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338 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 12, 2021
Brave—ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage."Bravey is a made up word. Pappas describes how the word became part of an urban lexicon (full disclosure I'd never heard of it before this book):
"Courage—the ability to do something that frightens one; strength in the face of pain or grief.
It became the label for a mini-movement, a self-identifier for those who are willing to chase their dreams even though it can be intimidating and scary.Intimidating as in "may have to endure pain". In Pappas view this can be extrapolated to real life where she says
Most people innately want to avoid pain and seek out comfort, and chasing a dream means challenging the default.And there you have it. Lots of people do not achieve because they are not willing to suffer.
Sometimes it hurts to know you can do it. It’s an intimidating thing to realize because it means that the only person who can really define your growth and happiness is yourself.Pappas also has some words of encouragement about self-care and confidence.
You have to believe you are deserving of good surprises in life. You set yourself up for it."She also has thoughts about emotional and mental health and depression.
"Luck can be cultivated."
"Negative thinking drains energy"
"I think many people make the same mistake of not taking a mental injury as seriously as they would a physical injury."I was especially drawn to her concept of trying to "unscramble an egg" or "unring a bell" which is something I think many/most of us try to do at one point or another. For me, another way to phrase it is to rewrite the narrative or denial. Not sure if it is an indication of a mental injury severe enough to seek professional help, but it could an indicator to pause and reflect before reacting.
"The minute you start looking backward, when you entertain the idea of trying to unscramble an egg, you need to ask for help. You need to stop moving and deal with yourself at exactly where you are in that moment."
"depression can distort how you see yourself and your place in the world"
If I were the editor of this book, I'd have tried to get the writing to progress chronologically with the writer. It's fine for the beginning chapters of the book to be rendered simplistically, because in those chapters Pappas is a child, seeing the world through a child's eyes. Therefore, a child's language is appropriate. But as she grows and matures in the book, the writing does not grow and mature with her. That, in my opinion, was a missed opportunity on the part of whoever was guiding this book through publication.
All of this being said, I very much enjoyed the level of specific detail Pappas brought to scenes within some of her personal stories. I'm a big fan of memoirs in general, so the more her stories portrayed the people of her life as characters (namely her mother and father), the more she captured my attention. There's one scene of her mother doing something very disturbing (which I won't recount here) that still sticks with me, it was that powerful. I also appreciated the transparency she brought to her negotiation of sponsorships and the instability that can come with trying to decide where and how to train.
All in all, I gave this book three stars because I personally would give it two or two-and-a-half, but I think for the right audience (adolescent/young teenage girls) it might be a four-star book. And the title? And that cover? Those get five stars for sure.