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毓讴丕爻蹖貙 亘丕賱賵賳鈥屫迟堌ж臂屫� 毓卮賯 賵 丕賳丿賵賴
鈥屫堎勠屬� 亘丕乇賳夭 丕睾賱亘 丿乇 丌孬丕乇卮 賲乇夭賴丕蹖 賲乇爻賵賲 诏賵賳賴鈥屬囏й� 丕丿亘蹖 乇丕 賳丕丿蹖丿賴 诏乇賮鬲賴 丕爻鬲. 讴鬲丕亘 芦毓讴丕爻蹖貙 亘丕賱賵賳鈥屫迟堌ж臂屫� 毓卮賯 賵 丕賳丿賵賴禄 賳蹖夭 亘賴 賴賲蹖賳 鬲乇鬲蹖亘貙 鬲乇讴蹖亘蹖 丕爻鬲 丕夭 鬲丕乇蹖禺 賵 噩爻鬲丕乇 禺賱丕賯丕賳賴 賵 禺賵丿夭賳丿诏蹖鈥屬嗀з呝囐� 丿丕爻鬲丕賳蹖 讴賴 亘賴 卮讴賱 賳賵卮鬲賴鈥屫й� 诏蹖乇丕 丿乇 亘丕亘 毓卮賯 賵 丕賳丿賵賴 丿乇丌賲丿賴 丕爻鬲鈥� 讴鬲丕亘蹖 讴賴 亘丕乇賳夭 丌賳 乇丕 丕氐賱丕賸 丿乇 爻賵诏 賴賲爻乇 賵 讴丕乇诏夭丕乇 丕丿亘蹖 丕夭 丿爻鬲 乇賮鬲賴鈥屫ж簇� 倬鬲 讴丕賵丕賳丕貙 賳賵卮鬲賴 丕爻鬲. 倬鬲 丿乇 爻丕賱 鄄郯郯鄹 丕夭 鬲賵賲賵乇 賲睾夭蹖 賲乇丿.
鈥�
讴鬲丕亘賿 爻賴 噩爻鬲丕乇 乇丕 丿乇 亘乇 賲蹖鈥屭屫必�: 芦诏賳丕賴 丕乇鬲賮丕毓禄貙 芦亘乇 乇賵蹖 爻胤丨禄 賵 芦丕夭 丿爻鬲 乇賮鬲賳 毓賲賯禄. 丿乇 噩爻鬲丕乇 丕賵賱 賳丕丿丕乇 (毓讴丕爻 賵 賲禺鬲乇毓 賯乇賳 郾酃) 毓讴丕爻蹖 賵 毓賱賲 賴賵丕賳賵乇丿蹖 乇丕 丿乇賴賲鈥屬呟屸€屫①呟屫藏� 賵 亘賴 丕賵賱蹖賳 毓讴丕爻 賴賵丕蹖蹖 鬲亘丿蹖賱 賲蹖鈥屫促堌�.
丿乇 噩爻鬲丕乇 丿賵賲貙 亘丕乇賳夭 乇丕亘胤賴鈥屫й� 禺蹖丕賱蹖 賲蹖丕賳 爻丕乇丕 亘乇賳丕乇丿賽 亘丕夭蹖诏乇 賵 賮乇丿 亘乇賳丕亘蹖賽 賲丕噩乇丕噩賵 鬲乇爻蹖賲 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀�.
噩爻鬲丕乇 爻賵賲 卮乇丨 毓卮賯 亘丕乇賳夭 丕爻鬲 亘賴 賴賲爻乇卮鈥� 賵 爻乇爻禺鬲蹖 丕賵 丿乇 丕蹖賳 毓卮賯貙 丨鬲蹖 倬爻 丕夭 賲乇诏 讴丕賵丕賳丕.
鈥�
賴乇 爻賴 賮氐賱 亘丕 噩賲賱丕鬲蹖 賲卮丕亘賴 丌睾丕夭 賲蹖鈥屫促堎嗀�: 芦丿賵 趩蹖夭 乇丕 讴賴 鬲丕 丨丕賱丕 讴賳丕乇 賴賲 賯乇丕乇 賳诏乇賮鬲賴鈥屫з嗀� 讴賳丕乇 賴賲 賲蹖鈥屭柏ж臂屫�.
鬲賲丕賲 丕噩夭丕亍 讴鬲丕亘 丿乇賴賲鈥屫嗃屫団€屫з嗀� 賵 賴乇 讴丿丕賲 丿乇 賴乇 噩爻鬲丕乇 鬲讴乇丕乇 賲蹖鈥屫促堌� 賵 賲毓賳丕蹖卮 乇丕 讴丕賲賱 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀�.
鈥�
讴鬲丕亘賿 爻賴 噩爻鬲丕乇 乇丕 丿乇 亘乇 賲蹖鈥屭屫必�: 芦诏賳丕賴 丕乇鬲賮丕毓禄貙 芦亘乇 乇賵蹖 爻胤丨禄 賵 芦丕夭 丿爻鬲 乇賮鬲賳 毓賲賯禄. 丿乇 噩爻鬲丕乇 丕賵賱 賳丕丿丕乇 (毓讴丕爻 賵 賲禺鬲乇毓 賯乇賳 郾酃) 毓讴丕爻蹖 賵 毓賱賲 賴賵丕賳賵乇丿蹖 乇丕 丿乇賴賲鈥屬呟屸€屫①呟屫藏� 賵 亘賴 丕賵賱蹖賳 毓讴丕爻 賴賵丕蹖蹖 鬲亘丿蹖賱 賲蹖鈥屫促堌�.
丿乇 噩爻鬲丕乇 丿賵賲貙 亘丕乇賳夭 乇丕亘胤賴鈥屫й� 禺蹖丕賱蹖 賲蹖丕賳 爻丕乇丕 亘乇賳丕乇丿賽 亘丕夭蹖诏乇 賵 賮乇丿 亘乇賳丕亘蹖賽 賲丕噩乇丕噩賵 鬲乇爻蹖賲 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀�.
噩爻鬲丕乇 爻賵賲 卮乇丨 毓卮賯 亘丕乇賳夭 丕爻鬲 亘賴 賴賲爻乇卮鈥� 賵 爻乇爻禺鬲蹖 丕賵 丿乇 丕蹖賳 毓卮賯貙 丨鬲蹖 倬爻 丕夭 賲乇诏 讴丕賵丕賳丕.
鈥�
賴乇 爻賴 賮氐賱 亘丕 噩賲賱丕鬲蹖 賲卮丕亘賴 丌睾丕夭 賲蹖鈥屫促堎嗀�: 芦丿賵 趩蹖夭 乇丕 讴賴 鬲丕 丨丕賱丕 讴賳丕乇 賴賲 賯乇丕乇 賳诏乇賮鬲賴鈥屫з嗀� 讴賳丕乇 賴賲 賲蹖鈥屭柏ж臂屫�.
鬲賲丕賲 丕噩夭丕亍 讴鬲丕亘 丿乇賴賲鈥屫嗃屫団€屫з嗀� 賵 賴乇 讴丿丕賲 丿乇 賴乇 噩爻鬲丕乇 鬲讴乇丕乇 賲蹖鈥屫促堌� 賵 賲毓賳丕蹖卮 乇丕 讴丕賲賱 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀�.
144 pages, Paperback
First published April 4, 2013
578 people are currently reading
15822 people want to read
About the author
Julian Barnes
170听books6,611听followersJulian Patrick Barnes is an English writer. He won the Man Booker Prize in 2011 with The Sense of an Ending, having been shortlisted three times previously with Flaubert's Parrot, England, England, and Arthur & George. Barnes has also written crime fiction under the pseudonym Dan Kavanagh (having married Pat Kavanagh). In addition to novels, Barnes has published collections of essays and short stories.
In 2004 he became a Commandeur of L'Ordre des Arts et des Lettres. His honours also include the Somerset Maugham Award and the Geoffrey Faber Memorial Prize. He was awarded the 2021 Jerusalem Prize.
In 2004 he became a Commandeur of L'Ordre des Arts et des Lettres. His honours also include the Somerset Maugham Award and the Geoffrey Faber Memorial Prize. He was awarded the 2021 Jerusalem Prize.
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April 10, 2022
TROPICO DEL DOLORE
Julien Oncete
A bassa voce, dopo aver spento le luci e lasciato solo un abat-jour, Julian Barnes ci porta in alto su aerostati palloni mongolfiere introducendoci ad alcune delle prime esperienze di volo鈥�
E poi, come se il senso di vertigine acquisito ascoltando i suoi racconti non fosse sufficiente, d鈥檌mprovviso, trasformando pagina 69 in pagina 70, annulla ogni profondit脿 scagliandoci in quella pi霉 abissale, la morte, e l鈥檃more鈥�
Ancora pi霉 gi霉, e sempre pi霉 su, la morte dell鈥檃more, la morte della persona amata鈥�
Come la terra vista dalla luna (dall鈥檃lto?), da quella profondit脿 prospettica 猫 immota pressoch茅 perfetta immersa nella quiete cosmica鈥�
Come osservare se stessi da lontano鈥�
La morte di sua moglie dopo trenta anni di amore vissuto insieme鈥�
Julian Barnes con la moglie.
Elaborazione del lutto?
Inutilit脿 del dolore, piuttosto.
La vita va avanti?
Il pensiero del suicidio che si propone, piuttosto (prestissimo, e molto razionalmente).
Come combattere il dolore, come anche solo arginare la solitudine?
Scrivendo, esercitando il raziocinio.
Operazione che ha successo?
No, dice Barnes 鈥� e io gli credo, anche se altri leggendolo diranno che invece 猫 riuscita.
I primi due capitoli sono preparatori al terzo, che 猫 il cuore del libro: come se avesse voluto costruire un鈥檌mpalcatura per evitare che fosse un puro urlo di dolore.
Il dolore indebolisce, non rafforza, isola, allontana.
Ha continuato a piangere la moglie, a sognarla, a cercarla nella memoria, l鈥檜nico modo per noi umani per ripetere la discesa di Orfeo 鈥� a parlarle ad alta voce, perch茅 dire che qualcuno 猫 morto non vuole dire non esiste.
Erwin Blumenfeld
L'ha amata cos矛 tanto da sostenere che 猫 la vita ad aver perso con la sua morte.
Senza seguire regole precise, che non esistono, non esistono vie d鈥檕ro, ma solo aspettare e ascoltare il cuore.
In tedesco esiste la parola 鈥渟ehnsucht鈥�, che non ha traduzione in inglese, e neppure in italiano, parrebbe: 猫 lo struggimento, l鈥檌nconsolabile desiderio per qualcosa o qualcuno che non possiamo raggiungere.
Julien Oncete
A bassa voce, dopo aver spento le luci e lasciato solo un abat-jour, Julian Barnes ci porta in alto su aerostati palloni mongolfiere introducendoci ad alcune delle prime esperienze di volo鈥�
E poi, come se il senso di vertigine acquisito ascoltando i suoi racconti non fosse sufficiente, d鈥檌mprovviso, trasformando pagina 69 in pagina 70, annulla ogni profondit脿 scagliandoci in quella pi霉 abissale, la morte, e l鈥檃more鈥�
Ancora pi霉 gi霉, e sempre pi霉 su, la morte dell鈥檃more, la morte della persona amata鈥�
Come la terra vista dalla luna (dall鈥檃lto?), da quella profondit脿 prospettica 猫 immota pressoch茅 perfetta immersa nella quiete cosmica鈥�
Come osservare se stessi da lontano鈥�
La morte di sua moglie dopo trenta anni di amore vissuto insieme鈥�
Julian Barnes con la moglie.
Elaborazione del lutto?
Inutilit脿 del dolore, piuttosto.
La vita va avanti?
Il pensiero del suicidio che si propone, piuttosto (prestissimo, e molto razionalmente).
Come combattere il dolore, come anche solo arginare la solitudine?
Scrivendo, esercitando il raziocinio.
Operazione che ha successo?
No, dice Barnes 鈥� e io gli credo, anche se altri leggendolo diranno che invece 猫 riuscita.
I primi due capitoli sono preparatori al terzo, che 猫 il cuore del libro: come se avesse voluto costruire un鈥檌mpalcatura per evitare che fosse un puro urlo di dolore.
Il dolore indebolisce, non rafforza, isola, allontana.
Ha continuato a piangere la moglie, a sognarla, a cercarla nella memoria, l鈥檜nico modo per noi umani per ripetere la discesa di Orfeo 鈥� a parlarle ad alta voce, perch茅 dire che qualcuno 猫 morto non vuole dire non esiste.
Erwin Blumenfeld
L'ha amata cos矛 tanto da sostenere che 猫 la vita ad aver perso con la sua morte.
Senza seguire regole precise, che non esistono, non esistono vie d鈥檕ro, ma solo aspettare e ascoltare il cuore.
In tedesco esiste la parola 鈥渟ehnsucht鈥�, che non ha traduzione in inglese, e neppure in italiano, parrebbe: 猫 lo struggimento, l鈥檌nconsolabile desiderio per qualcosa o qualcuno che non possiamo raggiungere.
Read
February 3, 2024As I type these words, there's a huge stack of books in my sight line. The books lie horizontally rather than vertically but the spines look interesting laid flat that way. Their various colors and widths are like a graphic representation of the layers of geological strata beneath the earth's surface, a cross section of the world, as it were.
The books in the stack are the ones I selected at the beginning of January from the mountain of unread books I own, and I'm determined to reduce the selected pile to its base by the end of 2018. You may scoff, but in the last three weeks, I've succeeded in lowering it by three books. One was a slim book admittedly, but the pile is noticeably reduced and I feel uplifted.
My unread books project is not a high-level undertaking of course. In a world where volcanos and earthquakes regularly destroy not only peoples' piles of books, if they are fortunate enough to have them, but their entire lives, my little project is as low-level as you can find. However life can sometimes find a foothold in the shallowest of crannies, and I feel a definite level of satisfaction at having successfully begun the year on such a reducing principle. Some people resolve to shed weight, I've resolved to shed unread books.
There are gains in subtraction too. The book pile may be shrinking but I am growing, and this slim book is not without an impact on the heightening of my perceptions and the deepening of my understanding of the world. If you read , you may also see your view of the world expand and deepen.
Now to remove the next top-most book from the pile, one which I've been looking forward to reading for a while. But just as I reach for it, the chunky overly-decorated spine of a book I placed on the bottom seems to taunt me, accusing me of scuppering its chances by relegating it to the most inaccessible position. You don't really want to read me at all, it insinuates, you didn't believe you'd ever get to the bottom of the pile.
I know deep down that there's truth in that accusation - the book was a gift, after all, not of my own choosing, and by relegating it to the bottom level, it's as if I've sunk it to the depths forever. Sympathy for the underdog does battle with my enormous prejudices against the book, but the underdog eventually wins, and with one mighty heave, I haul it up from the underworld of the book stack. Ok, John Banville, I say, I will give you a fair chance, though the echo of Julian Barnes' Knit you own stuff! manifesto rings in my ears as I turn over the first page of his reworking of 'The Portrait of a Lady', .
There shall be no more novels which are really about other novels. No 鈥榤odern versions鈥�, reworkings, sequels or prequels. No imaginative completions of works left unfinished on their author鈥檚 death. Instead, every writer is to be issued with a sampler in coloured wools to hang over the fireplace. It reads: Knit Your Own Stuff. Julian Barnes, Levels of Life.
The books in the stack are the ones I selected at the beginning of January from the mountain of unread books I own, and I'm determined to reduce the selected pile to its base by the end of 2018. You may scoff, but in the last three weeks, I've succeeded in lowering it by three books. One was a slim book admittedly, but the pile is noticeably reduced and I feel uplifted.
My unread books project is not a high-level undertaking of course. In a world where volcanos and earthquakes regularly destroy not only peoples' piles of books, if they are fortunate enough to have them, but their entire lives, my little project is as low-level as you can find. However life can sometimes find a foothold in the shallowest of crannies, and I feel a definite level of satisfaction at having successfully begun the year on such a reducing principle. Some people resolve to shed weight, I've resolved to shed unread books.
There are gains in subtraction too. The book pile may be shrinking but I am growing, and this slim book is not without an impact on the heightening of my perceptions and the deepening of my understanding of the world. If you read , you may also see your view of the world expand and deepen.
Now to remove the next top-most book from the pile, one which I've been looking forward to reading for a while. But just as I reach for it, the chunky overly-decorated spine of a book I placed on the bottom seems to taunt me, accusing me of scuppering its chances by relegating it to the most inaccessible position. You don't really want to read me at all, it insinuates, you didn't believe you'd ever get to the bottom of the pile.
I know deep down that there's truth in that accusation - the book was a gift, after all, not of my own choosing, and by relegating it to the bottom level, it's as if I've sunk it to the depths forever. Sympathy for the underdog does battle with my enormous prejudices against the book, but the underdog eventually wins, and with one mighty heave, I haul it up from the underworld of the book stack. Ok, John Banville, I say, I will give you a fair chance, though the echo of Julian Barnes' Knit you own stuff! manifesto rings in my ears as I turn over the first page of his reworking of 'The Portrait of a Lady', .
There shall be no more novels which are really about other novels. No 鈥榤odern versions鈥�, reworkings, sequels or prequels. No imaginative completions of works left unfinished on their author鈥檚 death. Instead, every writer is to be issued with a sampler in coloured wools to hang over the fireplace. It reads: Knit Your Own Stuff. Julian Barnes, Levels of Life.
December 4, 2013
The title announces the premise: there are definite highs and lows in life and a great author (like Barnes) can lay them out metaphorically and emotionally. At the topmost level we soar, giddy with love, thrilled by the ride. At the unlucky other end, we may have lost a loved one, crashing hard in the fall, crippled by grief. Barnes probed these levels by structuring this short book into three parts:
1) 鈥淭he Sin of Height鈥� -- this is essentially an extended metaphor depicting freedom and flight by way of three celebrated balloonists in the late 19th century. One was an English officer and adventurer, Colonel Fred Burnaby; another was the most famous actress in her day, the exotic French bohemian, Sarah Bernhardt; and the third was a French inventor who was the first to combine ballooning and photography (another metaphor), a man they called Nadar. This section contains historical snippets, switching often among the subjects. In these we learn that Burnaby is bull-headed, Bernhardt is free-spirited, and Nadar is 鈥渧ery witty and very stupid.鈥� Aside from the factoids about the people and their experiences, we get a sense of the excitement and unpredictability of ballooning and also how the sin of height may be punished. Remember that guy Icarus?
2) 鈥淥n the Level鈥� -- the focus in this section was on Burnaby and Bernhardt who did meet in real life, but whose full story is left to Barnes to flesh out. Anyone who has read , the historical fiction Barnes wrote about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and a falsely accused solicitor named George Edalji, knows how effective this format can be, where actual events are filled in with plausible details and dialog to bring the story alive. The romance between these two larger-than-life figures was not fully requited in the end. Its main purpose, it would seem, was to transition us between the highs of Part 1 and the lows in Part 3. It also spoke in generalities and abstractions. 鈥淲hy do we constantly aspire to love? Because love is the meeting point of truth and magic. Truth, as in photography; magic, as in ballooning.鈥� The title of this section was repeated in the text. Was Sarah 鈥渙n the level鈥� with Fred as they came to their understanding?
3) 鈥淭he Loss of Depth鈥�-- this was the meat of the book; its real, albeit sad purpose. 鈥淚t was 37 days from diagnosis to death,鈥� Barnes wrote of his dear wife. As long as I鈥檓 quoting, he reminded us, too, that 鈥渆very love story is a potential grief story.鈥� A gifted writer like Barnes speaks of his emotional state with honesty and clarity without any of the overwrought melodrama could have resulted under the circumstances. Nor did he sugar-coat the ordeal. He was frank about how little happiness there is in just the memory of happiness. His pain was displayed at its worst when he discussed his carefully choreographed suicide plan. Fortunately, the time came when he knew he would not kill himself. He said 鈥淚 realised that, insofar as she was alive at all, she was alive in my memory.鈥� So memory matters after all. I hope, too, that even as he felt 鈥渟harply the loss of shared vocabulary, of tropes, teases, short cuts, injokes, sillinesses, faux rebukes, amatory footnotes 鈥� all those obscure references rich in memory but valueless if explained to an outsider,鈥� that these things would remain rich.
The goal of this three-part exercise was clear. Parts 1 and 2 were meant to set the stage and provide context for the memoir/essay in Part 3. The grief language was expanded by way of contrast with the earlier theme (or in concert with the theme when it happened to go wrong, e.g., hurtling a balloonist鈥檚 legs a foot deep into a flower bed and exploding his organs). The truth is this level breakdown felt a bit forced at times. I won鈥檛 criticize too harshly, though, since each section worked well enough individually even if the set of them didn鈥檛 cohere.
This had to have been a difficult book for Barnes to write. I imagine a form of tunnel vision applies where you can only see things from your own painful point of view. The solipsistic undertones were no doubt born of honest emotion. Friends typically didn鈥檛 help much. He would complain about those who would mention her name too often and those who would avoid mentioning it at all. The words 鈥減assing away鈥� and 鈥渓osing her鈥� irked him, too. And he really hated (as would I) those who would cite as Gospel truth that whatever doesn鈥檛 kill you makes you stronger. All that is understandable. I suppose, too, that this was meant to be less of a tribute to his wife and more of an in-depth exposition on grief. (See Calvin Trillin鈥檚 for one that is a touching memorial to the love of a man's life.)
Barnes asserted that grief is a state whereas mourning is a process. His book was primarily about the state, but near the end he did mention in more hopeful terms that he鈥檚 getting better. One thing that helped was when a widow he knew told him 鈥渋t hurts as much as it鈥檚 worth.鈥� He finally learned to accept his pain in those terms. And, of course, time helps. As does a realization that he鈥檚 not alone in missing her; others do too. I also thought that having used 鈥渦xorious鈥� half a dozen times (which must be a record) that he wore the word like a badge. If this book was part of the process for moving on, I鈥檓 glad for his sake he wrote it.
1) 鈥淭he Sin of Height鈥� -- this is essentially an extended metaphor depicting freedom and flight by way of three celebrated balloonists in the late 19th century. One was an English officer and adventurer, Colonel Fred Burnaby; another was the most famous actress in her day, the exotic French bohemian, Sarah Bernhardt; and the third was a French inventor who was the first to combine ballooning and photography (another metaphor), a man they called Nadar. This section contains historical snippets, switching often among the subjects. In these we learn that Burnaby is bull-headed, Bernhardt is free-spirited, and Nadar is 鈥渧ery witty and very stupid.鈥� Aside from the factoids about the people and their experiences, we get a sense of the excitement and unpredictability of ballooning and also how the sin of height may be punished. Remember that guy Icarus?
2) 鈥淥n the Level鈥� -- the focus in this section was on Burnaby and Bernhardt who did meet in real life, but whose full story is left to Barnes to flesh out. Anyone who has read , the historical fiction Barnes wrote about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and a falsely accused solicitor named George Edalji, knows how effective this format can be, where actual events are filled in with plausible details and dialog to bring the story alive. The romance between these two larger-than-life figures was not fully requited in the end. Its main purpose, it would seem, was to transition us between the highs of Part 1 and the lows in Part 3. It also spoke in generalities and abstractions. 鈥淲hy do we constantly aspire to love? Because love is the meeting point of truth and magic. Truth, as in photography; magic, as in ballooning.鈥� The title of this section was repeated in the text. Was Sarah 鈥渙n the level鈥� with Fred as they came to their understanding?
3) 鈥淭he Loss of Depth鈥�-- this was the meat of the book; its real, albeit sad purpose. 鈥淚t was 37 days from diagnosis to death,鈥� Barnes wrote of his dear wife. As long as I鈥檓 quoting, he reminded us, too, that 鈥渆very love story is a potential grief story.鈥� A gifted writer like Barnes speaks of his emotional state with honesty and clarity without any of the overwrought melodrama could have resulted under the circumstances. Nor did he sugar-coat the ordeal. He was frank about how little happiness there is in just the memory of happiness. His pain was displayed at its worst when he discussed his carefully choreographed suicide plan. Fortunately, the time came when he knew he would not kill himself. He said 鈥淚 realised that, insofar as she was alive at all, she was alive in my memory.鈥� So memory matters after all. I hope, too, that even as he felt 鈥渟harply the loss of shared vocabulary, of tropes, teases, short cuts, injokes, sillinesses, faux rebukes, amatory footnotes 鈥� all those obscure references rich in memory but valueless if explained to an outsider,鈥� that these things would remain rich.
The goal of this three-part exercise was clear. Parts 1 and 2 were meant to set the stage and provide context for the memoir/essay in Part 3. The grief language was expanded by way of contrast with the earlier theme (or in concert with the theme when it happened to go wrong, e.g., hurtling a balloonist鈥檚 legs a foot deep into a flower bed and exploding his organs). The truth is this level breakdown felt a bit forced at times. I won鈥檛 criticize too harshly, though, since each section worked well enough individually even if the set of them didn鈥檛 cohere.
This had to have been a difficult book for Barnes to write. I imagine a form of tunnel vision applies where you can only see things from your own painful point of view. The solipsistic undertones were no doubt born of honest emotion. Friends typically didn鈥檛 help much. He would complain about those who would mention her name too often and those who would avoid mentioning it at all. The words 鈥減assing away鈥� and 鈥渓osing her鈥� irked him, too. And he really hated (as would I) those who would cite as Gospel truth that whatever doesn鈥檛 kill you makes you stronger. All that is understandable. I suppose, too, that this was meant to be less of a tribute to his wife and more of an in-depth exposition on grief. (See Calvin Trillin鈥檚 for one that is a touching memorial to the love of a man's life.)
Barnes asserted that grief is a state whereas mourning is a process. His book was primarily about the state, but near the end he did mention in more hopeful terms that he鈥檚 getting better. One thing that helped was when a widow he knew told him 鈥渋t hurts as much as it鈥檚 worth.鈥� He finally learned to accept his pain in those terms. And, of course, time helps. As does a realization that he鈥檚 not alone in missing her; others do too. I also thought that having used 鈥渦xorious鈥� half a dozen times (which must be a record) that he wore the word like a badge. If this book was part of the process for moving on, I鈥檓 glad for his sake he wrote it.
May 1, 2023
Un roman / eseu haotic 葯i inegal.
Despre Niveluri de via葲膬 s-a spus, adesea, c膬 e cea mai bun膬 carte a lui Julian Barnes. Nu s卯nt foarte sigur. Observ c膬 urmeaz膬 un model pe care autorul l-a mai folosit 卯n Papagalul lui Flaubert 葯i 卯n B膬rbatul cu haina ro葯ie: un amestec de biografie 葯i comentariu erudit, de fic葲iune 葯i eseu. F膬r膬 nici un avertisment din partea povestitorului, 卯nt卯mpl膬rile reale se pierd 卯ntr-o tram膬 de 卯nt卯mpl膬ri inventate 葯i, uneori, nu-葲i dai seama c膬 ai intrat 卯n fic葲iune.
脦苍 Niveluri de via葲膬 , iubirea fulger膬toare dintre actri葲a Sarah Bernhardt 葯i 鈥瀋膬pitanul鈥� Fred Burnaby este cel mai uimitor exemplu. Portretul actri葲ei este de un pitoresc demen葲ial. Diva 葲ine 卯n cas膬 (ori 卯n preajma ei): dou膬 capre, un leopard, o mierl膬, un papagal, o maimu葲膬 prieten膬 cu papagalul 葯i un 葯arpe boa constrictor, care-i 卯nghite pernele de pe canapea 葯i trebuie suprimat cu un glon葲. 脦苍 plus, Sarah este una dintre pu葲inele femei care-葯i respect膬 riguros toate promisiunile cu excep葲ia celor pe care nu 葯i le respect膬.
Dac膬 nu vrei s膬 te la葯i p膬c膬lit, va trebui s膬 verifici 鈥瀎aptele鈥�, s膬 cite葯ti o istorie a baloanelor cu aer cald (apoi a celor cu hidrogen), s膬 cau葲i 卯n dic葲ionar nume uitate sau/葯i exotice, cum e 葯i acest 鈥瀋膬pitan鈥� Frederick Gustavus Burnaby, pasionat de c膬l膬toria cu aerostatul pe deasupra Canalului M卯necii. C卯nd scrie despre argonau葲ii din balon (despre fotograful Nadar - F茅lix Tournachon, s膬 spunem), Julian Barnes r膬m卯ne 卯n v膬zduh. C卯nd poveste葯te rela葲ia dintre zburdalnica actri葲膬 葯i bietul Fred Burnaby, coboar膬 pe p膬m卯nt. Totu葯i, nivelul r膬m卯ne cel anecdotic.
脦苍 fine, c卯nd mediteaz膬 la suferin葲a provocat膬 de moartea so葲iei sale, Pat Kavanagh (1940 - 2008), autorul trebuie s膬 coboare, ca Orfeu dup膬 Euridice, 卯n lumea de jos. Este partea grav膬 a c膬r葲ii, care trimite, evident, la 卯ntreb膬rile din Nimicul de temut. Julian Barnes vorbe葯te despre doliu 葯i durere (nu se suprapun), despre 卯ncerc膬rile st卯ngace ale prietenilor de a-l 卯mb膬rb膬ta, despre solitudine, despre dec膬derea limbii engleze (鈥瀞-a dus鈥�, 鈥瀉 trecut鈥� pentru 鈥瀉 muri鈥�), despre efectul benefic al operei (Don Carlos de Verdi, Orfeu 葯i Euridice de Christoph Willibald Gluck) etc.
Aici am citit 葯i cel mai emo葲ionant argument 卯mpotriva sinuciderii: 鈥濧 durat un timp, dar 卯mi amintesc momentul 鈥� de fapt, argumentul ivit pe nepus膬 mas膬 鈥� 卯n urma c膬ruia a sc膬zut probabilitatea s膬 m膬 sinucid. Mi-am dat seama c膬, 卯n m膬sura 卯n care ea era 卯n via牛膬, era 卯n memoria mea. Bine卯n牛eles, r膬m膬sese 艧i 卯n min牛ile altor oameni; dar eu eram primul pe lista aducerii-aminte. Dac膬 era undeva, era 卯n膬untrul meu, interiorizat膬. Era un lucru firesc. 艦i era la fel de firesc 鈥� 艧i de irefutabil 鈥� s膬 nu pot s膬 m膬 sinucid, fiindc膬 ar 卯nsemna s-o ucid 艧i pe ea. Ar muri a doua oar膬, iar amintirile mele str膬lucitoare despre ea s-ar estompa pe m膬sur膬 ce apa din cad膬 s-ar 卯nro艧i鈥� (p.88).
Leg膬tura dintre 鈥瀗ivelurile de via葲膬鈥� nu mi s-ap膬rut deloc evident膬. Julian Barnes sare de la una la alta f膬r膬 o logic膬 serioas膬. Cartea e un mixtum compositum: o colec葲ie de anecdote amuzante urmat膬 de o medita葲ie despre doliu. P膬r葲ile nu se 卯ntrecuprind...
Despre Niveluri de via葲膬 s-a spus, adesea, c膬 e cea mai bun膬 carte a lui Julian Barnes. Nu s卯nt foarte sigur. Observ c膬 urmeaz膬 un model pe care autorul l-a mai folosit 卯n Papagalul lui Flaubert 葯i 卯n B膬rbatul cu haina ro葯ie: un amestec de biografie 葯i comentariu erudit, de fic葲iune 葯i eseu. F膬r膬 nici un avertisment din partea povestitorului, 卯nt卯mpl膬rile reale se pierd 卯ntr-o tram膬 de 卯nt卯mpl膬ri inventate 葯i, uneori, nu-葲i dai seama c膬 ai intrat 卯n fic葲iune.
脦苍 Niveluri de via葲膬 , iubirea fulger膬toare dintre actri葲a Sarah Bernhardt 葯i 鈥瀋膬pitanul鈥� Fred Burnaby este cel mai uimitor exemplu. Portretul actri葲ei este de un pitoresc demen葲ial. Diva 葲ine 卯n cas膬 (ori 卯n preajma ei): dou膬 capre, un leopard, o mierl膬, un papagal, o maimu葲膬 prieten膬 cu papagalul 葯i un 葯arpe boa constrictor, care-i 卯nghite pernele de pe canapea 葯i trebuie suprimat cu un glon葲. 脦苍 plus, Sarah este una dintre pu葲inele femei care-葯i respect膬 riguros toate promisiunile cu excep葲ia celor pe care nu 葯i le respect膬.
Dac膬 nu vrei s膬 te la葯i p膬c膬lit, va trebui s膬 verifici 鈥瀎aptele鈥�, s膬 cite葯ti o istorie a baloanelor cu aer cald (apoi a celor cu hidrogen), s膬 cau葲i 卯n dic葲ionar nume uitate sau/葯i exotice, cum e 葯i acest 鈥瀋膬pitan鈥� Frederick Gustavus Burnaby, pasionat de c膬l膬toria cu aerostatul pe deasupra Canalului M卯necii. C卯nd scrie despre argonau葲ii din balon (despre fotograful Nadar - F茅lix Tournachon, s膬 spunem), Julian Barnes r膬m卯ne 卯n v膬zduh. C卯nd poveste葯te rela葲ia dintre zburdalnica actri葲膬 葯i bietul Fred Burnaby, coboar膬 pe p膬m卯nt. Totu葯i, nivelul r膬m卯ne cel anecdotic.
脦苍 fine, c卯nd mediteaz膬 la suferin葲a provocat膬 de moartea so葲iei sale, Pat Kavanagh (1940 - 2008), autorul trebuie s膬 coboare, ca Orfeu dup膬 Euridice, 卯n lumea de jos. Este partea grav膬 a c膬r葲ii, care trimite, evident, la 卯ntreb膬rile din Nimicul de temut. Julian Barnes vorbe葯te despre doliu 葯i durere (nu se suprapun), despre 卯ncerc膬rile st卯ngace ale prietenilor de a-l 卯mb膬rb膬ta, despre solitudine, despre dec膬derea limbii engleze (鈥瀞-a dus鈥�, 鈥瀉 trecut鈥� pentru 鈥瀉 muri鈥�), despre efectul benefic al operei (Don Carlos de Verdi, Orfeu 葯i Euridice de Christoph Willibald Gluck) etc.
Aici am citit 葯i cel mai emo葲ionant argument 卯mpotriva sinuciderii: 鈥濧 durat un timp, dar 卯mi amintesc momentul 鈥� de fapt, argumentul ivit pe nepus膬 mas膬 鈥� 卯n urma c膬ruia a sc膬zut probabilitatea s膬 m膬 sinucid. Mi-am dat seama c膬, 卯n m膬sura 卯n care ea era 卯n via牛膬, era 卯n memoria mea. Bine卯n牛eles, r膬m膬sese 艧i 卯n min牛ile altor oameni; dar eu eram primul pe lista aducerii-aminte. Dac膬 era undeva, era 卯n膬untrul meu, interiorizat膬. Era un lucru firesc. 艦i era la fel de firesc 鈥� 艧i de irefutabil 鈥� s膬 nu pot s膬 m膬 sinucid, fiindc膬 ar 卯nsemna s-o ucid 艧i pe ea. Ar muri a doua oar膬, iar amintirile mele str膬lucitoare despre ea s-ar estompa pe m膬sur膬 ce apa din cad膬 s-ar 卯nro艧i鈥� (p.88).
Leg膬tura dintre 鈥瀗ivelurile de via葲膬鈥� nu mi s-ap膬rut deloc evident膬. Julian Barnes sare de la una la alta f膬r膬 o logic膬 serioas膬. Cartea e un mixtum compositum: o colec葲ie de anecdote amuzante urmat膬 de o medita葲ie despre doliu. P膬r葲ile nu se 卯ntrecuprind...
October 28, 2017
Grief is another word for love
鈥淵ou put together two things that have not been put together before. And the world is changed. People may not notice at the time, but doesn鈥檛 matter. The world changed nonetheless.鈥�
How difficult is it to write about love? And to express grief is perhaps even more onerous. We have plethora of literature written about both love and grief still we find ourselves quite incompetent on each occasion we try to pen down these feelings. Generally, love seems to elude our writing hand but we write mostly about grief, probably that鈥檚 one of the ways to get over the grief i.e. to express it. Possibly we try to understand or just get a handle on grief, which is usually different from what we think it鈥檇 be. Well, grief is not merely sadness, it鈥檚 much profound than that; the nostalgia we feel when we try to brave ourselves over our memories however only to be further haunted by them. We, in general, grapple around loss, the fear to talk or think about death send chills through our bones. But we have a safe medium where we may be able to express ourselves about grief and that is writing. Though writing is a quite impersonal form of expression but a piece of art becomes independent of its creator after its conclusion and has its unique identity oblivious to that of its creator. And conceivably that鈥檚 how we have so many great memoirs, other forms of art about grief since the shyness one may encounter while discussing grief in private domain, reduced to nothingness as one steps in the public space.
It鈥檚 not always that you find yourself at loss of words to express these most profound of human feelings but sometimes perhaps you struggle to sort out the right form. One might say that the book is about ballooning, photography, love and grief; about putting two things, and two people, together, and about tearing them apart, but the book is about life, life as we know it build around love, loss, crests/ troughs, pain, emotions. Love which envelops pain inside itself, as we unwrap its covers we find grief hidden below the layers of it. We may get awed of this cognitive and social phenomenon but as we look into deep recesses of our psyche we might find that grief is another word for love.
Grief makes your stomach turn, snatches the breath from you, cuts off the blood supply to the brain; mourning blows you in a new direction. But since you are now in enveloping cloud, it is impossible to tell if you are marooned or deceptively in motion.
Grief is the negative image of love; and if there can be accumulation of love over the years, then why not of grief?
Levels of life is a moving, heartfelt and superbly crafted artifact and a desolating guidebook to the land of loss. It鈥檚 the first time I read Julian Barnes but he writes with so aphoristic simplicity and a calm profundity that sometimes it appears profoundly grief-struck but a paean of love and on love- a book full of life. The form of the book may not be categorized to the 鈥榯raditional鈥� known divisions we have in literature- as it can鈥檛 be put in fiction since it is not so (purely) or non-fiction as it has the elements of imagination of author intertwined with facts or neither into a typical biography or memoir, it鈥檚 one of the rare achievements in modern times surpassing the boundaries of art.
The book is written as a long metaphor build around balloon flight, photography to portray freedom, heights, memories, love and grief. It is divided into three sections- The Sin of Height, On the Level and The Loss of Depth- which sound in tune with title of the book, all three sections seem to be allegorically justifying the title. The first section offers a brief history of French ballooning through the entity of F茅lix Tournachon, alias Nadar 鈥� in the starring role. A love story is also a potential grief story as we move down deep into abyss of human emotions, on the similar notes every story of ascending of balloon- its symbolism of freedom- may also be a potential disaster; as well as adventure, there is hubris and farce. The emotions one may feel during flights symbolize giddy elation of first love.
Ballooning represented freedom- yet a freedom subservient to the powers of wind and weather. Aeronauts often couldn鈥檛 tell if they were moving or stationary, gaining height or losing it.
Abroad the Dona Sol, 鈥榯he Divine Sarah鈥� is in heaven. She finds that up above the clouds there is 鈥榥ot silence, but the shadow of silence.鈥� She feels the balloon to be 鈥榯he emblem of uttermost freedom鈥�- which is also how most groundlings would have viewed the actress herself.
The height is used here to embody the abstract thoughts as one would appreciate the lightness of things, which we think are matter of life and death, as one comes out of eccentricity and looks at one self objectively omitting the petty issues. Altitude 鈥榬educes all things to their relative proportions, and to the Truth.鈥� Cares, remorse, disgust become strangers: 鈥楬ow easily indifference, contempt, forgetfulness drop away鈥� and forgiveness descends.鈥� Nadar took photography to a different level altogether, he didn't just get up in the clouds, colonizing God's space, he took pictures, when all our previous imagery had been Earthbound. However the new spread in the sky was perhaps too hopeful, probably as sinister as that on earth was, since the state of temporal suspension between dimensions of time signifies the maturity of human race.
And the aerostatic photographs that exist are of only passable quality: we must imagine the excitement back into them. But they represent a moment when the world grew up. Or perhaps that is too melodramatic, and too hopeful. Perhaps the world progresses not by maturing, but by being in a permanent state of adolescence, of thrilled discovery.
You put together two things that have not been put together before; and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn鈥檛.
You put together two people who have not been put together before; and sometimes the world is changed, sometimes doesn鈥檛. They may crash and burn, or burn and crash. But sometimes, something new is made, and then the world is changed.
The second section of the book- On the Level-is a fictionalized account of the affair between Burnaby and Bernhardt. She broke his heart. "Love may not be evenly matched; perhaps it rarely is," Barnes tells us. Burnaby keeps asking himself whether Bernhardt was "on the level". Is she on the level? He concludes that she was, but that there are no guarantees in love. And yet we keep on aspire to love, may be because love is the meeting point of truth and magic. Truth, as in photography; magic, as in ballooning. On the Level may represent the settled period of affection, never again flying with excitement and inebriation, however grounded, with all the solaces that security brings. We live on the flat, on the level, and yet- and so 鈥搘e aspire. Groundlings, we can sometimes reach as far as the gods. Some soar with art, others with religion; most with love. But when we soar, we can also crash. There are few soft landings. We may find ourselves bouncing across the ground with leg-fracturing force, dragged towards some foreign railway line. Every love story is a potential grief story. If not at first, then later. If not for one, then for the other. Sometimes, for both. Bernhardt was not merely flirting, but she live in the moment and sensations those moments may bring are what she longs for, and so commitment was not her feature. Rejected, he wonders if it isn't better to live among clouds, deluded, than on the level. "The pain was to last several years."
鈥橭h, but I can say. And I do. I am made for sensation, for pleasure, for the moment. I am constantly in search of new sensations, new emotions. That is how I shall be until my life is worn away. My heart desires more excitement than anyone- any one person- can give.鈥�
You put together two people who have not been put together before. Sometimes it is like that first attempt to harness a hydrogen balloon to a fire balloon: do you prefer crash and burn, or burn and crash? But sometimes it works, and something new is made, and the world is changed. Then, at some point, sooner or later, for this reason or that, one of them is taken away. And what is taken away is greater than the sum of what was there. This may not be mathematically possible; but it is emotionally possible.
The first two sections acts as preludes to the final section-The Loss of Depth- which is a searing 50-page historical essay that concludes the book describes descent 鈥� no upper air, no perspective, just darkness and despair. We get to look into the personal grief of Barnes, a gulf of sorrow in which he calmly contemplated drowning. He meticulously planned his own suicide, should he need to resort to that escape. The enigmatic concept of death is touched upon by the author in relation to his personal grief- how it may be different experience for every person; the grief it may bring is also banal and unique like death itself, for we realize others鈥� despair only when we personally experience it. The existential tussle between individuality and conformity is contemplated by the author at length in response to the different feelings people develops towards their grief; the irrationality of being angry with the person- who has abandoned us- or God or universe for that matter as they are playing their roles offers some consolation to the grieved soul since the rational process may be logically deductible but it does not balm human emotions.
There is the question of anger. Some are angry with the person who has died, who has abandoned them, betrayed them by losing life. What could be more irrational than that? Few die willingly, not even most suicides. Some of the griefstruck are angry with God, but if He doesn鈥檛 exist, that too is irrational. Some are angry with the universe for letting it happen, for this being the inevitable, irreversible case.
It鈥檚 just the universe doing its stuff鈥�. That was 鈥榓ll鈥� that 鈥榠t鈥�- this enormous, tremendous 鈥榠t鈥� 鈥搘as. The words didn鈥檛 hold any consolation; perhaps they were a way of resisting alternative, false consolations. But if the universe was just doing its stuff, it could do its stuff to itself as well, and to hell with it. What did I care about saving the world if the world couldn鈥檛, wouldn鈥檛, save her?
鈥楽orrow is a kind of rust of the soul, which every new idea contributes in its passage to scour away.鈥�
There are two essential kinds of loneliness: that of not having found someone to love, and that of having been deprived of the one you did love.
Pain shows that you have not forgotten; pain enhances the flavor of memory; pain is a proof of love. 鈥業f it didn鈥檛 matter, it wouldn鈥檛 matter.鈥�
It is all just the universe doing its stuff, and we are stuff it is being done to. And so, perhaps, with grief. We imagine we have battled against it, our soul, when all that has happened is that grief has moved elsewhere, shifted its interest.
Levels of Life is one such book that levels with us just to a limited degree. Its reverberation originates from everything it doesn't state, and in addition what it does; from the profundity of affection we induce desert of anguish as the author says that each romantic tale is a potential painful one. This is the first time I read Julian Barnes and thoroughly enjoyed it. I would say anyone who wants to understand the underlying human emotions beneath the veneer of so called simple love or grief could read it. It would, however, touch upon the paining strings of your heart but as your move through the book it would propels a balmy, soothing sensation to your troubled soul.
4/5
August 24, 2015
I was introduced to Julian Barnes with his 2011 Man Booker prize winner, The Sense of an Ending, which is a favorite of mine. After finishing an 800 page book recently, I looked for something shorter this time and chose Barnes' 128 page Levels of Life. It is unimaginable as to how the author was able to fit in so much emotion into this short mix of history and memoir.
Levels of Life is like nothing else I have ever read. Filled with his personal thoughts about the love and then grief he felt after his wife Pat Kavanagh died in 2008 is extraordinary. The book is broken down into three levels. The first two of which I agree with Stephen Gilbert's review as to being uncertain as to how flying in a balloon fit in and also had a tendency to skim through the first two sections. The third section of the book, The Loss of Depth, is his masterpiece on grief. His description of what he went through - mourning, loss, grief, anger, and suicidal thoughts are words from his soul. Enlightening is the reactions of others to his wife's death from those that don't say anything, like she never existed, to those that do on different levels. Barnes said it so well with this quote -
"This is what those who haven't crossed the tropic of grief often fail to understand: the fact that someone is dead may mean that they are not alive, but doesn't mean that they do not exist."
For those that have experienced grief and for those that have not, I highly recommend reading Levels of Life. Unforgetable.
5 out of 5 stars.
Levels of Life is like nothing else I have ever read. Filled with his personal thoughts about the love and then grief he felt after his wife Pat Kavanagh died in 2008 is extraordinary. The book is broken down into three levels. The first two of which I agree with Stephen Gilbert's review as to being uncertain as to how flying in a balloon fit in and also had a tendency to skim through the first two sections. The third section of the book, The Loss of Depth, is his masterpiece on grief. His description of what he went through - mourning, loss, grief, anger, and suicidal thoughts are words from his soul. Enlightening is the reactions of others to his wife's death from those that don't say anything, like she never existed, to those that do on different levels. Barnes said it so well with this quote -
"This is what those who haven't crossed the tropic of grief often fail to understand: the fact that someone is dead may mean that they are not alive, but doesn't mean that they do not exist."
For those that have experienced grief and for those that have not, I highly recommend reading Levels of Life. Unforgetable.
5 out of 5 stars.
December 28, 2014
鈥淵ou put together two things that have not been put together before. And the world is changed鈥�, proclaims Julian Barnes in the first two sentences that open this atypical book, an idea that becomes the foundation and pillar of three seemingly unrelated stories that concoct Levels of Life.
Take photography and balloons as the first example.
The French photographer Nadar had a thrill for experimentation and decided to take distance from terra firma to gain a better perspective from afar. He captured the skies with the first aerostatic images in 1868, aspiring to be the eye of God. He changed mankind鈥檚 view of the world.
Take the improbable affair between a British Colonel and a bohemian French actress as the second example.
Both Sarah Bernhardt and Fred Burnaby were adventurers and soared the skies in balloons, but their pioneering souls dropped ballast when they looked each other in the eye on ground level. Sometimes "you put together two people who have not been put together before; and sometimes the world is changed, sometimes not.鈥�
Barnes is an elegant illusionist. He is also a virtuoso in the use of metaphor and syllogism. And so displaying a pristine journalistic style straddling historical fiction and specialized documentary, he weaves a subtle internal rhythm between the experiences of these historical figures and something the reader can鈥檛 anticipate: a devastatingly introspective and crude autobiographical confession of a personal ordeal such as the loss of his wife, which gives shape to the final section of the book titled 鈥淭he loss of depth鈥�.
The ground shakes and the mirage of the protective Eye in the sky deflates when the core of a life is ruthlessly taken away, leaving only a carcass that functions like an automaton because the spark that ignited its senses has permanently gone out.
鈥淎nd what is taken away is greater than the sum of what was there. This may not be mathematically possible, but it is emotionally possible.鈥�
With the straightforwardness of expression characteristic of an intimate diary that can easily create discomfiture to the reader for its voyeuristic undertone but successfully avoiding sugary sentimentalism, Barnes writes down how life ebbed away from him after his wife Pat was diagnosed with a deadly tumor that killed her in 37 days after thirty years of marriage.
Grief, bereavement, loneliness, sadness, confusion, retaliation, anger鈥� Barnes鈥� words carry bits and pieces of his soul that drag the reader down to the currents of a man鈥檚 mind in turmoil facing the loss of a beloved and the inherent phases of mourning.
The ineffective appeal to God, the torture of revisiting memories, the intermittent relief of drugged sleep, where the living can be reunited with the dead and consciousness ceases to be, the complex and diverging reactions from friends and acquaintances, the general rejection to address illness and death openly and the tendency to transform those words into taboos to be shunned at all costs, the sense of constant dislocation, the danger of accepting grief as a new given condition.
鈥淲hat is 鈥渟uccess鈥� in mourning? Does it lie in remembering or in forgetting?鈥�
Barnes鈥� chilling testimony will make the blood run cold in the reader鈥檚 veins and his unnerving reflections transcend the personal sphere and reach the status of a universal treaty on how to face death and its dendritic manifestations today. Doubtlessly.
But the humble reader who is typing these letter here and who confesses being a helpless romantic, believes that Levels of Life is ultimately the irrefutable paean to Barnes鈥� deep love for his wife rather than an ode to his pain.
Finally, the fact that Barnes is not prone to moralizing gives a superior level to his low-keyed reflections on loss, pain and love, which invite the reader to take perspective, look himself in the Eye and guide him to find in love the meeting point between truth and magic.
鈥淟ove may not lead where we think or hope, but regardless of outcome it should be a call to seriousness and truth. If it is not that - if it is not moral in its effect - then love is no more than an exaggerated form of pleasure.鈥�
Eye Balloon by Odilon Redon
Take photography and balloons as the first example.
The French photographer Nadar had a thrill for experimentation and decided to take distance from terra firma to gain a better perspective from afar. He captured the skies with the first aerostatic images in 1868, aspiring to be the eye of God. He changed mankind鈥檚 view of the world.
Take the improbable affair between a British Colonel and a bohemian French actress as the second example.
Both Sarah Bernhardt and Fred Burnaby were adventurers and soared the skies in balloons, but their pioneering souls dropped ballast when they looked each other in the eye on ground level. Sometimes "you put together two people who have not been put together before; and sometimes the world is changed, sometimes not.鈥�
Barnes is an elegant illusionist. He is also a virtuoso in the use of metaphor and syllogism. And so displaying a pristine journalistic style straddling historical fiction and specialized documentary, he weaves a subtle internal rhythm between the experiences of these historical figures and something the reader can鈥檛 anticipate: a devastatingly introspective and crude autobiographical confession of a personal ordeal such as the loss of his wife, which gives shape to the final section of the book titled 鈥淭he loss of depth鈥�.
The ground shakes and the mirage of the protective Eye in the sky deflates when the core of a life is ruthlessly taken away, leaving only a carcass that functions like an automaton because the spark that ignited its senses has permanently gone out.
鈥淎nd what is taken away is greater than the sum of what was there. This may not be mathematically possible, but it is emotionally possible.鈥�
With the straightforwardness of expression characteristic of an intimate diary that can easily create discomfiture to the reader for its voyeuristic undertone but successfully avoiding sugary sentimentalism, Barnes writes down how life ebbed away from him after his wife Pat was diagnosed with a deadly tumor that killed her in 37 days after thirty years of marriage.
Grief, bereavement, loneliness, sadness, confusion, retaliation, anger鈥� Barnes鈥� words carry bits and pieces of his soul that drag the reader down to the currents of a man鈥檚 mind in turmoil facing the loss of a beloved and the inherent phases of mourning.
The ineffective appeal to God, the torture of revisiting memories, the intermittent relief of drugged sleep, where the living can be reunited with the dead and consciousness ceases to be, the complex and diverging reactions from friends and acquaintances, the general rejection to address illness and death openly and the tendency to transform those words into taboos to be shunned at all costs, the sense of constant dislocation, the danger of accepting grief as a new given condition.
鈥淲hat is 鈥渟uccess鈥� in mourning? Does it lie in remembering or in forgetting?鈥�
Barnes鈥� chilling testimony will make the blood run cold in the reader鈥檚 veins and his unnerving reflections transcend the personal sphere and reach the status of a universal treaty on how to face death and its dendritic manifestations today. Doubtlessly.
But the humble reader who is typing these letter here and who confesses being a helpless romantic, believes that Levels of Life is ultimately the irrefutable paean to Barnes鈥� deep love for his wife rather than an ode to his pain.
Finally, the fact that Barnes is not prone to moralizing gives a superior level to his low-keyed reflections on loss, pain and love, which invite the reader to take perspective, look himself in the Eye and guide him to find in love the meeting point between truth and magic.
鈥淟ove may not lead where we think or hope, but regardless of outcome it should be a call to seriousness and truth. If it is not that - if it is not moral in its effect - then love is no more than an exaggerated form of pleasure.鈥�
Eye Balloon by Odilon Redon
June 4, 2021
Oh wow...
I need to strike while the iron is hot with this one.
Don't be fooled by the apparent anecdotal aloofness of the first two sections of this recollection of grief. They deal with balloons and height and stories of Englishmen and Frenchmen, famous and less famous. They deal with Sarah Bernhardt and Nadar and officers and life lived "on the level" (I will let you discover exactly what that means). The third section's more personal narrative could not have been written without them. Their context is what underlines every single word that follows.
Here, even in mourning, Julian Barnes is Julian Barnes. A writer obsessed with leitmotifs, patterns, stories as they are told to us and learned in books, historical anecdotes as they serve to illuminate our own lives, animating them like shadow-theatre. A writer obsessed with metaphors. A writer obsessed with connecting and interweaving past events with our trembling, seeking present.
Julian Barnes writes about love and life and grief through the most delicate exploration of the "levels of life", from intoxicating heights to unbearable lows, with the radical intelligence and beating heart that inhabit all his books.
This is simply one of the most beautiful declarations of love that I have ever read.
I need to strike while the iron is hot with this one.
Don't be fooled by the apparent anecdotal aloofness of the first two sections of this recollection of grief. They deal with balloons and height and stories of Englishmen and Frenchmen, famous and less famous. They deal with Sarah Bernhardt and Nadar and officers and life lived "on the level" (I will let you discover exactly what that means). The third section's more personal narrative could not have been written without them. Their context is what underlines every single word that follows.
Here, even in mourning, Julian Barnes is Julian Barnes. A writer obsessed with leitmotifs, patterns, stories as they are told to us and learned in books, historical anecdotes as they serve to illuminate our own lives, animating them like shadow-theatre. A writer obsessed with metaphors. A writer obsessed with connecting and interweaving past events with our trembling, seeking present.
Julian Barnes writes about love and life and grief through the most delicate exploration of the "levels of life", from intoxicating heights to unbearable lows, with the radical intelligence and beating heart that inhabit all his books.
This is simply one of the most beautiful declarations of love that I have ever read.
June 27, 2017
鈽呪槄鈽呪槄鈽� 5 Heart-rending stars!
I've frequently found that reading a story that reliably takes you where you hoped it was going all along can be wonderfully soothing. There are times when, as a reader, you crave exactly that: the comfort that a predictable story can bring. Then there are other times when you stumble upon a book that takes you in such an unexpected direction that you find yourself, not only surprised by the unique nature of what you are reading but actually thrilled by its unpredictability and pleased for allowing yourself to step out of your comfort zone.
Levels Of Life squarely falls into that latter category. A short book whose blending of essay collection and personal memoir makes it difficult to describe or characterize. And because I'm afraid that writing a fitting review is way above my paygrade, I am just going to share a few of my favorites quotes and passages here:
鈥淟ove may not lead where we think or hope, but regardless of outcome, it should be a call to seriousness and truth. If it is not that - if it is not moral in its effect - then love is no more than an exaggerated form of pleasure.鈥�
鈥淭hen, at some point, sooner or later, for this reason, or that, one of them is taken away. And what is taken away is greater than the sum of what was there. This may not be mathematically possible; but it is emotionally possible.鈥�
鈥淭his is what those who haven鈥檛 crossed the tropic of grief often fail to understand: the fact that someone is dead may mean that they are not alive, but doesn鈥檛 mean that they do not exist.鈥�
鈥淥pera cuts to the chase鈥攁s death does. An art which seeks, more obviously than any other form, to break your heart.鈥�
鈥淟ook what she has lost, now that she has lost life. Her body, her spirit; her radiant curiosity about life. At times it feels as if life itself is the greatest loser, the true bereaved party because it is no longer subjected to that radiant curiosity of hers.鈥�
"Pain shows that you have not forgotten; pain enhances the flavor of memory; pain is a proof of love. 鈥淚f it didn鈥檛 matter, it wouldn鈥檛 matter.鈥�
鈥淵ou lose the world for a glance? Of course, you do. That is what the world is for: to lose under the right circumstances.鈥�
**
Levels of Life is a beautiful book, even more achingly so because Barnes's loss is so palpable and the memories he shares with us are so personal. Listening as he narrates the audiobook, which he performs flawlessly, only adds to that level of intimacy.
As I was writing this review, I noticed he never mentions his wife by name, instead he always refers to her as "She" or "Her", but of course there's only one "She" he can be referring to. My impression is that this was his way to preserve those precious memories and a reaffirmation of the life and the love they shared.
Finally, let me add that I believe this book could be especially valuable to people who have lost a loved one and might be struggling as they adjust to a new reality. Barnes's candid descriptions of his own grieving process could be a source of validation, empathy and solace to some.
September 25, 2023
睾賲 丕賳诏蹖夭蹖丿 丕賲丕 丕卮讴賲丕賳 乇丕 丿乇 賳賲蹖丕賵乇蹖丿貨 賳賲蹖 卮賵丿 亘乇丕蹖鬲丕賳 賲乇丿.
讴鬲丕亘 爻胤賵丨 夭賳丿诏蹖 (亘賱賴 賲賳 亘丕 毓賳賵丕賳 鬲乇噩賲賴 卮丿賴 賲卮讴賱 卮禺氐蹖 丿丕乇賲) 丕賵賳 趩蹖夭蹖 賳亘賵丿 讴賴 丕賳鬲馗丕乇卮賵 丿丕卮鬲賲 賵 賳丕丕賲蹖丿賲 讴乇丿.
亘賳馗乇 賲蹖丕丿 毓賱鬲 丕賲鬲蹖丕夭 亘丕賱丕 賵 卮賴乇鬲 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘貙 鬲毓乇蹖賮 賵 鬲賲噩蹖丿 賴丕蹖 丌賯丕蹖 卮讴賵乇蹖 鬲賵蹖 亘乇賳丕賲賴 讴鬲丕亘 亘丕夭 亘丕卮賴 丕賲丕 禺亘 胤亘賯 鬲噩乇亘賴 禺賵丿賲 ( 趩賳丿 賯爻賲鬲 亘乇賳丕賲賴 乇賵 丿蹖丿賲 賮賯胤) 丕蹖卮賵賳 讴鬲丕亘 賴丕蹖 丿蹖诏賴 丕蹖 賴賲 賲毓乇賮蹖 賵 鬲亘賱蹖睾 讴乇丿賳 讴賴 丕賵賵乇乇蹖鬲丿 丕賳 賲孬賱 鬲爻賱蹖 亘禺卮蹖 賴丕蹖 賮賱爻賮賴貙 鬲賵賱爻鬲賵蹖 賵 賲亘賱 亘賳賮卮 賵 卮噩丕毓 亘丕卮 丿禺鬲乇. 禺亘 丨丕賱丕 賲賳 賯氐丿 丕賳鬲賯丕丿 丕夭 丌賯丕蹖 卮讴賵乇蹖 乇賵 賳丿丕乇賲 賵 丕蹖賳噩賵乇 鬲毓亘蹖乇 賲蹖讴賳賲 讴賴 丕蹖卮賵賳 賲蹖禺賵丕賳 賮乇賴賳诏 賲胤丕賱毓賴 乇賵 鬲賵蹖 毓丕賲賴 賲乇丿賲 亘丕賱丕 亘亘乇賳 賵 丕睾乇丕賯 賲蹖讴賳賳 .
丕賲丕 趩乇丕 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 亘賳馗乇賲 丕賵賳賯丿乇 禺賵亘 賳亘賵丿責 毓賱鬲卮 丕蹖賳賴 讴賴 亘賳馗乇賲 賮氐賱 賴丕蹖 賲禺鬲賱賮 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 禺蹖賱蹖 亘蹖 乇亘胤 亘賴 賴賲 亘賵丿賳 賵 丌賯丕蹖 亘丕乇賳夭 亘丕 鬲賮 亘賴賲 趩爻亘賵賳丿賴 亘賵丿卮賵賳.
亘禺卮 丕賵賱 蹖賴 賲鬲賳 跇賵乇賳丕賱蹖爻鬲蹖 丿乇亘丕乇賴 鬲丕乇蹖禺趩賴 亘丕賱賵賳 爻賵丕乇蹖 賵 毓讴丕爻蹖賴. 亘禺卮 丿賵賲 蹖讴 丿丕爻鬲丕賳 毓丕卮賯丕賳賴 賳丕賮乇噩丕賲 賵 鬲禺蹖賱蹖 丿乇亘丕乇賴 蹖讴 賴賳乇倬蹖卮賴 夭賳 賵 蹖讴 賳馗丕賲蹖賴 賵 亘禺卮 爻賵賲 蹖讴 爻賵诏賳丕賲賴 亘乇丕蹖 賴賲爻乇 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丕爻鬲.
亘禺卮 丕賵賱 亘賳馗乇賲 噩丕賱亘 亘賵丿 丕賲丕 賵丕賯毓丕 賲毓賲賵賱蹖 丿乇 丨丿 倬乇賵跇賴 鬲丨賯蹖賯 賲丿乇爻賴. 亘禺卮 丿賵賲 賴賲 鬲丕 丕賵賳噩丕蹖蹖 亘丕賳賲讴 亘賵丿 讴賴 賴賳賵夭 賳賲蹖鈥屫堎嗀池� 丿丕爻鬲丕賳 鬲禺蹖賱蹖賴 貙 丕賲丕 亘禺卮 爻賵賲 讴賴 丕蹖賳賴賲賴 亘乇丕蹖卮 賲蹖鈥屬呟屫臂屫� 亘夭乇诏鬲乇蹖賳 毓賱丕賲鬲 鬲毓噩亘 賲賳賴. 鬲丕 丌禺乇 讴鬲丕亘 賲賳鬲馗乇 亘賵丿賲 丕賵賳 賱丨馗賴 噩丕丿賵蹖蹖 亘乇爻賴 賵 蹖丕 丕卮讴賲 丿乇亘蹖丕丿 蹖丕 賮讴賲 亘蹖賮鬲賴. 丕賲丕 丿乇蹖睾!
亘賴 賴乇噩丕卮 讴賴 賲蹖鈥屫必驰屫� 賲蹖诏賮鬲賲 丕賵賴 讴賴 丕蹖賳胤賵乇! 賲乇诏 賴賲爻乇 禺蹖賱蹖 亘丿賴 賵賱蹖 丌蹖丕 鬲丕丨丕賱丕 賲丕丿乇 賵 禺賵丕賴乇鬲 乇賵 亘賴 賮丕氐賱賴 爻賴 賴賮鬲賴 丕夭 丿爻鬲 丿丕丿蹖責 蹖丕 丕蹖賳讴賴 丿乇讴 賲蹖讴賳賲 睾乇亘丕賱 卮丿賳 丿賵爻鬲丕鬲 亘禺丕胤乇 丕賮爻乇丿诏蹖 爻賵诏賵丕乇蹖 蹖毓賳蹖 趩蹖 賵賱蹖 丌蹖丕 趩賵賳 亘丕蹖倬賵賱丕乇 亘賵丿蹖 氐賲蹖賲蹖 鬲乇蹖賳 丿賵爻鬲丕鬲 賵賱鬲 讴乇丿賳責 賲蹖賮賴賲賲 丕夭 卮賳蹖丿賳 鬲爻賱蹖鬲 賴丕蹖 讴賱丕爻蹖讴 鬲賵蹖 賲乇丕爻賲 鬲卮蹖蹖毓 噩賳丕夭賴 趩賯丿乇 毓賯鬲 诏乇賮鬲賴 賵賱蹖 丌蹖丕 鬲丕丨丕賱丕 亘毓丿 賲乇丕爻賲 丕賵賲丿賳 丕夭鬲 亘禺丕胤乇 賲睾夭 倬禺鬲 卮丿賳 噩賵噩賴 讴亘丕亘 賳丕賴丕乇 鬲卮讴乇 讴賳賳責
亘賱賴! 賴乇趩蹖 丌賯丕蹖 亘丕乇賳夭 丕夭 鬲噩乇亘蹖丕鬲卮 賲蹖诏賮鬲貙 賲賳 亘丿鬲乇卮 乇賵 賲蹖鈥屫堎嗀池� 亘乇丕卮 亘诏賲 賵 亘賳丕亘乇丕蹖賳 丕卮讴蹖 賳蹖賵賲丿. 丕賲丕 亘賴乇丨丕賱 賲賳 亘賴 睾賲 賵 乇賳噩 丕蹖卮賵賳 丕丨鬲乇丕賲 賲蹖匕丕乇賲 賵 賴賲趩賳蹖賳 丕夭 丕蹖賳讴賴 鬲賵賳爻鬲賴 亘丕賱丕禺乇賴 丿乇亘丕乇賴 丕卮 亘賳賵蹖爻賴 賯丿乇丿丕賳蹖 賲蹖讴賳賲貙 丕賲丕 亘賳馗乇賲 丕蹖賳 賮賯胤 蹖讴 爻賵诏賳丕賲賴 氐丕丿賯丕賳賴 賵 丕丨爻丕爻蹖賴. 賴賲蹖賳 .
丕賳鬲馗丕乇 丿丕卮鬲賲 丨丿丕賯賱 趩蹖夭蹖 丕丿亘蹖 亘丕卮賴 蹖丕 丨鬲蹖 賵丕乇丿 讴賳噩 賴丕蹖 倬賳賴丕賳 蹖丕 讴賲鬲乇 丿蹖丿賴 卮丿賴 丕夭 爻賵诏 爻乇讴 亘讴卮賴. 鬲賵蹖 乇蹖賵蹖賵賵 氐賵鬲蹖 讴鬲丕亘 丕賵賲丿賲 亘丕 亘禺卮 賲乇诏 賲丕丿乇亘夭乇诏 鬲賵蹖 乇賲丕賳 丿乇 噩爻鬲噩賵蹖 夭賲丕賳 丕夭 丿爻鬲 乇賮鬲賴 賲賯丕蹖爻賴 丕卮 讴乇丿賲貙 禺亘 丕賱亘鬲賴 丕蹖賳 鬲賵賴蹖賳 亘賴 倬乇賵爻鬲賴貙 丕賲丕 賲蹖禺賵丕爻鬲賲 亘诏賲 丕蹖賳噩賵乇 讴賴 倬乇賵爻鬲 丿乇亘丕乇賴 賲乇诏 賳賵卮鬲賴 乇賵 鬲丨爻蹖賳 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 賵 亘賳馗乇賲 丕乇夭卮 禺賵賳 亘丕賱丕 丌賵乇丿賳 丿丕乇賴貙 賵诏乇賳賴 禺亘 賳賵卮鬲賳 丿賱蹖 乇賵 讴賴 賲賳賲 亘賱丿賲 賵 亘蹖卮鬲乇 卮賲丕賴賲 亘賱丿蹖丿.
趩蹖夭 丿蹖诏賴 讴賴 乇賵蹖 賲禺賲賴貙 鬲睾蹖蹖乇 丕爻賲 讴鬲丕亘賴貙 賲賳 賵丕賯毓丕 賳賲蹖鈥屬佡囐呝� 趩乇丕 賲鬲乇噩賲 亘丕蹖丿 亘蹖丕丿 丕爻賲 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 亘乇丕爻丕爻 丨爻 賵 丨丕賱 禺賵丿卮 鬲睾蹖蹖乇 亘丿賴責 丕氐賱丕 丕蹖賳 讴丕乇 丨乇賮賴鈥屫й� 賴爻鬲卮責 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 讴鬲丕亘 賳馗乇卮 趩蹖賴責 禺亘 丕诏賴 賯乇丕乇 亘賵丿 丕爻賲卮 毓讴丕爻蹖貙 亘丕賱賵賳 爻賵丕乇蹖 貙 毓卮賯 賵 丕賳丿賵賴 亘丕卮賴 賲诏賴 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 禺賵丿卮 毓賯賱卮 賳賲蹖鈥屫必驰屫� 賴賲賵賳賵 亘匕丕乇賴責 丕蹖賳賲 禺蹖賱蹖 毓氐亘丕賳蹖賲 讴乇丿 趩賵賳 賳賲蹖鈥屬佡囐呝呚簇� 鬲賵囟蹖丨丕鬲 賲鬲乇噩賲 賴賲 鬲賵蹖 丕賵賱 讴鬲丕亘 亘賳馗乇賲 賮賯胤 鬲賵噩蹖賴 禺賵丿卮賴.
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鬲賵蹖 乇蹖賵蹖賵賵 賴丕 丿蹖丿賲 讴賴 賲賱鬲 丕夭 丕蹖賳讴賴 讴鬲丕亘 丕卮讴卮賵賳 乇賵 丿乇丌賵乇丿賴 禺賵卮卮賵賳 丕賵賲丿賴 賵 丨鬲蹖 亘毓囟蹖 倬蹖卮賳賴丕丿 讴乇丿賳 賮賯胤 亘禺卮 爻賵賲 乇賵 亘禺賵賳蹖賲貙 禺亘 亘賳馗乇鬲賵賳 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 爻丕夭蹖 賳蹖爻鬲 責听 丕蹖賳讴賴 趩賵賳 亘禺卮 爻賵賲 亘乇丕蹖 讴鬲丕亘 卮丿賳 禺蹖賱蹖 讴賵鬲丕賴賴 亘蹖丕蹖 丿賵鬲丕 亘禺卮 讴賵鬲丕賴 鬲乇 丿蹖诏賴 賴賲 賲賯丿賲賴 亘乇丕卮 亘賳賵蹖爻蹖 讴賴 亘卮賴 讴鬲丕亘卮 讴乇丿.
丕诏乇 蹖讴 讴鬲丕亘 亘賴鬲乇 丿乇亘丕乇賴 爻賵诏 賲蹖禺賵丕蹖蹖丿 亘禺賵賳蹖丿 讴賴 賵賯鬲鬲賵賳 乇賵 賴賲 鬲賱賮 賳讴賳賴貙 毓蹖亘蹖 賳丿丕乇丿 丕诏乇 丨丕賱鬲 禺賵卮 賳蹖爻鬲 乇賵 倬蹖卮賳賴丕丿 賲蹖讴賳賲.
讴鬲丕亘 爻胤賵丨 夭賳丿诏蹖 (亘賱賴 賲賳 亘丕 毓賳賵丕賳 鬲乇噩賲賴 卮丿賴 賲卮讴賱 卮禺氐蹖 丿丕乇賲) 丕賵賳 趩蹖夭蹖 賳亘賵丿 讴賴 丕賳鬲馗丕乇卮賵 丿丕卮鬲賲 賵 賳丕丕賲蹖丿賲 讴乇丿.
亘賳馗乇 賲蹖丕丿 毓賱鬲 丕賲鬲蹖丕夭 亘丕賱丕 賵 卮賴乇鬲 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘貙 鬲毓乇蹖賮 賵 鬲賲噩蹖丿 賴丕蹖 丌賯丕蹖 卮讴賵乇蹖 鬲賵蹖 亘乇賳丕賲賴 讴鬲丕亘 亘丕夭 亘丕卮賴 丕賲丕 禺亘 胤亘賯 鬲噩乇亘賴 禺賵丿賲 ( 趩賳丿 賯爻賲鬲 亘乇賳丕賲賴 乇賵 丿蹖丿賲 賮賯胤) 丕蹖卮賵賳 讴鬲丕亘 賴丕蹖 丿蹖诏賴 丕蹖 賴賲 賲毓乇賮蹖 賵 鬲亘賱蹖睾 讴乇丿賳 讴賴 丕賵賵乇乇蹖鬲丿 丕賳 賲孬賱 鬲爻賱蹖 亘禺卮蹖 賴丕蹖 賮賱爻賮賴貙 鬲賵賱爻鬲賵蹖 賵 賲亘賱 亘賳賮卮 賵 卮噩丕毓 亘丕卮 丿禺鬲乇. 禺亘 丨丕賱丕 賲賳 賯氐丿 丕賳鬲賯丕丿 丕夭 丌賯丕蹖 卮讴賵乇蹖 乇賵 賳丿丕乇賲 賵 丕蹖賳噩賵乇 鬲毓亘蹖乇 賲蹖讴賳賲 讴賴 丕蹖卮賵賳 賲蹖禺賵丕賳 賮乇賴賳诏 賲胤丕賱毓賴 乇賵 鬲賵蹖 毓丕賲賴 賲乇丿賲 亘丕賱丕 亘亘乇賳 賵 丕睾乇丕賯 賲蹖讴賳賳 .
丕賲丕 趩乇丕 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 亘賳馗乇賲 丕賵賳賯丿乇 禺賵亘 賳亘賵丿責 毓賱鬲卮 丕蹖賳賴 讴賴 亘賳馗乇賲 賮氐賱 賴丕蹖 賲禺鬲賱賮 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 禺蹖賱蹖 亘蹖 乇亘胤 亘賴 賴賲 亘賵丿賳 賵 丌賯丕蹖 亘丕乇賳夭 亘丕 鬲賮 亘賴賲 趩爻亘賵賳丿賴 亘賵丿卮賵賳.
亘禺卮 丕賵賱 蹖賴 賲鬲賳 跇賵乇賳丕賱蹖爻鬲蹖 丿乇亘丕乇賴 鬲丕乇蹖禺趩賴 亘丕賱賵賳 爻賵丕乇蹖 賵 毓讴丕爻蹖賴. 亘禺卮 丿賵賲 蹖讴 丿丕爻鬲丕賳 毓丕卮賯丕賳賴 賳丕賮乇噩丕賲 賵 鬲禺蹖賱蹖 丿乇亘丕乇賴 蹖讴 賴賳乇倬蹖卮賴 夭賳 賵 蹖讴 賳馗丕賲蹖賴 賵 亘禺卮 爻賵賲 蹖讴 爻賵诏賳丕賲賴 亘乇丕蹖 賴賲爻乇 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丕爻鬲.
亘禺卮 丕賵賱 亘賳馗乇賲 噩丕賱亘 亘賵丿 丕賲丕 賵丕賯毓丕 賲毓賲賵賱蹖 丿乇 丨丿 倬乇賵跇賴 鬲丨賯蹖賯 賲丿乇爻賴. 亘禺卮 丿賵賲 賴賲 鬲丕 丕賵賳噩丕蹖蹖 亘丕賳賲讴 亘賵丿 讴賴 賴賳賵夭 賳賲蹖鈥屫堎嗀池� 丿丕爻鬲丕賳 鬲禺蹖賱蹖賴 貙 丕賲丕 亘禺卮 爻賵賲 讴賴 丕蹖賳賴賲賴 亘乇丕蹖卮 賲蹖鈥屬呟屫臂屫� 亘夭乇诏鬲乇蹖賳 毓賱丕賲鬲 鬲毓噩亘 賲賳賴. 鬲丕 丌禺乇 讴鬲丕亘 賲賳鬲馗乇 亘賵丿賲 丕賵賳 賱丨馗賴 噩丕丿賵蹖蹖 亘乇爻賴 賵 蹖丕 丕卮讴賲 丿乇亘蹖丕丿 蹖丕 賮讴賲 亘蹖賮鬲賴. 丕賲丕 丿乇蹖睾!
亘賴 賴乇噩丕卮 讴賴 賲蹖鈥屫必驰屫� 賲蹖诏賮鬲賲 丕賵賴 讴賴 丕蹖賳胤賵乇! 賲乇诏 賴賲爻乇 禺蹖賱蹖 亘丿賴 賵賱蹖 丌蹖丕 鬲丕丨丕賱丕 賲丕丿乇 賵 禺賵丕賴乇鬲 乇賵 亘賴 賮丕氐賱賴 爻賴 賴賮鬲賴 丕夭 丿爻鬲 丿丕丿蹖責 蹖丕 丕蹖賳讴賴 丿乇讴 賲蹖讴賳賲 睾乇亘丕賱 卮丿賳 丿賵爻鬲丕鬲 亘禺丕胤乇 丕賮爻乇丿诏蹖 爻賵诏賵丕乇蹖 蹖毓賳蹖 趩蹖 賵賱蹖 丌蹖丕 趩賵賳 亘丕蹖倬賵賱丕乇 亘賵丿蹖 氐賲蹖賲蹖 鬲乇蹖賳 丿賵爻鬲丕鬲 賵賱鬲 讴乇丿賳責 賲蹖賮賴賲賲 丕夭 卮賳蹖丿賳 鬲爻賱蹖鬲 賴丕蹖 讴賱丕爻蹖讴 鬲賵蹖 賲乇丕爻賲 鬲卮蹖蹖毓 噩賳丕夭賴 趩賯丿乇 毓賯鬲 诏乇賮鬲賴 賵賱蹖 丌蹖丕 鬲丕丨丕賱丕 亘毓丿 賲乇丕爻賲 丕賵賲丿賳 丕夭鬲 亘禺丕胤乇 賲睾夭 倬禺鬲 卮丿賳 噩賵噩賴 讴亘丕亘 賳丕賴丕乇 鬲卮讴乇 讴賳賳責
亘賱賴! 賴乇趩蹖 丌賯丕蹖 亘丕乇賳夭 丕夭 鬲噩乇亘蹖丕鬲卮 賲蹖诏賮鬲貙 賲賳 亘丿鬲乇卮 乇賵 賲蹖鈥屫堎嗀池� 亘乇丕卮 亘诏賲 賵 亘賳丕亘乇丕蹖賳 丕卮讴蹖 賳蹖賵賲丿. 丕賲丕 亘賴乇丨丕賱 賲賳 亘賴 睾賲 賵 乇賳噩 丕蹖卮賵賳 丕丨鬲乇丕賲 賲蹖匕丕乇賲 賵 賴賲趩賳蹖賳 丕夭 丕蹖賳讴賴 鬲賵賳爻鬲賴 亘丕賱丕禺乇賴 丿乇亘丕乇賴 丕卮 亘賳賵蹖爻賴 賯丿乇丿丕賳蹖 賲蹖讴賳賲貙 丕賲丕 亘賳馗乇賲 丕蹖賳 賮賯胤 蹖讴 爻賵诏賳丕賲賴 氐丕丿賯丕賳賴 賵 丕丨爻丕爻蹖賴. 賴賲蹖賳 .
丕賳鬲馗丕乇 丿丕卮鬲賲 丨丿丕賯賱 趩蹖夭蹖 丕丿亘蹖 亘丕卮賴 蹖丕 丨鬲蹖 賵丕乇丿 讴賳噩 賴丕蹖 倬賳賴丕賳 蹖丕 讴賲鬲乇 丿蹖丿賴 卮丿賴 丕夭 爻賵诏 爻乇讴 亘讴卮賴. 鬲賵蹖 乇蹖賵蹖賵賵 氐賵鬲蹖 讴鬲丕亘 丕賵賲丿賲 亘丕 亘禺卮 賲乇诏 賲丕丿乇亘夭乇诏 鬲賵蹖 乇賲丕賳 丿乇 噩爻鬲噩賵蹖 夭賲丕賳 丕夭 丿爻鬲 乇賮鬲賴 賲賯丕蹖爻賴 丕卮 讴乇丿賲貙 禺亘 丕賱亘鬲賴 丕蹖賳 鬲賵賴蹖賳 亘賴 倬乇賵爻鬲賴貙 丕賲丕 賲蹖禺賵丕爻鬲賲 亘诏賲 丕蹖賳噩賵乇 讴賴 倬乇賵爻鬲 丿乇亘丕乇賴 賲乇诏 賳賵卮鬲賴 乇賵 鬲丨爻蹖賳 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 賵 亘賳馗乇賲 丕乇夭卮 禺賵賳 亘丕賱丕 丌賵乇丿賳 丿丕乇賴貙 賵诏乇賳賴 禺亘 賳賵卮鬲賳 丿賱蹖 乇賵 讴賴 賲賳賲 亘賱丿賲 賵 亘蹖卮鬲乇 卮賲丕賴賲 亘賱丿蹖丿.
趩蹖夭 丿蹖诏賴 讴賴 乇賵蹖 賲禺賲賴貙 鬲睾蹖蹖乇 丕爻賲 讴鬲丕亘賴貙 賲賳 賵丕賯毓丕 賳賲蹖鈥屬佡囐呝� 趩乇丕 賲鬲乇噩賲 亘丕蹖丿 亘蹖丕丿 丕爻賲 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 亘乇丕爻丕爻 丨爻 賵 丨丕賱 禺賵丿卮 鬲睾蹖蹖乇 亘丿賴責 丕氐賱丕 丕蹖賳 讴丕乇 丨乇賮賴鈥屫й� 賴爻鬲卮責 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 讴鬲丕亘 賳馗乇卮 趩蹖賴責 禺亘 丕诏賴 賯乇丕乇 亘賵丿 丕爻賲卮 毓讴丕爻蹖貙 亘丕賱賵賳 爻賵丕乇蹖 貙 毓卮賯 賵 丕賳丿賵賴 亘丕卮賴 賲诏賴 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 禺賵丿卮 毓賯賱卮 賳賲蹖鈥屫必驰屫� 賴賲賵賳賵 亘匕丕乇賴責 丕蹖賳賲 禺蹖賱蹖 毓氐亘丕賳蹖賲 讴乇丿 趩賵賳 賳賲蹖鈥屬佡囐呝呚簇� 鬲賵囟蹖丨丕鬲 賲鬲乇噩賲 賴賲 鬲賵蹖 丕賵賱 讴鬲丕亘 亘賳馗乇賲 賮賯胤 鬲賵噩蹖賴 禺賵丿卮賴.
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鬲賵蹖 乇蹖賵蹖賵賵 賴丕 丿蹖丿賲 讴賴 賲賱鬲 丕夭 丕蹖賳讴賴 讴鬲丕亘 丕卮讴卮賵賳 乇賵 丿乇丌賵乇丿賴 禺賵卮卮賵賳 丕賵賲丿賴 賵 丨鬲蹖 亘毓囟蹖 倬蹖卮賳賴丕丿 讴乇丿賳 賮賯胤 亘禺卮 爻賵賲 乇賵 亘禺賵賳蹖賲貙 禺亘 亘賳馗乇鬲賵賳 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 爻丕夭蹖 賳蹖爻鬲 責听 丕蹖賳讴賴 趩賵賳 亘禺卮 爻賵賲 亘乇丕蹖 讴鬲丕亘 卮丿賳 禺蹖賱蹖 讴賵鬲丕賴賴 亘蹖丕蹖 丿賵鬲丕 亘禺卮 讴賵鬲丕賴 鬲乇 丿蹖诏賴 賴賲 賲賯丿賲賴 亘乇丕卮 亘賳賵蹖爻蹖 讴賴 亘卮賴 讴鬲丕亘卮 讴乇丿.
丕诏乇 蹖讴 讴鬲丕亘 亘賴鬲乇 丿乇亘丕乇賴 爻賵诏 賲蹖禺賵丕蹖蹖丿 亘禺賵賳蹖丿 讴賴 賵賯鬲鬲賵賳 乇賵 賴賲 鬲賱賮 賳讴賳賴貙 毓蹖亘蹖 賳丿丕乇丿 丕诏乇 丨丕賱鬲 禺賵卮 賳蹖爻鬲 乇賵 倬蹖卮賳賴丕丿 賲蹖讴賳賲.
December 24, 2018
A friend contacted me during the week and asked if I had this book. He knows I like Barnes鈥� writing 鈥� and so he wanted to know if I鈥檇 read the last story in this book in particular. I hadn鈥檛. He said the other two weren鈥檛 nearly as good, but thought I might like this last one. I鈥檝e only read the one he suggested. I went to my local library and borrowed the book 鈥� realising with a kind of shock that I hadn鈥檛 been to my local library in a years, so long that they had to reactivate my library card. It had been so long that it had died, although perhaps more like Lazarus than Jesus, because with hardly any fuss at all it was alive again.
I鈥檝e had something of a charmed life with death 鈥� we have kept more or less a respectful distance from each other. My life has been much more charmed than that of my eldest daughter to whom death has crept closer in her nearly 30 years than it has in my nearly 60. Even the death of one of her grandparents was made intimate and personal to her by her being the person who found her nanna at the bottom of the stairs. The charm my life has been blessed with and the trouble of hers seem oddly out of joint. It is not that I would exchange one of the deaths she has had to live through for someone just as close to me that I could live through in her stead. The idea is monstrous. Nor would my dying in the place of one of the others have improved the situation any for her. But I鈥檇 have liked to have taken away the pain if that could be done in a way that wouldn鈥檛 also take away the love. And that鈥檚 the problem, isn鈥檛 it? And therein lies the impossibility.
This is less a story about death and much more a story about grief. While I was reading, I thought it might be a nice thing to recommend this to people. It is always hard to know if there is such a thing as a good book to recommend to people in grief. And then I thought of people I love very dearly who have lost partners, significant others, lovers, family members, parents, siblings. At first, I thought maybe I would just send them a photocopy of the story with a note. Or rather of flipping this into a pdf and attaching to an email. But I haven鈥檛 done that, as easy and hard as it would be. I鈥檓 not even all that sure why. My friend intended to do exactly this, and has with me. And part of me thinks it is a lovely thing to do 鈥� so, why wouldn鈥檛 I do the same?
My older sister is in hospital. She has had her bowel removed this week. I get to hear the doctors鈥� reports second hand and as reinterpreted by my parents 鈥� both approaching 80. My elder sister is, and has been all her life, intellectually disabled. A quarter of her brain was destroyed in the oxygen tent she was placed in as a baby in yet another hospital half a world away. She is two years older than me. Both of the women I鈥檝e considered life partners, even if neither have proven such, have been two years older than me. A psychologist I went to with my first wife as our marriage was ending and I was falling in love with my other significant life partner that has never quite proven to be, suggested that I was looking for a substitute for my effectively lost, or perhaps more or less dead, older sister. Death takes so many shapes, far too many of which are metaphorical.
I started reading this book sitting in a caf茅 at the hospital where my sister was being gutted. I was drinking overly strong and bitter coffee and flicking over the pages increasingly tentatively. Her operation was but one more indignity in a life composed of a certainty and an all too clear awareness of her difference, of her lack, of her outsideness. And this will be one more hurdle for her to stumble over. I started reading this book in public and then I thought, fuck, what if I cry? I mean, this is an essay by a man who has lost someone he loved very dearly, who he felt had complemented and completed him, who had remembered his life with and for him, who disappeared out of his life in ways that those of us who have never experienced such loss fear. Tears would hardly be an irrational response to the reading about such a book. But to sit in a hospital caf茅, crying, that has meanings, too. Meanings that others do not expect to need explained to them.
A strange symmetry presented itself to me, how I try to avoid reading very funny books in public. Of Pascal saying 鈥榳e laugh and cry at the same things鈥�.
Sometimes, although not nearly often enough, my brother and I sing together. We sing Irish songs we learnt from records purchased by our parents when we were young. I told him once, when our children were still in primary school and we were away together and singing and talking over too many beers, that when our father dies I planned to sing 鈥楾he Wind That Shakes the Barley鈥� at his funeral. My mother told me once that my father has sung that song all of my life, and so I would have, of necessity, have heard him singing it all of my life too 鈥� but I remember the first time I really heard him sing it. I remember standing, listening to the words, to the lilt of the tune that shakes like wind in barley, and, back then, as a young man, being nearly moved to tears, in a room crowded, and me surrounded by people I knew. And listening to him and knowing that I certainly would not want to be seen crying in front of them all. I鈥檝e regretted since telling my brother that this has been my plan. I鈥檝e worried that in singing the song that the hammer blows of the alterative k鈥檚 in 鈥榗lay cold corpse鈥� will prove too much for me.
A year or so ago I realised I鈥檇 never thought about what I would sing or say or do at my mother鈥檚 funeral. The idea of her death being too absurd to contemplate.
I read this, almost exclusively, with one person in mind, someone mentioned here but also hardly alluded to. Someone who holds much more experience with grief and also with death than I have (or even my daughter has) and who I hope, despite knowing how awful and selfish this is to hope, that she will be left to grieve the loss of me.
I鈥檝e had something of a charmed life with death 鈥� we have kept more or less a respectful distance from each other. My life has been much more charmed than that of my eldest daughter to whom death has crept closer in her nearly 30 years than it has in my nearly 60. Even the death of one of her grandparents was made intimate and personal to her by her being the person who found her nanna at the bottom of the stairs. The charm my life has been blessed with and the trouble of hers seem oddly out of joint. It is not that I would exchange one of the deaths she has had to live through for someone just as close to me that I could live through in her stead. The idea is monstrous. Nor would my dying in the place of one of the others have improved the situation any for her. But I鈥檇 have liked to have taken away the pain if that could be done in a way that wouldn鈥檛 also take away the love. And that鈥檚 the problem, isn鈥檛 it? And therein lies the impossibility.
This is less a story about death and much more a story about grief. While I was reading, I thought it might be a nice thing to recommend this to people. It is always hard to know if there is such a thing as a good book to recommend to people in grief. And then I thought of people I love very dearly who have lost partners, significant others, lovers, family members, parents, siblings. At first, I thought maybe I would just send them a photocopy of the story with a note. Or rather of flipping this into a pdf and attaching to an email. But I haven鈥檛 done that, as easy and hard as it would be. I鈥檓 not even all that sure why. My friend intended to do exactly this, and has with me. And part of me thinks it is a lovely thing to do 鈥� so, why wouldn鈥檛 I do the same?
My older sister is in hospital. She has had her bowel removed this week. I get to hear the doctors鈥� reports second hand and as reinterpreted by my parents 鈥� both approaching 80. My elder sister is, and has been all her life, intellectually disabled. A quarter of her brain was destroyed in the oxygen tent she was placed in as a baby in yet another hospital half a world away. She is two years older than me. Both of the women I鈥檝e considered life partners, even if neither have proven such, have been two years older than me. A psychologist I went to with my first wife as our marriage was ending and I was falling in love with my other significant life partner that has never quite proven to be, suggested that I was looking for a substitute for my effectively lost, or perhaps more or less dead, older sister. Death takes so many shapes, far too many of which are metaphorical.
I started reading this book sitting in a caf茅 at the hospital where my sister was being gutted. I was drinking overly strong and bitter coffee and flicking over the pages increasingly tentatively. Her operation was but one more indignity in a life composed of a certainty and an all too clear awareness of her difference, of her lack, of her outsideness. And this will be one more hurdle for her to stumble over. I started reading this book in public and then I thought, fuck, what if I cry? I mean, this is an essay by a man who has lost someone he loved very dearly, who he felt had complemented and completed him, who had remembered his life with and for him, who disappeared out of his life in ways that those of us who have never experienced such loss fear. Tears would hardly be an irrational response to the reading about such a book. But to sit in a hospital caf茅, crying, that has meanings, too. Meanings that others do not expect to need explained to them.
A strange symmetry presented itself to me, how I try to avoid reading very funny books in public. Of Pascal saying 鈥榳e laugh and cry at the same things鈥�.
Sometimes, although not nearly often enough, my brother and I sing together. We sing Irish songs we learnt from records purchased by our parents when we were young. I told him once, when our children were still in primary school and we were away together and singing and talking over too many beers, that when our father dies I planned to sing 鈥楾he Wind That Shakes the Barley鈥� at his funeral. My mother told me once that my father has sung that song all of my life, and so I would have, of necessity, have heard him singing it all of my life too 鈥� but I remember the first time I really heard him sing it. I remember standing, listening to the words, to the lilt of the tune that shakes like wind in barley, and, back then, as a young man, being nearly moved to tears, in a room crowded, and me surrounded by people I knew. And listening to him and knowing that I certainly would not want to be seen crying in front of them all. I鈥檝e regretted since telling my brother that this has been my plan. I鈥檝e worried that in singing the song that the hammer blows of the alterative k鈥檚 in 鈥榗lay cold corpse鈥� will prove too much for me.
A year or so ago I realised I鈥檇 never thought about what I would sing or say or do at my mother鈥檚 funeral. The idea of her death being too absurd to contemplate.
I read this, almost exclusively, with one person in mind, someone mentioned here but also hardly alluded to. Someone who holds much more experience with grief and also with death than I have (or even my daughter has) and who I hope, despite knowing how awful and selfish this is to hope, that she will be left to grieve the loss of me.
September 13, 2023
鬲賲賵賲 卮丿 賵 亘丕蹖丿 亘诏賲 讴賴 賮賵賯 丕賱毓丕丿賴 亘賵丿. 賵丕賯毓蹖鬲 丕蹖賳賴 讴賴 賲賳 鬲賲賵賲 讴鬲丕亘賴丕蹖 賳卮乇 诏賲丕賳 乇賵 讴賴 賲蹖卮丿 乇賵蹖 胤丕賯趩賴 禺乇蹖丿 乇賵 禺乇蹖丿賲. 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘賵 卮乇賵毓 讴乇丿賲 趩賵賳 賲丿鬲賴丕 亘賵丿 丕夭 賳卮乇 诏賲丕賳 讴鬲丕亘蹖 賳禺賵賳丿賴 亘賵丿賲. 鬲丕 丕賵丕爻胤 讴鬲丕亘 鬲乇噩賲賴 亘蹖 賳賴丕蹖鬲 亘丿 亘賵丿. 亘胤賵乇蹖 讴賴 亘賴 禺賵丿鬲 賲蹖诏蹖 丕蹖賳 亘賴 趩賴 夭亘賵賳蹖 丿丕乇賴 氐丨亘鬲 賲蹖讴賳賴. 丕诏賴 賮丕乇爻蹖賴 倬爻 趩乇丕 賲賳 賴蹖趩蹖 賳賲蹖賮賴賲賲. 賵丕爻賴 賴賲蹖賳 賮賴賲 噩賲賱賴 賴丕 賵 讴賱賲賴 賴丕 爻禺鬲賴. 賵賱蹖 賵賯鬲蹖 亘禺卮 毓讴丕爻蹖 賵 亘丕賱賳 爻賵丕乇蹖 鬲賲賵賲 賲蹖卮賴 賵 賲蹖乇爻蹖賲 亘賴 亘禺卮 毓卮賯 賵 丕賳丿賵賴貙 丕賳诏丕乇 讴賱丕 蹖賴 讴鬲丕亘 噩丿蹖丿 乇賵 丿爻鬲 诏乇賮鬲蹖. 賴賲賴 噩賲賱丕鬲 卮丕賴讴丕乇丕賳賴 亘蹖丕賳 賲蹖卮賴 賵 賴乇噩賲賱賴 賲賵 亘乇鬲賳鬲 爻蹖禺 賲蹖讴賳賴 賵 賳賲蹖鬲賵賳蹖 讴鬲丕亘賵 夭賲蹖賳 亘匕丕乇蹖. 賲賳 賳氐賮 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 賮讴乇 讴賳賲 蹖賴 賴賮鬲賴 胤賵賱 丿丕丿賲 賵 賳氐賮 丿蹖诏賴 卮賵 鬲賵蹖 蹖賴 卮亘 亘乇賮蹖 讴賴 丕賱丕賳 亘丕卮賴 禺賵賳丿賲. 丕蹖賳 卮賴乇蹖 讴賴 賲賳 夭賳丿诏蹖 賲蹖讴賳賲 丕賱丕賳 賳夭丿蹖讴 丿賴 爻丕賳鬲 亘乇賮 丕賵賲丿賴 賵 賯乇丕乇賴 鬲丕 賮乇丿丕 賴賲蹖賳 賲賵賯毓 亘丕 賴賲蹖賳 爻乇毓鬲 亘乇賮 亘蹖丕丿 賵丕爻賴 賴賲蹖賳 賴蹖趩蹖 亘蹖卮鬲乇 丕夭 禺賵賳丿賳 夭蹖乇 倬鬲賵 蹖丕 讴賳丕乇 亘禺丕乇蹖 賳賲蹖趩爻亘賴. 丿乇 丕賳鬲賴丕 亘诏賲 賴賲賵賳胤賵乇 讴賴 讴鬲丕亘 賴賲 賲蹖诏賴 卮丕蹖丿 亘卮賴 诏賮鬲 丌丿賲賴丕 亘賴 丿賵 丿爻鬲賴 鬲賯爻蹖賲 賲蹖卮賳 丌丿賲賴丕蹖蹖 讴賴 丕賳丿賵賴 乇賵 鬲噩乇亘賴 讴乇丿賳 賵 讴爻丕蹖蹖 讴賴 賯乇丕乇賴 丿乇 丌蹖賳丿賴 鬲噩乇亘賴 讴賳賳. 賵 丕诏賴 噩夭 丿爻鬲賴 丕賵賱蹖丿 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 亘丕 賴賲賴 賵噩賵丿 丿乇讴 賲蹖讴賳蹖丿. 賲禺氐賵氐丕 丕诏乇 丿賵乇賴 爻賵诏賵丕乇蹖 诏匕乇賵賳丿賴 亘丕卮蹖丿. 賵 丕夭 睾賲 爻賳诏蹖賳蹖 毓亘賵乇 讴乇丿賴 亘丕卮蹖丿. 丕賲丕 丕诏賴 噩夭 丿爻鬲賴 丿賵賲蹖丿 倬蹖卮賳賴丕丿 賲蹖讴賳賲 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 亘乇丕蹖 乇賵夭賴丕蹖 爻禺鬲 賳诏賴 丿丕乇蹖丿 讴賴 亘爻蹖丕乇 亘丿乇丿 亘禺賵乇 禺賵丕賴丿 亘賵丿. 丿乇 丌禺乇 丕賲蹖丿賵丕乇賲 賳卮乇 诏賲丕賳 讴鬲丕亘 丕賵賱 丕蹖賳 賲噩賲賵毓賴 蹖毓賳蹖 禺丕胤乇丕鬲 蹖讴 賲鬲乇噩賲 丕夭 丌賯丕蹖 丕丨賲丿 丕禺賵鬲 乇賵 賴賲 亘匕丕乇賴 乇賵蹖 胤丕賯趩賴 讴賴 賲丕 睾乇亘鬲 賳卮蹖賳賴丕 丕蹖賳噩丕 丕夭 亘蹖 丿爻鬲乇爻蹖 丕蹖 賳賲蹖乇蹖賲.
June 20, 2020
"Love may not lead where we think or hope, but regardless of the outcome, it should be a call to seriousness and truth."
This is such a difficult book to review coherently for so many reasons. Perhaps the disparity between the topics of the three essays threw me somewhat.
The only book I'd previously read of Julian Barnes' was "Metroland". I still have the tattered paperback on a bookshelf somewhere. I carried it around in my handbag for months, long after I'd finished reading it, I loved it that much. Even thinking of it, takes me back to the time and place when I read it. That's how good his writing was. But then for some reason I can't explain, I never continued on my book journey with him. Until now. So when Dawn suggested "Levels Of Life" as our next buddy read with Ron, I was really happy to re-acquaint myself with Mr Barnes.
I have to admit to being perplexed with the first third of the book. It's an essay which talks about the history of hot air ballooning. Something to do with the freedom ballooning represents? Beats me. Small wicker basket, big balloon, bigger sky... I'm ok to wave from here thanks. Sarah Bernhard, George Sand, Jules Verne & Victor Hugo were all early ballooning enthusiasts. Such adventurous folk!
"Icarus messed with the Sun God: that was a bad idea too."
Ballooning segues to photography in its' early stages. Man's quest for progress? Seeing the world through new eyes? Finally being able to look at ourselves?
But then it slowly dawned on me that this book was about love. All the way through, from beginning to end. Obscure the references may have been in the first portion of the book, with the ballooning and the flirting, however the threads grew between the three essays. Yes, love it is.
And connections. That cosmic "click" that happens between two people every so often, where the connection is audible and undeniable. Two people that are just destined to meet and to be together. This is what Julian Barnes had with his wife Pat Kavanagh. That rare "click". This is his dedication to her. It makes me cry to think of it. It is beautiful. It is achingly sad.
"You can no longer hear yourself living."
The final essay "Loss of Depth" will leave you shattered. He writes of his grief at the loss of his wife with absolute clarity and honesty. It's as if you are looking into his heart and soul, which has lost its' anchor. It is so incredibly RAW, I cannot begin to explain how much. How it felt to read something so absolutely and utterly personal. Unashamedly so. It is an emotional rollercoaster. It shook me to my core.
I cannot pretend that this was easy to read, but I am so glad that I did. Sadly, grief is a part of life. As Julian Barnes says, it's something we turn away from, as if we fail to acknowledge its' existence, it won't happen to us.
What stood out to me and made me ponder at us supposedly intelligent humans was our not having the ability to reach out to someone who is obviously hurting. His friends who didn't want to offend or hurt him by mentioning his wife's name at a dinner party, when all he wanted to do was to shout her name from the rooftops, and acknowledge how much she meant, and still means to him.
"Grief is the negative image of love; and if there can be an accumulation of love over the years, then why not grief?"
3.5鈽� aching stars for me.
And yes, despite the vast difference between "Metroland and "Levels Of Life", I plan on not leaving such a time gap before I read another one of his books.
*** Shout out to Dawn & Ron who I buddy read this with - make sure you read their reviews too! Thanks to Dawn for picking such a thoughtful book.
/review/show...
/review/show... ***
September 26, 2016
Every love story is a potential grief story. If not at first, then later. If not for one, then for the other. Sometimes for both.
- Julian Barnes, Levels of Life
'Levels of Life' is hard to categorize. It is cut into three sections, three discrete chunks. Part 1: The Sin of Height is about balloons and photography. It reads like narrative nonfiction, like John McPhee at his most poetic. It focuses on the life of F茅lix Tournachon aka Nadar. Part 2: On the Level is about love. It is written like historical fiction. Barnes delves into the affair between Colonel Fred Burnaby of the Royal Horse Guards and Sarah Bernhardt, an erotic, 'slavic' Parisian actress, often referred to as "the most famous actress the world has ever known". Bernhardt is a woman who enchanted Kings, Freud, and even Mark Twain. Part 3: The Loss of Depth is a memoir of grief. It is Julian Barnes giving words to his loss. It is one of the most poetic odes to a dead lover (Barnes' wife Pam Kavanagh) I have ever read. It is a meditation on grief, love, life, and utilizes images and ideas from the previous two sections. While Barnes utilizes different techniques while writing this short book, it becomes obvious after finishing the book that Sections 1 & 2 are meant to provide a grid, a map, coordinates to allow Barnes to map his loss, his love and his grief. His images and his metaphors are amazing.
Before I even started my review, I ordered a copy for a good friend who lost a spouse three years ago. Barnes, through his own loss, captures both the height that love gives us and the crash it inevitably always brings. It was sad, poignant and beautiful.
- Julian Barnes, Levels of Life
'Levels of Life' is hard to categorize. It is cut into three sections, three discrete chunks. Part 1: The Sin of Height is about balloons and photography. It reads like narrative nonfiction, like John McPhee at his most poetic. It focuses on the life of F茅lix Tournachon aka Nadar. Part 2: On the Level is about love. It is written like historical fiction. Barnes delves into the affair between Colonel Fred Burnaby of the Royal Horse Guards and Sarah Bernhardt, an erotic, 'slavic' Parisian actress, often referred to as "the most famous actress the world has ever known". Bernhardt is a woman who enchanted Kings, Freud, and even Mark Twain. Part 3: The Loss of Depth is a memoir of grief. It is Julian Barnes giving words to his loss. It is one of the most poetic odes to a dead lover (Barnes' wife Pam Kavanagh) I have ever read. It is a meditation on grief, love, life, and utilizes images and ideas from the previous two sections. While Barnes utilizes different techniques while writing this short book, it becomes obvious after finishing the book that Sections 1 & 2 are meant to provide a grid, a map, coordinates to allow Barnes to map his loss, his love and his grief. His images and his metaphors are amazing.
Before I even started my review, I ordered a copy for a good friend who lost a spouse three years ago. Barnes, through his own loss, captures both the height that love gives us and the crash it inevitably always brings. It was sad, poignant and beautiful.
June 9, 2020
丿乇 趩賳丿 鬲匕讴丕乇 丕亘鬲丿丕蹖蹖 讴鬲丕亘 丕蹖賳诏賵賳賴 丌賲丿賴 丕爻鬲 :芦丌賯丕蹖 亘丕乇賳夭 卮蹖賵賴鈥屰� 讴丕乇 馗乇蹖賮蹖 丿乇 丿丕爻鬲丕賳 賳賵蹖爻蹖 丿丕乇丿. 乇賵丕蹖鬲 讴乇丿賳卮 乇賯氐蹖 賳丕賲乇蹖蹖 丕爻鬲 丿乇 賲蹖丕賳 鬲丕乇蹖禺 賵 丨丕賮馗賴 賵 禺丕胤乇賴 賵 丿丕爻鬲丕賳禄.
亘丕 禺賵丕賳丿賳 丕蹖賳 丿賵賲蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 丕夭 亘丕乇賳夭 亘賴 卮丿鬲 亘賴 丕蹖賳 噩賲賱賴 丕蹖賲丕賳 倬蹖丿丕 讴乇丿賴鈥屫з�. 亘丕乇賳夭 丕賳賯丿乇 亘丕 賲賴丕乇鬲 乇賵丕蹖鬲卮 乇丕 亘丕 鬲噩乇亘賴鈥屬囏� 賵 夭賳丿诏蹖 禺賵丿卮 賵 丌賳鈥屬囏� 乇丕 亘丕 卮禺氐蹖鬲鈥屬囏� 賵 乇賵丕蹖鬲鈥屬囏й屰� 丕夭 丿賱 鬲丕乇蹖禺 丿乇 賴賲 賲蹖鈥屫①呟屫藏� 讴賴 賲乇夭 賲蹖丕賳卮丕賳 賲禺丿賵卮 賲蹖鈥屫促堌�. 禺賵丕賳賳丿賴 丿乇 賳賴丕蹖鬲 蹖讴 賲毓噩賵賳 丿賱趩爻亘 乇丕 丕夭 丿爻鬲丕賳 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丿乇蹖丕賮鬲 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀�.
丕賵賱蹖賳 亘丕乇 讴賴 讴鬲丕亘 乇丕 丿乇 丿爻鬲 賲蹖鈥屭屫臂屫� 賵 毓賳賵丕賳卮 乇丕 賲蹖鈥屫ㄛ屬嗃屫� 亘丕 禺賵丿鬲丕賳 賲蹖鈥屭堐屰屫� 丨鬲賲丕 賯乇丕乇 丕爻鬲 丕乇鬲亘丕胤蹖 亘蹖賳 丕蹖賳 爻賴 蹖毓賳蹖 毓讴丕爻蹖 賵 亘丕賱賵賳鈥屫迟堌ж臂� 賵 毓卮賯 賵 丕賳丿賵賴 賵噩賵丿 丿丕卮鬲賴 亘丕卮丿 蹖丕 丨丿丕賯賱 噩賵賱蹖賳 亘丕乇賳夭 丕乇鬲亘丕胤蹖 亘蹖賳 丌賳鈥屬囏� 蹖丕賮鬲賴 亘丕卮丿 賵 亘禺賵丕賴丿 亘乇丕蹖 賲丕 亘诏賵蹖丿卮. 禺亘 丕賯乇丕乇 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 讴賴 丕蹖賳 爻賴 賴乇讴丿丕賲 亘賴 賳賵毓 禺賵丿卮丕賳貙 賲賵囟賵毓鈥屬囏й� 亘爻蹖丕乇 噩匕丕亘蹖 賴爻鬲賳丿. 亘丕 禺賵丕賳丿賳 賴乇讴丿丕賲 丕夭 亘禺卮鈥屬囏й� 讴鬲丕亘 讴蹖賮 讴乇丿賲. 丕賲丕 賱睾夭卮蹖 丕蹖賳 賵爻胤 亘賴 趩卮賲賲 丌賲丿貨 丿乇 賳馗乇 賲賳 賴丿賮 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丕夭 賳賵卮鬲賳 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 鬲賵氐蹖賮 毓丕胤賮賴鈥屰� 丕賳爻丕賳蹖 丕賳丿賵賴 丿乇 丕乇鬲亘丕胤 賳夭丿蹖讴 亘丕 毓卮賯 亘賵丿 貙 賵 禺亘 丌賳賯丿乇 丕賳丿賵賴 乇丕 禺賵亘 丕夭 賴賲 賵丕卮讴丕賮鬲賴 亘賵丿 讴賴 丕夭 亘毓丿 丕夭 鬲賲丕賲 卮丿賳 讴鬲丕亘 鬲賯乇蹖亘丕 蹖讴 乇賵夭 丕爻鬲 讴賴 賮讴乇 丕賳丿賵賴鈥屬囏й� 丕夭 爻乇诏匕乇丕賳丿賴 賵 丕夭 爻乇賳诏匕乇丕賳丿賴鈥屰� 夭賳丿诏蹖鈥屫з� 乇賴丕蹖賲 賳賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀�! 丌賳 亘禺卮鈥屸€屬囏й屰� 賴賲 讴賴 丿丕爻鬲丕賳鈥屬囏й� 倬乇 賮乇丕夭 賵 賳卮蹖亘 亘丕賱賵賳鈥屫迟堌ж必з� 乇丕 賳賯賱 讴乇丿賴 亘賵丿 丿乇 賳賵毓 禺賵丿卮 禺賵卮 賯賱賲 賵 诏蹖乇丕 亘賵丿. 賵賱蹖 丕乇鬲亘丕胤 丕賳丿賵賴 賵 亘丕賱賵賳 爻賵丕乇蹖 賵 毓讴丕爻蹖 丕賳丿讴蹖 爻爻鬲 亘賵丿. 丿乇 匕賴賳賲 丕丨鬲賲丕賱 賲蹖鈥屫囐� 讴賴 賴賲賴鈥屰� 丕蹖賳鈥屬囏� 賲賵囟賵毓丕鬲 賲賵乇丿 毓賱丕賯賴 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 亘賵丿賳丿 賵 禺亘 賳鬲賵丕賳爻鬲賴 丕夭卮丕賳 丿賱 亘讴賳丿貙 丕賵 丨爻 讴乇丿賴 亘乇丕蹖 氐丨亘鬲 丕夭 夭賳丿诏蹖 賵 丨爻 賵 丨丕賱 丕賳爻丕賳蹖鈥屫ж� 亘丕蹖丿 丕夭 丕蹖賳 賲賯賵賱丕鬲 丕爻鬲賮丕丿賴 讴賳丿. 丕賲丕 賱丨馗丕鬲 诏蹖乇丕蹖 讴鬲丕亘 讴賲 賳蹖爻鬲貙 賯賱賲 賳賵卮鬲賴 丿賱賳卮蹖賳 丕爻鬲 賵 鬲乇噩賲賴鈥屫ж� 賱匕鬲 禺賵丕賳丿賳 賳孬乇 丕賳诏賱蹖爻蹖 亘丕乇賳夭 乇丕 鬲賲丕賲 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀�.
亘賱賴!鈥屫必呝� 讴鬲丕亘 亘賴 賳馗乇賲 賵丕賯毓丕 禺賵亘 丕爻鬲貙 賲鬲乇噩賲 丿賯蹖賯 賵 丨爻丕爻 毓賲賱 讴乇丿賴貙 倬丕賳賵卮鬲鈥屬囏й� 賲賮氐賱蹖 丿乇 丕賳鬲賴丕蹖 讴鬲丕亘 丌賵乇丿賴 讴賴 鬲讴 鬲讴 丌賳鈥屬囏� 賳卮丕賳 丿賴賳丿賴鈥屰� 丿賯鬲 毓賲賱 賵 馗乇丕賮鬲 丕賵 丿乇 賲賵丕噩賴賴 亘丕 賲鬲賳 丕爻鬲. 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 鬲乇讴蹖亘蹖 丕夭 鬲乇噩賲賴鈥屰� 禺賵亘 賵 賲賵囟賵毓丕鬲 诏蹖乇丕 賵 賯賱賲 禺賵亘 丕爻鬲 讴賴 倬爻 丕夭 丕鬲賲丕賲 禺賵丕賳丿賳卮 禺賵丕賳賳丿賴 乇丕 倬卮蹖賲丕賳 乇賴丕 賳賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀�.
亘丕 禺賵丕賳丿賳 丕蹖賳 丿賵賲蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 丕夭 亘丕乇賳夭 亘賴 卮丿鬲 亘賴 丕蹖賳 噩賲賱賴 丕蹖賲丕賳 倬蹖丿丕 讴乇丿賴鈥屫з�. 亘丕乇賳夭 丕賳賯丿乇 亘丕 賲賴丕乇鬲 乇賵丕蹖鬲卮 乇丕 亘丕 鬲噩乇亘賴鈥屬囏� 賵 夭賳丿诏蹖 禺賵丿卮 賵 丌賳鈥屬囏� 乇丕 亘丕 卮禺氐蹖鬲鈥屬囏� 賵 乇賵丕蹖鬲鈥屬囏й屰� 丕夭 丿賱 鬲丕乇蹖禺 丿乇 賴賲 賲蹖鈥屫①呟屫藏� 讴賴 賲乇夭 賲蹖丕賳卮丕賳 賲禺丿賵卮 賲蹖鈥屫促堌�. 禺賵丕賳賳丿賴 丿乇 賳賴丕蹖鬲 蹖讴 賲毓噩賵賳 丿賱趩爻亘 乇丕 丕夭 丿爻鬲丕賳 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丿乇蹖丕賮鬲 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀�.
丕賵賱蹖賳 亘丕乇 讴賴 讴鬲丕亘 乇丕 丿乇 丿爻鬲 賲蹖鈥屭屫臂屫� 賵 毓賳賵丕賳卮 乇丕 賲蹖鈥屫ㄛ屬嗃屫� 亘丕 禺賵丿鬲丕賳 賲蹖鈥屭堐屰屫� 丨鬲賲丕 賯乇丕乇 丕爻鬲 丕乇鬲亘丕胤蹖 亘蹖賳 丕蹖賳 爻賴 蹖毓賳蹖 毓讴丕爻蹖 賵 亘丕賱賵賳鈥屫迟堌ж臂� 賵 毓卮賯 賵 丕賳丿賵賴 賵噩賵丿 丿丕卮鬲賴 亘丕卮丿 蹖丕 丨丿丕賯賱 噩賵賱蹖賳 亘丕乇賳夭 丕乇鬲亘丕胤蹖 亘蹖賳 丌賳鈥屬囏� 蹖丕賮鬲賴 亘丕卮丿 賵 亘禺賵丕賴丿 亘乇丕蹖 賲丕 亘诏賵蹖丿卮. 禺亘 丕賯乇丕乇 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 讴賴 丕蹖賳 爻賴 賴乇讴丿丕賲 亘賴 賳賵毓 禺賵丿卮丕賳貙 賲賵囟賵毓鈥屬囏й� 亘爻蹖丕乇 噩匕丕亘蹖 賴爻鬲賳丿. 亘丕 禺賵丕賳丿賳 賴乇讴丿丕賲 丕夭 亘禺卮鈥屬囏й� 讴鬲丕亘 讴蹖賮 讴乇丿賲. 丕賲丕 賱睾夭卮蹖 丕蹖賳 賵爻胤 亘賴 趩卮賲賲 丌賲丿貨 丿乇 賳馗乇 賲賳 賴丿賮 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丕夭 賳賵卮鬲賳 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 鬲賵氐蹖賮 毓丕胤賮賴鈥屰� 丕賳爻丕賳蹖 丕賳丿賵賴 丿乇 丕乇鬲亘丕胤 賳夭丿蹖讴 亘丕 毓卮賯 亘賵丿 貙 賵 禺亘 丌賳賯丿乇 丕賳丿賵賴 乇丕 禺賵亘 丕夭 賴賲 賵丕卮讴丕賮鬲賴 亘賵丿 讴賴 丕夭 亘毓丿 丕夭 鬲賲丕賲 卮丿賳 讴鬲丕亘 鬲賯乇蹖亘丕 蹖讴 乇賵夭 丕爻鬲 讴賴 賮讴乇 丕賳丿賵賴鈥屬囏й� 丕夭 爻乇诏匕乇丕賳丿賴 賵 丕夭 爻乇賳诏匕乇丕賳丿賴鈥屰� 夭賳丿诏蹖鈥屫з� 乇賴丕蹖賲 賳賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀�! 丌賳 亘禺卮鈥屸€屬囏й屰� 賴賲 讴賴 丿丕爻鬲丕賳鈥屬囏й� 倬乇 賮乇丕夭 賵 賳卮蹖亘 亘丕賱賵賳鈥屫迟堌ж必з� 乇丕 賳賯賱 讴乇丿賴 亘賵丿 丿乇 賳賵毓 禺賵丿卮 禺賵卮 賯賱賲 賵 诏蹖乇丕 亘賵丿. 賵賱蹖 丕乇鬲亘丕胤 丕賳丿賵賴 賵 亘丕賱賵賳 爻賵丕乇蹖 賵 毓讴丕爻蹖 丕賳丿讴蹖 爻爻鬲 亘賵丿. 丿乇 匕賴賳賲 丕丨鬲賲丕賱 賲蹖鈥屫囐� 讴賴 賴賲賴鈥屰� 丕蹖賳鈥屬囏� 賲賵囟賵毓丕鬲 賲賵乇丿 毓賱丕賯賴 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 亘賵丿賳丿 賵 禺亘 賳鬲賵丕賳爻鬲賴 丕夭卮丕賳 丿賱 亘讴賳丿貙 丕賵 丨爻 讴乇丿賴 亘乇丕蹖 氐丨亘鬲 丕夭 夭賳丿诏蹖 賵 丨爻 賵 丨丕賱 丕賳爻丕賳蹖鈥屫ж� 亘丕蹖丿 丕夭 丕蹖賳 賲賯賵賱丕鬲 丕爻鬲賮丕丿賴 讴賳丿. 丕賲丕 賱丨馗丕鬲 诏蹖乇丕蹖 讴鬲丕亘 讴賲 賳蹖爻鬲貙 賯賱賲 賳賵卮鬲賴 丿賱賳卮蹖賳 丕爻鬲 賵 鬲乇噩賲賴鈥屫ж� 賱匕鬲 禺賵丕賳丿賳 賳孬乇 丕賳诏賱蹖爻蹖 亘丕乇賳夭 乇丕 鬲賲丕賲 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀�.
亘賱賴!鈥屫必呝� 讴鬲丕亘 亘賴 賳馗乇賲 賵丕賯毓丕 禺賵亘 丕爻鬲貙 賲鬲乇噩賲 丿賯蹖賯 賵 丨爻丕爻 毓賲賱 讴乇丿賴貙 倬丕賳賵卮鬲鈥屬囏й� 賲賮氐賱蹖 丿乇 丕賳鬲賴丕蹖 讴鬲丕亘 丌賵乇丿賴 讴賴 鬲讴 鬲讴 丌賳鈥屬囏� 賳卮丕賳 丿賴賳丿賴鈥屰� 丿賯鬲 毓賲賱 賵 馗乇丕賮鬲 丕賵 丿乇 賲賵丕噩賴賴 亘丕 賲鬲賳 丕爻鬲. 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 鬲乇讴蹖亘蹖 丕夭 鬲乇噩賲賴鈥屰� 禺賵亘 賵 賲賵囟賵毓丕鬲 诏蹖乇丕 賵 賯賱賲 禺賵亘 丕爻鬲 讴賴 倬爻 丕夭 丕鬲賲丕賲 禺賵丕賳丿賳卮 禺賵丕賳賳丿賴 乇丕 倬卮蹖賲丕賳 乇賴丕 賳賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀�.
May 4, 2017
People very differently deal with own feelings after the death of their beloved ones. Denying, anger, withdrawing into oneself, despair. In fact, how many mourners so many ways to pass through bereavement and grief. Julian Barnes鈥� Levels of life is a strange novel. Though from the cover the subject is already known you鈥檙e nevertheless confused. Novel, written after the death of his wife, consists from three , seemingly not connected, parts. Barnes takes you for a strange trip. From the firm ground to the clouds and then again to the ground. And a soft landing is not always provided.
In two first essays ( respectively The Sin of Height and On the level ) Barnes muses upon beginning of ballooning and photography, summons pioneers and enthusiast for both disciplines, adduces anecdotes and titbits. It鈥檚 all very interesting but you still do not know what is on his mind. He tells about perspective and distance, depth and height, euphoria and excitement, maiden flights and failures. He mentions people who desired height and freedom. And borders to cross. And love to last forever. And then, gradually you begin to fathom what he is trying to convey. You discern the pattern, you see love like something magical, like flying, like feeling of freedom and lightness even though sometimes that flight ends up with disaster.
In the third essay The Loss of Depth Barnes doesn't need any smokescreen, any grandiloquent symbols, any refined metaphors and crowd of more or less known persons to hide behind them. He stands alone, clothed only in his love. And with muted tone, honestly and precisely with visceral prose tries to come to terms with wife鈥檚 death and own sense of loss.
Carefully chooses words, disdains all these substitute words for death, all these passing and loss . Just calls spade a spade. Establishes new time frames, something between yesterday and today. Yesterday where they were together and today where his wife is absent though still present in every thought and dream. Gains a new perspective, counts passing without wife years as some strange reverse weddings. It is the most personal Barnes鈥� novel, understated, poignant and very intimate portrait of life, love and loss.
Every love story is a potential grief story .
May 25, 2025
An erudite mix between reflections on technological progress and grief that works surprisingly well
I am made for sensation, for pleasure, for the moment. I am constantly in search for new sensations, for new emotions, that is how I shall be until my heart is worn away.
takes us to 19th century Paris and London, with the onslaught of modernity symbolised by the trifecta of photography, electrification and flight. We have fun descriptions of Sarah Berhnardt, one of the greatest actresses of her time, going on one of the first balloon flights (dare I say, a Katy Perry avant la lettre), drinking champagne and eating foi gras during her flight. She is a fascinating character in general, Sarah, as a champion of orientalism, holding an alligator as a pet and killing it with a liquid diet of milk and champagne and having a boa constrictor who swallowed pillows. There are however also dangers, explosion and fire hazards, with larger balloons being more prone to the winds.
Jules Verne and Victor Hugo being involved in the Aeronautical society of France, with electrification, photography and flight being the three main harbingers of modernity. There is even a naive belief in democratisation by flight according to Victor Hugo, similar to how we used to think Facebook would unite the world. Postal service using balloons to London were used in the Prussian siege of Paris
Heavier than air transport already being seen as the future, although the real first flight being in the next century, with, if we reflect on it, only one hundred years between amateurish balloon rises and the moon landing
in its second part takes a very different turn and is about the death of the wife of the author in 2008 and his experience of grief and widower life. It is an erudite mix that works very well and is on par to writing by on scientific and societal topics and 鈥檚 writing on grief in .
Adding two things together in this short novel works well, as opposed to the ill-fated plan of combining a hot air and hydrogen balloon on top of each other, and Barnes his synthesis of progress, change, grief and two love stories is touching.
Quotes:
I am so thin I can slip between drops of rain
I am made for sensation, for pleasure, for the moment. I am constantly in search for new sensations, for new emotions, that is how I shall be until my heart is worn away.
Had he been naive or overambitious? Both probably.
Every love story is a potential grief story
If it didn鈥檛 matter, it wouldn鈥檛 matter.
I wish you had met her and so had met more of me.
You marry to continue the conversation, why let death end it?
Some kindly want to solve you
Sorrow is a kind of rust of the soul
What is success in mourning?
I am made for sensation, for pleasure, for the moment. I am constantly in search for new sensations, for new emotions, that is how I shall be until my heart is worn away.
takes us to 19th century Paris and London, with the onslaught of modernity symbolised by the trifecta of photography, electrification and flight. We have fun descriptions of Sarah Berhnardt, one of the greatest actresses of her time, going on one of the first balloon flights (dare I say, a Katy Perry avant la lettre), drinking champagne and eating foi gras during her flight. She is a fascinating character in general, Sarah, as a champion of orientalism, holding an alligator as a pet and killing it with a liquid diet of milk and champagne and having a boa constrictor who swallowed pillows. There are however also dangers, explosion and fire hazards, with larger balloons being more prone to the winds.
Jules Verne and Victor Hugo being involved in the Aeronautical society of France, with electrification, photography and flight being the three main harbingers of modernity. There is even a naive belief in democratisation by flight according to Victor Hugo, similar to how we used to think Facebook would unite the world. Postal service using balloons to London were used in the Prussian siege of Paris
Heavier than air transport already being seen as the future, although the real first flight being in the next century, with, if we reflect on it, only one hundred years between amateurish balloon rises and the moon landing
in its second part takes a very different turn and is about the death of the wife of the author in 2008 and his experience of grief and widower life. It is an erudite mix that works very well and is on par to writing by on scientific and societal topics and 鈥檚 writing on grief in .
Adding two things together in this short novel works well, as opposed to the ill-fated plan of combining a hot air and hydrogen balloon on top of each other, and Barnes his synthesis of progress, change, grief and two love stories is touching.
Quotes:
I am so thin I can slip between drops of rain
I am made for sensation, for pleasure, for the moment. I am constantly in search for new sensations, for new emotions, that is how I shall be until my heart is worn away.
Had he been naive or overambitious? Both probably.
Every love story is a potential grief story
If it didn鈥檛 matter, it wouldn鈥檛 matter.
I wish you had met her and so had met more of me.
You marry to continue the conversation, why let death end it?
Some kindly want to solve you
Sorrow is a kind of rust of the soul
What is success in mourning?
February 23, 2023
賵 賴賲賴鈥屭嗃屫� 賲賴丕噩乇 丕爻鬲
賳賲蹖鈥屫促堌� 禺乇丿賴 诏乇賮鬲. 賲丕 賲丨讴賵賲 亘賴 丕夭 丿爻鬲 丿丕丿賳鈥屫й屬�. 賴乇趩賳丿 亘蹖卮鬲乇賲丕賳 丿賵爻鬲 丿丕乇蹖賲 倬蹖卮 丕夭 毓夭蹖夭丕賳賲丕賳 亘乇賵蹖賲貙 賵賱蹖 賲毓賲賵賱丕 丕蹖賳 胤賵乇 賳賲蹖鈥屫促堌�. 乇賵夭蹖 賲蹖鈥屫必池� 讴賴 丿蹖诏乇 氐丿丕蹖蹖 讴賴 賴乇 乇賵夭 賯乇亘丕賳 氐丿賯賴鈥屫� 賲蹖鈥屫辟佖� 丿蹖诏乇 丿乇 禺丕賳賴 賳賲蹖鈥屬聚屭嗀�. 丿蹖诏乇 丿爻鬲鈥屬囏й屰� 讴賴 亘丕 诏乇賮鬲賳卮丕賳 丌乇丕賲 賲蹖鈥屫簇屫� 禺賱兀 賱丕蹖 丕賳诏卮鬲丕賳鬲 乇丕 倬乇 賳賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁嗀�. 賳賴 禺亘乇蹖 丕夭 亘睾賱蹖 讴賴 鬲爻賱丕蹖 禺丕胤乇鬲 亘卮賵丿 賴爻鬲貙 賳賴 禺亘乇蹖 丕夭 丨囟賵乇 诏乇賲卮. 鬲賵 丕賵 乇丕 亘乇丕蹖 賴賲蹖卮賴 丕夭 丿爻鬲 丿丕丿賴鈥屫й�. 賵 爻乇夭賳卮 讴乇丿賳 禺賵丿鬲 丕賵 亘乇賳賲蹖鈥屭必з嗀�. 丕蹖賳 亘夭乇诏鈥屫臂屬� 鬲乇丕跇丿蹖 丕賳爻丕賳 丕爻鬲. 讴賴 賯丿乇鬲卮 亘丕 丿賵丕賲 丌賵乇丿賳 亘毓丿 丕夭 丕夭 丿爻鬲 丿丕丿賳鈥屬囏й屫� 爻賳噩蹖丿賴 賲蹖鈥屫促堌�. 賴乇趩賳丿 賲乇诏 睾蹖乇賯丕亘賱 亘乇诏卮鬲 丕爻鬲 賵賱蹖 賯胤毓蹖鬲鈥屫� 賲丕蹖賴鈥屰� 鬲爻賱丕 丕爻鬲. 丕蹖賳 讴賴 丿蹖诏乇 丕夭 賲蹖丕賳 賲丕 乇賮鬲貙 賵 賵賯鬲卮 丕爻鬲 讴賴 鬲丕 丕亘丿 亘丕 丕賵 賵丿丕毓 讴賳蹖賲. 丕賲丕 诏丕賴蹖 丌丿賲鈥屬囏й屰� 丿乇 丕胤乇丕賮賲丕賳 賴爻鬲賳丿 讴賴 賴賲賵丕乇賴 亘賴 夭賳丿诏蹖 禺賵丿 丕丿丕賲賴 賲蹖鈥屫囐嗀� 賵賱蹖 亘乇丕蹖 賲丕 賲蹖鈥屬呟屫辟嗀�. 賵賱蹖 禺丕胤乇丕鬲 賵 爻丕毓鬲鈥屬囏й屰� 讴賴 亘丕 丌賳鈥屬囏� 爻倬乇蹖 卮丿賴 賲丕蹖賴鈥屰� 毓匕丕亘蹖 賲夭賲賳 賵 丌夭丕乇丿賴賳丿賴 丿乇 賲睾夭 賲丕 亘賴 夭蹖爻鬲 禺賵丿 丕丿丕賲賴 賲蹖鈥屫囐嗀�. 丕蹖賳 賳賵毓 賲乇诏貙 賲孬賱 蹖讴 讴賲丕蹖 丕亘丿蹖 丕爻鬲. 賴賲 賲乇丿賴 賴賲 賳賲乇丿賴. 丿蹖诏乇 亘賴 讴丕乇 鬲賵 賳賲蹖鈥屫③屫� 丿蹖诏乇 賲鬲毓賱賯 亘賴 噩賴丕賳 鬲賵 賳蹖爻鬲 賵賱蹖 賳賲蹖鈥屫堌з嗃� 禺賵丿鬲 乇丕 鬲爻讴蹖賳 丿賴蹖 讴賴 丕賵 賲乇丿賴 賵 亘丕蹖丿 亘丕 丌賳 讴賳丕乇 亘蹖丕蹖蹖貙 趩賵賳 讴丕賲賱 賳賲乇丿賴 丕爻鬲. 丿賵賲蹖賳 賲乇诏貙 毓匕丕亘卮 亘蹖卮鬲乇 丕爻鬲.
丕蹖賳 鬲賳賴丕 讴鬲丕亘蹖 亘賵丿 讴賴 亘丕 丌賳 诏乇蹖賴 讴乇丿賲貙 趩賵賳 鬲讴 鬲讴 噩賲賱丕鬲卮 禺丕賱氐丕賳賴 賵 毓丕卮賯丕賳賴 亘賵丿. 賵 丕賲鬲蹖丕夭 讴鬲丕亘 賴賲 氐乇賮丕 亘乇丕蹖 賮氐賱 爻賵賲 丕爻鬲. 賴賲丕賳诏賵賳賴 讴賴 賲蹖鈥屫堌з� 丿賵 賮氐賱 丕賵賱 乇丕 賳禺賵丕賳丿貙 賮氐賱 爻賵賲 乇丕 賲蹖鈥屫堌з� 亘丕乇賴丕 賵 亘丕乇賴丕 禺賵丕賳丿. 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘貙 乇丕賴鈥屬囏й� 讴賳丕乇 丌賲丿賳 亘丕 爻賵诏 乇丕 賳卮丕賳 賳禺賵丕賴丿 丿丕丿. 賳賲蹖鈥屭堐屫� 亘乇丕蹖 亘乇賵賳鈥屫辟佖� 丕夭 丕蹖賳 賵囟毓蹖鬲 趩賴 亘丕蹖丿 讴乇丿. 丕卮讴 卮賲丕 乇丕 丿乇 賲蹖鈥屫①堌必�. 賵賱蹖 丿乇 賳賴丕蹖鬲 丨爻 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗃屫� 丌丿賲蹖 丌賳鈥屫迟堐� 丿賳蹖丕 賵噩賵丿 丿丕乇丿 讴賴 毓賲蹖賯丕 丿乇丿 卮賲丕 乇丕 賲蹖鈥屬佡囐呚�. 賵 丕蹖賳 趩蹖夭蹖 丕爻鬲 讴賴 诏丕賴蹖 亘蹖卮鬲乇 丕夭 乇丕賴賳賲丕蹖蹖鈥屬囏й� 乇賵丕賳卮賳丕爻丕賳賴 亘賴 丌賳 丕丨鬲蹖丕噩 丿丕乇蹖賲. 鬲爻賱丕蹖 丕蹖賳 讴賴 亘丿丕賳蹖賲 讴爻蹖 賴爻鬲 讴賴 賲丕 乇丕 丿乇讴 讴賳丿.
賳賲蹖鈥屫促堌� 禺乇丿賴 诏乇賮鬲. 賲丕 賲丨讴賵賲 亘賴 丕夭 丿爻鬲 丿丕丿賳鈥屫й屬�. 賴乇趩賳丿 亘蹖卮鬲乇賲丕賳 丿賵爻鬲 丿丕乇蹖賲 倬蹖卮 丕夭 毓夭蹖夭丕賳賲丕賳 亘乇賵蹖賲貙 賵賱蹖 賲毓賲賵賱丕 丕蹖賳 胤賵乇 賳賲蹖鈥屫促堌�. 乇賵夭蹖 賲蹖鈥屫必池� 讴賴 丿蹖诏乇 氐丿丕蹖蹖 讴賴 賴乇 乇賵夭 賯乇亘丕賳 氐丿賯賴鈥屫� 賲蹖鈥屫辟佖� 丿蹖诏乇 丿乇 禺丕賳賴 賳賲蹖鈥屬聚屭嗀�. 丿蹖诏乇 丿爻鬲鈥屬囏й屰� 讴賴 亘丕 诏乇賮鬲賳卮丕賳 丌乇丕賲 賲蹖鈥屫簇屫� 禺賱兀 賱丕蹖 丕賳诏卮鬲丕賳鬲 乇丕 倬乇 賳賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁嗀�. 賳賴 禺亘乇蹖 丕夭 亘睾賱蹖 讴賴 鬲爻賱丕蹖 禺丕胤乇鬲 亘卮賵丿 賴爻鬲貙 賳賴 禺亘乇蹖 丕夭 丨囟賵乇 诏乇賲卮. 鬲賵 丕賵 乇丕 亘乇丕蹖 賴賲蹖卮賴 丕夭 丿爻鬲 丿丕丿賴鈥屫й�. 賵 爻乇夭賳卮 讴乇丿賳 禺賵丿鬲 丕賵 亘乇賳賲蹖鈥屭必з嗀�. 丕蹖賳 亘夭乇诏鈥屫臂屬� 鬲乇丕跇丿蹖 丕賳爻丕賳 丕爻鬲. 讴賴 賯丿乇鬲卮 亘丕 丿賵丕賲 丌賵乇丿賳 亘毓丿 丕夭 丕夭 丿爻鬲 丿丕丿賳鈥屬囏й屫� 爻賳噩蹖丿賴 賲蹖鈥屫促堌�. 賴乇趩賳丿 賲乇诏 睾蹖乇賯丕亘賱 亘乇诏卮鬲 丕爻鬲 賵賱蹖 賯胤毓蹖鬲鈥屫� 賲丕蹖賴鈥屰� 鬲爻賱丕 丕爻鬲. 丕蹖賳 讴賴 丿蹖诏乇 丕夭 賲蹖丕賳 賲丕 乇賮鬲貙 賵 賵賯鬲卮 丕爻鬲 讴賴 鬲丕 丕亘丿 亘丕 丕賵 賵丿丕毓 讴賳蹖賲. 丕賲丕 诏丕賴蹖 丌丿賲鈥屬囏й屰� 丿乇 丕胤乇丕賮賲丕賳 賴爻鬲賳丿 讴賴 賴賲賵丕乇賴 亘賴 夭賳丿诏蹖 禺賵丿 丕丿丕賲賴 賲蹖鈥屫囐嗀� 賵賱蹖 亘乇丕蹖 賲丕 賲蹖鈥屬呟屫辟嗀�. 賵賱蹖 禺丕胤乇丕鬲 賵 爻丕毓鬲鈥屬囏й屰� 讴賴 亘丕 丌賳鈥屬囏� 爻倬乇蹖 卮丿賴 賲丕蹖賴鈥屰� 毓匕丕亘蹖 賲夭賲賳 賵 丌夭丕乇丿賴賳丿賴 丿乇 賲睾夭 賲丕 亘賴 夭蹖爻鬲 禺賵丿 丕丿丕賲賴 賲蹖鈥屫囐嗀�. 丕蹖賳 賳賵毓 賲乇诏貙 賲孬賱 蹖讴 讴賲丕蹖 丕亘丿蹖 丕爻鬲. 賴賲 賲乇丿賴 賴賲 賳賲乇丿賴. 丿蹖诏乇 亘賴 讴丕乇 鬲賵 賳賲蹖鈥屫③屫� 丿蹖诏乇 賲鬲毓賱賯 亘賴 噩賴丕賳 鬲賵 賳蹖爻鬲 賵賱蹖 賳賲蹖鈥屫堌з嗃� 禺賵丿鬲 乇丕 鬲爻讴蹖賳 丿賴蹖 讴賴 丕賵 賲乇丿賴 賵 亘丕蹖丿 亘丕 丌賳 讴賳丕乇 亘蹖丕蹖蹖貙 趩賵賳 讴丕賲賱 賳賲乇丿賴 丕爻鬲. 丿賵賲蹖賳 賲乇诏貙 毓匕丕亘卮 亘蹖卮鬲乇 丕爻鬲.
丕蹖賳 鬲賳賴丕 讴鬲丕亘蹖 亘賵丿 讴賴 亘丕 丌賳 诏乇蹖賴 讴乇丿賲貙 趩賵賳 鬲讴 鬲讴 噩賲賱丕鬲卮 禺丕賱氐丕賳賴 賵 毓丕卮賯丕賳賴 亘賵丿. 賵 丕賲鬲蹖丕夭 讴鬲丕亘 賴賲 氐乇賮丕 亘乇丕蹖 賮氐賱 爻賵賲 丕爻鬲. 賴賲丕賳诏賵賳賴 讴賴 賲蹖鈥屫堌з� 丿賵 賮氐賱 丕賵賱 乇丕 賳禺賵丕賳丿貙 賮氐賱 爻賵賲 乇丕 賲蹖鈥屫堌з� 亘丕乇賴丕 賵 亘丕乇賴丕 禺賵丕賳丿. 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘貙 乇丕賴鈥屬囏й� 讴賳丕乇 丌賲丿賳 亘丕 爻賵诏 乇丕 賳卮丕賳 賳禺賵丕賴丿 丿丕丿. 賳賲蹖鈥屭堐屫� 亘乇丕蹖 亘乇賵賳鈥屫辟佖� 丕夭 丕蹖賳 賵囟毓蹖鬲 趩賴 亘丕蹖丿 讴乇丿. 丕卮讴 卮賲丕 乇丕 丿乇 賲蹖鈥屫①堌必�. 賵賱蹖 丿乇 賳賴丕蹖鬲 丨爻 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗃屫� 丌丿賲蹖 丌賳鈥屫迟堐� 丿賳蹖丕 賵噩賵丿 丿丕乇丿 讴賴 毓賲蹖賯丕 丿乇丿 卮賲丕 乇丕 賲蹖鈥屬佡囐呚�. 賵 丕蹖賳 趩蹖夭蹖 丕爻鬲 讴賴 诏丕賴蹖 亘蹖卮鬲乇 丕夭 乇丕賴賳賲丕蹖蹖鈥屬囏й� 乇賵丕賳卮賳丕爻丕賳賴 亘賴 丌賳 丕丨鬲蹖丕噩 丿丕乇蹖賲. 鬲爻賱丕蹖 丕蹖賳 讴賴 亘丿丕賳蹖賲 讴爻蹖 賴爻鬲 讴賴 賲丕 乇丕 丿乇讴 讴賳丿.
Read
November 1, 2023"Levels of life " - seems to start slowly, and involves some difficulty, if you're not a loyal reader of Barnes.
The last 46 pages have its emotional center, if you will read only these, you would be fully satisfied by the reading you have chosen.
The story has a structure divided into a three parts. The three major "chapters" are linked by an idea who is repeated as a leitmotif, throughout the volume :
" You put together two things that have never been joined, and the world is changing ".
As I said, the author is discovered in all the splendor of his sensitivity, in the last part of the volume. If I were to say in three words what it's here, I would reply without hesitation : love and pain.
And then, I would add that it is one of the most wonderful speeches about love and suffering. At one point, it doesn't even matter that it's about Barnes' life partner, but about his try to find a purpose in life, after losing a loved person.
Besides, he doesn't even call his wife once in the book, only at the beginning there is the simple dedication " To Pat "...
After all, if you haven't lost anyone dear until now, in addition to being lucky, you will imagine what it will be like .
And if you've been through that, Barnes will catch up all your sensitive cords.
Anyway, I assure that it is not a book you will forget too easily.
The last 46 pages have its emotional center, if you will read only these, you would be fully satisfied by the reading you have chosen.
The story has a structure divided into a three parts. The three major "chapters" are linked by an idea who is repeated as a leitmotif, throughout the volume :
" You put together two things that have never been joined, and the world is changing ".
As I said, the author is discovered in all the splendor of his sensitivity, in the last part of the volume. If I were to say in three words what it's here, I would reply without hesitation : love and pain.
And then, I would add that it is one of the most wonderful speeches about love and suffering. At one point, it doesn't even matter that it's about Barnes' life partner, but about his try to find a purpose in life, after losing a loved person.
Besides, he doesn't even call his wife once in the book, only at the beginning there is the simple dedication " To Pat "...
After all, if you haven't lost anyone dear until now, in addition to being lucky, you will imagine what it will be like .
And if you've been through that, Barnes will catch up all your sensitive cords.
Anyway, I assure that it is not a book you will forget too easily.
April 1, 2015
Levels of life. What a fitting title for this novel, overflowing with metaphor. It reads as three different books all in one slim novel. Three different levels of emotion, as well as the physical level of height.
The first section deals with aeronautics, in the form of ballooning. It depicts the first view of our world from above and at a distance. A beautiful quote was, "Altitude reduces all things to their relative proportions, and to the truth. Cares, remorse, disgust become strangers: How easily indifference, contempt, forgetfulness drop away...and forgiveness descends."
The second section is an account of a love affair. Those involved derive from the first section. It asked me the question of what makes me complete. Who is really "on the level."
The third section is Barn's deeply touching thoughts and emotions of his wife's death. It is full of some of the most profound insights I have ever read. It really helped me, as I have not lost a deeply loved one to death. Knowing now what a person experiences at the most extreme level, has given me insight into the complex emotions experienced, and the tools necessary to help instead of hinder.
I must say, that the more involved I became in writing this review, the more connections, and metaphors I found all around me. Each section is intricately wound in another. And here I thought this would be an easy review!
The first section deals with aeronautics, in the form of ballooning. It depicts the first view of our world from above and at a distance. A beautiful quote was, "Altitude reduces all things to their relative proportions, and to the truth. Cares, remorse, disgust become strangers: How easily indifference, contempt, forgetfulness drop away...and forgiveness descends."
The second section is an account of a love affair. Those involved derive from the first section. It asked me the question of what makes me complete. Who is really "on the level."
The third section is Barn's deeply touching thoughts and emotions of his wife's death. It is full of some of the most profound insights I have ever read. It really helped me, as I have not lost a deeply loved one to death. Knowing now what a person experiences at the most extreme level, has given me insight into the complex emotions experienced, and the tools necessary to help instead of hinder.
I must say, that the more involved I became in writing this review, the more connections, and metaphors I found all around me. Each section is intricately wound in another. And here I thought this would be an easy review!
December 31, 2017
This was my first Julian Barnes book/audiobook, and it kills me to admit that I won't be able to write a review worthy of this historical essays collection. So, I'll just write down a few thoughts.
When I borrowed this book, I had no idea what to expect, as I didn't read the blurb, I just saw it was available, and since Barnes was on my TBR, I downloaded it.
I enjoyed this audiobook from the very beginning, as Julian Barnes' narration was music to my ears - I love his proper, educated, English accent. Barnes is a wonderful narrator, who managed to keep my interest, even when the story was getting a bit drier, with ballooning terms and other technical aspects. I must confess, I knew almost nothing about ballooning, so it was interesting to learn a few things. If it makes any sense, I was fascinated with his fascination for ballooning, and that he had obviously thought about and researched it.
In this first part, we learn about the British Frederick Barnaby who managed to cross the English Chanel in 1882 in a hot air balloon. Also, the earlier days of photography and aerial photography come into play, through Nadar. I guiltily admit that I had no idea who Barnaby or Nadar were. But that's one of the amazing things about Levels of Life, it made me look up more information on the people mentioned in it.
Masterfully, in the second part, Barnes managed to move on to the relationship between Barnaby and the famous French actress, Sarah Bernhardt (I did know who she was). Bernhardt had been extensively photographed by Nadar, who had also flown in a hot air balloon with Barnaby. We learn about Barnaby's infatuation with Bernhardt and their brief relationship.
Without a doubt, the pi猫ce de r茅sistance is the last part, The Loss of Depth, which is autobiographical and reveals Julian Barnes astounding grief following his beloved wife's death in 2008. I cannot remember ever reading anything about grief and a partnership that was so beautifully articulated, so raw, and so heartwrenching. I had to take a couple of breaks, as it was too much to take in. The fact that Barnes himself was narrating it, made me sob even more. That last essay is mostly about grief, but also about memory. Just thinking about it makes my eyes fill up with tears.
As far as I'm concerned, The Loss of Depth is a masterpiece.
Before I got to the last essay, I was contemplating a 4-star rating, but The Loss of Depth elevated the entire book to 5 stars +.
I am convinced I have found a new favourite writer in Julian Barnes. I am looking forward to reading more of his books.
When I borrowed this book, I had no idea what to expect, as I didn't read the blurb, I just saw it was available, and since Barnes was on my TBR, I downloaded it.
I enjoyed this audiobook from the very beginning, as Julian Barnes' narration was music to my ears - I love his proper, educated, English accent. Barnes is a wonderful narrator, who managed to keep my interest, even when the story was getting a bit drier, with ballooning terms and other technical aspects. I must confess, I knew almost nothing about ballooning, so it was interesting to learn a few things. If it makes any sense, I was fascinated with his fascination for ballooning, and that he had obviously thought about and researched it.
In this first part, we learn about the British Frederick Barnaby who managed to cross the English Chanel in 1882 in a hot air balloon. Also, the earlier days of photography and aerial photography come into play, through Nadar. I guiltily admit that I had no idea who Barnaby or Nadar were. But that's one of the amazing things about Levels of Life, it made me look up more information on the people mentioned in it.
Masterfully, in the second part, Barnes managed to move on to the relationship between Barnaby and the famous French actress, Sarah Bernhardt (I did know who she was). Bernhardt had been extensively photographed by Nadar, who had also flown in a hot air balloon with Barnaby. We learn about Barnaby's infatuation with Bernhardt and their brief relationship.
Without a doubt, the pi猫ce de r茅sistance is the last part, The Loss of Depth, which is autobiographical and reveals Julian Barnes astounding grief following his beloved wife's death in 2008. I cannot remember ever reading anything about grief and a partnership that was so beautifully articulated, so raw, and so heartwrenching. I had to take a couple of breaks, as it was too much to take in. The fact that Barnes himself was narrating it, made me sob even more. That last essay is mostly about grief, but also about memory. Just thinking about it makes my eyes fill up with tears.
As far as I'm concerned, The Loss of Depth is a masterpiece.
Before I got to the last essay, I was contemplating a 4-star rating, but The Loss of Depth elevated the entire book to 5 stars +.
I am convinced I have found a new favourite writer in Julian Barnes. I am looking forward to reading more of his books.
February 15, 2022
丌禺 賯賱亘賲 馃槶馃槏
禺賵卮丨丕賱賲 讴賴 賳賵卮鬲賴 卮丿蹖貙 趩丕倬 卮丿蹖貙 鬲乇噩賲賴 卮丿蹖貙 賲賳鬲卮乇 卮丿蹖. 丕賵賳賲 鬲賵爻胤賽 趩賳蹖賳 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 蹖 禺賮賳 賵 賲鬲乇噩賲賽 讴丕乇 丿乇爻鬲蹖
丕夭 丕賵賳 讴鬲丕亘丕蹖 亘睾賱 讴乇丿賳蹖賽 倬乇爻鬲蹖丿賳蹖賽 夭蹖亘丕蹖蹖 亘賵丿 讴賴 丌丿賲 賴乇 賱丨馗賴 丿賱卮 賲蹖禺賵丕丿 讴鬲丕亘賵 賯賵乇鬲 亘丿賴馃ぉ馃槄
禺蹖賱蹖 賵賯鬲 亘賵丿 讴賴 趩卮賲 丕賳鬲馗丕乇鬲 亘賵丿賲 賵 丕夭 賴賲賵賳 16 亘賴賲賳賽 亘丕乇賵賳蹖 讴賴 賵丕乇丿賽 讴鬲丕亘禺賵賳賴 賲 卮丿蹖貙 毓丕卮賯鬲 卮丿賲. 丿乇爻鬲賴 讴賴 賲蹖诏賳 讴鬲丕亘丕 乇賵 賳亘丕蹖丿 丕夭 乇賵蹖 噩賱丿卮賵賳 賯囟丕賵鬲 讴乇丿貨 賵賱蹖 賲賳 丨鬲蹖 卮蹖賮鬲賴 蹖 噩賱丿鬲 卮丿賲 毓夭蹖夭賽 賲賳 *賭* 卮蹖賮鬲賴 蹖 丕賵賳 賳賵乇賽 賯卮賳诏蹖 讴賴 丕夭 倬賳噩乇賴 丕賮鬲丕丿賴 乇賵蹖 丿蹖賵丕乇貙 乇賳诏賽 爻亘夭賽 丿賱賳卮蹖賳賽 丿蹖賵丕乇貙 賮囟丕蹖 禺賵賳賴貙 爻讴賵鬲賽 賲丨爻賵爻蹖 讴賴 丨丕讴賲賴.... 賴賲賴 趩蹖卮馃槏
讴鬲丕亘 卮丕賲賱 3 賮氐賱賴 讴賴 鬲賯乇蹖亘丕 亘賴賲 賳丕賲乇亘賵胤賳. 丕爻賲賽 丕氐賱蹖賽 讴鬲丕亘 "爻胤賵丨 夭賳丿诏蹖" 卅賴 讴賴 亘賴 鬲卮禺蹖氐 賲鬲乇噩賲 鬲睾蹖蹖乇 蹖丕賮鬲賴 賵 丨賯蹖賯鬲丕 讴賴 丕爻賲賽 鬲睾蹖蹖乇 蹖丕賮鬲賴 卮賵 禺蹖賱蹖 亘蹖卮鬲乇 丿賵爻鬲 丿丕乇賲 賵 亘蹖卮鬲乇 亘賴 鬲賲賽 讴鬲丕亘 賲蹖丕丿馃挋
乇丕爻鬲卮 丿賵 賮氐賱賽 丕賵賱 乇賵 丕賵賳賯丿乇 讴賴 亘丕蹖丿 丿賵爻鬲 賳丿丕卮鬲賲貙 丕賲丕 卮丕賴讴丕乇賽 丕氐賱蹖 賮氐賱 3 卅賴 讴賴 賲毓乇讴賴 亘賵丿貨 賲毓毓毓毓毓乇讴賴!
賮氐賱 丕賵賱 鬲賯乇蹖亘丕 鬲丕乇蹖禺趩賴 蹖 爻丕禺鬲 亘丕賱賵賳 賵 亘丕賱賵賳 爻賵丕乇蹖 亘賵丿貙 賮氐賱 丿賵賲 亘賴 賳賯賱賽 賲丕噩乇丕蹖 爻丕乇丕 亘乇賳丕乇丿 賵 賮乇丿 亘乇賳丕亘蹖 倬乇丿丕禺鬲賴 賵 賮氐賱 3 乇賵丕蹖鬲蹖 丕夭 毓卮賯 賵 丕賳丿賵賴賴. 賲賵丕噩賴賴 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 亘丕 賲乇诏賽 賴賲爻乇卮...
丕賳丿賵賴 賵 賮賯丿丕賳賽 賲乇诏 倬賻鬲 亘乇丕蹖 噩賵賱蹖賳 讴丕賱蹖賳 丕賵賳賯丿乇 毓馗蹖賲 亘賵丿 讴賴 亘賴 賮讴乇 禺賵丿讴卮蹖 丕賮鬲丕丿. 丕賲丕 鬲賳賴丕 蹖讴 趩蹖夭 亘丕毓孬 卮丿 丕夭 禺賵丿讴卮蹖 賲賳氐乇賮 亘卮賴:
賲鬲賵噩賴 卮丿賲 丕賵 鬲丕 噩丕蹖蹖 夭賳丿賴 賲蹖 賲丕賳丿 讴賴 丿乇 丨丕賮馗賴 蹖 賲賳 夭賳丿賴 賲丕賳丿賴. 丕賱亘鬲賴 讴賴 丿乇 匕賴賳 亘丕賯蹖賽 丌丿賲 賴丕 賴賲 亘賴 賯賵鬲 賴賲趩賳丕賳 亘丕賯蹖 丕爻鬲貙 丕賲丕 賲賳 蹖诏丕賳賴 蹖丕丿丌賵乇卮 亘賵丿賲. 丕诏乇 賴賲賴 噩丕 丨丕囟乇 亘賵丿 亘賴 丕蹖賳 禺丕胤乇 亘賵丿 讴賴 丿乇 丿乇賵賳 賲賳 亘賵丿貙 丿乇賵賳 卮丿賴 蹖 賲賳. 賲毓賱賵賲 亘賵丿. 賵 亘賴 賴賲丕賳 丕賳丿丕夭賴 賴賲 胤亘蹖毓蹖 賵 丕賳讴丕乇 賳丕倬匕蹖乇 亘賵丿 讴賴 賳賲蹖 鬲賵丕賳爻鬲賲 禺賵丿賲 乇丕 亘讴卮賲貙 趩賵賳 丿乇 丕蹖賳 氐賵乇鬲 丕賵 乇丕 賴賲 賲蹖 讴卮鬲賲. 亘乇丕蹖 亘丕乇 丿賵賲 賲蹖 賲購乇丿...
賮氐賱3 丕賵賳賯丿乇 亘乇丕賲 賱匕鬲 亘禺卮 亘賵丿 讴賴 讴賲亘賵丿丕蹖 賮氐賱 1 賵 2 亘賴 趩卮賲賲 賳賲蹖丕丿. 卮丕蹖丿 毓噩蹖亘 亘丕卮賴貙 賵賱蹖 毓賲蹖賯丕 亘丕 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 賴賲夭丕丿 倬賳丿丕乇蹖 賲蹖讴賳賲 賵 鬲讴 鬲讴 賵丕跇賴 賴丕卮賵 丿乇讴 賲蹖讴賳賲. 丿賱賲 賲蹖禺賵丕丿 賴乇 趩賳丿 賵賯鬲 蹖賴 亘丕乇 亘乇诏乇丿賲 賵 賮氐賱3 乇賵 亘禺賵賳賲 賵 亘亘賵爻賲 :)
亘賴 賲賳 丕胤賲蹖賳丕賳 丿賵亘丕乇賴 丿丕丿 讴賴 丌丿賲 丕夭 丕賳丿賵賴 噩丕賳 爻丕賱賲 亘賴 丿乇 賲蹖 亘乇丿貨 鬲丕夭賴 賮乇丿賽 "賯賵蹖 鬲乇" 賵 蹖讴 噩賵乇賴丕蹖蹖 "亘賴鬲乇"蹖 賴賲 賲蹖 卮賵丿. 丨乇賮卮 亘賴 賳馗乇賲 卮賳蹖毓 賵 禺賵丿倬乇爻鬲丕賳賴 丌賲丿 (賵丕賱亘鬲賴 禺蹖賱蹖 賴賲 夭賵丿 賯囟丕賵鬲 讴乇丿賴 亘賵丿賲) 趩胤賵乇 賲賲讴賳 亘賵丿 亘鬲賵丕賳賲 亘丿賵賳 丕賵貙 賳爻亘鬲 亘賴 賵賯鬲蹖 讴賴 亘賵丿貙 丌丿賲 亘賴鬲乇蹖 亘丕卮賲責 亘毓丿卮 賮讴乇 讴乇丿賲: 丕賲丕 禺亘 賮賯胤 丿丕乇丿 噩賲賱賴 蹖 賳蹖趩賴 乇丕 亘丕夭诏賵 賲蹖 讴賳丿 讴賴 賴乇趩賴 賲丕 乇丕 賳賲蹖 讴購卮丿貙 賯賵蹖 鬲乇賲丕賳 賲蹖 讴賳丿. 亘毓丿 丕夭 丕蹖賳 丕鬲賮丕賯貙 丨丕賱丕 賲丿鬲 賴丕爻鬲 讴賴 亘賴 賳馗乇賲 丕蹖賳 噩賲賱賴 蹖 賳睾夭 讴賲蹖 睾賱胤 丕賳丿丕夭 丕爻鬲. 禺蹖賱蹖 趩蹖夭賴丕 賴爻鬲 讴賴 賲丕乇丕 賳賲蹖 讴購卮丿貙 丕賲丕 鬲丕 丕亘丿 囟毓蹖賮 賲丕賳 賲蹖 讴賳丿
禺賵卮丨丕賱賲 讴賴 賳賵卮鬲賴 卮丿蹖貙 趩丕倬 卮丿蹖貙 鬲乇噩賲賴 卮丿蹖貙 賲賳鬲卮乇 卮丿蹖. 丕賵賳賲 鬲賵爻胤賽 趩賳蹖賳 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 蹖 禺賮賳 賵 賲鬲乇噩賲賽 讴丕乇 丿乇爻鬲蹖
丕夭 丕賵賳 讴鬲丕亘丕蹖 亘睾賱 讴乇丿賳蹖賽 倬乇爻鬲蹖丿賳蹖賽 夭蹖亘丕蹖蹖 亘賵丿 讴賴 丌丿賲 賴乇 賱丨馗賴 丿賱卮 賲蹖禺賵丕丿 讴鬲丕亘賵 賯賵乇鬲 亘丿賴馃ぉ馃槄
禺蹖賱蹖 賵賯鬲 亘賵丿 讴賴 趩卮賲 丕賳鬲馗丕乇鬲 亘賵丿賲 賵 丕夭 賴賲賵賳 16 亘賴賲賳賽 亘丕乇賵賳蹖 讴賴 賵丕乇丿賽 讴鬲丕亘禺賵賳賴 賲 卮丿蹖貙 毓丕卮賯鬲 卮丿賲. 丿乇爻鬲賴 讴賴 賲蹖诏賳 讴鬲丕亘丕 乇賵 賳亘丕蹖丿 丕夭 乇賵蹖 噩賱丿卮賵賳 賯囟丕賵鬲 讴乇丿貨 賵賱蹖 賲賳 丨鬲蹖 卮蹖賮鬲賴 蹖 噩賱丿鬲 卮丿賲 毓夭蹖夭賽 賲賳 *賭* 卮蹖賮鬲賴 蹖 丕賵賳 賳賵乇賽 賯卮賳诏蹖 讴賴 丕夭 倬賳噩乇賴 丕賮鬲丕丿賴 乇賵蹖 丿蹖賵丕乇貙 乇賳诏賽 爻亘夭賽 丿賱賳卮蹖賳賽 丿蹖賵丕乇貙 賮囟丕蹖 禺賵賳賴貙 爻讴賵鬲賽 賲丨爻賵爻蹖 讴賴 丨丕讴賲賴.... 賴賲賴 趩蹖卮馃槏
讴鬲丕亘 卮丕賲賱 3 賮氐賱賴 讴賴 鬲賯乇蹖亘丕 亘賴賲 賳丕賲乇亘賵胤賳. 丕爻賲賽 丕氐賱蹖賽 讴鬲丕亘 "爻胤賵丨 夭賳丿诏蹖" 卅賴 讴賴 亘賴 鬲卮禺蹖氐 賲鬲乇噩賲 鬲睾蹖蹖乇 蹖丕賮鬲賴 賵 丨賯蹖賯鬲丕 讴賴 丕爻賲賽 鬲睾蹖蹖乇 蹖丕賮鬲賴 卮賵 禺蹖賱蹖 亘蹖卮鬲乇 丿賵爻鬲 丿丕乇賲 賵 亘蹖卮鬲乇 亘賴 鬲賲賽 讴鬲丕亘 賲蹖丕丿馃挋
乇丕爻鬲卮 丿賵 賮氐賱賽 丕賵賱 乇賵 丕賵賳賯丿乇 讴賴 亘丕蹖丿 丿賵爻鬲 賳丿丕卮鬲賲貙 丕賲丕 卮丕賴讴丕乇賽 丕氐賱蹖 賮氐賱 3 卅賴 讴賴 賲毓乇讴賴 亘賵丿貨 賲毓毓毓毓毓乇讴賴!
賮氐賱 丕賵賱 鬲賯乇蹖亘丕 鬲丕乇蹖禺趩賴 蹖 爻丕禺鬲 亘丕賱賵賳 賵 亘丕賱賵賳 爻賵丕乇蹖 亘賵丿貙 賮氐賱 丿賵賲 亘賴 賳賯賱賽 賲丕噩乇丕蹖 爻丕乇丕 亘乇賳丕乇丿 賵 賮乇丿 亘乇賳丕亘蹖 倬乇丿丕禺鬲賴 賵 賮氐賱 3 乇賵丕蹖鬲蹖 丕夭 毓卮賯 賵 丕賳丿賵賴賴. 賲賵丕噩賴賴 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 亘丕 賲乇诏賽 賴賲爻乇卮...
丕賳丿賵賴 賵 賮賯丿丕賳賽 賲乇诏 倬賻鬲 亘乇丕蹖 噩賵賱蹖賳 讴丕賱蹖賳 丕賵賳賯丿乇 毓馗蹖賲 亘賵丿 讴賴 亘賴 賮讴乇 禺賵丿讴卮蹖 丕賮鬲丕丿. 丕賲丕 鬲賳賴丕 蹖讴 趩蹖夭 亘丕毓孬 卮丿 丕夭 禺賵丿讴卮蹖 賲賳氐乇賮 亘卮賴:
賲鬲賵噩賴 卮丿賲 丕賵 鬲丕 噩丕蹖蹖 夭賳丿賴 賲蹖 賲丕賳丿 讴賴 丿乇 丨丕賮馗賴 蹖 賲賳 夭賳丿賴 賲丕賳丿賴. 丕賱亘鬲賴 讴賴 丿乇 匕賴賳 亘丕賯蹖賽 丌丿賲 賴丕 賴賲 亘賴 賯賵鬲 賴賲趩賳丕賳 亘丕賯蹖 丕爻鬲貙 丕賲丕 賲賳 蹖诏丕賳賴 蹖丕丿丌賵乇卮 亘賵丿賲. 丕诏乇 賴賲賴 噩丕 丨丕囟乇 亘賵丿 亘賴 丕蹖賳 禺丕胤乇 亘賵丿 讴賴 丿乇 丿乇賵賳 賲賳 亘賵丿貙 丿乇賵賳 卮丿賴 蹖 賲賳. 賲毓賱賵賲 亘賵丿. 賵 亘賴 賴賲丕賳 丕賳丿丕夭賴 賴賲 胤亘蹖毓蹖 賵 丕賳讴丕乇 賳丕倬匕蹖乇 亘賵丿 讴賴 賳賲蹖 鬲賵丕賳爻鬲賲 禺賵丿賲 乇丕 亘讴卮賲貙 趩賵賳 丿乇 丕蹖賳 氐賵乇鬲 丕賵 乇丕 賴賲 賲蹖 讴卮鬲賲. 亘乇丕蹖 亘丕乇 丿賵賲 賲蹖 賲購乇丿...
賮氐賱3 丕賵賳賯丿乇 亘乇丕賲 賱匕鬲 亘禺卮 亘賵丿 讴賴 讴賲亘賵丿丕蹖 賮氐賱 1 賵 2 亘賴 趩卮賲賲 賳賲蹖丕丿. 卮丕蹖丿 毓噩蹖亘 亘丕卮賴貙 賵賱蹖 毓賲蹖賯丕 亘丕 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 賴賲夭丕丿 倬賳丿丕乇蹖 賲蹖讴賳賲 賵 鬲讴 鬲讴 賵丕跇賴 賴丕卮賵 丿乇讴 賲蹖讴賳賲. 丿賱賲 賲蹖禺賵丕丿 賴乇 趩賳丿 賵賯鬲 蹖賴 亘丕乇 亘乇诏乇丿賲 賵 賮氐賱3 乇賵 亘禺賵賳賲 賵 亘亘賵爻賲 :)
亘賴 賲賳 丕胤賲蹖賳丕賳 丿賵亘丕乇賴 丿丕丿 讴賴 丌丿賲 丕夭 丕賳丿賵賴 噩丕賳 爻丕賱賲 亘賴 丿乇 賲蹖 亘乇丿貨 鬲丕夭賴 賮乇丿賽 "賯賵蹖 鬲乇" 賵 蹖讴 噩賵乇賴丕蹖蹖 "亘賴鬲乇"蹖 賴賲 賲蹖 卮賵丿. 丨乇賮卮 亘賴 賳馗乇賲 卮賳蹖毓 賵 禺賵丿倬乇爻鬲丕賳賴 丌賲丿 (賵丕賱亘鬲賴 禺蹖賱蹖 賴賲 夭賵丿 賯囟丕賵鬲 讴乇丿賴 亘賵丿賲) 趩胤賵乇 賲賲讴賳 亘賵丿 亘鬲賵丕賳賲 亘丿賵賳 丕賵貙 賳爻亘鬲 亘賴 賵賯鬲蹖 讴賴 亘賵丿貙 丌丿賲 亘賴鬲乇蹖 亘丕卮賲責 亘毓丿卮 賮讴乇 讴乇丿賲: 丕賲丕 禺亘 賮賯胤 丿丕乇丿 噩賲賱賴 蹖 賳蹖趩賴 乇丕 亘丕夭诏賵 賲蹖 讴賳丿 讴賴 賴乇趩賴 賲丕 乇丕 賳賲蹖 讴購卮丿貙 賯賵蹖 鬲乇賲丕賳 賲蹖 讴賳丿. 亘毓丿 丕夭 丕蹖賳 丕鬲賮丕賯貙 丨丕賱丕 賲丿鬲 賴丕爻鬲 讴賴 亘賴 賳馗乇賲 丕蹖賳 噩賲賱賴 蹖 賳睾夭 讴賲蹖 睾賱胤 丕賳丿丕夭 丕爻鬲. 禺蹖賱蹖 趩蹖夭賴丕 賴爻鬲 讴賴 賲丕乇丕 賳賲蹖 讴購卮丿貙 丕賲丕 鬲丕 丕亘丿 囟毓蹖賮 賲丕賳 賲蹖 讴賳丿
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December 27, 2014I was going to lazily steal the pithy expression "devastating" from the blurb on the front, but that would be an insult to a writer who makes such precise use of language himself. For what exactly does devastating mean? To lay waste. And in fact Mr. Barnes does quite the opposite. He builds. He builds metaphors, he builds connections, he builds bridges. He constructs a dizzying architecture of bold, he tells stories and flies balloons and peoples his pages with extraordinary characters and there is not one word that is extraneous to his central pillar of thought, that when you put two people together, sometimes it can work, and something new is made, the world is changed. "Then, at some point, sooner or later, for this reason or that, one of them is taken away. And what is taken away is greater than the sum of what was there. This may not be mathematically possible; but it is emotionally possible."
I read the third part of this exquisite collection with tears streaming down my face. I can only hope, I desperately hope, that practising his craft, that of turning his raw experience into a web of words, has been, for Mr. Barnes, in some way, well, I will not use the trite word 'therapeutic' for ill he is not. Helpful. Beneficial, perhaps, can it be helpful to hold your pain up to the light and examine its every crack and fissure? Observe it from above, from the side, from below, does that steal a shade of its power to catch you unaware and knock you from your feet? I hope so. I hope so.
Read this. At the very least it will save you from crass mistakes when friends and colleagues are going through grief. And it will make you kinder to your spouse.
I read the third part of this exquisite collection with tears streaming down my face. I can only hope, I desperately hope, that practising his craft, that of turning his raw experience into a web of words, has been, for Mr. Barnes, in some way, well, I will not use the trite word 'therapeutic' for ill he is not. Helpful. Beneficial, perhaps, can it be helpful to hold your pain up to the light and examine its every crack and fissure? Observe it from above, from the side, from below, does that steal a shade of its power to catch you unaware and knock you from your feet? I hope so. I hope so.
Read this. At the very least it will save you from crass mistakes when friends and colleagues are going through grief. And it will make you kinder to your spouse.
April 23, 2022
讴鬲丕亘蹖 讴賴 丿賵爻鬲 賳丿丕卮鬲賲貙 鬲賲丕賲 卮賵丿.
倬蹖卮 丕夭 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 賴乇賲賵賯毓 賲蹖鈥屫堌ж池� 丿乇 禺氐賵氐 睾賲 賵 丕賳丿賵賴 讴鬲丕亘蹖 乇賵 亘賴 讴爻蹖 鬲賵氐蹖賴 讴賳賲 賵 蹖丕 丿乇 賱丨馗丕鬲蹖 讴賴 丕賳丿賵賴 亘乇 爻乇賲 丌賵丕乇 賵 賲爻鬲賵賱蹖 賲蹖卮丿 爻乇丕睾 讴鬲丕亘蹖 亘乇賲貙 賲蹖鈥屫辟佖� 爻乇丕睾 爻賵诏 賲丕丿乇 卮丕賴乇禺 賲爻讴賵亘 賵 禺賵丿賲 乇丕 亘賴 賯賱賲 賲爻讴賵亘 賲蹖鈥屫迟矩必� 賵 丕丨爻丕爻丕鬲蹖 乇賵 讴賴 丕夭 亘蹖丕賳卮 丿乇 丌賳 卮乇丕蹖胤 毓丕噩夭 亘賵丿賲 乇賵 丿乇 賲蹖丕賳 爻胤乇賴丕蹖 爻賵诏 賲丕丿乇 賲蹖噩爻鬲賲 ... 丨丕賱丕 亘丿賵賳 鬲乇丿蹖丿 賲蹖鈥屫堎嗁� 亘诏賲 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 噩賵賱蹖賳 亘丕乇賳夭 賴賲 賲蹖鬲賵賳賴 亘賴 禺賵亘蹖 丕蹖賮丕诏乇 賳賯卮蹖 亘丕卮賴 讴賴 丕夭 爻賵诏 賲丕丿乇 賲爻讴賵亘 倬蹖卮鬲乇 丕賳鬲馗丕乇 丿丕卮鬲賲. 蹖讴蹖 賵蹖跇诏蹖 賲賴賲 讴鬲丕亘 亘乇丕蹖 賲賳 丕蹖賳 亘賵丿 讴賴 賱丨賳 氐丕丿賯丕賳賴鈥屫й� 丿丕乇賴貙 丿乇爻鬲賴 讴賴 亘丕乇賳夭 賲毓鬲賯丿 亘賵丿賴 讴賴 蹖讴 丕賳丿賵賴 賴蹖趩 讴賲讴蹖 亘賴 丿乇讴 爻丕蹖乇 丕賳丿賵賴 賴丕 賳賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 丕賲丕 亘賴 诏賲丕賳賲 蹖讴 丕賳丿賵賴 蹖丕 賮賯丿丕賳 丕夭 賵蹖跇诏蹖鈥屬囏й屰� 亘乇禺賵乇丿丕乇賴 讴賴 賲蹖鬲賵賳賴 丿乇 丕賳丿賵賴 丿蹖诏乇丕賳 賴賲 賳賲賵丿 丿丕卮鬲賴 亘丕卮賴 賵 賳丨賵賴 賵 乇賵蹖讴乇丿 賲賵丕噩賴 卮丿賳 賲丕 亘丕 丕賵賳 賲賵賯毓蹖鬲 賵 賴賲匕丕鬲 倬賳丿丕乇蹖 賲丕 丕夭 丕蹖賳讴賴 丿蹖诏乇丕賳 賳蹖夭 趩賳蹖賳 賲賵賯毓蹖鬲蹖 乇丕 丕夭 爻乇 诏匕丕乇賳丿賴鈥屫з嗀� 賵 亘賴 毓亘丕乇鬲 丿蹖诏賴 丿乇 丕蹖賳 鬲噩乇亘賴 賲丕 鬲賳賴丕 賳亘賵丿賴貙 賳蹖爻鬲蹖賲 賵 丿乇 丌蹖賳丿賴 賳蹖夭 賳禺賵丕賴蹖賲 亘賵丿貙 卮丕蹖丿 丌爻鬲丕賳賴 鬲丨賲賱 賲丕 乇賵 鬲丕丨丿蹖 亘丕賱丕鬲乇 亘亘乇賴貙 鬲噩乇亘賴鈥� 丕賳丿賵賴蹖 讴賴 賯丿賲鬲卮 亘賴 賯丿賲鬲 毓賲乇 丌丿賲蹖賴 賵 賲禺鬲氐 賮乇丿 賵 夭賲丕賳 禺丕氐蹖 賳亘賵丿賴 賵 賳蹖爻鬲 賵 賱蹖讴賳 亘乇丕蹖 賴乇 賮乇丿 丕蹖賳 鬲噩乇亘賴 蹖讴鬲丕 賵 賲賳丨氐乇 亘賴 賮乇丿賴. 讴鬲丕亘 賲賲賱賵 毓亘丕乇鬲鈥屬囏й屰� 丿賵爻鬲 丿丕卮鬲賳蹖 賵 鬲丕賲賱 亘乇丕賳诏蹖夭賴. 讴鬲丕亘蹖賴 讴賴 丿賵爻鬲 丿丕乇賲 亘丕夭 賴賲 亘禺賵丕賳賲卮 賵 賴乇 丕夭诏丕賴蹖 丿乇 賲蹖丕賳 賵丕跇诏丕賳 賵 氐賮丨丕鬲卮 诏賲 亘卮賲.
February 10, 2019
Com o poder outorgado por Deus, o Homem sempre almejou conquistar todos os meios que Ele lhe ofertou. Desbravou os terrenos, iniciou a pr谩tica agr铆cola, descobriu o fogo e inventou a roda, que lhe permitiram ser o rei da Terra (e do Mar, com a t茫o fadada contribui莽茫o portuguesa nos Descobrimentos). Mas isso, n茫o chegava. O mundo subterr芒neo despertou a curiosidade, tanto pela conota莽茫o sombria que tem associado como pelas imagin谩rias riquezas que esconde. Mas a tarefa final, seria conquistar os ares, esse espa莽o vedado 脿s aves e aos anjos. H谩 a refer锚ncia de 脥caro, cuja ambi莽茫o conduziu a queimaduras de terceiro grau, os desenhos de Da Vinci, a ambi莽茫o de Baltasar Sete-S贸is e Blimunda Sete-Luas em accionar a sua passarola. Enfim, uma crendice disseminada de desfraldar a bandeira nos c茅us. E tudo tomou um rumo vertiginoso com as viagens de bal茫o.
Inspirado na ideia de liberdade conferida por um objecto a pairar no ar, Barnes apresenta uma tese sobre a ess锚ncia da vida - e da morte -, dividida em tr锚s actos, baseado nesses diferentes espa莽os tomados. Na primeira parte, descreve a pretens茫o da conquista de algo quase inating铆vel, cuja percep莽茫o 茅 melhorada com a dist芒ncia e a paralisa莽茫o do tempo. Na segunda, narra o assentar dos p茅s na terra, a aceita莽茫o de que, por muito que se pretenda encontrar a pe莽a que complete um puzzle, tal poder谩 n茫o passar de uma fantasia infundada pelo prazer que supera a emo莽茫o pretendida. Tudo culmina, na mais fant谩stica declara莽茫o de amor alguma vez lida, com uma alus茫o ao mito de Orfeu, intricadamente imiscu铆do com os conceitos de sofrimento, solid茫o, suic铆dio, solidariedade e saudade.
Cada palavra encaixa na outra e forma um descomunal flecha, magistralmente directa ao cora莽茫o. O autor 茅 um mestre na arte de ofertar ao leitor uma viagem de bal茫o por um mar id铆lico de palavras, onde a cada recanto o espera uma imagem inebriante merecedora de uma fotografia que possa eternizar esse momento glorioso. O design das edi莽玫es da Quetzal editora j谩 茅, por de mais, reconhecido mas esta capa 茅 sublime: os dentes de le茫o, t茫o livres como os bal玫es de ar quente, t茫o belos como o mais perfeito amor, t茫o fecundos como a mais pura da uni玫es e t茫o naturais como a morte. Esta foi uma leitura feita num f么lego, com um tremor inesgot谩vel pelo 锚xtase no estado mais puro, que a acompanha. Dela ficam frases que para sempre pretendo gravar na minha mente (e que reproduzo abaixo). Mas n茫o s茫o frases desconexas que lhe conferem a genialidade. Entre elas h谩 uma hist贸ria bem intrincada na outra, pairando no ar entre v谩rias escarpas da vida.
"Juntamos duas pessoas que ainda n茫o se tinham encontrado, e 脿s vezes o mundo transforma-se, outras vezes n茫o. Podem despenhar-se e arder, ou arder e despenhar-se." (p谩g. 35)
"Todas as hist贸rias de amor s茫o potenciais hist贸rias de dor. Se n茫o ao princ铆pio, depois. Se n茫o para um, para outro. 脌s vezes para ambos." (p谩g. 40)
"E n茫o estava enganado. Mas antes que a dor se instalasse, tinha tempo para se lamentar. Tinha entregado tudo, o melhor de si, e n茫o fora suficiente." (p谩g. 59)
"Cedo na vida, o mundo divide-se entre os que praticaram o sexo e os que n茫o o praticaram. Mais tarde, entre os que conheceram o amor e os que n茫o o conheceram. Mais tarde ainda (...) entre os que sofreram o luto e os que n茫o sofreram. Estas divis玫es s茫o absolutas; s茫o tr贸picos que atravessamos." (p谩g. 66)
"O facto de algu茅m estar morto pode querer dizer que n茫o est谩 vivo, mas n茫o quer dizer que n茫o exista." (p谩g. 95)
"O sonar da vida avaria-se e deixamos de poder saber a que dist芒ncia se situa o fundo do mar." (p谩g. 101)
Inspirado na ideia de liberdade conferida por um objecto a pairar no ar, Barnes apresenta uma tese sobre a ess锚ncia da vida - e da morte -, dividida em tr锚s actos, baseado nesses diferentes espa莽os tomados. Na primeira parte, descreve a pretens茫o da conquista de algo quase inating铆vel, cuja percep莽茫o 茅 melhorada com a dist芒ncia e a paralisa莽茫o do tempo. Na segunda, narra o assentar dos p茅s na terra, a aceita莽茫o de que, por muito que se pretenda encontrar a pe莽a que complete um puzzle, tal poder谩 n茫o passar de uma fantasia infundada pelo prazer que supera a emo莽茫o pretendida. Tudo culmina, na mais fant谩stica declara莽茫o de amor alguma vez lida, com uma alus茫o ao mito de Orfeu, intricadamente imiscu铆do com os conceitos de sofrimento, solid茫o, suic铆dio, solidariedade e saudade.
Cada palavra encaixa na outra e forma um descomunal flecha, magistralmente directa ao cora莽茫o. O autor 茅 um mestre na arte de ofertar ao leitor uma viagem de bal茫o por um mar id铆lico de palavras, onde a cada recanto o espera uma imagem inebriante merecedora de uma fotografia que possa eternizar esse momento glorioso. O design das edi莽玫es da Quetzal editora j谩 茅, por de mais, reconhecido mas esta capa 茅 sublime: os dentes de le茫o, t茫o livres como os bal玫es de ar quente, t茫o belos como o mais perfeito amor, t茫o fecundos como a mais pura da uni玫es e t茫o naturais como a morte. Esta foi uma leitura feita num f么lego, com um tremor inesgot谩vel pelo 锚xtase no estado mais puro, que a acompanha. Dela ficam frases que para sempre pretendo gravar na minha mente (e que reproduzo abaixo). Mas n茫o s茫o frases desconexas que lhe conferem a genialidade. Entre elas h谩 uma hist贸ria bem intrincada na outra, pairando no ar entre v谩rias escarpas da vida.
"Juntamos duas pessoas que ainda n茫o se tinham encontrado, e 脿s vezes o mundo transforma-se, outras vezes n茫o. Podem despenhar-se e arder, ou arder e despenhar-se." (p谩g. 35)
"Todas as hist贸rias de amor s茫o potenciais hist贸rias de dor. Se n茫o ao princ铆pio, depois. Se n茫o para um, para outro. 脌s vezes para ambos." (p谩g. 40)
"E n茫o estava enganado. Mas antes que a dor se instalasse, tinha tempo para se lamentar. Tinha entregado tudo, o melhor de si, e n茫o fora suficiente." (p谩g. 59)
"Cedo na vida, o mundo divide-se entre os que praticaram o sexo e os que n茫o o praticaram. Mais tarde, entre os que conheceram o amor e os que n茫o o conheceram. Mais tarde ainda (...) entre os que sofreram o luto e os que n茫o sofreram. Estas divis玫es s茫o absolutas; s茫o tr贸picos que atravessamos." (p谩g. 66)
"O facto de algu茅m estar morto pode querer dizer que n茫o est谩 vivo, mas n茫o quer dizer que n茫o exista." (p谩g. 95)
"O sonar da vida avaria-se e deixamos de poder saber a que dist芒ncia se situa o fundo do mar." (p谩g. 101)
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February 24, 2021丨丿賵丿 賷賰 賲丕賴 倬賷卮貙賵賯鬲賷 賰賴 賮賰乇 賲賷賰乇丿賲 賵賯鬲 "丿乇賰 賰乇丿賳" 賵 "倬匕賷乇賮鬲賳" 丕賳丿賵賴賷 賴爻鬲 賰賴 丿賵 卮亘 賯亘賱卮 丕夭 賳丕賰噩丕 丌賵丕乇 卮丿賴 亘賵丿 乇賵 夭賳丿诏賷賲貙 賷賰 氐亘丨 爻乇丿 丿賵爻鬲 賳丿丕卮鬲賳賷 乇賮鬲賲 賵 丕賷賳 賰鬲丕亘 乇賵 禺乇賷丿賲...卮乇賵毓 賰乇丿賲 亘賴 禺賵賳丿賳
氐賮丨賴 賷 佟侑:
"丿賵 趩賷夭 乇丕 賰賴 鬲丕 丨丕賱丕 賰賳丕乇 賴賲 賯乇丕乇 賳诏乇賮鬲賴 丕賳丿 賰賳丕乇 賴賲 賲賷 诏匕丕乇賷丿.賵 噩賴丕賳 鬲睾賷賷乇 賲賷賰賳丿.丕丨鬲賲丕賱丕賸 賰爻賷 丌賳 賱丨馗賴 鬲賵噩賴賷 賳賲賷賰賳丿貙丕賲丕 賲賴賲 賳賷爻鬲.亘賴 賴乇丨丕賱 噩賴丕賳 毓賵囟 卮丿賴 丿賷诏乇."
亘丕 禺賵丿賲 賮賰乇 賰乇丿賲 賰賴 趩賴 毓丕賱賷貙趩賯丿乇 賯乇丕乇賴 丕賷賳 賰鬲丕亘 "賰賲賰賲 賰賳賴" 賰賴 亘倬匕賷乇賲 鬲賲丕賲 噩夭卅賷丕鬲貙禺丕胤乇丕鬲 賵 丨鬲賷 毓丕丿鬲 賴丕賷 佟佗贍贍 乇賵夭 诏匕卮鬲賴 賷 夭賳丿诏賷賲 鬲賲賵賲 卮丿賴 !
丨丕賱丕 賰賴 賷賰 賲丕賴 诏匕卮鬲賴 賵 亘乇毓賰爻 倬匕賷乇賮鬲賳貙賮賯胤 "賮乇丕乇" 賰乇丿賲 賵 "噩賳诏賷丿賲" 賰賴 "禺賵亘 亘丕卮賲 賵 禺賵亘 亘卮賲" 貙亘丕 丨丕賱賷 卮丕賷丿 亘丿鬲乇 丕夭 夭賲丕賳 卮乇賵毓 賰鬲丕亘貙 鬲氐賲賷賲 诏乇賮鬲賲 鬲賲賵賲卮 賰賳賲 .
"毓賰丕爻賷貙亘丕賱賵賳 爻賵丕乇賷貙毓卮賯 賵 丕賳丿賵賴" 丿爻鬲丕賵乇丿賷 亘乇丕賷 賲賳 賳丿丕卮鬲貙 亘賴 倬匕賷乇賮鬲賳 丕賳丿賵賴賲 賰賲賰賷 賳賰乇丿 貙亘賴 亘賴鬲乇 卮丿賳 丨丕賱賲 賴賲 賴賲賷賳胤賵乇.
丨賯賷賯鬲 丕賷賳賴 賴乇 丕賳丿賵賴賷 卮禺氐賷鬲 禺賵丿卮賵 丿丕乇賴貙 丕賳丿賵賴 噩賵賱賷賳 亘丕乇賳夭 賳鬲賷噩賴 賷 賲乇诏 賴賲爻乇賷 賴爻鬲 賰賴 伲贍 爻丕賱 毓丕卮賯丕賳賴 丿乇 賰賳丕乇卮 夭賳丿诏賷 賰乇丿賴 賵 賲鬲賮丕賵鬲賴 亘丕 丕賳丿賵賴賷 賰賴 鬲賵兀賲 亘丕 禺卮賲 賵 丿賱禺賵乇賷 賴爻鬲 賵 賲乇诏 毓丕賲賱 賮賯丿丕賳 賳賷爻鬲!
賴賲賷賳胤賵乇 噩賳爻 丕賳丿賵賴 賽 佴佗 爻丕賱诏賷 賲鬲賮丕賵鬲賴 亘丕 丕賳丿賵賴賽 佗伲 爻丕賱诏賷 !
亘丕賱胤亘毓 賷賰 賳爻禺賴 賷 賷賰爻丕賳 亘乇丕賷 "倬匕賷乇卮" 賵 鬲氐賲賷賲 诏賷乇賷 趩胤賵乇賷 "丿爻鬲 賵 倬賳噩賴 賳乇賲 賰乇丿賳" 亘丕 丕賷賳 丕賳丿賵賴 賴丕 賳賲賷鬲賵賳賴 賵噩賵丿 丿丕卮鬲賴 亘丕卮賴 丨鬲賷 丕诏賴 賴乇丿賵 夭丕賷賷丿賴 賷 毓卮賯 賵 賮賯丿丕賳 賲丨亘賵亘 亘丕卮賴.
氐賮丨賴 賷 佟侑:
"丿賵 趩賷夭 乇丕 賰賴 鬲丕 丨丕賱丕 賰賳丕乇 賴賲 賯乇丕乇 賳诏乇賮鬲賴 丕賳丿 賰賳丕乇 賴賲 賲賷 诏匕丕乇賷丿.賵 噩賴丕賳 鬲睾賷賷乇 賲賷賰賳丿.丕丨鬲賲丕賱丕賸 賰爻賷 丌賳 賱丨馗賴 鬲賵噩賴賷 賳賲賷賰賳丿貙丕賲丕 賲賴賲 賳賷爻鬲.亘賴 賴乇丨丕賱 噩賴丕賳 毓賵囟 卮丿賴 丿賷诏乇."
亘丕 禺賵丿賲 賮賰乇 賰乇丿賲 賰賴 趩賴 毓丕賱賷貙趩賯丿乇 賯乇丕乇賴 丕賷賳 賰鬲丕亘 "賰賲賰賲 賰賳賴" 賰賴 亘倬匕賷乇賲 鬲賲丕賲 噩夭卅賷丕鬲貙禺丕胤乇丕鬲 賵 丨鬲賷 毓丕丿鬲 賴丕賷 佟佗贍贍 乇賵夭 诏匕卮鬲賴 賷 夭賳丿诏賷賲 鬲賲賵賲 卮丿賴 !
丨丕賱丕 賰賴 賷賰 賲丕賴 诏匕卮鬲賴 賵 亘乇毓賰爻 倬匕賷乇賮鬲賳貙賮賯胤 "賮乇丕乇" 賰乇丿賲 賵 "噩賳诏賷丿賲" 賰賴 "禺賵亘 亘丕卮賲 賵 禺賵亘 亘卮賲" 貙亘丕 丨丕賱賷 卮丕賷丿 亘丿鬲乇 丕夭 夭賲丕賳 卮乇賵毓 賰鬲丕亘貙 鬲氐賲賷賲 诏乇賮鬲賲 鬲賲賵賲卮 賰賳賲 .
"毓賰丕爻賷貙亘丕賱賵賳 爻賵丕乇賷貙毓卮賯 賵 丕賳丿賵賴" 丿爻鬲丕賵乇丿賷 亘乇丕賷 賲賳 賳丿丕卮鬲貙 亘賴 倬匕賷乇賮鬲賳 丕賳丿賵賴賲 賰賲賰賷 賳賰乇丿 貙亘賴 亘賴鬲乇 卮丿賳 丨丕賱賲 賴賲 賴賲賷賳胤賵乇.
丨賯賷賯鬲 丕賷賳賴 賴乇 丕賳丿賵賴賷 卮禺氐賷鬲 禺賵丿卮賵 丿丕乇賴貙 丕賳丿賵賴 噩賵賱賷賳 亘丕乇賳夭 賳鬲賷噩賴 賷 賲乇诏 賴賲爻乇賷 賴爻鬲 賰賴 伲贍 爻丕賱 毓丕卮賯丕賳賴 丿乇 賰賳丕乇卮 夭賳丿诏賷 賰乇丿賴 賵 賲鬲賮丕賵鬲賴 亘丕 丕賳丿賵賴賷 賰賴 鬲賵兀賲 亘丕 禺卮賲 賵 丿賱禺賵乇賷 賴爻鬲 賵 賲乇诏 毓丕賲賱 賮賯丿丕賳 賳賷爻鬲!
賴賲賷賳胤賵乇 噩賳爻 丕賳丿賵賴 賽 佴佗 爻丕賱诏賷 賲鬲賮丕賵鬲賴 亘丕 丕賳丿賵賴賽 佗伲 爻丕賱诏賷 !
亘丕賱胤亘毓 賷賰 賳爻禺賴 賷 賷賰爻丕賳 亘乇丕賷 "倬匕賷乇卮" 賵 鬲氐賲賷賲 诏賷乇賷 趩胤賵乇賷 "丿爻鬲 賵 倬賳噩賴 賳乇賲 賰乇丿賳" 亘丕 丕賷賳 丕賳丿賵賴 賴丕 賳賲賷鬲賵賳賴 賵噩賵丿 丿丕卮鬲賴 亘丕卮賴 丨鬲賷 丕诏賴 賴乇丿賵 夭丕賷賷丿賴 賷 毓卮賯 賵 賮賯丿丕賳 賲丨亘賵亘 亘丕卮賴.
October 28, 2023
4.5
There are two essential kinds of loneliness: that of not having found someone to love, and that of having been deprived of the one you did love.
Written as a series of essays, Levels of Life is oddly enough partly about ballooning and photography in the 19-th century, partly a fictionalized love affair between the adventurous Colonel Burnaby and the French actress Sarah Bernhardt.
Every love story is a potential grief story. If not at first, then later. If not for one, then for the other. Sometimes for both.
And partly a memoir of love, loss and grief.
You put together two people who have not been put together before; and sometimes the world is changed, sometimes not. They may crash and burn, or burn and crash. But sometimes, something new is made, and then the world is changed. Together, in that first exaltation, that first roaring sense of uplift, they are greater than their two separate selves. Together, they see further, and they see more clearly.
There are two essential kinds of loneliness: that of not having found someone to love, and that of having been deprived of the one you did love.
Written as a series of essays, Levels of Life is oddly enough partly about ballooning and photography in the 19-th century, partly a fictionalized love affair between the adventurous Colonel Burnaby and the French actress Sarah Bernhardt.
Every love story is a potential grief story. If not at first, then later. If not for one, then for the other. Sometimes for both.
And partly a memoir of love, loss and grief.
You put together two people who have not been put together before; and sometimes the world is changed, sometimes not. They may crash and burn, or burn and crash. But sometimes, something new is made, and then the world is changed. Together, in that first exaltation, that first roaring sense of uplift, they are greater than their two separate selves. Together, they see further, and they see more clearly.
November 4, 2024
讴鬲丕亘蹖 讴賴 賮氐賱鈥屬囏й� 丕賵賱卮 氐亘乇 丕蹖賵亘 賵 賮氐賱鈥屬囏й� 丕賳鬲賴丕蹖蹖 賲乇丿 讴賴賳 賵 诏丕賵賳乇 賲蹖鈥屫堌з囏� 趩乇丕責 趩賵賳 賮氐賱 丕賵賱 亘丕蹖丿 賲賳鬲馗乇 亘賲賵賳蹖丿 讴賴 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 趩蹖 賲蹖鈥屭囏� 賲賳 讴噩丕賲貙 丿丕爻鬲丕賳 讴噩丕爻鬲責 賵 亘賴 賲乇賵乇 丿乇 丕亘鬲丿丕 亘賴 丕蹖賳 亘乇賲蹖鈥屫堌臂屬� 讴賴 讴丕卮 賴蹖趩賵賯鬲 亘賴 丕蹖賳 賲丨鬲賵丕 賳賲蹖鈥屫必驰屫屬�.
亘禺卮 丿賵賲 讴鬲丕亘 睾賲 讴卮賳丿賴鈥屫й� 丿丕乇賴 賲孬賱 丕蹖賳 賲蹖鈥屬呝堎嗁� 讴賴 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 蹖賴 趩丕賯賵 鬲蹖夭 乇賵 鬲丕 丿爻鬲賴 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 鬲賵 賯賱亘 賵 丕丨爻丕爻丕鬲賵賳 乇賵 丕賵賳 乇賵 賲蹖鈥屭嗀必堎嗁� 亘賴 禺氐賵氐 丕诏乇 讴爻蹖 讴賴 禺蹖賱蹖 禺蹖賱蹖 丕乇鬲亘丕胤 毓賲蹖賯蹖 丿丕卮鬲賴 亘丕卮蹖丿 丿蹖诏賴 賳賮爻 賳讴卮賴 丕賲丕 亘賴 賳馗乇 賲賳 亘丿鬲乇蹖賳 賯爻賲鬲卮 丕蹖賳 讴賴 亘丕 禺賵賳丿賳卮賵賳 蹖賴 丕爻鬲乇爻 賵 丕囟胤乇丕亘蹖 賲蹖鈥屭屫臂� 讴賴 丌乇賴 蹖賴 乇賵夭蹖 賴賲 丕蹖賳 丕鬲賮丕賯丕鬲 賵 丕蹖賳 賱丨丕馗丕鬲 乇賵 鬲賵 賴賲 禺賵丕賴蹖 丿丕卮鬲 賵 丕噩鬲賳丕亘鈥屬嗀з矩佰屫辟� 賵 丕蹖賳 禺蹖賱蹖 爻禺鬲 賵 鬲賱禺賴!
丨賯蹖賯鬲丕 亘丕 丕蹖賳鈥屭┵� 賴乇 乇賵夭 亘蹖丿丕乇 賲蹖卮賲 趩賳蹖賳 丕爻鬲乇爻蹖 丿丕乇賲 賵 禺賵賳丿賳 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 鬲卮丿蹖丿卮 讴乇丿 亘丕夭 賴賲 丿賱賲 賳賲蹖丕丿 丕賲鬲蹖丕夭 讴賲蹖 亘丿賲 亘賴卮
趩賵賳 丿乇 毓蹖賳 鬲賱禺蹖貙 賲賴賲賵賳 賲鬲賳 丿賱鈥屬嗀篡屬嗃� 賲蹖卮蹖 :)
倬.賳: 亘丕 丕蹖賳鈥屭┵� 丕爻賲 丕氐賱蹖 讴鬲丕亘 賮乇爻賳诏鈥屬囏� 亘丕 賳丕賲蹖 讴賴 賲鬲乇噩賲 亘乇丕卮 丕賳鬲禺丕亘 讴乇丿賴 賮乇賯 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 賵賱蹖 亘丕鬲賵噩賴 亘賴 賲賵囟賵毓丕鬲 賲胤乇丨 卮丿賴 丕賵賳賯丿乇 賴賲 丕賳鬲禺丕亘 爻禺蹖賮 賵 亘丿蹖 賳亘賵丿賴!
倬丕蹖丕賳: 蹖丕夭丿賴賲 丌亘丕賳鈥屬呚з� 郾鄞郯鄢
亘禺卮 丿賵賲 讴鬲丕亘 睾賲 讴卮賳丿賴鈥屫й� 丿丕乇賴 賲孬賱 丕蹖賳 賲蹖鈥屬呝堎嗁� 讴賴 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 蹖賴 趩丕賯賵 鬲蹖夭 乇賵 鬲丕 丿爻鬲賴 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 鬲賵 賯賱亘 賵 丕丨爻丕爻丕鬲賵賳 乇賵 丕賵賳 乇賵 賲蹖鈥屭嗀必堎嗁� 亘賴 禺氐賵氐 丕诏乇 讴爻蹖 讴賴 禺蹖賱蹖 禺蹖賱蹖 丕乇鬲亘丕胤 毓賲蹖賯蹖 丿丕卮鬲賴 亘丕卮蹖丿 丿蹖诏賴 賳賮爻 賳讴卮賴 丕賲丕 亘賴 賳馗乇 賲賳 亘丿鬲乇蹖賳 賯爻賲鬲卮 丕蹖賳 讴賴 亘丕 禺賵賳丿賳卮賵賳 蹖賴 丕爻鬲乇爻 賵 丕囟胤乇丕亘蹖 賲蹖鈥屭屫臂� 讴賴 丌乇賴 蹖賴 乇賵夭蹖 賴賲 丕蹖賳 丕鬲賮丕賯丕鬲 賵 丕蹖賳 賱丨丕馗丕鬲 乇賵 鬲賵 賴賲 禺賵丕賴蹖 丿丕卮鬲 賵 丕噩鬲賳丕亘鈥屬嗀з矩佰屫辟� 賵 丕蹖賳 禺蹖賱蹖 爻禺鬲 賵 鬲賱禺賴!
丨賯蹖賯鬲丕 亘丕 丕蹖賳鈥屭┵� 賴乇 乇賵夭 亘蹖丿丕乇 賲蹖卮賲 趩賳蹖賳 丕爻鬲乇爻蹖 丿丕乇賲 賵 禺賵賳丿賳 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 鬲卮丿蹖丿卮 讴乇丿 亘丕夭 賴賲 丿賱賲 賳賲蹖丕丿 丕賲鬲蹖丕夭 讴賲蹖 亘丿賲 亘賴卮
趩賵賳 丿乇 毓蹖賳 鬲賱禺蹖貙 賲賴賲賵賳 賲鬲賳 丿賱鈥屬嗀篡屬嗃� 賲蹖卮蹖 :)
倬.賳: 亘丕 丕蹖賳鈥屭┵� 丕爻賲 丕氐賱蹖 讴鬲丕亘 賮乇爻賳诏鈥屬囏� 亘丕 賳丕賲蹖 讴賴 賲鬲乇噩賲 亘乇丕卮 丕賳鬲禺丕亘 讴乇丿賴 賮乇賯 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 賵賱蹖 亘丕鬲賵噩賴 亘賴 賲賵囟賵毓丕鬲 賲胤乇丨 卮丿賴 丕賵賳賯丿乇 賴賲 丕賳鬲禺丕亘 爻禺蹖賮 賵 亘丿蹖 賳亘賵丿賴!
倬丕蹖丕賳: 蹖丕夭丿賴賲 丌亘丕賳鈥屬呚з� 郾鄞郯鄢
November 26, 2013
The Loss of Depth, Julian Barnes's meditative essay on grief, rocked me to my core. It is the final of three "levels of life" he explores in this slim book and is, by itself, the reason for reading this book. In contrast, I felt very detached from the first two essays, which were interesting but rather chilly expositions on ballooning, obsession and Sarah Bernhardt.
But the exploration of grief. Jesus. It hurt. It's as raw and brutal as any personal essay I have read. It chills me to think there may come a time when I will need to reread it, for direction, solace and understanding, but I will tuck this book onto my shelf and try to forget it's there. And know I never will.
But the exploration of grief. Jesus. It hurt. It's as raw and brutal as any personal essay I have read. It chills me to think there may come a time when I will need to reread it, for direction, solace and understanding, but I will tuck this book onto my shelf and try to forget it's there. And know I never will.
March 6, 2023
鈥淭he heart of my life; the life of my heart.鈥�
The love, the grief, and the process of moving on or being unable to move on make this memoir different from the rest. Life and its meaning, before and after the loss of your better half, have been described so profoundly that the word grief seems very small in front of the loss.
鈥淏ecause love is the meeting point of truth and magic. Truth, as in photography; magic, as in ballooning.鈥�
The initial part of the book was where the author was trying to create a metaphor regarding the process of ballooning that seemed dull and stretched. But if you want to know or read about the depth of losing someone, then the ending part of the book is the treasure that you shouldn鈥檛 and mustn鈥檛 miss just because its first part seems a little boring.
As I mentioned above, the book鈥檚 ending is exceptional and deserves both five stars and my heart. But the ballooning part was so dull that I had to give this book three stars.
Still, for the ending, both five stars and my heart.
The love, the grief, and the process of moving on or being unable to move on make this memoir different from the rest. Life and its meaning, before and after the loss of your better half, have been described so profoundly that the word grief seems very small in front of the loss.
鈥淏ecause love is the meeting point of truth and magic. Truth, as in photography; magic, as in ballooning.鈥�
The initial part of the book was where the author was trying to create a metaphor regarding the process of ballooning that seemed dull and stretched. But if you want to know or read about the depth of losing someone, then the ending part of the book is the treasure that you shouldn鈥檛 and mustn鈥檛 miss just because its first part seems a little boring.
As I mentioned above, the book鈥檚 ending is exceptional and deserves both five stars and my heart. But the ballooning part was so dull that I had to give this book three stars.
Still, for the ending, both five stars and my heart.
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