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307 pages, Paperback
First published January 12, 2017
“I want the world, I think. Even if it scares me.�
“I decide this is just A Bad Day. We all get them, because grief doesn't care how many years it's been.�
“Extroverts can be shy, introverts can be bold, and a condition like anxiety can strike whatever kind of social animal you are.�
“Little victories are everything in a world where worst-case scenarios are on an endless loop in your head.�
Here are three separate but similar things: shyness, introversion and social anxiety. You can be one, two or all three of these things simultaneously. A lot of the time people think they’re all the same thing, but that’s just not true. Extroverts can be shy, introverts can be bold and a condition like anxiety can strike whatever kind of social animal you are.
Here’s the thing about anxiety: it’s not rational. It’s not rational, but it’s still real, and it’s still scary, and that’s OK.
“Sometimes I don’t feel strong enough for this world.�
“Neither do I,� I say. “But we can be soft together.�
Audio book source: Audible
Story Rating: 4 stars
Narrators: Lauren Irwin
Narration Rating:4 stars
Genre: YA Romance
Length: 9h 50m
“My name is Steffi Brons and I don’t speak, let alone yell. I move slowly so people won’t notice I’m there, because running in public is as loud as a shout. I like to wear jumpers with long sleeves that go right down over my wrists and hands and fingers. Meekness is my camouflage; silence is my force field.�
“Panic attacks are a lot like being drunk in some ways: you lose self-control. You cry for seemingly no reason. You deal with the hangover long into the next day.�
“Lots of people are shy. Shy is normal. A bit of anxiety is normal. Throw the two together, add some brain-signal error - a NO ENTRY sign on the neural highway from my brain to my mouth perhaps, though no one really knows - and you have me.�
I shake my head. “Panic attacks aren’t supposed to happen.� I say. “I’m on medication. I’m happy. They are meant to go away now.�
“Steffi,� Jane [the therapist] says, still gentle, still calm. “You know that’s not how it works.�
“W Դdz?�
“Because anxiety doesn’t care if you’re happy or not. And if you tell yourself that you’re not allowed to have panic attacks because you’re ‘meant to be happy�, it will only make you feel worse.�
“Sometimes I don’t feel strong enough for this world.�
“Neither do I,� I say. “But we can be soft together.�
“Little victories are everything in a world where worst-case scenarios are on an endless loop in your head.�
With lightning, you're never really sure if that's what it was; it's just a flash. Thunder, you know. You feel it.
Here are three separate but similar things: shyness, introversion and social anxiety. You can have one, two or all three of these things simultaneously. A lot of the time people thing they're all the same thing, but that's just not true. Extroverts can be shy, introverts can be bold, and a condition like anxiety can strike whatever kind of social animal you are.
Lots of people are shy. Shy is normal. A bit of anxiety is normal. Throw the two together, add some brain-signal error - a NO ENTRY sign on the neural highway from my brain to my mouth perhaps, though no one really knows - and you have me.
I want the world, I think. Even if it scares me.