Greg's Updates en-US Mon, 12 May 2025 21:58:33 -0700 60 Greg's Updates 144 41 /images/layout/goodreads_logo_144.jpg Review7564946809 Mon, 12 May 2025 21:58:33 -0700 <![CDATA[Greg added 'We Tell Ourselves Stories: Joan Didion and the American Dream Machine']]> /review/show/7564946809 We Tell Ourselves Stories by Alissa Wilkinson Greg gave 4 stars to We Tell Ourselves Stories: Joan Didion and the American Dream Machine (Hardcover) by Alissa Wilkinson

Andy Warhol archly quipped, “if you want to know about Andy Warhol, just look at the surface of my paintings�. It’s droll but prophetic of our times. We skirt the surfaces of screens. Any knowledge we pull is temporal. We never arrive, but flail until we meet exhaustion.. Our physical and emotional selves are distanced from our projected social media identities. The ascent of AI might have us question the famous Didion quote - our stories are generated, and we live in the era of a distributed self. But we are different machines - biological, conscious - and meaning makers.

In the 1960s, the period where Didion was cemented as a greater writer, the American ideal of "freedom" was on trial. From Civil Rights to drafting young men into the Vietnam war, the great American myth of "self determination", freedom to be become what you want, and free to do as you choose looked empty. The freedom from war, from injustice, and maybe even consciosuness was on full display, and cameras from news stations and studios took notice. Few could see it as well as Didion. Didion always seem to stand psychologically outside of the moment - an observerer, a witness, a documentarian.

“The White Album� blew my mind. Beneath Didion’s studied coolness and self-distancing from the reader, fragments of the revolutionary 1960s were weaves and pressed together. “The Doors�, “The Black Panthers�, “Vietnam protests�, “the death of RFK�, Didion writes on all of this - and brings the reader close to the edge of the national breakdown. We feel the danger of nihilistic revolution brought on by the Manson Murders, and the weighty meaningless of the collective numbing from tragedy. It almost feels like the media of the 1960s brought an existential crisis to our nation - the wars streamed in from overseas to our bedrooms, Hendrix’s acidified star-spangled banner the clarion call of a turned-on generation, and the violence from conventions to presidential limousines. No writer could see through the dream machine phantasmagoria quite like Didion.

Reading this book gave me an appreciation for the worldview of Didion that synthesized politics and the entertainment industry. She writes on the power of myth, sometimes being taken into its sweeping visions by celluloid stars like John Wayne. She also had an ability to strip off the gauze, and be a revealer of the mass illusions. The camera-centric brinkmanship of the Republican party, with Gingrich and Buchanan’s scorched-earth screeds feels quaint compared to the nauseatingly contempt of the Trump Administration. The “pernicious nostalgia� Didion wrote about appears to be responsible for the toxic sludge of our political leadership. Like a spinning plate, Didion would write stories with characters and worldview that suggested our fragility could shatter The American myth of self-relying pioneers is a beautiful thing to pay a ticket for, but as Didion’s career reveals - there is always a distance between the reality and the fantasy.

Although Didion remains something of a mystery, Wilkinson does an excellent job of charting her ambitions. We see how the literary start from “Mademoiselle� was only the beginning of charting her career as a worldly writer. From screen writing to political journalism, there is this sense I had reading the book that Didion, like anyone else, was just trying to stay afloat, and find work where she could. There is a cross-pollination across magazines, biographies, films, politics and theater in her life, she seems to be a traveler across all the experiences of culture’s transmissions. One of the reasons “The Year of Magical Thinking� (2003) is so brilliant is that Didion adroitly navigates sharing the most personal and authentic experiences through her very controlled writing. One of trick’s Didion does better than anyone is to maintain a distance and emotional numbness, while also letting to the madness and craziness around her. "What I aim for is total control" (p.117), she famously said. In her non-fiction book, about the loss of her husband, we see cracks in the facade. Didion maintains control, and chic composure, but there is no denying mortality’s finale say. It remains a beautiful and stunning tribute to her husband.

This is a great book to read for anyone who loves Didion's writing, and wants to better understand her career and influence as a literary luminary. Few writers are able to understand and be playful in understanding the movement of culture the weay Didion did. I'd start with her work first, since it approachable, and it is beautiful, but this is a great book to build out a deeper understanding of who Joan Didion was. ]]>
Review57123013 Thu, 08 May 2025 20:04:35 -0700 <![CDATA[Greg added 'The Great Gatsby']]> /review/show/57123013 The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald Greg gave 5 stars to The Great Gatsby (Paperback) by F. Scott Fitzgerald
One hundred years have passed and the green light beckons. We are the “careless people�. In the ego-extended 21st century, hustling bond traders, carefree socialites and mysterious men of unexplained riches remain aspirational. We talk of “late stage capitalism� like some dyspeptic disease, and lick it up mightily. Every area of human endeavor has become a market. Our identity can be charted by social media presence. Influencing has moved from the personal to an avocation. Our ripple of excess is quantified - measured in attention and clicks - and we seek to make sense of ourselves through the prism of an inequality, longstanding injustice, and a confluence of market forces.

Though unrecognized in its time, or at the time of Fitzgerald’s death, “”Gatsby� rocketed into our collective consciousness as the great modern American novel. As many have pointed out, it is remarkably dense - touching on every great theme of the American experience (race, industry, aspiration, gender dynamics, education, nostalgia). The words paint a remarkable portrait - who can forget Daisy’s voice of money (p.120), the literal glow of Gatsby at first introduction (p.89), the ceaselessly watching eyes of doctor T.J. Eckleburg (p.23). It crackles, it rips; like Nabokov’s “Lolita� it roils with beautiful words in a desolate landscape.

Reading “Gatsby� this time, I felt my middle age pragmatism impose itself on the romantic lens I would have given it 15 years prior. The whole lot of them seemed less interesting and shallower than I remember. My trust in Nick as a narrator was heavily shaken on this read, I found him to be less remarkable, pulled about by richer people, and glorifying a ghost of a man that he never really knew. It is remarkable how Fitzgerald’s book never sways into believing the gilded glamor - the party never seems that great, the Buchanans always seem like awful people, and no one seems to have any kind of happiness worth having. The fatalistic ending, that many take to be a statement on the American Dream or our national character, though beautifully expressed, feels like the statement of someone who has not been released from their own callowness.

The pace is remarkable. There is so much build up to meeting Gatsby. I can only imagine my first reads I impetuously pushed through the first sections. Now when I read about Nick's early encounters with the Buchanan's, it's relevatory. There is so much here about comparative wealth, and ego insecurity, or just establishing some honest benchmark for the Daisy/Tom relationship (obviously not a great marriage). The action scenes - a party, the car accident, the pool scene with Gatsby, are almost always built like portraits. Swept up by the metaphors and elegant imagery, the substantive events can spill out. Our disillusion of the mysterious stranger Gatsby is never a sharp cut, but matches the aching pattering of a disintegrating heart.

Yes, I will ceaselessly read on, oar against the past, and continue to read this book, and find new meaning. It still feels like a book that should be so simple, and maybe it’s because it’s basic story is. But like all of us, there is a depth, color, shades, embedded meanings, and treasured to be trove. We can’t turn away, because if we did, who would we be?


---------
Review from May 13, 2013
One of our few shared literary experiences as a culture- "The Great Gatsby" is fated to be tested as the great American novel, and themes are borne against it - opulence, social mobility, the self-made man.

At it's heart it's a lovely story. The seemingly perfect and magnanimous Gatsby's created a fabricated future to win his Daisy and make right the humble and unbearable past. The characters are strong. The reader is always alert, as scenes and situations change dramatically quickly. And with every read, I am impressed by the subtle shifts of emotion, and demeanor of the characters. There is an unshakable sadness I get with every read, and the last paragraph captures the mythical American spirit like nothing else I have read.

Gatsby continues to shake, inspire, and romance, and like the most mature artistic statements augments with time.



[Read in 2000; May 23, 2009; May 16, 2013, May 8th, 2025] ]]>
Review7527563537 Thu, 08 May 2025 19:10:45 -0700 <![CDATA[Greg added 'On Democracies and Death Cults: Israel and the Future of Civilization']]> /review/show/7527563537 On Democracies and Death Cults by Douglas Murray Greg gave 5 stars to On Democracies and Death Cults: Israel and the Future of Civilization (Hardcover) by Douglas Murray
The clarifying moment came for me on 10/30/23. Ben Shapiro, at Oxford University,
about the merits of the Israeli reaction to the Hamas attack, specifically the Nova music festival massacre and murder of 1,200 civilians bordering Gaza. Despite a series of provocative interactions with students, Shapiro remained calm and reasonable, and with moral clarity explained the moral difference between the actions of the IDF and the murdering of Hamas. One of the clarifying points Shapiro stated is the reality “if Israel put down their weapons, there would be a second holocaust, if Hamas put down their weapons tomorrow, there would be a Palestinian state�. From this event, and others, it became alarmingly clear that many young people were taking the talking points of militant terrorist groups - and engaging in socially acceptable ways to be anti-semetic.

Douglas Murray’s “On Democracies and Death Cults� ties together war reporting, history and an analysis of the ongoing conflict between Israel and Hamas. It is brutally difficult book to read. Reading accounts of the survivors and the details of the people murdered by Hamas, I had to put the book down multiple times. The lack of any respect for life, for Israelis or Palestinians, is a reminder of why total war against Hamas was necessary. He explains the cause and events of October 7th. He explains the Hamas takeover of Gaza in 2005. There is the undisputed war build up - hidden in plain sight by the blind eye of the West and U.N. The war-preparations of the terror group was visible in the creating of tunnels, spreading anti-semetic literature and utilizing American funds to propagate terror. This is not an easy read, but it is a sobering look at the difficult situation Israel has. The hatred from the religious jihadists and the “progressive� left essentially justified the violence of the terror groups.

The wide spread between the realities of the war and the armchair outrage on western social media shows the power of misinformation. The realities of Israel's existence has always required a vigiliance, and awareness of terror groups bordering Israel. I think Murray has been particularly effective in explaining the necessity of societial self-defense. Whether it's Ukraine, or Israel, there is a need for global action to prevent a great evil from occuring. Our current global conflicts have their roots from World War 2; a war against Nazi oppression that was seen then and now as a necessity. One of the underlying questions of the book is why have we lost our will in the West to fight for our values. It is genuinely difficult to understand how so many young people could blame Israel as a colonel power, when forced to fight against an enemy that has no respect for human rights or values.

What I respect most is that Murray could give respect and compassion to the vicitms of terror aggression without caveat. The young people of the music festival, who were expressing their freedom and enjoying life, were murdered senselessly. It is awful, and it is evil, and it is part of this world. We have to have reporters like Murray that report on the inhumanity of the Hamas group. There is no real understanding the evil behind the atrocities; and that may be why so many young westerns have difficulty condemning it. The open question to American is if our values are worth defending across the world. The administration in power seems to value isolation, and victim blaming (at least with Ukraine). Democracy and moral pluraity are not ours alone. Still we have amassed clout and respect for our role of leading the world during the dark times. As difficult as these times are, the humble truth is that they have always been harder. And even when it feels forsaken, the possibility of bravery always exists, if we are willing to come together for it. ]]>
Review7534010624 Thu, 01 May 2025 08:28:23 -0700 <![CDATA[Greg added 'Raising Hare: A Memoir']]> /review/show/7534010624 Raising Hare by Chloe Dalton Greg gave 5 stars to Raising Hare: A Memoir (Hardcover) by Chloe Dalton
As William Blake famously penned, "to see a world in a grain of sand...And eternity in an hour", our experience of the world sharpens and expands, when we reduce it in size and finitude. Our routines, clocks, machinery and increasingly virutal world have decoupled humans and nature. The pace of life was at walking speed (p.148) as Chloe Dalton observes. It may be foolish to apply a lens of romanticism to the unbound nature, but we have lost something sacred and wonderous from moderninization. Nevertheless, fortune casts tragedy and opportunity into our world, and when the covid pandemic shuttered human contact from each other, there was a renewed awareness of nature's inexhorable spring. Green shoots, birdsong, visible critter, and in Dalton's case, the happening upon a leveret, a baby rabbit on her allotment.

There is a line that Dalton explores, is increasingly explored in some wonderful documentaries ("All that Breathes" (2022), "My Octopus Teacher (20220)", about the role of coexistence with the natural world. From the time she encounters the leveret, she is aware that any human contact risks ostracisization from the other rabbits. But she makes the choice to feed, with formula and pippette to health, with the intention for it to return. Knowing there is no habitutation of the leveret, and that "it's nature instinicts be dulled by habituation" (p.35), she plays the difficult role of caregiver and imparital observer.

Dalton's writing is really stunning - she will mix in the natural world of gulleys, gardens, and hedgerows with the poetic allusions to WIlliam Somerville and A.A. Cherkassov. She conceeds the genetic imperatives (p.262) of the leveret, but will reveal soothing passages about the beautiful of the leveret and its effect on her. With vivid detail, she describes the first touch to the leveret, fitting the palm of her hand, and notes its temperment as a sensitive house guest. There are marvelous moments of dark humor, such as her attempts to read books on the leveret, but mostly comming across recipes to eat it - as she sat with the book and the leveret she was flushed with guilt. There are beautiful passages on her observing the leverett near a plum tree, awareness of predators like the ermine and building any gate, no matter how flimsy to protect some barrier between her story and the unlikely companion. As the story goes on, Dalton allows for wider truths about the natural world that feels cosmic and mysterious. Her passage, "each disovery, like the pssage of a comet through the sky, enlarged my sense of the world and left behind excitement and warmth in my heart (p.252)" captures some of the intensity of her emotions.

I recommend this book because it is such a beautiful story. Similar to Margaret Renkl's goregeous "The Comfort of Crows: A Backyard Year". There is an invitation to the reader to observe alongside the author. To level ones eyes to the pananormic sooty dark eyes of the rabbit, and observe a sense of connection with its wildness. There are some marvelous plot turns and perspective changes, and the growing awareness that Dalton's sensitivity to this rabbitt is renewing her, in the way a baby might for a new parent. There is a spirit or attentuation to this natural world that Dalton elegantly describes as needing our preservation. The alien noises of combines and death eating flail blades of a tractor are shown to be devastating to this world she discovers. This wider sense of a sustaining natural is what she connects to -literally the lifeblood of our planet, and a benchmark from which we measure this spirited word "humanity". ]]>
Rating852831262 Wed, 30 Apr 2025 15:44:11 -0700 <![CDATA[Greg Talbot liked a review]]> /
Raising Hare by Chloe Dalton
"Over the years, there have been some classic autobiographical books that have celebrated the human connection with the natural world - in particular with different animals. Classics that spring to mind include : Ring of Bright Water by Gavin Maxwell; H for Hawk for Helen Mac Donald anreven My Family and Other Animals by Gerald Durrell.

Raising Hare deserves to join this illustrious group. Chloe Dalton has written a highly engaging and beautiful memoir/chronicle about her experiences of rescuing a baby hare /leveret and the ensuing years of their connection.

Abandoned by its mother on a footpath during Covid lockdown Chloe discovers this tiny creature - a new born hare- should she leave it or try to save it from an imminent death?

Decision made, the leveret is taken home but with constant understanding that this is a wild creature not to be domesticated; what follows is the moving story of Chloe's quest to help the hare, enable it to return to the wild and the incredible and mysterious connection that develops between the two of them. The Hare continues to live close to the house and take refuge in a most unexpected way.

Chloe Dalton shines a life on this enigmatic and rarely seen animal and uncovers through her observations the habits and wonderful qualities of Hare as it grows older and its offspring. The story also echoes the seasonal changes and its impact on wildlife as well as exploring the human impact of mass agriculture upon the natural world.

Told over three years, Raising Hare is a truly moving and wonderful read. This is a story about a unique bond -written with warmth - not sentimental- and compassion for an animal that is in decline as it has no legal protection. It also shows how the human /natural environment connection and just slowing down gives an improved quality of life and sense of being.

Maybe Chloe Dalton's book could change perception and highlight the need to save this beautiful creature.

Wildlife read of 2024... superb!"
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Review7527563537 Mon, 28 Apr 2025 20:57:44 -0700 <![CDATA[Greg added 'On Democracies and Death Cults: Israel and the Future of Civilization']]> /review/show/7527563537 On Democracies and Death Cults by Douglas Murray Greg gave 5 stars to On Democracies and Death Cults: Israel and the Future of Civilization (Hardcover) by Douglas Murray
The clarifying moment came for me on 10/30/23. Ben Shapiro, at Oxford University,
about the merits of the Israeli reaction to the Hamas attack, specifically the Nova music festival massacre and murder of 1,200 civilians bordering Gaza. Despite a series of provocative interactions with students, Shapiro remained calm and reasonable, and with moral clarity explained the moral difference between the actions of the IDF and the murdering of Hamas. One of the clarifying points Shapiro stated is the reality “if Israel put down their weapons, there would be a second holocaust, if Hamas put down their weapons tomorrow, there would be a Palestinian state�. From this event, and others, it became alarmingly clear that many young people were taking the talking points of militant terrorist groups - and engaging in socially acceptable ways to be anti-semetic.

Douglas Murray’s “On Democracies and Death Cults� ties together war reporting, history and an analysis of the ongoing conflict between Israel and Hamas. It is brutally difficult book to read. Reading accounts of the survivors and the details of the people murdered by Hamas, I had to put the book down multiple times. The lack of any respect for life, for Israelis or Palestinians, is a reminder of why total war against Hamas was necessary. He explains the cause and events of October 7th. He explains the Hamas takeover of Gaza in 2005. There is the undisputed war build up - hidden in plain sight by the blind eye of the West and U.N. The war-preparations of the terror group was visible in the creating of tunnels, spreading anti-semetic literature and utilizing American funds to propagate terror. This is not an easy read, but it is a sobering look at the difficult situation Israel has. The hatred from the religious jihadists and the “progressive� left essentially justified the violence of the terror groups.

The wide spread between the realities of the war and the armchair outrage on western social media shows the power of misinformation. The realities of Israel's existence has always required a vigiliance, and awareness of terror groups bordering Israel. I think Murray has been particularly effective in explaining the necessity of societial self-defense. Whether it's Ukraine, or Israel, there is a need for global action to prevent a great evil from occuring. Our current global conflicts have their roots from World War 2; a war against Nazi oppression that was seen then and now as a necessity. One of the underlying questions of the book is why have we lost our will in the West to fight for our values. It is genuinely difficult to understand how so many young people could blame Israel as a colonel power, when forced to fight against an enemy that has no respect for human rights or values.

What I respect most is that Murray could give respect and compassion to the vicitms of terror aggression without caveat. The young people of the music festival, who were expressing their freedom and enjoying life, were murdered senselessly. It is awful, and it is evil, and it is part of this world. We have to have reporters like Murray that report on the inhumanity of the Hamas group. There is no real understanding the evil behind the atrocities; and that may be why so many young westerns have difficulty condemning it. The open question to American is if our values are worth defending across the world. The administration in power seems to value isolation, and victim blaming (at least with Ukraine). Democracy and moral pluraity are not ours alone. Still we have amassed clout and respect for our role of leading the world during the dark times. As difficult as these times are, the humble truth is that they have always been harder. And even when it feels forsaken, the possibility of bravery always exists, if we are willing to come together for it. ]]>
Rating852217898 Mon, 28 Apr 2025 20:54:56 -0700 <![CDATA[Greg Talbot liked a review]]> /
Why We're Polarized by Ezra Klein
"Klein is right: We are polarized.

Indeed, a sustained frenzy of polarization and gross incompetence has engulfed American politics.

Actors and institutions—on both sides of the political divide, though to different degrees—are silencing disfavored speech. Prosecutors around the country are criminalizing politics; it all depends on who is in power.

The Republican party is openly sabotaging the electoral system. The mid-terms will be a huge democratic test.

And a new breed of nihilists and narcissists in Congress is failing to address numerous public-policy failures while they post on social media, from a broken immigration system, to hugely expensive and dysfunctional healthcare, to staggering economic inequality.

These problems have powerful momentum behind them—and will likely persist far into the future.

To help understand their root cause, read this book. It doesn't explain everything or get everything right, but it raises good questions and is insightful.

"
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Comment289926177 Sat, 26 Apr 2025 11:05:24 -0700 <![CDATA[Greg commented on Edward's review of On Democracies and Death Cults: Israel and the Future of Civilization]]> /review/show/7472379993 Edward's review of On Democracies and Death Cults: Israel and the Future of Civilization
by Douglas Murray

This review persuaded me to buy the book ]]>
Review7516885617 Thu, 24 Apr 2025 21:21:20 -0700 <![CDATA[Greg added 'I'll Love You Forever: Notes from a K-Pop Fan']]> /review/show/7516885617 I'll Love You Forever by Giaae Kwon Greg gave 3 stars to I'll Love You Forever: Notes from a K-Pop Fan (Hardcover) by Giaae Kwon
After my wife saw "BlackPink" at the United Center in 2022, I heard about them everywhere. They were named enterainment headliner of the year by Time. Soon they would headline Coachella. The singer Lisa acted recently on "White Lotus". Her compatriot Rosé released some fire singles in the last year. I haven't branched off into BTS, H.O.T., BA, or really dived into the whole K-pop phenomenon, but I was so excited to learn more through Giaae Kwon's book.

Kwon's strength as a writer is in her intense desire to connect with the music scene. She captures the spirit of music obession that I rememeber deep in my bones as a suburban punk rock kid. What she saw in Jaejoong, the idol she carries with her (p.88), was the obsession I felt for punk rock bands, and the allure of a rebellious authenticity. Pop music carries an additional layer of parasocial obession due to the rabid fandom. Economy movers like Beyonce, Charlix XCX and Taylor Swift aren't just performers - they are influencers of identity for a significant number of young people. Seeing all of this through the lens of a differnet culture, where I don't have a history of the scene, is just fascinating.

The insider/outsider perspective of being a Korean-American, whose first language is Korean, but she is born and bred in the Los Angeles Suburbs, and a remarkably expressive voice, makes for an electrifying read. I found myself feeling a lot of empathy for Kwon, there is a stark honesty in her own insecurities shared throughout the book. These are deeply felt and vulnerable explorations of her academic abandonments, parental shamings, body shame, experiences of sexism, and pushing against the docile Asian stereotype of the model minority. Almost as if in a full-diary mode, she explores her desires for social justice. LGBT+ rights, femninism, the end of transnational adoption, racism, and the plight of Palestinians are just some of the caues she explores. I was moved by her openness to the reader, and felt a lot of goodwill for Kwon as a person, due to her honesty and realness. In the era of social media, when the posts and tweets are out of a highlight real, I found myself connecitng to some of the middle age self doubts that surface.

At it's best moments Kwon weaves a narrative that merges social commentary, reflections on K-pop and her own life experience. There are riveting sections, particularly the chapters on BoA, which had me wondering about the life cycle of popstars, the fears of performers to stay relevant and authentic. She explores the production companies that manufacture the groups, the rigid lifestyle requirements, and the rabid obession fans . As much as I enjoyed Kwon's vibes, the central narrative of K-pop gets lost at times - her reflections on conservative chrisitan background or self-doubts when traveling in Korea lead the book astray sometimes.

Ultimately , I wasn't able to get as much trackon with the book as I would have liked. My interest and enjoyment faded the more I read. As inviting as Kwon's tone is, the writing's scaffolding is her personal life - and the story of K-pop felt secondary. Frankly I couldn't connect with these pop star's lives, because thee cast of characters were so large, and the historical detail was so limited. I don't want to be overly harsh and but it felt like this book was prevailingly niche. The backstories of K-pop stars could be paper thin. I felt Kwon's passion for this music, but felt a lack of unity between her story, and a larger K-pop narrative. I never felt like I was getting much distance betwen the writer and the material. The historical developments of K-pop and it's westward expansion felt underminded because of it. Strangely there was little attention to the sound of the music or any type of critical analysis.

Many readers will enjoy the personality-lead story - and for those who have kept up with the music, this will be a delight. For readers like myself, there was a resigned frustration. I didn't build an appreciation for the music or feel like any less of an outsider. I can tell this music is incredibly potent and rewarding to a large tent of people - I could only feel the outer edges of those canvasses. ]]>
Rating850885388 Thu, 24 Apr 2025 21:20:43 -0700 <![CDATA[Greg Talbot liked a review]]> /
I'll Love You Forever by Giaae Kwon
"So much simmering rage and bitterness in one place.  So much judgment. So much condescension.  So much repetition.  If I had to take a shot everytime I read a certain phrase or three, then I'd probably be dead from alcohol poisoning.  


I guess I could recommend it for anyone who wants an idea of what k-pop twt has been like since the pandemic began.  A lot of what I encountered in this book I first encountered over there.  Although I don't know why anyone would be interested in that.  K-pop twt is a cesspool most of the time.  This book didn't feel like an improvement in any way, and I had to pay actual, real-life money for it to boot.  I did think about asking for a refund somewhere around the halfway point, but I carried on out of sheer spite.  And now I'm free."
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