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Toddlers and Preschoolers: Love and Logic Parenting for Early Childhood, 6 Months to Five Years
Learn the secrets that take the stress, frustration, and confusion out of parenting a toddler. Start early with Love and Logic, and enjoy parenting.
- GenresParentingNonfiction
Audio CD
First published January 1, 1997
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
March 20, 2014
I did like many of the ideas and I definitely think repetition is good for this age group. However, I do believe that younger children benefit from a little bit of a practice session after the incident. Just saying I love you and letting them go back to their activities is fine for older kids, however, younger kids benefit from practicing what they can do differently next time so the consequence is not needed. (Take deep breaths, go to a pillow, ask for a hug, etc) They are very here and now and if you don't practice right away it won't hold as much meaning (IMO). Not a lecture...just a gentle practice session. Also, I think because younger kids are acting more on impulse, and not thinking of the cause and effect, they do need more chances (even at 4, 5, etc) and not giving at least one reminder seems a little harsh to me. And I'm not a big proponent of shutting my kids in their rooms at the time when they need me the most...they haven't learned to self regulate their emotions and need help doing so-not being isolated in their room. BUT-I loved the idea that your energy as a parent gets depleted and recharging it in the way of chores etc. I don't know how much of this I will use with my 4 and 2 year old...but I will definitely revisit when they are older. I think consistency is important and as long as mom and dad are on the same page with how they parent and staying unaffected and not engaging in their kids arguments you are doing an awesome job :)
September 10, 2021
This applies the Love and Logic parenting method to the toddler years. The approach: let the child suffer the consequences of their behavior, with empathy and concern. Help the child learn how they're going to solve their problem. Don't give consequences with anger, lectures, threats, and intimidation.
I haven't yet read Love and Logic, so I'm sure this will make more sense after I do. Even without that background, this approach sounds effective.
It's a recorded conversation, not a narrated book. As such, it's not as well-organized as I'd like.
Notes
A child thinks it's worth it to get in trouble just to to see their parent's reaction.
When you get frustrated or angry, you lose control. When you retain composure, you retain control. Acting out in anger or frustration reinforces the behavior.
When child misbehaves, remove them from the situation. Move them to a place where they can be alone to think about behavior (crib, room, etc.).
Sing "uh oh" song with lilt in voice, to dissipate your anger. Say, "uh oh, bedroom time, that's so sad."
Don't rescue child from problem; enable them to get through their challenge.
When child starts behaving badly, warn by saying, "I wouldn't do that if I were you," or, "I don't think that would be a wise choice."
When child suffers because they disobeyed, say, "I know you can handle it." Don't say, "I told you so." When they suffer, say, "sometimes these things happen." They'll remember that you warned. Don't reason or lecture.
By age 4, you can use delayed consequences.
When you tell a child it's OK to cry or stomp or throw a fit, you take the fun out of it. Tell them if they don't want to, that's OK too, so you win either way.
When warning, talk quieter, not louder.
Warn only once, then do something about it.
When child talks back, say, "nice try," or "what did I say?" (asking them to repeat what you said).
It's OK if the child enjoys being sent to their room.
A bribe is something you feel forced to do; a reward is something you feel good about doing.
When child asks, "why?" to be annoying, ignore, or ask, "why do you think?" or say, "I'll tell you tomorrow if you haven't figured it out by then."
When child gets hurt, say, "boom" rather than, "are you hurt?"
You don't get the behavior you ask for; you get what you expect and promote.
I haven't yet read Love and Logic, so I'm sure this will make more sense after I do. Even without that background, this approach sounds effective.
It's a recorded conversation, not a narrated book. As such, it's not as well-organized as I'd like.
Notes
A child thinks it's worth it to get in trouble just to to see their parent's reaction.
When you get frustrated or angry, you lose control. When you retain composure, you retain control. Acting out in anger or frustration reinforces the behavior.
When child misbehaves, remove them from the situation. Move them to a place where they can be alone to think about behavior (crib, room, etc.).
Sing "uh oh" song with lilt in voice, to dissipate your anger. Say, "uh oh, bedroom time, that's so sad."
Don't rescue child from problem; enable them to get through their challenge.
When child starts behaving badly, warn by saying, "I wouldn't do that if I were you," or, "I don't think that would be a wise choice."
When child suffers because they disobeyed, say, "I know you can handle it." Don't say, "I told you so." When they suffer, say, "sometimes these things happen." They'll remember that you warned. Don't reason or lecture.
By age 4, you can use delayed consequences.
When you tell a child it's OK to cry or stomp or throw a fit, you take the fun out of it. Tell them if they don't want to, that's OK too, so you win either way.
When warning, talk quieter, not louder.
Warn only once, then do something about it.
When child talks back, say, "nice try," or "what did I say?" (asking them to repeat what you said).
It's OK if the child enjoys being sent to their room.
A bribe is something you feel forced to do; a reward is something you feel good about doing.
When child asks, "why?" to be annoying, ignore, or ask, "why do you think?" or say, "I'll tell you tomorrow if you haven't figured it out by then."
When child gets hurt, say, "boom" rather than, "are you hurt?"
You don't get the behavior you ask for; you get what you expect and promote.
January 30, 2010
Didn't love this book. I agree with a friend, that the tone was very snobbish and looked down on anyone who doesn't make themself a disciple of the love and logis system. I've got news for them - many of the principles they preach are not unique to love and logic (they didn't come up with them). They are things that I learned in classes in college and are things that parents have been teaching for years without having to call themselves "love and logic parents". Anyway, I felt the tone was somewhat annoying and found that the book gave plenty of accounts of situations where a parent was successful dealing with their child, but didn't give any substantial or concrete ideas as to exactly what all the principles were, and definitely didn't give any practical advice on how you actually apply the principle in parenting (unless you happen to encounter the EXACT situation that is given in the example).
July 22, 2012
I think the ideas behind Love & Logic make sense, and I will try to use them. But I thought the authors were condescending in tone; they use a lot of examples of "what not to do," and perhaps because it's the audio their voices conveyed a "listen to this idiot parent who doesn't know our great techniques and what a stupid thing they did." Or maybe I am too sensitive. Worth knowing, but maybe the audiobook isn't the best choice.
March 29, 2016
My husband and I have just taken the Love and Logic class and I thought this would be a nice supplement. It was. I'm just overwhelmed with parenting advice right now (especially when L&L doesn't seem to be working as we hoped it would), so I'm taking a break from it. I may finish it.
August 13, 2009
This book changed my thinking and gave me a focus while parenting a very determined two year old. I got really good at giving choices...I found myself accidently giving choices to my husband. ha ha.
September 27, 2018
A conversational two hour introduction to the concept. I used L&L with my at risk high school students and it was hands down the best. Anyone who listens to this and feels it might be a good fit, there are a myriad of other resources to expand your knowledge of the concept. I understand some of the complaints in the reviews, but in a purely practical sense, this has been the best stuff and I’m glad I reacquainted myself for my own kids!!!
September 10, 2018
This was great, I only wish it was longer so I could have more examples. I'll have to read their other books next.
July 31, 2011
This was a recording of a conversation between the 2 authors and lady asking them questions. I liked most of the ideas and I want to learn more about their parenting ideas for adolescents too. A few of their ideas I liked best were:
#1 Do not show anger or frustration when dealing with problems/conflicts that arise surrounding your kids.
#2 Leave the problem on the child's shoulders if they are the one who created it and let them see and feel the consequences rather than sheltering them or taking on the burden as the parent.
#3 Be consistent with discipline even when you are tired, otherwise you create the a Las Vegas type of syndrome--if the bad behavior pays off 1 time out of 10 they will keep trying it over and over and hoping for that pay off again
I feel so much freer now and so much less guilty about every single little fight that arises. Now I don't have to take it personally when my kids misbehave or fight over and over. What a relief!
#1 Do not show anger or frustration when dealing with problems/conflicts that arise surrounding your kids.
#2 Leave the problem on the child's shoulders if they are the one who created it and let them see and feel the consequences rather than sheltering them or taking on the burden as the parent.
#3 Be consistent with discipline even when you are tired, otherwise you create the a Las Vegas type of syndrome--if the bad behavior pays off 1 time out of 10 they will keep trying it over and over and hoping for that pay off again
I feel so much freer now and so much less guilty about every single little fight that arises. Now I don't have to take it personally when my kids misbehave or fight over and over. What a relief!
August 24, 2011
Has some great parenting ideas. Much of what is in here is also seen in the generic Love and Logic book, but there were a few things in here that were new that I liked--the "energy drain" technique--when children are arguing/lying/fighting/don't finish chores or anything else that grates your nerves, tell them that your energy is being drained and they need to figure out how to restore it. Give them a couple of options (usually chores) and let them choose what to do. Some basics that I like are: always being in control, giving options that you can control/live with while giving them doses of control kids are happy with; letting your child know that handling them is not a big deal, and you can certainly do it--tantrums and arguing are no sweat; letting consequences and actions do discipline, not lectures/threats/words.
March 14, 2011
This book has some great ideas about parenting and making it a fun, successful experience. I especially appreciate the logic behind giving kids choices to help them learn to make decisions and to help them feel more in control of their life. My biggest complaint with this book is that there is no explanation for what to do in situations where your child doesn't respond in the "love and logic" manner. Obviously, this book is not a manual for parenting, but I think it would have been helpful to explore several possible outcomes for some of the example situations. Children are all different, and it seems possible to me that they will respond differently.
August 27, 2008
I am reading the book, not listening to a cd, in case anyone cared! Also, I am sure I will be "currently reading" this book forever (well, until I no longer have kids these ages) since I read some, then stop, then forget what I am trying to do and start reading again. I Do like this book though, and I only gave it 4 stars because I am still trying to test the methods. When I actually read the whole book and do exactly what it says, then I will update the stars according to how well it works. I do have to say that it really helps me to think about what I say and how I react.
June 17, 2011
Some really good ideas. I like the concept of lovingly teaching children that we suffer the consequences of our choices. Also, to deal with them firmly and calmly, enforcing a punishment the first time so they learn to take us seriously. However, I did not like the ideas that involed sarcasm. I never feel sarcasm is appropriate.
May 29, 2008
I listened to a CD and it was basically a review of Parenting with Love and Logic and the authors comparing stories of parents who aren't parenting toddlers according to Love and Logic. I liked the first book much better.
February 13, 2009
This seems so much more effective to me than other approaches I have seen. I really needed to hear how important it is to not shield people from the natural consequences of their actions so that they can learn for themselves. I apply that concept now to more than just my children...
July 15, 2013
I have been resistant to the Love and Logic books, I think mainly because I viewed it as a craze. This book has seriously changed my life at home, and I have only implemented one of the many things that I look forward to doing. Seriously. Read this.
October 31, 2014
I'd say I agreed with about 97% of what they had to say.
This was an entertaining format though because it's basically a mediated conversation between Fay and Cline. Full of stories and examples. Pretty good for dipping your toes in.
This was an entertaining format though because it's basically a mediated conversation between Fay and Cline. Full of stories and examples. Pretty good for dipping your toes in.
May 4, 2015
Pretty much just two old guys (even grandchildren are grown) sitting around telling stories of what they have seen other parents do. It sounds like sports radio. They may have ok ideas (perhaps out of date) but this format doesn't work.
May 7, 2008
One of the best methods I have found for parenting.
January 8, 2010
I am a huge fan of Love and Logic. I feel like a am such a better, more patient, and most importantly, smarter parent after reviewing its principles.
April 20, 2010
I love the love and logic series.
January 31, 2010
Great resource for new parents like myself. Common sense ideas on discipline based on Biblical principles. Highly recommend.
November 30, 2010
This definitely had some good information. Let's see if I can remember to put any of it into practice.
May 9, 2012
Short read with some good parenting ideas. I'm going to try it out with my three year old and see how it goes.
October 18, 2012
Good advice and techniques
July 25, 2013
Didn't really explain the Love & Login system just that you should implement it within 18 months old for most effective results. Not a big help for me (I currently have 2 & 5 yr olds).
May 5, 2016
Not very informative, tons of preachy anecdotes. Book is in the form of an interview.
July 21, 2009
I love this book! I think it is brilliant! I am going out to buy it, just to have as a reference!
October 10, 2011
I'm listening to this audiobook. Wish I had started the series sooner!
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
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