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278 pages, Hardcover
First published December 1, 2020
“Lord, give me the confidence of a mediocre white man.�
"…white male mediocrity is a baseline, the dominant narrative, and that everything in our society is centered around preserving white male power regardless of white male skill or talent."Needless to say if we build a system like this, its inherent weakness is the poor development of actual ability.
"But the expectation of accomplishment is not an accomplishment in and of itself. By making whiteness and maleness their own reward, we disincentivize white men from working to earn their privileged status."What!?! There is no meritocracy you say!?! The impacts of this system are known and experienced by most of us including white males. Oluo breaks down her analysis in 7 chapters. The most affecting for me were the chapters on Higher Education and Women in the Workplace. Oluo seems to have her finger on the pulse of what's happening and some of the historical elements that were laid to support where we are today and why.
" [white males] The love, admiration, belonging, and fulfilment they have been promised will never come—it cannot exist for you when your success is tied to the subjugation of those around you. These white men are filled with anger, sadness, and fear over what they do not have, what they believe has been stolen from them. And they look at where they are now, and they cannot imagine anything different. As miserable as they are, they are convinced that no other option exists for them."This lie is showcased when one examines the George Floyd murder where Officer Chauvin seemed to be pursuing submissiveness and subjugation rather than subduing a man who was resisting arrest. I don't think I have to remind anyone of what the initial police report said regarding Floyd's death. The murder of Ahmaud Arbery in Georgia by a former police detective and his son who basically went out hunting for black men. They were arrested after their friend released the video (a video that law enforcement held quietly for 2 months and did not intend to charge anyone) that he supposedly thought would help. An excuse that defies credulity, he was bragging (in my view). The paraphrase "they didn't [arrest those men] because they saw the tape, they did it because we saw the tape" became popular. They do however seem poised to allow a white female officer who shot a man to death because she confused her gun with a taser to go down without a fight. I'm guessing the 26-year veteran female officer's fitness and capability for the job will come into play during the trial. The wagons only circle around white males. Another recent example is the mass shooting of Asians in Florida and the Sheriff in a news conference seeming to comprehend the motive and ascribing that the white male murderer apprehended alive (amid the relentless spate of police killings of unarmed people of color around the country) was just "having a really bad day". There are so many more, all happening since this book was written.
"Perhaps one of the most brutal of white male privileges is the opportunity to live long enough to regret the carnage you have brought upon others."We can hope. The book is inevitably among the first of many to come about the white patriarchy and its foundations and continued dominance in American society. It was enjoyable and I did learn a few things along the way.
I am not arguing that every white man is mediocre. I do not believe that any race or gender is predisposed to mediocrity.
What I'm saying is that white male mediocrity is a baseline, the dominant narrative, and that everything in our society is centered around preserving white male power regardless of white male skill or talent.
Even the most virulent American racist has to wrestle with the fact that the United States would not exist were it not for people of color.
Most women and people of color have to claw their way to any chance at success or power, have to work twice as hard as white men and prove themselves to be exceptional talents before we begin to entertain discussions of truly equal representation in our workplace or government
What exactly do people who aren’t white men have that could be more inclusive of white men? We do not have control of our local governments, our national governments, our school boards, our universities, our police forces, our militaries, our workplaces. All we have is our struggle. And yet we are told that our struggle for inclusion and equity—and our celebration of even symbolic steps toward them—is divisive and threatening to those who have far greater access to everything else than we can dream of. If white men are finding that the overwhelmingly white-male-controlled system isn’t meeting their needs, how did we end up being the problem?
Nobody is more pessimistic about white men than white men.
It's the expectations that many white men have that they shouldn't have to climb, shouldn't have to struggle, as others do. It's the idea not only that they think they have less than others, but that they were supposed to have so much more. When you are denied the power, the success, or even the relationships that you think are your right, you either believe that you are broken or you believe that you have been stolen from.
White male identity is in a very dark place. White men have been told that they should be fulfilled, happy, successful, and powerful, and they are not. They are missing something vital - an intrinsic sense of self that is not tied to how much power or success they can hold over others - and that hole is eating away at them.
We also have to imagine a white manhood that is not based in the oppression of others. We have to value the empathy, kindness, and cooperation that white men, as human beings, are capable of. We have to define strength and leadership in ways that don't reinforce abusive patriarchy and white supremacy. We have to be honest about what white male supremacy has cost not only women, nonbinary people, and people of color—but also white men.Her book shines a spotlight on a problem that hurts everyone.