What do you think?
Rate this book
Toast on Toast: Cautionary Tales and Candid Advice
Toast on Toast is the must-have book for all budding actors—and non-actors too. In this part memoir, part "how to act" manual, Steven Toast draws on his vast and varied experiences, providing the reader with an invaluable insight into his journey from school plays to RADA, and from "It's a Right Royal Knockout" to the Colony Club. Toast on Toast contains all the surreal humor of the TV show.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published April 1, 2016
31 people are currently reading
483 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 177 reviews
January 5, 2018
The recording quality of the audiobook version was not very good. I blame that idiot Clem Fandango.
October 4, 2018
As soon as I discovered that the wonderful had penned a book offering "cautionary tales and candid advice" I was in "like Flynn". I'm a huge admirer of the great man and felt convinced that my life would be enhanced by listening to his words of wisdom. How right I was.
Anyone who has enjoyed on TV will almost certainly enjoy this book too. Anyone who has yet to come across may be a little confused.
Toast is the best comedic creation since Alan Partridge. Absolute genius. Anyone who thinks they deserve to be more respected is always funny. And, if you're going to acquire this then it really should be the audiobook, if only for Toast's absurd pronunciation.
Essential listening/reading for any Toast fan, it's just as funny as the TV series. My only complaint is that it's a tad short. Hopefully a second volume will follow.
Don't believe me? Perhaps Mews Frumpty can convince you... "A dead cert to win the Booker, Samuel Johnson and Pulitzer". Seconded.
Anyone who has enjoyed on TV will almost certainly enjoy this book too. Anyone who has yet to come across may be a little confused.
Toast is the best comedic creation since Alan Partridge. Absolute genius. Anyone who thinks they deserve to be more respected is always funny. And, if you're going to acquire this then it really should be the audiobook, if only for Toast's absurd pronunciation.
Essential listening/reading for any Toast fan, it's just as funny as the TV series. My only complaint is that it's a tad short. Hopefully a second volume will follow.
Don't believe me? Perhaps Mews Frumpty can convince you... "A dead cert to win the Booker, Samuel Johnson and Pulitzer". Seconded.
October 14, 2019
This is a great little read if you are a fan of the TV programme, Toast of London, starring Matt Berry as the title character, Steven Toast. He is a pretentious thespian who sees himself as some classic Shakespearean actor, but ends up doing voice over work and cheesy shows that he feels are beneath him and constantly falls out with whomever ends up having the misfortune of acting alongside him. He already seems like a classic sitcom character and anyone who likes British style comedy of an alternative and slightly quirky style, will love the programme and this book and its an easy, fun read with quite a few laughs for those familiar with this great modern show...lovely stuff!
January 6, 2023
I have no idea what the fuck this was that I listened to. I love Matt Berry (the man who is Steven Toast), and I love Steven Toast, and I got a smattering of the laughs I expected, but this "autobiography" of was too meta for its own good. I liked it, I giggled, but I couldn't love it. I'm just waiting for Toast of Tinseltown to come into my sphere of influence, so that I can fully enjoy me some Clem Fandango once again.
January 13, 2016
Need the audiobook!
April 6, 2022
3.5 stars. Hilarious way to spend an afternoon. Audiobook is just essential for consuming this at its best. I guess it’s a pretty niche read, the autobiography of a fictional z-list British thespian. Just absurd enough that it could all be real. Sometimes it did steer a little too far into the mundane, but maybe that was all part of the satire or maybe the references were going over my head. RADA chapter was comedic gold. Really enjoyed it, not sure who I could recommend this to, but it was very funny.
November 28, 2020
At times hilarious. This is the guidebook to acting told through the lens and ridiculous memories of Matt Berry's Stephen Toast.
I can't imagine reading the book of this. The audiobook is of course enhanced by Berry's ridiculous voice acting and OTT emphasis on words. This is where half the hilarity is. The other half is the ridiculous names he comes up with for characters he has met along the way.
I can't imagine reading the book of this. The audiobook is of course enhanced by Berry's ridiculous voice acting and OTT emphasis on words. This is where half the hilarity is. The other half is the ridiculous names he comes up with for characters he has met along the way.
March 30, 2020
Matt Berry as his best: Steven Toast. I suggest the audible book, as it's read by Matt Berry as Toast. If you liked the tv show, you'll like the book too!
His odd acting lessons are done with such confidence in spite of the fact that Toast has trouble acting in anything. Quality humour.
His odd acting lessons are done with such confidence in spite of the fact that Toast has trouble acting in anything. Quality humour.
August 30, 2024
Hilarious. Of course. Bloody hilarious.
January 22, 2022
General Toast-stupidity. It was a fun listen with the hubs on a lazy Saturday afternoon.
February 1, 2018
I arrived to the interview late and Steven was already there. In other words, Toast just popped up.
Although it was early in the morning, we started drinking. "A toast to butter days," he said, somewhat seedily. Steven couldn't hold this alcohol very well. "I loaf you. Let me place a bun in your oven," he said in a waffling, self-loaving manner.
When pressed about his rise to fame, Steven mentioned his toastmodern approach, which, in effect, was a pretty grainy and slightly crumby approach. Although Steven did admit that this approach did make him some dough.
I was close to leaven him there by himself, but crumb to think of it, I'd hate to toastpone the inevitable. It was the yeast I could do.
"I knead you to understanding this," I said to him, trying to reign in the conversation. Thinking that I was on a roll, I also added, Crust me, I'm a doctor.
"You're well bread," Steven observed, "very much in the mold of my brother French Toast."
"Did you see him often," I asked?
"Rye do you ask? Steven responded. "Anyway, he's in a butter place now."
No doubt about it, something in the interview process went a rye.
And so another mistake was asking Steven if other people ever made fun of his last name?
He responded with a barrage of terrible jokes, which I took to mean Yes:
Q: What is my favorite Beatles song? A: "Loaf is all you knead."
Q: Why doesn't bread like warm weather? A: Things get Toasty!
Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? A: Doughnuts!
Q: Why was I in a panic? A: I was in a loaf or death situation.
Q: What do I give women on special occasions? A: Flours
Q: Why did I break up with margarine? A: For a butter lover.
Q: What do you call a flying bagel? A: A plain bagel.
No matter how you slice it, we were loafing around. Which hurt, since hard work had been ingrained within me since an early age.
"What an inbread, I thought aloud. "And what a crepe, I secretly intoned.
And who is this Clem Fandango anyway?
Although it was early in the morning, we started drinking. "A toast to butter days," he said, somewhat seedily. Steven couldn't hold this alcohol very well. "I loaf you. Let me place a bun in your oven," he said in a waffling, self-loaving manner.
When pressed about his rise to fame, Steven mentioned his toastmodern approach, which, in effect, was a pretty grainy and slightly crumby approach. Although Steven did admit that this approach did make him some dough.
I was close to leaven him there by himself, but crumb to think of it, I'd hate to toastpone the inevitable. It was the yeast I could do.
"I knead you to understanding this," I said to him, trying to reign in the conversation. Thinking that I was on a roll, I also added, Crust me, I'm a doctor.
"You're well bread," Steven observed, "very much in the mold of my brother French Toast."
"Did you see him often," I asked?
"Rye do you ask? Steven responded. "Anyway, he's in a butter place now."
No doubt about it, something in the interview process went a rye.
And so another mistake was asking Steven if other people ever made fun of his last name?
He responded with a barrage of terrible jokes, which I took to mean Yes:
Q: What is my favorite Beatles song? A: "Loaf is all you knead."
Q: Why doesn't bread like warm weather? A: Things get Toasty!
Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? A: Doughnuts!
Q: Why was I in a panic? A: I was in a loaf or death situation.
Q: What do I give women on special occasions? A: Flours
Q: Why did I break up with margarine? A: For a butter lover.
Q: What do you call a flying bagel? A: A plain bagel.
No matter how you slice it, we were loafing around. Which hurt, since hard work had been ingrained within me since an early age.
"What an inbread, I thought aloud. "And what a crepe, I secretly intoned.
And who is this Clem Fandango anyway?
January 12, 2023
I could listen to Matt Berry read the phone book.
July 24, 2020
I mean this is just pure entertainment. Especially if you listen to the audiobook version. Of course you’d have to be familiar with the character from Matt Berry’s “Toast of London� otherwise it will make no sense. It still makes little sense and isn’t even about making much sense to begin with. But you’re guaranteed to laugh and have a good time if you enjoy Steven Toast’s straight up craziness.
February 10, 2024
My only complaint is how short it is—I would have happily listened to several more hours worth. I absolutely can’t believe I’ve lived this long without knowledge of The Grand Knockout/Royal It’s A Knockout. I thought the cast list he was reading was made up! Please record more audiobooks, Matt Berry.
October 22, 2019
I listened to the audiobook version of this that I highly recommend. There were several moments when I laughed out loud and even gave myself hiccups at one point. It’s completely stupid but super fun to listen to. If you’re a fan of the tv show I highly recommend giving this a listen.
July 4, 2022
3.5 stars
I have never been able to get into Toast of London but I thought I would give this a try.
It was very silly.
I did laugh out loud a few times, especially at his pronunciation.
And the burps� a very different audiobook experience to what I am used to.
I have never been able to get into Toast of London but I thought I would give this a try.
It was very silly.
I did laugh out loud a few times, especially at his pronunciation.
And the burps� a very different audiobook experience to what I am used to.
September 12, 2024
A fun book with interesting advice from the one and only Steven Toast. I think I'd take some of the advice with a pinch of salt. Listened on Audiobook read by the man himself, although I couldn't hear Clem Fandango?
August 10, 2020
Hilarious, laughed out loud a good few times and you can't help reading it in Matt Berry's voice in your head
February 19, 2023
I recently finished the four seasons of television featuring Matt Berry as Steven Toast. When I saw this book existed, I was excited to get some more Steven Toast ridiculousness. I was not disappointed.
June 21, 2023
matt berry is unhinged, and this is wonderful
January 2, 2025
Short, sharp and hilarious.. providing you understand the character!
Wrong in so many ways but incredibly entertaining.
Wrong in so many ways but incredibly entertaining.
January 14, 2022
If you watched “Toast of London� in the UK or on Netflix then you know Steven Toast is one of Matt Berry’s more bombastic characters. When I heard Toast of London was removed from Netflix, I found this little gem to help me out. Matt Berry plays all his characters to their upmost ridiculous edges, so the whole audiobook reflects that, from its invocation of “Steven, this is Clem Fandango. Can you hear me?� to its cheap sound booth quality and lack of audio editing. It’s a few hours of comedy, listening to Toast’s tirades against rival Ray Purchase, Pret a Manger, and BBC documentary historians with his abundance of pompous mispronunciations, and it leaves you with no doubt why Clem Fandango had so much fun with this guy in the recording studio.
September 22, 2021
So much funnier than it had any right to be. I listened to this on my walk to and from work and never failed to laugh out loud repeatedly during each listen. The audiobook is an absolute must.
Read
October 5, 2022why don't you listen to a silly book read by matt berry and maybe you will calm down
July 9, 2024
The biggest delight of this was of course Matt Berry's audio performance. His Yorkshire accent had me cracking up! Content-wise, it was fine, although I found some of the sex stuff unnecessarily offputting, particularly in the first chapter.
August 16, 2024
Stereotypical, offensive caricatures predominate in this cack-handed, abysmal travesty. One has to try very hard to recall a worse book - so exactly what you’d expect from Steven Toast.
December 8, 2021
The funniest thing I have read in a long time. A fake auto-biography from the annoying hack thespian character played by Matt Berry in Toast of London. His ego knows no bounds in this hilarious send-up of an actors narcissistic remeberances of his own self-important career.
August 6, 2024
Toast on Toast is a spoof book about acting and the performing arts. Still, for anyone who has worked with actors, been an actor, has been related to an actor, or sat through a mediocre performance in a small theatre, there is bound to be something here to relate to.
Steven Toast is the comedy creation of Matt Berry, and the book is co-written by Berry and Arthur Matthews, who co-wrote such comedy classics as Father Ted, so we know that we are in safe hands. Steven Toast is a man of a big ego, but not too much talent, so his is a tale of accidents, of dreams, not coming true of jobs going to younger, or better-known faces, of vanity projects taking off, of niche theatre that other talents who cared more for their careers would not even contemplate.
As well as fictional characters, figures from the BBC, ITV, and throughout the worlds of light and serious entertainment feature heavily, although if this were a serious autobiography of a prominent cultural figure, it would keep a lot of lawyers very busy for a very long time.
Throughout the book, there are many Theatre posters, that are both amusing, but believable, using the poster designs and typefaces that were popular at the time, and the career advice that Toast offers throughout the book is also delivered seriously, but are no more than common sense attitudes to everyday life.
The life of the actor, including successful ones is one of anxiously waiting for the phone to ring, of checking to see who got the job that you didn’t, and all of this is shown throughout the book. Although the story is not told chronologically it has its sense of forward momentum and spirit, and it is a look at all of the careers that could have been, or might have been if fate had been looking in a different direction.
January 9, 2016
Having been a massive fan of the t.v. programme for all 3 series it was only natural I was going to jump at the chance of buying this book, having already read the sample first chapter 3 times while I was waiting for my delivery I was able to skip that and jump straight into the Chapter 2.
This book doesn't disappoint although it might help to already have some background knowledge on Steven Toast before you start reading this, it is hilariously funny and you find your self reading it in Toasts voice but the thing I like most are the little things you see in the series that are explained fully in the book, like Frank Forfolk for example, you know the one who wrote that book "Forfolks Sake" in the series, and the other thing I love are the character names, so pleasing. So all in all my only worry is that I can't put this down and I will end up finishing it too quickly, it is one of those books that you never want to end or start wishing they might follow up with others, a whole collection of Toast would look wonderful on my bookshelf.
This book doesn't disappoint although it might help to already have some background knowledge on Steven Toast before you start reading this, it is hilariously funny and you find your self reading it in Toasts voice but the thing I like most are the little things you see in the series that are explained fully in the book, like Frank Forfolk for example, you know the one who wrote that book "Forfolks Sake" in the series, and the other thing I love are the character names, so pleasing. So all in all my only worry is that I can't put this down and I will end up finishing it too quickly, it is one of those books that you never want to end or start wishing they might follow up with others, a whole collection of Toast would look wonderful on my bookshelf.
July 22, 2019
A parody of celebrity memoirs that unpacks backstories for several elements of "Toast of London." Strictly for fans of the show, but the audiobook earns the title an extra star for Matt Berry's vocal performance, which is a nice extension of the character as he belches and has a drink or two on the way through the book.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 177 reviews
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get help and learn more about the design.