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Underneath the Sycamore Tree
It happened in stages.�
My father left.�
My twin sister died of an incurable autoimmune disease.�
My mother started breaking down.�
Then I was diagnosed with the very thing that took my other half from me.�
That was when I realized Mama’s eyes turned gold when she cried.�
So I moved in with my father and his new family—new wife, new son, new stepbrother.�
Kaiden Monroe made me feel normal.�
Hated. Cared for. Loathed. And � loved.�
Somewhere along the way, I’d found solace in the boy with brooding eyes.�
But everything happens in stages.�
And nothing good ever lasts.�
My father left.�
My twin sister died of an incurable autoimmune disease.�
My mother started breaking down.�
Then I was diagnosed with the very thing that took my other half from me.�
That was when I realized Mama’s eyes turned gold when she cried.�
So I moved in with my father and his new family—new wife, new son, new stepbrother.�
Kaiden Monroe made me feel normal.�
Hated. Cared for. Loathed. And � loved.�
Somewhere along the way, I’d found solace in the boy with brooding eyes.�
But everything happens in stages.�
And nothing good ever lasts.�
414 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 30, 2019
1,037 people are currently reading
47k people want to read
About the author
B. Celeste
39books3,111followersB. Celeste is a new adult and contemporary romance author that gives voices to raw, realistic characters with emotional storylines that tug on the heartstrings.
She was born and raised in upstate New York where she still resides with her four-legged feline sidekick Oliver “Ollie� Queen. Her love for reading and writing began at an early age and only grew stronger after getting a BA in English and an MFA in English & creative writing. When she’s not writing, she’s working out, binge-watching reality game shows, and spending time with her friends and family.
Email: [email protected]
She was born and raised in upstate New York where she still resides with her four-legged feline sidekick Oliver “Ollie� Queen. Her love for reading and writing began at an early age and only grew stronger after getting a BA in English and an MFA in English & creative writing. When she’s not writing, she’s working out, binge-watching reality game shows, and spending time with her friends and family.
Email: [email protected]
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 3,209 reviews
May 5, 2023
this didnt make me cry like i thought it would, but it definitely tugged on my heartstrings.
right from the very beginning the reader knows how this story is going to play out, so maybe thats why i didnt feel as emotional about the ending. but this is still a very sweet and touching story about family, love, and how to find something to live life for.
it actually reminded me of ‘a thousand boy kisses� in a lot of ways, so if you enjoy that book, then you will definitely want to pick this one up!
� 4 stars
right from the very beginning the reader knows how this story is going to play out, so maybe thats why i didnt feel as emotional about the ending. but this is still a very sweet and touching story about family, love, and how to find something to live life for.
it actually reminded me of ‘a thousand boy kisses� in a lot of ways, so if you enjoy that book, then you will definitely want to pick this one up!
� 4 stars
February 7, 2025
⋆✴︎˚｡� 3.75 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤 ˗ˏˋ★‿︵� ˚ ₊⊹
Nine years ago Emery Matterson lost her best friend, her sister, her twin to a chronic illness.
As Emery tries to cope with losing her everything, Emery’s mother is also caught up in the grief of losing Lo� forgetting life around them, including Emery.
When they find out Emery is sick as well, it tips her mother over the edge.
In an effort to try and help her mother heal, Emery decides to re-connect with her estranged father and move in with him and his new wife, and stepson.
Kaiden Monroe, Emery’s new stepbrother acts indifferent towards her at first. They barely ever speak. Then one day he’s hateful and rude.
While at school Kaiden was the popular guy who everyone respected and looked up too, at home� at home, he barely acknowledged his own mother and kept his emotions bottled up.
But over time Emery and Kaiden begin to form a connection, learning to lean on each other.
And that’s when Emery’s health takes a turn for the worst�
Oh damn. This was an emotional one. I will say, I expected to sob with grief and I didn't, but that's not because this isn't a deeply moving and emotional story. I think I just really expected the worst of the worst.
I do want to say that the relationship between these two was a little weird? I've read plenty of step- sibling tabooish types of reads. It didn't really fit in this scenario for me? I also didn't warm up to Kaiden until the epilogue lol.
Idk. I felt like I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop with him. I didn't trust his intentions.
Our FMC, Emory - what a strong and amazing character. I really related to her on many levels. Not feeling like she has anyone to confide in within her family, a mother who she knows loves her but doesn't necessarily show it. And I'm a huge hypochondriac (I know the FMC is not) but I could really relate to knowing something is going on with your body and explaining it away as something else in order to not deal with it, due to the debilitating fear.
The writing and pacing were fantastic. I do recommend if you're in the mood for something emotional that will leave you feeling bereft.
� 𝓒𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓲𝓬 𝓘𝓵𝓵𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓲𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵. 𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱 𝓲𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵. 𝓟𝓮𝓸𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝓷’� 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓫𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓲𝓽 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓶. 𝓓𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓸𝓻 𝓷𝓸𝓽, 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓹𝓾𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭.�
💗Chronic Illness Rep
🦋Right Person/Wrong Time
🌳A Walk to Remember Vibes
💛Grump x Sunshine
💗ٱ-Բ
🦋Hates Everyone but Her
🌳Loss of Loved One
💛Grief/Hurt x Comfort
💗Domestic Violence (Past)
⋆✴︎˚｡� ˗ˏˋ★‿︵� ˚ ₊⊹
Nine years ago Emery Matterson lost her best friend, her sister, her twin to a chronic illness.
As Emery tries to cope with losing her everything, Emery’s mother is also caught up in the grief of losing Lo� forgetting life around them, including Emery.
When they find out Emery is sick as well, it tips her mother over the edge.
In an effort to try and help her mother heal, Emery decides to re-connect with her estranged father and move in with him and his new wife, and stepson.
Kaiden Monroe, Emery’s new stepbrother acts indifferent towards her at first. They barely ever speak. Then one day he’s hateful and rude.
While at school Kaiden was the popular guy who everyone respected and looked up too, at home� at home, he barely acknowledged his own mother and kept his emotions bottled up.
But over time Emery and Kaiden begin to form a connection, learning to lean on each other.
And that’s when Emery’s health takes a turn for the worst�
Oh damn. This was an emotional one. I will say, I expected to sob with grief and I didn't, but that's not because this isn't a deeply moving and emotional story. I think I just really expected the worst of the worst.
I do want to say that the relationship between these two was a little weird? I've read plenty of step- sibling tabooish types of reads. It didn't really fit in this scenario for me? I also didn't warm up to Kaiden until the epilogue lol.
Idk. I felt like I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop with him. I didn't trust his intentions.
Our FMC, Emory - what a strong and amazing character. I really related to her on many levels. Not feeling like she has anyone to confide in within her family, a mother who she knows loves her but doesn't necessarily show it. And I'm a huge hypochondriac (I know the FMC is not) but I could really relate to knowing something is going on with your body and explaining it away as something else in order to not deal with it, due to the debilitating fear.
The writing and pacing were fantastic. I do recommend if you're in the mood for something emotional that will leave you feeling bereft.
� 𝓒𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓲𝓬 𝓘𝓵𝓵𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓲𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵. 𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱 𝓲𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵. 𝓟𝓮𝓸𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝓷’� 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓫𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓲𝓽 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓶. 𝓓𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓸𝓻 𝓷𝓸𝓽, 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓹𝓾𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭.�
💗Chronic Illness Rep
🦋Right Person/Wrong Time
🌳A Walk to Remember Vibes
💛Grump x Sunshine
💗ٱ-Բ
🦋Hates Everyone but Her
🌳Loss of Loved One
💛Grief/Hurt x Comfort
💗Domestic Violence (Past)
⋆✴︎˚｡� ˗ˏˋ★‿︵� ˚ ₊⊹
December 13, 2020
2nd Time Read!
Don't judge me, i'm in my emotional point right now. Making myself cry is my enjoyment.
My god! I've read a good amount of Nicholas Sparks books but this one by B. Celeste really made me cry, shitty hard! Seriously, I'm totally ruined by this book. This is not just a typical romance, this is more! Underneath the Sycamore Tree was a heart destroyer novel. The heroine, fuck, have you ever felt like you wanted to comfort someone so fucking bad? That was what I'm feeling. Eh, I would do anything just to tell Emery it's going to be okay.
This book is a perfect depiction of life. Nothing good lasts. Cherish and appreciate those moments, good or bad, because not everyone is gifted by a lifetime.
5 FOREVER Stars!
Don't judge me, i'm in my emotional point right now. Making myself cry is my enjoyment.
My god! I've read a good amount of Nicholas Sparks books but this one by B. Celeste really made me cry, shitty hard! Seriously, I'm totally ruined by this book. This is not just a typical romance, this is more! Underneath the Sycamore Tree was a heart destroyer novel. The heroine, fuck, have you ever felt like you wanted to comfort someone so fucking bad? That was what I'm feeling. Eh, I would do anything just to tell Emery it's going to be okay.
🎶You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away🎶
This book is a perfect depiction of life. Nothing good lasts. Cherish and appreciate those moments, good or bad, because not everyone is gifted by a lifetime.
5 FOREVER Stars!
June 24, 2021
4 stars
Song -
This story decided to shoot full doses of pure depression straight into my veins wow.
Every single page of this book - except *cough* chapter 33 & 38 - has our main character, Emery, suffering through some sort of painful ass emotion...
🍁 Grief over her twin's death
🍁 Fear after being diagnosed with the same disease that took her sister's life
🍁 Neglect from her depressed mother
🍁 Abandonment by her absentee father
🍁 Physical pain caused by her disease (Lupus)
🍁 Emotional pain caused by almost every single selfish person in her life
🍁 Nostalgia of a happier life before her family was broken
🍁 Stress from bullying and unpleasant rumours
🍁 Struggle of being antisocial & having no one to really talk to
Until Kaiden of course, who initially didn't even know about her chronic illess. He's her stepbrother and the blunt, angry boy who never shows his emotions, but somehow forms an unbreakable bond with Emery one afternoon underneath a sycamore tree.
I want to mention something that I genuinely have never......EVER seen in any of the romance books I've read before...
...a realistic portrayal of losing virginity.
Whenever I read about heroines easily getting orgasms during their first time, or magically having the pain evaporate after a few strokes, I always subconsciously think what a load of bullshit that is.
Because we girls all know that's never how first times go. It fucking hurts and doesn't stop hurting just because the man is your star crossed soulmate or the love of your life.
And this book showed that perfectly; the realism. It wasn't just the sex but the topic of reality overall, the painful reality of life. Good people are imperfect and good people don't always get the happy endings they deserve.
But regardless of how much this book made me cry, it didn't destroy me.
Which is why it's not 5 stars. The emotional impact was there but brief, I felt it and then it was gone. This story could've used some more happy and memorable moments, not to say that there weren't any, but I guess I wanted more than just Emery sitting at home with Kaiden and her family or visiting graves.
The ending was also pretty rushed, if the execution was a little different it could’ve squeezed way more tears out of me.
PS; If you're wondering why they took a break from their depressing thoughts in those two chapters, it's because they were too busy fucking.
Song -
This story decided to shoot full doses of pure depression straight into my veins wow.
Every single page of this book - except *cough* chapter 33 & 38 - has our main character, Emery, suffering through some sort of painful ass emotion...
🍁 Grief over her twin's death
🍁 Fear after being diagnosed with the same disease that took her sister's life
🍁 Neglect from her depressed mother
🍁 Abandonment by her absentee father
🍁 Physical pain caused by her disease (Lupus)
🍁 Emotional pain caused by almost every single selfish person in her life
🍁 Nostalgia of a happier life before her family was broken
🍁 Stress from bullying and unpleasant rumours
🍁 Struggle of being antisocial & having no one to really talk to
Until Kaiden of course, who initially didn't even know about her chronic illess. He's her stepbrother and the blunt, angry boy who never shows his emotions, but somehow forms an unbreakable bond with Emery one afternoon underneath a sycamore tree.
He’s insulted me.
Picked on me.
Isolated me.
But he also gave me his room.
Cooked me omelets.
And taken me to his favorite spot.
He’s given Cam a chance for me, played nice with my father, and opened up to me when he wouldn’t with anyone else.
I want to mention something that I genuinely have never......EVER seen in any of the romance books I've read before...
...a realistic portrayal of losing virginity.
Whenever I read about heroines easily getting orgasms during their first time, or magically having the pain evaporate after a few strokes, I always subconsciously think what a load of bullshit that is.
Because we girls all know that's never how first times go. It fucking hurts and doesn't stop hurting just because the man is your star crossed soulmate or the love of your life.
I want this. Need this.
But I also want it to end. I want the pain to stop and the pleasure to begin like in the books. I want to be able to move my hips to meet his like I know what I’m doing. I want to feel confident and sexy and to know he can’t get enough of me.
That’s not how it is though.
And this book showed that perfectly; the realism. It wasn't just the sex but the topic of reality overall, the painful reality of life. Good people are imperfect and good people don't always get the happy endings they deserve.
But regardless of how much this book made me cry, it didn't destroy me.
Which is why it's not 5 stars. The emotional impact was there but brief, I felt it and then it was gone. This story could've used some more happy and memorable moments, not to say that there weren't any, but I guess I wanted more than just Emery sitting at home with Kaiden and her family or visiting graves.
The ending was also pretty rushed, if the execution was a little different it could’ve squeezed way more tears out of me.
PS; If you're wondering why they took a break from their depressing thoughts in those two chapters, it's because they were too busy fucking.
August 24, 2021
now why didn’t y’all tell me they were step-siblings 😕
October 31, 2019
'UNDERNEATH THE SYCAMORE TREE' Is a full length, New Adult novel by B. Celeste. This is Emery and Kaiden's story. It's not an easy story to read, but it's a story that has to be read. Spoken in Emery's POV mostly but we do get Kaiden's POV at the end.
This book right here was totally unexpected, the ‘Prologue� had me even at that early stage craving more, I wanted to stay in that moment, I wanted to read ‘the before� the end of Lo.
I wanted those emotional feels to grab me by the throat, to not let go, never in a million years did I think I’d be eating my words!
Even though I didn’t shed a tear, I still felt everything I read. Everything this author threw into this book I FELT!! The pain, the loss, the heartache, the unfairness of it all I felt it!!
In this we meet eighteen year old Emery, a high schooler, suffering from the same disease which her twin sister Lo died from.
𝓘𝓷𝓼𝓲𝓭𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓪𝓭 𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂 𝓪𝓰𝓸𝓷𝓲𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓮𝔁𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓫𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮𝓯𝓲𝓮𝓵𝓭, 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓘'𝓶 𝓸𝓷 𝓫𝓸𝓽𝓱 𝓼𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓼 𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓰𝓰𝓮𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝔂 𝓰𝓾𝓷𝓼 𝔀𝓪𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓫𝓾𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓽𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓫𝓪𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓵𝓼.
Her mother has clocked out, the grief is just too much for her to bare, and with an absent father, Emery feels like she's facing this disease on her own. But to save her mother from more grief she re-connects with her father and decides to go and live with him and his new family.
She never thought in a million years that what she encountered with her stepbrother Kaiden would progress into her giving him all her firsts. This is by far not your typical stepbrother romance, it has so many deep elements to it, it's a raw, gut wrenching true to life story about Emery, a girl who just wants to finish her junior year, a girl who can't rely on tomorrow, a girl who has to live in the moment..
𝓓𝓲𝓼𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝓻𝓴. 𝓘𝓽 𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓻𝓼, 𝔀𝓪𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓯𝓮𝓬𝓽 𝓶𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓴𝓮. 𝓘𝓽 𝓿𝓮𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓲𝓽𝓼 𝓾𝓰𝓵𝔂 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓼 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓼, 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓲𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓼. 𝓨𝓮𝓽, 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮'𝓼 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷 𝓪𝓷𝔂 𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓸𝓯 𝓲𝓷𝓿𝓲𝓼𝓲𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓲𝓷 𝓮𝔁𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓲𝓽𝓼 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓵𝓭 𝓲𝓼 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝓰𝓾𝓮𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱. 𝓘𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓯𝓯𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮.
To date this is my favourite book by this author, her writing is taking leaps and bounds from the first book I'd read of hers.
April 6, 2020
☆☆
First of all, I know this was a book loved by mostly everyone, so ignore me if you don’t agree with me, I just want to write some of my thoughts since there aren’t really contrasting reviews in order to help future readers get opinions on this book.
I want to start by saying that I knew I would not like this book as much as everyone else because I knew it had the stepbrother trope (if that’s a trope), and I really can’t stand that trope. I know people don’t consider Emery and Kaiden siblings because they are not directly related, but it is not something that I can look away from and support their romance.
However, I thought I could overlook the romance and focus on the plot, but the plot wasn’t that good either. The book tells us Emery’s story, a girl struggling with a chronic illness. And you know what? I thought it would be interesting to read about her struggles, about how she faced the reality she was living in� but it wasn’t. The book picks up right when she moves with her dad and his new family and, from then until the end is just her and her stepbrother Kaiden. This is categorized as New Adult but in all honesty, I don’t mean to be harsh but it felt like I was reading a Young Adult novel with some very forced moments that belonged to the New Adult genre. Some things were really important for the development of Emery’s character (like her relationship with both her mother and her father) and they were not given much importance, it felt like there could be a scene of various pages between Emery and Kaiden, but not a description of her evolving relationship with her mother or father.
Apart from that, I don’t have much to say. I would have really liked for Emery to have another romantic storyline, I believe that she could have maintained her bond with Kaiden and have a sibling relationship based on friendship only, and she could have found that romantic love somewhere else. Also, the ending was pretty rushed and I didn’t see the point of those lines from Kaiden’s POV. I want to finish by saying that this was not a book for me.
First of all, I know this was a book loved by mostly everyone, so ignore me if you don’t agree with me, I just want to write some of my thoughts since there aren’t really contrasting reviews in order to help future readers get opinions on this book.
I want to start by saying that I knew I would not like this book as much as everyone else because I knew it had the stepbrother trope (if that’s a trope), and I really can’t stand that trope. I know people don’t consider Emery and Kaiden siblings because they are not directly related, but it is not something that I can look away from and support their romance.
However, I thought I could overlook the romance and focus on the plot, but the plot wasn’t that good either. The book tells us Emery’s story, a girl struggling with a chronic illness. And you know what? I thought it would be interesting to read about her struggles, about how she faced the reality she was living in� but it wasn’t. The book picks up right when she moves with her dad and his new family and, from then until the end is just her and her stepbrother Kaiden. This is categorized as New Adult but in all honesty, I don’t mean to be harsh but it felt like I was reading a Young Adult novel with some very forced moments that belonged to the New Adult genre. Some things were really important for the development of Emery’s character (like her relationship with both her mother and her father) and they were not given much importance, it felt like there could be a scene of various pages between Emery and Kaiden, but not a description of her evolving relationship with her mother or father.
Apart from that, I don’t have much to say. I would have really liked for Emery to have another romantic storyline, I believe that she could have maintained her bond with Kaiden and have a sibling relationship based on friendship only, and she could have found that romantic love somewhere else. Also, the ending was pretty rushed and I didn’t see the point of those lines from Kaiden’s POV. I want to finish by saying that this was not a book for me.
March 27, 2020
i would like this book much better if kaiden and emery stay as brother and sister and never have sex.
May 30, 2024
A book about chronic illness 🩵
This book is sad. It’s the story of two twins who have the same chronic illness. One dies and then the living twin basically has a long plan of suicide herself by not seeking any help for her condition when she knows she should. She is so worried about being a burden to everyone around her that she would rather die.
Being a burden is not an uncommon thought and worry of those with chronic illness. I think there is good representation of that throughout this book when she is trying to hide her symptoms. But I think this book made me angry too, because she wasn’t even trying to save herself and that was hard to read.
This book also includes a love story between her and her stepbrother that she just met. I did enjoy their connection even though it was a little odd given the circumstances. They definitely had chemistry though.
I think what bothered me the most about this book though is trying to wrap my head around the belief that 2 twins could have lupus which is rare, but then also for them to have a similar or same severe disease progression. The odds have to be like 1 in a billion. This bothered me, because while I like the chronic illness representation, I want it to be believable and not sensationalized.
I still enjoyed the ride and it was a good read. I still recommend it. Just felt a few of the points took it down from 5 stars for me personally. Just be prepared to be very sad!
This book is sad. It’s the story of two twins who have the same chronic illness. One dies and then the living twin basically has a long plan of suicide herself by not seeking any help for her condition when she knows she should. She is so worried about being a burden to everyone around her that she would rather die.
Being a burden is not an uncommon thought and worry of those with chronic illness. I think there is good representation of that throughout this book when she is trying to hide her symptoms. But I think this book made me angry too, because she wasn’t even trying to save herself and that was hard to read.
This book also includes a love story between her and her stepbrother that she just met. I did enjoy their connection even though it was a little odd given the circumstances. They definitely had chemistry though.
I think what bothered me the most about this book though is trying to wrap my head around the belief that 2 twins could have lupus which is rare, but then also for them to have a similar or same severe disease progression. The odds have to be like 1 in a billion. This bothered me, because while I like the chronic illness representation, I want it to be believable and not sensationalized.
I still enjoyed the ride and it was a good read. I still recommend it. Just felt a few of the points took it down from 5 stars for me personally. Just be prepared to be very sad!
November 4, 2021
Re-read: vous être contents? Non parce que moi je le cœur brisé en milles morceaux. Le lire était très dure mais le relire est encore pire.
Can I give this book a million stars? Honestly, I don’t even know what to say. I loved the implication of the author in the book. Like you could FEEL her opinion about books, people, illness etc... It’s not the kind of books that you want to go normally because you don’t want to get hit by reality that hard. My mom saw me crying in my bed and asked me why would I want to put myself in this position and I didn’t even try to explain it to her, she has to read it so she can feel it by herself. Because this book should be read by everyone so they can feel sadness and be grateful for it at the end. I am not doing well right now but I’m still grateful for the masterpiece.
Can I give this book a million stars? Honestly, I don’t even know what to say. I loved the implication of the author in the book. Like you could FEEL her opinion about books, people, illness etc... It’s not the kind of books that you want to go normally because you don’t want to get hit by reality that hard. My mom saw me crying in my bed and asked me why would I want to put myself in this position and I didn’t even try to explain it to her, she has to read it so she can feel it by herself. Because this book should be read by everyone so they can feel sadness and be grateful for it at the end. I am not doing well right now but I’m still grateful for the masterpiece.
February 16, 2023
fuck. no one talk to me. i can’t do this :( 5 heartbreaking stars i refuse to talk about it all ik is that i’ll be crying myself to sleep tonight. this one hurt. b celeste, i love you. this book deserves a thorough review but i can’t, all i’ll say is this one hurt just as much as a thousand boy kisses if not worse. ugh. don’t be dumb like me and read this while you’re on your period. every time i’m not occupying myself with something i feel the urge to sob.
March 21, 2024
1,5⭐️
Bardzo nie czuję tej książki. Nie lubię relacji romantycznej, jest dla mnie niepojęta (więcej powiem w recenzji spoilerowej na TT) i ona tak naprawdę zepsuła mi całą książkę.
Czy jest to najsmutniejsza powieść booktoka? Nie dla mnie
Bardzo nie czuję tej książki. Nie lubię relacji romantycznej, jest dla mnie niepojęta (więcej powiem w recenzji spoilerowej na TT) i ona tak naprawdę zepsuła mi całą książkę.
Czy jest to najsmutniejsza powieść booktoka? Nie dla mnie
November 10, 2019
B celeste gave us heartbreak in this story. She gave us strength, purpose, clarity and a deep understanding of the term love. Never one to sugar coat anything, this author gave us a reality that we felt with her simple but powerful words and the characters that were portrayed, did the story justice.
"I find that the books with the saddest endings are the best because it makes us feel. We don't always get a happily ever after no matter how hard we work for it."
Usually I would give a little bit of info on the characters along with the plot but for this review, I won’t be doing that. What I will say is that this is not your ordinary step brother romance. This story was much more. This was about a brave heroine, an unbreakable friendship, healing old wounds and having a second chance at something that was priceless. These characters were not perfect but you felt their emotions and you fell in love with their fight and you couldn’t have asked for anything more better than that.
I was not expecting this story to be so different if I’m being completely honest. I was prepared for the regular step brother romance with a little bit of drama thrown into it. What I got was the complete opposite and you know what? I loved that. These characters were so real and honest to a fault that it felt like you were sitting right next to them having a real life conversation. I loved their fight, their compassion and what really brought it home for me, was the love and that was everything.
If you’re looking for a deep meaningful story that is sure going to hit you with all the feels, then this book is for you.
December 2, 2023
Thank you to the author B. Celeste, publishers Sourcebooks and Bloombooks, and as always NetGalley, for an advance digital copy of UNDERNEATH THE SYCAMORE TREE.
What follows is my honest review about this book.
What I liked:
🦴 Chronic illness rep
❤️� Enemies to lovers
📚 Book love
❤️� Forbidden love
What I didn't like:
I'm not into ablism in books. This book is not for me, you could say.
Emery, the female protagonist, has a whole life I could tell you about. She also has lupus. And according to this book, none of that life matters in light of the chronic illness. Death is preferable. After every piece of information Emery's fictional doctors give her is either wrong or woefully incomplete, Emery decides to forego the dialysis she needs to save her life. She chooses death by organ failure, an absolutely awful way to die (which no one explains to her, conveniently). But, you know. Forget dialysis and chronic illness, right, book? Dying miserably is the way to go!
I really think Celeste needed to do some research on lupus. If she *did* the research and chose to present the lupus story element like this anyway...let's just say I hope she doesn't represent most of the population on the issue of chronic illness. Oh wait! She does. Because this book is wildly popular.
*edit* I found out from reading another review that B. Celeste has Lupus. I agree with the review that I read that I hope writing and sharing this book was therapeutic for the author. As a disabled reader with chronic illness, who fights my own battles with suicidal thinking, I believe this narrative suggests something very sad about the lives of people living with chronic illness.
Rating: 1 star
Recommend? No.
Finished March 22 2023
What follows is my honest review about this book.
What I liked:
🦴 Chronic illness rep
❤️� Enemies to lovers
📚 Book love
❤️� Forbidden love
What I didn't like:
I'm not into ablism in books. This book is not for me, you could say.
Emery, the female protagonist, has a whole life I could tell you about. She also has lupus. And according to this book, none of that life matters in light of the chronic illness. Death is preferable. After every piece of information Emery's fictional doctors give her is either wrong or woefully incomplete, Emery decides to forego the dialysis she needs to save her life. She chooses death by organ failure, an absolutely awful way to die (which no one explains to her, conveniently). But, you know. Forget dialysis and chronic illness, right, book? Dying miserably is the way to go!
I really think Celeste needed to do some research on lupus. If she *did* the research and chose to present the lupus story element like this anyway...let's just say I hope she doesn't represent most of the population on the issue of chronic illness. Oh wait! She does. Because this book is wildly popular.
*edit* I found out from reading another review that B. Celeste has Lupus. I agree with the review that I read that I hope writing and sharing this book was therapeutic for the author. As a disabled reader with chronic illness, who fights my own battles with suicidal thinking, I believe this narrative suggests something very sad about the lives of people living with chronic illness.
Rating: 1 star
Recommend? No.
Finished March 22 2023
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 5, 2023
i need you all to be so serious right now
December 3, 2021
8/11/2021 | reread update: I am officially depressed. again. check out my playlist for this book on ‼️
“I find that the books with the saddest endings are the best because it makes us feel. We don’t always get a happily ever after no matter how hard we work for it.�
| | |
“Pretending to be okay for the sake of others is a draining act to an already underpaid show.�
this book has many synonymous names. some of my personal favourites are pain, agony, but the best one - heart breaker. actually heart wrecker would be more accurate. or whatever you call it when someone is ripping your heart out of your chest. i felt way too much while reading this.
this caused me so much emotional damage, it took me a WHILE to pick up a new book. i still don’t feel the same. going into this book, i knew what was going to happen. I predicted the ending, but i didn’t predict how much i was going to love this book.
“Kaiden Monroe made everything bearable. School. Home. He turned out to be the person I could trust enough to share my firsts. In my eyes, he was my only true ally.�
the author does an incredible job of keeping you connected to the characters. i was so attached to them that i felt what they felt, i’m even not kidding. it’s honestly so heartbreakingly beautiful, i had to scrap this review at least 3 times before i could figure out the right words to tell you how much impact it had on me. to say i was an emotional wreck would be the understatement of the decade.
it’s one of those books that makes you look at things from a different perspective. it makes you think about everything around you, about the people around you differently. i was so ready to be let down because i knew how it would end but by the time i got there, let’s just say that i knew five stars wouldn’t be enough.
i don’t read emotional books because i cant connect to characters emotionally but helloo guess who’s wrong. i was literally shaking by the time i finished.
“Selfish people don’t put anybody first.
Selfish people don’t sacrifice everything.
They never come second.
They never feel torment.�
in the epilogue, there’s three lines that absolutely broke me. i’m not going to tell you what they are but when you do read this book and get there, you’ll know. HELLO MISS CELESTE ARE YOU GOING TO PAY MY THERAPY BILLS HUH. my emotional damage would probably cost a fortune to fix. this is literally the equivalent of a death sentence. an emotional and painful death.
it’s like the fault in our stars, but like 40 times better. i’m not saying that because of my dislike of john green books but because that’s how heartbreakingly beautiful this one is. read it and cry about it. it seriously deserves more hype.
“Sometimes words aren’t enough.
Sometimes nothing has to be said at all.�
“I find that the books with the saddest endings are the best because it makes us feel. We don’t always get a happily ever after no matter how hard we work for it.�
| | |
“Pretending to be okay for the sake of others is a draining act to an already underpaid show.�
this book has many synonymous names. some of my personal favourites are pain, agony, but the best one - heart breaker. actually heart wrecker would be more accurate. or whatever you call it when someone is ripping your heart out of your chest. i felt way too much while reading this.
this caused me so much emotional damage, it took me a WHILE to pick up a new book. i still don’t feel the same. going into this book, i knew what was going to happen. I predicted the ending, but i didn’t predict how much i was going to love this book.
“Kaiden Monroe made everything bearable. School. Home. He turned out to be the person I could trust enough to share my firsts. In my eyes, he was my only true ally.�
the author does an incredible job of keeping you connected to the characters. i was so attached to them that i felt what they felt, i’m even not kidding. it’s honestly so heartbreakingly beautiful, i had to scrap this review at least 3 times before i could figure out the right words to tell you how much impact it had on me. to say i was an emotional wreck would be the understatement of the decade.
it’s one of those books that makes you look at things from a different perspective. it makes you think about everything around you, about the people around you differently. i was so ready to be let down because i knew how it would end but by the time i got there, let’s just say that i knew five stars wouldn’t be enough.
i don’t read emotional books because i cant connect to characters emotionally but helloo guess who’s wrong. i was literally shaking by the time i finished.
“Selfish people don’t put anybody first.
Selfish people don’t sacrifice everything.
They never come second.
They never feel torment.�
in the epilogue, there’s three lines that absolutely broke me. i’m not going to tell you what they are but when you do read this book and get there, you’ll know. HELLO MISS CELESTE ARE YOU GOING TO PAY MY THERAPY BILLS HUH. my emotional damage would probably cost a fortune to fix. this is literally the equivalent of a death sentence. an emotional and painful death.
it’s like the fault in our stars, but like 40 times better. i’m not saying that because of my dislike of john green books but because that’s how heartbreakingly beautiful this one is. read it and cry about it. it seriously deserves more hype.
“Sometimes words aren’t enough.
Sometimes nothing has to be said at all.�
February 5, 2023
i lost all hope for this book when she started wearing the weirdest converse this world has seen
January 27, 2021
5 ❤️💔💔💔💔 🐭 📚 🌳🥍 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟s❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
Em’s journey was heart rending and broke my heart in so many pieces.
It was not an easy read at all, yet it was beautifully and vividly written, had an amazing pace and flow, evoked so many emotions and had me sobbing in the end.
Emery Matterson was a very strong and brave character, braced for ‘tomorrow�, living and appreciating every experience she could gain.
She tried to rebuild the broken relationship of her mother and father who had separated, of her stepbrother with his mother, and when she had to cross that ugly and one-way ‘bridge� of life she was ready and determined.
She was given a second chance in friendship, with Kaiden - her stepbrother, and their relationship blossomed and I was so happy for both of them. The slow burn romance had a great secondary role in the story, yet it was powerful and heart melting.
The ending was devastating and hurting and the epilogue that followed brought me to my knees and crushed me.
“The trouble with time is that we only think we have it. It’s an illusion—an excuse to linger in existence.� Emery
Em’s journey was heart rending and broke my heart in so many pieces.
It was not an easy read at all, yet it was beautifully and vividly written, had an amazing pace and flow, evoked so many emotions and had me sobbing in the end.
Emery Matterson was a very strong and brave character, braced for ‘tomorrow�, living and appreciating every experience she could gain.
She tried to rebuild the broken relationship of her mother and father who had separated, of her stepbrother with his mother, and when she had to cross that ugly and one-way ‘bridge� of life she was ready and determined.
She was given a second chance in friendship, with Kaiden - her stepbrother, and their relationship blossomed and I was so happy for both of them. The slow burn romance had a great secondary role in the story, yet it was powerful and heart melting.
The ending was devastating and hurting and the epilogue that followed brought me to my knees and crushed me.
“The trouble with time is that we only think we have it. It’s an illusion—an excuse to linger in existence.� Emery
May 10, 2021
3.5 The more I progressed, the more I dreaded finishing it. I was disconnected and detached from the heroine from the get-go due to her fatal disease. With that said I still cried a few times while reading it. Overall, my takeaway from this book is not to let resentment take root and prevent you from mending difficult relationships because of things done in the past.
“If we spend all the time on the negative, we’ll be angry for the rest of our lives. Why let it consume us?�
“We get one life. One chance. One opportunity to live. Why should I spend that in more pain than I already do?�
“If we spend all the time on the negative, we’ll be angry for the rest of our lives. Why let it consume us?�
“We get one life. One chance. One opportunity to live. Why should I spend that in more pain than I already do?�
April 16, 2020
if you want a good book with death trope then you should try this one.
now why would someone subject themselves to this? good question, i haven't found an answer yet. maybe only that the chances that this book will make me something is HIGH and i love books that makes me emotional.
i really liked the characters. Emery and Kaiden were easy to love. of course i got attached even though i told myself not to because it's going to end with me heartbroken.
when i pick up a book with death trope i fully expect to bawl my eyes out by the end of it and this time i didn't shed a tear. maybe it was due to the rush ending and we didn't really see a goodbye when Emery passed away. another thing is that i wasn't 100% invested in Emery and Kaiden's romance. they were very cute together but for me it was always more best friends than lovers.
hopefully Kaiden gets a second book with a second chance at love cause he's only in his early 20s when the book is over. like i know people hate to see second chance when one person is moving on, but Kaiden is still young and deserves to be happy again!
while it didn't leave me in tears, it was still a very cute book and would recommend it. just don't expect a happy ending 😅
The truth is, you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
now why would someone subject themselves to this? good question, i haven't found an answer yet. maybe only that the chances that this book will make me something is HIGH and i love books that makes me emotional.
i really liked the characters. Emery and Kaiden were easy to love. of course i got attached even though i told myself not to because it's going to end with me heartbroken.
when i pick up a book with death trope i fully expect to bawl my eyes out by the end of it and this time i didn't shed a tear. maybe it was due to the rush ending and we didn't really see a goodbye when Emery passed away. another thing is that i wasn't 100% invested in Emery and Kaiden's romance. they were very cute together but for me it was always more best friends than lovers.
hopefully Kaiden gets a second book with a second chance at love cause he's only in his early 20s when the book is over. like i know people hate to see second chance when one person is moving on, but Kaiden is still young and deserves to be happy again!
while it didn't leave me in tears, it was still a very cute book and would recommend it. just don't expect a happy ending 😅
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 30, 2020
“There are a lot of fake people in the world, Kaiden Monroe. You may be a jackass, but at least you’re real�
Is probably the fakest thing the heroine said in this book
Jesusss I’m so sick of these type of books
Imagine a heroine whose not like those other girls and keeps to herself and likes to read she’s just not like those other chicks you know the sluts and whores in high school.
Someone just shoot me please who tf was even Kaiden Jesus he was a fucking idiot
So we have a young girl with lupus who is going to die from it someday while I appreciate the portrayal of lupus .
What I don’t is and inaccurate of young women in high school
God forbid we read about the girls who like Harry Potter and girls who wear makeup because that just doesn’t exist
See she’s not like most girls she has lupus so she can’t like boys or have boys think she’s pretty or have friends or hang out or ya know have any of that because in this day and age that’s just not the norm
See she’s sick so only Kaiden her step bro can like her and see her for who she really is.. kill me now
Is probably the fakest thing the heroine said in this book
Jesusss I’m so sick of these type of books
Imagine a heroine whose not like those other girls and keeps to herself and likes to read she’s just not like those other chicks you know the sluts and whores in high school.
Someone just shoot me please who tf was even Kaiden Jesus he was a fucking idiot
So we have a young girl with lupus who is going to die from it someday while I appreciate the portrayal of lupus .
What I don’t is and inaccurate of young women in high school
God forbid we read about the girls who like Harry Potter and girls who wear makeup because that just doesn’t exist
See she’s not like most girls she has lupus so she can’t like boys or have boys think she’s pretty or have friends or hang out or ya know have any of that because in this day and age that’s just not the norm
See she’s sick so only Kaiden her step bro can like her and see her for who she really is.. kill me now
August 30, 2022
why did no one say this horrendous piece of shit was a step-bro romance ??
October 22, 2019
Release Date: November 1, 2019
Actual Rating: 4.5 stars
Emotional Romance | New Adult | Coming of Age | Ugly Cry
Here we have another UGLY CRY romance that will not only break your heart but it will touch it too. B. Celeste has written quite the story here and while the premise overall is a sad one, it's also one that needs to be told. We cannot always have perfect heroines who life easy lives as it's not realistic in the real world. It's nice to see that people with illnesses and even disabilities have books too. Therefore, this is an original read . B. Celeste wrote a book here that's close to her heart, and I am thankful that I not only learned something from it but found the heroine to be one of my favorites ever written. She's strong, has a heart of gold, and derserves as much happiness as time will give her.
This book is not only an emotional romance, but a stepbrother romance as well. While I didn't really feel the forbidden tones I would have expected from a romance like this, I did enjoy their hard fought relationship even if the road wasn't always easy for them. You see they are both facing some pretty heartbreaking things in their lives and have so much more in common than they would have thought which makes them the perfect pair.
If you're heart is open to feeling this sweet and heartbreaking journey with Kaiden and Emery I recommend this to you. It's not the easiest book to read especially towards the end (you'll need a lot of tissues) but it's on worth the time as it tells and original story.
Actual Rating: 4.5 stars
Emotional Romance | New Adult | Coming of Age | Ugly Cry
Here we have another UGLY CRY romance that will not only break your heart but it will touch it too. B. Celeste has written quite the story here and while the premise overall is a sad one, it's also one that needs to be told. We cannot always have perfect heroines who life easy lives as it's not realistic in the real world. It's nice to see that people with illnesses and even disabilities have books too. Therefore, this is an original read . B. Celeste wrote a book here that's close to her heart, and I am thankful that I not only learned something from it but found the heroine to be one of my favorites ever written. She's strong, has a heart of gold, and derserves as much happiness as time will give her.
This book is not only an emotional romance, but a stepbrother romance as well. While I didn't really feel the forbidden tones I would have expected from a romance like this, I did enjoy their hard fought relationship even if the road wasn't always easy for them. You see they are both facing some pretty heartbreaking things in their lives and have so much more in common than they would have thought which makes them the perfect pair.
If you're heart is open to feeling this sweet and heartbreaking journey with Kaiden and Emery I recommend this to you. It's not the easiest book to read especially towards the end (you'll need a lot of tissues) but it's on worth the time as it tells and original story.
September 23, 2020
i don’t wanna talk about it 😭😭😭
Read
January 9, 2023Buy it here:
August 12, 2020
4 stars
i don’t want to talk about it 😭
i don’t want to talk about it 😭
August 26, 2024
Una historia tan desgarradora como preciosa. No puedo decir mucho más.
La amé de principio a fin, aun si me hizo sufrir.
La amé de principio a fin, aun si me hizo sufrir.
January 21, 2023
It took me so long to finish this book because the incest parts were so bad. I respect the author trying to give light to chronic diseases and how it can affect the relationships between your family members. But however the point was taken away by her romanticizing step sibling relationship and domestic abuse. Kaiden is also literally the most unlikable character. I don’t know how that unstable bitch was portrayed to be a savior. The wattpad level writing was unappealing to me as well.
January 27, 2021
NEVER READING A DEATH TROPE AGAIN THIS IS SO SICK
March 13, 2021
i wanna be six feet under with emery.
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