Rojin wants to read ظلمت آشکار: خاطرات افسردگی

"welcome to...sigh...LES MAYSERABLES.

i'm going to read a chapter (or whatever the this-book equivalent of a chapter is �� 100 pages? a normal size book? undue suffering?) of this a day until i'm done, a process which will begin in may but end way after that.

i've been thinking about reading this book as a way to get into weightlifting, so. it's beach body season or whatever.

let's do this. i'm so scared right now.


BOOK ONE: A GOOD MAN
oh, great. this is divided into 48 books. that's awesome. a book a day of this book alone. no worries, no problem. i'm not troubled. i have no regrets. it's fine that this bit is a million pages long and all of my above jokes are thus true.

sometimes i think i would never join a cult, but i feel like i just got radicalized by the hermit weirdo living in a hut 45 minutes away from society in this book, so. too close to call.


BOOK TWO: THE FALL
yesterday i read an ebook of this because i couldn't run out to buy a copy, and today i am reading it physically. it is so goddamn heavy it's insane.

this jean valjean guy is kind of a bad vibe thus far. #blessed that the bishop was successfully able to be like..."get your act together my guy."


BOOK THREE: IN THE YEAR 1817
this one has a huge time jump, is half the length of the first two, and begins with a 6 page "here's what you missed on glee" style recap of pop culture since we last saw jean valjean. in other words it rocks.

only truer because it follows 8 really fun characters.


BOOK FOUR: ENTRUSTING SOMETIMES MEANS GIVING AWAY
this book was as short as it was depressing. for being little more than the first part of cinderella it sure feels novel in how upsetting it is.


BOOK FIVE: THE DESCENT
well, that doesn't sound good. i thought the place we were in was pretty low already.

so things did get much worse, and now they appear to be getting better, but this book has given me trust issues and i don't believe it's going anywhere good from here.


BOOK SIX: JAVERT
get a load of this guy (derogatory). i don't know much of the story of les mis, in spite of its cultural prowess and the fact that i technically attended my sister's high school production of the musical (physically if not in spirit), but even i know this loser.


BOOK SEVEN: THE CHAMPMATHIEU AFFAIR
i mean. i don't even know what to say about this chapter. the emotional range here...i have no choice but to stan.

i'm using humor as a crutch because this made me really sad lol.


BOOK EIGHT: AFTER-EFFECT
this is the nicest possible way of saying "in which sh*t hits the fan."

ok. even with that expectation i was not prepared for the extent to which sh*t would hit the fan.


BOOK ONE: WATERLOO
we have completed part one: fantine, and we move on to part two: cosette. i don't know why i feel like i have to avoid spoilers for this million year old classic but here we are.

okay so this was literally a 50 page recounting of the battle of waterloo. i guess in hindsight i don't know what i expected.


BOOK TWO: THE SHIP ORION
it's kind of reassuring that even in the 19th century they were dealing with tabloids and fake news. but leave my boy valjean out of it...

is there anything more jean valjean than risking his own life to save a stranger's, and then also using that peril as a means of escaping prison? one thing about jean is my guy is going to escape.


BOOK THREE: A DEATHBED PROMISE IS HONORED
okay, fine. i took multiple days off this project. in my defense reading this book is not conducive to busy days. i can't exactly haul a 1400-page tome around with me just in case i have a minute between social obligations.

hard to convey the extent to which i root for things to go well in this book, even though i know they're building me up just to break me back down again.


BOOK FOUR: THE GORBEAU TENEMENT
i can't stress enough how much i live in fear at every moment. oh, the beggar that valjean has been generously giving money might be javert? can't surprise me. i was prepared for the worst from minute one.


BOOK FIVE: SILENT STALKERS IN THE DARK
well, that doesn't sound good.

javert is operating on kendrick lamar levels of hatred...just picking up newspapers on a daily basis hunting for clues about a guy he straight up thinks is dead. another level of living in his mind rent-free.


BOOK SIX: PETIT-PICPUS
you know things are getting crazy when even victor hugo is like "what i'm about to say has nothing to do with this actual story." this from the guy who spent the whole first 100 pages of the book on somebody who once had a sleepover with our protagonist.


BOOK SEVEN: PARENTHESIS
oh my gosh. now this part is like "well, since i just spent 40 pages on one specific nunnery that isn't at all relevant, surely y'all won't mind if i write a quick 12 page essay about monasticism."

to be honest, my sir...i mind. get back to the good stuff.


BOOK EIGHT: CEMETERIES TAKE WHAT THEY ARE GIVEN
[record scratch] [freeze frame on jean valjean inside of a coffin] you're probably wondering how i ended up in this situation


BOOK ONE: PARIS THROUGH THE STUDY OF ONE OF ITS ATOMS
we have concluded part two: cosette, and begin part three: marius. and i have to say, this chapter is looking like a classic case of one of hugo's lengthy sociopolitical asides.


BOOK TWO: THE CONSUMMATE BOURGEOIS
marked safe from back to back lengthy sociopolitical asides.

instead, this was another classic: a character study of a guy whose role we do not know yet and may never know.


BOOK THREE: GRANDFATHER AND GRANDSON
today i am feeling: can you believe i'm not even halfway done this book. i know the goodreads review character limit can't.

kind of funny to be radicalized because you've become just completely obsessed with your dad.


BOOK FOUR: FRIENDS OF THE ABC
throughout time, college students have always thought they are funnier and smarter and more revolutionary than they are.

but i still love them anyway.


BOOK FIVE: VIRTUE IN ADVERSITY
all this talk of parisian revolutionary teens hanging around in cafes talking about politics was sounding familiar, and i was so proud of myself for actually paying attention during my sister's play, but then i realized i was thinking of that wes anderson movie the french dispatch.


BOOK SIX: THE CONJUNCTION OF TWO STARS
in my mind this is going to be the marius x valjean meetup: two stars to me. let's see.

i didn't even consider this would be a meet cute between marius and cosette. i might be too much of a jean stan. if that's even possible.


BOOK SEVEN: PATRON-MINETTE
quick sidenote for some inferno fanfiction and an intro to a crew of villains. i'd say "our villains," but that would be a crazy assumption for an author who just loves to introduce us to guys.


BOOK EIGHT: THE VILLAINOUS PAUPER
to be totally honest with you, this 80 page section of a book written 150 years ago is one of the most exciting and unpredictable and satisfying scenes i've ever read.

jean valjean fan till i die.


BOOK ONE: A FEW PAGES OF HISTORY
we have concluded part three: marius, and have broken out of our character titles and entered a little something called "part four: the rue plumet idyll and the rue st-denis epic." this part title and book title are not pairing up for what sound like an adventurous romp.

interesting to find out that victor hugo defines "a few pages" as 34.


BOOK TWO: EPONINE
praying for the streets since this girl appears to be in them.

marius is giving me the same secondhand stress i got when harry potter wouldn't do his homework. please get a job and do it.


BOOK THREE: THE HOUSE IN RUE PLUMET
you guys all know how i feel about jean valjean but even i can admit the man has to take a chill pill. descending into a deep depression because your adopted daughter has an un-acted-upon crush is crazy.


BOOK FOUR: HELP FROM BELOW MAY BE FROM ON HIGH
if i saw an old man get attacked at night and then beat the hell out of his attacker, i'd clap too. i can't say that i would then steal the attacker's purse and give it robin hood-style to another conveniently located old man, but that's more for lack of skill than desire.


BOOK FIVE: WHICH DOES NOT END THE WAY IT BEGAN
you know that thing of how if someone writes you a love letter, they love you, but if they write you a hundred love letters, they love writing love letters?

i feel like that automatically applies if the love letter in question is 15 pages long.


BOOK SIX: YOUNG GAVROCHE
well, everyone...welcome to june. i've spent a full month with this book, and i've gotten just over halfway into it for my efforts.

if i were a little child criminal who was known for climbing anything, and i'd been asked to rescue my deadbeat dad at my own peril for no reward, i don't know if i'd be interested. but i guess that's why i'm me and not little gavroche.


BOOK SEVEN: SLANG
something tells me we're in for another one of hugo's tangentially related 40 page essays.


BOOK EIGHT: ENCHANTMENT AND DESPAIR
love that marius flirts by being like "i almost killed a veteran for you" and then refusing to elaborate when cosette asks him what the hell that means.

ok. i didn't feel enchanted but of course the despair hits.


BOOK NINE: WHERE ARE THEY GOING?
victor, where are WE going. people are moving, riots are occurring, new characters are being introduced, and we have 500 pages left to go. which is of course 2 normal books worth, and about a third of this. we should be WINDING DOWN by now.


BOOK TEN: THE FIFTH OF JUNE 1832
at one point in this victor says "one last word before we rejoin the story," and then what follows is—and i'm not joking��11 more pages without rejoining the story.


BOOK ELEVEN: THE ATOM EMBRACES THE STORM
"come along with me to take down the parisian government at the barricades" -courfeyrac if he was a vlogger


BOOK TWELVE: CORINTHE
i did not expect to see the word "nark" in this book. but i am loving seeing it applied to javert as he is tied to a pole.


BOOK THIRTEEN: MARIUS ENTERS INTO DARKNESS
we've crossed the thousand page mark. marius better not enter into anything he's not planning on leaving soon.

well. i fear he's on his romeo and juliet sh*t, and therefore may actually be leaving sans his mortal coil.


BOOK FOURTEEN: THE GRANDEURS OF DESPAIR
the chapters with titles like this one are always pretty okay. it's the ones with titles like "let me tell you about 1842 paris" that casually include the most devastating sentence you've ever read.

not marius' sentimental ass entering the barricade like an action hero...


BOOK FIFTEEN: RUE DE L'HOMME ARME
it's been roughly 200 pages since the last time we encountered jean valjean. what a sight for sore eyes (literally) (my eyes are sore from having read 1,031 pages of 19th century french tragedy with 400+ to go).

even if this is my least favorite version of jean: Weird Dad.


BOOK ONE: THE WAR WITHIN FOUR WALLS
we are beginning part five: jean valjean. now i understand the title: the fact that i would have been thrilled to spend our remaining hundreds of pages with jean at any other time except this creepy overprotective obsessed father one is making me miserable.

jean and javert are truly having a serendipity-style series of rom-com coincidences and meet-cutes. how do these two keep finding each other.


BOOK TWO: THE BOWELS OF LEVIATHAN
i think i've developed a pretty healthy sense of victor's priorities, but even i could not have expected that this chapter, which follows a climactic scene that killed off a dozen named characters, would be a lengthy diatribe about poop.


BOOK THREE: THE MIRE, YET THE SOUL
possibly the most well-constructed joke of all time: 16 pages about parisian waste management followed by "Jean Valjean, it turned out, was in the sewers of Paris."


BOOK FOUR: JAVERT DERAILED
oh my god. what the hell.

i should have expected that this evil goddamn book would make me feel sadness over even JAVERT!!!


BOOK FIVE: GRANDFATHER AND GRANDSON
we've got a couple hundred pages to go and it seems like marius has his happily ever after. this isn't my first rodeo. 4 more chapters is plenty of time for victor to f*ck his sh*t up.

if you'll pardon the french.


BOOK SIX: THE SLEEPLESS NIGHT
i did not expect this book to contain a closed-door sex scene.

then again 1400 pages is a lot to fill up.


BOOK SEVEN: THE LAST DROP IN THE CHALICE
remember how jean valjean was originally stealing for a brood of interchangeable nieces and nephews we never saw again? this guy is just obsessed with forming familial bonds.

this one is pissing me off for so many reasons...how is it saintly for jean valjean to tell marius the truth but force marius to lie? how is marius' reaction of disgust and rejection supposed to be all good with me? why doesn't cosette get to know or be involved with anything besides repeatedly being described as a beautiful angel??? this is the first time where i'm like damn. this is old timey as hell.


BOOK EIGHT: THE WANING TWILIGHT
if marius has a hundred haters i'm one of them. if marius has one hater it's me. if marius has no haters i'm dead.


BOOK NINE: ULTIMATE DARKNESS, ULTIMATE DAWN
hi mtv and welcome to the final chapter of les mis.

i can't believe we made it. it's been 51 days, 1,275 pages, and 3-7 mental breakdowns, but we're here. and i have to say i couldn't have done it without you all, because quite literally if i didn't have your nice compliments and jokes in the comments i would have given up on this 41 days ago. anyway. enough kindness, it's off-brand for me. let's finish this.


OVERALL
this book is: long. ridiculous. full of lengthy asides about sewage and waterloo and parisian geography, it is also full of unforgettable characters. it's almost unrelentingly sad, and yet the emotional impact of it is so heavy and real. it's beautifully written. it's one of a kind.

this is crazy to say about a book that will take nearly two months to read even if you're dedicating a significant amount of time to it every single day, but. i recommend it.
rating: 4"

Maziyar Yf is on page 210 of 456 of دوازده روز