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Not Just a Tomboy
LONGLISTED FOR THE POLARI FIRST BOOK PRIZE 2019 'Strong, powerful and a valuable resource' - Fox Fisher
This is the story of one trans man's exploration of gender identity, set against changing cultural attitudes from the 90s to the present day. Caspar Baldwin grew up in a time when being trans was not widely accepted by society, and though progress has been made since then, trans men are still underrepresented and misunderstood. Grappling with the messy realities of gender expectations while giving a stark and moving account of his own experiences, Baldwin grants a nuanced understanding of what it's like to be a trans boy or man. With its unflinching portrayal of the vulnerability, confusion, dysphoria, empowerment, peace and joy that are all part of the transition process, this book provides an invaluable support for trans men and is a memoir that breaks the mould.
This is the story of one trans man's exploration of gender identity, set against changing cultural attitudes from the 90s to the present day. Caspar Baldwin grew up in a time when being trans was not widely accepted by society, and though progress has been made since then, trans men are still underrepresented and misunderstood. Grappling with the messy realities of gender expectations while giving a stark and moving account of his own experiences, Baldwin grants a nuanced understanding of what it's like to be a trans boy or man. With its unflinching portrayal of the vulnerability, confusion, dysphoria, empowerment, peace and joy that are all part of the transition process, this book provides an invaluable support for trans men and is a memoir that breaks the mould.
248 pages, Paperback
Published November 21, 2018
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585 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
February 19, 2023
it really hurts me to have to give a trans memoir 2 stars but i just have to be honest with this. i was really hoping that maybe this was a book that's good and informative for cis people while redundant for trans people (a scenario in which i might've given this 3 stars instead) but instead this memoir was incredibly naive and too optimistic in liberal reform as a form of trans liberation.
just to get this out of the way because nearly every critical review on here touches on this but, yes, the book is not very well written as the author tends to repeat himself and meander too much. he is okay at recounting his own life experiences and feelings with gender and dysphoria, but when it comes to talking about gender and trans people more broadly, he fails to concisely and strongly state his thesis (which in my opinion shouldn't be necessary in a memoir in the first place which makes me question why he was trying to make broad political claims at all). i can give some grace to the poor writing given that he stated in the intro that he is not a writer and this is his first and only book.... okay but where was the editor?? i actually laughed out loud at the typo "rest bite" instead of "respite". what actually frustrates me about this being his first and only book is that he was called to write his story after an open call asking for more transmasculine stories to be written and published.. why wasn't someone else picked then? not just based on writing abilities but mostly because this was an open call and they picked someone with a considerable amount of privilege and just enough cis-palatability. oh the public healthcare waiting list is too long for hormones and surgery? i'll just pay out of pocket for private hrt and top surgery and binders and a personal trainer! oh no i brought my parents to this trans support group and now this trans woman is being "too angry" so now are they going to think poorly of me? no worries! the police will just come and take that trans woman away and now we can resume our polite and calm conversation!
that last bit alone is enough to make me dislike this author/book. way too friendly towards cops. way too friendly towards the harry potter franchise (british millennial). way too friendly towards the state being the epicenter of all trans liberation (don't worry guys! the government will say its okay to be trans so soon! *eye roll*). in one of the first chapters the author claims that one of the most pressing issues for the trans community is the unnecessary gendering of toys!! LIKE GIVE ME A BREAK!!! at least 22 trans women were murdered in the year this was published but yeah the *most* *pressing* issue is gendered toys..... sorry i don't mean for this to sound like it is all a big competition and having more trans stories out there is a good thing.. except that this was an open writing call and this person is pro-police and pro-state so i just don't think this will actually benefit many trans people in the long run!
just to get this out of the way because nearly every critical review on here touches on this but, yes, the book is not very well written as the author tends to repeat himself and meander too much. he is okay at recounting his own life experiences and feelings with gender and dysphoria, but when it comes to talking about gender and trans people more broadly, he fails to concisely and strongly state his thesis (which in my opinion shouldn't be necessary in a memoir in the first place which makes me question why he was trying to make broad political claims at all). i can give some grace to the poor writing given that he stated in the intro that he is not a writer and this is his first and only book.... okay but where was the editor?? i actually laughed out loud at the typo "rest bite" instead of "respite". what actually frustrates me about this being his first and only book is that he was called to write his story after an open call asking for more transmasculine stories to be written and published.. why wasn't someone else picked then? not just based on writing abilities but mostly because this was an open call and they picked someone with a considerable amount of privilege and just enough cis-palatability. oh the public healthcare waiting list is too long for hormones and surgery? i'll just pay out of pocket for private hrt and top surgery and binders and a personal trainer! oh no i brought my parents to this trans support group and now this trans woman is being "too angry" so now are they going to think poorly of me? no worries! the police will just come and take that trans woman away and now we can resume our polite and calm conversation!
that last bit alone is enough to make me dislike this author/book. way too friendly towards cops. way too friendly towards the harry potter franchise (british millennial). way too friendly towards the state being the epicenter of all trans liberation (don't worry guys! the government will say its okay to be trans so soon! *eye roll*). in one of the first chapters the author claims that one of the most pressing issues for the trans community is the unnecessary gendering of toys!! LIKE GIVE ME A BREAK!!! at least 22 trans women were murdered in the year this was published but yeah the *most* *pressing* issue is gendered toys..... sorry i don't mean for this to sound like it is all a big competition and having more trans stories out there is a good thing.. except that this was an open writing call and this person is pro-police and pro-state so i just don't think this will actually benefit many trans people in the long run!
May 14, 2022
This was hard to rate.
On the one hand, I've been looking for trans masculine stories because, as Baldwin writes, they're so often invisible compared to other queer identities. I was also excited for the fact that it centred on an upbringing in 90's onwards UK, with which I identify.
The story was so important. I learnt so much - I'm a cis gay woman, so there was a lot to learn. I finally understand, even just an inkling, the awful ramifications of living long-term with body and gender dysphoria. I'm so happy Baldwin was able to escape that and fulfil his true identity, and my heart breaks for those who for whatever reason cannot reach that same stage. The insight was personal, raw, and emotional.
The other hand is that... this is not a well written book. I hope Baldwin never reads this review because his story needs to be told and I'm glad it's out there, but who the hell edited this?! Fair play to Baldwin because he prefaced the book by saying he is not a writer - so where was the editor?! The grammar was so atrocious I'd have to reread some sentences multiple times to make sense of them. Adverbs were routinely abused. At one point "respite" was written as "rest bite"... I mean... It was bad. So bad that I didn't think I'd finish the book, but I did and I'm glad I did. I'm glad I know Baldwin's life story, and I want other people to read it too... just be prepared for some real brain-wrangling to get through the technical aspect of the writing.
On the one hand, I've been looking for trans masculine stories because, as Baldwin writes, they're so often invisible compared to other queer identities. I was also excited for the fact that it centred on an upbringing in 90's onwards UK, with which I identify.
The story was so important. I learnt so much - I'm a cis gay woman, so there was a lot to learn. I finally understand, even just an inkling, the awful ramifications of living long-term with body and gender dysphoria. I'm so happy Baldwin was able to escape that and fulfil his true identity, and my heart breaks for those who for whatever reason cannot reach that same stage. The insight was personal, raw, and emotional.
The other hand is that... this is not a well written book. I hope Baldwin never reads this review because his story needs to be told and I'm glad it's out there, but who the hell edited this?! Fair play to Baldwin because he prefaced the book by saying he is not a writer - so where was the editor?! The grammar was so atrocious I'd have to reread some sentences multiple times to make sense of them. Adverbs were routinely abused. At one point "respite" was written as "rest bite"... I mean... It was bad. So bad that I didn't think I'd finish the book, but I did and I'm glad I did. I'm glad I know Baldwin's life story, and I want other people to read it too... just be prepared for some real brain-wrangling to get through the technical aspect of the writing.
November 10, 2022
As other reviewers have said, this book is written by an amateur writer and could have done with a hella lot more editing, if any was done at all.
This is the least of my worries though, given this may be true for the author but this one trans narrative, it is sad that he felt he needed to write this due to there being so few other narratives available for readers to explore this topic. Throughout there is SO much gendering of everything going on, and not just through commenting on other people's treatment of him, but mainly in his description of his feelings as a child. The narrative of trans people 'having always known' is one narrative and certainly not the only one. The point he mentioned being 'critical' that there is a distinct difference between 'tomboys like me' and 'girls that like boy things' walks straight into the binary stereotype and is probably very damaging folks questioning gender.
This is the least of my worries though, given this may be true for the author but this one trans narrative, it is sad that he felt he needed to write this due to there being so few other narratives available for readers to explore this topic. Throughout there is SO much gendering of everything going on, and not just through commenting on other people's treatment of him, but mainly in his description of his feelings as a child. The narrative of trans people 'having always known' is one narrative and certainly not the only one. The point he mentioned being 'critical' that there is a distinct difference between 'tomboys like me' and 'girls that like boy things' walks straight into the binary stereotype and is probably very damaging folks questioning gender.
December 31, 2022
As a trans masculine person myself I really wanted to enjoy this book but unfortunately, like others have pointed out, it is really badly edited and the author has a tendency to ramble a bit too much at points. It's a shame because we don't get many books on the trans masculine experience.
January 13, 2021
4.5 rounded up because my only issue was with some of the actual technical writing, I felt like it could have had another edit.
Really important book to read. I'm a cis woman who wore 'boy clothes' and had short hair for a large chunk of my childhood - I was 'girly' enough to never be called a tomboy, but it's always engraged me how certain anti-trans groups have whined about how supporting trans people is going to reinforce harmful gender stereotypes or force girls into thinking they're boys just because they don't like pink. An absolutely eye-roll-inducing line of rhetoric that I hope this book (and the many testimonies of other trans men, including gay trans men and trans men with typically 'feminine' interests) can put to rest.
Really important book to read. I'm a cis woman who wore 'boy clothes' and had short hair for a large chunk of my childhood - I was 'girly' enough to never be called a tomboy, but it's always engraged me how certain anti-trans groups have whined about how supporting trans people is going to reinforce harmful gender stereotypes or force girls into thinking they're boys just because they don't like pink. An absolutely eye-roll-inducing line of rhetoric that I hope this book (and the many testimonies of other trans men, including gay trans men and trans men with typically 'feminine' interests) can put to rest.
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May 3, 2021needs an editor or a better editor.
November 20, 2024
I learned so much from this book about the daily pain transmasculine people can face. While previously I had sympathized with the fact that so many transgender folks succumb to suicide, I had not understood the grueling dysphoria and battles these folks can go through - despite being a non-binary trans person myself!
Now I feel like I understand. Thank you, Caspar.
However, this book was a slog. One of my biggest complaints is the neverending run-on sentences! Additionally, it fails as a relatable, precise memoir.
I knew I was reading about a transgender man - but I could not grasp Caspar as a person, nor his friends and family. He simply doesn't describe them well or at all. For example: While Caspar speaks of his post-secondary life quite a bit for the last third of the book, I didn't know what he was actually passionate about studying (genetics) until 40 pages from the end. He describes his brother as kind a few times, but only gives one example in a quick throw-away line near the end of the book. Why didn't we hear about such a meaningful moment earlier and with more tenderness?
A lot of his emotional journey is told in stale metaphors. He glosses over major parts of his journey while focusing hard on certain forms of dysphoria. And he simply doesn't give any details.
While it's a brave memoir in many ways, it also feels like the author could not open himself enough to readers to form a real relatability. I understand he must be protecting himself - but these flaws destroyed the beauty of what could have been a moving and brilliant memoir.
Now I feel like I understand. Thank you, Caspar.
However, this book was a slog. One of my biggest complaints is the neverending run-on sentences! Additionally, it fails as a relatable, precise memoir.
I knew I was reading about a transgender man - but I could not grasp Caspar as a person, nor his friends and family. He simply doesn't describe them well or at all. For example: While Caspar speaks of his post-secondary life quite a bit for the last third of the book, I didn't know what he was actually passionate about studying (genetics) until 40 pages from the end. He describes his brother as kind a few times, but only gives one example in a quick throw-away line near the end of the book. Why didn't we hear about such a meaningful moment earlier and with more tenderness?
A lot of his emotional journey is told in stale metaphors. He glosses over major parts of his journey while focusing hard on certain forms of dysphoria. And he simply doesn't give any details.
While it's a brave memoir in many ways, it also feels like the author could not open himself enough to readers to form a real relatability. I understand he must be protecting himself - but these flaws destroyed the beauty of what could have been a moving and brilliant memoir.
August 30, 2018
I'm glad to read this and I'm glad it exists, as it's I've only really read about trans women. Saying this, I wish Caspar would have talked a little about himself, so I could relate to him outside his struggle to be who he is. Saying that, I'm a cisgendered women, so the book isn't for me. But it helped me understand body dysmorphia and the unnecessary drama that is faced for just using the toilet. The book was one note, as it was all about the struggle. But the struggle is real. And relentless. And for that my heart goes out to all trans people out there.
Some of my quotes and notes:
'I was the type of child who had to find space in their bed to lie down at night (good training for cat ownership)'
Look into The Gender Agenda (Ball and Miller 2017)
'After all, a hundred years ago pink was considered to be for boys and blue for girls (Boulton 2014) which excellently highlights how these rules are totally arbitrary and completely ridiculous.'
'But it wasn't because I hated pink or butterflies or flowers, just that wearing them was so inexplicably linked to the girl gender designation, I couldn't bear it.'
'Girls' trousers should be figure accentuating, contoured to your lines because it's all about maximizing your looks, even in your school uniform.'
'The girls in this class of seven-year-olds were almost all of the opinion that boys were better and really the only thing in which girls could claim to be top was in 'being pretty'.'
Some of my quotes and notes:
'I was the type of child who had to find space in their bed to lie down at night (good training for cat ownership)'
Look into The Gender Agenda (Ball and Miller 2017)
'After all, a hundred years ago pink was considered to be for boys and blue for girls (Boulton 2014) which excellently highlights how these rules are totally arbitrary and completely ridiculous.'
'But it wasn't because I hated pink or butterflies or flowers, just that wearing them was so inexplicably linked to the girl gender designation, I couldn't bear it.'
'Girls' trousers should be figure accentuating, contoured to your lines because it's all about maximizing your looks, even in your school uniform.'
'The girls in this class of seven-year-olds were almost all of the opinion that boys were better and really the only thing in which girls could claim to be top was in 'being pretty'.'
January 13, 2021
Eye Opening
I'm a lot more aware of transgender people's issues than most people; 2 of my close friends are trans-masculine, and for one of them I have been around since the beginning of their hormone treatment over a year ago *I'm also trans masculine now, the company you keep... you might be for reason lmao*. Despite that, this book was still eye opening, and still very much worth reading. It helped dispel some of those thoughts I have at the back of my mind that make me think "perhaps it isn't necessary to transition, but if it makes them happy..." (*for people who need to transition, not everyone wants to and transition is not necessary for a person to be trans*) Read this book and you'll realise it is actually incredibly necessary. It is also full of references which I find very comforting, and also helps to get rid of those knee-jerk TERF-y thoughts that I'm susceptible to when things like reforms to the Gender Recognition Act etc come up.
Baldwin, however, is quite obviously not a writer, and I think this book would've been better if he'd written in a more anecdotal style for his memories and saved the slightly more academic style for when he was saying academic things. It felt too formal and made me feel a bit removed from the narrator. Despite this, the book is still a very good read and I absolutely recommend it to anyone, whether they have previous experience with the issues trans people face, or none at all.
I'm a lot more aware of transgender people's issues than most people; 2 of my close friends are trans-masculine, and for one of them I have been around since the beginning of their hormone treatment over a year ago *I'm also trans masculine now, the company you keep... you might be for reason lmao*. Despite that, this book was still eye opening, and still very much worth reading. It helped dispel some of those thoughts I have at the back of my mind that make me think "perhaps it isn't necessary to transition, but if it makes them happy..." (*for people who need to transition, not everyone wants to and transition is not necessary for a person to be trans*) Read this book and you'll realise it is actually incredibly necessary. It is also full of references which I find very comforting, and also helps to get rid of those knee-jerk TERF-y thoughts that I'm susceptible to when things like reforms to the Gender Recognition Act etc come up.
Baldwin, however, is quite obviously not a writer, and I think this book would've been better if he'd written in a more anecdotal style for his memories and saved the slightly more academic style for when he was saying academic things. It felt too formal and made me feel a bit removed from the narrator. Despite this, the book is still a very good read and I absolutely recommend it to anyone, whether they have previous experience with the issues trans people face, or none at all.
July 6, 2018
Not Just A Tomboy is the memoir of a trans man growing up in England in the 90s and 00s, exploring gender identity, how gender is treated in childhood and adolescence, and accessing resources and support from the 90s until the present day. Baldwin predominantly reflects on his own life and experiences, but particularly near the end of the book he emphasises a lot of key points about transgender people. At the end, there are references and links for people, whether they need support or are looking to understand further.
The memoir is powerful and engaging, particularly for people who grew up in Britain in a similar time and understand a lot of the shared reference points. In light of current government work around Gender Recognition Act reform, it is important for trans people to share their stories and the importance around accessing services and resources; at the same time, it is always important for memoirs around gender identity to be written and shared, because they help people come to terms with elements of their own identity and force others to think about their and others' experiences.
The memoir is powerful and engaging, particularly for people who grew up in Britain in a similar time and understand a lot of the shared reference points. In light of current government work around Gender Recognition Act reform, it is important for trans people to share their stories and the importance around accessing services and resources; at the same time, it is always important for memoirs around gender identity to be written and shared, because they help people come to terms with elements of their own identity and force others to think about their and others' experiences.
August 1, 2018
I would like to thank Jessica Kingsley Publishers and NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read ‘Not Just A Tomboy� in exchange for my honest unbiased review.
A book that takes you on Casper’s journey through his life knowing that he was born the wrong body. It goes through the highs and lows of his life from childhood.
I was really hooked to this book, I wanted Casper to get some form of clarity and for him to be the person that he wants to be.
A book that takes you on Casper’s journey through his life knowing that he was born the wrong body. It goes through the highs and lows of his life from childhood.
I was really hooked to this book, I wanted Casper to get some form of clarity and for him to be the person that he wants to be.
June 8, 2019
An educational read into the journey of a trans man in the UK.
Admittedly, the book is also quite statistical and that was where it lost me for a bit - usually not big on nor good with numbers and stats, more into the human interest aspect so this was slight "textbookish" in parts.
But definitely heartening that there are more LGBTQ reading materials, fiction and probably more so of non-fiction accounts of personal struggles from the LGBTQs.
Admittedly, the book is also quite statistical and that was where it lost me for a bit - usually not big on nor good with numbers and stats, more into the human interest aspect so this was slight "textbookish" in parts.
But definitely heartening that there are more LGBTQ reading materials, fiction and probably more so of non-fiction accounts of personal struggles from the LGBTQs.
August 31, 2021
This memoir balance personal experience with statistics and studies
Memoirs are hard to review and this won't be like my normal book reviews
I did find a lot of similarities between my own experiences as a trans man and the author, which is always great to feel like you're not alone in your experiences
You don't need to be trans to read this book and I think it would be great for someone who wants to read more books by trans masc people. Whether you're trans or not
The writing flicks between being like a casual conversation with the authors views and experiences, to being more formal with case studies as statistics
Sometimes the events jumped around a bit, and sometimes I found myself read back on paragraphs because the age of the author suddenly changes and flicks back
I did really enjoy this book and I found it to be a fairly quick read with the authors style of writing, however sometimes I felt like it could have used a little more editing
Memoirs are hard to review and this won't be like my normal book reviews
I did find a lot of similarities between my own experiences as a trans man and the author, which is always great to feel like you're not alone in your experiences
You don't need to be trans to read this book and I think it would be great for someone who wants to read more books by trans masc people. Whether you're trans or not
The writing flicks between being like a casual conversation with the authors views and experiences, to being more formal with case studies as statistics
Sometimes the events jumped around a bit, and sometimes I found myself read back on paragraphs because the age of the author suddenly changes and flicks back
I did really enjoy this book and I found it to be a fairly quick read with the authors style of writing, however sometimes I felt like it could have used a little more editing
January 14, 2020
I was unable to post a review when I first finished this book but upon looking now I am able to. First off, I'd like to thank Netgalley and the publishers for giving me the opportunity to read this arc and I apologise for the late feedback on it.
This memoir discusses many trans issues that people may not know, from the transitioning process to society's outlook on the transgender community. It was very educational but also sometimes too statistical and too informative for me personally. Due to this, I felt some parts dragged on when reading.
This book is perfect for those who want to learn more and/or educate themself or someone they know on the LGBT+ community. The memoir itself is easy to digest, and I recommend it to everyone as a chance to read more about the community through this person's encounters.
This memoir discusses many trans issues that people may not know, from the transitioning process to society's outlook on the transgender community. It was very educational but also sometimes too statistical and too informative for me personally. Due to this, I felt some parts dragged on when reading.
This book is perfect for those who want to learn more and/or educate themself or someone they know on the LGBT+ community. The memoir itself is easy to digest, and I recommend it to everyone as a chance to read more about the community through this person's encounters.
July 2, 2021
Not just a tomboy by Caspar Baldwin resonated with my journey of becoming a man. His dysphoria was quite debilitating as he grew up with parents and friends wanting him to show his femininity. I too went to an all girls school but always felt I was on the outer. I tried sex with men but it's women with whom I have an emotional attachment even though I can't be the man with a penis with them. As one of our pshrinks said, get a dildo. I am sitting here with a vibrating dildo inside and out because I feel the constant need to be stimulated. I am addicted to porn and love being the man and the woman in the videos. I have a box full of vibrators and dildoes and use a sex worker to try them out on. It works for me. Thanks Caspar for sharing. Hope you find a partner to have sex with.
January 7, 2020
This was a really hard and depressing read for me, as it mirrored my experiences so closely, even down to the IBS. However, it really shines a light on what the transmasculine (also afab nonbinary) experience is. The author perfectly demonstrates the devastating reality of dysphoria, going through anti-trans laws and medical hoops, and the strife trans and nonbinary folk experience day to day.
All people should read this book.
All people should read this book.
August 9, 2022
A lot of what he wrote in the book, I felt deep down. I was born in 1990 and recently came out as transgender (FTM). What Casper experienced as a child, it was like I was reliving my childhood through his words. I really enjoyed it. A good read for those who grew up as ‘tomboys� or anyone who is in the LGBT community, including allies. :)
August 22, 2023
Loved it! I think the combination of Britishness and honesty made it a fantastic read. I really struggled at the start, ironically because of similar jealousy you experienced with James, in how obviously trans and masculine you were from a young age. Made me jealous that I didn't. But the joy you found through hormones and surgery, and the epilogue is everything!!
July 11, 2019
A well-written and easy to digest memoir of the life of a transgender man. Baldwin does a great job of explaining context, history and terminology, so I would definitely recommend it to folks trying to help cis people relate to the trans experience, even if they havent been exposed to the culture.
December 27, 2018
Well-written and well-referenced book. Not often I read non-fiction and I would recommend reading this.
January 4, 2019
A personal account of experiences fairly typical for trans men in the early 21st century - but not often available to people outside trans communities.
August 5, 2019
Brilliant, whether you're trans, another part of the LGBT or an ally you should read this
November 8, 2019
An interesting read and a better understanding for the agony that trans men are faced with, particularly growing up. A well written and honest account.
February 2, 2020
The writing was good but not fantastic. The story, though, is brave and necessary. Recommended reading.
July 14, 2021
This book made me feel seen and less alone. An amazing book for any transmasc or questioning people and their friends and families. We need more voices like this out there.
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October 6, 2022Personal and revealing of inner sacrifice, struggle and everyday pain.
February 16, 2024
I was overpowered by this remarkable and intelligent book which went in detail into the life of an extraordinary Trans man.
September 25, 2024
Poorly written book with excessive detours into self-conscious lectures about social issues, not a good book for other trans people or for anyone wanting to learn about gender dysphoria.
September 27, 2020
Baldwin’s memoir is the only book I’ve read detailing gender dysphoria and transition for a trans man. Baldwin brings up a point I hadn’t considered, but that rings true in my experience: trans men are not talked about nearly as often as trans women. When I consider my experiences with media and books, that falls in line. I’ve read Janet Mock’s Redefining Realness, I’ve seen Laverne Cox on TV, even Caitlyn Jenner has come across my feed, but there are far fewer accounts of trans men that make it into the limelight of pop culture. I believe that in and of itself makes a case that we need to hear more and see more from trans men in addition to those we are finally hearing from trans women. We need those voices published and shared, not quieted.
Now for a deep dive into this book. Overall, I enjoyed Baldwin’s memoir. I appreciated its importance in helping broaden my world view, I appreciate his courage to dive into his past and share his experience. That being said, this book is pretty sad. There are few moments of happiness to split up the horrible oppressive feelings that Baldwin had constantly. There are discussions of laws proposed to hurt trans rights that just continue to feel more and more hopeless. This does not make this a bad book by any stretch, but it does make it hard to read at times.
I value this experience, though. The experience of reading how hopeless someone could feel about their body for so long gives me a new level of empathy towards people suffering from gender dysphoria. The thoughts and emotions can be seemingly relentless, and Baldwin did an excellent job of translating that into his writing.
Another important piece that Baldwin is very clear about, is that he’s not trying to write for all trans people, and not trying to extrapolate his experience onto experiences trans women face. He is rather trying to write his experience and share pieces of himself so that others might find solidarity. He’s calling attention to the fact that there is not much attention by mainstream culture given to trans men, and he is putting his singular experience out there.
There were also times when he did ramble on about laws and then notice (in writing) that he was talking about legislation that primarily targeted trans women in their discourse. For example, talking about bathroom laws. Bathroom laws and bills, those billed to be exclusionary to trans women and prevent trans women from using women’s facilities, often disregard the fact that in doing so they are simultaneously saying that trans men should only be permitted to use women’s facilities. Baldwin draws attention to the backwards nature of many of these arguments.
Finally, I want to say also that although the section on male privilege is short, I am glad Baldwin wrote about it. He talks about male privilege as it relates to how he noticed himself being treated before his transition and after his transition. This gender binary continues to hold all of us down in so many ways.
I received this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Now for a deep dive into this book. Overall, I enjoyed Baldwin’s memoir. I appreciated its importance in helping broaden my world view, I appreciate his courage to dive into his past and share his experience. That being said, this book is pretty sad. There are few moments of happiness to split up the horrible oppressive feelings that Baldwin had constantly. There are discussions of laws proposed to hurt trans rights that just continue to feel more and more hopeless. This does not make this a bad book by any stretch, but it does make it hard to read at times.
I value this experience, though. The experience of reading how hopeless someone could feel about their body for so long gives me a new level of empathy towards people suffering from gender dysphoria. The thoughts and emotions can be seemingly relentless, and Baldwin did an excellent job of translating that into his writing.
Another important piece that Baldwin is very clear about, is that he’s not trying to write for all trans people, and not trying to extrapolate his experience onto experiences trans women face. He is rather trying to write his experience and share pieces of himself so that others might find solidarity. He’s calling attention to the fact that there is not much attention by mainstream culture given to trans men, and he is putting his singular experience out there.
There were also times when he did ramble on about laws and then notice (in writing) that he was talking about legislation that primarily targeted trans women in their discourse. For example, talking about bathroom laws. Bathroom laws and bills, those billed to be exclusionary to trans women and prevent trans women from using women’s facilities, often disregard the fact that in doing so they are simultaneously saying that trans men should only be permitted to use women’s facilities. Baldwin draws attention to the backwards nature of many of these arguments.
Finally, I want to say also that although the section on male privilege is short, I am glad Baldwin wrote about it. He talks about male privilege as it relates to how he noticed himself being treated before his transition and after his transition. This gender binary continues to hold all of us down in so many ways.
I received this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
September 4, 2024
do you know, i walked in expecting to hate this based on the other reviews. take one look at mine and you’ll see i’m fairly scathing, even about books i enjoyed. no typo or missed semi colon goes unnoticed.
however, this book was really not that bad, and i’m shocked everyone is so surprised at the poor quality writing and typos because like� have you read any other trans author??? they all do this.. juno roche� juno dawson� travis alabanza� etc� it’s such a shame, but i will always be hanging onto hope of a trans author that can really write. because they deserve attention� just not for this shit. (in his defence, harry nicholas goes hard).
the section about the bathroom bills was immaculately argued and made some points even i hadn’t thought of.
a lot of the book rambled on in somewhat unnecessary detail about his childhood friends� dogs and stuff, but whatever.
the epilogue also had some greatly structured and argued points, but went on way too long, especially towards the final chapters.
however, this book was really not that bad, and i’m shocked everyone is so surprised at the poor quality writing and typos because like� have you read any other trans author??? they all do this.. juno roche� juno dawson� travis alabanza� etc� it’s such a shame, but i will always be hanging onto hope of a trans author that can really write. because they deserve attention� just not for this shit. (in his defence, harry nicholas goes hard).
the section about the bathroom bills was immaculately argued and made some points even i hadn’t thought of.
a lot of the book rambled on in somewhat unnecessary detail about his childhood friends� dogs and stuff, but whatever.
the epilogue also had some greatly structured and argued points, but went on way too long, especially towards the final chapters.
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