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Beauty
A powerful meditation on beauty and body image from the author of Eggshell Skull.
You were either fit and trim or you weren't working hard enough. Your body was how you conveyed wealth and status to your peers, it was a personality trait, a symbol of goodness and values: an ethical ideal.
In recent decades women have made momentous progress fighting the patriarchy, yet they are held to ever-stricter, more punishing physical standards. Self-worth still plummets and eating disorders are more deadly for how easily they are dismissed.
In Beauty Bri Lee explores our obsession with thinness and asks how an intrinsically unattainable standard of physical 'perfection' has become so crucial to so many. What happens if you try to reach that impossible goal? Bri did try, and Beauty is what she learned from that battle: a gripping and intelligent rejection of an ideal that diminishes us all.
You were either fit and trim or you weren't working hard enough. Your body was how you conveyed wealth and status to your peers, it was a personality trait, a symbol of goodness and values: an ethical ideal.
In recent decades women have made momentous progress fighting the patriarchy, yet they are held to ever-stricter, more punishing physical standards. Self-worth still plummets and eating disorders are more deadly for how easily they are dismissed.
In Beauty Bri Lee explores our obsession with thinness and asks how an intrinsically unattainable standard of physical 'perfection' has become so crucial to so many. What happens if you try to reach that impossible goal? Bri did try, and Beauty is what she learned from that battle: a gripping and intelligent rejection of an ideal that diminishes us all.
160 pages, Paperback
First published November 5, 2019
34 people are currently reading
2,152 people want to read
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December 27, 2020
Content warning: eating disorder, self harm and fat phobia
Disclaimer: I know Bri Lee -I have socialised with her at writers festivals and have worked with her three times - in the capacity of writing for her magazine and speaking on panels with her. I have sat on this review for 10 months, as I know how important it is to support writing colleagues. But my work as an appearance activist, and also living with a facial difference and skin condition meant I didn’t want to stay silent on this. I also acknowledge my thin privilege and I’ve never experienced an eating disorder.
Beauty is an academic research project made accessible through writing it in a memoir style. It’s about Bri’s experience with an eating disorder and self harm, particularly after the release of Eggshell Skull. It was written as part of her Masters of Philosophy. It is well researched and the references are mainly literary rather than academic, and it’s very Introspective about her desire to achieve great things, and achieve her ideal weight.
While it is her own experience, the level of detail about her eating disorder and self harm is graphic - which I believe might not conform to eating disorder and mental health media guidelines. I am surprised to see the absence of eating disorder and mental health helplines in the book. These are important given how influential Bri is to young people.
The book also demonstrated fat-phobia - of herself and of others. Two particular sections stood out to me in relation to her fat phobia.
The first was when she asked her boyfriend ”Would you still love me even if I was really fat?�. He said yes. “This couldn’t be good�, she wrote.
I was shocked. Does she believe “really fat� people aren’t deserving of love? Does she?
I can’t help wonder if this is similar to asking if she became disabled, would she still be loveable?
Appearance and size doesn’t make people unloveable.
The other part was when “in the middle of [her] starvation routine], [she] was in a restaurant and a very large woman sat down at a table near [her]. Bri wrote about how beautifully dressed and groomed� this woman was, and observed her eating habits - dumplings and champagne. She wrote “from this information I determined she enjoyed life and was accustomed to doing precisely as she pleases. I liked that and I warmed to her immediately, but I also feared that if I too did exactly what I wanted I would end up big like her.�
She went on to grapple with the idea that by thinking that, she must dislike the woman, and believed if she was fat, she would respect herself less.
I understand this book contains her own experiences of an eating disorder, but it also sheds a light on privilege and her feelings about fat people. As well as writing two successful books, contributing to sexual abuse law reform in Queensland, appearing in the media and being a (now non practicing) lawyer, Bri has been a Sportsgirl model, and collaborated with other fashion brands. Shes spoken at prominent events, and featured in fashion magazines She’s very accomplished.
While her beauty and size privilege is not acknowledged in this book, she does acknowledge this privilege - and also education and class privilege in her talks - including one I participated in.
I was curious about why appearance diversity wasn’t mentioned, especially since those of us with diverse appearances like facial differences, skin conditions and disability experience a high level of discrimination and also struggle with self esteem.
Bri has been afforded many privileges in the media and in fashion (as have I to a lesser extent). This Masters thesis is also now a popular literary publication. I couldn’t help think though, as Bri was starving her body to be in a glossy magazine, and fearful of how she might be portrayed, myself and many others are constantly making noise for more appearance diverse people to be included in such magazines. I know so many people who would love similar media and fashion opportunities.
Beauty contained references to many publications and thought leaders in media and the beauty sphere, but the research was not intersectional. There was mention of talking to a woman of colour about her beauty standards. (Bri admits she was “deaf to this� - which is an ableist term).
I know Bri’s talent as a writer and speaker - and also her physical appearance (as she writes) - will ensure she will have a stellar career. I hope her future research and exposure to others� experience makes her work more intersectional and inclusive. And I hope Bri makes peace with her body soon - it has done so many great things, and will continue to do many more.
Find support:
Lifeline: 131114
Kid’s Helpline: 1800 55 1800
Butterfly Foundation: 1800 33 4673
Reach Out:
Heath at Every Size:
Disclaimer: I know Bri Lee -I have socialised with her at writers festivals and have worked with her three times - in the capacity of writing for her magazine and speaking on panels with her. I have sat on this review for 10 months, as I know how important it is to support writing colleagues. But my work as an appearance activist, and also living with a facial difference and skin condition meant I didn’t want to stay silent on this. I also acknowledge my thin privilege and I’ve never experienced an eating disorder.
Beauty is an academic research project made accessible through writing it in a memoir style. It’s about Bri’s experience with an eating disorder and self harm, particularly after the release of Eggshell Skull. It was written as part of her Masters of Philosophy. It is well researched and the references are mainly literary rather than academic, and it’s very Introspective about her desire to achieve great things, and achieve her ideal weight.
While it is her own experience, the level of detail about her eating disorder and self harm is graphic - which I believe might not conform to eating disorder and mental health media guidelines. I am surprised to see the absence of eating disorder and mental health helplines in the book. These are important given how influential Bri is to young people.
The book also demonstrated fat-phobia - of herself and of others. Two particular sections stood out to me in relation to her fat phobia.
The first was when she asked her boyfriend ”Would you still love me even if I was really fat?�. He said yes. “This couldn’t be good�, she wrote.
I was shocked. Does she believe “really fat� people aren’t deserving of love? Does she?
I can’t help wonder if this is similar to asking if she became disabled, would she still be loveable?
Appearance and size doesn’t make people unloveable.
The other part was when “in the middle of [her] starvation routine], [she] was in a restaurant and a very large woman sat down at a table near [her]. Bri wrote about how beautifully dressed and groomed� this woman was, and observed her eating habits - dumplings and champagne. She wrote “from this information I determined she enjoyed life and was accustomed to doing precisely as she pleases. I liked that and I warmed to her immediately, but I also feared that if I too did exactly what I wanted I would end up big like her.�
She went on to grapple with the idea that by thinking that, she must dislike the woman, and believed if she was fat, she would respect herself less.
I understand this book contains her own experiences of an eating disorder, but it also sheds a light on privilege and her feelings about fat people. As well as writing two successful books, contributing to sexual abuse law reform in Queensland, appearing in the media and being a (now non practicing) lawyer, Bri has been a Sportsgirl model, and collaborated with other fashion brands. Shes spoken at prominent events, and featured in fashion magazines She’s very accomplished.
While her beauty and size privilege is not acknowledged in this book, she does acknowledge this privilege - and also education and class privilege in her talks - including one I participated in.
I was curious about why appearance diversity wasn’t mentioned, especially since those of us with diverse appearances like facial differences, skin conditions and disability experience a high level of discrimination and also struggle with self esteem.
Bri has been afforded many privileges in the media and in fashion (as have I to a lesser extent). This Masters thesis is also now a popular literary publication. I couldn’t help think though, as Bri was starving her body to be in a glossy magazine, and fearful of how she might be portrayed, myself and many others are constantly making noise for more appearance diverse people to be included in such magazines. I know so many people who would love similar media and fashion opportunities.
Beauty contained references to many publications and thought leaders in media and the beauty sphere, but the research was not intersectional. There was mention of talking to a woman of colour about her beauty standards. (Bri admits she was “deaf to this� - which is an ableist term).
I know Bri’s talent as a writer and speaker - and also her physical appearance (as she writes) - will ensure she will have a stellar career. I hope her future research and exposure to others� experience makes her work more intersectional and inclusive. And I hope Bri makes peace with her body soon - it has done so many great things, and will continue to do many more.
Find support:
Lifeline: 131114
Kid’s Helpline: 1800 55 1800
Butterfly Foundation: 1800 33 4673
Reach Out:
Heath at Every Size:
November 24, 2019
I hadn’t planned on reviewing this, because frankly I didn’t love it. But I think a conversation around the finer points and missed opportunities of this essay is important, so I would like to contribute to that.
I would have appreciated if Lee had written from an acknowledgement of her immense beauty privilege. Understandably, she has her own issues to deal with in this space. But at no point is there an in-depth acknowledgement of her white, able-bodied, straight, gender representation. There are a few thoughts thrown in on African-American women and the politics of hair, but it feels like an afterthought rather than something that was in the original thought process of the essay. As an Australian writer, a perspective on our own indigenous women would have been more fitting.
I would have preferred her to be the editor of a collection of essays on Beauty, with poc, trans, fat, disabled and other diverse voices speaking for themselves. Without a thought I can name 4-5 authors who would have been excellent contributors to an anthology piece (Carly Findlay, Claire G Coleman, Nakkiah Lui among others)
Additionally, the essay is really only an exploration of thinness as beauty and not everything else.
Beauty is a broad topic, and it is difficult for one person and her experience to cover everything that comes under that topic. Lee has never lived in a fat, black, disabled, trans, gay, or other body. She can’t know that experience. But she can speak to and give platform for those who have lived that experience, and are able to share that experience.
All this said, the discussion around thinness and beauty, and the pressures or social media and wider society on women and young girls is an important discussion to have. Lee tells her experience with mental illness and disordered eating with brevity and insight beyond her years. The essay is hugely personal, brave, reflective and seemingly cathartic. I hope it gave Lee the strength I felt she was looking for at the end of Eggshell Skull.
I’d be keen to reread upon final release, in the hopes that some of this is addressed. Thanks to my lovely local indie bookshop for the ARC in exchange for my thoughts.
I would have appreciated if Lee had written from an acknowledgement of her immense beauty privilege. Understandably, she has her own issues to deal with in this space. But at no point is there an in-depth acknowledgement of her white, able-bodied, straight, gender representation. There are a few thoughts thrown in on African-American women and the politics of hair, but it feels like an afterthought rather than something that was in the original thought process of the essay. As an Australian writer, a perspective on our own indigenous women would have been more fitting.
I would have preferred her to be the editor of a collection of essays on Beauty, with poc, trans, fat, disabled and other diverse voices speaking for themselves. Without a thought I can name 4-5 authors who would have been excellent contributors to an anthology piece (Carly Findlay, Claire G Coleman, Nakkiah Lui among others)
Additionally, the essay is really only an exploration of thinness as beauty and not everything else.
Beauty is a broad topic, and it is difficult for one person and her experience to cover everything that comes under that topic. Lee has never lived in a fat, black, disabled, trans, gay, or other body. She can’t know that experience. But she can speak to and give platform for those who have lived that experience, and are able to share that experience.
All this said, the discussion around thinness and beauty, and the pressures or social media and wider society on women and young girls is an important discussion to have. Lee tells her experience with mental illness and disordered eating with brevity and insight beyond her years. The essay is hugely personal, brave, reflective and seemingly cathartic. I hope it gave Lee the strength I felt she was looking for at the end of Eggshell Skull.
I’d be keen to reread upon final release, in the hopes that some of this is addressed. Thanks to my lovely local indie bookshop for the ARC in exchange for my thoughts.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 23, 2023
Bri Lee has always fascinated me. Her ideas are smart and complex. I need to get some quotes from this as she’s captured my thoughts remarkably well!
Fast forward a month leaving my thoughts to settle, I couldn't place the section that discusses the negative aspects of social media and the internalisation of ones judgements of oneself. I could relate to this as I only use the one platform, GR, as the pressure to keep up and have things look perfect doesn't sit well. At all. And that's why I don't use them.
This book is serious, introspective and a complete opening up of one woman's experience with her body image, the medias part, social medias part, and our own part of placing so much pressure on ourselves.
Bri is brutally honest about her perceived failures, and then, her turning this around to become acceptance. No longer starving herself, she began to understand how she was playing into the mess of what women are 'meant' to look like.
Naive me (or do I just not care to follow the stuff that will just drive me nuts?) knew nothing of The Skinny Bitch Collective, the handpicked and selected few allowed to join. But then amusingly, I read that one of the author's favourte Instagram accounts called them out after an apalling and insensitive post, and withing hours the account went private, then wiped completely.
I'm glad the author deleted her fitness apps, stopped listening to her app reminders to exercise or check in, keeping in with the terrible angst she was putting herself through and gluing herself to the skinny ideal.
It made me sad to realise even a powerhouse such as she is, could still be misquouted in a weekend newspaper piece. She supposedly smelt like flowers (no scent had been sprayed on her) and she had no real control over the words attributed to the article.
I had run 5 kilometres that morning. My body was marvelous. My fists clenched at the thought of how many years I'd spent drinking the Kool Aid and nothing else. How greatness only ever looked like one thing, and I believed it, and perpetuated it.
Including further reading and resources, this a reflective and literary piece.
With thanks to Allen & Unwin for my advance review copy to read and review. Very late in coming as my daughter hijacked the copy, much to my approval.
Fast forward a month leaving my thoughts to settle, I couldn't place the section that discusses the negative aspects of social media and the internalisation of ones judgements of oneself. I could relate to this as I only use the one platform, GR, as the pressure to keep up and have things look perfect doesn't sit well. At all. And that's why I don't use them.
This book is serious, introspective and a complete opening up of one woman's experience with her body image, the medias part, social medias part, and our own part of placing so much pressure on ourselves.
Bri is brutally honest about her perceived failures, and then, her turning this around to become acceptance. No longer starving herself, she began to understand how she was playing into the mess of what women are 'meant' to look like.
Naive me (or do I just not care to follow the stuff that will just drive me nuts?) knew nothing of The Skinny Bitch Collective, the handpicked and selected few allowed to join. But then amusingly, I read that one of the author's favourte Instagram accounts called them out after an apalling and insensitive post, and withing hours the account went private, then wiped completely.
I'm glad the author deleted her fitness apps, stopped listening to her app reminders to exercise or check in, keeping in with the terrible angst she was putting herself through and gluing herself to the skinny ideal.
It made me sad to realise even a powerhouse such as she is, could still be misquouted in a weekend newspaper piece. She supposedly smelt like flowers (no scent had been sprayed on her) and she had no real control over the words attributed to the article.
I had run 5 kilometres that morning. My body was marvelous. My fists clenched at the thought of how many years I'd spent drinking the Kool Aid and nothing else. How greatness only ever looked like one thing, and I believed it, and perpetuated it.
Including further reading and resources, this a reflective and literary piece.
With thanks to Allen & Unwin for my advance review copy to read and review. Very late in coming as my daughter hijacked the copy, much to my approval.
February 8, 2020
As a fat woman, this was a tough book to read.
It’s been a couple of weeks since I read Beauty and I have been trying to think of ways to eloquently express my feelings about Lee’s book.
It’s always difficult to not enjoy a book written by a writer you really admire, even more so when it’s Lee’s own story.
I really enjoyed Eggshell Skull and I was looking forward to reading more about Lee’s relationship with her body. I was super aware, before reading, that Lee lives in a thin body, is white, able-bodied (and like other reviewers - was a little disappointed there was no acknowledgement of beauty privilege) and it would be difficult for me, as a fat woman, to identify with Lee’s struggles.
This is not to me saying her experiences are less valid - eating disorders and body dysmorphia affect people of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, genders etc. I completely empathise with Lee as I know what it’s like to be at war with your body.
As a fat woman, trying to exist in a fatphobic world, it was hard to read. It included detailed information about methods of weight loss and several mentions of actual weights. There was no content warning, no contact information for eating disorder / mental illness supports nor was there any reference to how Lee went about getting support for her eating disorder. On that note, if you are struggling with an eating disorder and are in Australia, please reach out to the Butterfly Foundation.
For an essay about ‘Beauty�, I was disappointed that the main focus was on thinness as beauty and not anything else. I would have love to see Lee dive into this deeper by using her privilege and voice to speak to and give platform to more diverse voices - fat people, trans people, people of colour, disabled people.
I acknowledge that it does take courage to put this out into the world, to seek help when you need it and thank you to Bri for sharing her story - I truly hope you are able to find some peace 💕
It’s been a couple of weeks since I read Beauty and I have been trying to think of ways to eloquently express my feelings about Lee’s book.
It’s always difficult to not enjoy a book written by a writer you really admire, even more so when it’s Lee’s own story.
I really enjoyed Eggshell Skull and I was looking forward to reading more about Lee’s relationship with her body. I was super aware, before reading, that Lee lives in a thin body, is white, able-bodied (and like other reviewers - was a little disappointed there was no acknowledgement of beauty privilege) and it would be difficult for me, as a fat woman, to identify with Lee’s struggles.
This is not to me saying her experiences are less valid - eating disorders and body dysmorphia affect people of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, genders etc. I completely empathise with Lee as I know what it’s like to be at war with your body.
As a fat woman, trying to exist in a fatphobic world, it was hard to read. It included detailed information about methods of weight loss and several mentions of actual weights. There was no content warning, no contact information for eating disorder / mental illness supports nor was there any reference to how Lee went about getting support for her eating disorder. On that note, if you are struggling with an eating disorder and are in Australia, please reach out to the Butterfly Foundation.
For an essay about ‘Beauty�, I was disappointed that the main focus was on thinness as beauty and not anything else. I would have love to see Lee dive into this deeper by using her privilege and voice to speak to and give platform to more diverse voices - fat people, trans people, people of colour, disabled people.
I acknowledge that it does take courage to put this out into the world, to seek help when you need it and thank you to Bri for sharing her story - I truly hope you are able to find some peace 💕
November 11, 2019
3.5 Stars. Beauty by Bri Lee is her second Non-Fiction novel. I found this essay a bit depressing but also very personal. It made me glad that I no longer diet, exercise to the extreme or obsess over my weight, like I did for almost 20 years. Now I feel like I have more important things to focus on, even though I'm no longer thin, and feel like I'm a better role model to my teenage daughter. Thanks to Allen & Unwin for my ARC.
November 14, 2019
*
These are some of the arresting opening words offered by Bri Lee, the author of Beauty. Following on from Eggshell Skull, Beauty is an accompaniment to Eggshell Skull, but it can be read independent of its predecessor. Beauty is a book that I feel is much needed, almost vital. It opens up a discussion around the construction of beauty and body image. Relevant, timely and topical, Beauty is an essential read.
Beauty is a 150 page essay style formatted book that looks at our ideas of what lies at the heart of beauty. It is being fit and trim? It is feeling good inside? In Beauty, Bri Lee discusses body image in relation to status and wealth. She poses an important question, what is the ideal construction of beauty and body image? In this process, Bri Lee draws on her own experiences, and she ties in academic discourse around this tenuous subject matter. Within Beauty, Lee examines societal attitudes towards physical beauty standards. Lee also raises our attention to the rise in eating disorders, self-harm and mental illness in relation to punishing body image ideals. A critical examination into today’s quest for thinness, and the fact that this goal is far out of reach for so many women is considered within the pages of Beauty. The most profound realisation of Beauty is the need to reject these unattainable ideals before they diminish us.
I don’t often read or come across essay style books, but I appreciated Beauty, a 2019 Allen and Unwin publication from the acclaimed author of Eggshell Skull, Bri Lee. In the Acknowledgements section of Beauty, Bri Lee reveals that this essay was written as part of her MPhil in Creative Writing. Lee has received generous support on the way to publishing this book, which she graciously acknowledges. I feel that Beauty is a crucial and indispensable text, that should be read widely. I do hope that Beauty is circulated to both young and mature women, as well as men. It is a brief book size wise, but the brevity of the words and subject matter are profound.
I am in complete awe of Bri Lee after reading her previous book and memoir, Eggshell Skull. Beauty is a book that I feel is connected to Eggshell Skull, as some of the experiences Lee highlights in Beauty were also a part of the Eggshell Skull journey. However, Lee takes these experiences one step further and discusses the next stage of her life. The public scrutiny on her following the release of Eggshell Skull had a detrimental effect on Lee. This intense focus resulted in feelings of inadequacy in regards to body image, and it was the catalyst for Lee’s eating disorder, along with her gruelling diet routines. I could sympathise and relate to Lee a great deal. The honest, frank and often raw tone to this book holds significant emotional impact.
Beauty is a powerful book that says so much in a compact format. Each word seems to hold great weight and Lee is on point the whole way through this book. Beauty casts a critical eye on our concept or beauty, as well as society’s construction of body image ideals. Drawing in academic discourse, the influence of social media and personal experiences, Lee’s book is timely and much needed. For me personally, Beauty presented an awakening experience, it enabled me to think critically about the way I view myself, my own opinions in relation to beauty and my expectations in relation to body image. This is a difficult topic, but Lee is brave and vehement in her approach, it is breath of fresh air!
I was particularly moved by this quote from Lee in the latter stages of Beauty’s journey.
‘I am beautiful at any weight, and me beauty isn’t what defines me anyway.�
Our relationship to beauty and body image has, is, and will continue to be precarious. Beauty by Bri Lee fills in the gaps so to speak, this book well and truly launches an open discourse on these vital topics, that bears significant weight on how we function in everyday life. Beauty is stimulating and highly recommended reading for all.
*Thanks extended to Allen & Unwin for providing a free copy of this book for review purposes.
Beauty is book #140 of the 2019 Australian Women Writers Challenge
These are some of the arresting opening words offered by Bri Lee, the author of Beauty. Following on from Eggshell Skull, Beauty is an accompaniment to Eggshell Skull, but it can be read independent of its predecessor. Beauty is a book that I feel is much needed, almost vital. It opens up a discussion around the construction of beauty and body image. Relevant, timely and topical, Beauty is an essential read.
Beauty is a 150 page essay style formatted book that looks at our ideas of what lies at the heart of beauty. It is being fit and trim? It is feeling good inside? In Beauty, Bri Lee discusses body image in relation to status and wealth. She poses an important question, what is the ideal construction of beauty and body image? In this process, Bri Lee draws on her own experiences, and she ties in academic discourse around this tenuous subject matter. Within Beauty, Lee examines societal attitudes towards physical beauty standards. Lee also raises our attention to the rise in eating disorders, self-harm and mental illness in relation to punishing body image ideals. A critical examination into today’s quest for thinness, and the fact that this goal is far out of reach for so many women is considered within the pages of Beauty. The most profound realisation of Beauty is the need to reject these unattainable ideals before they diminish us.
I don’t often read or come across essay style books, but I appreciated Beauty, a 2019 Allen and Unwin publication from the acclaimed author of Eggshell Skull, Bri Lee. In the Acknowledgements section of Beauty, Bri Lee reveals that this essay was written as part of her MPhil in Creative Writing. Lee has received generous support on the way to publishing this book, which she graciously acknowledges. I feel that Beauty is a crucial and indispensable text, that should be read widely. I do hope that Beauty is circulated to both young and mature women, as well as men. It is a brief book size wise, but the brevity of the words and subject matter are profound.
I am in complete awe of Bri Lee after reading her previous book and memoir, Eggshell Skull. Beauty is a book that I feel is connected to Eggshell Skull, as some of the experiences Lee highlights in Beauty were also a part of the Eggshell Skull journey. However, Lee takes these experiences one step further and discusses the next stage of her life. The public scrutiny on her following the release of Eggshell Skull had a detrimental effect on Lee. This intense focus resulted in feelings of inadequacy in regards to body image, and it was the catalyst for Lee’s eating disorder, along with her gruelling diet routines. I could sympathise and relate to Lee a great deal. The honest, frank and often raw tone to this book holds significant emotional impact.
Beauty is a powerful book that says so much in a compact format. Each word seems to hold great weight and Lee is on point the whole way through this book. Beauty casts a critical eye on our concept or beauty, as well as society’s construction of body image ideals. Drawing in academic discourse, the influence of social media and personal experiences, Lee’s book is timely and much needed. For me personally, Beauty presented an awakening experience, it enabled me to think critically about the way I view myself, my own opinions in relation to beauty and my expectations in relation to body image. This is a difficult topic, but Lee is brave and vehement in her approach, it is breath of fresh air!
I was particularly moved by this quote from Lee in the latter stages of Beauty’s journey.
‘I am beautiful at any weight, and me beauty isn’t what defines me anyway.�
Our relationship to beauty and body image has, is, and will continue to be precarious. Beauty by Bri Lee fills in the gaps so to speak, this book well and truly launches an open discourse on these vital topics, that bears significant weight on how we function in everyday life. Beauty is stimulating and highly recommended reading for all.
*Thanks extended to Allen & Unwin for providing a free copy of this book for review purposes.
Beauty is book #140 of the 2019 Australian Women Writers Challenge
November 14, 2019
*thank you to Allen & Unwin for an ARC of this book*
4 stars.
Such an interesting little book. Written as an essay, Bri Lee invites us into her mind and her experiences. Written with full honesty from her personal experiences this is one of those books that will give insight and hopefully turn you away from the world of distorted eating and the like. I absolutely love this cover and the size of the book (small square shape) makes it quite cute.
4 stars.
Such an interesting little book. Written as an essay, Bri Lee invites us into her mind and her experiences. Written with full honesty from her personal experiences this is one of those books that will give insight and hopefully turn you away from the world of distorted eating and the like. I absolutely love this cover and the size of the book (small square shape) makes it quite cute.
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January 11, 2020TL;DR: Proceed with caution with this book if you have any sensitivities regarding weight/size/body image.
"Any plan I made had to begin with a severing of that second, aspirational self, but how to drive Bri 2.0 out into the desert without feeling like a complete failure? To remove the potential for an 'after' photo I needed to accept the 'before' photo as the sole source of my self-esteem and identity."
Bri Lee is a beautiful writer, and the final third of this book (from which the above quote is lifted) is full of powerful insight, but as someone who - like Lee - has suffered from eating disorders, I found 'Beauty' far more triggering than I anticipated. In particular, I wish she hadn't enumerated her weight throughout the book. On pages 4-5, Lee lists her current weight ("smack bang in the middle of the 'normal' BMI range [but to] a determined young woman with dreams bigger than Brisbane, 'normal' wasn't great"), her aspirational/"skinny" weight, and her highest ("fat"?) weight, at which "my breasts had practically tumbled out of the cups of my bras because I refused to buy bigger ones and therefore accept my size."
In the eating disorder community, it's well established that enumerating weights invites comparison and competition (if a weight is named as thin, we - ie, people with predispositions to eating disorders - catalog it in our brains as desirable, if it is named as a number from which a person wants to lose weight, we wonder if we too need to be thinner), and as a brilliant, thoughtful young woman with a history of eating disorders, it was surprising to me that Lee did this. (See 'How To Disappear Completely' by Kelsey Osgood for an example of an eating disorder memoir that tackles these complications.)
It's possible that this book may only be triggering to people who have or have had eating disorders - I haven't noticed any mention of my concerns on the other reviews I've seen on ŷ. But the numbers and concerns Lee talks about are so typical and quotidian (indeed, it is the quotidian nature of women's self-starvation that makes the book important) that it is easy to imagine a young woman who shares Lee's perfectly slim and unremarkable weight and height reading the book and deciding to eat less tomorrow - just as I, a 30-something woman who has mostly recovered from their 20-something eating disorder, read about Bri's weight loss efforts and wondered if I wasn't failing myself by (mostly) accepting myself as I am rather than strictly minimising my food intake.
I "get" that the parts of the book I found triggering are a partly function of spending time inside the brain of someone with an eating disorder. (Although I still wish Lee hadn't enumerated her weight the way she did. Especially coming so early in the book, it was jarring.) And as I said above, the book does take a turn towards the end - I took some useful and empowering insights away from it.
And yet I wonder what the cumulative impact is when both Lee and I as a reader spent two thirds of the book trapped in self-loathing, and trapped in the idea that thinner is better, only to emerge to alternate possibilities at the very end.
"Any plan I made had to begin with a severing of that second, aspirational self, but how to drive Bri 2.0 out into the desert without feeling like a complete failure? To remove the potential for an 'after' photo I needed to accept the 'before' photo as the sole source of my self-esteem and identity."
Bri Lee is a beautiful writer, and the final third of this book (from which the above quote is lifted) is full of powerful insight, but as someone who - like Lee - has suffered from eating disorders, I found 'Beauty' far more triggering than I anticipated. In particular, I wish she hadn't enumerated her weight throughout the book. On pages 4-5, Lee lists her current weight ("smack bang in the middle of the 'normal' BMI range [but to] a determined young woman with dreams bigger than Brisbane, 'normal' wasn't great"), her aspirational/"skinny" weight, and her highest ("fat"?) weight, at which "my breasts had practically tumbled out of the cups of my bras because I refused to buy bigger ones and therefore accept my size."
In the eating disorder community, it's well established that enumerating weights invites comparison and competition (if a weight is named as thin, we - ie, people with predispositions to eating disorders - catalog it in our brains as desirable, if it is named as a number from which a person wants to lose weight, we wonder if we too need to be thinner), and as a brilliant, thoughtful young woman with a history of eating disorders, it was surprising to me that Lee did this. (See 'How To Disappear Completely' by Kelsey Osgood for an example of an eating disorder memoir that tackles these complications.)
It's possible that this book may only be triggering to people who have or have had eating disorders - I haven't noticed any mention of my concerns on the other reviews I've seen on ŷ. But the numbers and concerns Lee talks about are so typical and quotidian (indeed, it is the quotidian nature of women's self-starvation that makes the book important) that it is easy to imagine a young woman who shares Lee's perfectly slim and unremarkable weight and height reading the book and deciding to eat less tomorrow - just as I, a 30-something woman who has mostly recovered from their 20-something eating disorder, read about Bri's weight loss efforts and wondered if I wasn't failing myself by (mostly) accepting myself as I am rather than strictly minimising my food intake.
I "get" that the parts of the book I found triggering are a partly function of spending time inside the brain of someone with an eating disorder. (Although I still wish Lee hadn't enumerated her weight the way she did. Especially coming so early in the book, it was jarring.) And as I said above, the book does take a turn towards the end - I took some useful and empowering insights away from it.
And yet I wonder what the cumulative impact is when both Lee and I as a reader spent two thirds of the book trapped in self-loathing, and trapped in the idea that thinner is better, only to emerge to alternate possibilities at the very end.
May 29, 2020
Other reviewers have acknowledged Lee's privilege as a young, thin, able-bodied, white cisgender woman and while I don't think this privilege necessarily disqualifies her from writing an intelligent, original and humane essay on the subject of female beauty, her audience is somewhat diminished by her failure to interrogate her privilege in a rigourous way.
As a very fat woman I found this book incredibly alienating- it was clearly not written with readers like me in mind. If I try and think of an analogous experience, reading Beauty was like being re-immersed in the exclusionary 'fat talk' which acted as a kind of social lubricant between my thin and 'average' sized peers in my teens and early twenties. It's meant for other thin, beautiful women and reinforces normative discontent with one's body size and shape while also seeking affirmation.
Since the book does not seriously engage with fatness or fat activism I found the citation of Roxane Gay's Hunger at the end of the book kind of disingenuous. I couldn't help but think of Gay's humiliating and cruel treatment by the Australian press when she toured here in 2017 in parallel to Lee's experiences of glamorous photo shoots, etc. while promoting her excellent book Eggshell Skull.
This is not to detract from Lee's brave, intimate, and at times unflinching depiction of living with/recovering from an eating disorder or the beautiful writing. But the attempt to kind of force the book into a neat arc of reconciliation with her body rang false to me.
As a very fat woman I found this book incredibly alienating- it was clearly not written with readers like me in mind. If I try and think of an analogous experience, reading Beauty was like being re-immersed in the exclusionary 'fat talk' which acted as a kind of social lubricant between my thin and 'average' sized peers in my teens and early twenties. It's meant for other thin, beautiful women and reinforces normative discontent with one's body size and shape while also seeking affirmation.
Since the book does not seriously engage with fatness or fat activism I found the citation of Roxane Gay's Hunger at the end of the book kind of disingenuous. I couldn't help but think of Gay's humiliating and cruel treatment by the Australian press when she toured here in 2017 in parallel to Lee's experiences of glamorous photo shoots, etc. while promoting her excellent book Eggshell Skull.
This is not to detract from Lee's brave, intimate, and at times unflinching depiction of living with/recovering from an eating disorder or the beautiful writing. But the attempt to kind of force the book into a neat arc of reconciliation with her body rang false to me.
August 25, 2019
This was never going to overtake Eggshell Skull for me, and I went in knowing this but I was still a little disappointed by this at the beginning. I think it's best to go into this knowing it's a very limited discussion on the idea of 'beauty'. In fact, it could've just been titled 'Thin'. There were so many places I would've loved to have seen a mention to disability, but this is really Bri's personal experiences. But the latter half bought back similar feelings I had towards the end of Eggshell Skull—hope, empowerment and awe.
December 15, 2019
An essay on beauty which really reads like Bri Lee's processing of the disordered eating and mental ill health she revealed to herself and the world in Eggshell Skull. This is Bri's examination of the internal battles she has experienced around her own self image and the intertwined concept of beauty, rather than an all encompassing review of "Beauty" in today's world.
Bri's research and her own truth sharing is engaging and interesting. Reflections on older texts like The Beauty Myth, and today's social media influence are compelling and strong reminders for those of us who have read those.
But the first half, to me, lacked the insight into white middle-class privileged platform, and the intersectionality I had expected of such an examination on beauty standards.
One of the points of revelation for Bri came from the privilege of having been asked to sit for a photoshoot for a glamorous magazine, where she could pick the designer she could wear - these opportunities are not afforded to all published writers, nor successful women in their professional field. Bri's own beauty privilege, albeit acknowledging her disordered eating struggles, is not discussed (although she did mention at her book launch I attended).
The mental health clinician in me wonders if this essay is Bri laying out these thoughts and raw truths, and discussions of change in her own behaviour, as a record of progress. A way to keep herself accountable. I hope this means she continues to work, and examine and get the support she needs around these damaging self talk.
This was an interesting read after reading Clare Bowditch's Your Own Kind Of Girl - opposite ends of the body image self talk. I felt like I want to get Clare's book to Bri, for all the tools it shares about overcoming the destructive internal voice.
I know Bri is thinking of writing a similar examination on Brains, based again on the book launch conversations, and thus I hope she can find ways to expand her thoughts and research further, to perhaps an essay collection.
Bri's research and her own truth sharing is engaging and interesting. Reflections on older texts like The Beauty Myth, and today's social media influence are compelling and strong reminders for those of us who have read those.
But the first half, to me, lacked the insight into white middle-class privileged platform, and the intersectionality I had expected of such an examination on beauty standards.
One of the points of revelation for Bri came from the privilege of having been asked to sit for a photoshoot for a glamorous magazine, where she could pick the designer she could wear - these opportunities are not afforded to all published writers, nor successful women in their professional field. Bri's own beauty privilege, albeit acknowledging her disordered eating struggles, is not discussed (although she did mention at her book launch I attended).
The mental health clinician in me wonders if this essay is Bri laying out these thoughts and raw truths, and discussions of change in her own behaviour, as a record of progress. A way to keep herself accountable. I hope this means she continues to work, and examine and get the support she needs around these damaging self talk.
This was an interesting read after reading Clare Bowditch's Your Own Kind Of Girl - opposite ends of the body image self talk. I felt like I want to get Clare's book to Bri, for all the tools it shares about overcoming the destructive internal voice.
I know Bri is thinking of writing a similar examination on Brains, based again on the book launch conversations, and thus I hope she can find ways to expand her thoughts and research further, to perhaps an essay collection.
November 19, 2019
I can't remember when I figured out it was all bullshit. That's not to say I'm not immune to it. But I figured it was bullshit.
It? It's beauty.
What is beauty? It's unquantifiable when it comes to art, all in the eye of the beholder. And yet as women we exist in a world where there are very narrow idea of what is beautiful. It's thin, it's white, it's primped and plucked and photoshopped and it's sold sold sold to you. It's sold to you in the way the woman advertising "female" razors are already hairless in all the right places. It's make up and photoshop on "natural" faces. It's clothes that always fit the model but never quite fit you properly. In my teenage years it was waif thin and heroine chic. Now it's the Instagram artificial kardashian curves. In the time of internet instant access women are even more vulnerable to internalise these messages. To obsess over numbers and count calories and focus on goals that are unattainable and a lot of the time, frankly unhealthy.
Bri Lee dives into the pressure she felt as her memoir, the amazing was about to be published. The whirl of PR and photoshoots in which she wants to show the very best version of herself. But what is the very best version of herself? Is it really the self that restricts food intake so much that she feels lightheaded? The essay of Beauty is mostly brief but offers some great insights and probably is accessible enough to introduce to teens.
In the current climate it's probably something that needs to be repeated and read.
It? It's beauty.
What is beauty? It's unquantifiable when it comes to art, all in the eye of the beholder. And yet as women we exist in a world where there are very narrow idea of what is beautiful. It's thin, it's white, it's primped and plucked and photoshopped and it's sold sold sold to you. It's sold to you in the way the woman advertising "female" razors are already hairless in all the right places. It's make up and photoshop on "natural" faces. It's clothes that always fit the model but never quite fit you properly. In my teenage years it was waif thin and heroine chic. Now it's the Instagram artificial kardashian curves. In the time of internet instant access women are even more vulnerable to internalise these messages. To obsess over numbers and count calories and focus on goals that are unattainable and a lot of the time, frankly unhealthy.
Bri Lee dives into the pressure she felt as her memoir, the amazing was about to be published. The whirl of PR and photoshoots in which she wants to show the very best version of herself. But what is the very best version of herself? Is it really the self that restricts food intake so much that she feels lightheaded? The essay of Beauty is mostly brief but offers some great insights and probably is accessible enough to introduce to teens.
In the current climate it's probably something that needs to be repeated and read.
January 22, 2020
I do not compliment a friend who has lost weight. I do not put myself down in front of other people. I don't want to contribute to someone else's internalised self-loathing.
I went into this with really high expectations and a clear idea of what I thought this book was going to be about. I expected an essay on beauty culture, performative femininity, social media, toxic advertising culture, etc., and what I read was 100 pages of a weight-loss journal, and 50 pages on Aurelius' Meditations. Whilst Beauty was a well-written and reflective piece on beauty culture and the obsession surrounding the 'perfect body' that made me reflect on my own self-image, it was far different from what I was expecting to read, which is where my disappointment lies. I'm yet to read Eggshell Skull, but due to its huge reception and critical acclaim, I expected more from this essay.
Now when I see women who I believe look good, I tell them I think they have 'great style'. Style is learned and a joyous source of self-expression that often deliberately bucks certain traditional beauty trends.
I went into this with really high expectations and a clear idea of what I thought this book was going to be about. I expected an essay on beauty culture, performative femininity, social media, toxic advertising culture, etc., and what I read was 100 pages of a weight-loss journal, and 50 pages on Aurelius' Meditations. Whilst Beauty was a well-written and reflective piece on beauty culture and the obsession surrounding the 'perfect body' that made me reflect on my own self-image, it was far different from what I was expecting to read, which is where my disappointment lies. I'm yet to read Eggshell Skull, but due to its huge reception and critical acclaim, I expected more from this essay.
Now when I see women who I believe look good, I tell them I think they have 'great style'. Style is learned and a joyous source of self-expression that often deliberately bucks certain traditional beauty trends.
Read
January 14, 2025bri lee is one of australia's most exciting young writers - I've now read all her works. eggshell skull was excellent, who gets to be smart had moments of brilliance even if it lost steam by the end, and even though her fiction debut the work was a letdown this book - beauty, is the one I was most worried about reading. I knew the content would at best annoy me, at worst trigger me.
I think this is a very hard book to rate - and even to talk about. at the end of the day, a lot of it is taken from her personal experiences with anorexia and bulimia, and I think some of the reviews calling her 'self-absorbed' ect are missing the very point these essays are making which is that disordered eating, body image issues ect are much more about control and turning perfectionist tendencies inward than it really is about weight, looks and the good or bad things you have in your life. So I found her honesty and rawness to be somewhat impressive, she admits things in here you'd never ever pull out of me, and such harsh, uncomfortable self-criticism and voyeurism cannot have been easy to write, and the fact it made me extremely uncomfortable at times it probably a testament to how raw it was. I actually think Lee's willingness to admit to horrible thoughts, such as the scene in which she watches a woman eat dumplings and worries that if she did such a thing she may end up "fat like her", is sort of a strength of her writing. I think it's this brutal honesty that makes her non-fiction writing compelling.
And that said, I couldn't help but find this book frustrating at times. Lee's work is very inward-looking, and as soon as it became time to connect this theme to the larger topic of beauty, I found it fell flat. There was a certain lack of self-awareness that I, as someone whose definitely bigger than this author (literally, she gives you the numbers!), found annoying. Perhaps it's just hard for me to sympathise with someone whose entire body image issue is around having to buy size 10 clothes, oh the horror!!
And maybe I'm in the wrong for finding that frustrating - but I do think a book on a topic as wide as beauty should have a little bit more of an external focus. I don't think she adequately examined or covered the topic, aside from a few surface level gestures toward marketing, race and class and feminism and how this connects with the perpetuity of beauty culture and impacts different people in different ways.
Perhaps this book would have been more successful if it was written in a different way, pitched as more of a personal exploration with eating disorders rather than a larger analysis of beauty and how it connects to Bri Lee specifically.
So while I found moments of this interesting and compelling I'm not sure I would ever recommend it. It's not the best work on this theme, I don't think it's actually successful at analysing it's theme at all - and as a personal memoir, while I do admire her brutal honesty, I'm not sure if I exactly gained much out of reading it.
That said, will I be seated for her next book? Of course I will.
I think this is a very hard book to rate - and even to talk about. at the end of the day, a lot of it is taken from her personal experiences with anorexia and bulimia, and I think some of the reviews calling her 'self-absorbed' ect are missing the very point these essays are making which is that disordered eating, body image issues ect are much more about control and turning perfectionist tendencies inward than it really is about weight, looks and the good or bad things you have in your life. So I found her honesty and rawness to be somewhat impressive, she admits things in here you'd never ever pull out of me, and such harsh, uncomfortable self-criticism and voyeurism cannot have been easy to write, and the fact it made me extremely uncomfortable at times it probably a testament to how raw it was. I actually think Lee's willingness to admit to horrible thoughts, such as the scene in which she watches a woman eat dumplings and worries that if she did such a thing she may end up "fat like her", is sort of a strength of her writing. I think it's this brutal honesty that makes her non-fiction writing compelling.
And that said, I couldn't help but find this book frustrating at times. Lee's work is very inward-looking, and as soon as it became time to connect this theme to the larger topic of beauty, I found it fell flat. There was a certain lack of self-awareness that I, as someone whose definitely bigger than this author (literally, she gives you the numbers!), found annoying. Perhaps it's just hard for me to sympathise with someone whose entire body image issue is around having to buy size 10 clothes, oh the horror!!
And maybe I'm in the wrong for finding that frustrating - but I do think a book on a topic as wide as beauty should have a little bit more of an external focus. I don't think she adequately examined or covered the topic, aside from a few surface level gestures toward marketing, race and class and feminism and how this connects with the perpetuity of beauty culture and impacts different people in different ways.
Perhaps this book would have been more successful if it was written in a different way, pitched as more of a personal exploration with eating disorders rather than a larger analysis of beauty and how it connects to Bri Lee specifically.
So while I found moments of this interesting and compelling I'm not sure I would ever recommend it. It's not the best work on this theme, I don't think it's actually successful at analysing it's theme at all - and as a personal memoir, while I do admire her brutal honesty, I'm not sure if I exactly gained much out of reading it.
That said, will I be seated for her next book? Of course I will.
November 8, 2019
Once again, Bri Lee has written a brilliantly thought-provoking book. It’s quite different to Eggshell Skull, because this one is in essay form, and so doesn’t have the narrative structure like Eggshell Skull (just in case you were expecting that). I found it so interesting to read about a topic that has pervaded society so widely.
I found it really eye opening to hear a beautiful woman talk so openly about how she has always felt pressure to be a certain shape and has gone through periods where she’s disgusted with her own body. I’ve been through this, and I’m pretty sure nearly every woman reading this has had these destructive self-loathing thoughts. It was actually quite comforting to know that even Bri Lee, a woman I respect and admire, has had these thought patterns, and I’m not alone.
I especially loved the part where Bri said she has stopped telling women who look nice “Have you lost weight?� or “Have you been working out?� Instead, she says “I love your style�. Even this little change in our language is really impactful, and I’m going to take up this change in my language too.
Society still has a long way to come, but having books like this encouraging women to question these beauty standards is the first step.
I found it really eye opening to hear a beautiful woman talk so openly about how she has always felt pressure to be a certain shape and has gone through periods where she’s disgusted with her own body. I’ve been through this, and I’m pretty sure nearly every woman reading this has had these destructive self-loathing thoughts. It was actually quite comforting to know that even Bri Lee, a woman I respect and admire, has had these thought patterns, and I’m not alone.
I especially loved the part where Bri said she has stopped telling women who look nice “Have you lost weight?� or “Have you been working out?� Instead, she says “I love your style�. Even this little change in our language is really impactful, and I’m going to take up this change in my language too.
Society still has a long way to come, but having books like this encouraging women to question these beauty standards is the first step.
November 22, 2019
I REALLY want to love this book because I love the work that Bri Lee is doing, her writing, her speaking and advocacy.
I felt like this essay just scratches the surface of such a monumental topic; a topic I feel deserves more room than what is given here. I agree with other reviewers suggesting that this essay would be better placed in a collection, rather than a stand alone piece. Whilst at times this essay is deeply personal (which is one of the reasons why I love Bri's work) it also cites other texts constantly and I felt that it was overdone.
I also feel like Bri has really left out her own privilege in this essay. She fleetingly mentions how she doesn't want emerging authors to feel pressured to do 'body work' in order to make more book sales, in a way that she has used her face publicly to build a brand. However, isn't that the crux of this topic? This essay examines her self-image as a response to the success she is experiencing following the release of Eggshell Skull, but what about success as a response to her image? How has her image influenced her success? This whole conversation was absent in the essay, which for me, was a huge miss.
I felt like this essay just scratches the surface of such a monumental topic; a topic I feel deserves more room than what is given here. I agree with other reviewers suggesting that this essay would be better placed in a collection, rather than a stand alone piece. Whilst at times this essay is deeply personal (which is one of the reasons why I love Bri's work) it also cites other texts constantly and I felt that it was overdone.
I also feel like Bri has really left out her own privilege in this essay. She fleetingly mentions how she doesn't want emerging authors to feel pressured to do 'body work' in order to make more book sales, in a way that she has used her face publicly to build a brand. However, isn't that the crux of this topic? This essay examines her self-image as a response to the success she is experiencing following the release of Eggshell Skull, but what about success as a response to her image? How has her image influenced her success? This whole conversation was absent in the essay, which for me, was a huge miss.
November 12, 2019
I found this a little disappointing and was hoping for a bit more depth, new ideas and feminist oomph. I feel that the structure of the essay was a little off. For me, there was way too much focus and time spent on the period in which the author conformed willingly to upholding patriarchal beauty standards. It would have been both more empowering and informative to cover a little less of this period of her journey and instead focus more on her journey out of it. This focus on adhering to patriarchal norms really got me off side, and while I have empathy for her struggle, I found the first half of the book quite annoying. As a feminist who has done the hard work on subverting such beliefs in myself over decades, I couldn't understand the author's seemingly blind faith in such notions, especially as a self-professed feminist. This is really an extended essay and reads as such, offering only a brief survey of some of the literature on beauty and body image. I wanted more depth and more original concepts.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 17, 2019
2.5 stars
Thank you to Allen & Unwin for sending me an uncorrected proof of this book.
The author has written a short book (or essay) which covers weight and thinness more so than the broader topic of beauty.
Whilst I appreciated the author being raw and candid about her own experiences and she did provide some interesting food for thought, I felt her own thoughts were overshadowed by the excessive use of quoting other author’s works, particularly for such a slim volume.
Other views expressed were rather disingenuous such as where the author points out (where she had a rather elaborate photo shoot for her first book where she felt compelled to lose a few kilos so she would look great in the designer clothing she had been allowed to select) that she doesn’t want other emerging authors to think their books won’t sell if they don’t do the same “body work� (including designer clothes and styled hair etc), yet she does not address or explore whether or not this may indeed have contributed to her success or not.
I also feel that although the author attempted to throw in a bit of ‘diversity� by including a brief WOC perspective (focusing on hair), however at no time acknowledges her own privilege. While the WOC’s untamed hair is being viewed as ‘unprofessional� and ‘wild� (amongst other things), this is hardly on the same page as how the author is perceived whether she is 63kg or 60kg, which is likely not even noticeable to anyone other than her. I felt it was remiss to not address her own privilege and the whole section felt a bit like it was thrown in for good measure.
If this had been one part of a collection of essays, I think I would have appreciated it more but as a stand alone book I found it a bit disappointing. ⭐️⭐️.5 stars from me.
Thank you to Allen & Unwin for sending me an uncorrected proof of this book.
The author has written a short book (or essay) which covers weight and thinness more so than the broader topic of beauty.
Whilst I appreciated the author being raw and candid about her own experiences and she did provide some interesting food for thought, I felt her own thoughts were overshadowed by the excessive use of quoting other author’s works, particularly for such a slim volume.
Other views expressed were rather disingenuous such as where the author points out (where she had a rather elaborate photo shoot for her first book where she felt compelled to lose a few kilos so she would look great in the designer clothing she had been allowed to select) that she doesn’t want other emerging authors to think their books won’t sell if they don’t do the same “body work� (including designer clothes and styled hair etc), yet she does not address or explore whether or not this may indeed have contributed to her success or not.
I also feel that although the author attempted to throw in a bit of ‘diversity� by including a brief WOC perspective (focusing on hair), however at no time acknowledges her own privilege. While the WOC’s untamed hair is being viewed as ‘unprofessional� and ‘wild� (amongst other things), this is hardly on the same page as how the author is perceived whether she is 63kg or 60kg, which is likely not even noticeable to anyone other than her. I felt it was remiss to not address her own privilege and the whole section felt a bit like it was thrown in for good measure.
If this had been one part of a collection of essays, I think I would have appreciated it more but as a stand alone book I found it a bit disappointing. ⭐️⭐️.5 stars from me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 4, 2024
Lately, I've been thinking a lot (maybe too much) about how beauty alienates us from our present self. The concept of beauty changes the way we think about time and existing in our physical body. In this view, the notion that there is always a 'better', 'more beautiful', 'thinner' version of ourselves that we strive toward inherently means that we don't experience the physicality of the now in the way that we should. There is a future ideal of ourselves that doesn't exist yet in the present.
I don't want to be too dramatic, but I am actually going to discuss Marxist theories of labour now. Within his framework, Marx defines alienation as the separation from one's true self. Capitalism appropriates workers' labour, hence estranging them from their labour, and subsequently, themselves. Can we view beauty as a form of labour? I certainly think so. I recently saw a video of an influencer online complain, with bite and sardonic humour, that 'being hot is a full-time, part-time job'. She was kidding - but she also wasn't wrong.
Beauty, primarily for women in the modern, capitalistic, wage-and-workplace-driven Global North, is judged against a likeness to largely patriarchal and Eurocentric standards. Placing this in the age of social media and Kardashian-face, these standards create labour. This form of labour isn't that of Marx, but rather, the 'everything shower' and shaving every inch of our bodies and styling our hair and putting on makeup (and spending money on that makeup!) and attending expensive workout classes and even filling and freezing our faces with Botox and filler and shaving down our jaws and reconstructing our noses.
And then we trade this labour, this beauty, for capital. Social capital, acceptance, attention, and even actual monetisation and aggrandising of the self. And the more of ourselves we wheel out to trade for wealth and power, the less that is left unalienated; the less that is the present, true self. I often wonder how much of the wealth, power, status, and achievements I've accumulated have been because I largely appeal to men. For years, I’ve worked as a hostess and maître d in several fine dining restaurants, and half of my counterparts have often been models. When I interviewed for those jobs, was my resume being studied, or my blonde hair and comically long legs? The central problem thus comes from conceptualising this as capital: I have become indebted to the men and patriarchal structures that have granted me this power. To paraphrase de Beauvoir, I have taken nothing that men have not been willing to grant - I have only received.
We eternally strive toward that more perfect version of ourselves that exists in an imaginary future plane, and it becomes our daily work to achieve that ideal self. It is Sisyphus and his stone. This beautiful, ideal self is always just out of grasp. You can always do more. You can always be thinner and more beautiful and tweak that last little insecurity and present better. You never quite make it to that perfect version of you. Simultaneously, with time, we age. We look less like our younger, more beautiful self. Time works in both directions; creating a friction where the present self is always denied, no matter through which lens it is examined. There is never a moment in the pursuit of beauty where we can occupy our 'now' selves. It is alienation at the very core of the concept - in time, in labour, and in physicality.
Anyway, I'm off to the gym and to go get an expensive haircut.
I don't want to be too dramatic, but I am actually going to discuss Marxist theories of labour now. Within his framework, Marx defines alienation as the separation from one's true self. Capitalism appropriates workers' labour, hence estranging them from their labour, and subsequently, themselves. Can we view beauty as a form of labour? I certainly think so. I recently saw a video of an influencer online complain, with bite and sardonic humour, that 'being hot is a full-time, part-time job'. She was kidding - but she also wasn't wrong.
Beauty, primarily for women in the modern, capitalistic, wage-and-workplace-driven Global North, is judged against a likeness to largely patriarchal and Eurocentric standards. Placing this in the age of social media and Kardashian-face, these standards create labour. This form of labour isn't that of Marx, but rather, the 'everything shower' and shaving every inch of our bodies and styling our hair and putting on makeup (and spending money on that makeup!) and attending expensive workout classes and even filling and freezing our faces with Botox and filler and shaving down our jaws and reconstructing our noses.
And then we trade this labour, this beauty, for capital. Social capital, acceptance, attention, and even actual monetisation and aggrandising of the self. And the more of ourselves we wheel out to trade for wealth and power, the less that is left unalienated; the less that is the present, true self. I often wonder how much of the wealth, power, status, and achievements I've accumulated have been because I largely appeal to men. For years, I’ve worked as a hostess and maître d in several fine dining restaurants, and half of my counterparts have often been models. When I interviewed for those jobs, was my resume being studied, or my blonde hair and comically long legs? The central problem thus comes from conceptualising this as capital: I have become indebted to the men and patriarchal structures that have granted me this power. To paraphrase de Beauvoir, I have taken nothing that men have not been willing to grant - I have only received.
We eternally strive toward that more perfect version of ourselves that exists in an imaginary future plane, and it becomes our daily work to achieve that ideal self. It is Sisyphus and his stone. This beautiful, ideal self is always just out of grasp. You can always do more. You can always be thinner and more beautiful and tweak that last little insecurity and present better. You never quite make it to that perfect version of you. Simultaneously, with time, we age. We look less like our younger, more beautiful self. Time works in both directions; creating a friction where the present self is always denied, no matter through which lens it is examined. There is never a moment in the pursuit of beauty where we can occupy our 'now' selves. It is alienation at the very core of the concept - in time, in labour, and in physicality.
Anyway, I'm off to the gym and to go get an expensive haircut.
November 17, 2019
2.5 stars - rounded up.
Hmm, a thin book about thinness (as opposed to the much broader topic of beauty). Unfortunately, I found this essay perplexing (and more so as it follows on from a much stronger previous work). As a memoir it was rather disingenuous; there was a little of “methinks the lady doth protest too much.� And the scholarly aspects ultimately lacked authority, quoting far too heavily and too often from the work of others (particularly for such a brief work).
Lee says, “Look, I’m smart. But even I can fall prey to self loathing, aided and abetted by society’s unattainable standards. We should all love ourselves for who we really are. I resolve to do this.� A worthy sentiment but publishable in this format, I’m not convinced.
Hmm, a thin book about thinness (as opposed to the much broader topic of beauty). Unfortunately, I found this essay perplexing (and more so as it follows on from a much stronger previous work). As a memoir it was rather disingenuous; there was a little of “methinks the lady doth protest too much.� And the scholarly aspects ultimately lacked authority, quoting far too heavily and too often from the work of others (particularly for such a brief work).
Lee says, “Look, I’m smart. But even I can fall prey to self loathing, aided and abetted by society’s unattainable standards. We should all love ourselves for who we really are. I resolve to do this.� A worthy sentiment but publishable in this format, I’m not convinced.
January 14, 2020
This essay touched on some really interesting points, like the attachment of morality to thinness and the insidiousness of Instagram. But it only touched on them, which is why I think it would have worked better as a longer piece. I also wanted a closer examination of whiteness as a factor in society’s ideal of beauty. Some sharp writing but I think it was ultimately lacking a broader structural critique (that is not take anything away from the author’s experience, though).
July 25, 2019
It felt like I tabbed every second page of this essay, Bri Lee doesn't muck about when she wants to write about something. She does it at 110% effort and 200% skill. I'll be shoving this down everyone's throats come November, male and female alike.
March 8, 2020
While Bri is a talented writer and willing to expose herself, I found this a narrow interpretation of beauty and a little self indulgent. This is one woman’s meditations on her experiences and a missed opportunity to be more.
August 19, 2019
Ouch, very hard to read. Huge trigger warning for anyone who has suffered from disordered eating and especially bulimia. Hit heavy. But ultimately optimistic.
September 23, 2019
I have so many wonderful things to say about this essay I'm not sure where to start without stealing the author's thunder. It's brilliant and personal and fierce. Read it. Now.
July 27, 2021
Not going to lie, I found this audiobook challenging to listen to. I loved her most recent book “Who Gets To Be Smart� so I downloaded this with the idea it would be similar. Beauty is a commentary on the concept of thinness as the gold standard, with the author’s own reflections about her personal experience in the ‘in between� zone of normal weight.
In the early stages of the book, I nodded along with her observations about societal pressures and how women are so stuck by having to do everything perfectly as well as look perfect while doing it. However, as we went on, I found a lot of it rather triggering. I am not unique in terms of my past relationship with food and body image, but I did not find this to be quite the therapeutic and inspiring read that I had hoped for. Perhaps it was written a little too soon, because I got the feeling the author was trying to logic her way out of how she genuinely feels.
Some of the passages were uncomfortable, because the ugly thoughts Bri experienced are ones that I have had too, at times of being unwell. I wonder if others might have a different reading experience, and if I am still a bit sensitive on this topic. Others have noted the lack of intersectionality in the piece, which I feel is fair. It was a brave thing to put in the world and I acknowledge the vulnerability of this type of writing.
� Do read as part of a broader series on body image and beauty
⚠️ Caution if you have current or past issues with disordered eating
In the early stages of the book, I nodded along with her observations about societal pressures and how women are so stuck by having to do everything perfectly as well as look perfect while doing it. However, as we went on, I found a lot of it rather triggering. I am not unique in terms of my past relationship with food and body image, but I did not find this to be quite the therapeutic and inspiring read that I had hoped for. Perhaps it was written a little too soon, because I got the feeling the author was trying to logic her way out of how she genuinely feels.
Some of the passages were uncomfortable, because the ugly thoughts Bri experienced are ones that I have had too, at times of being unwell. I wonder if others might have a different reading experience, and if I am still a bit sensitive on this topic. Others have noted the lack of intersectionality in the piece, which I feel is fair. It was a brave thing to put in the world and I acknowledge the vulnerability of this type of writing.
� Do read as part of a broader series on body image and beauty
⚠️ Caution if you have current or past issues with disordered eating
May 4, 2020
This is a book that’s been sitting on my ‘to read� pile for a while now, but every read has its time and place. Sitting in my apartment six weeks into isolife, having eaten all the things, I was starting to feel very self conscious about my body. Weight and self-image is something I’ve always struggled with, so much of Lee’s discussion about the negative thought cycles one gets into resonated with me strongly. Yet her discussions around the disconnect with the aspirational self are thought provoking and definitely got me thinking about my own misery pits. Was I truly happier when I was thinner? That it’s not a personal problem but one that has been systematically and institutionally reinforced over countless generations. It’s a short essay so you’ll get through this pretty quickly, but if you’re like me then you may find yourself returning to it, or at least its themes, in the future.
June 7, 2024
thin people shut up challenge
October 10, 2021
I don’t know what this author is trying to sell us, but she definitely sold herself off as a self-loathing, fat phobic , self- destructive and self absorbed that this entire book is about her relationship or lack of with her own body and how research is thrown into the book as some sort of attempt to justify her narrative to her audience as why it’s valid.
I don’t know whether to pity her or feel regret for reading a book that offered nothing more than disappointment and disbelief at the fact that this book is planting seeds of self harm and self sabotage as an acceptable way to continue the abuse of ones self in the name of ‘success� and ‘achievement�. Bri Lee needs help, not a platform to share a story that speaks volumes on who she is, rather than what the concept of beauty really is. Instead of using this as a vessel of change and rewriting the outdated story, she continues to back herself with reasons why she thinks of beauty the way she does.
This book ends with no action steps or positive recovery as to how we can collectively aim to change the narrative we’re constantly sold as to what beauty is. Instead it ends with a reflection on how she will still accept herself, possibly, if she ends up over 65kgs.
Deceptive and irresponsible is what this book is.
I don’t know whether to pity her or feel regret for reading a book that offered nothing more than disappointment and disbelief at the fact that this book is planting seeds of self harm and self sabotage as an acceptable way to continue the abuse of ones self in the name of ‘success� and ‘achievement�. Bri Lee needs help, not a platform to share a story that speaks volumes on who she is, rather than what the concept of beauty really is. Instead of using this as a vessel of change and rewriting the outdated story, she continues to back herself with reasons why she thinks of beauty the way she does.
This book ends with no action steps or positive recovery as to how we can collectively aim to change the narrative we’re constantly sold as to what beauty is. Instead it ends with a reflection on how she will still accept herself, possibly, if she ends up over 65kgs.
Deceptive and irresponsible is what this book is.
April 21, 2022
Big trigger warning for disordered eating/self harm/mental health.
A must read. Bri Lee dissects what I believe to be one of Western society's greatest flaws: it's fatphobic rhetoric. My one criticism is that the dialogue is rather white and straight-centric. It could have benefitted from a more intersectional approach.
A must read. Bri Lee dissects what I believe to be one of Western society's greatest flaws: it's fatphobic rhetoric. My one criticism is that the dialogue is rather white and straight-centric. It could have benefitted from a more intersectional approach.
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