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368 pages, Paperback
First published September 20, 2016
This is how I kill someone.
And I don’t feel bad about it.
I’m living my life waiting for the man who comes for me like one did for Anna, with hungry eyes behind the wheel and rope in the trunk.
I’m ready.
"You shouldn't be that way about her," Alex says. "I hear what people say and I bet half of it isn't even true. And even if it is - fine. She's no different from you and me; she wants to have sex. So let her…She likes boys, and she can get them. You were hurt by that, but it wasn't Branley who hurt you. It was Adam."
This is how I kill someone.
I learn his habits, I know his schedule. It is not difficult. His life consists of quick stops to the dollar store for the bare minimum of things required to keep this ragged cycle going, his hat pulled down over his eyes so as not to be recognized.
The books didn't help me find a word for myself; my father refused to accept the weight of it. And so I made my own.
I am vengeance.
This story has so many things going for it. I love the author's writing. You feel every little thing these kids go through. Even the few times the parents are in the book. All of these kids learn to be friends in one sense or another. I love that they can put all of the things aside and just be friends.
I love that Alex is so tough and never backs down from taking up for her friends. For someone that never really had any, she's a damn great one to have. Peekay thought so too.No, I didn't know. Everyone else wants to talk about the Alex who tore Ray Parson's nose off when he tried to hurt me, the Alex who tortured the man who killed her sister, the Alex who burned a child molester alive and blew a rapist away with a shotgun blast. Nobody wants to talk about the girl who held kittens in the palm of her hand, humming to them while they fed, or the girl who would pick fleas off a dog for hours. Because nobody knew her.
Anna told me I would understand about boys one day. She said that everything would change and I would look at them differently, assess their bodies and their words, the way their eyes moved when they talked to me. She said I'd not only want to answer them, but I'd learn how, knowing which words to use, how to give meaning with a pause.
Then a man took her.
A man took her before I learned any of these things. He took her and kept her for a while, put things inside of her. Of course the obvious thing, but also some others, like he was curious if they'd fit. Then he got bored. Then he got creative.
Then my sister was gone and I thought: I understand about boys now.
And she was right. Everything did change. I look at them differently and I assess their bodies and watch their eyes and weigh their words.
But not in the way she meant.
I wish I could tell you all about this book and how it’s intense and heartbreaking, but I’m still in a daze and my heart isn’t quite ready to process it all.
� You can find my full review ! �
“Bܳ boys will be boys, our favorite phrase that excuses so many things, while the only thing we have for the opposite gender is women, said with disdain and punctuated with an eye roll.�
Everyone thinks if you fix a male dog it will lower his aggression, but most of the biters are female. It’s basic instinct to protect their womb. You see it in all animals - the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
Let her know that Anna was on the minds of everyone today. Something that rightfully belongs to only us resurrected once again as a cautionary fairy tale, a warning to all of the Little Red Riding Hoods that there are wolves in the forest.
Because there are others like him still. Tonight they used words they know, words that don't bother people anymore. They said bitch. They told another girl they would put their dicks in her mouth. No one protested because this is our language now.
In every species, the female of the species is more deadly...
Anger makes you tired, but guilt keeps you from falling asleep.