involvement in visual arts. I didn’t know she was a visual artist first before being a musician. For example, fashion details emerge throughout the book and at first that surprised me. Mainly because of the narrow way I was thinking about her. But then it all made sense. Of course that’s interesting to a visual artist! I think her attention to visual details � in record covers, films, clothing � added layers of meaning to her work as a musician and helped define a style that’s still influential today. The way she talks about art, her own and others, (re)opened my eyes about performance, confidence and significance. It’s so easy to forget the importance of language and semiotics, but every symbol and sign is something at your disposal, and an artist knows how to utilize them. Kim Gordon certainly does.
I could go on but I’ll stop. I’ll say that Kim Gordon's voice is something that makes life worth living. It elevates you. Or at least it elevated me.
I listened to the audio book, main reason being that she is reading it herself. It was my first audiobook, so I don’t have anything to compare it to, but I have to say that her "performance" adds something to this memoir. Even if a few times her reading stutters, in my opinion this makes the experience all the more intimate. The level of intimacy here is pretty unique, in fact: warm, sometimes heartbreaking, but never obnoxious or confessional. When the book ended I felt a void, a sadness. “Oh right, I can’t listen to Kim Gordon anymore! I finished the book…�
Her break-up with Thurston Moore is discussed quite a bit: after 25+ years together, how can it not be. I found her account disarmingly honest. You can feel the pain in her words, in her voice. It’s intense. I kept asking myself, why is she telling me all these details about her relationship? But that's exactly the point: why is she telling me. The kind of intimacy that I was talking about earlier makes all the difference in the world. I think few women can be this open and honest, and certainly no man can ever even dreamto be this open and honest.
Women’s rights are also at the forefront. So much that it challenged me: do I treat women differently, without even realizing it? Am I inconsiderate, or power-hungry, especially toward women? I certainly hope not, but still, that's the kind of questions this book made me think at. It made me reconsider some old assumptions.
"The swirl of Sonic Youth music makes me forget about being a girl.�
The stories. Oh, I don't even know where to start. They’re just great: [ ]
I can’t separate the intensity and closeness of , that i had already seen, from the validation of reading about it, confirming something unspoken that however I already knew.
The parts where she spoke about confidence almost brought me to tears. "I also had no confidence, really. [...] and without confidence it doesn't matter what you're wearing" [ch. 24] I don’t want to go into that, though.
Perhaps the most surprising part of this book is her involvement in visual arts. I didn’t know she was a visual artist first before being a musician. For example, fashion details emerge throughout the book and at first that surprised me. Mainly because of the narrow way I was thinking about her. But then it all made sense. Of course that’s interesting to a visual artist! I think her attention to visual details � in record covers, films, clothing � added layers of meaning to her work as a musician and helped define a style that’s still influential today. The way she talks about art, her own and others, (re)opened my eyes about performance, confidence and significance. It’s so easy to forget the importance of language and semiotics, but every symbol and sign is something at your disposal, and an artist knows how to utilize them. Kim Gordon certainly does.
I could go on but I’ll stop. I’ll say that Kim Gordon's voice is something that makes life worth living. It elevates you. Or at least it elevated me.
July 16, 2018
True to her stage persona Kim Gordon has the effortless cool detached rock thing happening, what you see is what you get. Kim is a hard nut to crack, you can see that she truly struggles to open up but when she does it’s worth the wait.
She can be scathing, hard edged and cynical. Sometimes a little too harsh. Something that bugged me...I didn’t always like the dissing of some of the better known alternative bands that made it into the mainstream. Like they were lesser bands because of it. Good music is good music regardless of the number of records sold. You could argue signing up to a successful record company IS selling out but I think I’ve made my point. The whole argument of what is considered “punk rock� or “alternative� is also a touchy subject for Kim and she has her strong opinions of what constitutes that. I’m not sure it’s that clearly defined, genres blend, merge and evolve over time.
Coming from an academic middle class background made Kim feel like she didn’t quite fit in especially when first moving from L.A to N.Y.C she felt displaced like an outsider amongst the outsiders, gravitating more towards the New York art crowd. From the beginning she never really felt like a part of the rock star “scene�.
The book follows the early beginnings of her relationship with life partner and musical collaborator Thurston Moore, soon after meeting the creation of Sonic Youth was born. The deep connection they found defining the music and turning it into something special, they really took the dissonant no wave sound to a whole new level.
In this book Kim explains the difficulties of combining motherhood and touring, the hardship of moving away from the city she no longer recognises and the unglamorous side of the rock business. It’s not all sex, drugs and rock n roll after all!
Sadly you can still feel the raw pain when she is describing the crumbling of a 27 year marriage due to her husbands infidelity also coinciding with the eventual demise of the band. Both Kim and Thurston go off in separate directions pursuing other projects. Kim eventually going back to her art roots and going on to finding other musical collaborations.
She can be scathing, hard edged and cynical. Sometimes a little too harsh. Something that bugged me...I didn’t always like the dissing of some of the better known alternative bands that made it into the mainstream. Like they were lesser bands because of it. Good music is good music regardless of the number of records sold. You could argue signing up to a successful record company IS selling out but I think I’ve made my point. The whole argument of what is considered “punk rock� or “alternative� is also a touchy subject for Kim and she has her strong opinions of what constitutes that. I’m not sure it’s that clearly defined, genres blend, merge and evolve over time.
Coming from an academic middle class background made Kim feel like she didn’t quite fit in especially when first moving from L.A to N.Y.C she felt displaced like an outsider amongst the outsiders, gravitating more towards the New York art crowd. From the beginning she never really felt like a part of the rock star “scene�.
The book follows the early beginnings of her relationship with life partner and musical collaborator Thurston Moore, soon after meeting the creation of Sonic Youth was born. The deep connection they found defining the music and turning it into something special, they really took the dissonant no wave sound to a whole new level.
In this book Kim explains the difficulties of combining motherhood and touring, the hardship of moving away from the city she no longer recognises and the unglamorous side of the rock business. It’s not all sex, drugs and rock n roll after all!
Sadly you can still feel the raw pain when she is describing the crumbling of a 27 year marriage due to her husbands infidelity also coinciding with the eventual demise of the band. Both Kim and Thurston go off in separate directions pursuing other projects. Kim eventually going back to her art roots and going on to finding other musical collaborations.
February 8, 2017
Kim Gordon's life has certainly taken her to fascinating places. Growing up in the sixties, traveling, infiltrating the NYC art scene, Sonic Youth's formation and success, starting her own fashion line, producing others music and films, becoming an artist in her own right and all while being female and a mother, something ignorant journalists never fail to ask her about. Theres certainly never a dull moment in this book. Kim opens up about all these things as well as her personal relationships, growing up with a schizophrenic older brother and her 30 year relationship with Thurston Moore.
Kim is very articulate and honest while discussing her personal life, including the painful details of Thurston's infidelities which led to their divorce. At times I could sense the pain and anger in her words, clearly not completely over the betrayal just yet. However there were other moments in the book that had me cringing, the attitude in her words while writing about her place in the scene, or certain people made her come off as snobbish and very self-important. I expected some (deservedly) negative comments about Courtney Love thrown in, she did after all work in studio and tour with her but for instance writing comments about how scarred Love's nose was and how she's clearly had more then one nose job as well as throwing in an "ewww" at the idea of her liking Billy Corgan (he's "in no way punk rock"), made her come off as a high school mean girl as opposed to a 61 year old adult.
While slightly disappointed in what read at times as though Kim has come to believe her own hype I still did very much enjoy the book and recommend it to Sonic Youth/feminists/90's nostalgics like myself!
Thank for Edelweiss for this review copy.
Kim is very articulate and honest while discussing her personal life, including the painful details of Thurston's infidelities which led to their divorce. At times I could sense the pain and anger in her words, clearly not completely over the betrayal just yet. However there were other moments in the book that had me cringing, the attitude in her words while writing about her place in the scene, or certain people made her come off as snobbish and very self-important. I expected some (deservedly) negative comments about Courtney Love thrown in, she did after all work in studio and tour with her but for instance writing comments about how scarred Love's nose was and how she's clearly had more then one nose job as well as throwing in an "ewww" at the idea of her liking Billy Corgan (he's "in no way punk rock"), made her come off as a high school mean girl as opposed to a 61 year old adult.
While slightly disappointed in what read at times as though Kim has come to believe her own hype I still did very much enjoy the book and recommend it to Sonic Youth/feminists/90's nostalgics like myself!
Thank for Edelweiss for this review copy.
January 3, 2016
I'm hoping that this will turn out to be the biggest literary let-down of 2015, because I can't think what could be worse. You know how Gordon is famous for being icy, opaque, inscrutable? This memoir is.. icy, opaque and inscrutable. Page after page of naming art dealers, a statement at the beginning about her whole reason for writing the book was because of her marriage ending - and you find out *nothing* about her relationship with her former husband, Thurston Moore. She disses several other well known female musicians with a kind of off-hand 'meh'. If you didn't know anything about KG before you read the book, don't worry - you'll know almost less after you read it.
All of which would be bearable if her writing was nimble, quirky or interesting. But 99% of it isn't. Really disappointing.
All of which would be bearable if her writing was nimble, quirky or interesting. But 99% of it isn't. Really disappointing.
May 3, 2017
I think its telling that after spending 270 pages with the author I don't really have a sense of her as an artist, musician, or a person. I know a lot more about her projects and things that happened to her, but at the end of the book she remains a cipher. For someone who has accomplished so much the book feels thin, understandably disjointed, yet lacking in depth. It's also oddly humorless, but as many have remarked, the memoir begins and ends with her break-up with Thurston Moore and it colors the project in its sad tones. While Gordon is generous in her praise of Moore's artistry, musicianship and abilities as a father, one can't help but wonder what this book would be like if she'd let a bit more water flow under the bridge. The meat of the book describes her relationships with various artists and the circumstances under which Sonic Youth's records were produced. I loved learning about her friendship with the L.A. artist Mike Kelley and how she wrote an article for Artforum about him and Raymond Pettibon. She was also inspired by Black Flag house show in Hermosa Beach. This is really engaging stuff, I just wish there was more of it.
April 4, 2015
Last night I came across a journal I kept in late 1997 and early 1998, a journal I completely had forgotten about, but it seemed fitting to come across it now since reading this book has taken me back to around that period when I was listening to a lot of Sonic Youth. It was like being 19, 20 again and feeling like music was actually accomplishing something. (All that really meant was I was listening to music that affected me in some way, regardless of what it was doing to the rest of the listeners.)
I have long been a fan of Kim Gordon's especially. I'm not going to be all Team Kim or Team Thurston because that's ridiculous - they created music together and it's pretty awesome to listen to still, but she was more than just a "girl in a band", duh, which is what this memoir is really about.
Before we get anywhere near the Sonic Youth years, Gordon talks about growing up on the west coast and her troubled relationship with her older brother. Their relationship caused Gordon to control her reactions and behaviors which, in later years, has often been viewed as her being aloof or cold or indifferent. This is something I can relate to quite a bit, actually. Not the schizophrenic brother part, I mean, but being judged for my exterior because of the expectations of others. My reasons for it may have been different from Gordon's, but the end result is familiar to me.
Gordon also talks about living in New York in the 80s and 90s, and this, I think, is where a lot of readers have difficulty with the book. Gordon talks a lot about the artists and musicians she encountered during this time, and it can come across as being really name-droppy. But I also think that was the environment. She was in New York during a very specific time in music history, so she encountered a lot of different people, many of whom were just as important to that history as Sonic Youth was. She worked with many of them in a variety of ways, collaborated with them, learned from them, and grew with them. She was older than a lot of women in the scene and, from what I've read elsewhere, sort of been a mentor to many of them, though it's evident from reading this book that those relationships were equally important to Gordon like Chloe Sevigny, Kathleen Hanna, Sofia Coppola, Kim Deal.
Some of the reviews I've read about this book are interesting in that many readers are commenting on and attacking Gordon for her distaste for Lana Del Rey and Courtney Love specifically, as though Gordon sharing her thoughts on them or her experiences with Love make Gordon less of a feminist than she claims to be. I find that hard to agree with. In any case, I haven't seen one review yet where anyone has shown any dissatisfaction for the comments Gordon made about Billy Corgan. She is also not a fan of Corgan on a personal level, but that seems to be okay for readers which I find surprising and interesting. It also makes me wonder if these same readers have read a lot of these sorts of musical memoirs - a lot of artists are pretty catty in the memoirs. I saw the same thing in Dean Wareham's with his numerous complaints about radio play in general, or the Pixies, or other groups that Galaxie 500 was getting lumped in with at the time.
It's a catty world, people.
But with all the cattiness, there were some good moments with her peers as well. I got to see a different perspective on Kurt Cobain based on Gordon's friendship to him, for example. Baby Frances Bean and baby Coco got together for a while and did whatever it is babies do, which is not a side of these musicians I've really gotten to hear about. And while there isn't much detail about it, it's there, period.
There is a distance in Gordon's writing that I have also seen other reviewers complain about. I don't disagree with them that it exists, but I think I also understand it. I do wish it had been a more exciting read, but I enjoyed revisiting specifically the 90s with her.
Above all, what's especially interesting is the way Gordon talks about but doesn't necessarily dwell on how the media would talk to women in music. At one point journalists were asking Gordon what it was like to be a "girl in a band", while they were unlikely asking Thurston, Ranaldo, or any other band member what it was like to be a "boy in a band". Later, after she had had Coco, journalists started to ask her what it was like to be a mother while on tour. In both instances journalists were using her gender against her, focusing on her femininity rather than her artistic ability. I think she would have wanted to discuss that in more detail, or maybe she just threw those anecdotes out there for her readers to make of it what they will. I just wonder how many readers really picked up on that. The thing is that sort of sexism still happens - I saw an interview a while back with Jennifer Garner. She had just had like two movies come out that year, and all the person interviewing her wanted to talk about was her husband, Ben Affleck's, success in the movie Gone Girl. Garner handled it all very graciously, because that's the sort of lady she is, but the point was pretty obvious - you are the wife, and the mother, and while you may be doing the same thing your husband is doing, let's actually just talk about your husband and your thoughts on his success.
My point is that very little has changed in this regard in the past 20+ years, obviously.
While I appreciate Gordon as a musician and an artist, I have to admit that her writing itself leaves a bit to be desired. I found her book interesting, but can understand how someone who is not into her or Sonic Youth might find it tedious and cold. If you're interested in understanding their music and lyrics a bit more, then there's some of that here for you as well.
I agree with my friend Christopher's review where he said he felt the whole Thurston Moore divorce thing read as being a bit forced, like it was something maybe Gordon herself didn't want to talk about it but either felt pressure from her publisher, editor, or the public. Other reviews, again, have it completely wrong and just want to call Gordon a bitter and scorned woman which is pretty common anytime a woman voices her pain in a relationship. The point is no one knows all of what happened between them - this is merely her own story, and if she is hurt and it comes across as bitter, so be it. Your opinion on her feelings as she presented them says more about you than it does about her.
That all being said, now let's all go back to a before Mommy and Daddy broke up. Stars Hollow makes everything better.
I have long been a fan of Kim Gordon's especially. I'm not going to be all Team Kim or Team Thurston because that's ridiculous - they created music together and it's pretty awesome to listen to still, but she was more than just a "girl in a band", duh, which is what this memoir is really about.
Before we get anywhere near the Sonic Youth years, Gordon talks about growing up on the west coast and her troubled relationship with her older brother. Their relationship caused Gordon to control her reactions and behaviors which, in later years, has often been viewed as her being aloof or cold or indifferent. This is something I can relate to quite a bit, actually. Not the schizophrenic brother part, I mean, but being judged for my exterior because of the expectations of others. My reasons for it may have been different from Gordon's, but the end result is familiar to me.
Gordon also talks about living in New York in the 80s and 90s, and this, I think, is where a lot of readers have difficulty with the book. Gordon talks a lot about the artists and musicians she encountered during this time, and it can come across as being really name-droppy. But I also think that was the environment. She was in New York during a very specific time in music history, so she encountered a lot of different people, many of whom were just as important to that history as Sonic Youth was. She worked with many of them in a variety of ways, collaborated with them, learned from them, and grew with them. She was older than a lot of women in the scene and, from what I've read elsewhere, sort of been a mentor to many of them, though it's evident from reading this book that those relationships were equally important to Gordon like Chloe Sevigny, Kathleen Hanna, Sofia Coppola, Kim Deal.
Some of the reviews I've read about this book are interesting in that many readers are commenting on and attacking Gordon for her distaste for Lana Del Rey and Courtney Love specifically, as though Gordon sharing her thoughts on them or her experiences with Love make Gordon less of a feminist than she claims to be. I find that hard to agree with. In any case, I haven't seen one review yet where anyone has shown any dissatisfaction for the comments Gordon made about Billy Corgan. She is also not a fan of Corgan on a personal level, but that seems to be okay for readers which I find surprising and interesting. It also makes me wonder if these same readers have read a lot of these sorts of musical memoirs - a lot of artists are pretty catty in the memoirs. I saw the same thing in Dean Wareham's with his numerous complaints about radio play in general, or the Pixies, or other groups that Galaxie 500 was getting lumped in with at the time.
It's a catty world, people.
But with all the cattiness, there were some good moments with her peers as well. I got to see a different perspective on Kurt Cobain based on Gordon's friendship to him, for example. Baby Frances Bean and baby Coco got together for a while and did whatever it is babies do, which is not a side of these musicians I've really gotten to hear about. And while there isn't much detail about it, it's there, period.
There is a distance in Gordon's writing that I have also seen other reviewers complain about. I don't disagree with them that it exists, but I think I also understand it. I do wish it had been a more exciting read, but I enjoyed revisiting specifically the 90s with her.
Above all, what's especially interesting is the way Gordon talks about but doesn't necessarily dwell on how the media would talk to women in music. At one point journalists were asking Gordon what it was like to be a "girl in a band", while they were unlikely asking Thurston, Ranaldo, or any other band member what it was like to be a "boy in a band". Later, after she had had Coco, journalists started to ask her what it was like to be a mother while on tour. In both instances journalists were using her gender against her, focusing on her femininity rather than her artistic ability. I think she would have wanted to discuss that in more detail, or maybe she just threw those anecdotes out there for her readers to make of it what they will. I just wonder how many readers really picked up on that. The thing is that sort of sexism still happens - I saw an interview a while back with Jennifer Garner. She had just had like two movies come out that year, and all the person interviewing her wanted to talk about was her husband, Ben Affleck's, success in the movie Gone Girl. Garner handled it all very graciously, because that's the sort of lady she is, but the point was pretty obvious - you are the wife, and the mother, and while you may be doing the same thing your husband is doing, let's actually just talk about your husband and your thoughts on his success.
My point is that very little has changed in this regard in the past 20+ years, obviously.
While I appreciate Gordon as a musician and an artist, I have to admit that her writing itself leaves a bit to be desired. I found her book interesting, but can understand how someone who is not into her or Sonic Youth might find it tedious and cold. If you're interested in understanding their music and lyrics a bit more, then there's some of that here for you as well.
I agree with my friend Christopher's review where he said he felt the whole Thurston Moore divorce thing read as being a bit forced, like it was something maybe Gordon herself didn't want to talk about it but either felt pressure from her publisher, editor, or the public. Other reviews, again, have it completely wrong and just want to call Gordon a bitter and scorned woman which is pretty common anytime a woman voices her pain in a relationship. The point is no one knows all of what happened between them - this is merely her own story, and if she is hurt and it comes across as bitter, so be it. Your opinion on her feelings as she presented them says more about you than it does about her.
That all being said, now let's all go back to a before Mommy and Daddy broke up. Stars Hollow makes everything better.
February 20, 2022
i’m a simple girl. i see a music memoir written by a woman, i read it.
sometimes it’s a hit (e.g. just kids by patti smith) sometimes it’s a miss (e.g. girl in a band by kim gordon).
i really didn’t have many expectations for this book. i have listened to sonic youth casually in the past, but never to the point where i was invested in the band members or their lives. i decided to give this book a chance because, as the title suggest, ‘girl in a band� sounds like it’s going to be about what it’s like being a woman in a patriarchal music industry, right? wrong.
one thing you have to know about me is i’m very anti dnfing because:
1. i have fear of missing out. i don’t care if i don’t even know these people, i will make their lives my business because i have to know everything.
2. i have literally nothing better to do
so it really takes a lot for me to dnf a book� and i dnf’d this book at 60%.
kim gordon does briefly talk about misogyny in the music industry. she addresses the fact that women are forced to fit marketable molds in order to be successful � she used the example of the spice girls and their varying personas. then she addresses that women are also over sexualized and sexually exploited, but some women reclaim that image � she uses the example of madonna.
right about here i was like “yeah, yeah okay i see where we’re going with this� and then out of left field kim gordon says “today we have someone like lana del rey, who doesn’t even know what feminism is, who believes it means women can do whatever they want, which in her world, tilts towards self-destruction, whether it’s sleeping with gross older men or being a transient biker queen� does she truly believe it’s beautiful when young musicians go out on a hot flame of drugs and depression, or is it just a persona?�
YOU’VE LOST THE PLOT KIMMY!!! oh my god how can she go from talking about how women are forced to fit marketable molds and then get mad at lana del rey for fitting a forced marketable mold??? how are you going to encourage women to reclaim their sexuality after being sexually exploited by the industry and then blame lana for who she’s sleeping with???
this wasn’t the first time she did this either. at the beginning of the book she referred to courtney love as “a car crash� and that she would never want to be like her but then later on she starts bragging about her friendship with courtney and hole. then she got mad when courtney started to hate her. KIM GORDON YOU WILL NEVER BE COURTNEY LOVE!!!!
—ĔĔĔĔĔĔ�-
update & major tw: i just found out that in the original print the quote says: “today we have someone like lana del rey, who doesn’t even know what feminism is, who believes women can do whatever they want, which in her world, tilts toward self-destruction, whether it’s sleeping with gross old men or getting gang raped by bikers� naturally, it’s just a persona. if she really truly believes it’s beautiful when young musicians go out on a hot flame of drugs and depression, why doesn’t she just off herself?� HOLY SHIT???????
sometimes it’s a hit (e.g. just kids by patti smith) sometimes it’s a miss (e.g. girl in a band by kim gordon).
i really didn’t have many expectations for this book. i have listened to sonic youth casually in the past, but never to the point where i was invested in the band members or their lives. i decided to give this book a chance because, as the title suggest, ‘girl in a band� sounds like it’s going to be about what it’s like being a woman in a patriarchal music industry, right? wrong.
one thing you have to know about me is i’m very anti dnfing because:
1. i have fear of missing out. i don’t care if i don’t even know these people, i will make their lives my business because i have to know everything.
2. i have literally nothing better to do
so it really takes a lot for me to dnf a book� and i dnf’d this book at 60%.
kim gordon does briefly talk about misogyny in the music industry. she addresses the fact that women are forced to fit marketable molds in order to be successful � she used the example of the spice girls and their varying personas. then she addresses that women are also over sexualized and sexually exploited, but some women reclaim that image � she uses the example of madonna.
right about here i was like “yeah, yeah okay i see where we’re going with this� and then out of left field kim gordon says “today we have someone like lana del rey, who doesn’t even know what feminism is, who believes it means women can do whatever they want, which in her world, tilts towards self-destruction, whether it’s sleeping with gross older men or being a transient biker queen� does she truly believe it’s beautiful when young musicians go out on a hot flame of drugs and depression, or is it just a persona?�
YOU’VE LOST THE PLOT KIMMY!!! oh my god how can she go from talking about how women are forced to fit marketable molds and then get mad at lana del rey for fitting a forced marketable mold??? how are you going to encourage women to reclaim their sexuality after being sexually exploited by the industry and then blame lana for who she’s sleeping with???
this wasn’t the first time she did this either. at the beginning of the book she referred to courtney love as “a car crash� and that she would never want to be like her but then later on she starts bragging about her friendship with courtney and hole. then she got mad when courtney started to hate her. KIM GORDON YOU WILL NEVER BE COURTNEY LOVE!!!!
—ĔĔĔĔĔĔ�-
update & major tw: i just found out that in the original print the quote says: “today we have someone like lana del rey, who doesn’t even know what feminism is, who believes women can do whatever they want, which in her world, tilts toward self-destruction, whether it’s sleeping with gross old men or getting gang raped by bikers� naturally, it’s just a persona. if she really truly believes it’s beautiful when young musicians go out on a hot flame of drugs and depression, why doesn’t she just off herself?� HOLY SHIT???????
October 2, 2016
What I found most interesting about Girl in a Band was the way Kim Gordon’s experiences in the Manhattan art world of the 1980s affected her other creative pursuits, including music. There’s a lot of appropriation going on, and Kim speaks quite openly about the ways various songs, album covers, and other projects were influenced by other artists and creative works she admires. This was a new way of looking at creativity for me, and I enjoyed it.
Some reviewers have complained that Kim should not have spent as much time as she did focusing on the dissolution of her marriage, but I don’t really agree. While I can understand not liking the way her divorce bookended everything else in the memoir, I don’t think that her husband’s cheating shouldn’t be addressed just because it’s such a common story. It’s not Kim’s fault that her husband behaved in an unethical and, yes, predictable and unoriginal way, but she had it dropped in her lap and it’s a significant part of her own life story. The vulnerability and humanity Kim shows in these scenes helped round out the narrative for me.
Ultimately, though, I think Kim is just not a natural writer of longer narratives, and her work suffers in comparison with some of the other big-name music memoirs out there. I’m grateful for the glimpse this book gave me into an interesting woman’s creative and personal life, but I’d have to say Girl in a Band is best for diehard fans.
Some reviewers have complained that Kim should not have spent as much time as she did focusing on the dissolution of her marriage, but I don’t really agree. While I can understand not liking the way her divorce bookended everything else in the memoir, I don’t think that her husband’s cheating shouldn’t be addressed just because it’s such a common story. It’s not Kim’s fault that her husband behaved in an unethical and, yes, predictable and unoriginal way, but she had it dropped in her lap and it’s a significant part of her own life story. The vulnerability and humanity Kim shows in these scenes helped round out the narrative for me.
Ultimately, though, I think Kim is just not a natural writer of longer narratives, and her work suffers in comparison with some of the other big-name music memoirs out there. I’m grateful for the glimpse this book gave me into an interesting woman’s creative and personal life, but I’d have to say Girl in a Band is best for diehard fans.
November 25, 2015
Maskenfreiheit: The Freedom Conferred by Masks
"In general, though women aren't really allowed to be kick-ass. It's like the famous distinction between art and craft: Art and wilderness, and pushing against the edges, is a male thing. Craft and control, and polish, is for women. Culturally we don't allow women to be as free as they would like, because that is frightening. We either shun those women or deem them crazy. Female singers who push too much, and too hard, don't tend to last very long. They're jags, bolts, comets: Janis Joplin, Billie Holliday. But being that woman who pushes the boundaries means you also bring in less desirable aspects of yourself. At the end of the day, women are expected to hold up the world, not annihilate it."
-- Kim Gordon, 'Girl in a Band'
I normally don't read artist, musician, or author memoirs. Just not something I have done much. No real biblioideology behind it, just not my thing. Recently, however, I picked up Patti Smith's and loved it, so I thought I should read another rock memoir written by a woman I loved growing up. Different kick ass singer, different kick ass period. In some ways Patti Smith and Kim Deal are very different, but in other ways both women's memoirs are similar and work for similar reasons. They are both raw, emotional, authentic (as much as a memoir is ever really authentic), and interesting. Boring these women were not. So, here is my take, the good, bad, and ugly --
First the Good: Kim Gordon has a narrative talent. Her prose reaches moments of beauty and poignance that are both delicate and strong. While I have always loved Sonic Youth, and known about them in a peripheral way, I never focused too long or too hard on the rock opera that is modern rock. I knew where their music fit in, but didn't care too much about where they fit in. it was nice to be able to place people and places around some of these rock heroes. Danny Elfman, Kurt Cobain, J. Mascis, Henry Rollins, Kim Deal, Beck, etc. I knew each of these musicians and their music, but didn't know how they all intersected with Kim and Thurston. Kim (like Patti Smith) also beautifully describes not just the NY music scene (CBGB, Noise Fest, Hurrah, the Mudd Club), but also the art scene too. I love how absolutely integrated rock was with the art scene (again think Patti Smith, David Byrne, etc) in NY in the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s.
Next, the Bad: not much. Sometimes when Kim switches from a traditional beginning, middle, end narrative and inserts about 1/2 into the book a set of chapters that are just additional pieces on albums and songs and her thoughts from the time with Sonic Youth, it all seems a bit neat and experimental; all messing with the format. However, by the end I just thought it was a way to help get past the middle hump. It seemed a bit out of place and get like the publisher asked for the book to be 270+ pages and not 200 pages, so Kim found an expedient way to fill up 70+ additional pages.
And yes too, the Ugly: The divorce of course. Ugh. There is nothing sadder than seeing your idols fall, your heroes transgress, and marriages fail apart. It is personal and vicious and you can tell by Kim's details that it all still stings. Perhaps, getting it all out there for her was a form of therapy. But ouch! I don't feel bad for Thurston, but ugh.
"In general, though women aren't really allowed to be kick-ass. It's like the famous distinction between art and craft: Art and wilderness, and pushing against the edges, is a male thing. Craft and control, and polish, is for women. Culturally we don't allow women to be as free as they would like, because that is frightening. We either shun those women or deem them crazy. Female singers who push too much, and too hard, don't tend to last very long. They're jags, bolts, comets: Janis Joplin, Billie Holliday. But being that woman who pushes the boundaries means you also bring in less desirable aspects of yourself. At the end of the day, women are expected to hold up the world, not annihilate it."
-- Kim Gordon, 'Girl in a Band'
I normally don't read artist, musician, or author memoirs. Just not something I have done much. No real biblioideology behind it, just not my thing. Recently, however, I picked up Patti Smith's and loved it, so I thought I should read another rock memoir written by a woman I loved growing up. Different kick ass singer, different kick ass period. In some ways Patti Smith and Kim Deal are very different, but in other ways both women's memoirs are similar and work for similar reasons. They are both raw, emotional, authentic (as much as a memoir is ever really authentic), and interesting. Boring these women were not. So, here is my take, the good, bad, and ugly --
First the Good: Kim Gordon has a narrative talent. Her prose reaches moments of beauty and poignance that are both delicate and strong. While I have always loved Sonic Youth, and known about them in a peripheral way, I never focused too long or too hard on the rock opera that is modern rock. I knew where their music fit in, but didn't care too much about where they fit in. it was nice to be able to place people and places around some of these rock heroes. Danny Elfman, Kurt Cobain, J. Mascis, Henry Rollins, Kim Deal, Beck, etc. I knew each of these musicians and their music, but didn't know how they all intersected with Kim and Thurston. Kim (like Patti Smith) also beautifully describes not just the NY music scene (CBGB, Noise Fest, Hurrah, the Mudd Club), but also the art scene too. I love how absolutely integrated rock was with the art scene (again think Patti Smith, David Byrne, etc) in NY in the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s.
Next, the Bad: not much. Sometimes when Kim switches from a traditional beginning, middle, end narrative and inserts about 1/2 into the book a set of chapters that are just additional pieces on albums and songs and her thoughts from the time with Sonic Youth, it all seems a bit neat and experimental; all messing with the format. However, by the end I just thought it was a way to help get past the middle hump. It seemed a bit out of place and get like the publisher asked for the book to be 270+ pages and not 200 pages, so Kim found an expedient way to fill up 70+ additional pages.
And yes too, the Ugly: The divorce of course. Ugh. There is nothing sadder than seeing your idols fall, your heroes transgress, and marriages fail apart. It is personal and vicious and you can tell by Kim's details that it all still stings. Perhaps, getting it all out there for her was a form of therapy. But ouch! I don't feel bad for Thurston, but ugh.
July 28, 2019
Liked it but didn't love it. I'm not sure how I came to purchase this book. I think it must have been on a "buy two get one free" table at the bookstore. I have heard of Sonic Youth but have never listened to their music. I liked reading about the author's childhood, growing up in L.A. in the 60's and having a schizophrenic brother. I also liked reading about her life in New York City, forming a band, getting married and having a child in a rock 'n roll environment. The only part that slogged for me was the art scene (of which I know nothing about). If you are familiar with it than I'm sure you'll get more out of it than I did.
Music is a huge part of my life so I liked reading about Kim Gordon's life even though I'm not familiar with her band. It's great to read about successful women in rock 'n roll!
Music is a huge part of my life so I liked reading about Kim Gordon's life even though I'm not familiar with her band. It's great to read about successful women in rock 'n roll!
September 27, 2015
I loved Sonic Youth and saw them many times so I was really looking forward to this book. Then I read it. Once you discard all the pointless and insecure name dropping, there are two main points the author makes:
1. All her life she has lived in the shadow of men who have made it impossible for her to figure out who she was and what she was all about.
2. She had the most difficult pregnancy of any woman on earth and found raising one child to be an unbearable burden, the likes of which no other woman has ever faced before.
The burning question left unresolved - how does such a self-absorbed, talentless, anti-capitalist hack divide her time between her homes in Los Angeles, New York, and Northampton?
1. All her life she has lived in the shadow of men who have made it impossible for her to figure out who she was and what she was all about.
2. She had the most difficult pregnancy of any woman on earth and found raising one child to be an unbearable burden, the likes of which no other woman has ever faced before.
The burning question left unresolved - how does such a self-absorbed, talentless, anti-capitalist hack divide her time between her homes in Los Angeles, New York, and Northampton?
March 25, 2015
i know I'm in the minority of most readers of Kim Gordon's "Girl in a Band," but I think the book would be a lot more interesting if she focused on her childhood and then the New York years. I liked her descriptions of Manhattan life in the late 70s and early 80's - and also the sections that deals with her ill brother. If I was the editor, I would ask more writing about her family as well as the early stages of being an artist among other artists in the New York world. The marriage part is too recent and raw for this type of book. I can understand why she would want to write it, and I truly can understand from a publisher's point of view as well - but... the marriage is not or shouldn't be the subject matter of this memoir. That could be another book!
I would like to read more about her relationship with the other artists, for instance Mike Kelley. I suspect Mike had just as a big influence or presence for Kim as the husband - and also she was (and still is) surrounded by fascinating people. This is a very hard to put down book, due to her writing - but for sure more time and space should have been focused on her early years. Her commentary on the Sonic Youth years are just not that interesting compared to her life before the band. This could have been two books. One before Sonic Youth -and then another book on Sonic Youth and the marriage, etc.
I would like to read more about her relationship with the other artists, for instance Mike Kelley. I suspect Mike had just as a big influence or presence for Kim as the husband - and also she was (and still is) surrounded by fascinating people. This is a very hard to put down book, due to her writing - but for sure more time and space should have been focused on her early years. Her commentary on the Sonic Youth years are just not that interesting compared to her life before the band. This could have been two books. One before Sonic Youth -and then another book on Sonic Youth and the marriage, etc.
June 30, 2019
West Coast Girl (in an East Coast Band)
This memoir could equally have been titled “West Coast Girl in an East Coast Band".
Kim Gordon spent much of her youth outside New York, and really only gravitated towards there to pursue an artistic career after she finished college.
New York, to her, represented a combination of “influences and possibilities� (“it was all unknown and possibility", aka “risk and excitement�).
She arrived just as the avant garde art scene was corporatising and starting to be dictated by financial concerns, i. e., “art as money", the desire to make money, both as an artist and a consumer/trader of art.
(An Itch to Go) Against the Grain
According to Kim, this was never her goal, she was more unconventional, she had “an itch to go against the grain", and she ended up on the cusp of art and music (what she calls “New York's Bohemian downtown art scene"), playing bass guitar in Sonic Youth, even though she still regarded herself more as a visual and conceptual artist.
Sonic Youth were an opportunity to “create a forward wave of momentum, noise, and motion.�
(Kool Thing in a) Dissonant and Wild Band
I only ever saw the band play once, in 2004 in Sydney, supported by J Mascis. As Kim says of the band in general, they were “dissonant and wild", although she claims that she has always believed that “the radical is far more interesting when it looks benign and ordinary on the outside.� (Kim's way of addressing criticism of Sonic Youth's "avant-conservatism".)
Coincidentally, the following day, they were on the same plane to Bris Angeles as me, on the way to their next gig. I spoke briefly to Kim’s “soul mate" and then husband, Thurston Moore, who sought some advice about where to buy second hand poetry books. I was too intimidated to talk to Kim, in all her “wild American gorgeousness". Perhaps I thought that she was truly unknowable, though this book goes some distance to overcoming this impression, without condemning her to either “blandness and conformity" or a female/feminist equivalent of Richard Hell’s “music, poetry, and self-adoration".
Conventional Break-Up
The memoir is book-ended by intimate (painful) details of the break-up of Gordon's marriage to Thurston Moore, although it has to be said that this is the least interesting and most conventional aspect of the book (love gone wrong).
It's far more interesting when she describes her world of influences and possibilities. This is how she looks back on the turn of the century, in contrast to the “beloved 1960’s" of the Velvet Underground and the Doors, and the “pure audacity" of John Lydon’s post-Sex Pistols band, Public Image Ltd:
Forever Changes
Over the course of the memoir, Kim changes, just as the times have changed: “I know, it sounds like I'm someone else entirely now, and I guess I am.� You have to ask whether the journey was towards greater authenticity or the reverse. Alternatively, she might just have returned to the idealism of her West Coast origins.
SOUNDTRACK:
Sonic Youth - "Sugar Kane"
"You're perfect in the way, a perfect end today
You're burning out their lights and burning in their eyes."
Sonic Youth - "Kool Thing"
"There's something I got to ask you.
I just want to know, what are you gonna do for me?
I mean, are you gonna liberate us girls
From male white corporate oppression?"
This memoir could equally have been titled “West Coast Girl in an East Coast Band".
Kim Gordon spent much of her youth outside New York, and really only gravitated towards there to pursue an artistic career after she finished college.
New York, to her, represented a combination of “influences and possibilities� (“it was all unknown and possibility", aka “risk and excitement�).
She arrived just as the avant garde art scene was corporatising and starting to be dictated by financial concerns, i. e., “art as money", the desire to make money, both as an artist and a consumer/trader of art.
(An Itch to Go) Against the Grain
According to Kim, this was never her goal, she was more unconventional, she had “an itch to go against the grain", and she ended up on the cusp of art and music (what she calls “New York's Bohemian downtown art scene"), playing bass guitar in Sonic Youth, even though she still regarded herself more as a visual and conceptual artist.
Sonic Youth were an opportunity to “create a forward wave of momentum, noise, and motion.�
(Kool Thing in a) Dissonant and Wild Band
I only ever saw the band play once, in 2004 in Sydney, supported by J Mascis. As Kim says of the band in general, they were “dissonant and wild", although she claims that she has always believed that “the radical is far more interesting when it looks benign and ordinary on the outside.� (Kim's way of addressing criticism of Sonic Youth's "avant-conservatism".)
Coincidentally, the following day, they were on the same plane to Bris Angeles as me, on the way to their next gig. I spoke briefly to Kim’s “soul mate" and then husband, Thurston Moore, who sought some advice about where to buy second hand poetry books. I was too intimidated to talk to Kim, in all her “wild American gorgeousness". Perhaps I thought that she was truly unknowable, though this book goes some distance to overcoming this impression, without condemning her to either “blandness and conformity" or a female/feminist equivalent of Richard Hell’s “music, poetry, and self-adoration".
Conventional Break-Up
The memoir is book-ended by intimate (painful) details of the break-up of Gordon's marriage to Thurston Moore, although it has to be said that this is the least interesting and most conventional aspect of the book (love gone wrong).
It's far more interesting when she describes her world of influences and possibilities. This is how she looks back on the turn of the century, in contrast to the “beloved 1960’s" of the Velvet Underground and the Doors, and the “pure audacity" of John Lydon’s post-Sex Pistols band, Public Image Ltd:
“For Sonic Youth, there was almost something hard-won and unself-conscious about fighting our way through the obstacles of drugs and greed, past clubs of overly burnished bodies and buffed teeth. Then, as the millennium neared, music became all about repentance and atonement for everybody's thoughtless and decadent climb to success.�
Forever Changes
Over the course of the memoir, Kim changes, just as the times have changed: “I know, it sounds like I'm someone else entirely now, and I guess I am.� You have to ask whether the journey was towards greater authenticity or the reverse. Alternatively, she might just have returned to the idealism of her West Coast origins.
SOUNDTRACK:
Sonic Youth - "Sugar Kane"
"You're perfect in the way, a perfect end today
You're burning out their lights and burning in their eyes."
Sonic Youth - "Kool Thing"
"There's something I got to ask you.
I just want to know, what are you gonna do for me?
I mean, are you gonna liberate us girls
From male white corporate oppression?"
January 24, 2024
Kim Gordon has produced a fairly entertaining, but in this reader's opinion, standard rock and roll autobio. I know that it is difficult for families to contend with a member having mental illness and Kim writes of that, but many families have such issues. And divorce is now ubiquitous, so hardly a subject. I suppose that when a fairly well known couple split acrimoniously, the public at large have an interest. Our generally mundane lives lit large?
The vast majority of Kim’s book does cover her music with Sonic Youth and her art. That I liked the best as how music and art are made is always interesting to me. But the non-art side has to be very interesting to me, and Kim’s domestic life away from her art is standard fare.
My mea culpa is that I have never purchased a Sonic Youth recording. When they first came to my attention in the early 80s I was very interested in Sonic Youth, the dissonance of their style was an attraction. But when others around me were playing them, so my then rather stupid music snobbery took over, and I let everyone else buy the records. I spent my money on the more obscure and way Kooler Dunedin Sound bands.
Which brings me to that youthful desire to be Kool that Kim wrote about occasionally where she said she is fairly shy and also wrote a few other self-depreciating thoughts as to herself. All well and good, but it takes a lot to be in a rock and roll band and seek some form of fame if you are scared of not being Kool and claim to be a bit lacking in confidence. I suppose that some would say that this attempt at fame is also an attempt at overcoming that shyness, especially for girls attracted to the arts. Be that as it may, in my opinion it takes a need to get up and perform, so shyness should not have come into the discussion. Kim was not scared to get on and do her art and damn the critics and the consequences, good on her for that.
On Page 153 of my copy, Kim tells an interesting though not unique tale of the cover art for the Sonic Youth album, Sister. The cover originally included a Richard Avedon picture. He threatened to sue, so the image was blacked out. Basically the band's art world was about appropriation, so that was normally not an issue. I had to look up who Richard Avedon was. I must say he is a fantastic photographer. With that even if he was not a fan of the music, an image of his on the album cover would have been a………………………�.Kool Thing.
Recommended to Sonic Youth admirers and those that thought Richard Avedon made a mistake.
The vast majority of Kim’s book does cover her music with Sonic Youth and her art. That I liked the best as how music and art are made is always interesting to me. But the non-art side has to be very interesting to me, and Kim’s domestic life away from her art is standard fare.
My mea culpa is that I have never purchased a Sonic Youth recording. When they first came to my attention in the early 80s I was very interested in Sonic Youth, the dissonance of their style was an attraction. But when others around me were playing them, so my then rather stupid music snobbery took over, and I let everyone else buy the records. I spent my money on the more obscure and way Kooler Dunedin Sound bands.
Which brings me to that youthful desire to be Kool that Kim wrote about occasionally where she said she is fairly shy and also wrote a few other self-depreciating thoughts as to herself. All well and good, but it takes a lot to be in a rock and roll band and seek some form of fame if you are scared of not being Kool and claim to be a bit lacking in confidence. I suppose that some would say that this attempt at fame is also an attempt at overcoming that shyness, especially for girls attracted to the arts. Be that as it may, in my opinion it takes a need to get up and perform, so shyness should not have come into the discussion. Kim was not scared to get on and do her art and damn the critics and the consequences, good on her for that.
On Page 153 of my copy, Kim tells an interesting though not unique tale of the cover art for the Sonic Youth album, Sister. The cover originally included a Richard Avedon picture. He threatened to sue, so the image was blacked out. Basically the band's art world was about appropriation, so that was normally not an issue. I had to look up who Richard Avedon was. I must say he is a fantastic photographer. With that even if he was not a fan of the music, an image of his on the album cover would have been a………………………�.Kool Thing.
Recommended to Sonic Youth admirers and those that thought Richard Avedon made a mistake.
March 31, 2015
Didn't like this quite as much as I thought I would. Some weird tone problems, too much name-dropping (as opposed to more in-depth reflection), some randomly dropped-in feminist sloganeering that felt artificial, and holy moly, some really questionable decisions about the framing of the breakup of her marriage and band. I'm still totally Team Kim, but dang, some of it was really, really cringe-inducing.
June 6, 2018
This book has all the good, bad and ugly that previous reviewers have mentioned, but reading it so shortly after finishing Roxane Gay's Bad Feminist, I didn't find the philosophical ironies irritating, but more revealing and human. You can be a feminist and still dislike Courtney Love. How feminist is it to rag on her nose? Not very, but it was human moments like this that I found most engaging. This is a book that made me take notes on things to read and art to look at. I am amazed at Gordon's capacity for philosophical discourse, even if she doesn't always take her own advice.
The beginning was definitely difficult to read, as I'm sure it was difficult to write about the breakdown of a marriage while still working together and that anger comes through in several places. Her relationship with her brother dominates her childhood, leaving her with more...maybe not anger, but angst. Honestly, I was surprised that her brother became the focus of her development, while her parents seem to be only halfway there on the best of days. I'll stop with the armchair psychology and just say that this is an interesting and engaging read about Gordon's life and her art, whether or not you are a fan of Sonic Youth.
The beginning was definitely difficult to read, as I'm sure it was difficult to write about the breakdown of a marriage while still working together and that anger comes through in several places. Her relationship with her brother dominates her childhood, leaving her with more...maybe not anger, but angst. Honestly, I was surprised that her brother became the focus of her development, while her parents seem to be only halfway there on the best of days. I'll stop with the armchair psychology and just say that this is an interesting and engaging read about Gordon's life and her art, whether or not you are a fan of Sonic Youth.
January 24, 2016
First things first: Having recently read a few memoirs of women in music, I can confirm I'm reliably mystified/enchanted by (Read: a sucker for) some of the reverse-Pygmalion-like conventions of these stories. Specifically, an influential countercultural musician who claims at the outset to:
--Have had no actual musical training. I mean, we're talking "has barely held an instrument/what's an instrument?" territory. And then suddenly, is Just Playin' It Up at some point in the not too distant future, problem forgotten. (Maybe this is a possibility for more people out there than I realize; it's certainly befuddling to decidedly non-musical me.)
---Have severe stage fright. Like, a keep-my-back-to-the-audience level of fright.
--Have (self-professed) no singing ability, but devises some sort of workaround, like screaming passionately (at which the heretofore Unknown Amazing Voice soars out of nowhere), or perhaps chanting or talk-singing in a way that somehow magically transforms to greatness.
--Have (again, self-professed) absolutely no fashion sense or personal image, and no idea how to even conceptualize such a thing -- but again, by virtue of simply grabbing and donning whatever random clothing items are strewn about the dark, shabby railroad apartment, accidentally becomes a raging punk style icon.
--And professes to be one hundred percent completely naive of sex, drugs, etc. -- but just so happens to wind up nestled at the heart of a roaring, debauched, Warhol's Factory-esque scene (or literally, THE Factory scene). You know, shortly after moving to NYC. Because you just like, somehow fell in with/stumbled across these people.
...aaand, despite all these obstacles, and largely unaided by anyone, and hindered by many, and with absolutely no precedent -- the person described above morphs in short order, without really trying or caring, into a Punk Rock God(ess)!
Well, I suppose such a hyperbolic transformation is possible -- that's exactly what Being authentically Punk Rock, capital P capital R, means, right? And the not-trying/not-caring piece is an essential part of the myth... though I'd argue that even being open to the idea of performing in front of however many or few people would watch you DOES inherently involve some level of both trying and caring. Anyway -- even though I am bemused by some aspects of these stories, I truly appreciate them, and it's not a genre of story that I seem to tire of reading. This book fits this profile to some degree; thus, I generally enjoyed it, read it quickly, and recommend it to those who enjoy stories in this vein.
***
The book offers some other gems in addition to a peek at this transformative journey. The descriptions of pre-gentrified 1980s Manhattan are just as fascinating as everyone says, as are the descriptions of KG's nostalgic LA (including its darker side). I loved the glimpses of interactions with important musicians working in the 80s and 90s, though there were FAR too few of these in the book. I enjoyed learning about KG's father, a sociologist who was an influence on KG as well as a pioneering researcher in a topic area that's become extremely familiar in mainstream America and pop culture today. (I'll let you discover it.) KG herself comes across as very intelligent, analytical, and observant throughout. I also enjoyed her summaries of the history of underground music's evolution between the 1960s and 1990s. She's able to explain concisely why a particular artist's or movement's work was impactful, or what it upended/protested. Finally, though more photographs would have been useful, the text provides examples to demonstrate the breadth of KG's cultural output and vision: she is an accomplished artist not only in the medium of sound, but in pretty much every other medium including fashion design, film, dance, and visual and conceptual art, and she is also an author and critic.
***
BUT - despite these attributes, I enjoyed the book less overall than some others that I'd more wholeheartedly recommend, including , , and .
Why?--A few thoughts:
Although in many ways KG's story follows the mythological trajectory outlined above -- KG does not aggrandize herself in this book. Rather, she normalizes herself, almost to a faulty banality at times. At its best, this approach renders her relatable, real, likable, humanized. At its worst, she's a tired and frustrated multitasking college town mom who's feeling vulnerable and wounded after bring cheated on and abandoned by the man she Stood By. Right... but you are also still a ROCK GODDESS and ICONIC ART WORLD FIGURE, and I believe that counts for something!
I don't want to take away from KG the right to express the hurt and betrayal she experienced, and I don't want to invalidate or de-normalize her feelings. However, I was really distressed by the fact that her marital breakup is presented in a way that frames or bookends the entire rest-of-her-life story of becoming and being an unquestionably Important Woman in Art, Music, and Fashion. Bad organizational choice! After all, I'm sure Thurston Moore's memoir would probably focus on celebrating himself and omit any excessive focus on romantic drama that might overshadow his personal and artistic achievements.
In general, KG spends a decent amount of time talking about her problems with being codependent not only with Thurston, but also with men in romantic relationships throughout her life, despite the strength and feminist beliefs she was able to embody in other areas. She also speculates at length as to where these codependent tendencies came from: she seems traumatized by her relationship with her brother, who has severe mental illness and behaved abusively toward her when she was a child, but whose actions were seemingly unchecked by her parents, for a variety of reasons also speculated upon.
I'm not sure why she devotes so much time to all this, unless she wants to show that even the most human among us, of which she is but one, can still accomplish fearsomely awesome things? Unfortunately, the result, as others have observed, is that a romantic breakup is to some extent allowed to overshadow or undermine this amazing individual and her cultural legacy.
***
By contrast, the bio is more successful, and less conflicted, when its focus is less BEHIND the Music and more Behind the MUSIC. So, I'm one of those people who've understood SY's music as a thing worthy of respect, but I've never really much enjoyed listening to it. (Apologies to fans; I know many intense devotees of the band.) This book reinforced these thoughts and feelings: I "get it" more now as to why I should respect them, but I'm still not about to go 'round digging up their old recordings to give them a re-listen. Focusing on selected songs and albums, KG nicely summarizes what the band was trying to do in their overall project. By her account, the band took it all Very Seriously, and the whole endeavor is characterized as an intensely intellectual project, e.g. "this song was inspired by the work of French feminist philosopher Julia Kristeva, which we were all reading, and then we layered dissonant sounds over these ideas" (not an actual quote from the book, but just to give you an idea of the content). It's pretty interesting -- and yet, because it all seems SO SERIOUS and clinical, often like an outright lab experiment, there is little sense conveyed of playfulness, fun, spontaneity, passion, and especially enjoyment. (Which pretty much describes my feelings about listening to SY: It's often a grind.)
Nor is there much of a sense conveyed about the interpersonal dynamics between the band members during their three decades of teaming together to make all these sounds and noises. The band is pretty much described as A Unit: one is reminded of the alphabetized list of coauthors that follows the title of a scientific journal article. With this or any band, I think readers would have been more interested in hearing about all the transactions that occurred between artistic partners to actually create The Unit, and The Music. Overall, the effect achieved by the book is that SY should be thought of as a kind of impersonal or detached artist collective generating output in the medium of sound, that along the way got mistaken for a band, and then just went with it. Which again, may just be a biased opinion based on my experience of the band and how they sound to me.
***
A major criticism of the book that I'm seeing in these reviews is the accusation of relentless name dropping. Well, yes and no. It seems KG hung out with just about anyone who was anyone in a particular underground/experimental/countercultural art and music scene of late 1970s/1980s NYC. And yes, this results in pages that are peppered with largely unfamiliar names and thus read like an Academy Award Speech, or worse, an index. Now, KG is not bandying these names about in an effort to show off or be pretentious; that much seems clear. But nonetheless, the matter-of-fact listing of all these names with very little contextualization makes for some dull reading. I feel like this information could have been presented better.
Another criticism that I think should be debunked outright is that KG calls herself a feminist and yet picks on other women in the book. I didn't really pick up on this. She hardly says anything about Courtney Love, and what she does say is A) probably way more sympathetic than what most of us might say, and B) probably not even news to you, because pretty much the entirety of her Love-related comments have appeared in the excerpts published in advance of the book's release. Many of KG's negative feelings about Love stem from protective concern for Kurt Cobain, with whom KG had a close connection.
KG likewise makes some character assessments of the woman Thurston cheats with, but she bases these assessments not so much on the affair the woman has with Thurston (KG holds Thurston responsible for his own actions), but rather on a previous disastrous affair the same woman had with another SY band member, and which KG observed to be a harrowing experience. KG's characterization of this woman does not seem catty, any more than when KG characterizes art dealer Larry Gagosian as a jerk based on some cited examples of jerky behavior. KG also has lots of friendships with strong women, and she describes these throughout the book.
There IS the controversial matter of the weird, random, apropos-of-nothing criticism of Lana del Rey, but this is about 1.5 paragraphs that I also think have been misinterpreted to some degree, and are muddily worded, and the as-is inclusion of which probably constitutes editorial error more than anything else.
And finally, of course, there is the criticism that KG whines about her marriage breakup and plays the victim. As I've said, I don't think she exactly tries to portray herself as a victim, or to take unnecessary shots at Thurston; she is very factual in her reporting of how it all went down. But again, opening and closing her ENTIRE LIFE STORY with the account of her marriage dissolution was a very bad, and distracting, editorial choice. Certainly there could have been better, non-19th-century-novel-style ways to frame the life story of such an amazing woman.
--Have had no actual musical training. I mean, we're talking "has barely held an instrument/what's an instrument?" territory. And then suddenly, is Just Playin' It Up at some point in the not too distant future, problem forgotten. (Maybe this is a possibility for more people out there than I realize; it's certainly befuddling to decidedly non-musical me.)
---Have severe stage fright. Like, a keep-my-back-to-the-audience level of fright.
--Have (self-professed) no singing ability, but devises some sort of workaround, like screaming passionately (at which the heretofore Unknown Amazing Voice soars out of nowhere), or perhaps chanting or talk-singing in a way that somehow magically transforms to greatness.
--Have (again, self-professed) absolutely no fashion sense or personal image, and no idea how to even conceptualize such a thing -- but again, by virtue of simply grabbing and donning whatever random clothing items are strewn about the dark, shabby railroad apartment, accidentally becomes a raging punk style icon.
--And professes to be one hundred percent completely naive of sex, drugs, etc. -- but just so happens to wind up nestled at the heart of a roaring, debauched, Warhol's Factory-esque scene (or literally, THE Factory scene). You know, shortly after moving to NYC. Because you just like, somehow fell in with/stumbled across these people.
...aaand, despite all these obstacles, and largely unaided by anyone, and hindered by many, and with absolutely no precedent -- the person described above morphs in short order, without really trying or caring, into a Punk Rock God(ess)!
Well, I suppose such a hyperbolic transformation is possible -- that's exactly what Being authentically Punk Rock, capital P capital R, means, right? And the not-trying/not-caring piece is an essential part of the myth... though I'd argue that even being open to the idea of performing in front of however many or few people would watch you DOES inherently involve some level of both trying and caring. Anyway -- even though I am bemused by some aspects of these stories, I truly appreciate them, and it's not a genre of story that I seem to tire of reading. This book fits this profile to some degree; thus, I generally enjoyed it, read it quickly, and recommend it to those who enjoy stories in this vein.
***
The book offers some other gems in addition to a peek at this transformative journey. The descriptions of pre-gentrified 1980s Manhattan are just as fascinating as everyone says, as are the descriptions of KG's nostalgic LA (including its darker side). I loved the glimpses of interactions with important musicians working in the 80s and 90s, though there were FAR too few of these in the book. I enjoyed learning about KG's father, a sociologist who was an influence on KG as well as a pioneering researcher in a topic area that's become extremely familiar in mainstream America and pop culture today. (I'll let you discover it.) KG herself comes across as very intelligent, analytical, and observant throughout. I also enjoyed her summaries of the history of underground music's evolution between the 1960s and 1990s. She's able to explain concisely why a particular artist's or movement's work was impactful, or what it upended/protested. Finally, though more photographs would have been useful, the text provides examples to demonstrate the breadth of KG's cultural output and vision: she is an accomplished artist not only in the medium of sound, but in pretty much every other medium including fashion design, film, dance, and visual and conceptual art, and she is also an author and critic.
***
BUT - despite these attributes, I enjoyed the book less overall than some others that I'd more wholeheartedly recommend, including , , and .
Why?--A few thoughts:
Although in many ways KG's story follows the mythological trajectory outlined above -- KG does not aggrandize herself in this book. Rather, she normalizes herself, almost to a faulty banality at times. At its best, this approach renders her relatable, real, likable, humanized. At its worst, she's a tired and frustrated multitasking college town mom who's feeling vulnerable and wounded after bring cheated on and abandoned by the man she Stood By. Right... but you are also still a ROCK GODDESS and ICONIC ART WORLD FIGURE, and I believe that counts for something!
I don't want to take away from KG the right to express the hurt and betrayal she experienced, and I don't want to invalidate or de-normalize her feelings. However, I was really distressed by the fact that her marital breakup is presented in a way that frames or bookends the entire rest-of-her-life story of becoming and being an unquestionably Important Woman in Art, Music, and Fashion. Bad organizational choice! After all, I'm sure Thurston Moore's memoir would probably focus on celebrating himself and omit any excessive focus on romantic drama that might overshadow his personal and artistic achievements.
In general, KG spends a decent amount of time talking about her problems with being codependent not only with Thurston, but also with men in romantic relationships throughout her life, despite the strength and feminist beliefs she was able to embody in other areas. She also speculates at length as to where these codependent tendencies came from: she seems traumatized by her relationship with her brother, who has severe mental illness and behaved abusively toward her when she was a child, but whose actions were seemingly unchecked by her parents, for a variety of reasons also speculated upon.
I'm not sure why she devotes so much time to all this, unless she wants to show that even the most human among us, of which she is but one, can still accomplish fearsomely awesome things? Unfortunately, the result, as others have observed, is that a romantic breakup is to some extent allowed to overshadow or undermine this amazing individual and her cultural legacy.
***
By contrast, the bio is more successful, and less conflicted, when its focus is less BEHIND the Music and more Behind the MUSIC. So, I'm one of those people who've understood SY's music as a thing worthy of respect, but I've never really much enjoyed listening to it. (Apologies to fans; I know many intense devotees of the band.) This book reinforced these thoughts and feelings: I "get it" more now as to why I should respect them, but I'm still not about to go 'round digging up their old recordings to give them a re-listen. Focusing on selected songs and albums, KG nicely summarizes what the band was trying to do in their overall project. By her account, the band took it all Very Seriously, and the whole endeavor is characterized as an intensely intellectual project, e.g. "this song was inspired by the work of French feminist philosopher Julia Kristeva, which we were all reading, and then we layered dissonant sounds over these ideas" (not an actual quote from the book, but just to give you an idea of the content). It's pretty interesting -- and yet, because it all seems SO SERIOUS and clinical, often like an outright lab experiment, there is little sense conveyed of playfulness, fun, spontaneity, passion, and especially enjoyment. (Which pretty much describes my feelings about listening to SY: It's often a grind.)
Nor is there much of a sense conveyed about the interpersonal dynamics between the band members during their three decades of teaming together to make all these sounds and noises. The band is pretty much described as A Unit: one is reminded of the alphabetized list of coauthors that follows the title of a scientific journal article. With this or any band, I think readers would have been more interested in hearing about all the transactions that occurred between artistic partners to actually create The Unit, and The Music. Overall, the effect achieved by the book is that SY should be thought of as a kind of impersonal or detached artist collective generating output in the medium of sound, that along the way got mistaken for a band, and then just went with it. Which again, may just be a biased opinion based on my experience of the band and how they sound to me.
***
A major criticism of the book that I'm seeing in these reviews is the accusation of relentless name dropping. Well, yes and no. It seems KG hung out with just about anyone who was anyone in a particular underground/experimental/countercultural art and music scene of late 1970s/1980s NYC. And yes, this results in pages that are peppered with largely unfamiliar names and thus read like an Academy Award Speech, or worse, an index. Now, KG is not bandying these names about in an effort to show off or be pretentious; that much seems clear. But nonetheless, the matter-of-fact listing of all these names with very little contextualization makes for some dull reading. I feel like this information could have been presented better.
Another criticism that I think should be debunked outright is that KG calls herself a feminist and yet picks on other women in the book. I didn't really pick up on this. She hardly says anything about Courtney Love, and what she does say is A) probably way more sympathetic than what most of us might say, and B) probably not even news to you, because pretty much the entirety of her Love-related comments have appeared in the excerpts published in advance of the book's release. Many of KG's negative feelings about Love stem from protective concern for Kurt Cobain, with whom KG had a close connection.
KG likewise makes some character assessments of the woman Thurston cheats with, but she bases these assessments not so much on the affair the woman has with Thurston (KG holds Thurston responsible for his own actions), but rather on a previous disastrous affair the same woman had with another SY band member, and which KG observed to be a harrowing experience. KG's characterization of this woman does not seem catty, any more than when KG characterizes art dealer Larry Gagosian as a jerk based on some cited examples of jerky behavior. KG also has lots of friendships with strong women, and she describes these throughout the book.
There IS the controversial matter of the weird, random, apropos-of-nothing criticism of Lana del Rey, but this is about 1.5 paragraphs that I also think have been misinterpreted to some degree, and are muddily worded, and the as-is inclusion of which probably constitutes editorial error more than anything else.
And finally, of course, there is the criticism that KG whines about her marriage breakup and plays the victim. As I've said, I don't think she exactly tries to portray herself as a victim, or to take unnecessary shots at Thurston; she is very factual in her reporting of how it all went down. But again, opening and closing her ENTIRE LIFE STORY with the account of her marriage dissolution was a very bad, and distracting, editorial choice. Certainly there could have been better, non-19th-century-novel-style ways to frame the life story of such an amazing woman.
July 28, 2015
COULD NOT BE MORE EXCITED.
- - -
Edit: Ok, now I've read. I savored! This book was everything I hoped for and sometimes more and sometimes less.
That it was just a little bit flawed makes it feel more intimate a portrayal.
Kim Gordon is an icon of counter-culture. I looked up to her when I was a teen, and she's one of few people I looked up to *then* that I can say I still do *now*. She has a whip smart internal compass that has guided her through decades of style and dozens of interesting experiments, projects, and expressions beyond Sonic Youth.
I find it incredibly inspiring the way she -- as a musician, performer, and now author -- finds a balance in the spectator-performer relationship and can write about both sides so eloquently. She's an introvert who gets on stage, designs stuff, does stuff. This is interesting to me.
There are brilliant passages throughout this book, passages where I wrote down quotes or re-read and re-read just to ruminate on her often brilliant theories.
There is also a *lot* of namedropping. Some of it, totally expected. Ever so occasionally, it seemed self-conscious and gratuitous and distracting.
Read it if you love Sonic Youth or love Kim Gordon or even if you loved Patti Smith's Just Kids, but it might be harder to digest if you aren't catching all the references, i.e. if you don't know Free Kitten, Mike Kelly, etc.
- - -
Edit: Ok, now I've read. I savored! This book was everything I hoped for and sometimes more and sometimes less.
That it was just a little bit flawed makes it feel more intimate a portrayal.
Kim Gordon is an icon of counter-culture. I looked up to her when I was a teen, and she's one of few people I looked up to *then* that I can say I still do *now*. She has a whip smart internal compass that has guided her through decades of style and dozens of interesting experiments, projects, and expressions beyond Sonic Youth.
I find it incredibly inspiring the way she -- as a musician, performer, and now author -- finds a balance in the spectator-performer relationship and can write about both sides so eloquently. She's an introvert who gets on stage, designs stuff, does stuff. This is interesting to me.
There are brilliant passages throughout this book, passages where I wrote down quotes or re-read and re-read just to ruminate on her often brilliant theories.
There is also a *lot* of namedropping. Some of it, totally expected. Ever so occasionally, it seemed self-conscious and gratuitous and distracting.
Read it if you love Sonic Youth or love Kim Gordon or even if you loved Patti Smith's Just Kids, but it might be harder to digest if you aren't catching all the references, i.e. if you don't know Free Kitten, Mike Kelly, etc.
April 17, 2015
Thurston Moore is a narcissist, New York City used to be cool but now is all Pret A Mangers, and here's a bunch of art dealers you're not cool enough to know.
There, you've read the book. It's amazing how uninteresting an incredibly interesting life can be.
There, you've read the book. It's amazing how uninteresting an incredibly interesting life can be.
June 2, 2015
Having read several lukewarm reviews by fellow Sonic Youth fans, I was prepared to be underwhelmed by this book.
I was not prepared for how amazing it was and how it's been haunting me since I finished it.
I have long admired Kim for her toughness and her talent. Sonic Youth, particularly Kim's singing, made me feel bold and empowered at a time when I was neither and they have a special place in my heart.
This memoir is moody and atmospheric, as you'd expect it might be. It's artsy, it's nostalgic, it's completely real. I heard Kim on Fresh Air recently, so her voice and speaking style are fresh in my mind, I could imagine every word of this book being spoken by her, I felt like I was sitting with her hearing the story of her life (and I understand that that is exactly what the audiobook is). It was an intimate and honest look at herself and I wish I could experience it all over again.
Which means I may need to get the audiobook eventually....
The description of their last show and the pain she was feeling was incredibly raw, I've been hearing "Brave Men Run" in my head for two days, feeling chills, imagining how her heart must have been breaking on that rainy South American stage.
The only thing "wrong" with this book is that her hurt is so fresh, it just bleeds off the page, and I wish, if only for her sake, that she'd waited another year or so to write this, until she had some perspective and maybe her emotions had healed a little bit.
But hey, bleeding all over your stage is the punk rock thing to do.
Thank you, Kim.
I was not prepared for how amazing it was and how it's been haunting me since I finished it.
I have long admired Kim for her toughness and her talent. Sonic Youth, particularly Kim's singing, made me feel bold and empowered at a time when I was neither and they have a special place in my heart.
This memoir is moody and atmospheric, as you'd expect it might be. It's artsy, it's nostalgic, it's completely real. I heard Kim on Fresh Air recently, so her voice and speaking style are fresh in my mind, I could imagine every word of this book being spoken by her, I felt like I was sitting with her hearing the story of her life (and I understand that that is exactly what the audiobook is). It was an intimate and honest look at herself and I wish I could experience it all over again.
Which means I may need to get the audiobook eventually....
The description of their last show and the pain she was feeling was incredibly raw, I've been hearing "Brave Men Run" in my head for two days, feeling chills, imagining how her heart must have been breaking on that rainy South American stage.
The only thing "wrong" with this book is that her hurt is so fresh, it just bleeds off the page, and I wish, if only for her sake, that she'd waited another year or so to write this, until she had some perspective and maybe her emotions had healed a little bit.
But hey, bleeding all over your stage is the punk rock thing to do.
Thank you, Kim.
August 16, 2019
In the first half I was ready to give this memoir 5 stars. I found it extremely well written, easy to read and very engaging. In the second half my enthusiasm talented off somewhat.
I’m a casual Sonic Youth listener. I own a few of their records, but always thought there were a bit too “cool� for me (always makes me think of the cool kinds in Daria) even though I adore some songs. I saw them live at a festival a decade ago and it was one of the best music sets I’ve ever seen. They sounded incredible and I couldn’t get over how beautiful they seemed as a band unit. Anyway, long story short: I’m not a real fan, and I probably wouldn’t have bought this book myself.
At times this book is very emotive and honest, at other times I was put off by her superficiality - not so much in writing but in her thinking. The oddest part to me was how much she dissed Courtney Love. I’m sure her take on Courtney Love is correct, but it just came across as very bitter. Especially coupled with her declarations of love for Kurt Cobain. It’s just all a bit Much “this cray bitch corrupted a gentle soul�...
Still, it was a really engaging story.
I’m a casual Sonic Youth listener. I own a few of their records, but always thought there were a bit too “cool� for me (always makes me think of the cool kinds in Daria) even though I adore some songs. I saw them live at a festival a decade ago and it was one of the best music sets I’ve ever seen. They sounded incredible and I couldn’t get over how beautiful they seemed as a band unit. Anyway, long story short: I’m not a real fan, and I probably wouldn’t have bought this book myself.
At times this book is very emotive and honest, at other times I was put off by her superficiality - not so much in writing but in her thinking. The oddest part to me was how much she dissed Courtney Love. I’m sure her take on Courtney Love is correct, but it just came across as very bitter. Especially coupled with her declarations of love for Kurt Cobain. It’s just all a bit Much “this cray bitch corrupted a gentle soul�...
Still, it was a really engaging story.
March 9, 2022
“Overcome by my own hypersensitivity, I had no choice but to turn fearless.�
Sonic Youth has gotten me through a lot of hard times when I was younger. When I didn't know where I belonged in this world, Kim's words hit me hard and I felt as if I had found my home. She will always hold a special place in my heart and she is a complete badass.
Kim shares personal details about her life growing up on both coasts of the country and finally making her way back to the East. Finding her bearings in this male-dominated world and sticking it to them. Telling the world that women can rock just as hard as men can. Then she shows us the darker side of being married to a rock star who thinks he is better than everyone else. It was eye-opening and extremely moving. I just love her words.
Girl in a Band was pretty good and I enjoyed what Kim had to say. I didn't realize all the things she did for the music community and I love her even more after reading this. I hope she writes more because I know she has a lot more to say and I can't wait to read them.
Sonic Youth has gotten me through a lot of hard times when I was younger. When I didn't know where I belonged in this world, Kim's words hit me hard and I felt as if I had found my home. She will always hold a special place in my heart and she is a complete badass.
Kim shares personal details about her life growing up on both coasts of the country and finally making her way back to the East. Finding her bearings in this male-dominated world and sticking it to them. Telling the world that women can rock just as hard as men can. Then she shows us the darker side of being married to a rock star who thinks he is better than everyone else. It was eye-opening and extremely moving. I just love her words.
Girl in a Band was pretty good and I enjoyed what Kim had to say. I didn't realize all the things she did for the music community and I love her even more after reading this. I hope she writes more because I know she has a lot more to say and I can't wait to read them.
September 28, 2019
I was put off by the opening being about Thurston Moore at first, though she has every reason to be angry, because I knew enough about Kim Gordon to want to hear about her multifaceted career from the top, I realized others might feel as if they were waiting to hear what happened to that iconic relationship and not fully experience her remarkable story as an artist had she chosen not to put it out there right off. I loved this bio enough to want to go purchase the audio book to hear all over again about my favorite time in the development of contemporary art and music through the eyes of a compelling talent.
Favorite line: "Sometimes in a band it can feel as though you're together because you collectively suffer from a psychological disease none of you can name or acknowledge."
Favorite line: "Sometimes in a band it can feel as though you're together because you collectively suffer from a psychological disease none of you can name or acknowledge."
January 18, 2016
I couldn't even make it to the good stuff. I was so utterly bored by one of the most fascinating lives ever lived. Kim needed a better editor. I bet the audio book would be worthwhile. Book is just name droppy boring writing. Really had higher expectations for this.
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