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"I’ll do whatever you want me to / Like Armageddon is gettin�� together with me and you (Want Me to �� Dom Fera).

Yeah, well that was something alright, and it can’t be denied that reading this was certainly an experience. I’m waffling, thinking about waffles or whatever, but the truth is that I really don't have any strong opinions about this book either which way. Mostly just bemused annoyances. Don’t get me wrong, I think that this was a well-written novel, but I took issue with the vibes�� in that they were a little off. Before I get to that, it’s important to know that the zombies are called “types�� (not even capitalized?) in this universe, but for the purpose of convenience, I’m just going to call them zombies. Anyway, I think my main thing was that the story was a little too militaristic for my tastes. All the main characters are in an elite squad tasked to quell the zombie threat and they are pretty much always portrayed as a force for good. If they don’t kill the zombie threat, who will, right? Yeah, well my favorite zombie movies are Train to Busan and 28 Days Later, both of which follow “average Joe�� types that are given the opportunity to become something more. Given the circumstances, not despite them. Instead, the characters in this book aren’t all that different on the last page as they are on the first. It doesn’t help that a huge chunk of the book is an extended training montage where Zeke learns to appreciate his new friends and his military training, despite the fact that he was forcefully conscripted into fighting an unwinnable battle (also, there’s a reason why training montages last one song at most, because otherwise they get really boring). The whole thing felt backwards at points. By the time any character starts questioning the suspicious nature of their assignments, there were only a couple chapters left! At that point we’re given barely enough time to ponder what this book’s message even is! Sorry, but that hardly counts as a satisfying conclusion in my opinion.

I think I’m probably being too critical, because I didn’t even dislike this. What little action we do get is done incredibly well, and the deaths aren’t lingered on, giving the book a terrible sense of dread seeped into every page. Maybe I’m just annoyed because I thought the plot was doing one thing when actually just ended up doing another. For example, I probably would have liked this a lot better if the plot was structured similarly to 10 Cloverfield Lane, a movie where a woman wakes up in an underground bunker with a creep played by John Goodman telling her that the world ended. The tension being that both the woman and the audience don’t really know whether or not the guy is telling the truth. Because most of this book takes place inside the military compound, without a zombie in sight, there could have been an element of paranoia and mystery to a story which is otherwise played completely straight. From page one, we know that the zombies are a threat, and everybody is on board with the mission. Which leads me to my other annoyance in that�� man, for a book about zombies, there are surprisingly few actual scenes with zombies in them. Yes, zombie stories are more about the human drama and that humans are the real monsters, yada yada yada. I KNOW! I know. But if you put a couple of cool dudes on a cover, where one of the guys has a big ass crossbow, I’m going to expect a more action-oriented book, rather than something more akin to a summer camp book, where the new kid has to learn how to fit in. I mean, yeah, there are certainly monsters within men, but like, most the evil acts in this book are done by the zombies, so I think a more apt title would be, Monsters Within Men�� But Damn Those Zombies Are Pretty Evil Too. Not as catchy, unfortunately.

“Try not to worry yourself. You seem fine to me.��
“Apart from being a hopeless mess?��
“Well, yes, that.��"