"After reading this pure classic, I slammed shut the book, picked up my iPhone (the one made by capitalist pigs) and threw it in the trash, but then, I realized, having a trash bin is far too bourgeois of me, so I picked up the trash bin, ran outside of my house and threw the trash can in a trash bin.. but suddenly, as I turned around in a rage and hate against capitalism, I realized I lived in a home.. just like capitalists do. So I, without a question, set the house on fire and walked away, feeling content and satisfied with my rather proletariat ways.. but once looking down at my feet, the unthinkable happened. I learned I was wearing $40 Nikes I got from a thrift store, Nikes made by child labor that is caused by nothing other than capitalism. Quickly, I took the shoes off, looked at them in pure disgust and threw them in a nearby river. As I walked down the street, I decided to stop by my current well paying job.. that is, realizing I am getting paid well my employer gets paid even more and is abusing my labor . I approached my employer, startled to see me come in on a day off, he chuckled a bit.
"There is nothing humorous about paid labor." I stated in pure fury and exhaust from running the last 20 minutes.
My boss looked at me, up and down. Then, with a smirk on his face, he declared;
"You're right." he stood up on a chair, cleared his throat and spoke loudly.
"From now on, all of you will be working for free - even myself. For it is the well being for us as humans to become one, in a collective fashion so that those disadvantaged financially can now afford our services, free of cost."

Most of the workers, sitting in comfy chairs, office desks with privileged AC blasting as they all wore $60-$300 outfits because of their disgusting salary that allows them to afford such clothing, all quietly looked at one another.. and within a few seconds, all at once, everyone in the office cheered.

"Great job, Comrade." my boss said to me, with a look in his eyes full of passion and excitement for the future.

I stared at him back, with a smile so genuine I didn't even notice my eyes were twinkling. I patted him and gave him a real, human hug. While hugging him, I whispered ever so delicately in his ear;

"Don't thank me. Thank The Communist Manifesto." "