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93 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1997
No es que yo sea un genio ni un superdotado, qu茅 va. Todo lo contrario. Lo que pasa (tratar茅 de explicarlo) es que cada mente se conforma de acuerdo con sus experiencias y memorias y saberes, con la suma total, y la acumulaci贸n personal铆sima de todos los datos que la han hecho ser lo que es la hace 煤nica. Cada hombre es due帽o de una mente con poderes que pueden ser grandes o peque帽os pero que siempre son 煤nicos, propios de 茅l. Y lo hacen capaz de una 芦haza帽a禄, banal o grandiosa, que s贸lo 茅l habr铆a podido realizar. Aqu铆 todos hab铆an fallado porque hab铆an apostado a un simple progreso cuantitativo de la inteligencia y el ingenio, cuando lo que se necesitaba era una medida cualquiera de ambos, pero de la calidad apropiada. Mi inteligencia, lo he comprobado a mis expensas, es muy reducida. Apenas si me ha alcanzado para mantenerme a flote en las aguas procelosas de la vida. Pero es 煤nica en su calidad, y no es 煤nica porque yo me haya propuesto que lo sea, sino porque as铆 tiene que ser.
Lo que quiero destacar es que no me limit茅 a resolver especulativamente el enigma, sino que lo hice tambi茅n en la pr谩ctica. Quiero decir: despu茅s de comprender qu茅 era lo que hab铆a que hacer, fui y lo hice. Y el objeto respondi贸. El Hilo, un arco tenso desde hac铆a siglos, lanz贸 al fin su flecha, y trajo a mis pies el tesoro oculto, volvi茅ndome rico en un instante. Lo que fue muy pr谩ctico, porque siempre he sido pobre, y 煤ltimamente lo hab铆a sido m谩s que nunca.
But my mania -- to be constantly adding things, episodes, paragraphs, to be constantly veering off course, branching out -- is fatal. It must be due to insecurity, fear that the basics are not enough, so I have to keep adding more and more adornment until I achieve a kind of surrealistic rococo, which exasperates me more than it does anybody else.Far from seeing this as "fatal" or "exasperating," it is to be an endless source of delight. This is the fourth Aira I have read so far, and I cannot seem to stop. As Roberto Bolano once said, "Once you start reading Aira, you don't want to stop."
Gone were the many doubts that I had written it, for there were my recurrent themes, my little tricks... the idea had been to create something equivalent to those figures that was both realistic and impossible, like Escher鈥檚 Belvedere, figures that look viable in a drawing but could not be built because they are but an illusion of perspective...I was able to sustain it in this play only through the strength of ambiguities...but my mania--to be constantly adding things, episodes, characters, paragraphs, to be constantly veering off course, branching out--is fatal. It must be due to insecurity, fear that the basics are not enough, so I have to keep adding more and more adornment until I achieve a kind of surrealist rococo, which exasperates me more than it does anybody else. It was like a nightmare (the mother of all nightmares) to watch the living defects of what I had written materialize in front of me...it was grotesque, repulsive; I was mortified... Difficult as it is to believe, people liked that crap. (p55-60)