What do you think?
Rate this book
Studies in Jungian Psychology by Jungian Analysts #40
Eros and Pathos: Shades of Love and Suffering
This provocative look at love and pain asks some hard questions. Why do we fear love? Why are we never satisfied? Why do we hurt those close to us? How do we invite betrayal? What can we learn about ourselves from eroticism, abandonment, solitude? What unconscious drives are at work in seduction, jealousy, the desire for power? Is there a connection between love, suffering and creativity?
Here the reader meets his or her most intimate images, some heart warming, some unsettling. Within the context of that encounter we are offered a perspective that illumines countless dark moments in our experience of ourselves and others. At the still point where passion and terror originate sits the crucible of transformation in which are reshaped the joys and torments of both past and future.
There is treasure in the darkness, and this book brings it to light.
Here the reader meets his or her most intimate images, some heart warming, some unsettling. Within the context of that encounter we are offered a perspective that illumines countless dark moments in our experience of ourselves and others. At the still point where passion and terror originate sits the crucible of transformation in which are reshaped the joys and torments of both past and future.
There is treasure in the darkness, and this book brings it to light.
144 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1987
23 people are currently reading
833 people want to read
About the author
Aldo Carotenuto
58books30followersProfessor of personality theory at the University of Rome and the director of the Review of Analytical Psychoanalysis and the Historical Journal of Dynamic Psychology.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
June 29, 2009
One of my all-time favorite reads.
I love it so much I added a review on Amazon.
I still think it is the only review of this book.
Here's the Amazon review:
It is no accident that Carotenuto continually refers to poets such as Rilke in his discourse. He looks to them, and to all creative minds, to elucidate otherwise impenetrable or unspeakable truths about the human condition, and particularly the pain and confusion often associated with love relationships. He does so with astonishing success. Carotenuto himself writes with the impact of poetry. He is able to articulate Jungian concepts in a way that makes sense to the reader on an intuitive, existential level, and not just an academic one. In chapter after chapter, he explains that the confusion and pain often associated with love relationships -- including betrayal, jealousy, need for power, loss of identity, erotic fantasy -- are born of not merely dysfuntion, but of our longing as human beings for authenticity. I have found no other book, in literature or psychology, that has come close to providing the same quality of psychic relief. That is not to say that the book offers solutions or self-help wisdom. It does not. What it says to the reader is: You are not insane; what you are feeling is universal, and moreover, valuable and necessary. For anyone who is in love or has experienced the loss of a love, this book is an invaluable resource-- something that can be turned to for a sense of stillness. The book is especially geared toward people engaged in creative pursuits who are battling against society's expectation that they adhere to more conventional life paths. Translation: If you are a starving artist, this book is for you too.
I love it so much I added a review on Amazon.
I still think it is the only review of this book.
Here's the Amazon review:
It is no accident that Carotenuto continually refers to poets such as Rilke in his discourse. He looks to them, and to all creative minds, to elucidate otherwise impenetrable or unspeakable truths about the human condition, and particularly the pain and confusion often associated with love relationships. He does so with astonishing success. Carotenuto himself writes with the impact of poetry. He is able to articulate Jungian concepts in a way that makes sense to the reader on an intuitive, existential level, and not just an academic one. In chapter after chapter, he explains that the confusion and pain often associated with love relationships -- including betrayal, jealousy, need for power, loss of identity, erotic fantasy -- are born of not merely dysfuntion, but of our longing as human beings for authenticity. I have found no other book, in literature or psychology, that has come close to providing the same quality of psychic relief. That is not to say that the book offers solutions or self-help wisdom. It does not. What it says to the reader is: You are not insane; what you are feeling is universal, and moreover, valuable and necessary. For anyone who is in love or has experienced the loss of a love, this book is an invaluable resource-- something that can be turned to for a sense of stillness. The book is especially geared toward people engaged in creative pursuits who are battling against society's expectation that they adhere to more conventional life paths. Translation: If you are a starving artist, this book is for you too.
December 29, 2017
"Να γιατί,όταν εκείνη η σχέση τελειώσει,είναι δικαιολογημένη η νοσταλγία,ο πόνος για κάτι που χάθηκε οριστικά,αφού καμιά νέα συνάντηση δε θα μπορέσει ποτέ να ξαναζωντανέψει εκείνη την ίδια εμπειρία.
Ο έρωτας αλλοιώνει τη σχέση μας με την πραγματικότητα. Και για την ψυχολογία αλλοίωση σημαίνει ότι η ψυχική οργάνωση,της οποίας ήμαστε φορείς ως πριν ένα λεπτό,έχει εξαντλήσει τη λειτουργία της,έχει πάψει να ισχύει..η σύγχυση που προκαλεί ο έρωτας είναι απαραίτητη για να υποχωρήσει,σα χιόνι που λιώνει στον ήλιο,η φαινομενικά άκαμπτη στάση μας.
..ο έρωτας είναι ναρκισσισμός,είναι αυτοεξαπάτηση..αλλά είναι ο βασικός δρόμος για την επάνοδο στις αρχέγονες εμπειρίες δίχως άλλο..."
Ο έρωτας αλλοιώνει τη σχέση μας με την πραγματικότητα. Και για την ψυχολογία αλλοίωση σημαίνει ότι η ψυχική οργάνωση,της οποίας ήμαστε φορείς ως πριν ένα λεπτό,έχει εξαντλήσει τη λειτουργία της,έχει πάψει να ισχύει..η σύγχυση που προκαλεί ο έρωτας είναι απαραίτητη για να υποχωρήσει,σα χιόνι που λιώνει στον ήλιο,η φαινομενικά άκαμπτη στάση μας.
..ο έρωτας είναι ναρκισσισμός,είναι αυτοεξαπάτηση..αλλά είναι ο βασικός δρόμος για την επάνοδο στις αρχέγονες εμπειρίες δίχως άλλο..."
February 20, 2013
This is an amazing little gemstone of essays on the inter reltionship between love and pain, from a Jungian perspective. The essays are short and powerful. I picked this book up for research on character development as a writer. The Secret of Seduction is incredible, but Chapter 8, Fear of Loss and Jealousy blew me away. I am so pleased with this book.
July 24, 2011
This book will blow your mind... (be careful, it takes a while to pick up the pieces afterwards ;)
May 12, 2024
I lived thru some strong emotions reading this book. Half of it is brilliant, it has amazing insight around creativity and individuality, mastering fear or self-realization. The other half is profoundly dumb, completely missing the point, in my opinion, of what love is or how we communicate our inner world to other people. I still strongly believe it's a book worth reading, but be prepared to grrrr out loud whenever he goes from a wise idea to a half-baked, overly dramatic one in the space of one page.
February 1, 2024
Necesito más libros sobre este tema
August 23, 2023
[...]Δεν υπάρχει ενδοσκόπηση, δεν υπάρχει άλλη εμπειρία που να μας φέρνει σ' επαφή με το ασυνείδητο όσο ο έρωτας.[...]
[...]Ο αγαπημένος ασκεί γοητεία στο βαθμό που αφήνεται να τον μαντέψουν, δεν μιλάει ή μιλάει αινιγματικά.[...]
[...]Γιατί στη σαγήνευση δεν υπάρχει κανείς, ο άλλος γίνεται το φως που φωτίζει τον κόσμο μου υπό την ώθηση των αναγκών μου.[...]
[...]Ο αγαπημένος ασκεί γοητεία στο βαθμό που αφήνεται να τον μαντέψουν, δεν μιλάει ή μιλάει αινιγματικά.[...]
[...]Γιατί στη σαγήνευση δεν υπάρχει κανείς, ο άλλος γίνεται το φως που φωτίζει τον κόσμο μου υπό την ώθηση των αναγκών μου.[...]
February 8, 2019
Gran libro, densissimo e terrazzatissimo.
Pieno zuppo di spunti, rimandi ad altri libri, citazioni, autori e chi più ne ha più ne metta.
Dall'inizio alla fine.
Consigliatissimo.
Capitato di leggerlo al momento giusto (non esiste il momento giusto).
Pieno zuppo di spunti, rimandi ad altri libri, citazioni, autori e chi più ne ha più ne metta.
Dall'inizio alla fine.
Consigliatissimo.
Capitato di leggerlo al momento giusto (non esiste il momento giusto).
October 21, 2020
Some books are sacred not because of the topic because of the writer.
The same cup and the same coffee but from a divine person will really be new experiences.
Theauthorwrote about love. The experience of reading was awesome because it looks as if he carried a journal and noted down as and when new experienceencountered. Such a mirroring of the world's love. The book starts with defining love as an inexpressible..Superb
.A new experience of love discourse and the last few chapters are really the cream of the book. it has such a depth read few times its like falling into an abyss.
An enlightening book may be missed by the world due to simple presentationof the book.
A lovely journey and finally
thee best poem and expression are spread throughout thebook.
The same cup and the same coffee but from a divine person will really be new experiences.
Theauthorwrote about love. The experience of reading was awesome because it looks as if he carried a journal and noted down as and when new experienceencountered. Such a mirroring of the world's love. The book starts with defining love as an inexpressible..Superb
.A new experience of love discourse and the last few chapters are really the cream of the book. it has such a depth read few times its like falling into an abyss.
An enlightening book may be missed by the world due to simple presentationof the book.
A lovely journey and finally
thee best poem and expression are spread throughout thebook.
April 4, 2025
I occasionally have the pleasure of opening a book in which is written so well that I end up devouring it, very quickly, whilst in some semi lucid state.
This book is a little more grounded to every day reality and relationships than 'The Vertical Labyrinth' written four years earlier in 1985. And perhaps due to the less ethereal topic, there is much more practical wisdom, and even optimism, throughout the pages.
Carutenuo resonates with my own way of experiencing love as ultimately mysterious and transcendent, and explains this phenomena without dissecting or 'explaining away'. Thus I'm left with a better understanding of the internal mechanisms and levers which determine the conditions for love, but also an expanded sense of awe for the aspects of it that forever will remain mysterious.
'.... people who fear beating abandoned don't allow themselves to fall in love. Luckily, there is always someone who trips us up and makes us expose ourselves. To be at the mercy of someone else means to understand that nothing can protect us anymore.'
Carutenuo invites the reader to grapple with their essential isolation and abandonment we must all face as humans, but also includes the positive dimension to this reality with a touch of humour and lightheartedness. The maturity and consideration for all these themes makes this (at the time of writing) one of the most potent and compelling books on relationships I have ever read.
This book is a little more grounded to every day reality and relationships than 'The Vertical Labyrinth' written four years earlier in 1985. And perhaps due to the less ethereal topic, there is much more practical wisdom, and even optimism, throughout the pages.
Carutenuo resonates with my own way of experiencing love as ultimately mysterious and transcendent, and explains this phenomena without dissecting or 'explaining away'. Thus I'm left with a better understanding of the internal mechanisms and levers which determine the conditions for love, but also an expanded sense of awe for the aspects of it that forever will remain mysterious.
'.... people who fear beating abandoned don't allow themselves to fall in love. Luckily, there is always someone who trips us up and makes us expose ourselves. To be at the mercy of someone else means to understand that nothing can protect us anymore.'
Carutenuo invites the reader to grapple with their essential isolation and abandonment we must all face as humans, but also includes the positive dimension to this reality with a touch of humour and lightheartedness. The maturity and consideration for all these themes makes this (at the time of writing) one of the most potent and compelling books on relationships I have ever read.
November 20, 2023
Una lettura avvincente. Un saggio che ci porta all'interno del mondo delle relazioni e dell'esperienza professionale e personale di Carotenuto, noto psicoanalista italiano. Ho apprezzato particolarmente lo spaccato sul tema del tradimento. Aspetto con ansia il momento in cui potrò leggere altro dell'autore.
November 11, 2017
This book is packed with insight into the human condition, especially as it relates to romantic relationships. I took my time reading it but like so many of the Jungian authors, I will have to come back to this again and again to get the full effect of the wisdom within.
August 9, 2019
Καταπληκτικό βιβλίο, εύκολο στην ανάγνωση που παρουσίαζει εύστοχα τον τρόπο που οι άνθρωπο ερωτεύονται, αγαπούν, απογοητεύονται. Ο υπότιτλος του βιβλίου «αγάπη» και «πόνος» δεν είναι τελικά 2 διαφορετικές έννοιες! Αξιζει να το διαβάσετε: θα σας απαντηθούν πολλά ερωτήματα!
August 23, 2024
In my opinion, these Jungian study books are an excellent resource for personal development and self-realization. Many books provide only superficial information, but these delve deeply into the subject matter, allowing for a more comprehensive understanding.
January 14, 2020
Da Uno dei massimi esperti di psicologia un libro che va letto e meditato
July 19, 2021
Fantastico. Fa riflettere molto sulla concezione che si ha dell’amore.
March 27, 2022
My best read so far. 4,5 stars�
Read
October 25, 2024Un defatigante florilegio di citazioni, tesi, argomenti che dall'amore arrivano all'analitica dell'animo umano. Una tesi sull'universo che dimentica l'essere dell'universo.
November 26, 2020
Come in “Amare Tradire� tanta sofferta realtà. Da leggere.
Read
June 10, 2008Carotenuto is a Jungian, so I like him. His insights into the various stages of love are intuitive and complex.
What's not to love!
I enjoy that he sees the beauty of fusion, the excitement of it, all that hope. I appreciate, also, that he sees the beauty and pain of betrayal and lost love.
He's kind of poetic, I think. He explores the nature of creation and the importance of being unique. He points out that the strictures of the "collective do real violence to personal uniqueness. we are thrown into a world of rules andsuperficial relationships where psychologically leveling reigns, hence we must be onthe lookout for some way in which to reveal the deepest srpings of our individuality" --
As you can see, this is like Lacan's most painful, terrible moments. Yet, Carotenuto, being Jungian, also sees the possibilities of freedom and creativity. They can be partly located in loneliness. It's there that we can penetrate to the bottom "of something...that opooses collective superficialities."
Hurrah for isolation and loneliness!
Who'd have thought!
What's not to love!
I enjoy that he sees the beauty of fusion, the excitement of it, all that hope. I appreciate, also, that he sees the beauty and pain of betrayal and lost love.
He's kind of poetic, I think. He explores the nature of creation and the importance of being unique. He points out that the strictures of the "collective do real violence to personal uniqueness. we are thrown into a world of rules andsuperficial relationships where psychologically leveling reigns, hence we must be onthe lookout for some way in which to reveal the deepest srpings of our individuality" --
As you can see, this is like Lacan's most painful, terrible moments. Yet, Carotenuto, being Jungian, also sees the possibilities of freedom and creativity. They can be partly located in loneliness. It's there that we can penetrate to the bottom "of something...that opooses collective superficialities."
Hurrah for isolation and loneliness!
Who'd have thought!
May 25, 2009
everyone should read this book. concise and jam-packed with insight, it pretty much sums up what's wrong with everyone everywhere. yet somehow it comes across as hopeful. for everyone who's ever complained about their relationships, or lack of, put down the erich fromm and dr. phil and read this first. or just skip the others entirely.
August 16, 2015
Awesome book. I felt amazed by Aldo's way of transmit the way he sees love and suffering. I specially loved that he added poems to a psychology book. You won't regret reading it. It's amazing!!!
April 21, 2014
Still a favorite...
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get help and learn more about the design.