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385 pages, Hardcover
First published May 30, 2017
She drew so many monsters that she became a monster herself.
It’s stupid because that’s what I like about the internet—that it gives you time to think about what you want to say before you say it.
There is a small monster in my brain that controls my doubt.
The doubt itself is a stupid thing, without sense or feeling, blind and straining at the end of a long chain. The monster, though, is smart. It’s always watching, and when I am completely sure of myself, it unchains the doubt and lets it run wild. Even when I know it’s coming, I can’t stop it.
Creating art is a lonely task, which is why we introverts revel in it, but when we have fans looming over us, it becomes loneliness of a different sort. We become caged animals watched by zoo-goers, expected to perform lest the crowd grow bored or angry. It’s not always bad. Sometimes we do well, and the cage feels more like a pedestal.
I do have friends. Maybe they live hundreds of miles away from me, and maybe I can only talk to them through a screen, but they're still my friends. They don't just hold Monstrous Sea together. They hold me together.
Max and Emmy are the reason any of this exists.
“You found me in a constellation.�
� Francesca Zappia, Eliza and Her Monsters
I understand that it's a teenage thing to say parents don't get it, but they don't get it. It's not their fault they were born two and a half decades before me, but would it kill the to ask me what I'm doing on the phone before they assume it's something pointless?This is maybe one of the best contemporaries I've ever read. I mean, I read it in three sittings within the same five hours. Francesca Zappia: you're doing amazing, sweetie.
What good is a career that makes you money if you hate yourself every day you do it?This book is about how teenagers get dismissed. Let me explain. Teens are vehicles for drama rather than being real people. Our feelings aren't feelings - they're drama, or teen angst. But what's the real difference when both of us are people, humans with emotions and feelings and moods and lives? It's rare to see the feelings of teenagers validated to this degree, explicitly treated as relevant by the narrative.
If I have my phone out talking to you or my online friends, they think I'm ignoring them, or being disrespectful, or whatever. And it's like, no, I'm in the middle of a conversation. If you saw people talking to each other face to face, you wouldn't interrupt them and call it disrespectful, would you?The other thing I really loved thematically was the emphasis on online life as being a positive thing for some teens. See, here's the thing - having a community online has had a positive impact on my life. I mean, before I started using the internet in maybe 2014, I was pretty much the most antisocial kid ever. I had approximately three friends and two feelings. And then came the discourse, the banter, the memes, and the friends. And I got life experiences. All jokes aside, my real life is much more engaging, humorous, and brave because of experiences I've had on the internet. And I've yet to see that acknowledged in any YA books I've read thus far. I think this is a book I would recommend to parents as much as teenagers, just for how immersed I was in Eliza's experiences.
“Worth as a person is not based on any tangible evidence. There's no test for it, no scale.�
“You found me in a constellation.�
“You wrote back…�
“She drew so many monsters that she became a monster herself.�
“I made Monstrous Sea because it's the story I wanted. I wanted a story like it, and I couldn't find one, so I created it myself.�
“Broken people don't hide from their monsters. Broken people let themselves be eaten.�
“You found me in a constellation.�
“Maybe that’s normal. The things you care most about are the ones that leave the biggest holes.�
But this time it’s true, and the truth has a way of holding on. Truth is the worst monster, because it never really goes away.
He had found her in a constellation.