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295 pages, Hardcover
First published May 16, 2019
"It begins with our bodies. Skin on skin. My body burst from yours. Safe together in the violet dark and yet already there are spaces beginning to open betweenus. I am wet and glistening like a beetroot pulsing in soil. Fastingand gulping. There are wounds in your belly and welts around your nipples, puffy and purpling."
"Redness cracking. Fissures forming. You are falling towards us, rich and syrup-soft. Flesh roiling. Bones shifting. Tongues over bellies and fingers in wet places."
"My father is passed out in a chair and I am dozing on his lap in a mushroom of white lace."
"The sunsets are crisp and smell of cardigans."
"He smelled of leather, superglue and love."
"Sludge horrible delicious between my toes."
"Bridges are in-between spaces and I was in between, too."
[regarding how Lucy would use the Shard as a landmark to orient herself in the city] "I feel an affinity with the Shard, even though it is a symbol of the wealth and status I am so far removed from."
"Auntie Kitty rationed the hot water and made anyone who entered the house throw holy sand over their left shoulder, To Keep Away The Devil. Her husband was in the IRA and they housed radical members of Sinn Féin in their attic."
"I have noticed that many of the young men in Donegal have shaking hands. [...] I ask my mother what it is that makes them shake. 'It'll be the drink,' she says, sagely."
"He wanted to dance to music and to enjoy the delicate nuance of spoken language. He learned the way that putting feelings into words and out into the world could ease the pressure inside, like letting air out of a balloon."
“I felt confused by love; the way it could simultaneously trap you and set you free. How it could bring people impossibly close and then push them far away. How people who loved you could leave you when you needed them most.�
“I was an astronaut, the room was a galaxy, and gravity pulled everything towards the biggest and brightest planet, stardust caught in her hair and the moon reflected in her bottle of beer. I would forever be in her orbit, moving towards her and pulling away while she quietly controlled the tides, anchoring me to something as the universe expanded further and further away from us.�
“I am so drawn to difficult things. I am always travelling far away from the people I love. I am constantly searching for something that I cannot articulate, uprooting and disappearing based on an abstract feeling in the pit of my belly. What if it was not the right thing to leave London? What if this is not the right way to live? Perhaps it is better to want tangible things, like bodies and objects. Everything I want is invisible. Do invisible things have worth?�
“At first, I thought that a reluctance to relinquish the past was a refusal to acknowledge the passing of time. Now I understand it more as a symbol of temporality and a reminder that there are layers of lived experience crisscrossing the surfaces of our lives, invisible to us. There is room for everything here. There are traces of the past in the present and there is space for the future, too.�
”It begins with our bodies. Skin on skin. My body burst from yours. Safe together in the violet dark and yet already there are spaces beginning to open between us.�