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Blown for Good: Behind the Iron Curtain of Scientology
Nominated by Foreword Magazine as 2009 Book of the Year award finalist. Marc Headley provides a rare, never before seen insider's look at life inside Scientology. He spent 15 years at their secret headquarters - a 500 acre property located deep in the California desert. The local townspeople were told lectures and films were made there. But is that all that was happening? It is the location of a multi-million dollar home for L. Ron Hubbard, built two decades after his death. It is the home of Scientology’s current leader, David Miscavige. So what really happens there? Are the stories on the internet true? How does Scientology conduct management of its day to day operations? Could stories of armed guards, weapons, staff beatings, and razor wire fences be true? If so, how could a facility like this exist in modern day America? Hundreds of staff tried to escape over the years. Some succeeded but were never seen or heard of again, most failed. Why were people kept here? What was it that went on at the headquarters of Scientology? This is the story of what happened behind the Iron Curtain of Scientology. "...the Scientology cult, is I guarantee you, a thousand times more bizarre than you could have ever imagined." The John & Ken Show, KFI AM 640 "Headley's book also provides stunning material that has rarely been collected in one place... a damning account of life working for Scientology leader David Miscavige at the secretive desert base..." Tony Ortega, The Village Voice "...a new book exposing alleged details about not just Scientology -- but Tom Cruise's association with the church -- is available..." The Washington Post "A big tip of the hat to Marc Headley, for publicly speaking the truth about Scientology..." Examiner.com "Marc Headley, a former insider at the church, has written a tell-all book...about his 15 years of work with Scientology. And folks...you can't handle the truth..." TheFrisky.com "...well-paced and an entertaining read." Perrybulwer.com
384 pages, Hardcover
First published November 5, 2009
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 127 reviews
June 4, 2014
Perhaps I'm biased but I did like this book, possibly because every chapter was named after a Depeche Mode song, but surely that couldn't have just been it?
I have an interest in cults, possibly because I was raised in quite a cultish religion myself; Jehovah's Witnesses. However much I find out about Scientology, I still couldn't quite fathom how they have such control over their members. Blown For Good sheds some light on the crazy mind-control that the 'church' has over it's followers.
Although this isn't the most well-written first hand account the lack of style also reflects the insanity that the author lived through. Sometimes the name drops get on your nerves (I do still shed a dry tear about the Gaimans, Ribisis and other families whose off-spring I respect for their contributions to my reading/viewing/listening pleasure) and you can get bogged down trying to understand all the crazy acronyms (and I work in education!) but the pages of acronyms in the glossary are some indication of how bonkers Scientology really is.
Of course I came to this book as a critic of Scientology but if you like to read books which make you gasp at 'man's inhumanity to man' and if you also dislike Tom Cruise intensely (as I do) then this is the book for you. I even shed a tear at the end :) (and not because it transpires that David Miscavage (COB) is a Depeche Mode fan).
I have an interest in cults, possibly because I was raised in quite a cultish religion myself; Jehovah's Witnesses. However much I find out about Scientology, I still couldn't quite fathom how they have such control over their members. Blown For Good sheds some light on the crazy mind-control that the 'church' has over it's followers.
Although this isn't the most well-written first hand account the lack of style also reflects the insanity that the author lived through. Sometimes the name drops get on your nerves (I do still shed a dry tear about the Gaimans, Ribisis and other families whose off-spring I respect for their contributions to my reading/viewing/listening pleasure) and you can get bogged down trying to understand all the crazy acronyms (and I work in education!) but the pages of acronyms in the glossary are some indication of how bonkers Scientology really is.
Of course I came to this book as a critic of Scientology but if you like to read books which make you gasp at 'man's inhumanity to man' and if you also dislike Tom Cruise intensely (as I do) then this is the book for you. I even shed a tear at the end :) (and not because it transpires that David Miscavage (COB) is a Depeche Mode fan).
August 9, 2010
Blown for Good was definitely in need of an editor to finesse it a bit, but the meat of the story (Headley's time at the Scientology compound in Hemet, CA and his interactions with the little despot/dictator/wannabe pope of Scientology David Miscavige) was fascinating and more than made up for the excessive amount of job-related details and somewhat amateurish writing style.
How this turd of a cult is allowed to function (and retain tax exemption status) in this country is beyond me.
How this turd of a cult is allowed to function (and retain tax exemption status) in this country is beyond me.
November 16, 2012
This is not a book for Scientology newbies. It's filled with Scientolog-ese and won't give you background on what Scientolgy is, its history, what's happening now, LHR, ect. It is, however, an excellent book for people wanting to know what things were like for the staff over at , through the 1990s up to... 2005ish? under David Miscavige, who is an incredible douche.
Image of incredible douche. I mean, just look at him! doooooooouuuche
Reading this book is not entertaining, though Headley does manage to keep his sense of humor despite being an overworked corporate drone/monk/slave for Scientology, Inc. "Overworked" here meaning "worked to exhaustion/unquestioning braindeadness at a compound you can't leave," ahhhhaaha. Abuses abound. However, sometimes something will come up that's like, OMG a big deal!!! but it's not really dealt with. Like COERCED ABORTIONS. Apparently Sea Org members (the previously mentioned overworked Scientology monks/slaves) were uh... strongly advised to not have children, like ever, and not let a little thing like pregnancy affect their childlessness. It's for the greaterprofit good! Uh... This BIG DEAL is like, one sentence, glossed over. There were also a couple of sentences about a young girl, about 8 or 9, scrubbing pots and pans and actually being IN the giant sink and you get the feeling that this was like, her JOB. Like, full-time not just helping out after the church Sunday potluck. BIG DEAL PEOPLE. But instead of more information about stuff like this, you'll have pages and pages and pages of detail about how hard it is to work to a deadline without proper financial/personnel support under managers who know how to do nothing but create a toxic workplace. Still...
A photo of the fence around Headley's toxic workplace.
I appreciate that Marc Headley shared his story in this book. Massive balls, man.
about the Headleys: Claire Headley had two abortions. The church requires Sea Org members with children to leave the order. She contended in her lawsuit her supervisors coerced her to terminate the pregnancies so she could remain in good standing and continue working. The church denied that, saying the abortions were her choice.
And if you're interested but I warn you it's filled with hardcore Scientology lingo as well as up to date complaints about CoS from Scientologists themselves.
Image of incredible douche. I mean, just look at him! doooooooouuuche
Reading this book is not entertaining, though Headley does manage to keep his sense of humor despite being an overworked corporate drone/monk/slave for Scientology, Inc. "Overworked" here meaning "worked to exhaustion/unquestioning braindeadness at a compound you can't leave," ahhhhaaha. Abuses abound. However, sometimes something will come up that's like, OMG a big deal!!! but it's not really dealt with. Like COERCED ABORTIONS. Apparently Sea Org members (the previously mentioned overworked Scientology monks/slaves) were uh... strongly advised to not have children, like ever, and not let a little thing like pregnancy affect their childlessness. It's for the greater
A photo of the fence around Headley's toxic workplace.
I appreciate that Marc Headley shared his story in this book. Massive balls, man.
about the Headleys: Claire Headley had two abortions. The church requires Sea Org members with children to leave the order. She contended in her lawsuit her supervisors coerced her to terminate the pregnancies so she could remain in good standing and continue working. The church denied that, saying the abortions were her choice.
And if you're interested but I warn you it's filled with hardcore Scientology lingo as well as up to date complaints about CoS from Scientologists themselves.
January 30, 2015
I have been researching Scientology for years, and this book is the most fascinating I have ever read about what it was like to be in Scientology from a young age and the horrific journey the author had to have in order to escape the "religion". Marc Headley has a good life with a wife (also an ex Scientologist with her own escape story) and three kids, but how he got to this point is part horror story, part terrifying yet exhilarating adventure. Headley was a child when his mother became heavily involved in the religion, so he grew up in Scientology. He was a member of Sea Org by the age of 15 working 100 hour weeks for little to no pay in oppressive conditions. I am halfway through right now, and I find it difficult to the put the book down. Headley writes in a clear and engaging manner and his book is the best I have read as far as getting an inside look into this secretive religion (a religion that worships no God unless you count Money and Power).
March 7, 2014
Let's get a few things out of the way first.
1) Yes, the writing is rough and the editing is bad. Please recognize that this is a self-published book written by someone who did not have the same educational opportunities as many people reviewing this book. Just deal.
2) There is a LOT of Scientology jargon. Again, just deal with it. 9 times out of 10 it's not completely integral to your understanding of events. Read over it or look it up in the glossary at the back.
3) This book is NOT going to tell you about what it means to be a believer of the Scientology faith. Beliefs, worship and and rites are not the subject of this autobiography. This is an account of what it's like to live life inside the confines of an oppressive cult. That's it.
I really enjoyed the book. I can't imagine living 15 years with that kind of verbal, mental and physical abuse. I hope that this can serve as a beacon of hope to other people in the same boat and that thy find their way out of the Scientology hell hole.
1) Yes, the writing is rough and the editing is bad. Please recognize that this is a self-published book written by someone who did not have the same educational opportunities as many people reviewing this book. Just deal.
2) There is a LOT of Scientology jargon. Again, just deal with it. 9 times out of 10 it's not completely integral to your understanding of events. Read over it or look it up in the glossary at the back.
3) This book is NOT going to tell you about what it means to be a believer of the Scientology faith. Beliefs, worship and and rites are not the subject of this autobiography. This is an account of what it's like to live life inside the confines of an oppressive cult. That's it.
I really enjoyed the book. I can't imagine living 15 years with that kind of verbal, mental and physical abuse. I hope that this can serve as a beacon of hope to other people in the same boat and that thy find their way out of the Scientology hell hole.
September 11, 2019
While informative, I was consistently jolted out of being engaged with Marc’s story by the disgusting way he talks about women and their bodies.
May 25, 2024
First, I watched Leah Remini: Scientology and the aftermath. Then I read her memoir, Troublemaker. I loved both. Seriously, if you want to go down a rabbit hole, check out either of those. During one of my rabbit hole moments, I was looking for other books by ex-Scientologists, and came across this one. I recognized this author’s name. He appears in Leah’s show.
While it’s been a while since I added this to my to-read list, I was excited to finally dig into it, and the absolutely fucking madness that is Scientology. It’s really sick, honestly. And so dangerous for the Sea Org members in particular, and Headley was one of those. I recognize his escape, or “blown� story from the show, but this book goes into how he ended up a member as a child, and how he found himself helpless to control his life as he kept getting pushed further and further over the “bridge�. He and many others endured so much abuse and inhumane conditions. I hope Scientology gets put to an end one day.
So this is kind of funny, I remember from watching the show that Scientology creates web page after web page to counteract and/or slander anyone who has left Scientology, or “blown� in order to ‘discredit them�. So I googled Marc Headley, as I often do when I’m reading anything non-fiction, and the first thing that came up was so CLEARLY developed by Scientology that I had to LAUGH.
This is so fascinating. I found some of his comments to be tasteless at a few moments, but I have to remind myself that he was literally brainwashed from a young age. I am happy he got out!
While it’s been a while since I added this to my to-read list, I was excited to finally dig into it, and the absolutely fucking madness that is Scientology. It’s really sick, honestly. And so dangerous for the Sea Org members in particular, and Headley was one of those. I recognize his escape, or “blown� story from the show, but this book goes into how he ended up a member as a child, and how he found himself helpless to control his life as he kept getting pushed further and further over the “bridge�. He and many others endured so much abuse and inhumane conditions. I hope Scientology gets put to an end one day.
So this is kind of funny, I remember from watching the show that Scientology creates web page after web page to counteract and/or slander anyone who has left Scientology, or “blown� in order to ‘discredit them�. So I googled Marc Headley, as I often do when I’m reading anything non-fiction, and the first thing that came up was so CLEARLY developed by Scientology that I had to LAUGH.
This is so fascinating. I found some of his comments to be tasteless at a few moments, but I have to remind myself that he was literally brainwashed from a young age. I am happy he got out!
May 6, 2015
A difficult and disturbing read because I believe it to be true.
Before reading "Blown for Good" I read Jenna Miscavige's book about her experiences with scientology. I came across it accidentally and decided to read it simply because I was curious. Having lived in Tampa about 30 minutes from the Clearwater location for over 20 years I was familiar with scientology but always thought it was a harmless group of self helpers. I could not have been more wrong.
There were times I had to force myself to continue reading "Blown for Good" because I was so disturbed by how horrific the conditions are in Scientology for it's most ardent supporters, members of the Sea Organization. While reading Jenna's book I felt mostly anger. Her childhood was stolen from her, she was clearly brainwashed and mentally tortured. Although I understand her parents were also brainwashed they should have protected her. That makes me angry.
Marc Headly's story is also infuriating but there is whole other element to his tale that literally made me feel physically ill. Forcing people to work with no sleep and little food on tasks that no well rested, nourished human could possibly complete in the time frame given, is enough to make you question the humanity of this "church." Then it becomes clear that these tasks are intentionally designed to be impossible so that when the workers fail David Miscavige has an excuse to punish them. Punishments are not only harsh but are demeaning and twisted. Forcing people to run for hours in the dark, sleep on gravel and play a violent game of musical chairs where all the losers are told they will be shipped off to foreign countries never to see their families again is certainly disturbing. But punishing them by forcing them to pick up dried human excrement with their bare hands for 8-10 hours at a time is unfathomable. These are just a few examples Marc Headley describes where Sea Org members are physically and mentally tortured by this cult and yes Scientology is a cult. If this were the only book I read on the subject I would have my doubts but I have done some research. The same stories are told over and over again by other people who also escaped. They can't all be lying. Also Scientology controls it's members through classic cult like manipulation, sleep deprivation, starvation, verbal abuse designed to destroy self esteem, separation from the outside world, poor nutrition and of course brainwashing. Again it is not just Jenna Miscavige and Marc Headly telling the world about the the cult like atmosphere in Scientology. Go online and read and if at all possible watch the HBO special "Going Clear."
Also please google Tom Cruise and his Scientology rant. I have no words to describe how odd his behavior is in this video. Clearly you do not have to be a Sea Org member to experience some Scientology brainwashing. I have to wonder if the "famous" public scientologists know what really happens at their compounds? Tom Cruise says it is a "privilege" to call himself a Scientologist. Great, fabulous let's see him spend a year in the Sea Org sleeping on a cot in rooms with 4 or 5 other guys , making less than an $1.00 an hour, working 20 hour days fixing up John Travolta's mansion and scarfing down all his crappy meals in15 minutes. Who would ever want to live like that if not brainwashed into believing you are a thetan and this lifestyle is the only way to save the world? It is simply absurd. Tom Cruise uses his fame to endorse Davis Miscavige and Scientology. Does he not have a moral responsibility to investigate the allegations of abuse and if found to be true help stop it?
I suppose I went off on my own rant while doing a book review but my rant is indicative of how much Marc Headly's story affected me. It is unnerving to think that heinous people like David Miscavige exist and that they have control over others. To anyone who blew like Marc Headley I applaud your courage. The fear of retaliation alone must have been paralyzing but to also start over from scratch takes tremendous strength and character. I sincerely hope this book helps expose this cult and David Miscavige is one day held accountable for his crimes.
Before reading "Blown for Good" I read Jenna Miscavige's book about her experiences with scientology. I came across it accidentally and decided to read it simply because I was curious. Having lived in Tampa about 30 minutes from the Clearwater location for over 20 years I was familiar with scientology but always thought it was a harmless group of self helpers. I could not have been more wrong.
There were times I had to force myself to continue reading "Blown for Good" because I was so disturbed by how horrific the conditions are in Scientology for it's most ardent supporters, members of the Sea Organization. While reading Jenna's book I felt mostly anger. Her childhood was stolen from her, she was clearly brainwashed and mentally tortured. Although I understand her parents were also brainwashed they should have protected her. That makes me angry.
Marc Headly's story is also infuriating but there is whole other element to his tale that literally made me feel physically ill. Forcing people to work with no sleep and little food on tasks that no well rested, nourished human could possibly complete in the time frame given, is enough to make you question the humanity of this "church." Then it becomes clear that these tasks are intentionally designed to be impossible so that when the workers fail David Miscavige has an excuse to punish them. Punishments are not only harsh but are demeaning and twisted. Forcing people to run for hours in the dark, sleep on gravel and play a violent game of musical chairs where all the losers are told they will be shipped off to foreign countries never to see their families again is certainly disturbing. But punishing them by forcing them to pick up dried human excrement with their bare hands for 8-10 hours at a time is unfathomable. These are just a few examples Marc Headley describes where Sea Org members are physically and mentally tortured by this cult and yes Scientology is a cult. If this were the only book I read on the subject I would have my doubts but I have done some research. The same stories are told over and over again by other people who also escaped. They can't all be lying. Also Scientology controls it's members through classic cult like manipulation, sleep deprivation, starvation, verbal abuse designed to destroy self esteem, separation from the outside world, poor nutrition and of course brainwashing. Again it is not just Jenna Miscavige and Marc Headly telling the world about the the cult like atmosphere in Scientology. Go online and read and if at all possible watch the HBO special "Going Clear."
Also please google Tom Cruise and his Scientology rant. I have no words to describe how odd his behavior is in this video. Clearly you do not have to be a Sea Org member to experience some Scientology brainwashing. I have to wonder if the "famous" public scientologists know what really happens at their compounds? Tom Cruise says it is a "privilege" to call himself a Scientologist. Great, fabulous let's see him spend a year in the Sea Org sleeping on a cot in rooms with 4 or 5 other guys , making less than an $1.00 an hour, working 20 hour days fixing up John Travolta's mansion and scarfing down all his crappy meals in15 minutes. Who would ever want to live like that if not brainwashed into believing you are a thetan and this lifestyle is the only way to save the world? It is simply absurd. Tom Cruise uses his fame to endorse Davis Miscavige and Scientology. Does he not have a moral responsibility to investigate the allegations of abuse and if found to be true help stop it?
I suppose I went off on my own rant while doing a book review but my rant is indicative of how much Marc Headly's story affected me. It is unnerving to think that heinous people like David Miscavige exist and that they have control over others. To anyone who blew like Marc Headley I applaud your courage. The fear of retaliation alone must have been paralyzing but to also start over from scratch takes tremendous strength and character. I sincerely hope this book helps expose this cult and David Miscavige is one day held accountable for his crimes.
March 11, 2022
I’ve read numerous books about Scientology, and this is far from the best written one, as others have noted here. But even what there is to appreciate is overshadowed by the crass and frequent characterization of women by the author as sexual objects. In the beginning I thought it was a tool to expose his thinking process as a teenager at the start of his tenure in the Sea Org, but it seems to get worse as the book carries on. I’d say the book is in desperate need of some good editing, but the author demonstrating some respect for women as fellow humans would be a better first step.
Instead, consider the titles from Janet Reitman (Inside Scientology), Lawrence Wright (Going Clear), Leah Remini (Troublemaker), Jenna Miscavige Hill (Beyond Belief), or Ron Miscavige (Ruthless).
Instead, consider the titles from Janet Reitman (Inside Scientology), Lawrence Wright (Going Clear), Leah Remini (Troublemaker), Jenna Miscavige Hill (Beyond Belief), or Ron Miscavige (Ruthless).
January 9, 2020
I get that this dude was locked up for almost two decades but could he possibly chill with the gross sexist language.
Other than that, it was a super interesting look into the Int base, though kind of hard to follow in audiobook form with all the acronyms. The one thing he never shortened was the rpf (rehabilitation program force or something like that) which is one I would have known. Kind of irritating. Like it held more weight if he didn’t shorten it or something.
Idk. Good book, good ending, annoying language.
Other than that, it was a super interesting look into the Int base, though kind of hard to follow in audiobook form with all the acronyms. The one thing he never shortened was the rpf (rehabilitation program force or something like that) which is one I would have known. Kind of irritating. Like it held more weight if he didn’t shorten it or something.
Idk. Good book, good ending, annoying language.
September 26, 2012
This book, written by a former Scientologist, was very interesting as far as it went. The author, no doubt, is afraid of his and his wife's families being punished (they are still Scientologists) by L. Ron Hubbard's successor, David Miscavige, who took the reins in 1986, after Hubbard died. He is considered the Chairman of the Board (or COB; this group is big on acronyms). Marc Headley and his wife were very fortunate to get out of this pseudo-religion, as far as I am concerned. The title of the book, "Blown for Good" refers to their experience. The term "blown" is akin to the military's AWOL. Hubbard himself had been in the US Navy. Once someone is blown, their Scientologists friends and family members are no longer allowed to communicate with them in any way. Personally, I am amazed that the IRS declared Scientology a non-taxable entity in the 90s, since it truly has very little to do with religion. Most of its members are current Scientologists' family members, besides the high profile members such as Tom Cruise, John Travolta and others. The way Marc Headley depicted Tom Cruise in this book, one would think David Miscavige thinks the actor is a god! I presume that celebrity members have NO idea of the grueling treatment that these people who work at the Gilman Hot Springs compound near Hemet undergo. Most of them sleep only 3 to 4 hours per night, have to eat their meals AND take breaks within a 30 minute period. Often, many of them are out of luck for even getting a shower. The bunkers they live in are overcrowded with anywhere from four to 12 people in a very small room. The average rate of pay is around $35 per week; that is, if they are paid at all. In order to get to the advanced levels (thetan) of Scientology, one must pay for courses that cost at least $300,000, so this is not a "religion" for those who are not well to do.
Last week I read Maureen Orth's article on Vanity Fair regarding Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and the fact that David Miscavige is actively helping him seek a new Scientologist wife. Miscovige has threatened to sue, but I doubt anything will come of it as in this book, written in 2008, talked about Miscavige's helping Cruise search for a wife after he broke up with Penelope Cruz (this was after Nicole Kidman wanted nothing more to do with Scientology, and a divorce resulted). The situation now is "deja vu all over again".
After researching a lot of sources on the Internet, I came to find out that L. Ron Hubbard, best known for his pulp sci-fi and westerns, was also a racist and a homophobe. Personally, I think he was probably mentally unstable and that is the reason why he had a rabid hate for anything psychiatric. I am not saying I believe everything that comes out of psychiatry at all, but Hubbard and the current Scientologists still won't have anything to do with them. In fact, they have their own "counseling" sessions. The following is some information I have gathered about a 36 year old woman who died of a pulmonary embolism while she was undergoing this "counseling." (From Wikipedia).
"Lisa McPherson (February 10, 1959 � December 5, 1995) was a member of the Church of Scientology who died of a pulmonary embolism while under the care of the Flag Service Organization (FSO), a branch of the Church of Scientology. Following the report of the state's medical examiner that indicated that Lisa was a victim of negligent homicide,[1] the Church of Scientology was indicted on two felony charges, "abuse and/or neglect of a disabled adult" and "practicing medicine without a license."
The charges against the Church of Scientology were dropped after the state's medical examiner changed the cause of death from "undetermined" to an "accident" on June 13, 2000. A civil suit brought by her family against the Church was settled on May 28, 2004."
Mr. Headley also states in his book that Mr. David Miscavige has a very bad anger problem, and has been known to punch people, throw things at them and verbally abuse them in many different ways. It sounds like he is a bit on the insane side himself.
Now, as far as Scientology being a religion goes, it is more like Jim Jones' People's Temple than any other organized group. In any legitimate religion, a person is free to decide whether it works for them or not. Except for the high profile Hollywood members, NONE of the members are allowed to leave. In the news just last week, a 14 year old girl refused to sign a billion year contract, and her mother threw her out of the house (she lived in a family of Scientologists.) Unfortunately, this is not uncommon. It is ridiculous to sign such a "contract" as this when a human life span averages about 85 years or so. Of course, Scientology's answer is their belief in reincarnation and alien interference. It certainly differes from the Buddhist view of reincarnation!!
Anyway, I enjoyed reading this book on my Kindle Fire, although since it is one of the first ones out, it did have some grammatical errors and typos in it. But then, I have seen these in print books also. Kudos to Mr. Headley for having the courage to write as much as he could about the lies he was taught since the age of about 13.
Last week I read Maureen Orth's article on Vanity Fair regarding Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and the fact that David Miscavige is actively helping him seek a new Scientologist wife. Miscovige has threatened to sue, but I doubt anything will come of it as in this book, written in 2008, talked about Miscavige's helping Cruise search for a wife after he broke up with Penelope Cruz (this was after Nicole Kidman wanted nothing more to do with Scientology, and a divorce resulted). The situation now is "deja vu all over again".
After researching a lot of sources on the Internet, I came to find out that L. Ron Hubbard, best known for his pulp sci-fi and westerns, was also a racist and a homophobe. Personally, I think he was probably mentally unstable and that is the reason why he had a rabid hate for anything psychiatric. I am not saying I believe everything that comes out of psychiatry at all, but Hubbard and the current Scientologists still won't have anything to do with them. In fact, they have their own "counseling" sessions. The following is some information I have gathered about a 36 year old woman who died of a pulmonary embolism while she was undergoing this "counseling." (From Wikipedia).
"Lisa McPherson (February 10, 1959 � December 5, 1995) was a member of the Church of Scientology who died of a pulmonary embolism while under the care of the Flag Service Organization (FSO), a branch of the Church of Scientology. Following the report of the state's medical examiner that indicated that Lisa was a victim of negligent homicide,[1] the Church of Scientology was indicted on two felony charges, "abuse and/or neglect of a disabled adult" and "practicing medicine without a license."
The charges against the Church of Scientology were dropped after the state's medical examiner changed the cause of death from "undetermined" to an "accident" on June 13, 2000. A civil suit brought by her family against the Church was settled on May 28, 2004."
Mr. Headley also states in his book that Mr. David Miscavige has a very bad anger problem, and has been known to punch people, throw things at them and verbally abuse them in many different ways. It sounds like he is a bit on the insane side himself.
Now, as far as Scientology being a religion goes, it is more like Jim Jones' People's Temple than any other organized group. In any legitimate religion, a person is free to decide whether it works for them or not. Except for the high profile Hollywood members, NONE of the members are allowed to leave. In the news just last week, a 14 year old girl refused to sign a billion year contract, and her mother threw her out of the house (she lived in a family of Scientologists.) Unfortunately, this is not uncommon. It is ridiculous to sign such a "contract" as this when a human life span averages about 85 years or so. Of course, Scientology's answer is their belief in reincarnation and alien interference. It certainly differes from the Buddhist view of reincarnation!!
Anyway, I enjoyed reading this book on my Kindle Fire, although since it is one of the first ones out, it did have some grammatical errors and typos in it. But then, I have seen these in print books also. Kudos to Mr. Headley for having the courage to write as much as he could about the lies he was taught since the age of about 13.
March 27, 2020
A terrifying look into the world of Scientology. I will agree with a lot of people on here that this could of used a little more editing at times. I can get over it’s short comings as it’s almost unbelievable what happen to the author and truly sheds the cartoonish goofy exterior of this cult. I’d recommend this to anyone who wants to learn the inner workings of Scientology.
May 26, 2024
A HARROWING ACCOUNT OF 15 YEARS IN SCIENTOLOGY
In the ‘Author’s Note� to this 2010 book, Marc Headley wrote, “At the age of 16, I started working for Scientology in Los Angeles. Soon I was promoted up the ranks and within one year I was placed at � the International Headquarters (Int Base) in Hemet, California, where I would spend the next fifteen years� [which] would eventually result in my isolation and total disconnection from my friends and family for the rest of my life. When I eventually left in 2005, it took me over a year to speak out about my experiences as Scientology staff member, the abuse and the inner workings of the Sea Organization� Everything that I have written in this book are my own experiences and my opinion of what happened to me. I have detailed the working conditions and labor practices of my former employers� My experience[s] � have been chronicled to expose the inner workings of the institution and to shed some light on the internal abuse, discrimination and mistreatment within the organization.�
The book begins with harrowing account of Headley’s escape from Scientology on a motorcycle, where he was run off the road by a van of Scientology security forces, who try to force him to return; fortunately, he was basically rescued by cops, and his escape succeeded. He then begins recounting his experiences.
He explains, “The IAS is the International Association of Scientologists. Mostly, they go around getting rich Scientologists to donate money to support legal battles. This was not a good scene� The only way you get these people to leave is to give them money, and lots of it. Apparently, there was never enough money to ‘Clear the Planet,� the Scientology battle cry for saving mankind� Flag is called ‘Flag� because when L. Ron Hubbard founded the Sea Organization in the 1960s, he did so at sea� The ship in which Hubbard worked was known as the Flag ship and he was referred to as the Commodore of the fleet. When the Sea Organization moved ashore in the 1970s, they moved their operations to Clearwater and never changed the name� They had several buildings and all were filled with Sea Org members dressed in navy like uniforms. They even went to far as to have rank insignias and Sea Org officers wore shoulder boards and gold braid lanyards.� (Pg. 38)
He recalls of his teenage years, “They told me that the Association for Better Living and Education [ABLE] was different than other Sea Org units� I had seen Sea Org members for years and hated that they had no money, no time to themselves and lived with fifty other people in filthy rooms that were overcrowded. I wanted nothing to do with that. ABLE staff got minimum wage� Also, since I was almost 16, I could stop going to school legally� I could go off and be at Narconon Chilocco and help people get off drugs� The recruiters made it seem like the solution to all the problems that I had� I decided I would join.� (Pg. 48)
A co-worker tells him about the Rehabilitation Project Force (RPF): “‘They do drywall, electrical, plumbing� They also do the really super nasty jobs like clean out the trash compactors or manure the lawns. If someone really screwed up on the RPF, then the whole group of them get punished and are forced to do things like scrub tiles with toothbrushes.� � It was also a message to all Sea Org members � ‘Don’t end up on the RPF!� � if they really screwed up bad, they would be sent to the RPF’s RPF� The penalties and punishments were worse than they were within the normal RPF…� (Pg. 59-60)
He records, “There was also the matter of statistics� Every single Scientology organization in the world had to report their statistics each week� All of these statistics from all around the world were being funneled to a great big think tank that would analyze the statistics and give direction on how to get them back up from going down or further up� I had to make sure that I kept track of all of the stats I was responsible for or heavy penalties would be assessed.� (Pg. 64)
When he was to go to the Int Base, “A black gal � met me in the clearance unit. She stood out because there were only about 10 black people that I had ever seen in Scientology, so I remembered that I had seen this woman around. She had a few gold bars on her shoulder boards and everyone was always calling her ‘Sir.� In the Sea Org you call any senior officer ‘Sir� regardless of their sex.� (Pg. 81-82)
He recounts the rules that applied at the Int Base, which included: �*No one could know that the base was located in Hemet� *No one could know that International Management of Scientology was here� *When in town for any reason, any name tags had to be removed� *No outside calls were to be made from payphones off the property. *All personal mail was to be mailed in unsealed envelopes� Security � would read it, and if it was up to security standards, it would be sealed and sent. *Someone from Security would monitor all phone calls in or out of the base� *No documents of any kind were ever to leave the base� *Nothing � pertaining to the base cold be spoken about while off the premises� *Anyone who left the base without authorization would be considered ‘blown,� the equivalent of what the military would refer to as AWOL…� (Pg. 95-96)
A coworker told him that “In the early 1980s, Hubbard was being hunted by FBI, CIA, IRS, you name it. No one knew where he was� except a few people that worked directly with him� LRH did not want anyone to think he was running the organization or any of its management. The government was trying to show that he was � making all this money from Scientology. So even though he was still directly involved with telling people what to do and how to run things, ‘officially� he was not� That is why there was all this cloak and dagger stuff going on around here. No one could know that anyone from the Int Base was in touch with LRH� So it was decided that the best way to make sure that the people from Int Base did not talk about anything to anyone, was to keep them all locked up here on a full time basis� But then there were a few cases where people went crazy and then ended up blowing or breaking out or whatever.� (Pg. 97-
98)
He recalls, “I was pressured to do the auditing first and was told that this was a ‘once in a lifetime opportunity.� � my auditor was going to be Tom Cruise� Tom Cruise was coming to do his Academy Levels. He was going to do his auditor training and he needed someone to audit and this person had to be very low on the bridge. That was me.� (Pg. 115) He continues, “This went on every weekday for a few months until he was done with his introductory auditor training� After that, I was watched over to make sure that I did not end up in big trouble, because after all, I was the guy that Tom Cruise audited. If I went south� it would be blamed on my auditor, Tom Cruise. That could never happen.� (Pg. 119)
He explains, “we had our list of drills that would go into place based on various emergencies� Blow Drill was to recover and bring back runaway staff. This drill mainly involved Security. The security guards would try and figure out when the person blew, from where and how� Security would go through the person’s personnel file and try to find out where their closest relatives lived to provide locations to check for the person� This drill would continue in full effect until the person was located and brought back to the base.� (Pg. 145-146)
He notes, “[Scientology leader David] Miscavage had been buried in some major legal proceedings and we didn’t see him much. We liked it that way. If he was occupied, then the base staff could get on with their work. It was a pure nightmare when he was around� When Miscavage was at the base, it was like the base was frozen over and nothing would get done.� (Pg. 167) At the 1993 Scientology event at the Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena to announce that ‘The War [with the IRS] is over!], “The even opened with a laser light show and a flag twirling honor guard procession. Then Dave Miscavage talked for two hours. Most of us couldn’t understand a word he said. The audio in the Sports Arena was horrible � So a thousand people heard what he said and the rest of us just clapped when we saw the people in the floor sections clapping.� (Pg. 171)
He points out, “After the 1993 � event� it seemed like Dave Miscavage had nothing to do anymore. He was getting more and more involved with everything happening at the base. From technical revisions of courses to the color � of the carpet in the dining hall, Dave had to approve it or dictate what it would be� He controlled ever single aspect of all operations and any major decisions were made by him.� (Pg. 179) Later, he adds, “Dave had managed to take anything � ‘friendly� or ‘personal� out of Scientology. It was now a machine that had one route and one answer, and that answer was being programmed into every staff member� everyone that had anything to do with Scientology. If you did not follow the exact route� you went to Ethics, no exceptions� The thought process had been taken out of the equation.� (Pg. 183)
He comments that in 1995 “Lisa McPherson, one of the few people that Dave Miscavage had been personally overseeing and supervising, had died. Dave knew he was personally involved in this one� Any traces of Lisa were erased. People were given an official story of what happened even if they thought differently from what they had witnessed. Dave Miscavage had messed up big time. He knew it, and a lot of people that worked with him � knew it�. There are at least five people that know the truth about what happened to Lisa McPherson. These people will eventually tell their stories and the truth will come out� I am sure their hesitation stemmed from concern they would end up just like Lisa if they did so.� (Pg. 184)
At one point, he and his coworkers displeased Miscavage about the end sequence of a training film they had worked on, and they were punished: “You have never felt pain until you have spent sixteen hours on your hands and knees scrubbing floor tiles with a tiny toothbrush� Day after day, week after week, we followed the same routine. Not allowed to talk with other staff, not allowed to go back to our own homes or berthing� It was about two months before we were allowed to return to our normal duties and return to our own beds to sleep. Not one of us ever did admit to any crimes and nothing ever came of anything� We were given no explanation as to why we were allowed to go back to post, no nothing. Just go back to your life as if nothing had happened.� (Pg. 204-205)
He was once punished by having to clear out the aeration ponds. When he was done, “I thought of how I would one day escape this place and write about this experience� I took a two-hour showed to try to get the stench off me. It did not work� it took a week for all of the cr-p to work its way out of my pores, nose, throat, and ears� It was the most disgusting, humiliating experience of my entire life.� (Pg. 235)
He states, “[Certain staff] were regularly receiving huge production bonuses and large cash payments for the stellar statistics� They had started a lie that could not be undone. It was for this reason that they started comparing statistics to well known landmarks and cooking up how things could be conveyed to make them sound better than they ever were. Marc Yager was the undisputed king of this. We would take a stat� and turn it into the biggest expansion ever realized. Even though it was drastically down from the year before.� (Pg. 238)
He recounts an incident where David Miscavage accused him of being unable to make a projected release date, and “As the first fist hit my face I was unsure what was happening. After the second and third blows his, there was no question. [Miscavage] was punching me in the face!... Once I righted myself and Dave had stopped punching me, he took a step back... I looked right into his eyes and started to advance towards him slowly. ‘I am sorry, Mark, I should not have done that…� Dave said frantically. I was immediately grabbed by three people� ‘Did you see that? He was actually going to hit me just then!� Dave said as I made my way out the door. ‘You bet I was,� I said under my breath…� (Pg. 264)
After he had made his escape, a Scientologist friend tried to talk him into returning, but Marc replies, “I cannot believe that I ever stayed there that long. After a few days of sleeping and proper food, I feel like I have come out of a trance� I have literally woken up!... I was unable to leave that place for fifteen years and that only thing holding me there was that I was told that if I left, all these bad things would happen to me, I would not be able to get a job, I would be a bum� Well I left� I have been sleeping and eating. I am working and making more in our hour than I was making in a week. Yeah it is really terrible on the outside.� (Pg. 328) Ultimately, his wife escaped as well.
He concludes, “Since the initial release of [this book], I have received hundreds of messages from Scientologists thanking me for writing it. It appears it has answered enough questions they have had to be able to decide to leave the organization� Many people have asked me if I will continue to speak out against the wrongdoings of the Scientology organization� the deal I made with myself is that when I stop having Scientology related nightmares about being recaptured and brought back to the Int Base, I will move on and do something else.� (Pg. 345)
This is one of the most insightful Scientology ‘exposés� in print, and will be of great interest to anyone seeking such critiques.
In the ‘Author’s Note� to this 2010 book, Marc Headley wrote, “At the age of 16, I started working for Scientology in Los Angeles. Soon I was promoted up the ranks and within one year I was placed at � the International Headquarters (Int Base) in Hemet, California, where I would spend the next fifteen years� [which] would eventually result in my isolation and total disconnection from my friends and family for the rest of my life. When I eventually left in 2005, it took me over a year to speak out about my experiences as Scientology staff member, the abuse and the inner workings of the Sea Organization� Everything that I have written in this book are my own experiences and my opinion of what happened to me. I have detailed the working conditions and labor practices of my former employers� My experience[s] � have been chronicled to expose the inner workings of the institution and to shed some light on the internal abuse, discrimination and mistreatment within the organization.�
The book begins with harrowing account of Headley’s escape from Scientology on a motorcycle, where he was run off the road by a van of Scientology security forces, who try to force him to return; fortunately, he was basically rescued by cops, and his escape succeeded. He then begins recounting his experiences.
He explains, “The IAS is the International Association of Scientologists. Mostly, they go around getting rich Scientologists to donate money to support legal battles. This was not a good scene� The only way you get these people to leave is to give them money, and lots of it. Apparently, there was never enough money to ‘Clear the Planet,� the Scientology battle cry for saving mankind� Flag is called ‘Flag� because when L. Ron Hubbard founded the Sea Organization in the 1960s, he did so at sea� The ship in which Hubbard worked was known as the Flag ship and he was referred to as the Commodore of the fleet. When the Sea Organization moved ashore in the 1970s, they moved their operations to Clearwater and never changed the name� They had several buildings and all were filled with Sea Org members dressed in navy like uniforms. They even went to far as to have rank insignias and Sea Org officers wore shoulder boards and gold braid lanyards.� (Pg. 38)
He recalls of his teenage years, “They told me that the Association for Better Living and Education [ABLE] was different than other Sea Org units� I had seen Sea Org members for years and hated that they had no money, no time to themselves and lived with fifty other people in filthy rooms that were overcrowded. I wanted nothing to do with that. ABLE staff got minimum wage� Also, since I was almost 16, I could stop going to school legally� I could go off and be at Narconon Chilocco and help people get off drugs� The recruiters made it seem like the solution to all the problems that I had� I decided I would join.� (Pg. 48)
A co-worker tells him about the Rehabilitation Project Force (RPF): “‘They do drywall, electrical, plumbing� They also do the really super nasty jobs like clean out the trash compactors or manure the lawns. If someone really screwed up on the RPF, then the whole group of them get punished and are forced to do things like scrub tiles with toothbrushes.� � It was also a message to all Sea Org members � ‘Don’t end up on the RPF!� � if they really screwed up bad, they would be sent to the RPF’s RPF� The penalties and punishments were worse than they were within the normal RPF…� (Pg. 59-60)
He records, “There was also the matter of statistics� Every single Scientology organization in the world had to report their statistics each week� All of these statistics from all around the world were being funneled to a great big think tank that would analyze the statistics and give direction on how to get them back up from going down or further up� I had to make sure that I kept track of all of the stats I was responsible for or heavy penalties would be assessed.� (Pg. 64)
When he was to go to the Int Base, “A black gal � met me in the clearance unit. She stood out because there were only about 10 black people that I had ever seen in Scientology, so I remembered that I had seen this woman around. She had a few gold bars on her shoulder boards and everyone was always calling her ‘Sir.� In the Sea Org you call any senior officer ‘Sir� regardless of their sex.� (Pg. 81-82)
He recounts the rules that applied at the Int Base, which included: �*No one could know that the base was located in Hemet� *No one could know that International Management of Scientology was here� *When in town for any reason, any name tags had to be removed� *No outside calls were to be made from payphones off the property. *All personal mail was to be mailed in unsealed envelopes� Security � would read it, and if it was up to security standards, it would be sealed and sent. *Someone from Security would monitor all phone calls in or out of the base� *No documents of any kind were ever to leave the base� *Nothing � pertaining to the base cold be spoken about while off the premises� *Anyone who left the base without authorization would be considered ‘blown,� the equivalent of what the military would refer to as AWOL…� (Pg. 95-96)
A coworker told him that “In the early 1980s, Hubbard was being hunted by FBI, CIA, IRS, you name it. No one knew where he was� except a few people that worked directly with him� LRH did not want anyone to think he was running the organization or any of its management. The government was trying to show that he was � making all this money from Scientology. So even though he was still directly involved with telling people what to do and how to run things, ‘officially� he was not� That is why there was all this cloak and dagger stuff going on around here. No one could know that anyone from the Int Base was in touch with LRH� So it was decided that the best way to make sure that the people from Int Base did not talk about anything to anyone, was to keep them all locked up here on a full time basis� But then there were a few cases where people went crazy and then ended up blowing or breaking out or whatever.� (Pg. 97-
98)
He recalls, “I was pressured to do the auditing first and was told that this was a ‘once in a lifetime opportunity.� � my auditor was going to be Tom Cruise� Tom Cruise was coming to do his Academy Levels. He was going to do his auditor training and he needed someone to audit and this person had to be very low on the bridge. That was me.� (Pg. 115) He continues, “This went on every weekday for a few months until he was done with his introductory auditor training� After that, I was watched over to make sure that I did not end up in big trouble, because after all, I was the guy that Tom Cruise audited. If I went south� it would be blamed on my auditor, Tom Cruise. That could never happen.� (Pg. 119)
He explains, “we had our list of drills that would go into place based on various emergencies� Blow Drill was to recover and bring back runaway staff. This drill mainly involved Security. The security guards would try and figure out when the person blew, from where and how� Security would go through the person’s personnel file and try to find out where their closest relatives lived to provide locations to check for the person� This drill would continue in full effect until the person was located and brought back to the base.� (Pg. 145-146)
He notes, “[Scientology leader David] Miscavage had been buried in some major legal proceedings and we didn’t see him much. We liked it that way. If he was occupied, then the base staff could get on with their work. It was a pure nightmare when he was around� When Miscavage was at the base, it was like the base was frozen over and nothing would get done.� (Pg. 167) At the 1993 Scientology event at the Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena to announce that ‘The War [with the IRS] is over!], “The even opened with a laser light show and a flag twirling honor guard procession. Then Dave Miscavage talked for two hours. Most of us couldn’t understand a word he said. The audio in the Sports Arena was horrible � So a thousand people heard what he said and the rest of us just clapped when we saw the people in the floor sections clapping.� (Pg. 171)
He points out, “After the 1993 � event� it seemed like Dave Miscavage had nothing to do anymore. He was getting more and more involved with everything happening at the base. From technical revisions of courses to the color � of the carpet in the dining hall, Dave had to approve it or dictate what it would be� He controlled ever single aspect of all operations and any major decisions were made by him.� (Pg. 179) Later, he adds, “Dave had managed to take anything � ‘friendly� or ‘personal� out of Scientology. It was now a machine that had one route and one answer, and that answer was being programmed into every staff member� everyone that had anything to do with Scientology. If you did not follow the exact route� you went to Ethics, no exceptions� The thought process had been taken out of the equation.� (Pg. 183)
He comments that in 1995 “Lisa McPherson, one of the few people that Dave Miscavage had been personally overseeing and supervising, had died. Dave knew he was personally involved in this one� Any traces of Lisa were erased. People were given an official story of what happened even if they thought differently from what they had witnessed. Dave Miscavage had messed up big time. He knew it, and a lot of people that worked with him � knew it�. There are at least five people that know the truth about what happened to Lisa McPherson. These people will eventually tell their stories and the truth will come out� I am sure their hesitation stemmed from concern they would end up just like Lisa if they did so.� (Pg. 184)
At one point, he and his coworkers displeased Miscavage about the end sequence of a training film they had worked on, and they were punished: “You have never felt pain until you have spent sixteen hours on your hands and knees scrubbing floor tiles with a tiny toothbrush� Day after day, week after week, we followed the same routine. Not allowed to talk with other staff, not allowed to go back to our own homes or berthing� It was about two months before we were allowed to return to our normal duties and return to our own beds to sleep. Not one of us ever did admit to any crimes and nothing ever came of anything� We were given no explanation as to why we were allowed to go back to post, no nothing. Just go back to your life as if nothing had happened.� (Pg. 204-205)
He was once punished by having to clear out the aeration ponds. When he was done, “I thought of how I would one day escape this place and write about this experience� I took a two-hour showed to try to get the stench off me. It did not work� it took a week for all of the cr-p to work its way out of my pores, nose, throat, and ears� It was the most disgusting, humiliating experience of my entire life.� (Pg. 235)
He states, “[Certain staff] were regularly receiving huge production bonuses and large cash payments for the stellar statistics� They had started a lie that could not be undone. It was for this reason that they started comparing statistics to well known landmarks and cooking up how things could be conveyed to make them sound better than they ever were. Marc Yager was the undisputed king of this. We would take a stat� and turn it into the biggest expansion ever realized. Even though it was drastically down from the year before.� (Pg. 238)
He recounts an incident where David Miscavage accused him of being unable to make a projected release date, and “As the first fist hit my face I was unsure what was happening. After the second and third blows his, there was no question. [Miscavage] was punching me in the face!... Once I righted myself and Dave had stopped punching me, he took a step back... I looked right into his eyes and started to advance towards him slowly. ‘I am sorry, Mark, I should not have done that…� Dave said frantically. I was immediately grabbed by three people� ‘Did you see that? He was actually going to hit me just then!� Dave said as I made my way out the door. ‘You bet I was,� I said under my breath…� (Pg. 264)
After he had made his escape, a Scientologist friend tried to talk him into returning, but Marc replies, “I cannot believe that I ever stayed there that long. After a few days of sleeping and proper food, I feel like I have come out of a trance� I have literally woken up!... I was unable to leave that place for fifteen years and that only thing holding me there was that I was told that if I left, all these bad things would happen to me, I would not be able to get a job, I would be a bum� Well I left� I have been sleeping and eating. I am working and making more in our hour than I was making in a week. Yeah it is really terrible on the outside.� (Pg. 328) Ultimately, his wife escaped as well.
He concludes, “Since the initial release of [this book], I have received hundreds of messages from Scientologists thanking me for writing it. It appears it has answered enough questions they have had to be able to decide to leave the organization� Many people have asked me if I will continue to speak out against the wrongdoings of the Scientology organization� the deal I made with myself is that when I stop having Scientology related nightmares about being recaptured and brought back to the Int Base, I will move on and do something else.� (Pg. 345)
This is one of the most insightful Scientology ‘exposés� in print, and will be of great interest to anyone seeking such critiques.
November 28, 2017
Really interesting. Not sure why anyone is still in Scientology.....
October 9, 2022
Good parts of this book: it was extremely detailed of many aspects of working in the upper levels of Scientology, and really answered my nagging question of "what do those people actually DO all day in Scientology?" I had read Leah Remini's book already, and watched the Aftermath tv show, and I had heard so many people describe working all day as Scientology Sea Org members (9am to midnight was the often quoted timeline), 7 days a week, but I couldn't picture what that actually meant in practicality. This book definitely shined a clear light on that. I also was very happy to hear the full details of how Marc and Clare actually escaped. The basic info was shared on the Aftermath, but the full story is written out here. There was also a lot of very interesting details on Tom Cruise's involvement/impact on Scientology and David Miscavige which was pretty wild.
Bad parts: It's not well written. Sorry Marc! The writing is at a very amateur level, like someone writing in a diary or just verbally speaking to a friend. This made the flow of the book difficult at times to follow. Scientology is full of jargon and abbreviations, and while they were all defined at least once in the book, they are continually used to the point of confusion at times. Not that using the abbreviations was wrong necessarily, but it's just another situation where better editing would have made a huge difference. The other major con of this book is the way women and actions toward women are described. I totally get that in terms of describing the abusive living conditions at the base and the general atmosphere of being around cruel people, there were plenty of incidents where the author may have simply been trying to describe the points of view of other people, or maybe the mindset he was in at time. But there were at least 3-4 times where it came across as Marc's personal way of relating to women in the way the writing was done, and it felt insanely uncomfortable. I sincerely hope I'm wrong in how he feels, because I had a positive impression of him on the Aftermath.
It's because of the listed cons that I can't give this book a high review, and also why I do NOT recommend the audiobook version of this book. I do feel that with the non professional writing/editing that it would have been easier to follow with the abbreviations, random lists of things, and jumping from subject to subject. The audiobook also made the crass women comments really stand out, hearing them spoken and in the author's voice. So idk. This book was published a few years after leaving and I'm hoping that because as I write this review, it's 12+ years later, he is a better person after being in the real world for a significant amount of time.
If you are a big fan of Scientology as a subject and reading memoirs, you'll probably get past the flaws and enjoy it. If you are new to the subject or only want to read 1-2 books, I'd probably read Troublemaker - Leah Remini, or A Billion Years - Mike Rinder, instead.
Bad parts: It's not well written. Sorry Marc! The writing is at a very amateur level, like someone writing in a diary or just verbally speaking to a friend. This made the flow of the book difficult at times to follow. Scientology is full of jargon and abbreviations, and while they were all defined at least once in the book, they are continually used to the point of confusion at times. Not that using the abbreviations was wrong necessarily, but it's just another situation where better editing would have made a huge difference. The other major con of this book is the way women and actions toward women are described. I totally get that in terms of describing the abusive living conditions at the base and the general atmosphere of being around cruel people, there were plenty of incidents where the author may have simply been trying to describe the points of view of other people, or maybe the mindset he was in at time. But there were at least 3-4 times where it came across as Marc's personal way of relating to women in the way the writing was done, and it felt insanely uncomfortable. I sincerely hope I'm wrong in how he feels, because I had a positive impression of him on the Aftermath.
It's because of the listed cons that I can't give this book a high review, and also why I do NOT recommend the audiobook version of this book. I do feel that with the non professional writing/editing that it would have been easier to follow with the abbreviations, random lists of things, and jumping from subject to subject. The audiobook also made the crass women comments really stand out, hearing them spoken and in the author's voice. So idk. This book was published a few years after leaving and I'm hoping that because as I write this review, it's 12+ years later, he is a better person after being in the real world for a significant amount of time.
If you are a big fan of Scientology as a subject and reading memoirs, you'll probably get past the flaws and enjoy it. If you are new to the subject or only want to read 1-2 books, I'd probably read Troublemaker - Leah Remini, or A Billion Years - Mike Rinder, instead.
March 20, 2018
In this book we get a different perspective of the cult known as Scientology. When a person is mistreated by a cult, either religious or political, often we have the mentality that it was partially the person’s own fault for being stupid enough to hook up with such obvious psychos and frauds. But what happens when a person is born into a cult? Or is indoctrinated into one before they are old enough to take control of their life? With no other options, they have to go along with it. This is such a story. The author entered Scientology at 13 and did not escape until he was 32.
Scientology is a religion of money! Perhaps this is true with all faiths, but Scientology has refined it down to an art. Those who give big are treated as royalty- pampered, sucked up to, given access to slave labor. The rest below, especially those who sign the billion year contract and join their Sea Org, are worker drones, scuttling about to fulfill their duties, cast aside when they were useless. One line from L. Ron Hubbard quoted in the text sums up their attitude, “We’d rather have you dead than incapacitated.�
The book shows the Scientology body in a high level of disorganization and incompetence. This makes sense as the people were given positions, technical and administrative, based on their willingness to put up with mental abuse, exhaustion, malnourishment, and adhere to the rules, rather than any ability. I say rules here, rather than doctrine, because for lower level Scientologists there seems to be a lack of ability to learn more on their own faith. For a person to rise in the ranks they have to pay for a series of courses. If you can’t afford it, well sucks to be you asshole. You’re stuck were you are. And in an organization where being paid minimum wage is a premium job, it isn’t likely that you will advance any time soon.
As the Scientology higher-ups were too paranoid to hire the necessary technical workers from the unwashed, their organization was strung together by a series of jury rigging and few mechanically minded people who kind of knew what they were doing. This constantly left them behind, technologically speaking. For example, they were still using the old VAX/VMS computer systems, the huge wall units with magnetic tape and punch cards into the 1990s. Additionally they continued to mass produce their audio propaganda on cassette tapes well after CDs had become the staple. This was mostly due to no one “cleared� by Scientology knowing how to convert the mediums over.
I’ve often wondered how so many people could fall for the Xenu story which form the core of Scientology’s mythology. The one about the people of the overcrowded confederation of planets being sent to Earth (then known as Teegeeack) aboard ships that were subconsciously expressed in the design of the Douglas DC-8, the only difference being that "the DC8 had fans, propellers on it and the space plane didn't". Then using H-Bombs they were killed, their souls vacuumed up and brainwashed using “three-D, super colossal motion picture" for thirty-six days. The souls were then merged and implanted in prisons made of flesh- that’s us by the way. Only through Scientology can one strip off these souls and become “clear�. It’s so obviously schlocky science fiction. But this book illuminates that most of the lower level drones never heard it. The story is only for OTIII types, big spenders who have already sunk hundreds of thousands of dollars into the organization. People who aren’t willing to throw everything away on some silly story that couldn’t possibly be true.
Most the venom is directed at David Miscavage, the psychotic pope of Scientology, heir to L. Ron Hubbard’s legacy, and best pals with Tom Cruise. Miscavage is depicted as a person who manipulated his way into power and then suppressed all those who could challenge him, like a miniature Joseph Stalin. Using the threat of his power to send any one who disagrees with him to the Rehabilitation Project Force (Scientology punishment and “re-education� cells and gulags), he has created a communist dictatorship within the Scientology community. With the religion running just as efficiently as its counterpart. �
He is characterized as a violent, incompetent, sadistic, unable to handle the pressures of power, a perfectionist without the ability to properly communicate what he wants, with no ability to actually advance what he wants. He is presented as an incompetent who believes he is the smartest guy in the room with no organizational skills, orders everything at the last minute, causes disasters and havoc, while blaming everyone else for his mistakes.
The author’s bitterness comes across in every page, having spent a decade and a half amongst an organization that he sacrificed and gave more to than any other, only to realize how he was abused is a harsh pill to swallow. Over this time he saw hardworking dedicated people who had worked longer than him crushed down and destroyed by Miscavage and his ilk. Decades of service meant nothing, all of their successes would be invalidated in a heartbeat over minor disagreements or executive fiat. It was not an atmosphere where one could thrive.
A few celebrities are mentioned along the way, the author Neil Gaiman being one. Apparently he was listed as a “suppressive person� until he became famous, then the label was quickly revoked. As is no surprise to anyone, Tom Cruise pops up a lot. He had nothing to do with the day to day running, but was a good friend of Miscavage (the latter being his best man at Cruise’s wedding to Katie Holmes) and the highest contribute to Scientology in the world. Much of their financing comes from helping to produce his films. There is also an amusing story where the crew at Int base (a Scientology headquarters) were piecing together clips and headshots of Scientology actresses to become Cruise’s girlfriend. After the actor’s bust up with Penelope Cruz over her refusal to join the religion, he realized that he could be with someone in the faith, so they began a pimping process to get him a woman.
The book is not the best written and could have used an editor to clean up sentence structure and delete and replace repetitive words. But I was sucked into the story immediately. The plot overriding any minor technical issues. The day I picked it up, I chowed down eighty pages in one gulp. Scientology has a large vocabulary built into its structure, which seems to mostly consist of abbreviations of Scientology terms, so the author includes a glossary. However it is somewhat inadequate, largely missing many terms such as “preclear�, “suppressive person�, and so on. But I supposed being raised in a cult these idioms become second nature and the author doesn’t think to explain them. Luckily the internet is around to fill in the gaps.
Scientology is a religion of money! Perhaps this is true with all faiths, but Scientology has refined it down to an art. Those who give big are treated as royalty- pampered, sucked up to, given access to slave labor. The rest below, especially those who sign the billion year contract and join their Sea Org, are worker drones, scuttling about to fulfill their duties, cast aside when they were useless. One line from L. Ron Hubbard quoted in the text sums up their attitude, “We’d rather have you dead than incapacitated.�
The book shows the Scientology body in a high level of disorganization and incompetence. This makes sense as the people were given positions, technical and administrative, based on their willingness to put up with mental abuse, exhaustion, malnourishment, and adhere to the rules, rather than any ability. I say rules here, rather than doctrine, because for lower level Scientologists there seems to be a lack of ability to learn more on their own faith. For a person to rise in the ranks they have to pay for a series of courses. If you can’t afford it, well sucks to be you asshole. You’re stuck were you are. And in an organization where being paid minimum wage is a premium job, it isn’t likely that you will advance any time soon.
As the Scientology higher-ups were too paranoid to hire the necessary technical workers from the unwashed, their organization was strung together by a series of jury rigging and few mechanically minded people who kind of knew what they were doing. This constantly left them behind, technologically speaking. For example, they were still using the old VAX/VMS computer systems, the huge wall units with magnetic tape and punch cards into the 1990s. Additionally they continued to mass produce their audio propaganda on cassette tapes well after CDs had become the staple. This was mostly due to no one “cleared� by Scientology knowing how to convert the mediums over.
I’ve often wondered how so many people could fall for the Xenu story which form the core of Scientology’s mythology. The one about the people of the overcrowded confederation of planets being sent to Earth (then known as Teegeeack) aboard ships that were subconsciously expressed in the design of the Douglas DC-8, the only difference being that "the DC8 had fans, propellers on it and the space plane didn't". Then using H-Bombs they were killed, their souls vacuumed up and brainwashed using “three-D, super colossal motion picture" for thirty-six days. The souls were then merged and implanted in prisons made of flesh- that’s us by the way. Only through Scientology can one strip off these souls and become “clear�. It’s so obviously schlocky science fiction. But this book illuminates that most of the lower level drones never heard it. The story is only for OTIII types, big spenders who have already sunk hundreds of thousands of dollars into the organization. People who aren’t willing to throw everything away on some silly story that couldn’t possibly be true.
Most the venom is directed at David Miscavage, the psychotic pope of Scientology, heir to L. Ron Hubbard’s legacy, and best pals with Tom Cruise. Miscavage is depicted as a person who manipulated his way into power and then suppressed all those who could challenge him, like a miniature Joseph Stalin. Using the threat of his power to send any one who disagrees with him to the Rehabilitation Project Force (Scientology punishment and “re-education� cells and gulags), he has created a communist dictatorship within the Scientology community. With the religion running just as efficiently as its counterpart. �
He is characterized as a violent, incompetent, sadistic, unable to handle the pressures of power, a perfectionist without the ability to properly communicate what he wants, with no ability to actually advance what he wants. He is presented as an incompetent who believes he is the smartest guy in the room with no organizational skills, orders everything at the last minute, causes disasters and havoc, while blaming everyone else for his mistakes.
The author’s bitterness comes across in every page, having spent a decade and a half amongst an organization that he sacrificed and gave more to than any other, only to realize how he was abused is a harsh pill to swallow. Over this time he saw hardworking dedicated people who had worked longer than him crushed down and destroyed by Miscavage and his ilk. Decades of service meant nothing, all of their successes would be invalidated in a heartbeat over minor disagreements or executive fiat. It was not an atmosphere where one could thrive.
A few celebrities are mentioned along the way, the author Neil Gaiman being one. Apparently he was listed as a “suppressive person� until he became famous, then the label was quickly revoked. As is no surprise to anyone, Tom Cruise pops up a lot. He had nothing to do with the day to day running, but was a good friend of Miscavage (the latter being his best man at Cruise’s wedding to Katie Holmes) and the highest contribute to Scientology in the world. Much of their financing comes from helping to produce his films. There is also an amusing story where the crew at Int base (a Scientology headquarters) were piecing together clips and headshots of Scientology actresses to become Cruise’s girlfriend. After the actor’s bust up with Penelope Cruz over her refusal to join the religion, he realized that he could be with someone in the faith, so they began a pimping process to get him a woman.
The book is not the best written and could have used an editor to clean up sentence structure and delete and replace repetitive words. But I was sucked into the story immediately. The plot overriding any minor technical issues. The day I picked it up, I chowed down eighty pages in one gulp. Scientology has a large vocabulary built into its structure, which seems to mostly consist of abbreviations of Scientology terms, so the author includes a glossary. However it is somewhat inadequate, largely missing many terms such as “preclear�, “suppressive person�, and so on. But I supposed being raised in a cult these idioms become second nature and the author doesn’t think to explain them. Luckily the internet is around to fill in the gaps.
February 5, 2011
Marc Headley was denied a high school education because he was pushed into Scientology as a child by his parents, and pressured into the upper levels of its secretive and bizarre upper management levels in his teens. His lack of formal education shows, in that his writing is full of little grammatical errors. But this is a fast-paced, page-turner of a book, and his courage and competence come through over and over in the tale of his survival, his fifteen years as a serving member, and his eventual harrowing escape. It is particularly worthwhile for anyone who has been exposed to Scientology or any other highly controlling, cultish group.
December 31, 2012
Headley's book is a detailed portrayal of the controversial "religion" of Scientology. Headley started in the church at age 17 and left some 20 years later. He describes the odd and abusive structure and practices of Scientology, including the current "head honcho"'s penchant for random and spontaneous rules and rule changes. If you ever wanted to know what REALLY goes on behind closed doors, read this book!
March 5, 2013
A self-published memoir that takes its place among the great apostate properties dying to be made into a movie. Headley, who was "educated" in Scieno schools and joined the Sea Org as a teenager, actually learned useful skills as a major events production chief and A/V expert. If Scieno was smart enough to release more such capable people "into the wild" once in a while, we wouldn't be stuck thinking Tom Cruise is the most enlightened human being in Hollywood.
May 29, 2012
Very intriguing book. I'm always interested in societies/clubs/organizations/etc. that have a curtain of secrecy about them and the Church of Scientology definitely falls into that category. The insight Marc Headley provided on just his experiences within the Church of Scientology was very interesting and sure does give the reader a lot to think about.
January 10, 2023
I really wanted to like this book but it really needed an editor. The amount of times he says “I could care less� instead of “couldn’t care less� made me scream. Words are spelled wrong along with other grammatical errors but talking about “the blonde with the big headlights� and other crude comments about women made me lose respect for him.
March 14, 2017
This was a very interesting book about what it is like on the inside of Scientology. After hearing about the deplorable treatment under David Miscavige, you begin to wonder what makes these people stay.
May 22, 2015
Definitely worth reading
A cult by any other name is still a cult, and definite proof that absolute power corrupts absolutely. A great read.
A cult by any other name is still a cult, and definite proof that absolute power corrupts absolutely. A great read.
January 6, 2024
Headley is well known among the ex-Scientologists who have spoken out in spite of repercussions from the organization. His book is in high demand - I found copies on ebay and elsewhere selling for a great deal of money. So I was pleased when I was able to purchase it directly from Marc and Claire through their website, and it is signed by them as well.
I have been interested in the "religion" for some time. Perhaps since I first saw the storefronts on Hollywood Blvd in the late 1960s and early 1970s. I didn't fall for the e-Meter offerings even though I was a susceptible young person at the time (and a close friend fell for Nam-myoho-renge-kyo Buddhists, also on the Blvd). I noticed the odd gleam in the eyes of the Scientologists trying to draw us into the building and (I think correctly) assumed they were fanatics.
Over the years I have heard stories about how Scientology is run, what the beliefs are, what makes people go into it and not come out. So I have watched the films, seen the television shows, read many books on the subject. This is the latest I have read.
Headley's account is unusually detailed. Over the course of fifteen years, he grew from an impressionable teen to a cynical adult, all within the walls of the church. Because he got into the church so young and because his family was also involved, he really knew no other life, had nothing to compare it to. That is a major reason, I think, that he stayed so long in such an abusive environment.
He happened to be intelligent and gifted in technical areas, which served him well. He spent much time in the Golden Era Productions, in every part of creating and replicating film and audio productions. He was probably the most capable at the time he was there and therefore managed to escape some of the worst abuses (but not all). All of the staff and "volunteers" were routinely subjected to very long hours, little sleep, little food and little time to eat it. They were sometimes forced to do work that was dangerous and unhealthy at best.
It takes a kind of fanaticism to do this kind of work day after day, year after year. But when a person can see no other way it may be simply that they are imprisoned. Most of the residents in the Sea Org and on the various bases (the live-in Scientologists) had no money, no credit, no car, no licenses, nothing to aid them in the outside world. So they stayed until they could stay no more.
Which is finally what happened to Marc, even though he had held on for years after he had become disenchanted because his wife was there, too, and he didn't want to lose her. When a staff person "blows" (escapes), other Scientologists are not allowed to communicate with that person again. Which includes family and close friends. This was a huge incentive to stay.
i particularly liked the detailed descriptions of what Marc did day to day, week to week, over the years, and his descriptions of his encounters with Dave Miscavige, the current leader of Scientology. The book filled in blanks for me.
What was odd to me, though, was that I couldn't tell if he was buying what the organization was selling. Did he believe that church members were saving the world? Did he think that he would be essentially immortal? Did he buy that outsiders were criminals who didn't want the world to improve? The tone of the book is so cynical that I couldn't be sure if that tone came after or was always there. That is, was it hindsight that put that cast on the stories? If he didn't believe it , or didn't believe most of it, then we go back to his reasons for staying - he knew no other life, his family was in it, the world outside was unknown. He also found satisfaction in his work when he was allowed to do it right.
I also read Mike Rinder's account of his time in Scientology. A very different path but strewn with the same abuses. I felt that Rinder gave us more of how he felt at the time so that we could understand why he did not question the Scientology "shore story" of Lisa McPherson, for example, a woman who died because of how she was "helped" by Scientologists. I got the sense that Mike really bought it all until it all crashed down, but I do not think that was the case with Marc.
Marc is not a great writer. It is easy enough to read his account, especially given the content, but it's clearly amateur writing. I appreciate that he simply got it down on paper so we have it.
I have been interested in the "religion" for some time. Perhaps since I first saw the storefronts on Hollywood Blvd in the late 1960s and early 1970s. I didn't fall for the e-Meter offerings even though I was a susceptible young person at the time (and a close friend fell for Nam-myoho-renge-kyo Buddhists, also on the Blvd). I noticed the odd gleam in the eyes of the Scientologists trying to draw us into the building and (I think correctly) assumed they were fanatics.
Over the years I have heard stories about how Scientology is run, what the beliefs are, what makes people go into it and not come out. So I have watched the films, seen the television shows, read many books on the subject. This is the latest I have read.
Headley's account is unusually detailed. Over the course of fifteen years, he grew from an impressionable teen to a cynical adult, all within the walls of the church. Because he got into the church so young and because his family was also involved, he really knew no other life, had nothing to compare it to. That is a major reason, I think, that he stayed so long in such an abusive environment.
He happened to be intelligent and gifted in technical areas, which served him well. He spent much time in the Golden Era Productions, in every part of creating and replicating film and audio productions. He was probably the most capable at the time he was there and therefore managed to escape some of the worst abuses (but not all). All of the staff and "volunteers" were routinely subjected to very long hours, little sleep, little food and little time to eat it. They were sometimes forced to do work that was dangerous and unhealthy at best.
It takes a kind of fanaticism to do this kind of work day after day, year after year. But when a person can see no other way it may be simply that they are imprisoned. Most of the residents in the Sea Org and on the various bases (the live-in Scientologists) had no money, no credit, no car, no licenses, nothing to aid them in the outside world. So they stayed until they could stay no more.
Which is finally what happened to Marc, even though he had held on for years after he had become disenchanted because his wife was there, too, and he didn't want to lose her. When a staff person "blows" (escapes), other Scientologists are not allowed to communicate with that person again. Which includes family and close friends. This was a huge incentive to stay.
i particularly liked the detailed descriptions of what Marc did day to day, week to week, over the years, and his descriptions of his encounters with Dave Miscavige, the current leader of Scientology. The book filled in blanks for me.
What was odd to me, though, was that I couldn't tell if he was buying what the organization was selling. Did he believe that church members were saving the world? Did he think that he would be essentially immortal? Did he buy that outsiders were criminals who didn't want the world to improve? The tone of the book is so cynical that I couldn't be sure if that tone came after or was always there. That is, was it hindsight that put that cast on the stories? If he didn't believe it , or didn't believe most of it, then we go back to his reasons for staying - he knew no other life, his family was in it, the world outside was unknown. He also found satisfaction in his work when he was allowed to do it right.
I also read Mike Rinder's account of his time in Scientology. A very different path but strewn with the same abuses. I felt that Rinder gave us more of how he felt at the time so that we could understand why he did not question the Scientology "shore story" of Lisa McPherson, for example, a woman who died because of how she was "helped" by Scientologists. I got the sense that Mike really bought it all until it all crashed down, but I do not think that was the case with Marc.
Marc is not a great writer. It is easy enough to read his account, especially given the content, but it's clearly amateur writing. I appreciate that he simply got it down on paper so we have it.
July 2, 2023
Listening to this audiobook, it was hard to believe that this "religion" has any following at all, let alone the likes of Tom Cruise. North Korea has nothing on Scientology Int. People working 100+ hours a week for 40 dollars, having no free time, functioning on very little sleep, having a little sadistic, violent sociopath ruling over everyone in whose eyes NOTHING is ever good enough, people locked up and not allowed to leave the compound, people forced to crawl on their hands and knees for 16 hours solid, forced to sleep outside directly on the earth for months, having to clean human waste by hand...the list goes on.
Any place you have to escape from, is nothing but a prison.
Why do people stay? Because they have been there for years, often born into it, are forcibly cut off from friends and family if they do leave, will have to enter the real world with no money in their thirties, forties and fifties, are indoctrinated that the world and people out there are very bad and are too exhausted to really judge their situation clearly. Oh, and most are recruited in their early teens and have only the education legally expected, which is little. Furthermore, after being treated like a slave for years, when they leave they are stuck with a "freeloader" bill of many thousands for all the scientology courses they were forced to take. The insanity! They are also brainwashed into believing L Ron Hubbard's crazy beliefs and rules are literally the only way to save this planet and that they are doomed forever if they stop believing in crazy spaceships, thetans and other weird things only a science fiction writer could have dreamed up.
The worst of the worse is if they do manage to escape and dare speak up they are followed around by PIs, have cameras secretly placed around them and even have pets suddenly dying. Nasty letters filled with falsehoods are send to their employers and all attempts to destroy their lives become "fair game".
This book is an eye-opener.
Any place you have to escape from, is nothing but a prison.
Why do people stay? Because they have been there for years, often born into it, are forcibly cut off from friends and family if they do leave, will have to enter the real world with no money in their thirties, forties and fifties, are indoctrinated that the world and people out there are very bad and are too exhausted to really judge their situation clearly. Oh, and most are recruited in their early teens and have only the education legally expected, which is little. Furthermore, after being treated like a slave for years, when they leave they are stuck with a "freeloader" bill of many thousands for all the scientology courses they were forced to take. The insanity! They are also brainwashed into believing L Ron Hubbard's crazy beliefs and rules are literally the only way to save this planet and that they are doomed forever if they stop believing in crazy spaceships, thetans and other weird things only a science fiction writer could have dreamed up.
The worst of the worse is if they do manage to escape and dare speak up they are followed around by PIs, have cameras secretly placed around them and even have pets suddenly dying. Nasty letters filled with falsehoods are send to their employers and all attempts to destroy their lives become "fair game".
This book is an eye-opener.
January 5, 2024
For someone who has not had any formal education, this was a delight to read ( or listen) to! He recalls his time while in the cult of Scientology or what I have dubbed Sci-cult. You get a first hand look into how you can be in good graces one moment, then the next be in the doghouse depending on how their leader's mood is. He talks about how he was the only one with common sense or street smarts to withstand the task put forth to him. And one point he was sent to "fix" an audio problem without the leader's knowing, because at this time he was in the doghouse and made to do whatever crummy job he was assigned to do. And then flown back out, minutes before the leader made his appearance, going back to his assigned work by himself! You the reader will be laughing, then crying the next minute and being sad at what Marc reveals. To me the way of life they were being forced to endure is criminal, and against human rights. But since the cult bullies their way into the legal system, by digging into the private lives of whomever they wish. Which is how they got their tax exempt status even though they are not a religion! Not in the normal sense that most religious entities are, worshiping God not a man!
November 9, 2023
This was OK. Headley isn't a great writer, and he's not a super deep guy. The ending is extremely solid though, and honestly I think the book should be reframed around the romance between Marc and Claire -- that stuff was genuinely emotional and that added an excellent layer of stakes to an otherwise fairly rote "escaped from a cult" memoir. I feel a little bad for saying that, but this is a self-published book, and you can feel the lack of editorial oversight that normally comes with this kind of thing.
As others have noted, Marc does occasionally comment on women's bodies in off-putting, eye-rolling jock-ish ways. I kept turning to my wife to catch her rolling her eyes as we listened to part of the audiobook. Not a deal-breaker, but it's distracting.
Looks like Marty Rathbun wrote the foreword to this and has since been compromised / returned to Scientology (check his GoodReads profile -- it is clearly written by some Org member in a coordinated campaign to take down Mike Rinder's book. how exhausting!)
As others have noted, Marc does occasionally comment on women's bodies in off-putting, eye-rolling jock-ish ways. I kept turning to my wife to catch her rolling her eyes as we listened to part of the audiobook. Not a deal-breaker, but it's distracting.
Looks like Marty Rathbun wrote the foreword to this and has since been compromised / returned to Scientology (check his GoodReads profile -- it is clearly written by some Org member in a coordinated campaign to take down Mike Rinder's book. how exhausting!)
April 17, 2023
As other reviews have said this book could've used an editor but I think you read this book for one reason, to learn Marc's story and get a personal experience of life in the Sea Org and an escape. For the most part I really enjoyed it, I still have questions about his story, and the ending made me tear up a little feeling his love for Claire. I do think feeling that love was influenced by the fact that I have watched their youtube and know their connection because he didn't build it up in the book itself. Having listening to them I could read the book in his voice, which helped to hear his sense of humor. As much detail as he gave for events I don't feel he really explored his feelings very much. I am so happy they both got out. I heard Mary Kahn say that if all the people in Scientology that were abused would stand up against it, it would fall in hours. That is the saddest part about Scientology and proof of brainwashing.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 8, 2025
I have a lot of empathy for the author & his wife, thus the 5 stars; Marc's story is complicated, complex & being in Scientology, wildly confusing, but he does a really good job of keeping the reader engaged & able to follow along while conveying the sheer lunacy of multiple situations, also involving Scientology lingo, while not causing the reader to become completely lost. Could the book have used a bit more of a grammatical polishing? Sure, and hopefully the next book will be (I'm happy to help, Marc!), but the book was written to tell an incredible personal accounting of an otherworldly (ha!) group of individuals that is somehow allowed to exist -- tax-exempt, too! -- and not to be a Pulitzer Prize winner. I am in awe of Marc (& Claire's) experience, and I am glad that they were able to blow and find not just personal & professional happiness, but to be able to help so many also trying to escape. Kudos to you both!!!
April 27, 2019
Best detailed overview of Scientology I have read.
I started to read books about Scientology because I am a chemist - a scientist. I wanted to understand how people were roped into this cult and stayed while donating all their money.
This book gave me the best insight into how cults work and most importantly why the people stay. I could never live without sleep, without meals and without reasonable management.
I read in one book that M's parents had put him on steroids when he was quite young. That was the only possible source of his insanity that I have found.
I am so glad I found this book. It gives me a confidence that I would never have fallen into the mire of the science fiction of this cult.
Thank you, Marc Headley! The book is riveting, very well written and personal. You have created a detailed view of how you survived Scientology.
I started to read books about Scientology because I am a chemist - a scientist. I wanted to understand how people were roped into this cult and stayed while donating all their money.
This book gave me the best insight into how cults work and most importantly why the people stay. I could never live without sleep, without meals and without reasonable management.
I read in one book that M's parents had put him on steroids when he was quite young. That was the only possible source of his insanity that I have found.
I am so glad I found this book. It gives me a confidence that I would never have fallen into the mire of the science fiction of this cult.
Thank you, Marc Headley! The book is riveting, very well written and personal. You have created a detailed view of how you survived Scientology.
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