For her sake, he would destroy the world

"What normal girl loved physics? Abnormal ones. Ones who were not ever going to be hot. And face it, being hot? That was what life was all about."

That little girl inside of her who had dreamed of a father who read bedtime stories, and sheltered her from the evil deeds of the world, wanted to reach out and grab hold of the connection he had declared and never, ever let go. But the little girl who had grown up with a father who murdered people in their basement shuddered with fear and shooed the hope away with a scowl.

ā€œSheā€™s like the Hitler of Scottish pronunciation.ā€�
ā€œI heard that!ā€�
ā€œGood, maybe youā€™ll stop correcting me every five seconds.ā€�
ā€œMaybe youā€™ll start pronouncing words correctly and stop embarrassing me.ā€�
ā€œEmbarrassing you? Iā€™m sorry if I canā€™t understand why you people think itā€™s acceptable to name a street Cockburn Street just because you pronounce it Co-burn Street.ā€�

ā€œThey sent babies to do a manā€™s job.ā€�
ā€œWell, you know what they say about babies.ā€� The soul eater smirked. ā€œWhatā€™s that?ā€�
ā€œDonā€™t underestimate the amount of shit they can bring.ā€�

#5 ā€œBlah blah blah, Iā€™m a slutty witch, and the fires of hell await me, blah. You really need some new material. My mother can curse me out better than that.ā€�

#4 ā€œBugger me blind and bowlegged!ā€�

#3 Ian appeared to have recovered from his surprise. He gave Spade an almost accusatory look. ā€œYouā€™re shagging a woman who can turn into a dragon? Blast you, Charles, I am sick with envy!ā€�

#2 ā€œYour mum pounced on her and started sucking away. Wouldā€™ve been arousing if not for all the screaming.ā€� ā€œIan,ā€� Bones drew out warningly. He grinned. ā€œYouā€™re right. I was aroused anyway.ā€�

#1 ā€œIā€™ve watched you barely escape death several times, and each instance killed me a little inside. They may be dormant now, but we have enemies both cunning and cruel. Knowing you possess the power to defeat most of them doesnā€™t threaten me, luv. It relieves me to my very core.ā€�

*looks at David* "Ah yeah they told me to kill you"

"Wait what-"

"Yeah. Tough luck. Look we had some good times together but orders are orders" *pulls out gun and points at Davidā€™s head*

"Wait why are you-"

*pulls the trigger*

"Ah sh*t!" *looks at her watch* "Iā€™m late for my manicure appointment"

ā€œLet me out, you misbegotten daughter of Lilith!ā€� ā€œShut it, cat.ā€� I said. ā€œItā€™s for your own good.ā€�

#5 ā€œOh, come on. It was just a stupid drug dealer,ā€� I said, forcing myself to keep up the banter. ā€œIf it makes you feel any better, he was selling to kids.ā€� David crossed his arms and said nothing. ā€œThough I have to say nothing beats Type O mixed with a little cannabis.ā€�

#4 ā€œI guess you donā€™t get to watch much TV in Irkalla.ā€� He propped his head on one scaly bicep and turned to look at me. ā€œNah. We stayed busy torturing the souls of the damned and playing hide the hot poker. You know, the usual.ā€�

#3 ā€œYou know I canā€™t let you in without the password, Sabina.ā€�
ā€œCome on, Dirk,ā€�
ā€œSorry, babe. Gotta say the words.ā€�
ā€œFine.ā€� I sighed. ā€œCount Chocula.ā€� One of these days I was going to have to tell Ewan his sense of humor sucked.
ā€œAtta girl,ā€� Dirk said.

#2 Freaking males, I thought, they couldnā€™t be more obvious about their territorial dispute if theyā€™d both peed on me.

#1 Good assassins dispose of problems without remorse. Even if the problem was a friend.

In the future, be careful whom you rescue.

ā€œAnything in life was permissible ā€� as long as she looked pretty doing it.ā€�

ā€œIā€™m worried about you, Mummy. There are circles under your eyes, and you look tired all the time. Youā€™ve also been impossible to live with. Only yesterday you brought home the beige Givenchy kimono for me instead of the silver one I asked you to get.ā€�

I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.

I pointed to my right breast. ā€œThis is Danger.ā€� Then my left. ā€œAnd this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them accordingly.ā€�
After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, ā€œYou named your breasts?ā€�
I turned my back to him with a shrug. ā€œI named my ovaries, too, but they donā€™t get out as much.

When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.

He pointed one long finger in the general direction of her head. ā€œYouā€™d better be ready at seven on Friday night because thatā€™s when Iā€™m picking you up. And donā€™t expect to see me before then because I have business in Santa Fe. And Iā€™m not calling, either. I have more important things to do than argue with a crazy woman.ā€�

Plenty of good land in nice neighborhoods, land that is currently being wasted on a meaningless, mindless activity engaged in primarily by white, well-to-do male businessmen who use the game to get together to make deals to carve this country up a little finer among themselves.

It is an arrogant game on its very design alone. Just the design of the game speaks of arrogance. Think of how big a golf course is. The ball is that fucking big! What do these pinheaded pricks need with all that land? There are over 17,000 golf courses in America. They average over 150 acres apiece. That's 3 million plus acres, 4,820 square miles. You could build two Rhode Islands and a Delaware for the homeless, on the land currently being wasted on this meaningless, mindless, arrogant, elitist, racist - there's another thing: the only blacks you'll find in country clubs are carrying trays - and a boring game. Boring game for boring people. Have you ever watched golf on television? It's like watching flies fuck.

And a mindless game, mindless. Think of the intellect it must take to draw pleasure from this activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick, and then walking after it! And then, hitting it again! I say, "Pick it up asshole, you're lucky you found the fucking thing. Put it in your pocket and go the fuck home, you're a winner. You're a winner. You found it!"