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624 pages, Paperback
First published June 1, 2006
鈥淭here鈥檚 no freedom quite like the freedom of being constantly underestimated.鈥�
鈥淵ou're one third bad intentions, one third pure avarice, and one eighth sawdust. What's left, I'll credit, must be brains.鈥�
鈥淲e鈥檙e a different sort of thief here, Lamora. Deception and misdirection are our tools. We don鈥檛 believe in hard work when a false face and a good line of bullshit can do so much more.鈥�
鈥淭o us 鈥� richer and cleverer than everyone else!鈥�
鈥淪omeday, Locke Lamora,鈥� he said, 鈥渟omeday, you鈥檙e going to fuck up so magnificently, so ambitiously, so overwhelmingly听that the sky will light up and the moons will spin and the gods themselves will shit comets with glee. And I just hope I鈥檓 still around to see it.鈥�
鈥淥h please,鈥� said Locke. 鈥淚t鈥檒l never happen.鈥�
鈥淪ome day, Locke Lamora,鈥� he said, 鈥渟ome day, you鈥檙e going to fuck up so magnificently, so ambitiously, so overwhelmingly that the sky will light up and the moons will spin and the gods themselves will shit comets with glee. And I just hope that I鈥檓 still around to see it.鈥�-----------------------------------------------------
"There鈥檚 no freedom quite like the freedom of being constantly underestimated."Locke Lamora is a Gentleman Bastard who doesn't care much about becoming rich. So why does he steal on a truly grandiose scale? Of course, "because it's heaps of fucking fun." And because he is not a fan of nobles feeling invincible just because they are nobles. He loves being a Thorn in their side and giving them the taste of their own medicine.
"Sometimes I think this whole city was put here simply because the gods must adore crime. Pickpockets rob the common folk, merchants rob anyone they can dupe, Capa Barsavi robs the robbers and the common folk, the lesser nobles rob nearly everyone, and Duke Nicovante occasionally runs off with his army and robs the shit out of Tal Verarr or Jerem, not to mention what he does to his own nobles and his common folk.鈥�Locke is a proverbial smartass. He is stubborn, clever, and disrespectful. Basically, he has a knack for attracting trouble. After all, someone has already paid for his death before Locke even turned eight. He is not so great with weapons - unless you count wits, sheer tenacity, and enormous disrespect for authority. What he IS great with is friendship. He gets by with a little help from his friends, so to say.
鈥淚 don't have to beat you. I don't have to beat you, motherfucker. I just have to keep you here... until Jean shows up.鈥�Locke Lamora has only one BERSERK BUTTON (unless you also count a certain redhead) - DO.NOT.MESS.WITH.HIS.FRIENDS. Seriously, you don't want Locke Lamora pissed at you. And that's what I really adored about this book - the depiction of honest, strong friendships between Locke and his gang. Formerly a bunch of misfits, they have formed strong bonds of friendship that will only be broken by death. They always have each other's back, no matter what the situation is. Locke and Jean Tannen have the best bromance ever since Joey and Chandler or Turk and JD.
鈥淚 can't wait to have words with the Gray King when this shit is all finished," Locke whispered. "There's a few things I want to ask him. Philosophical questions. Like, 'How does it feel to be dangled out a window by a rope tied around your balls, motherfucker?鈥�
鉂滻 only steal because it鈥檚 heaps of fucking fun!鉂�
鈥淗ard lessons were handed out. As many men learned to their sorrow, it鈥檚 impossible to be intimidating when one angry woman has your cock between her teeth and another is holding a stiletto to your kidneys.鈥�
鈥淗aven鈥檛 you ever heard that one before? Your Capa Barsavi, he鈥檚 not from Camorr, originally. Taught at the Therin Collegium. So, when he drags someone in for a talking-to, that鈥檚 鈥榚tiquette lessons.鈥� And when he ties them up and makes them talk, that鈥檚 鈥榮inging lessons.鈥� And when he cuts their throats and throws them in the bay for the sharks鈥︹€�
鈥淥h,鈥� said Jean, 鈥淚 guess that鈥檇 be teeth lessons. I get it.鈥�
鈥淎 manifestation straight from the ass of a magnificent liar,鈥�
鈥溾€� and this is the card you picked. The six of spires,鈥� said Calo, holding up a card and displaying it for the entrance-hall guards.
鈥淔uck me,鈥� said one of them, 鈥渢hat鈥檚 sorcery.鈥� 鈥淣ah, it鈥檚 just the old Sanza touch.鈥�
鈥淐hains used to claim that there鈥檚 no freedom quite like the freedom of being constantly underestimated,鈥� said Locke.
鈥淕ods, yes.鈥� Calo rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue. 鈥淚f we were any freer we鈥檇 float away into the sky and fly like the birds.鈥�
"Locke is like a brother to us, and our love for him has no bounds. But the four most fatal words in the Therin language are 'Locke would appreciate it.' "Locke and his gang gleefully plan and execute elaborate cons to swindle the rich nobility in their city of their gold, for no real reason other than their love of putting one over on other people (the money they get mostly sits around their hideout unused) and because this is what their mentor raised them to do.
"Rivaled only by 'Locke taught me a new trick,' " added Galdo.
"The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games鈥�"
"鈥攊s Locke Lamora鈥�"
"鈥攂ecause we think the gods are saving him up for a really big death. Something with knives and hot irons鈥�"
"鈥攁nd fifty thousand cheering spectators."
The brothers cleared their throats in unison.