"Okay, we need to talk about this. Because I am literally starting to feel like I read a completely different book from everyone else.

I quite liked (but didn't love) the first book; I had some issues but I pushed them to the back of my mind because I was so happy to have both a M/M romance in fantasy AND for it to be slow burn. But I just... can't anymore. I don't understand. It has a 4.62 average rating. All my friends seem to love it (5 stars kind of loving), even those who are the toughest romance critics. Really, did we read the same book?

Firstly, this book is erotica with some snoozeworthy politics and battles thrown in. I don't buy into the whole "it has so much more than romance! politics and royal scandals!" No, it doesn't. The plot is a thinly-veiled disguise for the sexual descriptions.

And on that matter - why is everyone so obsessed with penises? They are hanging out everywhere. Damen goes to find this guy and he’s screwing the stable boy; he goes to find yet another guy and he is described by his state of undress, with particular mention of the way he is holding his pants up. All the descriptions of everything are sexual (but not, I might add, sexy).

It felt like yet another case of fetishizing gay men.

Even when dramatic stuff is supposed to be happening, even in political meetings, there’s a constant genital awareness in every scene. Everyone is always aware of the others� penises.

Also, let's talk slow burn. Slow burn is my passion. In fact, it's pretty much the only kind of romance I like. But, wow, in this case it's as slow burn as the romance between Dumbledore and Mcgonagall.

“His gaze dropped to Laurent’s lips. When he forced it upwards, it fixed instead on the earring. The lobe of Laurent’s ear was pierced through with the ornament of his uncle’s lover. It suited him, in the mundane sense that it matched his colouring. In another sense, it looked as incongruous as it felt to tear another mouthful of bread from the flat loaf, and lift it to feed him.�

And just when you think he’s done�

“It was the earring. Laurent was always so austere. The earring reframed him. It gave the appearance of a sensual side, sophisticated and subtle.�

Oh yes, this romance is slow burn. It burns so slow I fear I might have died of boredom by the time they actually get together.

Because slow burn in this sense means that nothing actually happens. Laurent and Damen just spend a lot of time staring broodily at one another. The whole point of slow burn is TENSION. Instead, I’m rolling my eyes and wishing something would just happen.

And Laurent himself is so unappealing to me. He's broodier than Edward Cullen, with even less personality. In the first book, I thought his cold, distant character was going to develop into something more interesting, but that has yet to happen. I feel nothing for him.

Honestly, I really wanted to love this book. But I just don't feel it.
"