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Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief
Collects guidelines and advice for secular parenting, providing tips and strategies for addressing such issues as death, sexuality, morality, and religion while encouraging children to think for themselves.
269 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
154 people are currently reading
3,260 people want to read
About the author
Dale McGowan
19books54followersDALE McGOWAN, Ph.D., is a committed atheist, a devoted husband and father, and a recognized expert on raising caring, ethical children without religion. He is the author of Parenting Beyond Belief, a collection of essays by and for loving, thoughtful nonreligious parents hailed by Newsweek as “a compelling read,� and Raising Freethinkers, the first comprehensive resource addressing the unique challenges secular parents face. He teaches workshops to nonreligious parents throughout the United States and Canada and was named a Harvard Humanist of the Year. Dale also founded the nonprofit Foundation Beyond Belief, a charitable organization dedicated to encouraging and demonstrating acts of humanist generosity.
At age 28, Dale married his true love, Becca, a Southern Baptist. They had a traditional religious wedding in a beautiful, historic Lutheran church in San Francisco, with two ministers—a Methodist friend of the family and the bride’s Baptist uncle—plus an Episcopal organist. “No one would have guessed there was an atheist in the room,� Dale reflects, “much less that he was the one in tux and tails.� Twenty-three years and three kids later, their marriage is, happily, still going strong. Yet, as Dale knew from the experiences of others, including close friends, many mixed-belief marriages are marked by frequent conflict and pain, and some end in divorce, caused directly by the couple’s differences in worldview. Why do some secular/religious marriages succeed and others fail? Dale’s fascination with that question and search for answers culminated in the book, In Faith and In Doubt: How Religious Believers and Nonbelievers Can Create Strong Marriages and Loving Families.
Before finding his calling as a writer, Dale McGowan enjoyed a 15-year career as a professor of music and conductor. He holds degrees in physical anthropology and music theory from the University of California, as well as a doctorate in music composition and theory from the University of Minnesota. In addition to his books on secular parenting and mixed-belief families, he is the author of Atheism for Dummies, Voices of Unbelief, and two works of satirical fiction, Calling Bernadette's Bluff and Good Thunder. He makes his home near Atlanta, Georgia, with his wife Becca, a second grade teacher, and their three kids.
At age 28, Dale married his true love, Becca, a Southern Baptist. They had a traditional religious wedding in a beautiful, historic Lutheran church in San Francisco, with two ministers—a Methodist friend of the family and the bride’s Baptist uncle—plus an Episcopal organist. “No one would have guessed there was an atheist in the room,� Dale reflects, “much less that he was the one in tux and tails.� Twenty-three years and three kids later, their marriage is, happily, still going strong. Yet, as Dale knew from the experiences of others, including close friends, many mixed-belief marriages are marked by frequent conflict and pain, and some end in divorce, caused directly by the couple’s differences in worldview. Why do some secular/religious marriages succeed and others fail? Dale’s fascination with that question and search for answers culminated in the book, In Faith and In Doubt: How Religious Believers and Nonbelievers Can Create Strong Marriages and Loving Families.
Before finding his calling as a writer, Dale McGowan enjoyed a 15-year career as a professor of music and conductor. He holds degrees in physical anthropology and music theory from the University of California, as well as a doctorate in music composition and theory from the University of Minnesota. In addition to his books on secular parenting and mixed-belief families, he is the author of Atheism for Dummies, Voices of Unbelief, and two works of satirical fiction, Calling Bernadette's Bluff and Good Thunder. He makes his home near Atlanta, Georgia, with his wife Becca, a second grade teacher, and their three kids.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 141 reviews
February 18, 2012
This book has made me cry several times. Cry with validation and peace. Insider secret; I read this book for myself more than for my potential future-parenting. I wanted to understand some basics of freethinking, as I was raised religiously and no longer adhere to those beliefs. I wondered how to approach death, life, being surrounded by religion that I don't believe in, having religious relatives, etc. I read this book as much for helping me on my newly agnostic journey as I did for feeling more secure about raising a child as an agnostic parent. How would I replace religion in my future parenting? I have so many wonderful, peace-giving, loving ideas in my head now for raising *hopefully* a child who is a realist, who understands myth when they hear/see it, and who experiences each day for what it is - a beautiful opportunity to see and experience another day.
This book gives excellent suggestions for laying your boundaries as a parent of freethinkers when it comes to having religious influences in your children's lives while encouraging your children's religious literacy.
This book gives excellent suggestions for laying your boundaries as a parent of freethinkers when it comes to having religious influences in your children's lives while encouraging your children's religious literacy.
April 16, 2011
I never really thought about myself as a "freethinker" or a "secular humanist" until I read this book. The author's work was referred to me by my aunt who works for the Institute for Science and Human Values (a secular neo-humanist organization). We can all categorize ourselves under different labels, but the label "non-religious" just sounds awkward. I am glad I can now think of myself in new terms, and "freethinker" certainly sounds more positive than "non-religious." The idea is that as a freethinker you embrace reason and critical thinking in making your decisions about what you believe and how you act on those beliefs. This book does not go into the history or background of the freethinkers, but it does provide an excellent resource to me as a parent of two young children on how to raise my kids. Since Auden has now started asking me about God ("Mommy, why do all my friends and teachers say that God made the world?" and, "I saw God and he has the same pajamas as me."), I am glad to have this on my bookshelf!
March 16, 2009
This book is a wonderful resource for (secular) parents that want to raise their children to be questioning adults and to embrace humanistic values.
It's a guide that, in a religious world, will help you raise your kids to be aware and respectful of other beliefs while being secure in their own world view.
It covers the different stages of moral development as well as dealing with issues like loss and death and is full of activities and other resources - including a wonderful list of movie suggestions organized by age and topic (such as Religious Literacy, Coming of Age, etc.)
While I liked "Parenting Beyond Belief" as a single read, I really enjoyed "Raising Freethinkers" and will be returning to it through the years as my children age.
It's a guide that, in a religious world, will help you raise your kids to be aware and respectful of other beliefs while being secure in their own world view.
It covers the different stages of moral development as well as dealing with issues like loss and death and is full of activities and other resources - including a wonderful list of movie suggestions organized by age and topic (such as Religious Literacy, Coming of Age, etc.)
While I liked "Parenting Beyond Belief" as a single read, I really enjoyed "Raising Freethinkers" and will be returning to it through the years as my children age.
March 25, 2010
When I checked out this book, I did not know that their was a first book also by Dale MacGowan. But I happy I started with this one. Every time I pick it up I get such a wonderful feeling. I just want to cherish it all. While I'm not humanist and I do consider myself a theist I still took A LOT from this book. The only downside was quickly resolved by a friend (who also lend me the first in the series) was that I wanted to go and run and look at every link and book mentioned. Fortunately someone beat me to it and make a nice handy lists available here
All in all, awesome book!
All in all, awesome book!
March 20, 2013
Ahhh...this is just what I've been looking for. As a nonreligious parent of a five-year-old and 16-month-old, I've struggled to figure out how to give my children a sense of spirituality while skipping the dogma, and how to answer their questions about faith when I have virtually none. This book provided me with some guidance on these questions. I can see this book becoming a staple of my parenting life; something I will go back to again and again as my children grow and enter different stages of development and thought.
August 18, 2014
It will provide good reference material.
I like the family activities that it outlines.
Ultimately it reads like a manual, and I didn't like the layout. It also troubles me when people assert themselves authoritatively about what is good parenting because I think that we are all just muddling through it the best we can.
I like the family activities that it outlines.
Ultimately it reads like a manual, and I didn't like the layout. It also troubles me when people assert themselves authoritatively about what is good parenting because I think that we are all just muddling through it the best we can.
May 3, 2023
Repetitive at times, but also has some good activities and directions to go in. May use it in the future as my child gets older.
August 10, 2009
What a wonderful work to help parents raise thinkers.
Most helpful to me are the Activities at the end of each chapter to reinforce the ideas taught and to encourage thinking and learning in your childrens' minds.
Favorite chapter? "Celebrating Life" - which I think is especially helpful for us non-believers. Clear-ups on traditional/holidays and how to celebrate them without indoctrination is why I think MacGowan received the Humanist Award from Harvard U. :) (Others, I'm sure, would disagree.) Helping us all live together is very valuable, indeed, and recognizing our sameness (rather than our one difference) is encouraged throughout the book.
Favorite topic? Happiness & Flow -- all parents should learn about and experience "flow". Most of us experience it without even knowing it. Overscheduling and interrupting interferes with flow (something I needed to be taught). Be sure to include flexibility and spontanaety to foster happiness!
Lots of good ideas and activities for children.
This book is for open-minded individuals who see the world as it is, not as they wish it to be. It is for those who encourage questions and seek answers using the scientific method of research. If you want to learn about Humanists and non-believers and their "family approach" this is also a good exp to broaden your horizons about others and how they incorporate valuable lessons for their children, without religious content.
Easy, quick read -- I learned a lot!
Most helpful to me are the Activities at the end of each chapter to reinforce the ideas taught and to encourage thinking and learning in your childrens' minds.
Favorite chapter? "Celebrating Life" - which I think is especially helpful for us non-believers. Clear-ups on traditional/holidays and how to celebrate them without indoctrination is why I think MacGowan received the Humanist Award from Harvard U. :) (Others, I'm sure, would disagree.) Helping us all live together is very valuable, indeed, and recognizing our sameness (rather than our one difference) is encouraged throughout the book.
Favorite topic? Happiness & Flow -- all parents should learn about and experience "flow". Most of us experience it without even knowing it. Overscheduling and interrupting interferes with flow (something I needed to be taught). Be sure to include flexibility and spontanaety to foster happiness!
Lots of good ideas and activities for children.
This book is for open-minded individuals who see the world as it is, not as they wish it to be. It is for those who encourage questions and seek answers using the scientific method of research. If you want to learn about Humanists and non-believers and their "family approach" this is also a good exp to broaden your horizons about others and how they incorporate valuable lessons for their children, without religious content.
Easy, quick read -- I learned a lot!
December 4, 2013
Loved it. Raising Freethinkers ended up being one of those books that articulated so many of my thoughts and feelings very well, and introduced a few things to think about.
I especially appreciated the balanced, kind manner of responding to or dealing with religious thought or people.
Love all the ideas and resources.
This is one worth buying, and I look forward to reading the first book (Parenting Beyond Belief.)
Dale McGowan is a good, fun writer.
My favorite block quote from the book (nailed my feelings):
"I can live with doubt and uncertainty and not knowing. I think it's much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong. I have approximate answers and possible beliefs and different degrees of certainty about different things, but I'm not absolutely sure of anything and there are many things I don't know anything about, such as why we're here. I don't have to know the answer. I don't feel frightened by not knowing things, by being lost in a mysterious universe without any purpose, which is the way it really is as far as I can tell. It doesn't frighten me." - Richard Feynman, Nobel Laureate in Physics
I especially appreciated the balanced, kind manner of responding to or dealing with religious thought or people.
Love all the ideas and resources.
This is one worth buying, and I look forward to reading the first book (Parenting Beyond Belief.)
Dale McGowan is a good, fun writer.
My favorite block quote from the book (nailed my feelings):
"I can live with doubt and uncertainty and not knowing. I think it's much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong. I have approximate answers and possible beliefs and different degrees of certainty about different things, but I'm not absolutely sure of anything and there are many things I don't know anything about, such as why we're here. I don't have to know the answer. I don't feel frightened by not knowing things, by being lost in a mysterious universe without any purpose, which is the way it really is as far as I can tell. It doesn't frighten me." - Richard Feynman, Nobel Laureate in Physics
March 22, 2011
I found this book a while back after I read The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. Yes, it's by atheist/secular humanist authors and so you know that's what these people think and that those are their core beliefs. Yes, they're beliefs. So, overall, they are very hard on the fundamentalist religions, they do show how the more progressive religions mostly parent in the same way as the secular humanists. This book is CHOCK FULL of resources on lots of different topics. This book has been a great help for me in finding good resources on how to talk about lots of topics with my daughter. And contrary to what you might thing, this book doesn't advocate atheism for your kids. What it does advocate is finding out information about all sorts of different religions and belief systems and answering your kid's questions factually without bias so that they can make their own decisions and try out things that appeal to them and make sense to them. And most importantly, they can feel free to change their minds as often as they want to. I highly recommend this one.
August 22, 2009
This was an educational book on learning the point of view of atheists and how they'd prefer raising children without God or any form of belief system. The argument is that logic and reason is all you should need to raise a respectable moral child in today's society. They believe religion is brain washing and doesn't allow doubt or questioning. They list resources and excises after each chapter. Although they profess to believe in "freethinking", it sounded pretty much them teaching their own religion of humanism/atheism and ridiculing Christianity. You'd have to be a "freethinker" to think this is a great book. Very good to know what is being taught in non-believing homes and the mind set that is being instilled in today's generation.
April 11, 2022
“Leave kids unlabeled. Calling a child a “Christian� or an “atheist� is counterproductive to encouraging genuine freethought. It is just as dishonest to label a child with a complex worldview as to call her a “Republican� or a “Marxist.�
This book is an absolute gem. I found it randomly; I had never heard or read about anyone recommending this book. However, just a few pages in, and I was hooked! I highlighted several quotes and passages throughout the book, even hitting ŷ� display limit for highlights.
“I want the idea that questions can be feared because of the answers they might produce to baffle my kids. I want them to find hilariously silly the idea that certain lines of thought cannot even be pursued, lest they be caught.�
This is an amazing resource for secular parents, now described in more positive and with better descriptors such as “freethinker� and “humanist�. It covers a wide range of topics with an equal measure of elegance, cleverness, and wit. Everything is mentioned and no topic is off the table. I was amazed with this book, it’s packed full of resources! It has websites, books, activities, and movies recommendations.
”Invite the questioning of authority. At the
heart of freethought is the rejection of the
argument from authority. Encourage
children to ask for the reasons behind
rules and the reasoning behind answers.�
I was also surprised with the good psychological research backing up the claims of the book and even mentioned in it (there is a lot in here that I have been taught for my psychology major or read on my own in journals and such, to this day). I must admit I read this book, as other reviewers have said, more for myself than any future children. I was raised religious (devout and reformed Baptist) and this book was like a warm hug, full of assurance and insights that I have been putting together on my own, and this helps put to words some of the discomfort I have felt while analyzing my religious upbringing. I felt understood and seen by this book, but it also showed me a way forward. I thought it was marvelous as well that the book included progressive religious parents, often overlooked by secular parenting resources.
“Regardless, you owe it to your child to
preserve the space around her to make her
own choice without having to deal with
someone else's idea of the right choice-
even if that someone else is her loving
貹Գ…�
I don’t usually re-read, but I definitely plan on going back to this one very soon.
“Everyday things get more wonderfully
strange the more you look and learn.�
This book is an absolute gem. I found it randomly; I had never heard or read about anyone recommending this book. However, just a few pages in, and I was hooked! I highlighted several quotes and passages throughout the book, even hitting ŷ� display limit for highlights.
“I want the idea that questions can be feared because of the answers they might produce to baffle my kids. I want them to find hilariously silly the idea that certain lines of thought cannot even be pursued, lest they be caught.�
This is an amazing resource for secular parents, now described in more positive and with better descriptors such as “freethinker� and “humanist�. It covers a wide range of topics with an equal measure of elegance, cleverness, and wit. Everything is mentioned and no topic is off the table. I was amazed with this book, it’s packed full of resources! It has websites, books, activities, and movies recommendations.
”Invite the questioning of authority. At the
heart of freethought is the rejection of the
argument from authority. Encourage
children to ask for the reasons behind
rules and the reasoning behind answers.�
I was also surprised with the good psychological research backing up the claims of the book and even mentioned in it (there is a lot in here that I have been taught for my psychology major or read on my own in journals and such, to this day). I must admit I read this book, as other reviewers have said, more for myself than any future children. I was raised religious (devout and reformed Baptist) and this book was like a warm hug, full of assurance and insights that I have been putting together on my own, and this helps put to words some of the discomfort I have felt while analyzing my religious upbringing. I felt understood and seen by this book, but it also showed me a way forward. I thought it was marvelous as well that the book included progressive religious parents, often overlooked by secular parenting resources.
“Regardless, you owe it to your child to
preserve the space around her to make her
own choice without having to deal with
someone else's idea of the right choice-
even if that someone else is her loving
貹Գ…�
I don’t usually re-read, but I definitely plan on going back to this one very soon.
“Everyday things get more wonderfully
strange the more you look and learn.�
April 17, 2016
Being a Mormon, I obviously had more interest in the "Raising Freethinkers" part of this book than the "Parenting Beyond Belief" part. And yeah, it did have numerous eye-rolling moments when silly swipes were taken at religion, though it never derailed the surrounding issues.
So what does a parent like me have in common with non-religious parents, then? Quite a lot, actually.
In the preface, the author asserts that “the followers of progressive religion have far more in common with the nonreligious than they do with their more conservative and literal coreligionists.� I think there's a lot of truth to this. For example, the following are important values to me as a parent:
- Discourage the passive acceptance of what authority figures say
- Encourage active moral development with compassion as the central principle
- Encourage critical thinking and exploration
- Teach that honest questions are often more important than answers, and that an inconclusive discovery process is better than an inaccurate answer
- Avoid using fear/shame as motivators
- Instill an awe for the majestic world around us
- Discourage “us vs. them� thinking in terms of religious, political, sexual, or ethnic boundaries
It turns out that conservative religious parenting is the real problem, with widespread acceptance of corporal punishment, shame/fear as motivators, authoritarianism, etc. There's no good reason any religious person shouldn't encourage, for example, bold questioning (at least in my not-so-humble opinion).
All in all, pretty good ideas with a basis of scientific research.
So what does a parent like me have in common with non-religious parents, then? Quite a lot, actually.
In the preface, the author asserts that “the followers of progressive religion have far more in common with the nonreligious than they do with their more conservative and literal coreligionists.� I think there's a lot of truth to this. For example, the following are important values to me as a parent:
- Discourage the passive acceptance of what authority figures say
- Encourage active moral development with compassion as the central principle
- Encourage critical thinking and exploration
- Teach that honest questions are often more important than answers, and that an inconclusive discovery process is better than an inaccurate answer
- Avoid using fear/shame as motivators
- Instill an awe for the majestic world around us
- Discourage “us vs. them� thinking in terms of religious, political, sexual, or ethnic boundaries
It turns out that conservative religious parenting is the real problem, with widespread acceptance of corporal punishment, shame/fear as motivators, authoritarianism, etc. There's no good reason any religious person shouldn't encourage, for example, bold questioning (at least in my not-so-humble opinion).
All in all, pretty good ideas with a basis of scientific research.
May 27, 2015
A useful resource for secular and humanist parents that articulates things you possibly already feel into more concrete exercises and techniques. At this early stage in my parenting life, I found Chapters 1 (The Inquiring Mind) and 7 (Death and Life) to be the most immediately compelling. I hope I'll retain lessons from the chapter on sex and the body for the preteen years.
I'll admit, like others here, I actually cried a few times. Without a church-like community to share your beliefs with, reading a book like this can be quite a relief and reaffirm your own values.
As an aside, I have found gatherings a great place to start for church-like community. I can't go as often as I'd like, but if you are looking for an alternative to UU or Ethical Societies, it's worth checking out.
I'll admit, like others here, I actually cried a few times. Without a church-like community to share your beliefs with, reading a book like this can be quite a relief and reaffirm your own values.
As an aside, I have found gatherings a great place to start for church-like community. I can't go as often as I'd like, but if you are looking for an alternative to UU or Ethical Societies, it's worth checking out.
February 27, 2012
An outstanding resource for teaching kids HOW to think as opposed to WHAT to think. It overflows with practical ideas on how to guide your children to live differently within a religious world, and to do it with respect and kindness. I found validation in every page. Yes, you can raise ethical kids without religion! For those reviewers who think that the authors are bashing religion, if you read closely, they actually promote biblical literacy as a basis of understanding, and they even include a section on how the Church does a better job than most secular organizations. The overriding theme is to teach your kids critical thinking skills as opposed to accepting the status quo. An excellent read!
September 26, 2014
I'm about three-quarters of the way through this book and it has been so eye-opening and reaffirming. Having been raised in a very religious home and now raising children with a religious spouse, I felt lost as to how I could help my kids grow up to be critical thinkers. I want skeptics but not cynics! The book is so full of activities and resourses that I doubt I could ever get to them all. Excellent book, highly recommended.
April 11, 2018
Did not finish. I kept trying with this book. I kept flipping past parts that frustrated me, but it turned out to be the entire book. This is a parenting book for someone that self-identifies as 100% atheist. As an agnostic, I know I'm not the target audience here, but I didn't realize reading it would frustrate me so much. It's like listening to an atheist give a lecture. And here I thought we'd be talking about letting children decide for themselves...
March 15, 2012
Helpful parenting book written in Question and Answer format as a follow up to Parenting Beyond Belief. At the end of each chapter, activity, website, and reading suggestions to round out the topics. Also available, in the appendix, lists of relevant movies and lists of principals. Especially useful is the age ratings on activities, websites, books, and movie suggestions.
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June 3, 2010I found the parenting advice to be OUTSTANDING, but the irony of the fact that the author is SO prejudiced and encouraging prejudice against 85% of the worlds population (while calling it "freethinking") turned me off. Too bad, it had good bones.
July 29, 2012
SO many ideas in this book for both religious and non-religious families for those Big Questions and Big Issues--"where did I come from?", "how did we get here", etc. Love the ideas on helping your kids (and yourself!) to think outside of the box, whichever box it may be.
February 13, 2016
This is just an incredible overall parenting book!
May 9, 2018
If your kids are asking all sorts of questions about God, Jesus, the meaning of life and what happens when we die, etc this is your book. Raising Freethinkers helps you answer these tough, compelling questions free from religious indoctrination. We're raising our children secularly but want them to have religious literacy and respect for other faiths and beliefs. This engaging book promotes intellectual curiosity, independent thought, a thirst for scientific knowledge, reasoning and critical thinking, the profound importance of empathy and kindness, as well as sexual positivity, education and empowerment. It also cautions that indoctrination and atheism are both just as damaging, because each focuses on only ONE way of thinking, closing all other filters. At the end of the day we want our kids to question everything and also open their minds to various possibilities and perspectives. Let them decide for themselves and allow them to change their minds a million times. No pressure with free thought.
September 25, 2018
I think this book reinforces the value of exposing your child to various viewpoints and faiths while encouraging them to think for themselves and have confidence in their own critical thinking skills. It stresses the importance of providing the tools necessary to help your child form their own questions and conclusions about how the universe works. This book helped me think through how to approach the topic of religious indoctrination without inadvertently imposing my own views onto my son. I think it provides some great tools for raising an ethical, open-minded individual. There are some clever activities (cosmic calendar, span of life, geomythology) that would be fun to do with an inquisitive kid who loves learning and science. The activities reinforce just how vast and amazing the universe really is. This was a worthwhile read in my opinion and I'll keep it as a resource book.
December 31, 2021
4 🌟 stars Book 42 of 65 in 2021’s reading challenge
Although my husband and I grew up with religion (myself Catholic and my husband Lutheran) it became clear in our adulthood that we aligned ourselves as nonreligious or atheist.
As a parent and homeschooling family, I often have to dig a bit more to find secular ressources. Raising Freethinkers offers solutions to unique challeges secular parents face. Big questions such as death and life, secular celebrations and advice on dealing with religious-family issues.
As a parent in this digital age, I feel it’s more important than ever for our kids to learn HOW to think and not WHAT to think. I want to encourage my children to think for themselves instead of be led through life. This book offers practical tips on how to raise kids to ask questions and foster their critical thinking skills.
Although my husband and I grew up with religion (myself Catholic and my husband Lutheran) it became clear in our adulthood that we aligned ourselves as nonreligious or atheist.
As a parent and homeschooling family, I often have to dig a bit more to find secular ressources. Raising Freethinkers offers solutions to unique challeges secular parents face. Big questions such as death and life, secular celebrations and advice on dealing with religious-family issues.
As a parent in this digital age, I feel it’s more important than ever for our kids to learn HOW to think and not WHAT to think. I want to encourage my children to think for themselves instead of be led through life. This book offers practical tips on how to raise kids to ask questions and foster their critical thinking skills.
April 12, 2022
This is a useful handbook for framing important conversations with your children about death, celebrations, sex, finding meaning in life, and more. The advice follows evidence-based strategies for raising empathetic and ethical children and outlines the harms traditional religious or authoritarian parenting can inflict on children. Included at the end of each chapter are activities and lists of additional resources to consult.
The thing I would have liked more of is advice for dealing with the social ramifications of living in a religious area. I live in the bible belt, and I struggle to know how much to disclose my secular humanist views for fear of my child facing discrimination from her teachers and peers. The book advocates being "out" about your views to promote awareness of disbelief, but that's a lot easier to do in some parts of the country than others.
The thing I would have liked more of is advice for dealing with the social ramifications of living in a religious area. I live in the bible belt, and I struggle to know how much to disclose my secular humanist views for fear of my child facing discrimination from her teachers and peers. The book advocates being "out" about your views to promote awareness of disbelief, but that's a lot easier to do in some parts of the country than others.
February 2, 2021
This book was probably great when it first came out in 2009, but in 2020/2021 it comes across as out-of-date and even problematic in some instances. The format is good, in that it is broken down in ways that make sense and can be read in short bursts. Each chapter has a part that uses a question and answer format that makes it feel more conversational. There are also extensive resources, but I'm not sure that they still remain relevant. With a careful update, I think this book could once again be very useful to secular parents. And if it does get updated, I hope they reconsider the parts that suggest Day of the Dead as a useful way to explore death. That part reeked of cultural appropriation, and we (secular parents) can and must do better than that.
February 6, 2022
I admit my bias as a Christian reader who read this book to glean God-given wisdom from those who disagree with me.
And while I would occasionally wince at the preconceived notions about and the dismissive-to-belligerent tone towards religion, the authors were more respectful than I expected. And there was MUCH wisdom here.
It was no more science-based than anything else from which I would choose to learn parenting. Really, it was the values that were different. And not opposed, but prioritized differently. I appreciated the perspective.
It’s made me a better parent.
And while I would occasionally wince at the preconceived notions about and the dismissive-to-belligerent tone towards religion, the authors were more respectful than I expected. And there was MUCH wisdom here.
It was no more science-based than anything else from which I would choose to learn parenting. Really, it was the values that were different. And not opposed, but prioritized differently. I appreciated the perspective.
It’s made me a better parent.
February 28, 2021
I could see owning a copy of this one. 100s of pages of resources for the non-religious/atheist parent to consider and share with their child/ren: from scientific inquiry and understanding earth's place in the universe to living as an ethical humanist to the importance of understanding the basic tenants of all major religions and movies to watch with your kids (of varying ages), the joy of life, how to talk about death, and suggestions for finding a community without church.
November 6, 2022
As a parent who was raised in a Catholic household, this book answered a lot of questions I have had. How to make nonreligious traditions, how to answer religious family inquiries, even questions I had never thought about. What I liked the most was that the book focuses on teaching your children to question everything and not just follow the religious mindset of “do as I say� but in a nonreligious format. Highly recommend.
January 30, 2024
I liked the short chapters full of activities and resources in this practical guide. This book covers the same topics but is much more useful than the one that came before (Parenting Beyond Belief). My only complaint is that it is a bit old, so some of the websites and resources don’t exist anymore.
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