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Searching for Mercy Street: My Journey Back to My Mother, Anne Sexton

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Linda Gray Sexton's critically acclaimed memoir is an honest, unsparing account of the anguish and fierce love that bound a brilliant, difficult mother and the daughter she left behind. Linda Sexton was twenty-one when her mother killed herself, and now she looks back, remembers, and tries to come to terms with her mother's life.
Life with Anne was a wild mixture of suicidal depression and manic happiness, inappropriate behavior, and midnight trips to the psychiatric ward. Anne taught Linda how to write, how to see, how to imagine--and only Linda could have written a book that captures so vividly the intimate details and lingering emotions of their life together. "Searching for Mercy Street" speaks to everyone who admires Anne Sexton and to every daughter or son who knows the pain of an imperfect childhood. This beautiful new trade paperback edition includes a new introduction by the author.

340 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1994

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About the author

Linda Gray Sexton

17Ìýbooks72Ìýfollowers
Linda Gray Sexton was born in Newton, Massachusetts in 1953. As the daughter of the Pulitzer Prize-winning poet, Anne Sexton, she grew up in a home filled with books and words and an attention to language, and at an early age she, too, began to write. Afternoons were sometimes spent together with her mother, reading aloud from Anne’s favorite poems.

By the time Linda was an adolescent, she had begun to write poetry and short fiction seriously, and spent many special hours curled up on the sofa in Anne’s study, discussing her own fledgling work as well as her mother’s growing oeuvre. Gradually, Anne began to rely on her daughter’s opinions, and dubbed Linda, “my greatest critic.�

Linda graduated from Harvard in 1975 with a degree in literature, and then continued to live in the Boston area. After the death of her mother, Linda became the literary executor of the estate at twenty-one years old and edited several posthumous books of her mother’s poetry, as well as publishing "Anne Sexton: A Self-Portrait in Letters."

Concentrating at last fully on fiction, she published her first novel, "Rituals," in 1981; "Mirror Images," "Points of Light" and "Private Acts" followed over a ten year period. Points of Light was made into a Hallmark Hall of Fame Special for CBS television and was translated into thirteen languages.

Linda married in 1979, and converted to Judaism before her wedding. She and her husband moved to Manhattan in 1982, when he graduated from the Harvard Business School. In New York
she made a very brief foray into the world of writing soap opera, though throughout she stayed devoted to her love of fiction. But her most important work was raising her two sons, who were born in 1983 and 1984.

Linda left her lifelong home of the east coast in the spring of 1989, and moved her family to Northern California, just in time for the 7.1 Loma Prieta earthquake. There, while working in a soup kitchen, becoming Bat Mitzvah, and running a Meals on Wheels program for her temple, she finished her first memoir, "Searching for Mercy Street: My Journey Back to My Mother," Anne Sexton," which was named a New York Times Notable Book of the Year and was optioned by Miramax Films.

Having tea with film director Martin Scorsese in his home and discussing his interest in her book was a high point of Linda’s career as a writer. "Searching for Mercy Street" was reissued by Counterpoint Press in April 2011.

On the West Coast, with a big enough backyard at last, Linda added three Dalmatians to her family—the type of pet she had when she was a child. She developed a passion for showing them in both the breed and obedience rings, and she bred and then whelped four litters of puppies on her own and began to consider herself a "breeder."

She and her new husband, Brad Clink, are avid sailors on the San Francisco Bay and own a sloop named Mercy Street.

Sexton's second memoir, "Half in Love: Surviving the Legacy of Suicide," is about her struggle with her own mental illness and the legacy of suicide left to her by her mother and her mother’s family. Through the help of family, therapy and medicine, Linda confronted deep-seated issues, outlived her mother and curbed the haunting cycle of suicide she once seemed destined to inherit.

She has finished a new memoir now, one that details her childhood family's life, as well as her own adulthood, as reflected through their relationship with Dalmatians over the years. BESPOTTED: MY FAMILY'S LOVE AFFAIR WITH THIRTY-EIGHT DALMATIANS will be published On September 7, 2014 by Counterpoint Press.

She is now at work on a new novel and lives with her Dalmatians Breeze, Cody and Mac in the Bay Area of San Francisco. Mac is the cover model for the photo on the jacket cover of BESPOTTED.
Visit Linda on her website at lindagraysexton.com

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 116 reviews
Profile Image for tee.
239 reviews238 followers
July 29, 2010
I really loved this. I came to it wanting to know more about Anne Sexton, but ended up finding myself enamoured with Linda herself (Anne'a daughter and the author of this book).

I did indeed find out more about Anne Sexton - and when I finished the book, I feel like I now understand her life, and her more fully (having read Middlebrook's biography also). Linda Gray Sexton is a fabulous writer, I didn't put the book down. I started it, unsure of how I'd feel, and what'd I'd think about Linda - wondering whether she was using her mother's name just to get some attention. I finished the book not feeling this way at all. Linda comes across as being an extremely well-grounded, intelligent person, something I find to be extraordinary considering her childhood. Sure, she's struggled with depression and grief, but she is in no way a trainwreck. She is really likable, consider me smitten.

She writes of her childhood, of her seperations when she was sent to various relatives houses. She writes of her parent's relationship from her perspective (the horrifying domestic abuse and violent fights that she was witness to), she also talks of the incest that occurred which was quite troubling to read (so beware if you feel you may be triggered by this) but also she writes of better aspects of her childhood and her relationship with her mother - Christmastime, her bond with Anne over poetry in her teen years. Later, she writes of her growing distance between her and her mother, shortly before Anne's suicide. And she also writes of the years following, sorting out her mother's writing, her deepening bond with her father, having her own two sons and her own battles with depression, which she writes about admirably - not only because of her determination to be a good mother, but because of her honesty, and her beautiful way with words.

Here, two excerpts of her writing of depression and it's affect on her life, and Anne's.

"Previously depression had meant a gloom to me - a gloom, nearly visual, that descended before my eyes and made it difficult to think or see clearly. I became a gray person. But this felt different: this time my depression had developed into a physical pain. I found myself stooping as it gnawed at my stomach. Like a tumor, it went with me wherever I went, for whatever I was doing. It spread ts tentacles wide, and took deep root."

&

"My mother died of depression. Untreatable, increasing depression. Why, when we refer to depression, do we think of it in the main as a state characterized by numbness and low spirits rather than intense suffering. Why, in fact, is the word pain rarely used when describing depression. The dictionary uses synonyms such as melancholy, depsondency, and sadness."

The only thing I did dislike was her apparent a disgust with lesbianism that comes up several times, subtly, throughout the book - which bemused me, until I realised that it may be a somewhat unconscious reaction to the molestation by her mother. This is a woman whose life was shaped so massively by her mother, her childhood, her teen years, her early twenties - her mother was dependant on her and so intrusive on Linda's life.

Even after her suicide, she continues to be a part of Linda's life as LInda is in charge of Anne's literary work. And she's just as much of a damaging force after death, as she was in life. Linda had to plough through letters, read about her mother's extramarital affairs, read transcriptions of her therapy sessions. And then, she has to deal with the tapes of Anne's sessions with Dr Orne, which she decides to release to Middlebrook for her biography. Something I'm grateful of, as I too believe that Anne would have wanted the world to know every little gritty detail about herself.

Here, she writes of how her mother was/is still a major part of her life, even after death, when a fan of Anne's calls Linda at her home.

"She wanted nothing but to chat. The episode jolted me from the present back into the nightmare slide of childhood when everything felt so out of control: who knew when or how the eerily skewed balance of mental illness would intrude into my world, break open my privacy, cause me anxiety - even it if was delivered from the voice of a near stranger over the telephone."

Can you even begin to imagine what this woman's life has been like?

It was interesting too, to read - that Linda had wanted a biographer to focus on Anne's work, rather than one that had a sensational bent. When I read Middlebrook's biography, I found it to be heavily focused on Anne's work and in my review of it, mention that, as well as that I felt that Middlebrook somewhat disapproved of Anne's lifestyle, and that she held a certain disdain towards her - something which Linda does indeed prove to be true in this memoir (she mentions a coversation that they both have in which these things are touched on).

Linda provides such a deeply personal view into both Anne's and her own life, writing with emotion that often touched me, here's a paragraph that gives a good example of, well, everything; Linda's beautiful writing style, her complex relationship with her mother, an insight into her as a person and Anne herself:

"She took that audience into her heart with frankness, humour and spontaneity. I watched the adulation and realized that the audience had become her family now - they were the ones who loved her without reservation. My friends, fellow students, teachers - all had expressions of awe on their faces. Rapture. And I was jealous, unspeakably jealous. In that moment I hated her and her power absolutely. In that moment I loved her and her power absolutely. She stood before us, her voice pure thunder."

Considering how horrid Anne could be a lot of the time, I was surprised by the amount of compassion that Linda has for her. But don't get me wrong, she doesn't condone her behaviour, but is instead, frank and honest - and forgiving. I hope that Linda found writing this book to be as cathartic as she had hoped. It was an incredible read.
Profile Image for Kimber.
223 reviews113 followers
April 13, 2025
Beautifully written memoir showcasing Linda Sexton's writing talent, perhaps a gift from her mother, the poet Anne Sexton. Linda also inherited her mother's literary estate and had to deal with all of her papers at the end of her life even inexplicably deciding to release her therapy records to her biographer. Linda insists that because Anne shared so much of herself that she would not have minded and perhaps Linda does know how her mom would feel but still Anne didn't get a say in this. And besides she shared taboo information in her poetry, yes but she turned it into Art and she used metaphor mostly.

Anne went into psychotherapy to dig things up, to work with the unconscious. She was brave and honest in this work that never cured her but only seemed to make her worse. Anne even commented in those records to Orne: "What's the difference if I write poems or talk to you? It's the same thing. The last line of a poem is an insight."

Linda gave us the viewpoint of the daughter and what she endured because of Anne's neglect and abuse, even sexual abuse which is difficult to read. It's interesting that in sharing this, she is doing what Anne did- using literary expression as a means of therapy.

In Anne's suicide I feel that there was a self-punishment, a self-hatred which also comes out in her poetry. When she killed herself she sat in the front seat of her car, Vodka in hand, garage door closed & started the ignition. I wonder if she listened to music? I wonder what her last thoughts were.

"and at the last moment
when death opens the back door
you'll put on your carpet slippers
and stride out."
-"Courage," 1974
Profile Image for Marianne.
1,463 reviews47 followers
July 6, 2018
Incredibly hard to read (it literally made me sick about 2/3 of the way through, and I put off reading it for months), and incredibly worth the effort.

Every kind of trigger warning around dysfunctional families that I can think of applies: physical abuse, child sexual abuse, suicide, emotional manipulation, verbal abuse, neglect, alcoholism, invasive abuse of privacy and control, etcetcetcetc. And the author pulls no punches in her descriptions. (Or at least, she pulls few enough punches that the descriptions ring very very true.)

To take such things in your family history and make them into art, with all the power and recognition and beauty and truth that entails, is admirable - I continue to admire it in Anne Sexton even as I look clearly at the damage she did to her daughter, in whom I also admire it; to take them, and somehow make of them a good life, a healthy one, a life full of love that doesn't rot or scar, even if it is sometimes sorely tested, is what I work on every day, and it's a great balm and comfort any time I can read the words of someone who goes about the same work. So I am very grateful to this author for sharing her story, and for having written at least one more book after this one, one that's about raising Dalmatians, which I suspect (even though it may have some hard parts) will be much lighter, but also a balm to me. If you ever read this review, Ms. Sexton, thank you so much for so many things that often remain unsaid.
Profile Image for Pearl.
285 reviews30 followers
August 2, 2024
When my lil crust-punk best friend first handed me The Complete Poems by Anne Sexton in our favourite English language bookshop in the city, I wrinkled my nose and aired the only bit of tumblr-borne knowledge I had about the woman: “you know she sexually abused her daughter right?�

I had the mean little satisfaction of watching her face crumple in disgust. She put the collection back as though handling a dead fish. We turned to another shelf. But I remained a little annoyed at myself. After all this fact didn’t sit in any sort of nest of Joan-Crawford-level-clotheshanger-knowledge for me. It was literally all I knew about Anne Sexton.

We went home with our stacks of books, and I found myself googling the poet- if only to have a bit more to say if my friend ever asked again. I read some of her poetry and well. I loved it. I read more and began to feel a bit worried. Did I know all the facts?

This book by Sexton’s daughter Linda is as close to the facts as I ever will or want to come. I think what surprised me more than anything is how much I admire and love Anne Sexton, right along side her daughter. She was wild, cool and magnetic. She was also abusive, seriously ill and cruel.

I’m glad I read this book, right alongside reading her collection of poems. I think we as a modern world like to pin people down as one thing, and one thing only. Yes, Anne Sexton abused her daughter. But her daughter still loved her, and her poetry is still magnificent. Neither one cancels out the other.

It was my friends birthday last week. Once again we trudged through the snow to the bookshop. I bought her the Complete Poems.
Profile Image for Janet.
AuthorÌý22 books88.8k followers
November 16, 2010
I've read this at least four times, what a picture of a childhood dominated by a difficult, spectacular mother. I love Anne Sexton's poetry, and the biography by Diane Middlebrook--and this adds the third dimension to the portrait in my head of a troubled, talented artist. How insightful this book is, how un-self-pitying, made me really like and trust LGS as an authorial voice. Spectacular. Also recommend the Middlebook biography. And of course, the complete poems of Anne Sexton--mine is falling apart, time for a new one, next time hardbound. And do not miss the recordings of Sexton reading her own work--what a performer! I can hear her as I read her work on the page now.
Profile Image for Ally Stefanides.
18 reviews18 followers
April 18, 2011
Linda Sexton's book fills me with both guilt and hope. As someone who is both a mother and mentally ill I was gripped with pain as I read how deeply scarred she was by her mother's behaviour and filled with hope by how understanding and forgiving she is about it. Linda holds nothing back and gives us deep insight not only into being the child of a mentally ill poet, but of the process of both her and her mother's writing as well as that of Diane Middlebrook.
I love this book for it's naked honesty and for it's letting me take a peek inside the psyche of the child of a mentally ill woman. I can only hope I have not hurt my children as badly as Anne hurt hers and that my own children will be able to understand and forgive as Linda Sexton has.
Profile Image for Jamie.
321 reviews261 followers
July 6, 2008
Wow, what a ride. I adore Anne Sexton, and have a decent background in my personal studies of her, but certainly didn't expect to be hit so hard with this. I don't even know where to begin with this memoir from her eldest daughter, Linda Gray. It was, for one thing, an incredibly painful read. I had to put it down at several instances, simply because LG writes from such a raw place--I remember ending the chapter about "The Making of a Literary Executor" and just being unable to continue without getting too emotionally caught up in the story. I have so much respect for LG after reading this--especially considering I had no idea she faced such a backlash from her contributions to Diane Middlebrook's (brilliant) biography. I couldn't say much in the way of truly reviewing this memoir, only that it provides an incredibly balanced (IMO), real, and humane look at the Anne Sexton who lived behind the enigma of her larger-than-life literary/celebrity persona. This and Middlebrook's bio should be the first go-tos for anyone interested in learning more about Anne Sexton's life beyond the art. I have no doubt that AS was a very, very sick woman who managed to struggle through her own demons in order to produce some of the greatest poetry of the century. Now the only thing I'm still curious about in AS' life is the Plath connection. It seems everyone just breezes over it in biographies for either woman--I want more! I'm really interested in the intertextuality of some of their work, in addition to being morbidly fascinated by their post-workshop martinis and shared death-wishes.
Profile Image for Ellen.
124 reviews5 followers
August 30, 2011
I misjudged this book and this writer. I did not understand that her refusal to take her mother's calls as Anne Sexton beggged for companionship in her final, terrible solitude is told from the point of view of a girl who was tired of her mother's destruction of any "normalcy" in their family life, a girl who was tired of the emotional upheavals of each trip to the emergency room, who wanted, and said she wanted, her mother dead at last, who did not see what the skillful author of later years allows the reader to see: that Anne Sexton knew she could never get well, that Anne Sexton killed herself in a manner that would make her death a certainty.

We learn of unpeakable acts that Linda Gray Sexton was subjected to as a child but not the full revelation until she is confronted with an overwhelming memory during a session with her psychiatrist. We read throughout of the anger of the daughters: why was "Mother" engaging in bizarre behavior like lying face down in the mashed potatoes, why did mother have long periods of unresponsiveness, how could mother simply be at times unable to cook? Couldn't she just take control of herself? Surely she could if she wanted. Surely she was merely weak and selfish.

Later, Linda Gray Sexton begins to suffer her own dark, dark depressions, depressions that are painful, that manifest themselves in physical pain. As she month after month moves through an impenetrable fog, she sees that her mother knew she had no way out of the pain other than suicide. Her mother did not have available to her that could and sometimes did help Linda Gray Sexton.

Interestingly, inn her book published this year, Sexton reveals her own anguish and suicide attempts, her own inability to just magically be better. I am sure her own children just thought she could.
Profile Image for david.
479 reviews17 followers
December 3, 2021
Many have read the poetry of Anne Sexton.

We have done the same with Sylvia Plath.

Both died young and by suicide.

Anne’s daughter, Linda, wrote this memoir/biography of her life with the Pulitzer Prize recipient.

I wanted to stop reading this story often. The abuse was much.

Anne Sexton is a grotesque creature, according to her daughter’s story here.

Everything Linda writes rings true to me.

Upon finishing this book, I think I would rather be a citizen of Lebanon than the daughter of this poetess.

Behind all beauty there lies something so dark; it never ceases to amaze.

I would recommend this book.
Profile Image for Mitchell.
236 reviews11 followers
March 11, 2019
CW: discussion of sexual assault

This is a hard book to review for me, in part because I feel totally blindsided by a lot of information that I didn't learn about in college. Anne Sexton was one of my favorite authors, and it's always tricky, I think, to balance your appreciation for art with a recognition that someone lived a flawed life. (And, obvs, we all do. At the same time: yikes. Yikes, yikes, yikes.)

At its core, this definitely succeeds as a memoir. Analyzing Anne Sexton's problematic life and its impact on her work is the work of scholars and admirers—not the work of a daughter trying to make sense of her mother's life and her own. While I had a lot of thoughts about Anne Sexton and how we should remember her, it is right and good for me to have suspicions and problems and at the same time right and good for Linda Gray Sexton to not go the same places as me. This book is highly analytical and detailed, which certainly helps. But still, at its core it is about a woman who misses the mom who loved her and hurt her, and it does that well.

I wasn't overly enamored by the writing, but it kept me engaged for the better part of two sittings. The middle section of the book was the slowest, for me. That said, by the end we can see how Linda Gray Sexton was able to turn some of her grief into art, and I respected that a lot. Publishing this was gutsy and bold, and I appreciate that aspect of the book.

Aspects of the book are dated, especially when it comes to disability and sexual assault. Linda Gray Sexton ultimately says that her mother did not "rape" her—which I believe is true. In modern parlance, however, we would call masturbating on someone "sexual assault," because it wasn't consensual, it wasn't right, and it is not enough to reduce the act to Anne's traumas. I am grateful that Linda Gray Sexton didn't shy away from the topic, despite the fact that it was undoubtedly painful and shameful. She says as such! I don't count it against the book that it doesn't use language that hadn't been made popular yet, but it does seem worth recognizing.

There's also a lot to be said about how disability functions in this book, especially knowing that psychological care was not nearly so advanced back in the day. In the end, Linda Gray Sexton concludes "[Anne Sexton] had sought death because she believed she had no alternative. A life of pain is not a life worth living. She was not a coward, but instead a realist" (294). I know that a lot of disability activists would have a problem with this line of thinking—suggesting that chronic and mental illness make life worthless is a great way to start a path down to eugenics and that kind of terrible thing. Plus, it devalues disabled people's lives. Not great.

But that said, Linda Anne Sexton also seemed to end on a note that I've heard echoed in modern discourse:

"How often has it been speculated that the madness makes the art? If Mother were alive today she would shake her head in disagreement and remind all questioners that when you are submerged in pain and confusion you are not able to create anything at all. You work too hard simply to survive" (295).


For all that this book is hindered by outdated ideas about mental illness, this line really struck me as an ending point, insisting that mental illness is not the source of art and it isn't the magical key to fame or true poetry. That, at least, gave me something positive to end on.

In the end, this book was good because it was honest. There were no moments that swept unsightly and ugly details under the rug, leaving obvious holes in the story that leave us suspecting, but not wondering. This book encourages us to think, but does not leave us to question reality as it took place. Maybe this appealed to me as a naturally nosy person, maybe it appeals because I've gone to one-too-many biography pages hoping for some insight into a person's life and found it devoid of details due to a desire for decency or privacy. Linda Gray Sexton skipped over that and gave the bad details along with the good, and so while it is not exactly a good story, it is a good homage to a complicated, sometimes loving, sometimes abusive, relationship that is worth remembering.
Profile Image for Mary K.
545 reviews24 followers
January 5, 2022
Tragic memoir, beautifully written. Brutally honest. The only aspect that was off putting was that her mother was mentally ill - and wow was she ever - so the last section where the author “empathizes� with her mother because they both suffered from depression doesn’t entirely work. Her mother also was clearly narcissistic
Profile Image for Katherine.
20 reviews1 follower
December 28, 2007
Heart wrenching, a memoir written by Linda Gray Sexton (Anne's daughter). Actually maybe fans of Anne Sexton shouldn't read this book, it doesn't paint a pretty portrait of her. Selfish, crazy and just awful woman.
Profile Image for Liz Mourant.
9 reviews1 follower
June 14, 2012
So badly written and subjective I cannot get past Chapter one.

Profile Image for Raquel Casas.
301 reviews211 followers
October 14, 2020
Heredamos mochilas, eso es indudable, y Linda Gray Sexton se para en «Buscando Mercy Street» a mirar el contenido de la suya, la heredada de su madre Anne Sexton.
🥀
Pero, ¿qué es Mercy Street? Fue una búsqueda metafórica de un lugar en el que Anne Sexton esperaba encontrar el perdón, la calma:
«45 de Mercy Street.
Conozco la vidriera
del vestíbulo,
los tres pisos de la casa
con sus suelos de parqué.
Conozco los muebles y
a la madre, la abuela, la bisabuela,
a los sirvientes (...)
La conozco bien.
No está ahí».
🥀
Esa misma búsqueda obsesiona a Linda Gray tras el suicidio de su madre, cuando ella tenía veintiún años. Una madre que la amó y la odió. Que la expulsó de su vida al mismo tiempo que la manipuló para retenerla. Una madre conflictiva, violenta a ratos y tierna a otros, brillante y cruel, déspota y frágil. ¿Cómo cargar con una mochila así, tan compleja y ambivalente?
🥀
Linda Gray se exorciza a través de la escritura, mostrándonos una faceta de esta prestigiosa poeta con unas sombras terribles. Terrible es cuando narra que la madre la dejó, tras ser internada (el padre, viajante, no “podía� hacerse cargo de ella) en casa de unos tíos que la maltrataron o cuando cuenta cómo se masturbaba delante de ella. Toda la fascinación y rechazo que puede provocar la figura de una madre aparecen en la vida de Linda Gray con toda su inmensidad.
🥀
Un relato de luces y sombras. Un relato de reconciliación perturbador y terapéutico que se desborda tanto por lo que cuenta que el cómo lo cuenta pasa a un segundo plano (a veces el estilo me resultó repetitivo y simplón). Unas memorias fundamentales para conocer mejor a Anne Sexton y para profundizar en los claroscuros de unas maternidades mal gestionadas.
🥀

#LindaGraySexton #AnneSexton #MaternidadesLit #MatLit #PostEnredadera #NarrativaEstadounidense #RelacionesMadreEHija #LibrosAncla #MujeresYLocura
Profile Image for Heather Wilson.
4 reviews4 followers
August 24, 2008
This one is certianly taking me a while to finish. I'm certainly not opposed to reading morbid stories involving physical, emotional and sexual abuse (if I was, I wouldn't have read nearly everything on Oprah's book list when in college), but I can only take so much. Ann Sexton's poetry hits me hard enough as is. Reading her daughter's memories is difficult. Perhaps her holier-than-though attitude doesn't help. And as intelligent as Linda Grey might be, I'm wondering exactly how she has such vivid memories of her separation from her mother when she was only two-years-old.

I can't help but want to defend Ann Sexton against such allegations, but of course, her own writing doesn't make it to easy, does it?

I've still got quite a bit left to read, so I don't have much of a final opinion yet.
Profile Image for Pascal Scott.
AuthorÌý14 books28 followers
March 2, 2020
I read Linda Gray Sexton's story because I'm writing a character who has a narcissistic poet mother. Anne Sexton fits the profile. Reading this painful memoir made me consider the question, again: does good writing justify bad behavior? When I was young I thought that, somehow, it did, but in my old age, I don't. Anne Sexton was a terrible mother and unfaithful wife. Clearly, she was mentally ill, but that doesn't excuse the damage she did to those around her. And her poetry, which today seems morbid and maudlin and very much a product of the 1960s (as James Dickey said at the time), doesn't justify it, either. Tragic, all the way around.
Profile Image for courtney.
95 reviews38 followers
July 1, 2007
harrowing, but fascinating account of the family life of poet anne sexton. her daughter, linda gray sexton, is the subject of the piece "Little Girl, My String Bean, My Lovely Woman" a very sweet and charming piece until the reality of the situation begins to take shape. that linda gray sexton is as fair and forgiving as she is is pretty amazing. would make an interesting counterpoint to some chapters in betty friedan's feminine mystique.
Profile Image for Heather Fineisen.
1,338 reviews116 followers
November 8, 2013
This is a raw and often uncomfortable look at Anne Sexton through the eyes of her daughter, Linda. Like Sexton' s poetry, there is pain and violence and sex and honesty and illness and still there are many open wounds.
Profile Image for Christine Fay.
994 reviews51 followers
February 3, 2015
This is yet another memoir written about the author’s tumultuous relationship with her mother, Anne Sexton, a famous poet who committed suicide. In this revealing and oftentimes sorrowful story, Linda reveals some of her mother’s indiscretions, some of which involved sexual abuse. Growing up in a violent household where her mother’s mental illness took center stage left Linda with residual issues herself, often suffering from bouts of depression. One great quote from page 95, “As I began to write I discovered what Mother had discovered: writing is magic because it harnesses the energy generated by the chaos within. Writing works better at cleaning up the mess than doing laundry or making beds.� Also, on page 39, “We transcend many experiences � angry parents, fierce teachers, the taunts of both enemies and friends � particularly if we write of them. Whether captured in language or not, these experiences ultimately toughen the soul; to them we owe our mettle.� It took me a while to finish this book because it was so dense with metaphors and valuable insights into a mother-daughter relationship with difficult boundaries.
Profile Image for Karen.
1,100 reviews1 follower
March 17, 2016
This memoir by the eldest daughter of Pulitzer Prize- winning poet Anne Sexton, a suicide in 1974 at age 45, makes Christina Crawford's Mommie Dearest look like a paean of daughterly love. Linda Sexton writes scenes of the flamboyant housewife/mental patient/poet passing out in her mashed potatoes, goading her husband into merciless beatings, and masturbating compulsively in front of her daughters. It gets worse and better, sort of, as Linda's own experiences with mental illness lead her to an understanding of her mother's tormented life. I did not like this book.
Profile Image for Jose Carlos.
AuthorÌý15 books666 followers
May 26, 2018
Linda Gray Sexton: Buscando Mercy Street o la verdadera dueña de la herida

Hace un mes y pico llegó a mis manos uno de esos libros que ya sabes, incluso mucho antes de leerlo, que va a significar algo profundo en tu vida, que será capaz de alterar, de cambiar tus esquemas, tus ideas, que te marcará estableciendo un antes y un después. Abrí las puertas de mi casa al volumen que por cortesía de Ainize Salaberri, la traductora, iba a instalarse como un pulpo en mi butaca de lectura, apresándome con sus tentáculos y forzándome a reflexionar sobre el suicidio, la muerte, la familia, los hijos, la poesía, la creación literaria� Como todo buen libro trata de todos aquellos asuntos que nos inquietan, hurga en los armarios y desvanes de nuestros miedos, sale al encuentro de las cuentas pendientes que poseemos, y consigue que volvamos a recapacitar sobre ellas. Se trata de uno de los libros del año hasta el momento, Buscando Mercy Street. El reencuentro con mi madre, Anne Sexton(Navona).

Linda Gray Sexton lleva a acabo un ajuste de cuentas con su madre, la poeta Anne Sexton, uno de los personajes más icónicos de la cultura norteamericana de los años sesenta. Verdaderamente, la hija tiene mucho que reprocharle a su madre, y el libro es el resultado de muchos años de angustia y carga de fantasmas del pasado, traumas infantiles y responsabilidades insoportables.

Nos enfrentamos, así, a un libro que es una autobiografía a dos, tal vez un paso a dos destructivo, porque mientras Linda trata de contar y explicar la relación con su madre, se nos muestra el proceso destructivo de Anne Sexton y el propio mecanismo kamikaze de su hija. Es un relato de las formas en las que una persona puede aniquilarse, liquidando, además, todo lo que le rodea y ama.
El primer párrafo del libro es significativo respecto a lo que Linda Gray tuvo que vivir con la enfermedad de su madre:

“Mi historia como hija y la historia de mi madre como madre comenzó en los suburbios de Boston, en los años 50, cuando me expulsaron de la casa de mi infancia para hacer sitio a alguien más: la enfermedad mental de mi madre, que vivía entre nosotros como la quinta persona en discordia�.
Anne Sexton padecía una enfermedad mental, psiquiátrica, que podríamos reducir simplemente —y terriblemente� a que era víctima de depresiones; unas depresiones que se alimentaban de unas poderosas tendencias suicidas. La vida de Anne Sexton fue un continuo rosario de sesiones psiquiátricas y visitas a hospitales, de lavados de estómago y periodos de trance en los cuales caía en suspenso, de botes de pastillas y paseos por el filo de la muerte.

er la hija de una madre así no es algo que pueda resultar sencillo, y dejará marca en el futuro. Por eso, Linda Gray Sexton tiene mucho que reprochar a su madre, por un comportamiento que muy bien podría haber terminado con la propia hija muerta. Anne Sexton le dijo a su terapeuta que sentía ganas de ahogarla, y mantuvo con ella una extraña relación de odio y amor perturbadora, hasta el punto de incluir los abusos sexuales y el intento de incesto.

Son confesiones que no habrán agradado a la familia, es obvio, ni tampoco a los muchos fanáticos de la poeta. Linda Gray confiesa los abusos sexuales a los que la sometía su madre, que solía masturbarse en su presencia o, incluso, frotándose contra ella, aireando una relación enfermiza como parte de un libro en el que desea de corazón poder perdonar a su madre.

Anne Sexton llegó a la poesía desde la locura, desde la enfermedad, porque se inició en la escritura creativa como una recomendación de su psiquiatra, buscando la forma de canalizar lo que sentía. Por ello, la poesía de Sexton es consecuencia de una enfermedad, y no la causa del genio enloquecido y creador desbocado, lo que da mucho que pensar y reflexionar acerca del mito. Linda Gray lo tiene muy claro a este respecto:

“¿Con qué frecuencia se ha especulado que la locura crea arte? Si mi madre estuviese viva hoy en día, sacudiría la cabeza en total desacuerdo y recordaría a todos los interrogadores que cuando estás hundida en el dolor y la confusión, no eres capaz de crear nada. Simplemente, trabajas muy duro para sobrevivir�.

La poeta fue destrozando todo a su alrededor: primero acabó con su matrimonio, luego alejó de ella a sus hijas, después extravió su personalidad� Cuando peor estaba asestó el golpe de gracia: se catapultó a la inmortalidad desde una poesía de versos confesionales, desde una poesía de vermús y vodkas, desde una poesía de monóxido de carbono que muchas veces es irrespirable porque la fuerza de los latidos de la muerte retumba en ella.

En uno de los talleres literarios a los que acudía para limar sus poemas conoció a Sylvia Plath, entablando una amistad que solo pueden establecer dos personas que se reconocen como ya muertas de antemano. Sylvia se suicidó antes y Sexton le confesó a su psiquiatra que aquella muerte le pertenecía a ella, que Sylvia se le había adelantado arrebatándole la gloria del suicidio. Ambas entendían la literatura como un esqueleto. Los versos como costillares, las palabras como huesecillos. El libro era un ataúd. La poesía el epitafio.

Sylvia Plath era muy dueña de aquellos impulsos, de ese suicidio, tal y como lo anunciaba en su poema Lady Lázaro:

“M´Ç°ù¾±°ù
es un arte, como todo.
Yo lo hago excepcionalmente bien.
Tan bien que es una barbaridad.
Tan bien que parece real.
Se diría, supongo, que tengo el don�.

Linda Gray recuerda momentos insoportables de la infancia: su madre en estado catatónico sobre la mesa, con la cara sumergida en el plato de puré de patatas; su madre esgrimiendo una sexualidad agresiva que la llevó a mantener diferentes amantes mientras estaba casada e, incluso, una relación lésbica; su madre cometiendo el suicidio, una y otra vez, hasta que le salió bien.

En cierto modo, el suicidio de Sexton fue como el proceso de componer una poesía. Lo escribió varias veces en un borrador —en nueve ocasiones�, hasta que dio con la versión definitiva y correcta. No en vano, para el poeta del surrealismo francés Jacques Rigaut: “El suicidio es una vocación�.

De manera que Buscando Mercy Street es un recorrido de Linda por aquella infancia terrible junto a una madre ausente, el viaje por una adolescencia imposible junto a una diva de la poesía, y el intento de ganar la edad adulta con la carga de las culpas generadas en esa relación materno filial repleta de problemas y que desembocó en una muerte de la que la hija siempre se ha sentido, en parte, culpable.

El libro invita a reflexionar sobre la relación que nosotros hemos tenido con nuestros padres, la forma en que estamos educando y ocupándonos de nuestros hijos, la manera en la que somos capaces o incapaces de enfrentarnos a nuestras limitaciones y, si en algún momento la idea de suicidio a brotado en nuestras cabezas, cómo la hemos combatido y si verdaderamente la hemos desterrado del todo.

Linda Gray nos obliga a pensar sobre la depresión, mucho más en el caso de que la hayamos padecido, y sobre la muerte, esa muerte que siempre tenemos tan cercana, por mucho que la queramos obviar. Y sobre el binomio que une, al parecer lo hace con grilletes de acero, el impulso creador y la negra bestia destructiva del suicidio. Poesía y malditos, alcohol y escritura: vive o muere.

“El suicidio no añade a la poesía nada de nada�, dice Al Alvarez en su libro El dios salvaje (Emecé) una reflexión sobre el suicidio con motivo de la muerte de su amiga Sylvia Plath. Al Alvarez, escritor británico, había intentado suicidarse en 1961, antes que Sylvia, pero falló. En la obra, un ensayo sobre la historia del suicidio con especial atención a los suicidas literarios, intenta desentrañar ese oscuro agujero de desesperación que se abre en el suicida y que Albert Camus define: “El suicidio se prepara en el silencio del corazón, y es una gran obra de arte�.

De manera que el libro de Linda Gray es la historia de una hija que tiene que acostumbrarse a convivir con la continua presencia de la muerte:

“La muerte vivía en nuestra casa: acechaba en los pequeños botes farmacéuticos de la torazina, hidrato de cloral, pentobarbital y deprol sobre la cómoda de mi madre; en las jarras de bebida, en la punta de la lengua de mi madre o en los puños cerrados de mi padre; esperaba paciente en el coche aparcado en el gran garaje; tras las rejas del hospital psiquiátrico�.

Tal y como la define Linda, Anne Sexton era “su enfermedad mental�, eso la caracterizaba, lo eclipsaba todo hasta el punto de que casi parece milagroso que de entre tanta oscuridad pudiera aparecer la luz de su poesía. Porque Linda se apresura a destruir los estúpidos presupuestos y estereotipos sobre locura, suicidio y genialidad. A lo mejor, Camus no tenía mucha razón cuando formuló es de “la gran obra de arte�:

“La historia de la vida de mi madre, vista desde ciertas estereotipadas perspectivas, podía degenerar en un caso escandalosos que ofreciese una variedad de hipótesis superficiales: el arte depende de la locura; el suicidio es un modo glamuroso de morir; la depresión es un requisito indispensable para la mente creativa y pensante�.

Por eso, Linda no tiene reparos a la hora de narrar cómo ella misma se aproxima hasta justo el borde del suicidio, a punto de imitar a su madre, y consigue evitarlo. Al mostrarnos ese proceso, nos enseña que la situación sólo acarrea sufrimiento (a sus hijos, a su marido) y que no contiene ni una gota de encanto, genio, ni lucidez original. Por otra parte, que Linda intentara suicidarse, o estuviera a punto, con el bagaje que traía desde la infancia, casi parece la salida fácil al callejón pavoroso en el que estaba extraviada.

De esta manera, la extensísima autobiografía, biografía, testimonio o confesión, llámese como se quiera a este Buscando Mercy Street de más de 500 páginas que pone en pie Linda Gray, es un ejercicio de recuperación de la figura de su madre, una puesta en orden de un pasado terrible y doloroso, y un ejercicio de amor (con Anne, con ella misma, con el mundo) que intenta reparar los dolores y calmar la memoria castigada de una hija que asistió a la metamorfosis desbocada de su madre: de la enfermedad a la poesía, pasando por la destrucción y llegando a la forma más estúpida de suicidio.

Linda Gray reflexiona cerca de la conclusión del libro:

“Dejémonos poder decir al final: este es el precio y la recompensa de la locura; este es el precio y la recompensa de ser un genio (�) A todos nos dañó vivir su vida a su lado, tras ella, a ala sombra, dándole la mano: esa es la realidad (�) La única forma de superar el dolor es contarlo y hacerlo con honestidad�.

Porque Anne Sexton, a los ojos de su hija, que demuestra tener una visión muy clara de lo vivido:
“Era cariñosa y amable, pero también estaba enferma y era destructiva. Intentó ser una buena madre pero, y esta es la verdad, no lo fue. Mi madre era humana, simplemente, y estaba sujeta a todo tipo de debilidades y problemas, Hay quien solo desea recordarla bajo cierta luz, una especie de leyenda�.

Linda Gray nos muestra a la mujer que aparece entre las grietas del estucado de poeta, entre los resquicios del mito literario: un ser de carne y hueso que ama y odia, que vive y muere, que daña a lo que le rodea, que ama a lo que le rodea, sin posibilidad de redención.

Todo ello, narrado de una forma vertiginosa, fácil y ágil, que consigue que las páginas vuelen en la lectura, algo de lo que tiene gran parte de culpa la traducción de Ainize Salaberri, firme y contundente, logrando una versión amena muy necesaria para un texto largo que no trata, además, cuestiones agradables. Ainize se convierte en la voz española de Linda Gray, hasta el punto de firmar un pequeño y delicioso epílogo titulado Deliciosamente loca, de donde me quedo con una frase:

“Parece que Ane Sexton estuvo siempre muriendo en vez de viviendo�.

Quizás, por eso, su poesía confesional me resulta tan agónica. Pude leerla por primera vez en la edición española de Vive o muere (Vitruvio) editada en el año 2008, así que yo soy de los que ha llegado relativamente tarde a Sexton, al contrario que a Sylvia Plath, a la que conocía desde hacía muchísimos años. Aunque se da el caso de que mi primera noticia de Anne Sexton se albergaba en el interior de la canción Mercy Street de Peter Gabriel, perteneciente al disco So, de 1986. Desde entonces todo fue curiosidad y ganas de entender a esta escritora. Ahora, el libro de su hija termina de aportarme la luz que necesitaba.

Sigo teniendo pendiente el hacerme con su Poesía completa publicada por la editorial Linteo en 2013; un volumen de 939 páginas a un precio prohibitivo de 40 eurazos y, ya lo sabemos todos, los comparatistas no podemos permitirnos ciertos lujos.

Afortunadamente, y por la gentileza de su traductora, he podido navegar por este magnífico libro que ha editado Navona, y que la autora define como un “viaje de duelo por mi madre� en donde la máxima de Al Alvarez consignada en su ensayo El dios salvaje cobra el mayor de los sentidos:
“La pasión por destruir es también una pasión creativa�.

Al fin y al cabo, Anne Sexton murió, pero dejó en este mundo a sus hijas y, una de ellas, Linda Gray, heredó todas las heridas de la madre, convirtiéndose en la dueña de un dolor tan enorme como inmerecido. Al menos, de ese mal, se ha generado un libro como este Buscando Mercy Street, para alegría de todos nosotros y alivio de su autora. Y por ello, para agradecer el excelente rato que he pasado con su lectura, he querido traerlo hoy aquí, a mi columna de El Odradek.

La figura como poeta de Anne Sexton, a pesar de lo que se diga de ella en el texto como mujer, como persona, como madre, como esposa, continuará inmutable y gigantesca, porque se defiende en sus poemas de las terribles afrentas de la vida. Y en esos poemas, Anne Sexton siempre lleva las de ganar. Es decir, las de vivir. Vivir eternamente en las hojas de papel que reproducen sus versos. Nada de lo que hiciera en vida podrá sacarla, nunca, ya de allí.
Profile Image for Eadle.
318 reviews7 followers
April 12, 2022
My knowledge of Anne Sexton amounted to reading some of her poetry (thumbs up)and the knowledge she had committed suicide. Not much. Not enough.

Reading THE LAST CONFESSIONS OF SYLVIA P stirred a curiosity of her life, not just the legacy of her poetry. I am still very curious how much of depiction and actions of Boston Rhodes—a thinly-veiled Anne Sexton—was fictionalized. I’m waiting for the Middlebrook biography to arrive—it’s not on Kindle, and in the meantime I read this. I read so little nonfiction—it was time to take a turn off the well-worn fiction path.

Linda Gray Sexton is a very courageous woman in tackling the infinitely complex relationship with her mother. The memoir displays more than guts. She’s an excellent writer. As tough as it was for me to read, I can’t imagine how tough it was to write. I won’t attempt to address or analyze the controversies surrounding it, and the Middlebrook biography as well. It presents you with much to ponder about a multitude of subjects.
Profile Image for Misswood.
66 reviews
September 4, 2018
“Mamá, he mejorado tus recetas de la salsa de espaguetis y de la maternidad. He hecho mía tu capacidad para crear y para amar. Bendíceme mientras les ofrezco a tus nietos estas partes de ti�
Profile Image for Loida.
18 reviews1 follower
July 28, 2020
Por momentos me resultó una lectura pesada y repetitiva, aún así lo recomendaría como ejercicio de acercamiento a la psicología de Anne Sexton y su obra desde el punto de vista de su hija.
Profile Image for Dave.
371 reviews13 followers
March 8, 2018
It's fitting that Anne Sexton, an iconic poet, had a punk band - Anne Sexton and Her Kind, she lived the life a small time rockstar - sex, drugs, poetry, and suicide.

One of the her posthumous bombshells, was that her psychiatrist released tapes of his sessions with her. (Her other psychiatrist had an affair with her, but the APA thought the first was worse than the second). And the reason for this, and the reason why the tapes were turned over to her official biographer was to show the roots of poetry. Anne got her poems started from these sessions. It was her psychiatrist that encouraged her poetry.

This memoir also gets at the roots of poetry, Linda is a more well read and stable writer than her mother, and there are some very well written parts. Even if you are not an Anne Sexton fan, its an interesting memoir.

There have been a few books that state you don't have to be crazy mad tortured genius to be a great author. This is the counter point or the original argument that you do. This memoir doesn't hide or whitewash anything, but it's hard not to think that without all of Anne's antics should would still be the same poet.

Linda recently wrote another book about the legacy of suicide, I would be interest in that. Linda is Anne's literary executor, The Selected Poem's of Anne Sexton is wonderfully curated. I would recommend that as well.
Profile Image for Linda DiMeo Lowman.
423 reviews23 followers
November 23, 2018
Fasten your seat belt. This brutally honest memoir written by the daughter of Anne Sexton was a harrowing read for me. Her relationship with her mother and the abuse she suffered so closely mirrors mine that at times I had to stop reading until the next day. She glosses over nothing yet the enduring theme throughout the book is the love she felt and still feels for a mother that was larger than life. She also gives us a look into Sexton's creative process as she descended into a hell of mental illness, depression medication, and alcoholism. Topics include alcoholism, child abuse, sexual abuse, generational abuse, dysfunctional families, mental illness, suicidal ideation and suicide, poetry, writing, and Freudian analysis.

Every night when I put the book down, I thought about my own childhood and adulthood and was able to connect the dots in areas that previously seemed random.

As a writer, I admire the craftsmanship of the book. Each chapter begins with one of Anne Sexton's poems and the text takes us through what was happening in Sexton's family at the time. Ms. Sexton is as fine a writer as her mother was a poet.

Highly recommended.
Profile Image for Juan Carlos Nuño.
203 reviews2 followers
August 29, 2021
This was the book for my book club (July/August 2021)

This was a complicate reading. I think 2/3 of the book were really repetitive and I started getting tired of the book. Yeah, I got that Linda and Anne had a complicated relationship. But this was being told over and over again in just different ways.

However, the last third of the book was really good and why I am rating this book with 3 stars. I think that the struggles that Linda had to leave after her mother's passing and how she got to know that she abused her sexually really hit me. It was disgusting to read, let alone think what she felt.

My favorite quotes:

"[...] words and memory can be a gift - but they can be a threat as well".

"[...] at home words can ask reality but they do not change it".

"[...] wguke writers might hold magic in their hands, they lived in ordinary ways".

"Because I found out that a little love is better than no love at all".

"A life of pain is not a life worth living. She was not a coward, but instead a realist".
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