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Loop
Loop is a love story narrated from the point of view of a woman who waits for her boyfriend Jonás to return from a trip to Spain. They met when she was recovering from an accident and he had just lost his mother. Soon after that, they were living together. She waits for him as a sort of contemporary Penelope who, instead of knitting only to then un-knit, she writes and erases her thoughts in a notebook: Proust, a dwarf, a swallow, a dreamy cat or David Bowie singing ‘Wild is the Wind�, make up some of the strands that are woven together in this tapestry of longing and waiting.
Written in a sometimes irreverent style, in short fragments that at points are more like haikus than conventional narrative prose, this is a truly original reflection on love, relationships, solitude and the aesthetics and purpose of writing.
Written in a sometimes irreverent style, in short fragments that at points are more like haikus than conventional narrative prose, this is a truly original reflection on love, relationships, solitude and the aesthetics and purpose of writing.
185 pages, Paperback
First published April 12, 2014
68 people are currently reading
3,366 people want to read
About the author
Brenda Lozano
20books298followers Brenda Lozano nació en la ciudad de México en 1981. Narradora y ensayista, colabora en Letras Libres, entre otras publicaciones. Estudió Literatura Latinoamericana. Ha sido becaria del programa Jóvenes Creadores del Fondo Nacional para la Cultura y las Artes. Ha sido antologada en diversas ocasiones. Todo nada (Tusquets, 2009) es su primera novela.
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October 28, 2024
En son ne zaman beni bu kadar heyecanlandıran bir metin okuduğumu hatırlamıyorum. Nefis, nefis, nefis bir kitap bu. İdeal Defter, 1982 doğumlu Meksikalı yazar Brenda Lozano tarafından 2014’te yazılmış. Bir yazara hem böyle hayranlık duyup hem de kendisiyle arkadaş olmayı arzuladığım hiç olmamıştı � zira bazı cümleleri resmen benim zihnimden geçenlerin aynıları: “Markette Oscar Wilde’� görür gibi oldum. Bir perşembe pazarında Fernando Pessoa’yı meyve seçerken görmüşlüğüm var.� <3
Heyecanlanmamın çok sebebi var: ilki teknik. Lozano, aklından geçenleri sanki çok da çerçevelemeden, günlük tutarmışçasına kağıda döküyor ve fakat okudukça parçalar birleşiyor, ortaya dev bir resim çıkıyor. Annesini kaybedince bir yolculuğa çıkan sevgilisini beklerken ideal defteri arayan bir kadının yazdıkları bunlar. Gözlemler, düşünceler, hisler, içgörüler. Aşk, yas, kimlik. Çok dürüst, çok gerçek, çok içten yazılmış bir metin. Beklemek kadar sabit bir eylemin nasıl yorucu olabileceğini nefis anlatmış Lozano. Durmanın yoruculuğunu.
Dürüst dedim; çünkü derinlikli derinlikli düşünürken birden “seni çok özledim Jonas� diye kesiveriyor metni � aşıkken bunu hangimiz böyle deneyimlemiyoruz ki? İnsanın acı çekerken ve özlerken algılarının ne kadar açık olduğunu, bu sayede dünyadaki komik ve neşeli olan şeyleri de başka türlü fark edebildiğimizi müthiş sade biçimde ortaya koymuş yazar. (Kendi deneyimlerime öyle çok benzettim ki!)
Bugünün edebiyatı tam da bu olmalı işte. Araçsal olmayan, gücünü içtenliğinden ve söyleminin gerçekliğinden alan metinlere ihtiyacımız var. Kahkahalarla gülerek okuduğum bu kitabı bitirince nedense hüngür hüngür ağlamaya başladım � somut bir şeye de değil üstelik, bende yarattığı hissin kuvveti sebep oldu sanırım buna. Çok şaşkın ve çok büyülenmiş durumdayım. Buraya alıntılar ekleyemeyeceğim çünkü neredeyse her sayfanın köşesini kıvırdım, birini seçemeyeceğim kadar çok cümlesini sevdim bu eserin.
Son söz: şunları bulup çıkardığı, dilimize çevirdiği için Notos'a ne kadar teşekkür etsek az. İyi ki varlar.
Heyecanlanmamın çok sebebi var: ilki teknik. Lozano, aklından geçenleri sanki çok da çerçevelemeden, günlük tutarmışçasına kağıda döküyor ve fakat okudukça parçalar birleşiyor, ortaya dev bir resim çıkıyor. Annesini kaybedince bir yolculuğa çıkan sevgilisini beklerken ideal defteri arayan bir kadının yazdıkları bunlar. Gözlemler, düşünceler, hisler, içgörüler. Aşk, yas, kimlik. Çok dürüst, çok gerçek, çok içten yazılmış bir metin. Beklemek kadar sabit bir eylemin nasıl yorucu olabileceğini nefis anlatmış Lozano. Durmanın yoruculuğunu.
Dürüst dedim; çünkü derinlikli derinlikli düşünürken birden “seni çok özledim Jonas� diye kesiveriyor metni � aşıkken bunu hangimiz böyle deneyimlemiyoruz ki? İnsanın acı çekerken ve özlerken algılarının ne kadar açık olduğunu, bu sayede dünyadaki komik ve neşeli olan şeyleri de başka türlü fark edebildiğimizi müthiş sade biçimde ortaya koymuş yazar. (Kendi deneyimlerime öyle çok benzettim ki!)
Bugünün edebiyatı tam da bu olmalı işte. Araçsal olmayan, gücünü içtenliğinden ve söyleminin gerçekliğinden alan metinlere ihtiyacımız var. Kahkahalarla gülerek okuduğum bu kitabı bitirince nedense hüngür hüngür ağlamaya başladım � somut bir şeye de değil üstelik, bende yarattığı hissin kuvveti sebep oldu sanırım buna. Çok şaşkın ve çok büyülenmiş durumdayım. Buraya alıntılar ekleyemeyeceğim çünkü neredeyse her sayfanın köşesini kıvırdım, birini seçemeyeceğim kadar çok cümlesini sevdim bu eserin.
Son söz: şunları bulup çıkardığı, dilimize çevirdiği için Notos'a ne kadar teşekkür etsek az. İyi ki varlar.
March 10, 2023
Kötü diyemesem de maalesef senenin hayal kırıklıkları arasına yerleştirdiğim bir kitap oldu İdeal Defter. Bunda büyük beklentilerle başlamış olmamın payı çok ama aynı zamanda Brenda Lozano'nun hikayesini anlatma şeklini sevdiğimi de söyleyemem.
Oldukça sade bir öyküsü var İdeal Defter'in ki kitapla ilgili beklentimi artıran şeylerden biriydi bu, öykü küçüldükçe yazarın hareket alanı da genişliyor bence, anlatıda yeni şeyler deneyebiliyor. Tabi bu hem yazar hem de okur için tehlikeli bir yol, bazen yazarın yürümeyi tercih ettiği yol bizler için fazla taşlı oluyor ya da yürürken görmekten keyif aldığımız şeyler yazarla ortak olmuyor. Lozano hikayesini anlatıcının tuttuğu yarı günlük yarı not defteri formatında anlatmayı tercih etmiş, sevdiğinin dönmesini bekleyen biri için ne kadar da uygun bir format aslında bu. Beklemenin pasif hali yorucudur, bekleyeni kendini meşgul etmek için bir şeyler yapmaya iter. Penelope örgü örerek geçiriyordu zamanını, anlatıcımız ise yazıyor. Gerçi tam olarak doğru değil bu, kitapta her ne kadar kelimelere yapılan vurgu güçlü olsa da anlatıcımızın asıl kurtarıcısı sevgisini sık sık dile getirdiği arkadaşları. Benim sorunum da formatla değil zaten, formatın sırtını tamamen dayadığı anlatıcı sesle.
Her ne kadar anlatıcının entelektüel birkimini takdir etsem de anlatının bu kadar serbest salınıyor olmasını sevemedim. Zaten aşina olduğum, sevdiğim gerçek bir insnaın günlüğü olsaydı bu muhtemelen daha fazla sevecektim (bknz. Patti Smith kitapları) ancak kurgusal bir karakter bahsedince aynı karşılığı bulamadı bende. Benzeri -ancak daha derli toplu- bir anlatım şekli içeren Zambra kitabı Ağaçların özel Hayatı'nı ise çok sevmiştim mesela, o yüzden bu beğenmeme durumunun çoğunlukla öznel sebeplere dayandığını da kabul ediyorum.
En azından okuması kolay, okuru yormayan bir kitaptı ve bunun için teşekkür ederim yazara. Çeviri de gayet başarılıydı, burada da alkışlar Nergis Gürcihan'a gidiyor. Her yazar bizim için anlatmıyor öyküsünü, bunu da okumadan bilemiyoruz tabi. İdeal Defter benim için yazılmış bir kitap değilmiş.
Oldukça sade bir öyküsü var İdeal Defter'in ki kitapla ilgili beklentimi artıran şeylerden biriydi bu, öykü küçüldükçe yazarın hareket alanı da genişliyor bence, anlatıda yeni şeyler deneyebiliyor. Tabi bu hem yazar hem de okur için tehlikeli bir yol, bazen yazarın yürümeyi tercih ettiği yol bizler için fazla taşlı oluyor ya da yürürken görmekten keyif aldığımız şeyler yazarla ortak olmuyor. Lozano hikayesini anlatıcının tuttuğu yarı günlük yarı not defteri formatında anlatmayı tercih etmiş, sevdiğinin dönmesini bekleyen biri için ne kadar da uygun bir format aslında bu. Beklemenin pasif hali yorucudur, bekleyeni kendini meşgul etmek için bir şeyler yapmaya iter. Penelope örgü örerek geçiriyordu zamanını, anlatıcımız ise yazıyor. Gerçi tam olarak doğru değil bu, kitapta her ne kadar kelimelere yapılan vurgu güçlü olsa da anlatıcımızın asıl kurtarıcısı sevgisini sık sık dile getirdiği arkadaşları. Benim sorunum da formatla değil zaten, formatın sırtını tamamen dayadığı anlatıcı sesle.
Her ne kadar anlatıcının entelektüel birkimini takdir etsem de anlatının bu kadar serbest salınıyor olmasını sevemedim. Zaten aşina olduğum, sevdiğim gerçek bir insnaın günlüğü olsaydı bu muhtemelen daha fazla sevecektim (bknz. Patti Smith kitapları) ancak kurgusal bir karakter bahsedince aynı karşılığı bulamadı bende. Benzeri -ancak daha derli toplu- bir anlatım şekli içeren Zambra kitabı Ağaçların özel Hayatı'nı ise çok sevmiştim mesela, o yüzden bu beğenmeme durumunun çoğunlukla öznel sebeplere dayandığını da kabul ediyorum.
En azından okuması kolay, okuru yormayan bir kitaptı ve bunun için teşekkür ederim yazara. Çeviri de gayet başarılıydı, burada da alkışlar Nergis Gürcihan'a gidiyor. Her yazar bizim için anlatmıyor öyküsünü, bunu da okumadan bilemiyoruz tabi. İdeal Defter benim için yazılmış bir kitap değilmiş.
January 6, 2020
Another fine book from the wonderful Charco Press, this Mexican novel is something of a hybrid of fact, fiction and ideas, with an unconventional love story at its heart. Lozano lists her influences at the end, and it is no surprise that one of them is Pessoa's Book of Disquiet, but this book feels much more structured and readable.
Its starting point is an Ideal notebook (which is both a brand name and an aspiration) that the narrator uses to record her thoughts. Her partner Jonás is mourning his mother and is taking an extended trip to Spain and Portugal, allowing the narrator a comparison with Penelope and Odysseus. The book is full of recurring allusions and becomes quite moving. I can't do justice to it in a review but I came very close to giving it 5 stars.
Its starting point is an Ideal notebook (which is both a brand name and an aspiration) that the narrator uses to record her thoughts. Her partner Jonás is mourning his mother and is taking an extended trip to Spain and Portugal, allowing the narrator a comparison with Penelope and Odysseus. The book is full of recurring allusions and becomes quite moving. I can't do justice to it in a review but I came very close to giving it 5 stars.
January 16, 2022
latin amerikalı yazarların yaratıcılığına şapka çıkarmaya devam ediyorum. meksikalı yazar brenda lozano bekleme sürecini öyle bir romana dönüştürmüş ki�
adını bilmediğimiz anlatıcı büyük bir kaza geçirmiş (ne olduğunu hiçbir zaman öğrenemiyoruz), jonás’ın ise annesi ölmüş. bu iki yaralı ruh aşık olup birlikte yaşamaya başlıyor. ve bir gün jonás ispanyol annesinin izini sürmek için ispanya’ya gidiyor. bu belirsiz sürede anlatıcı ona yazmaya karar veriyor.
işte roman mı günlük mü mektup mu türler arası bir yerde olan bu kitap o yazılanlardan oluşuyor. önce yazmak için ideal defter arayışı, defterlerin önemi, hayattaki yerleri, çizgileri�
kalemler, kurşun, dolmakalem, tükenmez�
insanlar, boyutları, boyutun önemi, cüceler�
arkadaşlar, sanatçılar.
aileler, babalar, kardeşler.
yaşama tutunma.
ö.
ve meksika. ölenler, kayıplar, ilgisiz politikacılar, tedirginlik.
okurken şunu düşündüm. bu ülkede genç bir kadın yazar bu metni bir yayınevine götürse muhtemelen dalga geçilir, arkasından (pek çok erkeğin olduğu ortamlarda) “ağlayarak günlüğüne yazmış� tarzı şakalar yapılır ve tabii ki kitap reddedilirdi.
işte sonra niçin bizde her şey birbirinin aynısı diye dövünüp duruyoruz.
brenda lozana ağlayarak günlüğüne yazmış, evet. ve bu günlük (ki penelope’nin beklerken örüp örüp sökme metaforu çok çok güzel kitapta) uzun süredir okuduğum en güzel aşk metinlerinden biri olmuş.
anlatıcının kaybolması, nerede olduğunu tam bilememesi ve habire sorduğu “yaklaşıyor muyum yoksa uzaklaşıyor muyum� sorusu, ve bambaşka şeylerden bahsederken pat diye “seni özlüyorum jonás� demesi beni minnoş bir aşk meleğine çevirdi.
“seni özlüyorum jonás.
seni özlüyorum.
seni.
öüǰܳ.
öüǰܳ.�
ama bir aşk romanı mı? hiç değil. bir iyileşme, yas, kabullenme, aileyle hesaplaşma romanı.
anlatıcının sevgilisini bekleyen çaresiz bir kadın olduğunu düşünmeyin. pek çok dostu var, tatillere gidiyor, geziyor tozuyor içiyor ama hep özlüyor ve korkuyor jonás geri gelmeyecek diye çünkü aslında hepimiz bir yere tutunmak istiyoruz.
ve önce aralarda bazı satırlar sonlara doğru ise sert paragraflarla oldukça politik bir roman. politikliğini hiç beklemediğiniz yerlerden açıyor. ve meksika politikacıları, kadına şiddeti, ölümleri ve kayıplarıyla ne kadar da bize benziyor :/
benim roman anlayışımdan farklı ama yepyeni ve içtenliğiyle insanı vuran bir kitap “ideal defter�.
bit defter alıp yazı yazma isteğiyle dolup taştıysanız, işte olan olmuş demektir :)
adını bilmediğimiz anlatıcı büyük bir kaza geçirmiş (ne olduğunu hiçbir zaman öğrenemiyoruz), jonás’ın ise annesi ölmüş. bu iki yaralı ruh aşık olup birlikte yaşamaya başlıyor. ve bir gün jonás ispanyol annesinin izini sürmek için ispanya’ya gidiyor. bu belirsiz sürede anlatıcı ona yazmaya karar veriyor.
işte roman mı günlük mü mektup mu türler arası bir yerde olan bu kitap o yazılanlardan oluşuyor. önce yazmak için ideal defter arayışı, defterlerin önemi, hayattaki yerleri, çizgileri�
kalemler, kurşun, dolmakalem, tükenmez�
insanlar, boyutları, boyutun önemi, cüceler�
arkadaşlar, sanatçılar.
aileler, babalar, kardeşler.
yaşama tutunma.
ö.
ve meksika. ölenler, kayıplar, ilgisiz politikacılar, tedirginlik.
okurken şunu düşündüm. bu ülkede genç bir kadın yazar bu metni bir yayınevine götürse muhtemelen dalga geçilir, arkasından (pek çok erkeğin olduğu ortamlarda) “ağlayarak günlüğüne yazmış� tarzı şakalar yapılır ve tabii ki kitap reddedilirdi.
işte sonra niçin bizde her şey birbirinin aynısı diye dövünüp duruyoruz.
brenda lozana ağlayarak günlüğüne yazmış, evet. ve bu günlük (ki penelope’nin beklerken örüp örüp sökme metaforu çok çok güzel kitapta) uzun süredir okuduğum en güzel aşk metinlerinden biri olmuş.
anlatıcının kaybolması, nerede olduğunu tam bilememesi ve habire sorduğu “yaklaşıyor muyum yoksa uzaklaşıyor muyum� sorusu, ve bambaşka şeylerden bahsederken pat diye “seni özlüyorum jonás� demesi beni minnoş bir aşk meleğine çevirdi.
“seni özlüyorum jonás.
seni özlüyorum.
seni.
öüǰܳ.
öüǰܳ.�
ama bir aşk romanı mı? hiç değil. bir iyileşme, yas, kabullenme, aileyle hesaplaşma romanı.
anlatıcının sevgilisini bekleyen çaresiz bir kadın olduğunu düşünmeyin. pek çok dostu var, tatillere gidiyor, geziyor tozuyor içiyor ama hep özlüyor ve korkuyor jonás geri gelmeyecek diye çünkü aslında hepimiz bir yere tutunmak istiyoruz.
ve önce aralarda bazı satırlar sonlara doğru ise sert paragraflarla oldukça politik bir roman. politikliğini hiç beklemediğiniz yerlerden açıyor. ve meksika politikacıları, kadına şiddeti, ölümleri ve kayıplarıyla ne kadar da bize benziyor :/
benim roman anlayışımdan farklı ama yepyeni ve içtenliğiyle insanı vuran bir kitap “ideal defter�.
bit defter alıp yazı yazma isteğiyle dolup taştıysanız, işte olan olmuş demektir :)
August 28, 2021
An unexpected delight. I loved it's meandering way of narrating the inner journey of the anti-hero, the one who waits, and while waiting undergoes their own transformation.
Loop is a kind of anti-hero story, inspired by her thinking about The Odyssey’s Penelope while her lover Odysseus is off on his hero’s quest � of the inner journey of the one who waits, the way that quiet contemplation and observation also reveal understanding and epiphanies.
The narrator is waiting for the return of her boyfriend, who has travelled to Spain after the death of his mother.
His absence coincides with her recovery from an accident, so she has a double experience of waiting, a greater opportunity to observe the familiar and unfamiliar around her, to see patterns, imagine connections, dream and catastrophize.
And then there is her quiet obsession with notebooks, with the "ideal notebook" (the Spanish title of the book), another subject that evolves in her pursuit of it. It’s thought provoking, funny, full of lots of literary and musical references, which I enjoyed listening to while reading and is quite unlike anything else I’ve read.
And there is a nod to Proust. The dude. Who wrote from his bed.
And a jewel of a song, originally sung by Johnny Mathis for the film, plus haunting versions by David Bowie and Nina Simone, Wild is the Wind.
Random observations over time create patterns and themes, and elicit little epiphanies. A celebration of the yin aspect of life, the jewel within.
I highly recommend it if you enjoy plotless narratives that make you think and see meaning in the ordinary. And relate to the little things.
Loop is a kind of anti-hero story, inspired by her thinking about The Odyssey’s Penelope while her lover Odysseus is off on his hero’s quest � of the inner journey of the one who waits, the way that quiet contemplation and observation also reveal understanding and epiphanies.
Odysseus, he of the many twists and turns. Penelope, she of the many twists and turns without moving from her armchair. Weaving the notebook by day, unravelling it by night.
The narrator is waiting for the return of her boyfriend, who has travelled to Spain after the death of his mother.
His absence coincides with her recovery from an accident, so she has a double experience of waiting, a greater opportunity to observe the familiar and unfamiliar around her, to see patterns, imagine connections, dream and catastrophize.
I was left with a scar. I think telling stories is a way of putting a scar into words. Since not all blows or falls leave marks, the words are there, ready to be put together in different ways, anywhere, anytime, in response to any fall, however serious or slight.
And then there is her quiet obsession with notebooks, with the "ideal notebook" (the Spanish title of the book), another subject that evolves in her pursuit of it. It’s thought provoking, funny, full of lots of literary and musical references, which I enjoyed listening to while reading and is quite unlike anything else I’ve read.
And there is a nod to Proust. The dude. Who wrote from his bed.
And a jewel of a song, originally sung by Johnny Mathis for the film, plus haunting versions by David Bowie and Nina Simone, Wild is the Wind.
Random observations over time create patterns and themes, and elicit little epiphanies. A celebration of the yin aspect of life, the jewel within.
I highly recommend it if you enjoy plotless narratives that make you think and see meaning in the ordinary. And relate to the little things.
Dwarf things. Small things. Little things in relation to the norm. Insignificant things. Things with different dimensions. Curiously, the stories I like the most are made up of trivialities. Details. Trifles. These days, people look to what’s big. The big picture, big sales figures, success. Bright lights, interviews, breaking news. Whatever’s famous. Importance judged by fame. Maybe small things are subversive. Living on a modest scale compared to the norm. Maybe the dwarf is the hero of our time.
January 31, 2020
Today I thought about buying wool and knitting needles so I can knit and and unravel while Jonas is coming back from his trip, but then I thought that writing in this notebook is a bit like a wool, because the lines are baby blue and the words, added in cross stitch, could even become socks or a scarf or a doily, and maybe I could unravel it all and then knit it and unravel it again while Jonas is coming back from his trip.
Loop is translated by Annie McDermott from the 2014 original Cuaderno ideal (literally: ideal notebook, a concept that is key to the text) by Brenda Lozano (one of the ) and published by Charco Press:
The resulting book is rather far from a traditional novel, interspersing stories of her relationship with Jonas and her own history (particularly a near-fatal illness), conversations with her friends, parties and literary conferences, musings on literature, various facts she has discovered (I love Wikipedia) aphoristic observations on life, and, in the background, concerns about the increasing violence in her hometown, Mexico City. The text is circular rather than linear with motifs reappearing, themes picked up, chains of association.
She at one point imagines an infomercial for the Ideal notebook (and by extension this novel):
Overworked your writing in your creative writing workshop? Do you write novels you think are shit, composed prose you think is crap? How many balls of paper do you throw in the bin without managing a single line? Then it's time to buy an ideal notebook! To hell with second world war novels, sir; to the devil with historical fiction, madam; forget all those stories about middle-aged European men. Plots come and go, action is secondary. The voice is what matters. Listen to your voice, however it sounds. Practice in the bathroom. Jump up and down a bit first. A-E-I-O-U. Practice in your notebook. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7. Do it again, only this time with your words. One word after another. You don't need to move from your kitchen, all you need is a chair and a table. In fact you only need the notebook. Dare to pick up that pen.
Her touch points include a dwarf she sees in the area on the first page, prompting many musings on size, pop music including an an unnamed Shakira song and David Bowie's Wild is the Wind, her cat, her desire to transform into a swallow, and her own dreams.
But above all, and most impressively, this is a novel rooted in literature.
- the classics of Homer and Ovid (his imagining of Penelope's letter to Odysseus);
- Shakespeare's Coriolanus (Menenius's line: A hundred thousand welcomes. I could weep and I could laugh. I’m happy and sad. Welcome. is a key refrain);
- Kafka, whose own diaries and aphorisms are a model for the text;
- Proust, whose answer to 'favourite bird' in what came to be called inspires her own love for the swallow;
- Pessoa (one side-musing imagines him going into Starbucks and ordering a coffee for each of his heteronyms);
- Emmanuel Bove (the narrator is searching for a copy of his , the only part of the book I've read is the title. I think it's beautiful because it's so simple, which she rather amusingly misunderstands as a tribute to the narrator's close friends);
- Simone Weil (particularly her line the sea is the purest and foulest water: for fish life-sustaining; for me undrinkable and deadly)
- and Latin American greats such as de Assis and Lispector, amongst others.
4 stars
Postscript: great interview here between publisher, author and translator. I particularly like how author and translator answer the same questions independently and in parallel.
Loop is translated by Annie McDermott from the 2014 original Cuaderno ideal (literally: ideal notebook, a concept that is key to the text) by Brenda Lozano (one of the ) and published by Charco Press:
Charco Press focuses on finding outstanding contemporary Latin American literature and bringing it to new readers in the English-speaking world. We aim to act as a cultural and linguistic bridge for you to be able to access a brand new world of fiction that has, until now, been missing from your reading list.Loop consists of entries in the notebook, the Ideal notebook (a hard-to-find brand), of the narrator/writer whose boyfriend, Jonas, has gone on an extended journey to Europe after his mother's death. Waiting for him to return she compares herself to Penelope waiting for Odysseus as Homer's Odyssey, and her writing in this notebook, her stiching and unravelling, to Penelope's similar actions with her shroud.
The resulting book is rather far from a traditional novel, interspersing stories of her relationship with Jonas and her own history (particularly a near-fatal illness), conversations with her friends, parties and literary conferences, musings on literature, various facts she has discovered (I love Wikipedia) aphoristic observations on life, and, in the background, concerns about the increasing violence in her hometown, Mexico City. The text is circular rather than linear with motifs reappearing, themes picked up, chains of association.
She at one point imagines an infomercial for the Ideal notebook (and by extension this novel):
Overworked your writing in your creative writing workshop? Do you write novels you think are shit, composed prose you think is crap? How many balls of paper do you throw in the bin without managing a single line? Then it's time to buy an ideal notebook! To hell with second world war novels, sir; to the devil with historical fiction, madam; forget all those stories about middle-aged European men. Plots come and go, action is secondary. The voice is what matters. Listen to your voice, however it sounds. Practice in the bathroom. Jump up and down a bit first. A-E-I-O-U. Practice in your notebook. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7. Do it again, only this time with your words. One word after another. You don't need to move from your kitchen, all you need is a chair and a table. In fact you only need the notebook. Dare to pick up that pen.
Her touch points include a dwarf she sees in the area on the first page, prompting many musings on size, pop music including an an unnamed Shakira song and David Bowie's Wild is the Wind, her cat, her desire to transform into a swallow, and her own dreams.
But above all, and most impressively, this is a novel rooted in literature.
- the classics of Homer and Ovid (his imagining of Penelope's letter to Odysseus);
- Shakespeare's Coriolanus (Menenius's line: A hundred thousand welcomes. I could weep and I could laugh. I’m happy and sad. Welcome. is a key refrain);
- Kafka, whose own diaries and aphorisms are a model for the text;
- Proust, whose answer to 'favourite bird' in what came to be called inspires her own love for the swallow;
- Pessoa (one side-musing imagines him going into Starbucks and ordering a coffee for each of his heteronyms);
- Emmanuel Bove (the narrator is searching for a copy of his , the only part of the book I've read is the title. I think it's beautiful because it's so simple, which she rather amusingly misunderstands as a tribute to the narrator's close friends);
- Simone Weil (particularly her line the sea is the purest and foulest water: for fish life-sustaining; for me undrinkable and deadly)
- and Latin American greats such as de Assis and Lispector, amongst others.
4 stars
Postscript: great interview here between publisher, author and translator. I particularly like how author and translator answer the same questions independently and in parallel.
October 30, 2022
son zamanlarda çokça övgüyle bahsediliyor diye tatildeyken başlamıştım, dördüncü sayfa civarı vazgeçmiştim okumaktan. ama dzı kitaplığı'nda seçilince tekrar şans vermek istedim.
yazarın ne yapmaya çalıştığını anladığımı düşünüyorum ama bunun iyi bir fikir olduğuna katılmıyorum. birbirinden kopuk, çoğu bağlamsız, "bakın ne kadar çok fikrim var" havası saçan paragrafların her ne kadar bazıları hoşuma gitse de herhangi bir aforizma kitabından ne kadar farkı var düşündürtüyor. bekleme temasını anlıyorum, sürekli penelope'ye referans veriyor yazar ve kitabın benim için ilgi çekici olan nadir anları bunlardı. günlük okumayı sevmiyor değilim, aksine son zamanların en sevdiğim yazarı e.batuman tam bunu yapıyor ama bir yapısal ve tematik bütünlük vaat ederek. burada ise üzerimize fırlatılmış, belli ki yazarın düşündüğü için kendiyle gurur duyduğu fikir parçaları. yazarın fikir parçalarıyla gurur duymasıyla ilgili bir problemim yok, ben de yapıyorum bunu, ama tutup da kitap yazmıyorum. twitter, anonim blog'lar gibi mecralar var mesela bunlar için.
bir de gerçekten "hype"a kapılıp normal bir zamanda okumayacağımız kitapları zaman zaman çok yücelttiğimizi düşünüyorum. bu kitap da onlardan biri gibime geliyor. bayılınacak bir şey göremiyorum.
yazarın ne yapmaya çalıştığını anladığımı düşünüyorum ama bunun iyi bir fikir olduğuna katılmıyorum. birbirinden kopuk, çoğu bağlamsız, "bakın ne kadar çok fikrim var" havası saçan paragrafların her ne kadar bazıları hoşuma gitse de herhangi bir aforizma kitabından ne kadar farkı var düşündürtüyor. bekleme temasını anlıyorum, sürekli penelope'ye referans veriyor yazar ve kitabın benim için ilgi çekici olan nadir anları bunlardı. günlük okumayı sevmiyor değilim, aksine son zamanların en sevdiğim yazarı e.batuman tam bunu yapıyor ama bir yapısal ve tematik bütünlük vaat ederek. burada ise üzerimize fırlatılmış, belli ki yazarın düşündüğü için kendiyle gurur duyduğu fikir parçaları. yazarın fikir parçalarıyla gurur duymasıyla ilgili bir problemim yok, ben de yapıyorum bunu, ama tutup da kitap yazmıyorum. twitter, anonim blog'lar gibi mecralar var mesela bunlar için.
bir de gerçekten "hype"a kapılıp normal bir zamanda okumayacağımız kitapları zaman zaman çok yücelttiğimizi düşünüyorum. bu kitap da onlardan biri gibime geliyor. bayılınacak bir şey göremiyorum.
December 5, 2019
When you read a book which starts off with a smiling dwarf then with a small explanation about the different types of pencil sharpeners, you know you’re in for an interesting read.
Loop is told in a series of paragraphs, like the title of the book, certain themes are returned to constantly. Like the above dwarf and sharpener, Also swallows make repeated appearances, so do Ideal (it’s a type of brand) notebooks, and the type of lines one finds in them.
The book itself is about an unnamed narrator who has survived a life threatening accident. She is also waiting for her her boyfriend Jonás to return from Spain as he has experienced loss. In between the narrator writes down her thoughts in an Ideal notebook.
There are allusions to certain works of literature. The narrator compares herself to Penelope waiting for Odysseus, there references to Borges , Pessoa Proust, Beckett, Ovid, Kafka. However it is David Bowie’s cover of Wild is the wind which palys an important role as the narrator identifies with that track.
Despite the multitude of themes, the one which I felt stood out was the different variations of love from erotic to filial. This topic is cemented in the poignant ending.
Loop was a book that moved me. I liked the way the narrator did not distinguish between small details and off kilter pondering with subjects such as death and longing. Although I am a huge fan of quirky narrators, I thought that Loop’s main protagonist didn’t revel in her weirdness and I did appreciate it. There is a whimsical feel to the book but it never descends into twee naivety.
I cannot praise Loop enough. Any book that stirs me emotionally and in such an economic manner definitely gets kudos from me. A rich novel which affects both the brain and the heart in equal measures.
Many thanks to Charco Press for providing a requested copy of Loop, in exchange for an honest review.
Loop is told in a series of paragraphs, like the title of the book, certain themes are returned to constantly. Like the above dwarf and sharpener, Also swallows make repeated appearances, so do Ideal (it’s a type of brand) notebooks, and the type of lines one finds in them.
The book itself is about an unnamed narrator who has survived a life threatening accident. She is also waiting for her her boyfriend Jonás to return from Spain as he has experienced loss. In between the narrator writes down her thoughts in an Ideal notebook.
There are allusions to certain works of literature. The narrator compares herself to Penelope waiting for Odysseus, there references to Borges , Pessoa Proust, Beckett, Ovid, Kafka. However it is David Bowie’s cover of Wild is the wind which palys an important role as the narrator identifies with that track.
Despite the multitude of themes, the one which I felt stood out was the different variations of love from erotic to filial. This topic is cemented in the poignant ending.
Loop was a book that moved me. I liked the way the narrator did not distinguish between small details and off kilter pondering with subjects such as death and longing. Although I am a huge fan of quirky narrators, I thought that Loop’s main protagonist didn’t revel in her weirdness and I did appreciate it. There is a whimsical feel to the book but it never descends into twee naivety.
I cannot praise Loop enough. Any book that stirs me emotionally and in such an economic manner definitely gets kudos from me. A rich novel which affects both the brain and the heart in equal measures.
Many thanks to Charco Press for providing a requested copy of Loop, in exchange for an honest review.
October 10, 2022
‘Nedense hoşuma giden hikayeler hep küçük şeylerden oluşuyor. Ayrıntılar. Kayda değer olmayan şeyler. Bugünlerde insanlar büyük şeylere ilgi gösteriyor. Büyük mevzular, büyük satışlar, başarı. Işıklar, röportajlar, flaşlar. Meşhur olmak. Şöhrete dayalı önem. Belki de düzeni baltalayan küçük olandır. Normların mütevazı boyutunda yaşayanlar. Belki de bu devrin kahramanı cücelerdir.�
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İdeal Defter de küçük bir kitap aslında, ince, sade. Ama altını çizdiğim nice cümlenin ardından, İdeal Defter’i normların mütevazı boyutlarından ayrı tutmam gerektiğini anladım.
Özlem de böyle bir şey bir yandan. Kitaptaki aşık kadının sevdiğini özlemesinin de boyutu da sınırı da yok.
Mavi çizgileri var ama. Bu çizgileri taşırabiliyor, üzerine yazabiliyor, yazdıklarını silebiliyor. Çünkü ideal bir defter bunu yapmalı. İçinizden geleni kabul etmeli, dalgalarınızı karşılamalı, sıkmadan-boğmadan sarmalı.
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Brenda Lozano’nun İdeal Defter’de yaptığı şey kabına sığmamak. Her duygu olağan rengini yitirmeden duruyor sayfada. Temelde annesinin ölümü üzerine İspanya’ya giden bir adam ve onu bekleyen bir kadın anlatılsa da coşkun dile kayıtsız kalamıyorsunuz.
Sözün özü: çok sevdim.
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Nergis Gürcihan çevirisi, Virgina Elena Patrone kapak tasarımıyla ~
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İdeal Defter de küçük bir kitap aslında, ince, sade. Ama altını çizdiğim nice cümlenin ardından, İdeal Defter’i normların mütevazı boyutlarından ayrı tutmam gerektiğini anladım.
Özlem de böyle bir şey bir yandan. Kitaptaki aşık kadının sevdiğini özlemesinin de boyutu da sınırı da yok.
Mavi çizgileri var ama. Bu çizgileri taşırabiliyor, üzerine yazabiliyor, yazdıklarını silebiliyor. Çünkü ideal bir defter bunu yapmalı. İçinizden geleni kabul etmeli, dalgalarınızı karşılamalı, sıkmadan-boğmadan sarmalı.
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Brenda Lozano’nun İdeal Defter’de yaptığı şey kabına sığmamak. Her duygu olağan rengini yitirmeden duruyor sayfada. Temelde annesinin ölümü üzerine İspanya’ya giden bir adam ve onu bekleyen bir kadın anlatılsa da coşkun dile kayıtsız kalamıyorsunuz.
Sözün özü: çok sevdim.
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Nergis Gürcihan çevirisi, Virgina Elena Patrone kapak tasarımıyla ~
March 9, 2025
Another blind dive into Latin American literature. This book comes to us from the young Mexican writer Brenda Lozano.
When I first started college, there was a gal named Jennifer in my building. Most of the guys I knew thought she was totally hawt. I liked Jennifer just fine, but wasn't attracted to her bruised-nordic-waif looks, and perhaps because I wasn't constantly drooling over her, we became friends. She used to come over and sit in my room while I did my homework, chattering away about whatever came to mind. I would share whatever snacks I had and glance up from what I was working on every so often so she'd know she hadn't lost me, but I wasn't really paying attention. She had a high but strong voice, and to me, not really paying attention, it was like having a songbird in the room with me. We both seemed pleased with the arrangement.
All that by way of preface to Lozano's book, which is a sort of meta exercise about a writer to writes her thoughts down in notebooks; whatever occurs to her. I found my mind wandering as I was reading, but every so often would focus for a while, almost as if Jennifer were reading the book to me. There was significant skill in using small, repetitive thoughts, each paragraph separated from the next, watching her learn some hard lessons about life and love.
Stylistically, I was reminded of the much stronger Feast Days, by Ian MacKenzie. MacKenzie's narrator didn't build meaning through repetition, which compelled me to pay more attention. MacKenzie's book came later, so perhaps he borrowed the scattered-thought technique? Both books ended with the narrator abandoning the isolated-paragraph structure as things long pushed away became unavoidable.
Lozano's method did have its own charm. Perhaps the title 'Loop' refers to the fact that you could drop into and out of this book at any point; there was no real progression of events, and what we learned about the author and her life could have been presented in almost any order. I appreciate that this doubtless far more difficult to do than it seems.
All this introspection is, perhaps, counterproductive, she seemed to be saying. Just go out and carpe diem and don't worry about what it all means. But at the same time, the author herself actually did sit down and get a book written and published -- no small feat. This sort of meta tricksterism isn't really to my taste, but others may appreciate the cleverness of this more than I.
A couple of fun lines:
"Oh, I'm just like all the literature I most despise. Although I do own good books, any bad poem resembles me better."
and
"Last night I heard a bad poet read. As I listened to the soporific verses devoted to his beloved, I felt like I was watching a snail glide from one side of the floor tile to the other. His words were like a long trail of slime."
Annie McDermot's translation was well done, as far as I know.
When I first started college, there was a gal named Jennifer in my building. Most of the guys I knew thought she was totally hawt. I liked Jennifer just fine, but wasn't attracted to her bruised-nordic-waif looks, and perhaps because I wasn't constantly drooling over her, we became friends. She used to come over and sit in my room while I did my homework, chattering away about whatever came to mind. I would share whatever snacks I had and glance up from what I was working on every so often so she'd know she hadn't lost me, but I wasn't really paying attention. She had a high but strong voice, and to me, not really paying attention, it was like having a songbird in the room with me. We both seemed pleased with the arrangement.
All that by way of preface to Lozano's book, which is a sort of meta exercise about a writer to writes her thoughts down in notebooks; whatever occurs to her. I found my mind wandering as I was reading, but every so often would focus for a while, almost as if Jennifer were reading the book to me. There was significant skill in using small, repetitive thoughts, each paragraph separated from the next, watching her learn some hard lessons about life and love.
Stylistically, I was reminded of the much stronger Feast Days, by Ian MacKenzie. MacKenzie's narrator didn't build meaning through repetition, which compelled me to pay more attention. MacKenzie's book came later, so perhaps he borrowed the scattered-thought technique? Both books ended with the narrator abandoning the isolated-paragraph structure as things long pushed away became unavoidable.
Lozano's method did have its own charm. Perhaps the title 'Loop' refers to the fact that you could drop into and out of this book at any point; there was no real progression of events, and what we learned about the author and her life could have been presented in almost any order. I appreciate that this doubtless far more difficult to do than it seems.
All this introspection is, perhaps, counterproductive, she seemed to be saying. Just go out and carpe diem and don't worry about what it all means. But at the same time, the author herself actually did sit down and get a book written and published -- no small feat. This sort of meta tricksterism isn't really to my taste, but others may appreciate the cleverness of this more than I.
A couple of fun lines:
"Oh, I'm just like all the literature I most despise. Although I do own good books, any bad poem resembles me better."
and
"Last night I heard a bad poet read. As I listened to the soporific verses devoted to his beloved, I felt like I was watching a snail glide from one side of the floor tile to the other. His words were like a long trail of slime."
Annie McDermot's translation was well done, as far as I know.
August 10, 2016
Siempre insisto en buscar nuevos nombres en la literatura mexicana, aunque confieso que para mi ha dejado una huella muy difícil de borrar una forma un poco setentera de escribir lo que yo veo como "a lo mexicano". Un poco rebuscada, en las palabras, en las historias, que siempre me causa cierto rechazo. A mi que me hablen de Rulfo, que es de mis escritores mexicanos mas amados, y que me sorprendan sin intentarlo, por favor. Lo siento, soy lectora y creo que puedo exigir aunque sea eso.
A eso voy, a hablar sobre Brenda Lozano y su forma de escribir. Que nada tiene que ver con ese peso de el que hablo, que tiene una voz propia, y que escribe sin esfuerzo, o aparentemente, y que tiene su propia voz. Es lo que todos buscan, supongo, pero no todos lo logran. Los elementos en las historias de Brenda son cercanos a ella, y su mundo, (por lo que leí en su primera novela, y por lo que leo en esta, lo veo ahí) es más cercana a alguien como Bolaño, que cuenta la realidad a su estilo y la mueve a su antojo, pero parece no "intentar" decir las cosas, no sientes el esfuerzo ni las horas que se haya tomado en escribirla, cosa que a veces sí siento en otros escritores.
Me gustan sus elementos, aparentemente simples, la espera de un novio que está de viaje, ese es su punto de partida, ahí va contando su vida diaria, su espera, su añoranza, sus gustos, se ve su amor por detalles extraños que parecen no decir nada, pero que van formando un universo único y atractivo, dan ganas de meterse en el, saber por qué cuenta lo que cuenta, cuando nos habla de literatura, de sus amigos, de lo que ve, de los detalles en su vida y en su espera. No muchos pueden poner con tanta naturalidad en un mismo lugar a Ovidio, Proust, Lispector, enanos, sueños y Shakira.
Parece no tener forma, pero tiene hasta algo de musical su manera de repetir frases, de recordarnos una imagen que nos dio en un momento, y a la cual regresa casi de pasada.
Soy fan, y estoy curiosa por ver como seguirá creciendo la voz de una de mis mexicanas favoritas.
A eso voy, a hablar sobre Brenda Lozano y su forma de escribir. Que nada tiene que ver con ese peso de el que hablo, que tiene una voz propia, y que escribe sin esfuerzo, o aparentemente, y que tiene su propia voz. Es lo que todos buscan, supongo, pero no todos lo logran. Los elementos en las historias de Brenda son cercanos a ella, y su mundo, (por lo que leí en su primera novela, y por lo que leo en esta, lo veo ahí) es más cercana a alguien como Bolaño, que cuenta la realidad a su estilo y la mueve a su antojo, pero parece no "intentar" decir las cosas, no sientes el esfuerzo ni las horas que se haya tomado en escribirla, cosa que a veces sí siento en otros escritores.
Me gustan sus elementos, aparentemente simples, la espera de un novio que está de viaje, ese es su punto de partida, ahí va contando su vida diaria, su espera, su añoranza, sus gustos, se ve su amor por detalles extraños que parecen no decir nada, pero que van formando un universo único y atractivo, dan ganas de meterse en el, saber por qué cuenta lo que cuenta, cuando nos habla de literatura, de sus amigos, de lo que ve, de los detalles en su vida y en su espera. No muchos pueden poner con tanta naturalidad en un mismo lugar a Ovidio, Proust, Lispector, enanos, sueños y Shakira.
Parece no tener forma, pero tiene hasta algo de musical su manera de repetir frases, de recordarnos una imagen que nos dio en un momento, y a la cual regresa casi de pasada.
Soy fan, y estoy curiosa por ver como seguirá creciendo la voz de una de mis mexicanas favoritas.
July 17, 2020
(#gifted @charcopress) If I were a reader who underlined and tabbed books (laziness is the only reason I'm not), Loop would have very few pages untouched. It's one of those lovely, meandering, plotless narratives that I just love, which I know cause other readers to run for the hills. But if you love them, you'll love this.
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The narrator documents her thoughts in her Ideal Notebook (both the literal brand and the hypothetical ideal notebook) as her boyfriend is abroad visiting his recently deceased mother's family. As she awaits his return (don't worry, it's not a pining situation), her mind wanders from everything to Proust, The Beatles, the novel she'd write if she could, cats, The Odyssey, and of course, writing itself. Although it wanders, the prose is clear and lucid, crisply translated by Annie McDermott.
.
I took photographs of so many pages as I was struck by a particular thought or phrase where I just thought, 'that's me!'. I feel like this narrator and I would be friends. She gets lost in her own thoughts, pondering the uselessness of certain objects, what her cat dreams about, how time is just a construct. I loved the choppy paragraphs, mimicking how her thoughts flit from one topic to the next. Interspersed with these are longer chunks of run-on dialogue, usually from people other than herself. Lozano also ties in pertinent contemporary issues in Mexico such as femicide, as the narrator finds herself fixated on speeches and articles about them, along with her own, more personal, ruminations.
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Writers and ardent lovers of Ali Smith will delight in this book. Those not a fan of plotless narratives will likely scream, ‘but what is the point?!� And that’s the beauty of books. They mean something different to everyone, and those of you who do pick this one up, I hope you have a good a time with it as I did, if not better! I think were I more familiar with some of the cultural topics referenced (Pessoa, Borges, Proust) I would have got even more out of it than I already did. Certainly one to revisit and enjoy all over again!
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I’ll be (im)patiently waiting for the next Brenda Lozano to be translated!
.
The narrator documents her thoughts in her Ideal Notebook (both the literal brand and the hypothetical ideal notebook) as her boyfriend is abroad visiting his recently deceased mother's family. As she awaits his return (don't worry, it's not a pining situation), her mind wanders from everything to Proust, The Beatles, the novel she'd write if she could, cats, The Odyssey, and of course, writing itself. Although it wanders, the prose is clear and lucid, crisply translated by Annie McDermott.
.
I took photographs of so many pages as I was struck by a particular thought or phrase where I just thought, 'that's me!'. I feel like this narrator and I would be friends. She gets lost in her own thoughts, pondering the uselessness of certain objects, what her cat dreams about, how time is just a construct. I loved the choppy paragraphs, mimicking how her thoughts flit from one topic to the next. Interspersed with these are longer chunks of run-on dialogue, usually from people other than herself. Lozano also ties in pertinent contemporary issues in Mexico such as femicide, as the narrator finds herself fixated on speeches and articles about them, along with her own, more personal, ruminations.
.
Writers and ardent lovers of Ali Smith will delight in this book. Those not a fan of plotless narratives will likely scream, ‘but what is the point?!� And that’s the beauty of books. They mean something different to everyone, and those of you who do pick this one up, I hope you have a good a time with it as I did, if not better! I think were I more familiar with some of the cultural topics referenced (Pessoa, Borges, Proust) I would have got even more out of it than I already did. Certainly one to revisit and enjoy all over again!
.
I’ll be (im)patiently waiting for the next Brenda Lozano to be translated!
October 9, 2022
Okurken oldukça keyif aldım, müthiş değil ama hoş bir metin bu, sevdiğim yazarlara selamlarla dolu.. Proust'la 2022 bitmeden iyi vakit geçirmek istiyorum.
Yazarın (birinci tekil şahsın) kendine sorduğu sorularda güzel molalar verdim, bu benim için okumayı keyifli kılan önemli unsur..
İdeal bir defter nedir? Bunu yazmayı seven herkes bir düşünsün. Tek ve doğru cevabı olmayan soruları severim.
Yazarın (birinci tekil şahsın) kendine sorduğu sorularda güzel molalar verdim, bu benim için okumayı keyifli kılan önemli unsur..
İdeal bir defter nedir? Bunu yazmayı seven herkes bir düşünsün. Tek ve doğru cevabı olmayan soruları severim.
October 8, 2019
"Don’t be alarmed if this isn’t going anywhere. Don’t expect theories, reliable facts or conclusions. Don’t take any of this too seriously. That’s what universities are for, and theses, and academic studies. Personally, I like cafes, bars and living rooms. Not to mention comfortable cushions. So nice and cosy."
After an unspecified accident, our narrator finds herself waiting for the return of her boyfriend who is away in Spain after the death of his mother. She makes continuous notes as she waits and these notes are, essentially, on whatever thoughts occur to her. Themes appear, phrases are repeated, ideas gradually link together.
It is very hard, for someone who has recently read "Ducks, Newburyport" twice, not to be reminded of Lucy Ellmann’s Booker shortlisted tome. Lozano’s novel is far shorter, is conventionally punctuated and is, unlike Ellmann’s, filtered. In Ducks, we get everything. In Loop, the narrator has taken time to at least filter out the background noise. We still get a whirlpool of thoughts, though, and it still feels as though we are spending time inside the mind of our narrator.
This is a book full of literary references. When our narrator is given a book she says ”A novel I have been trying to track down for ages, like a kind of savage detective� and this is just one example plucked at random from dozens that I noticed (and I am sure there are at least as many that passed me by as I read).
It is a book full, too, of quotable quotes. Some, it has to be said, sounded important and quotable to me until I thought about them and then I decided maybe some of them were a bit pretentious. How do you react to "I think telling stories is a way of putting a scar into words." or "All stories are a deep ocean and a puddle at the same time." or "Change. Unlearning yourself is more important than knowing yourself." This final quote is one of several repeating phrases (see also "Are these stairs going up or down?" and "Am I getting closer or am I getting further away?"). And there are repeating images, perhaps most notably a dwarf, but there are plenty of others.
Also, in a further parallel with Ellmann’s book, our narrator is concerned about a back drop of violence and unrest in her community.
"I had dinner with Julia. Calmly, while eating a salad, she said that we usually want something and think we’re heading towards it, when really we’re walking in the opposite direction. I think it’s a powerful claim. Could it be what’s happening to this country? Could it be what’s happening to me?"
And one chapter opens with a woman talking on the radio making an appeal to the president to do something about the violence in the country.
Overall, this is a swirling mixture of ideas, images and emotions that flow through a woman’s mind as she waits for the return of her boyfriend. Perhaps this final quote helps to understand the approach the book takes. It comes after our narrator has looked at a book which classifies the 1000 longest rivers in the world. She is amazed to see rivers that are so geographically distant all brought together in a single book and laid out next to one another:
"I wonder if stories can be classified like rivers, from biggest to smallest. I also wonder if, in that case, stories could be part of the same book. Passage placed impossibly side by side. So they make another story."
And that’s a bit like what happens when you read this book. Lots of different threads laid side by side and forming a different story in the mind of the reader as parts link together or bounce off one another.
After an unspecified accident, our narrator finds herself waiting for the return of her boyfriend who is away in Spain after the death of his mother. She makes continuous notes as she waits and these notes are, essentially, on whatever thoughts occur to her. Themes appear, phrases are repeated, ideas gradually link together.
It is very hard, for someone who has recently read "Ducks, Newburyport" twice, not to be reminded of Lucy Ellmann’s Booker shortlisted tome. Lozano’s novel is far shorter, is conventionally punctuated and is, unlike Ellmann’s, filtered. In Ducks, we get everything. In Loop, the narrator has taken time to at least filter out the background noise. We still get a whirlpool of thoughts, though, and it still feels as though we are spending time inside the mind of our narrator.
This is a book full of literary references. When our narrator is given a book she says ”A novel I have been trying to track down for ages, like a kind of savage detective� and this is just one example plucked at random from dozens that I noticed (and I am sure there are at least as many that passed me by as I read).
It is a book full, too, of quotable quotes. Some, it has to be said, sounded important and quotable to me until I thought about them and then I decided maybe some of them were a bit pretentious. How do you react to "I think telling stories is a way of putting a scar into words." or "All stories are a deep ocean and a puddle at the same time." or "Change. Unlearning yourself is more important than knowing yourself." This final quote is one of several repeating phrases (see also "Are these stairs going up or down?" and "Am I getting closer or am I getting further away?"). And there are repeating images, perhaps most notably a dwarf, but there are plenty of others.
Also, in a further parallel with Ellmann’s book, our narrator is concerned about a back drop of violence and unrest in her community.
"I had dinner with Julia. Calmly, while eating a salad, she said that we usually want something and think we’re heading towards it, when really we’re walking in the opposite direction. I think it’s a powerful claim. Could it be what’s happening to this country? Could it be what’s happening to me?"
And one chapter opens with a woman talking on the radio making an appeal to the president to do something about the violence in the country.
Overall, this is a swirling mixture of ideas, images and emotions that flow through a woman’s mind as she waits for the return of her boyfriend. Perhaps this final quote helps to understand the approach the book takes. It comes after our narrator has looked at a book which classifies the 1000 longest rivers in the world. She is amazed to see rivers that are so geographically distant all brought together in a single book and laid out next to one another:
"I wonder if stories can be classified like rivers, from biggest to smallest. I also wonder if, in that case, stories could be part of the same book. Passage placed impossibly side by side. So they make another story."
And that’s a bit like what happens when you read this book. Lots of different threads laid side by side and forming a different story in the mind of the reader as parts link together or bounce off one another.
January 10, 2021
Almost the ideal book for me: a love story, but not too much plot, rather meandering from one quirky fact to another beautiful thought. A true gem from Charco Press.
March 28, 2021
speaking of kafka, have i told you he's one of the authors i read for self-improvement? today i underlined this phrase, which i could repeat every morning: 'he who seeks does not find, but he who does not seek will be found.' in fact, the genre people call self-help literature sounds tautological to me; i read all literature as self-help.absolutely marvelous from first to final sentence, brenda lozano's loop (cuaderno ideal) is like spending uninterrupted hours with your smartest, wittiest, most self-effacing yet remarkably astute, tangentially gifted friend while they hold court and cleverly carry on about subjects personal, profound, funny, and irreverent. in other words, the mexican writer's first work to appear in english translation is an unmitigated delight. constructed as a journal/notebook, loop contains the sum thoughts of the nameless narrator's distractive musings, waiting as she endlessly must for, amongst other things, the return of her boyfriend, jonás, from his transatlantic trip to spain.
i was left with a scar. i think telling stories is a way of putting a scar into words. since not all blows or falls leave marks, the words are there, ready to be put together in different ways, anywhere, anytime, in response to any fall, however serious or slight.lozano's novel forays, explores, backtracks, repeats, perhaps like a diaristic eternal return. as loop's narrator considers and reconsiders, all things around her are subject to her observational ponderings and pronouncements. her ideas, opinions, realizations, and ongoing commentaries, while obviously the fruits of a fertile mind, are also reflections of the examined life, a life well worth living despite the intolerable burdens of impatiently waiting.
change. unlearning yourself is more important than knowing yourself.lozano was included on the (second) bogotá 39 list of talented young writers from latin america, along with so many gifted authors now making their way into english. in addition to loop, she's also, to date, written a second novel (her debut) and a collection of short stories, both of which will hopefully be translated forthwith. loop truly is tremendous fun and if indeed there is an "ideal" notebook, surely it's one filled with the words of brenda lozano.
sir! madam! overdoing the hikikomori? sick of being cooped up indoors reading? tired of the british police mistaking your cane for a samurai sword? have you lost faith in the oxford oracle? overworked your writing in your creative writing workshop? do you write novels you think are shit, compose prose you think is crap? how many balls of paper do you throw in the bin without managing a single line? then it's time to buy an ideal notebook! to hell with second world war novels, sir; to the devil with historical fiction, madam; forget all those stories about middle-aged european men. plots come and go, action is secondary. the voice is what matters. listen to your voice, however it sounds. practise in the bathroom. jump up and down a bit first. a-e-i-o-u. practise in your notebook. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. do it again, only this time with your words. one word after another. you don't need to move from your kitchen, all you need is a chair and a table. in fact, you only need the notebook. dare to pick up that pen.
*translated from the spanish by annie mcdermott (almada, harwicz, levero, et al.)
November 15, 2019
Very strong and enjoyable book and one of Charco’s finest to date � one which celebrates discursive fiction over utilitarian writing.
“Useful things. Useful work, useful thoughts, useful phrases. Stories in which everything happens. A society which worships the verb. The famous concept of utility, the pursuit of usefulness. The old story of separating the wheat from the chaff. If everything is divided into two, I’m on the side of the chaff�
“I’m drawn to the very idea of uselessness, because there’s something fictional about it. A piece of work, an object, the more ridiculously useless it seems, the more fascinating I find it. All those objects, all those services that serve no one seem to me like the triumph of fiction�
December 19, 2022
"Kendi derinine hiç inmemiş, onu hiç tanımamış, hayalini bile kurmamış biri nasıl yaşar merak ediyorum. Yalnızca acılar vasıtasıyla varılan o derine."
February 13, 2023
Obsessed. Weeping. Destroyed. This is like if the inside of my head was a book. The fucking writing!!! It was hilarious and beautiful and so poetic and inspiring. I loved how it was full of quotations and paraphrases. The book was like one big love letter to Hispanic literature like the girly imagining she was seeing Pessoa buying oranges down the supermarket and her obsession with Proust!!! Cannot cope. It was just everything good and beautiful about Latin American literary history and truly a celebration of their poetic language but it was also like a homage to the Hispanic surrealist movement and just oh my god lost for words, bury me with this book.
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November 14, 2022bekleme temasıyla yakınlık kurup kitabın beni içine çekeceği umuduyla başlamıştım ama maalesef umduğumu bulamadım. yazarın sevgilisini beklerken çiziktirdiği notlar şeklinde yazıldığı için parça parça her şey. kolay okunuyor aslında ama 100 sayfa okuyup "ee, ne anlamalıydım ben şimdi" diye kalakalınca, kitabı bir süre elime alasım da gelmedi açıkçası. bazılarına yenilikçi ve samimi gelebilir ki çok da sevildiğini görüyorum gerçekten, ama benlik olmadığına kanaat getirdim.
December 15, 2020
According to the back cover of the book, Margarita Garcia Robayo has said that "Lozano knows she is gifted, and has no shame in showing it." and I think she's right. Lozano does indeed show a lot of sparks of giftedness, but unfortunately I didn't feel it go beyond sparks.
The book is written in a large number of thoughts and diary / notebook entries - some a single sentence long, others half a page. They are all so varied and disconnected, it's practically impossible to talk about any structure in this short book. While many of these entries were lyrical and beautiful, the book as a whole was too conceptual for my taste. I got tired by the utter disjointedness of the separate texts, i couldn't find a reason for the structure of the book other than to show talent without shame, and overall my engagement levels dropped with every new notebook entry. I felt that great fragments don't necessarily add up to a great whole. But then again that's just me.
The book is written in a large number of thoughts and diary / notebook entries - some a single sentence long, others half a page. They are all so varied and disconnected, it's practically impossible to talk about any structure in this short book. While many of these entries were lyrical and beautiful, the book as a whole was too conceptual for my taste. I got tired by the utter disjointedness of the separate texts, i couldn't find a reason for the structure of the book other than to show talent without shame, and overall my engagement levels dropped with every new notebook entry. I felt that great fragments don't necessarily add up to a great whole. But then again that's just me.
November 29, 2022
Loop is a gorgeous short novel. Highly readable, and compulsively so. I wasn’t expecting this largely plotless novel to be so engrossing, but it really was. I had to force myself to put it down at times. Kudos to the translator for producing such a smooth, near-musical reading experience.
It reminded me of the sort of novel Eva Figes might have written if she’d been less depressive and more prone to referencing external literary sources within her work. Very much my cup of proverbial tea, in other words.
Highly recommended. I’m eager to read more Lozano (in translation) in the future.
It reminded me of the sort of novel Eva Figes might have written if she’d been less depressive and more prone to referencing external literary sources within her work. Very much my cup of proverbial tea, in other words.
Highly recommended. I’m eager to read more Lozano (in translation) in the future.
April 25, 2024
Vi el título en español y me gusta más porque tiene sentido, pero loop me parece ideal.
La narradora es un personaje sensible, inteligente que me encantaría que fuese mi amiga. Loop es un diario que contiene entradas esporádicas con poesía, golondrinas, amistad, historia�
Un cuaderno de transformación y de un ejercicio de escritura súper interesante. Habla sobre el impacto terapéutico de la literatura y el amor a los libros.
La segunda mitad del libro es profunda, es la primera vez que leo a Brenda y me ha gustado mucho.
La narradora es un personaje sensible, inteligente que me encantaría que fuese mi amiga. Loop es un diario que contiene entradas esporádicas con poesía, golondrinas, amistad, historia�
Un cuaderno de transformación y de un ejercicio de escritura súper interesante. Habla sobre el impacto terapéutico de la literatura y el amor a los libros.
La segunda mitad del libro es profunda, es la primera vez que leo a Brenda y me ha gustado mucho.
September 17, 2021
This book has everything I enjoy (e.g.,stream-of-consciousness, literary allusions, random musings, complex narrative structure) and everything I dislike (e.g., repetition, corny declarations of love, rhetorical questions, death). I enjoyed Loop but couldn’t wait to finish.
October 16, 2022
Çok farklı bir kitap İdeal Defter. Yer yer aforizmaya da kaçıyor belki. Ama ben sevdim. Hatta bir ''Ideal'' defter tutasım da geldi. Yazarın farklı bir kitabını okuyup öyle kanıya varabilirim sanırım, değişik bir okuma deneyimiydi diyebilirim şu anlık.
December 31, 2021
warning: this isn't a real review, just a bunch of notes I took towards a review... I never wrote the proper review, but why not just put my notes up here?
it's a woman writing in her notebook (ideal notebook?) written in a style that is similar to a long poem, with themes that intertwine: notebooks, ideal, lines, waiting, Wild is the Wind, swallows, metamorphosis, dwarves (odd), scales (as in "life on a different scale")
she mentions a lot of authors, her taste is very similar to mine (Emmanuel Bove, Robert Walser, Lima...)
in parts maybe a little awkward, like when she keeps talking about / exoticizing the dwarf in her neighborhood
another criticism, sometimes her repetition or her themes are a bit TOO much/often, maybe more subtlety or less on the nose would be better
actual "plot": she waits and pines for her boyfriend Jonas whose mom died, her bf went to spain or somewhere to see his mother's family and resolve his own issues
certainty -- ambiguity -- the idea of being in limbo and being comfortable with that limbo / waiting area instead of constantly arriving at a destination... waiting itself is a kind of journey.
the "plot" of the novel could have easily gone south -- gf pines for bf... how feminist is that? and in fact, in that way it isn't very feminist, to write a novel about a girl waiting for a boy... on the surface it seems not so feminist. but in that we are assuming that waiting is a null space, is nothingness, is a life put on pause, but we realize that things happen in that null space, and the only reason we ignore that waiting, that stories skip over that span of time, is because stories are told from the male perspective.
the book's feminism is subversive. since the plot is pretty male-centric (she is WAITING for him to return), it could easily have been a book that becomes too domestic. But I feel like the book challenges this; it says here I am waiting, but what happens during this waiting period is NOT nothing! And also, this is the important stuff. It questions what it means to be feminist... here she is in a very traditional 'waiting' role, yet her life is clearly more than just her man. she has friends, she has a career and she travels. But her man is part of her life as well. This kind of goes against the kind of cartoonized version of feminism that sometimes happens. This book is very feminist because it examines that experience of the sometimes traditional gender roles and it says look we can be very traditional but there's still something there that's not traditional even within these roles.
wondering why the name was changed (metamorphosed) into loop after the english translation (originally in spanish it was named "ideal notebook")
personally, i like the title loop more than ideal notebook, because the concept of the ideal notebook is already and ever-present in the book itself... it seems like an obvious title. whereas loop isn't automatically self evident, and it made me think about how the concept of loop and loops fits in with the other themes of the book.
loop can refer to:
the structure of the novel involves many themes that the novel returns to over and over again, looping back, circling around, repetition, etc.
also a loop has no start or beginning, only middle, perpetual present (fittingly written in present tense)
the idea of consciousness, self-awareness, the being the beginning of "intelligence" (though this book doesn't really talk about this, there might be an implicit connection to the notebook being a kind of self reflexive tool)
you can tie a loop to create a lasso, a loop can be used to throw at something or someone to pull them back, say from the ocean, where they are trying to swim back (diagonally) -- or to pull back Jonas from his journey to find his mother
it's a woman writing in her notebook (ideal notebook?) written in a style that is similar to a long poem, with themes that intertwine: notebooks, ideal, lines, waiting, Wild is the Wind, swallows, metamorphosis, dwarves (odd), scales (as in "life on a different scale")
she mentions a lot of authors, her taste is very similar to mine (Emmanuel Bove, Robert Walser, Lima...)
in parts maybe a little awkward, like when she keeps talking about / exoticizing the dwarf in her neighborhood
another criticism, sometimes her repetition or her themes are a bit TOO much/often, maybe more subtlety or less on the nose would be better
actual "plot": she waits and pines for her boyfriend Jonas whose mom died, her bf went to spain or somewhere to see his mother's family and resolve his own issues
certainty -- ambiguity -- the idea of being in limbo and being comfortable with that limbo / waiting area instead of constantly arriving at a destination... waiting itself is a kind of journey.
the "plot" of the novel could have easily gone south -- gf pines for bf... how feminist is that? and in fact, in that way it isn't very feminist, to write a novel about a girl waiting for a boy... on the surface it seems not so feminist. but in that we are assuming that waiting is a null space, is nothingness, is a life put on pause, but we realize that things happen in that null space, and the only reason we ignore that waiting, that stories skip over that span of time, is because stories are told from the male perspective.
the book's feminism is subversive. since the plot is pretty male-centric (she is WAITING for him to return), it could easily have been a book that becomes too domestic. But I feel like the book challenges this; it says here I am waiting, but what happens during this waiting period is NOT nothing! And also, this is the important stuff. It questions what it means to be feminist... here she is in a very traditional 'waiting' role, yet her life is clearly more than just her man. she has friends, she has a career and she travels. But her man is part of her life as well. This kind of goes against the kind of cartoonized version of feminism that sometimes happens. This book is very feminist because it examines that experience of the sometimes traditional gender roles and it says look we can be very traditional but there's still something there that's not traditional even within these roles.
wondering why the name was changed (metamorphosed) into loop after the english translation (originally in spanish it was named "ideal notebook")
personally, i like the title loop more than ideal notebook, because the concept of the ideal notebook is already and ever-present in the book itself... it seems like an obvious title. whereas loop isn't automatically self evident, and it made me think about how the concept of loop and loops fits in with the other themes of the book.
loop can refer to:
the structure of the novel involves many themes that the novel returns to over and over again, looping back, circling around, repetition, etc.
also a loop has no start or beginning, only middle, perpetual present (fittingly written in present tense)
the idea of consciousness, self-awareness, the being the beginning of "intelligence" (though this book doesn't really talk about this, there might be an implicit connection to the notebook being a kind of self reflexive tool)
you can tie a loop to create a lasso, a loop can be used to throw at something or someone to pull them back, say from the ocean, where they are trying to swim back (diagonally) -- or to pull back Jonas from his journey to find his mother
January 21, 2023
Benim için ideal kitap mıydı?
Ჹı.
Ama zaten kitap da biraz bunu anlatıyor ideal olmak zorunluluk mu?
Okurken sürekli seviyor muyum sevmiyor muyum diye düşünüp durdum. Ama bir şekilde elimden de bırakamadım. Okurken içimde oluşan güzel hislerin ne ve neden olduğunu tarif edemiyorum ancak kitabı bitirip kapattığımda bu kitabı çok sevdiğime karar verdim.
“İşe yaramaz ne varsa bekleme salonlarındadır. Zaman geçirmek için yaptığımız her şey. İşe yaramaz öteberiler, kayıp zaman.
Zaman kaybedilebilir mi?�
“Yazmak sayfa büyüklüğünde bir adaya çekilmektir.�
Ჹı.
Ama zaten kitap da biraz bunu anlatıyor ideal olmak zorunluluk mu?
Okurken sürekli seviyor muyum sevmiyor muyum diye düşünüp durdum. Ama bir şekilde elimden de bırakamadım. Okurken içimde oluşan güzel hislerin ne ve neden olduğunu tarif edemiyorum ancak kitabı bitirip kapattığımda bu kitabı çok sevdiğime karar verdim.
“İşe yaramaz ne varsa bekleme salonlarındadır. Zaman geçirmek için yaptığımız her şey. İşe yaramaz öteberiler, kayıp zaman.
Zaman kaybedilebilir mi?�
“Yazmak sayfa büyüklüğünde bir adaya çekilmektir.�
November 21, 2019
I was really impressed by the complex structure and erudite writing of this book. I didn't enjoy the actual process of reading it all that much, as the constant repetition of a couple of sentences became mind-numbing for me without significantly adding to the themes of the novel. Still, I'm glad to have read it.
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December 11, 2023Benim bu ara kitap okumaya gonlum yok belli ki. Kitabi sevmem icin tum sartlar yerli yerinde aslinda, kisa, vurucu, kafasinin icinde gecirdigi zaman dilimi, siradan gunlerin icinde kaldigi dilimden daha buyuk biri tarafindan yazilmis belli ki. Hep bir seyler ariyor, soruyor, bekliyor.
Ama iste olmayinca olmadi, cunku okumaya da begenmeye de gonlum yok. Bitirdim ama icine girmeden, yukari baka baka bitirdim. Gelisiguzel acip ustunde dusunmeden okudugum karikatur balonlari gibi oldu. Hmmm komikmis dedim ama gulmedim.
Ama iste olmayinca olmadi, cunku okumaya da begenmeye de gonlum yok. Bitirdim ama icine girmeden, yukari baka baka bitirdim. Gelisiguzel acip ustunde dusunmeden okudugum karikatur balonlari gibi oldu. Hmmm komikmis dedim ama gulmedim.
August 14, 2022
Kitaptan: “Bir yara izim var. Bence anlatmak bir yarayı dile getirme biçimi. Her darbe, her düşüş iz bırakmadığı için kelimeler var, nerede olursa olsun, ne zaman olursa olsun, ciddi ya da hafif her düşüşe karşı farklı kombinasyonlara hazır.�
Karakter bir yazar. Bu kitap da onun defteri. Sevgilisini beklerken yazdığı notlar. Bazen uzun ve derinlikli yazılar. Bazen kısa yüzeysel notlar. Bunlar özlemle bölünüyor bazen. Hayal dünyası geniş bir kadın yazarın iç sesi gibi. Bağ kurulabilirliği oradan geliyor. İçten bir ses “e bunu ben yazsam okumazsınız/ yayınlamazsınız� diyor. Sakin ol diyoruz.
Karakter bir yazar. Bu kitap da onun defteri. Sevgilisini beklerken yazdığı notlar. Bazen uzun ve derinlikli yazılar. Bazen kısa yüzeysel notlar. Bunlar özlemle bölünüyor bazen. Hayal dünyası geniş bir kadın yazarın iç sesi gibi. Bağ kurulabilirliği oradan geliyor. İçten bir ses “e bunu ben yazsam okumazsınız/ yayınlamazsınız� diyor. Sakin ol diyoruz.
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