"I’m on now! =)

“You're wondering what this is - but not, I think, wondering who this is. You know - just as I've known, since our eyes met during that messy matter on Abrogast-882 - that we have unfinished business."

Thus starts a conversation between two opponents on different sides of a war that spans over countless time lines and millennia. Damn. Forgive me my crude language but where do I even start? “This Is How You Lose the Time War� is such a masterfully crafted story that it’s not easy to put it into words. In fact, I’m convinced it’s one of those books you can’t describe properly because you either say too much or you don’t say enough. It’s a fine balance the book itself manages to maintain throughout the entire storyline and I can only raise my hat to the two authors who created this beautiful prose. I read that each author chose one of the characters and that they actually reacted to each other’s letters which gives the book a unique spin not even the authors were able to anticipate. Of course, there was an outline they held to, but apparently, the individual reactions in the letters were even a surprise for them. Talk about a great way to write a book, because it’s exactly that kind of push and pull that glues the reader to the pages.

”Will you respond, establishing complicity, continuing our self-destructive paper trail, just to get in the last word? Will you cut off, leaving my note to spin its fractal math inside you?
I wonder which I’d rather.�

Well, at least it glued THIS reader to the pages. I know this story isn’t going to be for everyone. It’s one of those intricate tales you have to digest slowly and steadily. It’s a book that has its own pace and for some it will be too slow and not tangible enough. So if you’re a reader who likes their suspense and a fast moving plot that is direct and without any detours I can guarantee you that you won’t enjoy “This Is How You Lose the Time War�. However, if you’re one of those readers who enjoys a slow game of chess and thrives on reading beautiful prose that’s not only elaborate but also brilliant in its execution. Well, then this story is definitely for you.

”P.S The keyboard’s coated with slow-acting contact poison. You’ll be dead in an hour.
PPS. Just kidding! Or � am I?
PPPS. I’m just screwing with you. But postscripts sure are fun!�

I loved how their letters started out being a little bit playful at the beginning, but with time turned into a serious conversation full of trust, respect and mutual affection. They learn from each other and about each other and it’s one of the many things that made this story so achingly beautiful. I mean after all we have two women from different sides of a war that start a conversation without any judgement and try to understand where the other side is coming from. Both, Red as well as Blue, are highly intelligent and serve their superiors well. While Blue is on the side of Garden who seems to be connected with its agents and is more subtle in its war efforts using nature and the natural course of things, Red finds herself on the side of Commandant who comes from a background that prefers high-technology and machines. They couldn’t be any more different even if they tried, but they share a hunger for knowledge, an ache to outwit each other, to be respected and to be seen.

"And then we'd be at each other's throats even more." Oh, petal. You say that like it's a bad thing. It occurs to me to dwell on what a microcosm we are of the war as a whole, you and I. The physics of us. An action and an equal and opposite reaction.

And as unlikely as it seems to be, they actually find this in each other’s letters. As soon as one of them does something and tampers with a timeline, the other one is sent to undo it. It’s reaction and counter reaction, move and countermove and each and every single time they leave each other a message in the most creative way possible! No, seriously! I was impressed by the way they communicated and how they came up with so many sophisticated and intricate ideas. They were each other’s equal and they madly fell in love because of it. The trust that formed between those two was a force to be reckoned with and I loved how they had each other’s back. But their urgency, their desire to write each other, to quite literally “eat� the others words! It was an exquisite ache, a mind-bending yearning that needed to be sated no matter the cost.

”I want to be a body for you.
I want to chase you, find you, I want to be eluded and teased and adored; I want to be defeated and victorious � I want you to cut me, sharpen me. I want to drink tea beside you in ten years or a thousand.�

”I want to say, now, before you can beat me to it � Red, when I think of this seed in your mouth I imagine having placed it there myself, my fingers on your lips.�

Their letters started with an appreciation for each other’s talent and work, and then turned into so much more. They love each other, they throw everything they have at each other, knowing full well the other side will be able to take it. There’s a fragile beauty to their unwavering trust and strength as they wander through the centuries thwarting the other side’s efforts to win the war. No one knows when the war started and why it’s been raging for millennia but neither side wants to give up their advantage and even though Red and Blue are working against each other, they are somewhat connected through their letters and affection. Some might say they flourish in each other’s shadow and seek solace in their words.

"You will be free - from your recovery and from your task. I'll be sent, no doubt, to undo the damage you've caused. And we'll run again, the two of us, upthread and down, firefighter and fire starter, two predators only sated by each other's words."

”Red, I love you. Red, I will send you letters from everywhen telling you so, letters of only one word, letters that will brush your cheek and grip your hair, letters that will bite you, letters that will mark you.�

But then the inevitable happens and their longing for each other’s words turns into danger. I honestly didn’t expect the book to take that route and to end the way it did and all I can say is that it was quite mind-blowing to make my way through those last couple of pages. Then again, I probably should have expected such an ending because Red and Blue are anything but ordinary and of course, there’d be a unique touch to how their story ends. Or should I rather say to how they end their own story because despite being agents on different sides of a time war, they always worked around each other and remained in control. I won’t say more because I don’t want to spoil the ending for you and I suppose you’re none the wiser after reading what I wrote. ;-P

”Listen to me � I am your echo.
I would rather break the world than lose you.�

Conclusion:

Beautiful, stunning, mind-bending and painfully exquisite! “This Is How You Lose the Time War� is all of those words and even more. El-Mohtar’s and Gladstone’s prose is one of a kind and the world building and time threads Red and Blue move on continue to be mysterious until the very end. They are composers, musicians and conductors all at once, incessantly working their way through all the time lines and possibilities, strumming each other’s chords in the most glorious and tender ways. As a musician, I can’t praise this story any higher than this so I’ll just leave it at that. Brilliant, mind-blowing and perfect! 5 stars, a million stars, all the stars and then some.

Spoilery Quotes:(view spoiler)[I didn’t want to spoil the ending with those two quotes but they were too beautiful not to mention them so here they are in the spoiler section:

”It is always too late to say what must be said. I cannot stop you now. I cannot save you. Love is what we have, against time and death, against all the powers ranged to crush us down. You gave me so much � a history, a future, a calm that lets me write these words though I’m breaking. I hope I’ve given you something in return � I think you would want me to know I have. And what we’ve done will stand, no matter how they weave the world against us. It’s done now, and forever.�

”I loved you. That was true. With what’s left of me I can’t help but love you still. This is how you win, Red: a long game, a subtle hand played well. You played me like a symphony, and I hope you won’t mind my feeling a little proud of you for such a magnificent betrayal.� (hide spoiler)]

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This was brilliant, mind-blowing and just perfect?!
The way Red and Blue interacted, their strong feelings, the prose!
Beautiful, stunning, mind-bending and exquisite!

I’ll try to write a proper review for this soon, but for now that’s what you get!
RTC soon!
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It’s time to start my first #MinisculeMarch book!
And I heard so many good things about this one, too!
I swear “This Is How You Lose the Time War� is one of those books that’s been all over my feed for months and since people are still reading and raving about it, I figured it was about time to go for it.
Moreover, with a total of 201 pages it fits perfectly for my !

This is going to be an interesting read and I’m so here for it. =)

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