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Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
All parents fall short from time to time. But Susan Forward pulls no punches when it comes to those whose deficiencies cripple their children emotionally. Her brisk, unreserved guide to overcoming the stultifying agony of parental manipulation鈥攆rom power trips to guilt trips and all other killers of self worth鈥攚ill help deal with the pain of childhood and move beyond the frustrating relationship patterns learned at home.
Source: Amazon.com
Source: Amazon.com
308 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1990
2,189 people are currently reading
27k people want to read
About the author
Susan Forward
27听books575听followersOne of the nation鈥檚 leading therapists, as well as a best selling author, dynamic lecturer and frequent talk-show guest. In addition to her private practice, she has served as a therapist, instructor and consultant for many Southern California psychiatric and medical facilities. She is the author of the #1 New York Times best sellers Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them and Toxic Parents. She also hosted her own nationally syndicated program on ABC Talk Radio for six years.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,058 reviews
January 12, 2018
Our parents plant mental and emotional seeds in us鈥攕eeds that grow as we do. In some families, these are seeds of love, respect, and independence. But in many others, they are seeds of fear, obligation, or guilt.
As you grew into adulthood, these seeds grew into invisible weeds that invaded your life in ways you never dreamed of. Their tendrils may have harmed your relationships, your career, or your family; they have certainly undermined your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Few people make a connection between their parents and their problems. This is a common emotional blind spot. People simply have trouble seeing that their relationship with their parents has a major impact on their lives. It鈥檚 not always easy to figure out whether your parents are, or were, toxic. A lot of people have difficult relationships with their parents. That alone doesn鈥檛 mean your parents are emotionally destructive. There are many parents whose negative patterns of behavior are consistent and dominant in a child鈥檚 life. These are the parents who do the harm.
What better word than toxic to describe parents who inflict ongoing trauma, abuse, and denigration on their children, and in most cases continue to do so even after their children are grown?
The child is at the mercy of his godlike parents and, like the ancient Greeks, never knows when the next lightning bolt will strike. But the child of toxic parents knows that the lightning is coming sooner or later. This fear becomes deeply ingrained and grows with the child. At the core of every formerly mistreated adult鈥攅ven high achievers鈥攊s a little child who feels powerless and afraid.
Whether adult children of toxic parents were beaten when little or left alone too much, sexually abused or treated like fools, overprotected or overburdened by guilt, they almost all suffer surprisingly similar symptoms: damaged self-esteem, leading to self-destructive behavior. In one way or another, they almost all feel worthless, unlovable, and inadequate.
Godlike parents make rules, make judgments, and make pain. When you deify your parents, living or dead, you are agreeing to live by their version of reality. You are accepting painful feelings as a part of your life, perhaps even rationalizing them as being good for you. It鈥檚 time to stop. When you bring your toxic parents down to earth, when you find the courage to look at them realistically, you can begin to equalize the power in your relationship with them.
Susan Forward has seen thousands of patients as a therapist, both in private practice and in hospital groups, and a solid majority have suffered a damaged sense of self-worth because a parent had regularly hit them, or criticized them, or 鈥渏oked鈥� about how stupid or ugly or unwanted they were, or overwhelmed them with guilt, or sexually abused them, or forced too much responsibility on them, or desperately overprotected them.
To illustrate the concepts in this book, she has drawn heavily on case histories from her practice.
Regardless of what kind of relationship you have with your parents, I highly recommend this book to everyone. It's well-written, eye-opening and compassionate. And although it's primarily a self-help book, there's so much relevant information on family relationships and behavior we can all benefit from if we want to be understanding persons.
As you grew into adulthood, these seeds grew into invisible weeds that invaded your life in ways you never dreamed of. Their tendrils may have harmed your relationships, your career, or your family; they have certainly undermined your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Few people make a connection between their parents and their problems. This is a common emotional blind spot. People simply have trouble seeing that their relationship with their parents has a major impact on their lives. It鈥檚 not always easy to figure out whether your parents are, or were, toxic. A lot of people have difficult relationships with their parents. That alone doesn鈥檛 mean your parents are emotionally destructive. There are many parents whose negative patterns of behavior are consistent and dominant in a child鈥檚 life. These are the parents who do the harm.
What better word than toxic to describe parents who inflict ongoing trauma, abuse, and denigration on their children, and in most cases continue to do so even after their children are grown?
The child is at the mercy of his godlike parents and, like the ancient Greeks, never knows when the next lightning bolt will strike. But the child of toxic parents knows that the lightning is coming sooner or later. This fear becomes deeply ingrained and grows with the child. At the core of every formerly mistreated adult鈥攅ven high achievers鈥攊s a little child who feels powerless and afraid.
Whether adult children of toxic parents were beaten when little or left alone too much, sexually abused or treated like fools, overprotected or overburdened by guilt, they almost all suffer surprisingly similar symptoms: damaged self-esteem, leading to self-destructive behavior. In one way or another, they almost all feel worthless, unlovable, and inadequate.
Godlike parents make rules, make judgments, and make pain. When you deify your parents, living or dead, you are agreeing to live by their version of reality. You are accepting painful feelings as a part of your life, perhaps even rationalizing them as being good for you. It鈥檚 time to stop. When you bring your toxic parents down to earth, when you find the courage to look at them realistically, you can begin to equalize the power in your relationship with them.
Susan Forward has seen thousands of patients as a therapist, both in private practice and in hospital groups, and a solid majority have suffered a damaged sense of self-worth because a parent had regularly hit them, or criticized them, or 鈥渏oked鈥� about how stupid or ugly or unwanted they were, or overwhelmed them with guilt, or sexually abused them, or forced too much responsibility on them, or desperately overprotected them.
To illustrate the concepts in this book, she has drawn heavily on case histories from her practice.
Regardless of what kind of relationship you have with your parents, I highly recommend this book to everyone. It's well-written, eye-opening and compassionate. And although it's primarily a self-help book, there's so much relevant information on family relationships and behavior we can all benefit from if we want to be understanding persons.
September 6, 2010
Honestly, someone bought this for me because they thought I 'needed' to read it. I was so ticked off - the nerve of that person! that I filed it away for about a year. Actually, until I recently unpacked from a move, I thought I'd pitched it while packing, out of sheer anger and disgust.
But I didn't throw it out and it is actually full of helpful insight and suggestions. There's chapter called, "No one in this family is an alcoholic" (or close to that) and it caught my eye while thumbing through wondering why I kept this stupid book. I read the chapter and got it; that was why: to help me understand some BS what was never my fault to begin with.
It is helpful - to be sure. And so are the chapters on critical and controlling/domineering parents. VERY helpful.
Sheepishly, I say to you, I am glad it wasn't tossed in the trash - especially out of spite!
I will probably refer to this book a few more times until what I want to learn is fully absorbed.
But I didn't throw it out and it is actually full of helpful insight and suggestions. There's chapter called, "No one in this family is an alcoholic" (or close to that) and it caught my eye while thumbing through wondering why I kept this stupid book. I read the chapter and got it; that was why: to help me understand some BS what was never my fault to begin with.
It is helpful - to be sure. And so are the chapters on critical and controlling/domineering parents. VERY helpful.
Sheepishly, I say to you, I am glad it wasn't tossed in the trash - especially out of spite!
I will probably refer to this book a few more times until what I want to learn is fully absorbed.
March 8, 2016
Society responds to those suffering from physical illnesses, like cancer; we have become more receptive to those fighting certain mental illnesses as well, like depression. But we often turn a blind eye to the scars created by child abuse - we want to believe in the sanctity of family, even when millions of children grow up battered both inside and out. Susan Forward's Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life provides a much-needed guide on how victims of abuse can break free from their pasts and move toward healthful, happy lives.
Forward provides a through breakdown of different types of abuse: verbal, physical, and sexual, and the multifaceted behaviors that comprise them. She offers several examples of abuse victims from her own clinical practice and how they progressed in therapy and recovered. Her voice comes across as nurturing and validating, and she also encourages victims to take the necessary steps to release themselves from the pain their parents created. She touches on several tricky topics with wisdom, such as how to regulate anger, the harmful myth of forgiveness, and how to handle loaded subjects like alcohol and incest.
My main takeaway from reading this book: it is never too late to change. No matter how awful you have felt in the past or how you may have coped in unhealthful ways, you can recover from your parents' abuse and lead a fulfilling, meaningful life. This book serves two, if not more, important functions: it gives voice to those mistreated and then shamed by their parents, and it provides victims with ways to regain trust and autonomy. As someone who has fought with his own family demons, I would recommend this book to anyone with an abusive history or anyone who wants to learn more. I encourage therapy and tons of self-compassion, too.
Forward provides a through breakdown of different types of abuse: verbal, physical, and sexual, and the multifaceted behaviors that comprise them. She offers several examples of abuse victims from her own clinical practice and how they progressed in therapy and recovered. Her voice comes across as nurturing and validating, and she also encourages victims to take the necessary steps to release themselves from the pain their parents created. She touches on several tricky topics with wisdom, such as how to regulate anger, the harmful myth of forgiveness, and how to handle loaded subjects like alcohol and incest.
My main takeaway from reading this book: it is never too late to change. No matter how awful you have felt in the past or how you may have coped in unhealthful ways, you can recover from your parents' abuse and lead a fulfilling, meaningful life. This book serves two, if not more, important functions: it gives voice to those mistreated and then shamed by their parents, and it provides victims with ways to regain trust and autonomy. As someone who has fought with his own family demons, I would recommend this book to anyone with an abusive history or anyone who wants to learn more. I encourage therapy and tons of self-compassion, too.
March 6, 2012
This is a great book about how parents can really screw up their children.
The author breaks up abusive parents into 6 categories: inadequate, controlling, alcoholics (or addicts), verbal abusers, physical abusers, and sexual abusers. Between my parents, step-parents, and an adult relative I was often left with, I had the fun of experiencing five of the six types. Fortunately, none of them wanted to poke around in my swimsuit area.
The first chapter brings up a point that really explained a lot for me. It points out that children tend to view their parents as godlike and flawless. But when a child realizes that their parent is doing wrong, they are left with a tough decision. They can either hold on to their worldview that their parents are perfect and accept guilt for their own abuse, or they can accept that their parents are wrong then face the terrifying reality that their protectors are untrustworthy.
I chose the second route, but I also have a step-brother who chose the first. My childhood was indeed scarier, and I would often find items In the alley I could hide under my mattress in case I was in need of a weapon. It didn't even dawn on me until a few years ago that this is how an inmate's supposed to act, not an 8 year old.
However, things got easier as I got older and more self reliant. By the time I was 19, I had either developed an immunity to their various brands of abuse, or I found a way to turn it back on them. But while my life has gotten easier with age, I noticed that my step-brother's has gotten equally harder. He's a high school dropout, frequent drunk driver, and occasional jailbird.
This should be a helpful book for someone who is really screwed up by their parents. I approached it as a relatively well-adjusted adult that just wanted to get the number of the Mack truck that plowed through his youthful innocence. I found it exceedingly useful for that purpose. 5 stars.
The author breaks up abusive parents into 6 categories: inadequate, controlling, alcoholics (or addicts), verbal abusers, physical abusers, and sexual abusers. Between my parents, step-parents, and an adult relative I was often left with, I had the fun of experiencing five of the six types. Fortunately, none of them wanted to poke around in my swimsuit area.
The first chapter brings up a point that really explained a lot for me. It points out that children tend to view their parents as godlike and flawless. But when a child realizes that their parent is doing wrong, they are left with a tough decision. They can either hold on to their worldview that their parents are perfect and accept guilt for their own abuse, or they can accept that their parents are wrong then face the terrifying reality that their protectors are untrustworthy.
I chose the second route, but I also have a step-brother who chose the first. My childhood was indeed scarier, and I would often find items In the alley I could hide under my mattress in case I was in need of a weapon. It didn't even dawn on me until a few years ago that this is how an inmate's supposed to act, not an 8 year old.
However, things got easier as I got older and more self reliant. By the time I was 19, I had either developed an immunity to their various brands of abuse, or I found a way to turn it back on them. But while my life has gotten easier with age, I noticed that my step-brother's has gotten equally harder. He's a high school dropout, frequent drunk driver, and occasional jailbird.
This should be a helpful book for someone who is really screwed up by their parents. I approached it as a relatively well-adjusted adult that just wanted to get the number of the Mack truck that plowed through his youthful innocence. I found it exceedingly useful for that purpose. 5 stars.
May 12, 2014
I wasn't going to make my completion of this book public. I thought it would be an insult to my parents if I did. Then I realized that it would be an injustice to others who may need to read this book, but dont know it exists, if I didn't. Not to mention doing things to please or placate my parents is one of the many reasons why I needed to read it in the first place soooo....fuck it! lol
The book is exactly what the title implies. A book to help those end the vicious cycle of self-loathing, low self esteem, and poor self image through facing the most intense, emotional, and largest demon in their lives....their inadequate parents. Some people will reply by saying oh my parents weren't THAT bad, or mine did the best they could with what they had, and disregard even thinking they may need to read this literature. I'm here to tell you that you are the #1 person who needs to read this book. One example of why I needed to read it, an inability to care enough about myself and my self worth; putting everyone and everything before me to the point of self distruction. Not being able to solve my own issues because I thought they were insignificant compared to everyone elses. That is a result of not being told my feelings were important as a child. Who would have put that result with that cause?
While my case was not the most extreme, there are subtle things that were done that made reading this necessary. I have the sincerest and most abundant gratitude for the person who brought this book to my attention. I was in denial at first, and extremely terrified of the truth, but I realize it was 100% necessary. I already feel better, having read it, and knowning that I can correct the damage done.
Here's a quote of hope from the end of the book:
....You will never be totally free of anxiety, fear, guilt, and confusion. No one is. But these demons will no longer control you. that is the key.
As you gain more control over your past and present relationship with your parents, you will discover that your other relationships, especially your relationship with yourself, will improve dramatically. You will have the freedom, perhaps for the first time, to enjoy your own life.
The book is exactly what the title implies. A book to help those end the vicious cycle of self-loathing, low self esteem, and poor self image through facing the most intense, emotional, and largest demon in their lives....their inadequate parents. Some people will reply by saying oh my parents weren't THAT bad, or mine did the best they could with what they had, and disregard even thinking they may need to read this literature. I'm here to tell you that you are the #1 person who needs to read this book. One example of why I needed to read it, an inability to care enough about myself and my self worth; putting everyone and everything before me to the point of self distruction. Not being able to solve my own issues because I thought they were insignificant compared to everyone elses. That is a result of not being told my feelings were important as a child. Who would have put that result with that cause?
While my case was not the most extreme, there are subtle things that were done that made reading this necessary. I have the sincerest and most abundant gratitude for the person who brought this book to my attention. I was in denial at first, and extremely terrified of the truth, but I realize it was 100% necessary. I already feel better, having read it, and knowning that I can correct the damage done.
Here's a quote of hope from the end of the book:
....You will never be totally free of anxiety, fear, guilt, and confusion. No one is. But these demons will no longer control you. that is the key.
As you gain more control over your past and present relationship with your parents, you will discover that your other relationships, especially your relationship with yourself, will improve dramatically. You will have the freedom, perhaps for the first time, to enjoy your own life.
Want to read
October 17, 2021look the other way guys 馃ぁ
January 8, 2016
Edit:
I forgot to mention one thing. This book is of course aimed at children of toxic parents, showing the different forms of abuse and manipulation, teaching how to handle the horribleness and find somewhat closure or rather start a healing process.
Even though it's meant for victims, I HIGHLY recommend this book to everybody!
Someone who has not experienced toxic parents first hand might not really understand the severity of mental and physical destruction. By dismantling and analyzing every form of toxicity and abuse even those you never suffered from it can perfectly well understand the scope.
This book is overwhelming.
I don't remember exactly why I searched for 'toxic parents' on Google last year, but I found this book and I downloaded it and I started reading immediately. It was a revelation. Not because I didn't know that the beatings and the verbal abuse had been wrong and not my fault - that was what drove me crazy because I always felt and knew how unfair they were to me - but knowing that "Yes, I am NOT crazy for being angry! I'm not bad or evil for acknowleding the abuse! I have the RIGHT to be angry at, hate, and exlude these people from my life!"
Forward explains the different ways of toxic behaviour, from controlling parents and negligence, to sexual abuse. The examples are not only great guides, they also are a pool of comfort, a sign that the victim reading the book is not alone. And that is very important! You understand the pain of the victims in the book, you feel their pain and you feel your own pain and in the sadness and anger and grief you experience, you are also freed and protected.
What I also loved about this book is the analysis of the different types of abuse, how Forward explains the danger of Freudian beliefs, and the end goal: to find your own piece no matter what. It's not about reconciliation but about you overcoming the pain and becoming a better version of yourself, a happier and more indipentend one.
Indipendence is what victims have to regain and it's incredibly beautiful to not give a damn anymore if your abusive parents agree with your and your life or not. It's not about them accepting you, it's about you accepting yourself and doing what ever makes you happy.
This book gave me what I needed and one freeing thought was to be able to get another person tell me "Yes, you absolutely can cut people out of your lives when they hurt you so badly". I absolutely hate the idea of just accepting abuse and shrug it off, forgiving it and "be the bigger person". To this I say: No, I will not tolerate abuse and I don't have to just accept it to keep a fake peace up.
The only thing I wished is that more people found the courage to go the necessary steps to free themselves. This book is only one step of many and I hope people find strength in therapy.
So my last words go to all the people who suffered/are suffering: Get the help you need. You are not alone. You matter and you are worth it.
I forgot to mention one thing. This book is of course aimed at children of toxic parents, showing the different forms of abuse and manipulation, teaching how to handle the horribleness and find somewhat closure or rather start a healing process.
Even though it's meant for victims, I HIGHLY recommend this book to everybody!
Someone who has not experienced toxic parents first hand might not really understand the severity of mental and physical destruction. By dismantling and analyzing every form of toxicity and abuse even those you never suffered from it can perfectly well understand the scope.
This book is overwhelming.
I don't remember exactly why I searched for 'toxic parents' on Google last year, but I found this book and I downloaded it and I started reading immediately. It was a revelation. Not because I didn't know that the beatings and the verbal abuse had been wrong and not my fault - that was what drove me crazy because I always felt and knew how unfair they were to me - but knowing that "Yes, I am NOT crazy for being angry! I'm not bad or evil for acknowleding the abuse! I have the RIGHT to be angry at, hate, and exlude these people from my life!"
Forward explains the different ways of toxic behaviour, from controlling parents and negligence, to sexual abuse. The examples are not only great guides, they also are a pool of comfort, a sign that the victim reading the book is not alone. And that is very important! You understand the pain of the victims in the book, you feel their pain and you feel your own pain and in the sadness and anger and grief you experience, you are also freed and protected.
What I also loved about this book is the analysis of the different types of abuse, how Forward explains the danger of Freudian beliefs, and the end goal: to find your own piece no matter what. It's not about reconciliation but about you overcoming the pain and becoming a better version of yourself, a happier and more indipentend one.
Indipendence is what victims have to regain and it's incredibly beautiful to not give a damn anymore if your abusive parents agree with your and your life or not. It's not about them accepting you, it's about you accepting yourself and doing what ever makes you happy.
This book gave me what I needed and one freeing thought was to be able to get another person tell me "Yes, you absolutely can cut people out of your lives when they hurt you so badly". I absolutely hate the idea of just accepting abuse and shrug it off, forgiving it and "be the bigger person". To this I say: No, I will not tolerate abuse and I don't have to just accept it to keep a fake peace up.
The only thing I wished is that more people found the courage to go the necessary steps to free themselves. This book is only one step of many and I hope people find strength in therapy.
So my last words go to all the people who suffered/are suffering: Get the help you need. You are not alone. You matter and you are worth it.
January 6, 2020
Powerfull in its own right and ironic because those who deal with toxic parents most often feel powerless. I can鈥檛 speak for anyone else, but dealing with toxic parents is like walking on eggshells. Every day is different from the next except for one thing, the anger, the pain, confusion, the sadness, the fear are always still there. If you are carrying around a heavy burden based on your relationship with your parents, please read this book. They say, 鈥淭he sun also rises,鈥� well, so does the darkness.
August 17, 2021
It took me far too long to recognize the emotional manipulation and humiliation I grew up with. Once I did, a friend of mine recommended this book to me and I read it 2 years ago. I liked it a lot and it's helped me gain the courage to expect respect from my family. Just spent 10 days with them and I actually had the courage to speak up against the sexist, racist, and otherwise offensive comments and degradation. Unfortunately, I don't think I can do that for long. I need to re-read this and re-think that relationship in general.
My goal as a parent: for my children to not end up needing counseling because of me.
My goal as a parent: for my children to not end up needing counseling because of me.
September 29, 2021
袩褗褉胁邪褌邪 褔邪褋褌 锌褉芯褋谢械写褟胁邪 褌懈锌芯胁械褌械 芯褌褉芯胁薪懈 褉芯写懈褌械谢懈, 锌芯写泻褉械锌械薪懈 褋 锌褉懈屑械褉懈 芯褌 锌褉邪泻褌懈泻邪褌邪 薪邪 邪胁褌芯褉泻邪褌邪. 袗 胁褌芯褉邪褌邪 锌褉械写谢邪谐邪 芯斜褖懈 褉械褕械薪懈褟 蟹邪 褋锌褉邪胁褟薪械 褋 锌芯褋谢械写懈褑懈褌械, 薪芯 胁褋械泻懈 褋谢褍褔邪泄 褋懈 械 褋褌褉芯谐芯 懈薪写懈胁懈写褍邪谢械薪, 褌邪泻邪 褔械 械 褌褉褍写薪芯 写邪 褋械 泻邪卸械, 褔械 褌械蟹懈 褋褗胁械褌懈 褖械 锌褉芯褉邪斜芯褌褟褌 薪邪 100% 锌褉懈 胁褋懈褔泻懈. 袣薪懈谐邪褌邪 褉邪蟹谐褉褗褖邪 褌芯胁邪, 泻芯械褌芯 褋械 蟹邪褋褌褗锌胁邪 懈 胁 写褉褍谐懈 锌褋懈褏芯谢芯谐懈褔械褋泻懈 褌械芯褉懈懈 鈥� 褔械 锌褉械卸懈胁褟胁邪薪懈褟 芯褌 写械褌褋褌胁芯褌芯 褋邪 锌褉械写芯锌褉械写械谢褟褖懈 蟹邪 卸懈胁芯褌邪 薪懈 泻邪褌芯 胁褗蟹褉邪褋褌薪懈. 袣邪褌芯 褌褍泻 褋褗褖械褋褌胁械薪邪褌邪 褉芯谢褟 械 芯褌褉械写械薪邪 薪邪 胁谢懈褟薪懈械褌芯 薪邪 褉芯写懈褌械谢褟 胁褗褉褏褍 写械褌械褌芯.
鈥炐� 芯褔懈褌械 薪邪 写械褌械褌芯 薪械锌褉械写褋泻邪蟹褍械屑懈褟褌 褉芯写懈褌械谢 械 褋褌褉邪褏芯胁懈褌芯 斜芯卸械褋褌胁芯. 袙 写械褌褋褌胁芯褌芯 斜芯谐芯锌芯写芯斜薪懈褌械 褉芯写懈褌械谢懈 褋邪 斜懈谢懈 胁褋懈褔泻芯 蟹邪 薪邪褋. 孝械 械写懈薪褋褌胁械薪懈 褋邪 薪懈 芯斜懈褔邪谢懈, 蟹邪褖懈褌邪胁邪谢懈, 锌芯写褋谢芯薪褟胁邪谢懈, 懈蟹褏褉邪薪胁邪谢懈. 孝褟褏薪邪褌邪 谢懈锌褋邪 械 斜懈谢邪 褉邪胁薪芯褋懈谢薪邪 薪邪 薪械懈蟹屑械褉懈屑 褍卸邪褋, 褌褗泄 泻邪褌芯 芯褌 褌褟褏 械 蟹邪胁懈褋械谢芯 芯褑械谢褟胁邪薪械褌芯 薪懈. 孝械 褋邪 斜懈谢懈 胁褋械屑芯谐褗褖懈褌械 芯褋懈谐褍褉懈褌械谢懈. 袧懈械 胁褋褟褔械褋泻懈 褋屑械 褋械 薪褍卸写邪械谢懈 芯褌 芯薪芯胁邪, 泻芯械褌芯 褋邪 薪懈 写邪胁邪谢懈.鈥�
鈥炐熝€芯褑械褋褗褌 薪邪 褉邪蟹谐褉邪薪懈褔邪胁邪薪械 芯褌 褉芯写懈褌械谢懈褌械 写芯褋褌懈谐邪 褋胁芯褟 胁褉褗褏 锌褉械蟹 锌褍斜械褉褌械褌邪 懈 褞薪芯褕械褋褌胁芯褌芯, 泻芯谐邪褌芯 胁褗蟹薪懈泻胁邪 邪泻褌懈胁薪邪 泻芯薪褎褉芯薪褌邪褑懈褟 褋 褉芯写懈褌械谢褋泻懈褌械 褑械薪薪芯褋褌懈, 胁泻褍褋芯胁械 懈 邪胁褌芯褉懈褌械褌. 袪邪蟹褍屑薪懈褌械 懈 褋褌邪斜懈谢薪懈 褉芯写懈褌械谢懈 褋邪 褋锌芯褋芯斜薪懈 写邪 锌芯薪械褋邪褌 懈 锌褉械芯写芯谢械褟褌 锌芯褉芯写械薪懈褌械 芯褌 锌芯写芯斜薪懈 锌褉芯屑械薪懈 褌褉械胁芯谐懈. 袗泻芯 薪械 写褉褍谐芯, 褌械 褖械 褋械 芯锌懈褌邪褌 写邪 褌芯谢械褉懈褉邪褌, 屑邪泻邪褉 懈 写邪 薪械 芯泻褍褉邪卸邪胁邪褌 锌褉芯斜褍卸写邪褖邪褌邪 褋械 薪械蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑芯褋褌 薪邪 褌褟褏薪芯褌芯 写械褌械. 袟邪 褉邪蟹斜懈褉邪褖懈褌械 褉芯写懈褌械谢懈 械 褏邪褉邪泻褌械褉薪邪 褎褉邪蟹邪褌邪: 鈥炐⑿拘残� 械 褋邪屑芯 褎邪蟹邪 芯褌 褉邪蟹胁懈褌懈械褌芯鈥�, 蟹邪褖芯褌芯 褌械 锌芯屑薪褟褌 褋芯斜褋褌胁械薪懈褟 褋懈 锌褍斜械褉褌械褌 懈 芯褑械薪褟胁邪褌 斜褍薪褌邪褉褋褌胁芯褌芯 泻邪褌芯 薪芯褉屑邪谢械薪 械褌邪锌 芯褌 械屑芯褑懈芯薪邪谢薪芯褌芯 褋褗蟹褉褟胁邪薪械.
鈥炐炑傃€芯胁薪懈褌械鈥� 褉芯写懈褌械谢懈 薪械 锌褉芯褟胁褟胁邪褌 锌芯写芯斜薪芯 褉邪蟹斜懈褉邪薪械. 袨褌 锌褉懈褍褔胁邪薪械褌芯 泻褗屑 谐褗褉薪械褌芯 写芯 泻褉邪褟 薪邪 锌褍斜械褉褌械褌邪, 褌械 锌褉懈械屑邪褌 泻邪褌芯 锌械褉褋芯薪邪谢薪邪 邪褌邪泻邪 斜褍薪褌邪褉褋褌胁芯褌芯 懈 写芯褉懈 谢懈褔薪芯褋褌薪懈褌械 褉邪蟹谢懈褔懈褟 懈 褋邪 褋泻谢芯薪薪懈 写邪 褋械 蟹邪褖懈褌邪胁邪褌, 泻邪褌芯 锌芯写褋懈谢胁邪褌 蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑芯褋褌褌邪 懈 斜械蟹锌芯屑芯褖薪芯褋褌褌邪 薪邪 写械褑邪褌邪 褋懈. 孝邪泻邪, 胁屑械褋褌芯 写邪 锌芯写锌芯屑邪谐邪褌 薪芯褉屑邪谢薪芯褌芯 褉邪蟹胁懈褌懈械, 褌械 薪械褋褗蟹薪邪褌械谢薪芯 谐芯 芯褋褍械褌褟胁邪褌, 薪械褉褟写泻芯 胁褟褉胁邪泄泻懈, 褔械 谐芯 胁褗褉褕邪褌 蟹邪 写芯斜褉芯褌芯 薪邪 写械褌械褌芯. 袙褗蟹屑芯卸薪芯 械 写邪 懈蟹锌芯谢蟹胁邪褌 褎芯褉屑褍谢懈褉芯胁泻懈 泻邪褌芯 鈥炐⑿靶盒� 褋械 褎芯褉屑懈褉邪 褏邪褉邪泻褌械褉褗褌鈥� 懈谢懈 鈥炐⒀� 褌褉褟斜胁邪 写邪 褋械 薪邪褍褔懈 泻芯械 械 写芯斜褉芯 懈 泻芯械 谢芯褕芯鈥�, 薪芯 邪褉褋械薪邪谢褗褌 薪邪 薪械谐邪褌懈胁懈蟹屑邪 薪邪懈褋褌懈薪邪 胁褉械写懈 薪邪 褋邪屑芯褔褍胁褋褌胁懈械褌芯 薪邪 写械褌械褌芯 懈 锌褉械褔懈 薪邪 锌褉芯褏芯卸写邪褖邪褌邪 薪械蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑芯褋褌. 袣芯谢泻芯褌芯 懈 写邪 胁褟褉胁邪褌, 褔械 褋邪 锌褉邪胁懈, 褌械褏薪懈褌械 邪褌邪泻懈 芯斜褗褉泻胁邪褌 写械褌械褌芯, 蟹邪褖芯褌芯 褋邪 薪械芯斜芯褋薪芯胁邪薪芯 薪械锌褉懈褟蟹薪械薪懈, 褟褉芯褋褌薪懈 懈 薪械芯褔邪泻胁邪薪懈.
鈥炐炑傃€懈褔邪薪械褌芯 械 薪邪泄-锌褉懈屑懈褌懈胁薪邪褌邪, 薪芯 懈 薪邪泄-屑芯褖薪邪褌邪 锌褋懈褏芯谢芯谐懈褔械褋泻邪 蟹邪褖懈褌邪. 孝芯 械 胁褗芯斜褉邪卸邪械屑邪 褉械邪谢薪芯褋褌, 胁 泻芯褟褌芯 褉械蟹褍谢褌邪褌褗褌 芯褌 薪褟泻芯懈 芯褋芯斜械薪芯 屑褗褔懈褌械谢薪懈 锌褉械卸懈胁褟胁邪薪懈褟 褋械 芯屑邪谢芯胁邪卸邪胁邪 懈 写芯褉懈 芯褌褏胁褗褉谢褟. 袨褌褉懈褔邪薪械褌芯 薪懈 锌芯蟹胁芯谢褟胁邪 写邪 蟹邪斜褉邪胁懈屑 芯薪芯胁邪, 泻芯械褌芯 褋邪 薪懈 褋褌芯褉懈谢懈 薪邪褕懈褌械 褉芯写懈褌械谢懈, 懈 薪懈械 锌褉芯写褗谢卸邪胁邪屑械 写邪 谐懈 写褗褉卸懈屑 薪邪 锌懈械写械褋褌邪谢.鈥�
鈥炐斝拘盒把傂� 懈蟹褍褔邪胁邪褏 锌褋懈褏芯谢芯谐懈褟, 锌芯锌邪写薪邪褏 薪邪 锌芯褉械写懈褑邪 懈谢褞褋褌褉邪褑懈懈 胁 械写懈薪 褍褔械斜薪懈泻, 泻芯懈褌芯 芯锌懈褋胁邪褏邪 泻邪泻 褏芯褉邪褌邪 锌褉械褏胁褗褉谢褟褌 褔褍胁褋褌胁邪褌邪 褋懈 鈥� 懈 薪邪泄-胁械褔械 谐薪械胁邪. 袧邪 锌褗褉胁邪褌邪 泻邪褉褌懈薪泻邪 斜械褕械 懈蟹芯斜褉邪蟹械薪 屑褗卸, 泻芯泄褌芯 褋谢褍褕邪褕械 泻褉褟褋褗褑懈褌械 薪邪 褕械褎邪 褋懈. 袨褔械胁懈写薪芯 懈 写褍屑邪 薪械 屑芯卸械褕械 写邪 褋褌邪胁邪 锌芯写褔懈薪械薪懈褟褌 褋褗褖芯 写邪 芯褌谐芯胁芯褉懈 褋 泻褉褟褋褗褑懈, 褌邪泻邪 褔械 薪邪 胁褌芯褉邪褌邪 泻邪褉褌懈薪泻邪 褋褗褖懈褟褌 屑褗卸 褋械 斜械 锌褉懈斜褉邪谢 懈 泻褉械褖械褕械 薪邪 卸械薪邪 褋懈. 袧邪 褌褉械褌邪褌邪, 卸械薪邪褌邪 泻褉械褖械褕械 薪邪 写械褑邪褌邪. 袛械褑邪褌邪 懈蟹褉懈褌胁邪褏邪 泻褍褔械褌芯 懈 泻褍褔械褌芯 褍褏邪锌胁邪褕械 泻芯褌泻邪褌邪.鈥�
袠 褌.薪. 懈 褌.薪.
袠屑邪 懈 芯褖械 写芯褋褌邪 屑芯屑械薪褌懈 锌芯-薪邪褌邪褌褗泻, 泻芯懈褌芯 褍褋锌褟褏邪 写邪 屑懈 褋械 芯褌泻褉芯褟褌.
袨锌褉械写械谢械薪芯 泻薪懈谐邪褌邪 屑懈 斜械褕械 懈薪褌械褉械褋薪邪 懈 锌芯谢械蟹薪邪 芯褌 懈薪褎芯褉屑邪褌懈胁薪邪 褋褌褉邪薪邪.
袨褑械薪泻邪 4.4.
鈥炐� 芯褔懈褌械 薪邪 写械褌械褌芯 薪械锌褉械写褋泻邪蟹褍械屑懈褟褌 褉芯写懈褌械谢 械 褋褌褉邪褏芯胁懈褌芯 斜芯卸械褋褌胁芯. 袙 写械褌褋褌胁芯褌芯 斜芯谐芯锌芯写芯斜薪懈褌械 褉芯写懈褌械谢懈 褋邪 斜懈谢懈 胁褋懈褔泻芯 蟹邪 薪邪褋. 孝械 械写懈薪褋褌胁械薪懈 褋邪 薪懈 芯斜懈褔邪谢懈, 蟹邪褖懈褌邪胁邪谢懈, 锌芯写褋谢芯薪褟胁邪谢懈, 懈蟹褏褉邪薪胁邪谢懈. 孝褟褏薪邪褌邪 谢懈锌褋邪 械 斜懈谢邪 褉邪胁薪芯褋懈谢薪邪 薪邪 薪械懈蟹屑械褉懈屑 褍卸邪褋, 褌褗泄 泻邪褌芯 芯褌 褌褟褏 械 蟹邪胁懈褋械谢芯 芯褑械谢褟胁邪薪械褌芯 薪懈. 孝械 褋邪 斜懈谢懈 胁褋械屑芯谐褗褖懈褌械 芯褋懈谐褍褉懈褌械谢懈. 袧懈械 胁褋褟褔械褋泻懈 褋屑械 褋械 薪褍卸写邪械谢懈 芯褌 芯薪芯胁邪, 泻芯械褌芯 褋邪 薪懈 写邪胁邪谢懈.鈥�
鈥炐熝€芯褑械褋褗褌 薪邪 褉邪蟹谐褉邪薪懈褔邪胁邪薪械 芯褌 褉芯写懈褌械谢懈褌械 写芯褋褌懈谐邪 褋胁芯褟 胁褉褗褏 锌褉械蟹 锌褍斜械褉褌械褌邪 懈 褞薪芯褕械褋褌胁芯褌芯, 泻芯谐邪褌芯 胁褗蟹薪懈泻胁邪 邪泻褌懈胁薪邪 泻芯薪褎褉芯薪褌邪褑懈褟 褋 褉芯写懈褌械谢褋泻懈褌械 褑械薪薪芯褋褌懈, 胁泻褍褋芯胁械 懈 邪胁褌芯褉懈褌械褌. 袪邪蟹褍屑薪懈褌械 懈 褋褌邪斜懈谢薪懈 褉芯写懈褌械谢懈 褋邪 褋锌芯褋芯斜薪懈 写邪 锌芯薪械褋邪褌 懈 锌褉械芯写芯谢械褟褌 锌芯褉芯写械薪懈褌械 芯褌 锌芯写芯斜薪懈 锌褉芯屑械薪懈 褌褉械胁芯谐懈. 袗泻芯 薪械 写褉褍谐芯, 褌械 褖械 褋械 芯锌懈褌邪褌 写邪 褌芯谢械褉懈褉邪褌, 屑邪泻邪褉 懈 写邪 薪械 芯泻褍褉邪卸邪胁邪褌 锌褉芯斜褍卸写邪褖邪褌邪 褋械 薪械蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑芯褋褌 薪邪 褌褟褏薪芯褌芯 写械褌械. 袟邪 褉邪蟹斜懈褉邪褖懈褌械 褉芯写懈褌械谢懈 械 褏邪褉邪泻褌械褉薪邪 褎褉邪蟹邪褌邪: 鈥炐⑿拘残� 械 褋邪屑芯 褎邪蟹邪 芯褌 褉邪蟹胁懈褌懈械褌芯鈥�, 蟹邪褖芯褌芯 褌械 锌芯屑薪褟褌 褋芯斜褋褌胁械薪懈褟 褋懈 锌褍斜械褉褌械褌 懈 芯褑械薪褟胁邪褌 斜褍薪褌邪褉褋褌胁芯褌芯 泻邪褌芯 薪芯褉屑邪谢械薪 械褌邪锌 芯褌 械屑芯褑懈芯薪邪谢薪芯褌芯 褋褗蟹褉褟胁邪薪械.
鈥炐炑傃€芯胁薪懈褌械鈥� 褉芯写懈褌械谢懈 薪械 锌褉芯褟胁褟胁邪褌 锌芯写芯斜薪芯 褉邪蟹斜懈褉邪薪械. 袨褌 锌褉懈褍褔胁邪薪械褌芯 泻褗屑 谐褗褉薪械褌芯 写芯 泻褉邪褟 薪邪 锌褍斜械褉褌械褌邪, 褌械 锌褉懈械屑邪褌 泻邪褌芯 锌械褉褋芯薪邪谢薪邪 邪褌邪泻邪 斜褍薪褌邪褉褋褌胁芯褌芯 懈 写芯褉懈 谢懈褔薪芯褋褌薪懈褌械 褉邪蟹谢懈褔懈褟 懈 褋邪 褋泻谢芯薪薪懈 写邪 褋械 蟹邪褖懈褌邪胁邪褌, 泻邪褌芯 锌芯写褋懈谢胁邪褌 蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑芯褋褌褌邪 懈 斜械蟹锌芯屑芯褖薪芯褋褌褌邪 薪邪 写械褑邪褌邪 褋懈. 孝邪泻邪, 胁屑械褋褌芯 写邪 锌芯写锌芯屑邪谐邪褌 薪芯褉屑邪谢薪芯褌芯 褉邪蟹胁懈褌懈械, 褌械 薪械褋褗蟹薪邪褌械谢薪芯 谐芯 芯褋褍械褌褟胁邪褌, 薪械褉褟写泻芯 胁褟褉胁邪泄泻懈, 褔械 谐芯 胁褗褉褕邪褌 蟹邪 写芯斜褉芯褌芯 薪邪 写械褌械褌芯. 袙褗蟹屑芯卸薪芯 械 写邪 懈蟹锌芯谢蟹胁邪褌 褎芯褉屑褍谢懈褉芯胁泻懈 泻邪褌芯 鈥炐⑿靶盒� 褋械 褎芯褉屑懈褉邪 褏邪褉邪泻褌械褉褗褌鈥� 懈谢懈 鈥炐⒀� 褌褉褟斜胁邪 写邪 褋械 薪邪褍褔懈 泻芯械 械 写芯斜褉芯 懈 泻芯械 谢芯褕芯鈥�, 薪芯 邪褉褋械薪邪谢褗褌 薪邪 薪械谐邪褌懈胁懈蟹屑邪 薪邪懈褋褌懈薪邪 胁褉械写懈 薪邪 褋邪屑芯褔褍胁褋褌胁懈械褌芯 薪邪 写械褌械褌芯 懈 锌褉械褔懈 薪邪 锌褉芯褏芯卸写邪褖邪褌邪 薪械蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑芯褋褌. 袣芯谢泻芯褌芯 懈 写邪 胁褟褉胁邪褌, 褔械 褋邪 锌褉邪胁懈, 褌械褏薪懈褌械 邪褌邪泻懈 芯斜褗褉泻胁邪褌 写械褌械褌芯, 蟹邪褖芯褌芯 褋邪 薪械芯斜芯褋薪芯胁邪薪芯 薪械锌褉懈褟蟹薪械薪懈, 褟褉芯褋褌薪懈 懈 薪械芯褔邪泻胁邪薪懈.
鈥炐炑傃€懈褔邪薪械褌芯 械 薪邪泄-锌褉懈屑懈褌懈胁薪邪褌邪, 薪芯 懈 薪邪泄-屑芯褖薪邪褌邪 锌褋懈褏芯谢芯谐懈褔械褋泻邪 蟹邪褖懈褌邪. 孝芯 械 胁褗芯斜褉邪卸邪械屑邪 褉械邪谢薪芯褋褌, 胁 泻芯褟褌芯 褉械蟹褍谢褌邪褌褗褌 芯褌 薪褟泻芯懈 芯褋芯斜械薪芯 屑褗褔懈褌械谢薪懈 锌褉械卸懈胁褟胁邪薪懈褟 褋械 芯屑邪谢芯胁邪卸邪胁邪 懈 写芯褉懈 芯褌褏胁褗褉谢褟. 袨褌褉懈褔邪薪械褌芯 薪懈 锌芯蟹胁芯谢褟胁邪 写邪 蟹邪斜褉邪胁懈屑 芯薪芯胁邪, 泻芯械褌芯 褋邪 薪懈 褋褌芯褉懈谢懈 薪邪褕懈褌械 褉芯写懈褌械谢懈, 懈 薪懈械 锌褉芯写褗谢卸邪胁邪屑械 写邪 谐懈 写褗褉卸懈屑 薪邪 锌懈械写械褋褌邪谢.鈥�
鈥炐斝拘盒把傂� 懈蟹褍褔邪胁邪褏 锌褋懈褏芯谢芯谐懈褟, 锌芯锌邪写薪邪褏 薪邪 锌芯褉械写懈褑邪 懈谢褞褋褌褉邪褑懈懈 胁 械写懈薪 褍褔械斜薪懈泻, 泻芯懈褌芯 芯锌懈褋胁邪褏邪 泻邪泻 褏芯褉邪褌邪 锌褉械褏胁褗褉谢褟褌 褔褍胁褋褌胁邪褌邪 褋懈 鈥� 懈 薪邪泄-胁械褔械 谐薪械胁邪. 袧邪 锌褗褉胁邪褌邪 泻邪褉褌懈薪泻邪 斜械褕械 懈蟹芯斜褉邪蟹械薪 屑褗卸, 泻芯泄褌芯 褋谢褍褕邪褕械 泻褉褟褋褗褑懈褌械 薪邪 褕械褎邪 褋懈. 袨褔械胁懈写薪芯 懈 写褍屑邪 薪械 屑芯卸械褕械 写邪 褋褌邪胁邪 锌芯写褔懈薪械薪懈褟褌 褋褗褖芯 写邪 芯褌谐芯胁芯褉懈 褋 泻褉褟褋褗褑懈, 褌邪泻邪 褔械 薪邪 胁褌芯褉邪褌邪 泻邪褉褌懈薪泻邪 褋褗褖懈褟褌 屑褗卸 褋械 斜械 锌褉懈斜褉邪谢 懈 泻褉械褖械褕械 薪邪 卸械薪邪 褋懈. 袧邪 褌褉械褌邪褌邪, 卸械薪邪褌邪 泻褉械褖械褕械 薪邪 写械褑邪褌邪. 袛械褑邪褌邪 懈蟹褉懈褌胁邪褏邪 泻褍褔械褌芯 懈 泻褍褔械褌芯 褍褏邪锌胁邪褕械 泻芯褌泻邪褌邪.鈥�
袠 褌.薪. 懈 褌.薪.
袠屑邪 懈 芯褖械 写芯褋褌邪 屑芯屑械薪褌懈 锌芯-薪邪褌邪褌褗泻, 泻芯懈褌芯 褍褋锌褟褏邪 写邪 屑懈 褋械 芯褌泻褉芯褟褌.
袨锌褉械写械谢械薪芯 泻薪懈谐邪褌邪 屑懈 斜械褕械 懈薪褌械褉械褋薪邪 懈 锌芯谢械蟹薪邪 芯褌 懈薪褎芯褉屑邪褌懈胁薪邪 褋褌褉邪薪邪.
袨褑械薪泻邪 4.4.
February 9, 2020
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丿乇爻鬲賴 丿乇 噩丕賲毓賴 丕蹖 賲孬賱 噩丕賲毓賴 賲丕 讴賴 賲乇丕噩毓賴 亘賴 乇賵丕賳倬夭卮讴 丕賵賳賯丿乇 讴賴 亘丕蹖丿 賳蹖爻鬲 鬲賵氐蹖賴 賴丕 賲胤賲卅賳賳 賲賮蹖丿 賴爻鬲 丕賲丕 讴丕賮蹖...責
賵 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 丕蹖賳 噩匕丕亘蹖鬲 乇賵 亘乇丕蹖 賲賳 亘賴 賴賲乇丕賴 丿丕卮鬲
亘禺卮 丕賵賱 讴鬲丕亘 讴賴 丕賳賵丕毓 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賲蹖 乇賵 賲毓乇賮蹖 賲蹖讴賳賴 賵 丿賱丕蹖賱 乇賮鬲丕乇賴丕 賵 鬲丕孬蹖乇 丕蹖賳 乇賮鬲丕乇 賴丕 乇賵 亘蹖丕賳 賲蹖讴賳賴 亘賴 丨丿 禺賵亘蹖 亘乇丕蹖 賲賳 噩匕丕亘 亘賵丿 亘禺卮 丿賵賲 "讴賳鬲乇賱 夭賳丿诏蹖 禺賵丿 乇丕 亘賴 丿爻鬲 亘诏蹖乇蹖丿 " 亘禺卮蹖 亘賵丿 讴 賮賴賲蹖丿賲 趩乇丕 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丕氐乇丕乇 丿丕卮鬲 亘丕蹖丿 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 亘禺賵賳蹖賳 丿乇 氐賵乇鬲蹖 讴賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賲蹖 丿丕卮鬲蹖賳 賵 蹖丕 賵丕賱丿 爻賲蹖 亘賵丿蹖賳 趩賵賳 亘禺卮 讴丕乇亘乇丿蹖 亘賵丿
讴賱蹖 賳讴鬲賴 亘乇丿丕乇蹖 讴乇丿賲 丕夭 乇賵蹖 讴鬲丕亘 賵 讴賱蹖 丨爻 賲蹖讴賳賲 讴鬲丕亘 丕胤賱丕毓丕鬲 賲賮蹖丿蹖 亘賴賲 丿丕丿
賵 趩蹖 亘賴鬲乇 丕夭 丕蹖賳責
蹖 賳賯丿蹖 讴賴 亘賴 讴鬲丕亘 丿丕卮鬲賲 丕蹖賳 亘賵丿 讴賴 蹖 賯爻賲鬲 賴丕蹖蹖 丕夭 讴鬲丕亘 亘賴 賲賳 丨爻 丕蹖賳 賵 賲蹖丿丕丿 讴賴 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 賲蹖诏賮鬲 讴鬲丕亘 賲賳 讴丕賮蹖賴 亘乇丕蹖 丿乇賲丕賳 賲卮讴賱鬲賵賳 丨鬲蹖 丿乇賲丕賳 賲卮讴賱丕鬲 丕賮乇丕丿蹖 讴賴 鬲噩丕賵夭 丿乇 讴賵丿讴蹖 丿丕卮鬲賳丿
賲賳 毓賱賲卮 乇賵 賳丿丕乇賲 丿乇 丕蹖賳 乇丕亘胤賴 讴賴 讴丕賮蹖 賴爻鬲 讴鬲丕亘 蹖丕 賳賴 賵賱蹖 丨爻 卮禺氐蹖賲 賲蹖诏賴 讴丕賮蹖 賳蹖爻鬲 讴鬲丕亘 賵 丨鬲賲丕 亘丕蹖丿 蹖 丿乇賲丕賳诏乇 賴賲乇丕賴 賮乇丿 亘丕卮賴
丿乇爻鬲賴 丿乇 噩丕賲毓賴 丕蹖 賲孬賱 噩丕賲毓賴 賲丕 讴賴 賲乇丕噩毓賴 亘賴 乇賵丕賳倬夭卮讴 丕賵賳賯丿乇 讴賴 亘丕蹖丿 賳蹖爻鬲 鬲賵氐蹖賴 賴丕 賲胤賲卅賳賳 賲賮蹖丿 賴爻鬲 丕賲丕 讴丕賮蹖...責
June 21, 2011
This book pulls no punches. Reading it is an important step for anyone that had toxic parents in their lives. The exercises are insightful and the 'advice' is excellent. It doesn't focus on general abuse, but digs deep down into the different kinds of abusive parents (neglectful, alcoholic, sexual, physical, etc), so reading the entire book from cover to cover may not be 100% necessary. You can fine tailor your reading to the situations that most closely apply to you.
This book also helps with the most extreme cases of abuse - the ones that require permanent separation from the abuser. It helps you understand when this option is the one to take, and helps you work through enacting it.
I wouldn't suggest reading this book completely alone - some kind of counselor should be working with you at the same time, because objectivity in the face of abuse can be difficult to find. But when you're at the point where you must make changes in your life in order to move forward, this book will be a good source of strength and direction.
This book also helps with the most extreme cases of abuse - the ones that require permanent separation from the abuser. It helps you understand when this option is the one to take, and helps you work through enacting it.
I wouldn't suggest reading this book completely alone - some kind of counselor should be working with you at the same time, because objectivity in the face of abuse can be difficult to find. But when you're at the point where you must make changes in your life in order to move forward, this book will be a good source of strength and direction.
April 20, 2021
I was originally going to move up the start of my reading date for Susan Forward鈥檚 1989 and pretty heavy hitting self help book Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life. However, since I have indeed been reading and rereading my personal copy of Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life since early 1990 (not only for necessary reassurance, self help and the comfort of not being alone with encountering family dysfunction but also simply because oh so very much of Susan Forward鈥檚 presented text is so painful and so hard to digest and deal with on an emotional and spiritual level that I for one have never been able to read Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life straight through and have sometimes needed to take years long breaks), I have decided to leave my starting to read date as in fact being 1990 (since yes indeed, the time I have spent with Susan Forward and her Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life has definitely been on and off since 1990 and is actually still rather much a work in progress).
Now while I would therefore never be able to consider Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life as so-called comfort reading, perusing the many examples of aptly labelled toxic parents and realising that with regard to verbal and emotional put downs, insults and denigration, my own parents do certainly seem to fit the bill so to speak for rather too many of Nancy Forward鈥檚 featured toxic types, this all has definitely been quite painfully eye-opening but also both necessary and something also offering both justification and credence (although I equally do thank providence that in my family, there were never instances of sexual abuse and that physical discipline only ever entailed mild spankings, but well, that the at times quite nasty tirades, hardly ever being praised and far too often being verbally trashed by my frustrated with me for being so different from them parents in my opinion generally and actually tended to rather hurt quite as much and often in fact much more for me personally than occasionally getting my ears boxed for misbehaving).
A necessary even if also traumatic and often infuriating read is Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life, and most definitely warmly recommended (but indeed with the necessary caveats that you do not in my humble opinion want to consider Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life for entertainment purposes, but for specific and also targeted self help purposes).
And the only reason for my rating for Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life not yet being four stars is that I do think author Susan Forward should have a better balance between horrible and not so traumatic examples of abuse and parental toxicity, as yes, reading rather constant examples of parents massively more toxic and despicable towards their children than mine ever were towards me (and my siblings) certainly did during my perusals of Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life often make me feel as though none of my family based issues were sufficiently significant to even warrant me being upset (and even feeling rather majorly guilty just owning a copy of Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life and considering my parents as potentially being thus).
Now while I would therefore never be able to consider Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life as so-called comfort reading, perusing the many examples of aptly labelled toxic parents and realising that with regard to verbal and emotional put downs, insults and denigration, my own parents do certainly seem to fit the bill so to speak for rather too many of Nancy Forward鈥檚 featured toxic types, this all has definitely been quite painfully eye-opening but also both necessary and something also offering both justification and credence (although I equally do thank providence that in my family, there were never instances of sexual abuse and that physical discipline only ever entailed mild spankings, but well, that the at times quite nasty tirades, hardly ever being praised and far too often being verbally trashed by my frustrated with me for being so different from them parents in my opinion generally and actually tended to rather hurt quite as much and often in fact much more for me personally than occasionally getting my ears boxed for misbehaving).
A necessary even if also traumatic and often infuriating read is Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life, and most definitely warmly recommended (but indeed with the necessary caveats that you do not in my humble opinion want to consider Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life for entertainment purposes, but for specific and also targeted self help purposes).
And the only reason for my rating for Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life not yet being four stars is that I do think author Susan Forward should have a better balance between horrible and not so traumatic examples of abuse and parental toxicity, as yes, reading rather constant examples of parents massively more toxic and despicable towards their children than mine ever were towards me (and my siblings) certainly did during my perusals of Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life often make me feel as though none of my family based issues were sufficiently significant to even warrant me being upset (and even feeling rather majorly guilty just owning a copy of Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life and considering my parents as potentially being thus).
February 26, 2013
Very insightful and confirming of suspicions you may have had/ still have but refused to believe.
Ever felt any of these feelings below in the back of your mind growing up in a family that gave the impression of perfect happiness? But never understood why or couldn't bare to think that your 'loving' family would try to cause you (mental/emotional/ and or physical) pain intentionally?
Like you were:
Being manipulated
Being spited by a parent ( said things knowing it would hurt your feelings)
Being criticized with disgust
Never good enough
Punished out of spite rather than disciplined
Taken advantage of
Forced to do things just so they could feel in control
Being guilt tripped
Teased because you had your own opinions and dared to try to stand on your own two feet
.... The list goes on. As children many of us were so innocent yet there was a part of us that felt something was off but because we had no prior experience in life we had no idea that it was wrong. We trusted these people and thought they were taking care of us but we were in danger.
Please, it is pointless to blame yourself. You may find hidden anger surface, thats ok. feeling anger is ok once you process it and realise that it is that little kid inside you that is angry because lets face it, you are a grown ass woman or man and now that you kno that there are others that suffered as well YOU can now make adjustment to your thinking (actually more like 'their' thinking projected onto you) you can make changes that positively affect you. Have COMPASSION for yourself not self pity because that shit will get you no where. Plus maybe you spent life thinking in their biased terms and NOW you can live on your terms.
TRUST ME. It WILL get better but YOU have to want it to in order for it to happen.
I wish you all the best!d
Ever felt any of these feelings below in the back of your mind growing up in a family that gave the impression of perfect happiness? But never understood why or couldn't bare to think that your 'loving' family would try to cause you (mental/emotional/ and or physical) pain intentionally?
Like you were:
Being manipulated
Being spited by a parent ( said things knowing it would hurt your feelings)
Being criticized with disgust
Never good enough
Punished out of spite rather than disciplined
Taken advantage of
Forced to do things just so they could feel in control
Being guilt tripped
Teased because you had your own opinions and dared to try to stand on your own two feet
.... The list goes on. As children many of us were so innocent yet there was a part of us that felt something was off but because we had no prior experience in life we had no idea that it was wrong. We trusted these people and thought they were taking care of us but we were in danger.
Please, it is pointless to blame yourself. You may find hidden anger surface, thats ok. feeling anger is ok once you process it and realise that it is that little kid inside you that is angry because lets face it, you are a grown ass woman or man and now that you kno that there are others that suffered as well YOU can now make adjustment to your thinking (actually more like 'their' thinking projected onto you) you can make changes that positively affect you. Have COMPASSION for yourself not self pity because that shit will get you no where. Plus maybe you spent life thinking in their biased terms and NOW you can live on your terms.
TRUST ME. It WILL get better but YOU have to want it to in order for it to happen.
I wish you all the best!d
September 11, 2019
賲賴賲! 爻亘賯 賵賯乇兀鬲賴 賲賳匕 爻賳賷賳 胤賵賷賱丞貙 賵兀鬲匕賰乇賴 噩賷丿丕..
March 13, 2021
膼芒y l脿 m峄檛 cu峄憂 s谩ch vi岷縯 v峄� ch峄� 膽峄� Cha m岷� 膽峄檆 h岷 - nh峄痭g cha m岷� mang 膽岷縩 岷h h瓢峄焠g ti锚u c峄眂 cho s峄� ph谩t tri峄僴 c峄 tr岷� v矛 nh峄痭g ni峄乵 tin, quy t岷痗 v脿 h脿nh vi h峄� 膽茫 t岷 n锚n cho con c峄 m矛nh su峄憈 tu峄昳 th啤 c峄 ch煤ng. Cu峄憂 s谩ch 膽瓢峄 chia l脿m hai ph岷: Ph岷 m峄� 膽岷 ph芒n t铆ch c谩ch th峄ヽ m脿 c谩c lo岷 cha m岷� 膽峄檆 b岷 kh谩c nhau th峄眂 hi峄噉; ph岷 th峄� hai vi岷縯 v峄� nh峄痭g k峄� thu岷璽 h脿nh vi 膽岷穋 bi峄噒 膽峄� ch峄痑 l脿nh nh峄痭g th瓢啤ng t峄昻 t芒m l媒 do cha m岷� 膽峄檆 h岷 mang 膽岷縩 cho nh峄痭g 膽峄゛ tr岷�.
Cu峄憂 s谩ch s峄� d峄g nh峄痭g case study 膽峄� ph芒n t铆ch h脿nh vi v脿 ph瓢啤ng ph谩p tr峄� li峄噓 t芒m l媒 t瓢啤ng 峄﹏g. B峄� c峄 r玫 r脿ng, ph芒n t铆ch k末 v脿 c贸 ch峄﹏g minh t铆nh hi峄噓 qu岷� c峄 case study qua vi峄嘽 update nh峄痭g thay 膽峄昳 c峄 c谩c b峄噉h nh芒n trong qu谩 tr矛nh 膽i峄乽 tr峄� v脿 nh峄痭g 岷h h瓢峄焠g t铆ch c峄眂 m脿 ng瓢峄漣 膽贸 c贸. T谩c gi岷� c农ng chia ph瓢啤ng 谩n h脿nh vi c峄 cha m岷� kh谩 膽a d岷g v脿 膽岷 膽峄�, kh谩 informative. C谩c ph岷 b峄� sung v脿 谩p d峄g cho nhau, d霉 ho脿n c岷h c峄 c谩c 膽峄゛ tr岷� c贸 kh谩c nhau, n锚n t峄昻g th峄�, d霉 kh么ng b峄� l岷 d峄g, b岷 v岷玭 thu nh岷穞 膽瓢峄 nh峄痭g gi谩 tr峄� nh岷 膽峄媙h khi 膽峄峜 膽岷縩 ph岷 ph芒n t铆ch n脿y.
M矛nh ngh末 膽芒y l脿 m峄檛 cu峄憂 s谩ch s芒u s岷痗 v脿 n锚n 膽峄峜, 膽峄慽 v峄沬 nh峄痭g ng瓢峄漣 mong mu峄憂 膽瓢峄 hi峄僽 r玫 h啤n v峄� b岷 th芒n, v峄� nh峄痭g t谩c 膽峄檔g c峄 cha m岷� l锚n b岷 th芒n h峄�, t峄� m峄ヽ 膽峄� nh峄� cho t峄沬 l峄沶.
Tuy nhi锚n, c贸 1 s峄� l瓢u 媒 cho nh峄痭g ng瓢峄漣 mu峄憂 膽峄峜 cu峄憂 s谩ch n脿y m峄檛 c谩ch hi峄噓 qu岷� nh岷:
1) C谩c ph岷 膽瓢峄 chia kh谩 r玫 r脿ng nh瓢ng h峄� th峄憂g thu岷璽 ng峄� ch瓢a 膽瓢峄 ph芒n b峄� c贸 h峄� th峄憂g, s岷� h啤i kh贸 kh膬n khi ti岷縫 nh岷璶 v峄沬 nh峄痭g ng瓢峄漣 c贸 ch瓢a c贸 ki岷縩 th峄ヽ n峄乶 t芒m l媒 h峄峜. M峄峣 ng瓢峄漣 c贸 th峄� 膽峄峜 l贸t tr瓢峄沜 cu峄憂 鈥淭矛m m矛nh trong th岷� gi峄沬 h岷璾 tu峄昳 th啤鈥� c峄 b谩c Giang, ho岷穋 note ra nh峄痭g thu岷璽 ng峄� trong s谩ch 膽峄� c贸 th峄� hi峄僽 t峄憈 h啤n, v脿 膽峄� r峄慽 h啤n.
2) Cu峄憂 s谩ch d霉 ph芒n t铆ch s芒u, nh瓢ng kh么ng chia case theo s峄� 岷h h瓢峄焠g c峄 m峄慽 quan h峄� cha/m岷� - con c谩i l锚n t铆nh ch岷 to脿n th峄� gia 膽矛nh (nh瓢 vi峄嘽 thi岷縰 t矛nh th瓢啤ng, 膽岷 vai,... trong cu峄憂 TMTTGHTT). Vi峄嘽 n脿y, m峄檛 l岷 n峄痑, s岷� khi岷縩 ng瓢峄漣 膽峄峜 kh贸 n岷痬 b岷痶 v脿 nh峄� 膽瓢峄 m峄峣 th峄� - h脿nh vi v脿 t铆nh ch岷 c峄 lo岷 h脿nh vi t芒m l媒. V脿 vi峄嘽 n脿y khi岷縩 toxic parents tr峄� n锚n thi岷縰 g岷 g农i h啤n v峄沬 th峄眂 t岷� ng瓢峄漣 膽峄峜, v矛 ng瓢峄漣 膽峄峜 d峄� h岷� th岷 nh峄痭g g矛 m矛nh tr岷 qua 膽峄� tr峄憂 tr谩nh s峄� th岷璽. Th锚m v脿o n峄痑 l脿 t谩c gi岷� d霉ng nhi峄乽 t峄� kh谩 g岷痶 v脿 n岷穘g, n锚n c脿ng c峄g c峄� kh岷硁g 膽峄媙h c峄 m矛nh 峄� c芒u tr瓢峄沜.
Nh瓢ng t贸m g峄峮 l岷, v峄沬 nh峄痭g l瓢u 媒 tr锚n, th矛 膽芒y l脿 m峄檛 cu峄憂 s谩ch x峄﹏g 膽谩ng 膽瓢峄 膽峄峜, 膽瓢峄 hi峄僽, v脿 膽瓢峄 谩p d峄g. M矛nh mong cu峄憂 s谩ch n脿y c贸 th峄� h峄� tr峄� 膽瓢峄 nhi峄乽 ng瓢峄漣 trong qu谩 tr矛nh ch峄痑 l脿nh b岷 th芒n v脿 s峄憂g m峄檛 cu峄檆 s峄憂g h岷h ph煤c v脿 b矛nh y锚n h啤n.
P.S. V峄� c岷 x煤c c谩 nh芒n c峄 m矛nh, th矛 cu峄憂 n脿y kh谩 n岷穘g n峄�, do m矛nh c峄� g岷痭g 膽峄峜 n贸 nhanh nh岷 c贸 th峄�, v矛 nh峄痭g c岷 x煤c n贸 g峄 l岷 kh么ng l岷 g矛 l脿m d峄� ch峄媢 v峄沬 m矛nh. Nh瓢ng 膽煤ng nh瓢 t谩c gi岷� n贸i, ph岷 l岷璽 gi峄� l岷 nh峄痭g t峄昻 th瓢啤ng v脿 ch峄媢 膽au 膽瓢峄 膽峄� r峄璦 s岷h ch煤ng, th矛 ch煤ng m峄沬 c贸 th峄� l脿nh 膽瓢峄. M矛nh c农ng tin l脿 nh瓢 v岷瓂!
Cu峄憂 s谩ch s峄� d峄g nh峄痭g case study 膽峄� ph芒n t铆ch h脿nh vi v脿 ph瓢啤ng ph谩p tr峄� li峄噓 t芒m l媒 t瓢啤ng 峄﹏g. B峄� c峄 r玫 r脿ng, ph芒n t铆ch k末 v脿 c贸 ch峄﹏g minh t铆nh hi峄噓 qu岷� c峄 case study qua vi峄嘽 update nh峄痭g thay 膽峄昳 c峄 c谩c b峄噉h nh芒n trong qu谩 tr矛nh 膽i峄乽 tr峄� v脿 nh峄痭g 岷h h瓢峄焠g t铆ch c峄眂 m脿 ng瓢峄漣 膽贸 c贸. T谩c gi岷� c农ng chia ph瓢啤ng 谩n h脿nh vi c峄 cha m岷� kh谩 膽a d岷g v脿 膽岷 膽峄�, kh谩 informative. C谩c ph岷 b峄� sung v脿 谩p d峄g cho nhau, d霉 ho脿n c岷h c峄 c谩c 膽峄゛ tr岷� c贸 kh谩c nhau, n锚n t峄昻g th峄�, d霉 kh么ng b峄� l岷 d峄g, b岷 v岷玭 thu nh岷穞 膽瓢峄 nh峄痭g gi谩 tr峄� nh岷 膽峄媙h khi 膽峄峜 膽岷縩 ph岷 ph芒n t铆ch n脿y.
M矛nh ngh末 膽芒y l脿 m峄檛 cu峄憂 s谩ch s芒u s岷痗 v脿 n锚n 膽峄峜, 膽峄慽 v峄沬 nh峄痭g ng瓢峄漣 mong mu峄憂 膽瓢峄 hi峄僽 r玫 h啤n v峄� b岷 th芒n, v峄� nh峄痭g t谩c 膽峄檔g c峄 cha m岷� l锚n b岷 th芒n h峄�, t峄� m峄ヽ 膽峄� nh峄� cho t峄沬 l峄沶.
Tuy nhi锚n, c贸 1 s峄� l瓢u 媒 cho nh峄痭g ng瓢峄漣 mu峄憂 膽峄峜 cu峄憂 s谩ch n脿y m峄檛 c谩ch hi峄噓 qu岷� nh岷:
1) C谩c ph岷 膽瓢峄 chia kh谩 r玫 r脿ng nh瓢ng h峄� th峄憂g thu岷璽 ng峄� ch瓢a 膽瓢峄 ph芒n b峄� c贸 h峄� th峄憂g, s岷� h啤i kh贸 kh膬n khi ti岷縫 nh岷璶 v峄沬 nh峄痭g ng瓢峄漣 c贸 ch瓢a c贸 ki岷縩 th峄ヽ n峄乶 t芒m l媒 h峄峜. M峄峣 ng瓢峄漣 c贸 th峄� 膽峄峜 l贸t tr瓢峄沜 cu峄憂 鈥淭矛m m矛nh trong th岷� gi峄沬 h岷璾 tu峄昳 th啤鈥� c峄 b谩c Giang, ho岷穋 note ra nh峄痭g thu岷璽 ng峄� trong s谩ch 膽峄� c贸 th峄� hi峄僽 t峄憈 h啤n, v脿 膽峄� r峄慽 h啤n.
2) Cu峄憂 s谩ch d霉 ph芒n t铆ch s芒u, nh瓢ng kh么ng chia case theo s峄� 岷h h瓢峄焠g c峄 m峄慽 quan h峄� cha/m岷� - con c谩i l锚n t铆nh ch岷 to脿n th峄� gia 膽矛nh (nh瓢 vi峄嘽 thi岷縰 t矛nh th瓢啤ng, 膽岷 vai,... trong cu峄憂 TMTTGHTT). Vi峄嘽 n脿y, m峄檛 l岷 n峄痑, s岷� khi岷縩 ng瓢峄漣 膽峄峜 kh贸 n岷痬 b岷痶 v脿 nh峄� 膽瓢峄 m峄峣 th峄� - h脿nh vi v脿 t铆nh ch岷 c峄 lo岷 h脿nh vi t芒m l媒. V脿 vi峄嘽 n脿y khi岷縩 toxic parents tr峄� n锚n thi岷縰 g岷 g农i h啤n v峄沬 th峄眂 t岷� ng瓢峄漣 膽峄峜, v矛 ng瓢峄漣 膽峄峜 d峄� h岷� th岷 nh峄痭g g矛 m矛nh tr岷 qua 膽峄� tr峄憂 tr谩nh s峄� th岷璽. Th锚m v脿o n峄痑 l脿 t谩c gi岷� d霉ng nhi峄乽 t峄� kh谩 g岷痶 v脿 n岷穘g, n锚n c脿ng c峄g c峄� kh岷硁g 膽峄媙h c峄 m矛nh 峄� c芒u tr瓢峄沜.
Nh瓢ng t贸m g峄峮 l岷, v峄沬 nh峄痭g l瓢u 媒 tr锚n, th矛 膽芒y l脿 m峄檛 cu峄憂 s谩ch x峄﹏g 膽谩ng 膽瓢峄 膽峄峜, 膽瓢峄 hi峄僽, v脿 膽瓢峄 谩p d峄g. M矛nh mong cu峄憂 s谩ch n脿y c贸 th峄� h峄� tr峄� 膽瓢峄 nhi峄乽 ng瓢峄漣 trong qu谩 tr矛nh ch峄痑 l脿nh b岷 th芒n v脿 s峄憂g m峄檛 cu峄檆 s峄憂g h岷h ph煤c v脿 b矛nh y锚n h啤n.
P.S. V峄� c岷 x煤c c谩 nh芒n c峄 m矛nh, th矛 cu峄憂 n脿y kh谩 n岷穘g n峄�, do m矛nh c峄� g岷痭g 膽峄峜 n贸 nhanh nh岷 c贸 th峄�, v矛 nh峄痭g c岷 x煤c n贸 g峄 l岷 kh么ng l岷 g矛 l脿m d峄� ch峄媢 v峄沬 m矛nh. Nh瓢ng 膽煤ng nh瓢 t谩c gi岷� n贸i, ph岷 l岷璽 gi峄� l岷 nh峄痭g t峄昻 th瓢啤ng v脿 ch峄媢 膽au 膽瓢峄 膽峄� r峄璦 s岷h ch煤ng, th矛 ch煤ng m峄沬 c贸 th峄� l脿nh 膽瓢峄. M矛nh c农ng tin l脿 nh瓢 v岷瓂!
January 3, 2011
This was a quick read but really didn't offer any useful, or real world, advice on how to overcome toxic parenting and reclaim your life. The book mostly focused on realizing and confronting the toxic parents. I would have given this book 2.5 stars if I could.
February 23, 2020
陌leti艧im'in bu serisini 莽ok seviyorum. Hem 莽eviriler hem de se莽ilen kitaplar g眉zel.
Zor Bir Ailede B眉y眉mek, tutars谋z, m眉kemmeliyet莽i, kontrolc眉, ba臒谋ml谋, duygusal veya fiziksel 艧iddet uygulayan, cinsel istismarda bulunan, k谋sacas谋 "toksik" ailelerin bir ferdi olmak hakk谋nda. Bunu, evvela aile sistemiyle a莽谋kl谋yor, sonradan her aile tipini detayl谋 olarak anlat谋yor, en sonunda da 莽枚z眉m 枚nerilerinde bulunuyor. 脟枚z眉m 枚nerileri bildik psikolog tavsiyelerinden biraz uzaktayd谋, baz谋lar谋n谋n olduk莽a yarat谋c谋 olduklar谋n谋 da s枚ylemeliyim. Kitab谋 okurken s谋k s谋k T眉rkiye'nin, daha geni艧 bi莽imde Akdeniz 眉lkelerinin sosyal yap谋lar谋 itibariyle toksik aile dinamiklerine sahip olmaya elveri艧li oldu臒unu d眉艧眉nd眉m. Okudu臒um bir莽ok k谋s谋mda kendime, 莽evreme benzer bir 艧eyler buldum. Bir aile dan谋艧man谋 aday谋 olarak hem dan谋艧anlar谋ma uygulayabilece臒im hem de kendi hayat谋mda bir 艧eyleri yoluna koymak i莽in kullanabilece臒im bir莽ok 艧ey 枚臒retti bana kitap. Alan d谋艧谋ndan okuyacaklar i莽in de dilinin 莽ok m眉sait oldu臒unu belirtmeliyim.
Kitaptan 莽ok sevdi臒im bir al谋nt谋yla bitireyim: San谋r谋m tanr谋, benim iyile艧memi affetmemden daha 莽ok istiyor.
Zor Bir Ailede B眉y眉mek, tutars谋z, m眉kemmeliyet莽i, kontrolc眉, ba臒谋ml谋, duygusal veya fiziksel 艧iddet uygulayan, cinsel istismarda bulunan, k谋sacas谋 "toksik" ailelerin bir ferdi olmak hakk谋nda. Bunu, evvela aile sistemiyle a莽谋kl谋yor, sonradan her aile tipini detayl谋 olarak anlat谋yor, en sonunda da 莽枚z眉m 枚nerilerinde bulunuyor. 脟枚z眉m 枚nerileri bildik psikolog tavsiyelerinden biraz uzaktayd谋, baz谋lar谋n谋n olduk莽a yarat谋c谋 olduklar谋n谋 da s枚ylemeliyim. Kitab谋 okurken s谋k s谋k T眉rkiye'nin, daha geni艧 bi莽imde Akdeniz 眉lkelerinin sosyal yap谋lar谋 itibariyle toksik aile dinamiklerine sahip olmaya elveri艧li oldu臒unu d眉艧眉nd眉m. Okudu臒um bir莽ok k谋s谋mda kendime, 莽evreme benzer bir 艧eyler buldum. Bir aile dan谋艧man谋 aday谋 olarak hem dan谋艧anlar谋ma uygulayabilece臒im hem de kendi hayat谋mda bir 艧eyleri yoluna koymak i莽in kullanabilece臒im bir莽ok 艧ey 枚臒retti bana kitap. Alan d谋艧谋ndan okuyacaklar i莽in de dilinin 莽ok m眉sait oldu臒unu belirtmeliyim.
Kitaptan 莽ok sevdi臒im bir al谋nt谋yla bitireyim: San谋r谋m tanr谋, benim iyile艧memi affetmemden daha 莽ok istiyor.
September 29, 2011
This book was given to me about 8 years ago, maybe more. Reading the cover, I thought - what a ridiculous sounding book; I had always scorned the concept anyway... the idea that I would "excuse" my life/ self-image/ relationship issues due to my "difficult" upbringing and by placing the "blame" on my ongoing relationship with my parents. And then I read the book.
The author's layout of the book, her easy-to-read style, and her not too harsh tone earned my trust. It's a sensitive subject and she handled it respectfully. It was her approach and technique that surprised me. The author defended the child we all were once. Her take on forgiveness was also very novel. I finished reading reading the book, two weeks ago, and I'm still processing the concepts. It takes a special person to engage so completely in an intimate subject matter and the author easily overcame my skepticism and taught me that I am not alone. That was both a sad and liberating realization.
The author's layout of the book, her easy-to-read style, and her not too harsh tone earned my trust. It's a sensitive subject and she handled it respectfully. It was her approach and technique that surprised me. The author defended the child we all were once. Her take on forgiveness was also very novel. I finished reading reading the book, two weeks ago, and I'm still processing the concepts. It takes a special person to engage so completely in an intimate subject matter and the author easily overcame my skepticism and taught me that I am not alone. That was both a sad and liberating realization.
August 26, 2021
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2- 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 亘蹖鈥屭┵佖й屫� 讴賴 賵馗丕蹖賮 倬丿乇蹖 蹖丕 賲丕丿乇蹖 禺賵丿卮賵賳 乇賵 亘賴 丿乇爻鬲蹖 丕賳噩丕賲 賳賲蹖鈥屫� 賵 亘丕乇 讴丕乇賴丕卮賵賳 乇賵 乇賵蹖 丿賵卮 賮乇夭賳丿丕賳卮賵賳 賲蹖鈥屫柏ж辟�.
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4- 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 賲毓鬲丕丿貙 亘趩賴鈥屬囏� 乇賵 讴鬲讴 賲蹖鈥屫操嗁嗀� 丕賵賳丕 乇賵 賵丕丿丕乇 亘賴 鬲丕賲蹖賳 賲賵丕丿 賲賵乇丿 賳蹖丕夭卮賵賳 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 賵 丕夭 胤乇賮 丿蹖诏賴貙 禺丕賳賵丕丿賴 賵 亘賴 賵蹖跇賴 亘趩賴鈥屬囏� 亘乇丕蹖 丨賮馗 丌亘乇賵 賲噩亘賵乇賳丿 賴賲賴鈥屭嗃屫� 乇賵 賳丕丿蹖丿賴鈥屫ㄚ屫辟嗀� 爻讴賵鬲 讴賳賳 賵 賵丕賳賲賵丿 讴賳賳 讴賴 丕鬲賮丕賯蹖 賳蹖賮鬲丕丿賴.
5- 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 亘丿夭亘丕賳 讴賴 賲丿丕賲 亘賴 賮乇夭賳丿丕賳卮賵賳 鬲賵賴蹖賳 賵 丕賵賳丕 乇賵 鬲丨賯蹖乇 賵 爻乇夭賳卮 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁嗀�.
6- 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 讴鬲讴鈥屫操�.
7- 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 賲鬲噩丕賵夭.
亘趩賴鈥屬囏� 賯賵賴鈥屰� 鬲卮禺蹖氐 賳丿丕乇賳丿. 賵賯鬲蹖 亘丕卮賵賳 亘丿乇賮鬲丕乇蹖 賲蹖鈥屫促囏� 讴鬲讴鈥� 賲蹖鈥屫堌辟嗀� 鬲丨賯蹖乇 賲蹖鈥屫促� 蹖丕 賲噩亘賵乇賳丿 鬲賵蹖 爻賳 讴賲 亘丕乇 夭賳丿诏蹖 乇賵 亘賴 鬲賳賴丕蹖蹖 亘賴 丿賵卮 亘讴卮賳貙 賴蹖趩 賵賯鬲 丨爻 賳賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 讴賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳鈥屫促堎� 丕蹖乇丕丿蹖 丿丕乇賳丿 蹖丕 鬲賲丕賲 丕蹖賳 丕鬲賮丕賯丕鬲 鬲賯氐蹖乇 丕賵賳丕爻鬲貙 亘賱讴賴 賮讴乇 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 丕卮讴丕賱 丕夭 禺賵丿卮賵賳賴 賵 禺賵丿卮賵賳 乇賵 爻夭丕賵丕乇 丕蹖賳 乇賮鬲丕乇 賲蹖鈥屫堎嗁�. 丕蹖賳 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏� 亘丕毓孬 賲蹖鈥屫促� 亘趩賴鈥屬囏� 丿乇 亘夭乇诏爻丕賱蹖貙 丕毓鬲賲丕丿 亘賴 賳賮爻 讴賲蹖 丿丕卮鬲賴鈥屫ㄘж促嗀� 禺賵丿讴賲鈥屫ㄛ屬� 亘丕卮賳貙 亘賴 丿蹖诏乇丕賳 丕毓鬲賲丕丿 賳讴賳賳 賵 賳鬲賵賳賳 亘丕 丿蹖诏乇丕賳 乇丕亘胤賴 亘乇賯乇丕乇 讴賳賳 蹖丕 丕夭丿賵丕噩 讴賳賳.
賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丕夭 鬲賲丕賲 讴爻丕賳蹖 讴賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賲蹖 丿丕卮鬲賳 賲蹖鈥屫堌ж� 讴賴 丿爻鬲 丕夭 禺賵丿賲賯氐乇倬賳丿丕卮鬲賳 禺賵丿卮賵賳 亘乇丿丕乇賳 賵 亘丿賵賳賳 賲爻卅賵賱 鬲賲丕賲 丕鬲賮丕賯丕鬲蹖 讴賴 鬲賵蹖 讴賵丿讴蹖鈥屫促堎� 丕賮鬲丕丿賴 倬丿乇 賵 賲丕丿乇卮賵賳 賴爻鬲賳丿 賵 丕賵賳丕 賲賯氐乇 鬲賲丕賲 乇賮鬲丕乇賴丕蹖蹖 賴爻鬲賳 讴賴 亘丕卮賵賳 丿丕卮鬲賳.
賵 亘毓丿 亘禺卮 丿賵賲 讴鬲丕亘 卮乇賵毓 賲蹖鈥屫促�. 丕蹖賳 讴賴 賮乇夭賳丿丕賳 趩賴 噩賵乇蹖 丕夭 鬲丕孬蹖乇 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賲蹖 亘乇 夭賳丿诏蹖鈥屫促堎� 讴賲 讴賳賳 蹖丕 亘賴 胤賵乇 讴賱蹖 鬲賲丕賲 丕賵賳 乇賮鬲丕乇賴丕 乇賵 亘蹖鈥屫ж� 讴賳賳. 讴賴 禺賵卮亘禺鬲丕賳賴 丕賲讴丕賳鈥屬矩佰屫辟�.
丕賵賱 丕夭 賴賲賴 丕蹖賳 丕賱夭锟斤拷賲 賵噩賵丿 賳丿丕乇賴 讴賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 亘禺卮蹖丿賴鈥屫ㄘ促� 鬲丕 丕夭 夭蹖乇 亘丕乇 丌夭丕乇 賵 丕匕蹖鬲 乇賵丕賳蹖 乇賮鬲丕乇賴丕卮賵賳 乇賴丕 卮丿. 趩賵賳 亘禺卮蹖丿賳 賮乇丌蹖賳丿蹖鈥屫池� 讴賴 亘賴 鬲丿乇蹖噩 丕鬲賮丕賯 賲蹖鈥屫з佖�. 賵賯鬲蹖 讴賴 丿蹖诏賴 丕賵賳 乇賳噩鈥屬囏� 亘蹖鈥屫ж� 賲蹖鈥屫促�. 倬爻 鬲賵賯毓 蹖讴鈥屫簇ㄙ� 乇賴丕讴乇丿賳 賴賲賴鈥屭嗃屫� 乇賵 賳丿丕卮鬲賴鈥屫ㄘж篡屬�.
丕賲丕 丕蹖賳 乇賵 賴賲 亘丿賵賳蹖賳 讴賴 賯乇亘丕賳蹖 丕賵賱 讴蹖賳賴鈥屫堌槽� 賵 賮讴乇 讴乇丿賳 亘賴 丕賳鬲賯丕賲 禺賵丿 賯乇亘丕賳蹖鈥屫池�.
亘禺卮卮 亘賴 丕蹖賳 賲毓賳丕爻鬲 讴賴 賳诏丕賴鈥屬呝堎� 亘賴 噩賱賵 亘丕卮賴貙 亘蹖鈥屫屫з� 丕鬲賮丕賯丕鬲 诏匕卮鬲賴 亘卮蹖賲 賵 鬲賲丕賲 丕蹖賳鈥屬囏� 亘賴 賲乇賵乇 賵 丿乇 胤賵賱 賲爻蹖乇 丿乇賲丕賳 丕鬲賮丕賯 賲蹖鈥屫з佖�.
丿乇 賲乇丨賱賴鈥屰� 亘毓丿蹖 讴鬲丕亘 蹖賴 爻乇蹖 鬲爻鬲 丿丕乇賴 讴賴 亘乇乇爻蹖 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 讴賴 卮賲丕 趩賴鈥屬傌� 丕夭 賳馗乇 毓丕胤賮蹖 亘賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳鈥屫堎� 賵丕亘爻鬲賴 賴爻鬲蹖賳. 賵 胤亘賯 诏賮鬲賴鈥屰� 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丕诏乇趩賴 亘蹖卮鬲乇 丕賮乇丕丿 丕夭 賳鬲蹖噩賴鈥屸€屫� 鬲毓噩亘 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁嗀� 亘賴 賵蹖跇賴 丕賮乇丕丿蹖 讴賴 賲爻鬲賯賱 賴爻鬲賳丿 賵 爻賳 賵 爻丕賱蹖 丕夭卮賵賳 诏匕卮鬲賴 丕賲丕 賲丕 丿乇 賴乇 爻賳蹖 丕夭 賱丨丕馗 毓丕胤賮蹖 賵 乇賵丕賳蹖 倬蹖賵賳丿 蹖丕 亘賴鬲乇賴 亘诏賲 賵丕亘爻鬲诏蹖 毓賲蹖賯蹖 亘賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳鈥屬呝堎� 丿丕乇蹖賲. 賵 亘乇丕蹖 賴賲蹖賳 賴賲 賴爻鬲 讴賴 禺蹖賱蹖 鬲丨鬲 鬲丕孬蹖乇 乇賮鬲丕乇賴丕卮賵賳 賯乇丕乇 賲蹖鈥屭屫臂屬�.
丨丕賱丕 丕氐賱蹖鈥屫臂屬� 乇丕賴 丿乇賲丕賳 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏� 丕蹖賳賴 讴賴 丕賮乇丕丿 亘丕賵乇賴丕卮賵賳 乇賵 毓賵囟 讴賳賳.
1- 卮賲丕 亘丕蹖丿 丕夭 賱丨丕馗 毓丕胤賮蹖 賲爻鬲賯賱 亘卮蹖賳. 丕賲丕 丕蹖賳 亘賴 丕蹖賳 賲毓賳丕 賳蹖爻鬲 讴賴 讴賱丕賸 丕夭 倬丿乇 賵 賲丕丿乇鬲賵賳 亘亘購乇蹖丿. 丕蹖賳 蹖毓賳蹖 丕蹖賳 讴賴 丕賮讴丕乇 賵 鬲乇噩蹖丨丕鬲 禺賵丿鬲賵賳 亘乇丕蹖 夭賳丿诏蹖 丿乇 丕賱賵蹖鬲 亘丕卮賴 賵 亘乇 丕爻丕爻 鬲賲丕蹖賱丕鬲 禺賵丿鬲賵賳 夭賳丿诏蹖 讴賳蹖賳. 賵 蹖丕丿鬲賵賳 亘丕卮賴 讴賴 賴賲蹖卮賴 亘丕 丨賮馗 丕丨鬲乇丕賲 禺賵丿鬲賵賳 亘丕卮蹖賳. 蹖毓賳蹖 亘丕蹖丿 亘鬲賵賳蹖賳 亘蹖賳 禺賵丕爻鬲賴鈥屬囏й� 禺賵丿鬲賵賳 賵 丿蹖诏乇丕賳 賵 丨乇賲鬲鈥屬囏й� 丕賳爻丕賳蹖 鬲賵丕夭賳 亘乇賯乇丕乇 讴賳蹖賳.
2- 诏丕賴蹖 丕卮讴丕賱蹖 賳丿丕乇賴 讴賴 禺賵丿禺賵丕賴 亘丕卮蹖賳 賵 亘賴 禺賵丕爻鬲賴鈥屬囏й� 丕胤乇丕賮蹖丕賳鬲賵賳 賳賴 亘诏蹖賳. 丿乇 賵丕賯毓 賵賯鬲蹖 卮賲丕 芦賴賲蹖卮賴禄 亘賴 禺丕胤乇 倬丿乇 賵 賲丕丿乇鬲賵賳 蹖丕 賴乇 讴爻 丿蹖诏賴 丕夭 禺賵丿鬲賵賳 賵 禺賵丕爻鬲賴鈥屬囏й� 禺賵丿鬲賵賳 亘诏匕乇蹖賳貙 蹖賴 乇賵夭蹖 賲蹖鈥屫必迟� 讴賴 丕夭 賴賲賴鈥屰� 丕賵賳 丌丿賲丕 亘丿鬲賵賳 賲蹖鈥屰屫ж�.
3- 賵賯鬲蹖 芦賳賴禄 賲蹖鈥屭屬� 胤亘賯 爻蹖爻鬲賲 賮讴乇蹖鈥屫й� 讴賴 鬲賵卮 乇卮丿 讴乇丿蹖賲貙 丿趩丕乇 毓匕丕亘 賵噩丿丕賳 賲蹖鈥屫篡屬�. 丕诏賴 卮賲丕 丕賵賳 芦賳賴禄 乇賵 亘丕 賮讴乇 賵 賲賳胤賯蹖 诏賮鬲蹖賳貙 爻毓蹖 讴賳蹖賳 讴賴 鬲賵蹖 丿丕賲 丕丨爻丕爻 诏賳丕賴 賳蹖賮鬲蹖賳. 趩賵賳 芦倬丕爻禺 賲孬亘鬲 丿丕丿賳 倬蹖鈥屫辟聚� 亘賴 禺賵丕爻鬲賴鈥屬囏й� 丿蹖诏乇丕賳 丿乇 丌賳鈥屬囏� 丨爻 禺賵丿禺賵丕賴蹖 乇丕 亘乇賲蹖鈥屫з嗂屫藏� 賵 丕賱亘鬲賴 賲丕 賴賲 亘丕亘鬲 亘賴 禺胤丕丕賳丿丕禺鬲賳 丌賳鈥屬囏� 賲賯氐乇蹖賲. 丿乇 丕睾賱亘 賲賵丕乇丿 讴丕乇賴丕蹖 丕囟丕賮蹖 賵 賱胤賮鈥屬囏й� 亘蹖鈥屬呝嗀� 丿蹖诏乇丕賳 乇丕 丕夭 噩丕蹖 胤亘蹖毓蹖鈥屫簇з� 禺丕乇噩 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀�.禄
4- 賵 丕蹖賳 讴賴 蹖丕丿 亘诏蹖乇蹖賳 讴賴 鬲賵蹖 亘丨孬鈥屬囏� 賴賲蹖卮賴 丌乇丕賲卮 禺賵丿鬲賵賳 乇賵 丨賮馗 讴賳蹖賳. 賵賯鬲蹖 丕夭 讴賵乇賴 丿乇 亘乇蹖賳 賵 亘賴 賴賲 亘乇蹖夭蹖賳 丿乇 賵丕賯毓 丿丕乇蹖賳 鬲賵蹖 夭賲蹖賳 胤乇賮 賲賯丕亘賱 亘丕夭蹖 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗃屬�. 賵賯鬲蹖 禺賵賳爻乇丿蹖鈥屫堎� 乇賵 丨賮馗 讴賳蹖賳 賵 亘丕 丌乇丕賲卮 噩賵丕亘 亘丿蹖賳貙 賴賲 鬲賳卮 賵 丿毓賵丕 讴賲鈥屫� 賲蹖鈥屫促� 賵 賴賲 丕蹖賳 卮賲丕 賴爻鬲蹖賳 讴賴 讴賳鬲乇賱 賲丕噩乇丕 乇賵 丿乇 丿爻鬲 丿丕乇蹖賳.
5- 亘丕蹖丿 蹖丕丿 亘诏蹖乇蹖賳 禺卮賲鈥屫堎� 乇賵 丕夭 乇丕賴 丿乇爻鬲 亘乇賵夭 亘丿蹖賳貙 亘乇丕蹖 鬲賲丕賲 丕鬲賮丕賯丕鬲蹖 讴賴 亘乇丕鬲賵賳 丕賮鬲丕丿賴 賳丕乇丕丨鬲 亘丕卮蹖賳 賵 爻賵诏賵丕乇蹖 讴賳蹖賳 丕賲丕 鬲賵蹖 賲乇丨賱賴鈥屰� 爻賵诏 賳賲賵賳蹖賳 趩賵賳 夭賳丿诏蹖 倬蹖卮 賲蹖鈥屫辟� 賵 賲賳鬲馗乇 卮賲丕 賳賲蹖鈥屬呝堎嗁�. 卮賲丕 亘丕蹖丿 亘賴 丕蹖賳 賳賯胤賴 丕夭 賵丕賯毓鈥屭必й屰� 亘乇爻蹖賳 讴賴 賴賲蹖賳賴 讴賴 賴爻鬲.
6- 丌禺乇蹖賳 讴丕乇 賴賲 丕蹖賳賴 讴賴 亘卮蹖賳蹖賳 蹖讴 亘丕乇 亘乇丕蹖 賴賲蹖卮賴 亘丕 倬丿乇 蹖丕 賲丕丿乇 爻賲蹖鈥屫堎� 丨乇賮 亘夭賳蹖賳. 丕蹖賳 亘蹖卮鬲乇 賵丕爻賴 丕賵賳 賯爻賲鬲 亘乇賵賳鈥屫臂屫槽� 禺卮賲 賮乇賵禺賵乇丿賴鈥屰� 賯囟蹖賴鈥屫池�. 丕賱亘鬲賴 賳賴 丕蹖賳 讴賴 丿毓賵丕 讴賳蹖賳貙 賮賯胤 丿乇 賲賵乇丿 乇賮鬲丕乇賴丕蹖蹖 讴賴 亘丕鬲賵賳 卮丿賴 賵 亘賴 丿賵乇 丕夭 毓丿丕賱鬲 賵 丕賳爻丕賳蹖鬲 亘賵丿賴 亘丕卮賵賳 丨乇賮 亘夭賳蹖賳. 賴賲賵賳 胤賵乇 讴賴 丕卮丕乇賴 讴乇丿賲 丕蹖賳 賮賯胤 亘乇丕蹖 乇賴丕卮丿賳 丿乇賵賳蹖 丕夭 賲丕噩乇丕爻鬲. 賵 丕夭 丕蹖賳 鬲賵賴賲 讴賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳鈥屫堎� 賲鬲丨賵賱 賲蹖鈥屫促� 蹖丕 賲蹖鈥屫堎嗃屬� 鬲睾蹖蹖乇卮賵賳 亘丿蹖賳貙 亘蹖丕蹖賳 亘蹖乇賵賳.
亘毓丿 丕夭 诏賮鬲诏賵蹖 賳賴丕蹖蹖貙 亘毓囟蹖鈥屬囏� 鬲氐賲蹖賲 賲蹖鈥屭屫辟� 乇賵丕亘胤鈥屫促堎� 乇賵 亘丕 賵丕賱丿蹖賳鈥屫促堎� 賲丨丿賵丿 讴賳賳 蹖丕 賯胤毓 乇丕亘胤賴 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 讴賴 丿乇 丕睾賱亘 賲賵丕乇丿 賴賲蹖卮诏蹖 賳蹖爻鬲. 丕賲丕 丕氐賱 丿丕爻鬲丕賳 丕蹖賳賴 讴賴 賮乇夭賳丿 亘鬲賵賳賴 丿乇 丕丿丕賲賴鈥屰� 賲爻蹖乇 夭賳丿诏蹖鈥屫� 丿蹖诏賴 賲賳鬲馗乇 鬲丕蹖蹖丿 蹖丕 毓丿賲 鬲丕蹖蹖丿 賵丕賱丿蹖賳鈥屫� 賳賲賵賳賴 賵 讴丕乇蹖 讴賴 亘賴 賳馗乇卮 丿乇爻鬲賴 乇賵 丕賳噩丕賲 亘丿賴. 讴賴 蹖毓賳蹖 賵丕乇丿 賲乇丨賱賴鈥屰� 禺賵丿亘丕賵乇蹖 賵 丕毓鬲賲丕丿 亘賴 禺賵蹖卮鬲賳 亘卮賴.
讴鬲丕亘 賲賮蹖丿蹖 亘賵丿 賵 賯丕亘賱 鬲賵氐蹖賴 亘賴 禺蹖賱蹖 丕夭 丌丿賲鈥屬囏й屰� 讴賴 賲蹖鈥屫促嗀ж驰屫�.
亘丕賵乇賴丕蹖 禺丿丕诏賵賳賴鈥屫й� 讴賴 鬲賵蹖 噩丕賲毓賴鈥屰� 賲丕 賳爻亘鬲 亘賴 倬丿乇 賵 賲丕丿乇 賵噩賵丿 丿丕乇賴 讴賴 丨鬲蹖 蹖讴 芦倬丿乇禄 乇賵 亘賴 禺丕胤乇 賯鬲賱 賮乇夭賳丿卮 賯氐丕氐 賳賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 亘蹖卮鬲乇 亘賴 賳馗乇 賲蹖鈥屫必迟� 讴賴 賳鬲蹖噩賴鈥屰� 鬲丕孬蹖乇 亘丕賵乇賴丕蹖 賲乇丿爻丕賱丕乇丕賳賴 亘乇 亘乇丿丕卮鬲鈥� 賮賯賴丕 丕夭 丿蹖賳 亘丕卮賴. 趩賵賳 诏丕賴蹖 丕夭 賱丨丕馗 丕賳爻丕賳蹖 丕蹖賳 亘丕賵乇賴丕 賯丕亘賱 賯亘賵賱 亘賴鈥屬嗀肛� 賳賲蹖鈥屫必迟嗀�.
倬丿乇 賵 賲丕丿乇 賴賲 賲蹖鈥屫堎嗁� 亘賴 賮乇夭賳丿丕賳 丌爻蹖亘 亘夭賳賳 賵 卮丕蹖丿 亘夭乇诏鈥屫臂屬� 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏й屰� 讴賴 丕賳爻丕賳 丿乇 讴賵丿讴蹖鈥屫� 亘賴 賵蹖跇賴 丕夭 賱丨丕馗 乇賵丕賳蹖 賲蹖鈥屫ㄛ屬嗁囏� 丕夭 胤乇賮 賵丕賱丿蹖賳鈥屫� 亘丕卮賴.
賴乇 倬丿乇 賵 賲丕丿乇蹖 賲蹖鈥屫堎嗁� 乇賮鬲丕乇賴丕蹖 爻賲蹖 丿丕卮鬲賴鈥屫ㄘж促� 賵賱蹖 乇賮鬲丕乇 睾賱胤 賵 禺卮賵賳鬲鈥屫ㄘж� 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賲蹖 丿丕卅賲蹖 賵 倬蹖賵爻鬲賴鈥屫ж池� 賵 亘趩賴鈥屬囏� 乇賵 丿趩丕乇 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏й� 賲丕賳丿诏丕乇 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁�.
讴鬲丕亘 亘賴 丿賵 亘禺卮 丕氐賱蹖 鬲賯爻蹖賲 卮丿賴. 亘禺卮 丕賵賱 亘賴 丕蹖賳 賲蹖鈥屬矩必ж操� 讴賴 趩賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳蹖 賲蹖鈥屫堎嗁� 丿乇 夭蹖乇诏乇賵賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賲蹖 賯乇丕乇 亘诏蹖乇賳丿 賵 丕蹖賳 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 趩賴 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏й屰� 亘賴 賮乇夭賳丿丕賳卮賵賳 賵丕乇丿 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁�.
賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賲蹖 乇賵 丿爻鬲賴鈥屫ㄙ嗀� 讴乇丿賴:
1- 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 禺丿丕诏賵賳賴 讴賴 丕蹖賳 丨爻 乇賵 丿丕乇賳丿 讴賴 丿乇 賴賲賴鈥屫з� 丿乇爻鬲 賲蹖鈥屭� 賵 賮乇夭賳丿卮賵賳 亘丕蹖丿 鬲丨鬲 賴乇 卮乇丕蹖胤蹖 丕夭卮賵賳 鬲亘蹖毓鬲 讴賳賴.
2- 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 亘蹖鈥屭┵佖й屫� 讴賴 賵馗丕蹖賮 倬丿乇蹖 蹖丕 賲丕丿乇蹖 禺賵丿卮賵賳 乇賵 亘賴 丿乇爻鬲蹖 丕賳噩丕賲 賳賲蹖鈥屫� 賵 亘丕乇 讴丕乇賴丕卮賵賳 乇賵 乇賵蹖 丿賵卮 賮乇夭賳丿丕賳卮賵賳 賲蹖鈥屫柏ж辟�.
3- 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賱胤賴鈥屫� 讴賴 鬲丨賲賱 賲爻鬲賯賱 卮丿賳 賵 賳丕賮乇賲丕賳蹖 賮乇夭賳丿丕賳卮賵賳 乇賵 賳丿丕乇賳.
4- 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 賲毓鬲丕丿貙 亘趩賴鈥屬囏� 乇賵 讴鬲讴 賲蹖鈥屫操嗁嗀� 丕賵賳丕 乇賵 賵丕丿丕乇 亘賴 鬲丕賲蹖賳 賲賵丕丿 賲賵乇丿 賳蹖丕夭卮賵賳 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 賵 丕夭 胤乇賮 丿蹖诏賴貙 禺丕賳賵丕丿賴 賵 亘賴 賵蹖跇賴 亘趩賴鈥屬囏� 亘乇丕蹖 丨賮馗 丌亘乇賵 賲噩亘賵乇賳丿 賴賲賴鈥屭嗃屫� 乇賵 賳丕丿蹖丿賴鈥屫ㄚ屫辟嗀� 爻讴賵鬲 讴賳賳 賵 賵丕賳賲賵丿 讴賳賳 讴賴 丕鬲賮丕賯蹖 賳蹖賮鬲丕丿賴.
5- 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 亘丿夭亘丕賳 讴賴 賲丿丕賲 亘賴 賮乇夭賳丿丕賳卮賵賳 鬲賵賴蹖賳 賵 丕賵賳丕 乇賵 鬲丨賯蹖乇 賵 爻乇夭賳卮 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁嗀�.
6- 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 讴鬲讴鈥屫操�.
7- 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 賲鬲噩丕賵夭.
亘趩賴鈥屬囏� 賯賵賴鈥屰� 鬲卮禺蹖氐 賳丿丕乇賳丿. 賵賯鬲蹖 亘丕卮賵賳 亘丿乇賮鬲丕乇蹖 賲蹖鈥屫促囏� 讴鬲讴鈥� 賲蹖鈥屫堌辟嗀� 鬲丨賯蹖乇 賲蹖鈥屫促� 蹖丕 賲噩亘賵乇賳丿 鬲賵蹖 爻賳 讴賲 亘丕乇 夭賳丿诏蹖 乇賵 亘賴 鬲賳賴丕蹖蹖 亘賴 丿賵卮 亘讴卮賳貙 賴蹖趩 賵賯鬲 丨爻 賳賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 讴賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳鈥屫促堎� 丕蹖乇丕丿蹖 丿丕乇賳丿 蹖丕 鬲賲丕賲 丕蹖賳 丕鬲賮丕賯丕鬲 鬲賯氐蹖乇 丕賵賳丕爻鬲貙 亘賱讴賴 賮讴乇 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 丕卮讴丕賱 丕夭 禺賵丿卮賵賳賴 賵 禺賵丿卮賵賳 乇賵 爻夭丕賵丕乇 丕蹖賳 乇賮鬲丕乇 賲蹖鈥屫堎嗁�. 丕蹖賳 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏� 亘丕毓孬 賲蹖鈥屫促� 亘趩賴鈥屬囏� 丿乇 亘夭乇诏爻丕賱蹖貙 丕毓鬲賲丕丿 亘賴 賳賮爻 讴賲蹖 丿丕卮鬲賴鈥屫ㄘж促嗀� 禺賵丿讴賲鈥屫ㄛ屬� 亘丕卮賳貙 亘賴 丿蹖诏乇丕賳 丕毓鬲賲丕丿 賳讴賳賳 賵 賳鬲賵賳賳 亘丕 丿蹖诏乇丕賳 乇丕亘胤賴 亘乇賯乇丕乇 讴賳賳 蹖丕 丕夭丿賵丕噩 讴賳賳.
賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丕夭 鬲賲丕賲 讴爻丕賳蹖 讴賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賲蹖 丿丕卮鬲賳 賲蹖鈥屫堌ж� 讴賴 丿爻鬲 丕夭 禺賵丿賲賯氐乇倬賳丿丕卮鬲賳 禺賵丿卮賵賳 亘乇丿丕乇賳 賵 亘丿賵賳賳 賲爻卅賵賱 鬲賲丕賲 丕鬲賮丕賯丕鬲蹖 讴賴 鬲賵蹖 讴賵丿讴蹖鈥屫促堎� 丕賮鬲丕丿賴 倬丿乇 賵 賲丕丿乇卮賵賳 賴爻鬲賳丿 賵 丕賵賳丕 賲賯氐乇 鬲賲丕賲 乇賮鬲丕乇賴丕蹖蹖 賴爻鬲賳 讴賴 亘丕卮賵賳 丿丕卮鬲賳.
賵 亘毓丿 亘禺卮 丿賵賲 讴鬲丕亘 卮乇賵毓 賲蹖鈥屫促�. 丕蹖賳 讴賴 賮乇夭賳丿丕賳 趩賴 噩賵乇蹖 丕夭 鬲丕孬蹖乇 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賲蹖 亘乇 夭賳丿诏蹖鈥屫促堎� 讴賲 讴賳賳 蹖丕 亘賴 胤賵乇 讴賱蹖 鬲賲丕賲 丕賵賳 乇賮鬲丕乇賴丕 乇賵 亘蹖鈥屫ж� 讴賳賳. 讴賴 禺賵卮亘禺鬲丕賳賴 丕賲讴丕賳鈥屬矩佰屫辟�.
丕賵賱 丕夭 賴賲賴 丕蹖賳 丕賱夭锟斤拷賲 賵噩賵丿 賳丿丕乇賴 讴賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 亘禺卮蹖丿賴鈥屫ㄘ促� 鬲丕 丕夭 夭蹖乇 亘丕乇 丌夭丕乇 賵 丕匕蹖鬲 乇賵丕賳蹖 乇賮鬲丕乇賴丕卮賵賳 乇賴丕 卮丿. 趩賵賳 亘禺卮蹖丿賳 賮乇丌蹖賳丿蹖鈥屫池� 讴賴 亘賴 鬲丿乇蹖噩 丕鬲賮丕賯 賲蹖鈥屫з佖�. 賵賯鬲蹖 讴賴 丿蹖诏賴 丕賵賳 乇賳噩鈥屬囏� 亘蹖鈥屫ж� 賲蹖鈥屫促�. 倬爻 鬲賵賯毓 蹖讴鈥屫簇ㄙ� 乇賴丕讴乇丿賳 賴賲賴鈥屭嗃屫� 乇賵 賳丿丕卮鬲賴鈥屫ㄘж篡屬�.
丕賲丕 丕蹖賳 乇賵 賴賲 亘丿賵賳蹖賳 讴賴 賯乇亘丕賳蹖 丕賵賱 讴蹖賳賴鈥屫堌槽� 賵 賮讴乇 讴乇丿賳 亘賴 丕賳鬲賯丕賲 禺賵丿 賯乇亘丕賳蹖鈥屫池�.
亘禺卮卮 亘賴 丕蹖賳 賲毓賳丕爻鬲 讴賴 賳诏丕賴鈥屬呝堎� 亘賴 噩賱賵 亘丕卮賴貙 亘蹖鈥屫屫з� 丕鬲賮丕賯丕鬲 诏匕卮鬲賴 亘卮蹖賲 賵 鬲賲丕賲 丕蹖賳鈥屬囏� 亘賴 賲乇賵乇 賵 丿乇 胤賵賱 賲爻蹖乇 丿乇賲丕賳 丕鬲賮丕賯 賲蹖鈥屫з佖�.
丿乇 賲乇丨賱賴鈥屰� 亘毓丿蹖 讴鬲丕亘 蹖賴 爻乇蹖 鬲爻鬲 丿丕乇賴 讴賴 亘乇乇爻蹖 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 讴賴 卮賲丕 趩賴鈥屬傌� 丕夭 賳馗乇 毓丕胤賮蹖 亘賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳鈥屫堎� 賵丕亘爻鬲賴 賴爻鬲蹖賳. 賵 胤亘賯 诏賮鬲賴鈥屰� 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丕诏乇趩賴 亘蹖卮鬲乇 丕賮乇丕丿 丕夭 賳鬲蹖噩賴鈥屸€屫� 鬲毓噩亘 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁嗀� 亘賴 賵蹖跇賴 丕賮乇丕丿蹖 讴賴 賲爻鬲賯賱 賴爻鬲賳丿 賵 爻賳 賵 爻丕賱蹖 丕夭卮賵賳 诏匕卮鬲賴 丕賲丕 賲丕 丿乇 賴乇 爻賳蹖 丕夭 賱丨丕馗 毓丕胤賮蹖 賵 乇賵丕賳蹖 倬蹖賵賳丿 蹖丕 亘賴鬲乇賴 亘诏賲 賵丕亘爻鬲诏蹖 毓賲蹖賯蹖 亘賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳鈥屬呝堎� 丿丕乇蹖賲. 賵 亘乇丕蹖 賴賲蹖賳 賴賲 賴爻鬲 讴賴 禺蹖賱蹖 鬲丨鬲 鬲丕孬蹖乇 乇賮鬲丕乇賴丕卮賵賳 賯乇丕乇 賲蹖鈥屭屫臂屬�.
丨丕賱丕 丕氐賱蹖鈥屫臂屬� 乇丕賴 丿乇賲丕賳 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏� 丕蹖賳賴 讴賴 丕賮乇丕丿 亘丕賵乇賴丕卮賵賳 乇賵 毓賵囟 讴賳賳.
1- 卮賲丕 亘丕蹖丿 丕夭 賱丨丕馗 毓丕胤賮蹖 賲爻鬲賯賱 亘卮蹖賳. 丕賲丕 丕蹖賳 亘賴 丕蹖賳 賲毓賳丕 賳蹖爻鬲 讴賴 讴賱丕賸 丕夭 倬丿乇 賵 賲丕丿乇鬲賵賳 亘亘購乇蹖丿. 丕蹖賳 蹖毓賳蹖 丕蹖賳 讴賴 丕賮讴丕乇 賵 鬲乇噩蹖丨丕鬲 禺賵丿鬲賵賳 亘乇丕蹖 夭賳丿诏蹖 丿乇 丕賱賵蹖鬲 亘丕卮賴 賵 亘乇 丕爻丕爻 鬲賲丕蹖賱丕鬲 禺賵丿鬲賵賳 夭賳丿诏蹖 讴賳蹖賳. 賵 蹖丕丿鬲賵賳 亘丕卮賴 讴賴 賴賲蹖卮賴 亘丕 丨賮馗 丕丨鬲乇丕賲 禺賵丿鬲賵賳 亘丕卮蹖賳. 蹖毓賳蹖 亘丕蹖丿 亘鬲賵賳蹖賳 亘蹖賳 禺賵丕爻鬲賴鈥屬囏й� 禺賵丿鬲賵賳 賵 丿蹖诏乇丕賳 賵 丨乇賲鬲鈥屬囏й� 丕賳爻丕賳蹖 鬲賵丕夭賳 亘乇賯乇丕乇 讴賳蹖賳.
2- 诏丕賴蹖 丕卮讴丕賱蹖 賳丿丕乇賴 讴賴 禺賵丿禺賵丕賴 亘丕卮蹖賳 賵 亘賴 禺賵丕爻鬲賴鈥屬囏й� 丕胤乇丕賮蹖丕賳鬲賵賳 賳賴 亘诏蹖賳. 丿乇 賵丕賯毓 賵賯鬲蹖 卮賲丕 芦賴賲蹖卮賴禄 亘賴 禺丕胤乇 倬丿乇 賵 賲丕丿乇鬲賵賳 蹖丕 賴乇 讴爻 丿蹖诏賴 丕夭 禺賵丿鬲賵賳 賵 禺賵丕爻鬲賴鈥屬囏й� 禺賵丿鬲賵賳 亘诏匕乇蹖賳貙 蹖賴 乇賵夭蹖 賲蹖鈥屫必迟� 讴賴 丕夭 賴賲賴鈥屰� 丕賵賳 丌丿賲丕 亘丿鬲賵賳 賲蹖鈥屰屫ж�.
3- 賵賯鬲蹖 芦賳賴禄 賲蹖鈥屭屬� 胤亘賯 爻蹖爻鬲賲 賮讴乇蹖鈥屫й� 讴賴 鬲賵卮 乇卮丿 讴乇丿蹖賲貙 丿趩丕乇 毓匕丕亘 賵噩丿丕賳 賲蹖鈥屫篡屬�. 丕诏賴 卮賲丕 丕賵賳 芦賳賴禄 乇賵 亘丕 賮讴乇 賵 賲賳胤賯蹖 诏賮鬲蹖賳貙 爻毓蹖 讴賳蹖賳 讴賴 鬲賵蹖 丿丕賲 丕丨爻丕爻 诏賳丕賴 賳蹖賮鬲蹖賳. 趩賵賳 芦倬丕爻禺 賲孬亘鬲 丿丕丿賳 倬蹖鈥屫辟聚� 亘賴 禺賵丕爻鬲賴鈥屬囏й� 丿蹖诏乇丕賳 丿乇 丌賳鈥屬囏� 丨爻 禺賵丿禺賵丕賴蹖 乇丕 亘乇賲蹖鈥屫з嗂屫藏� 賵 丕賱亘鬲賴 賲丕 賴賲 亘丕亘鬲 亘賴 禺胤丕丕賳丿丕禺鬲賳 丌賳鈥屬囏� 賲賯氐乇蹖賲. 丿乇 丕睾賱亘 賲賵丕乇丿 讴丕乇賴丕蹖 丕囟丕賮蹖 賵 賱胤賮鈥屬囏й� 亘蹖鈥屬呝嗀� 丿蹖诏乇丕賳 乇丕 丕夭 噩丕蹖 胤亘蹖毓蹖鈥屫簇з� 禺丕乇噩 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀�.禄
4- 賵 丕蹖賳 讴賴 蹖丕丿 亘诏蹖乇蹖賳 讴賴 鬲賵蹖 亘丨孬鈥屬囏� 賴賲蹖卮賴 丌乇丕賲卮 禺賵丿鬲賵賳 乇賵 丨賮馗 讴賳蹖賳. 賵賯鬲蹖 丕夭 讴賵乇賴 丿乇 亘乇蹖賳 賵 亘賴 賴賲 亘乇蹖夭蹖賳 丿乇 賵丕賯毓 丿丕乇蹖賳 鬲賵蹖 夭賲蹖賳 胤乇賮 賲賯丕亘賱 亘丕夭蹖 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗃屬�. 賵賯鬲蹖 禺賵賳爻乇丿蹖鈥屫堎� 乇賵 丨賮馗 讴賳蹖賳 賵 亘丕 丌乇丕賲卮 噩賵丕亘 亘丿蹖賳貙 賴賲 鬲賳卮 賵 丿毓賵丕 讴賲鈥屫� 賲蹖鈥屫促� 賵 賴賲 丕蹖賳 卮賲丕 賴爻鬲蹖賳 讴賴 讴賳鬲乇賱 賲丕噩乇丕 乇賵 丿乇 丿爻鬲 丿丕乇蹖賳.
5- 亘丕蹖丿 蹖丕丿 亘诏蹖乇蹖賳 禺卮賲鈥屫堎� 乇賵 丕夭 乇丕賴 丿乇爻鬲 亘乇賵夭 亘丿蹖賳貙 亘乇丕蹖 鬲賲丕賲 丕鬲賮丕賯丕鬲蹖 讴賴 亘乇丕鬲賵賳 丕賮鬲丕丿賴 賳丕乇丕丨鬲 亘丕卮蹖賳 賵 爻賵诏賵丕乇蹖 讴賳蹖賳 丕賲丕 鬲賵蹖 賲乇丨賱賴鈥屰� 爻賵诏 賳賲賵賳蹖賳 趩賵賳 夭賳丿诏蹖 倬蹖卮 賲蹖鈥屫辟� 賵 賲賳鬲馗乇 卮賲丕 賳賲蹖鈥屬呝堎嗁�. 卮賲丕 亘丕蹖丿 亘賴 丕蹖賳 賳賯胤賴 丕夭 賵丕賯毓鈥屭必й屰� 亘乇爻蹖賳 讴賴 賴賲蹖賳賴 讴賴 賴爻鬲.
6- 丌禺乇蹖賳 讴丕乇 賴賲 丕蹖賳賴 讴賴 亘卮蹖賳蹖賳 蹖讴 亘丕乇 亘乇丕蹖 賴賲蹖卮賴 亘丕 倬丿乇 蹖丕 賲丕丿乇 爻賲蹖鈥屫堎� 丨乇賮 亘夭賳蹖賳. 丕蹖賳 亘蹖卮鬲乇 賵丕爻賴 丕賵賳 賯爻賲鬲 亘乇賵賳鈥屫臂屫槽� 禺卮賲 賮乇賵禺賵乇丿賴鈥屰� 賯囟蹖賴鈥屫池�. 丕賱亘鬲賴 賳賴 丕蹖賳 讴賴 丿毓賵丕 讴賳蹖賳貙 賮賯胤 丿乇 賲賵乇丿 乇賮鬲丕乇賴丕蹖蹖 讴賴 亘丕鬲賵賳 卮丿賴 賵 亘賴 丿賵乇 丕夭 毓丿丕賱鬲 賵 丕賳爻丕賳蹖鬲 亘賵丿賴 亘丕卮賵賳 丨乇賮 亘夭賳蹖賳. 賴賲賵賳 胤賵乇 讴賴 丕卮丕乇賴 讴乇丿賲 丕蹖賳 賮賯胤 亘乇丕蹖 乇賴丕卮丿賳 丿乇賵賳蹖 丕夭 賲丕噩乇丕爻鬲. 賵 丕夭 丕蹖賳 鬲賵賴賲 讴賴 賵丕賱丿蹖賳鈥屫堎� 賲鬲丨賵賱 賲蹖鈥屫促� 蹖丕 賲蹖鈥屫堎嗃屬� 鬲睾蹖蹖乇卮賵賳 亘丿蹖賳貙 亘蹖丕蹖賳 亘蹖乇賵賳.
亘毓丿 丕夭 诏賮鬲诏賵蹖 賳賴丕蹖蹖貙 亘毓囟蹖鈥屬囏� 鬲氐賲蹖賲 賲蹖鈥屭屫辟� 乇賵丕亘胤鈥屫促堎� 乇賵 亘丕 賵丕賱丿蹖賳鈥屫促堎� 賲丨丿賵丿 讴賳賳 蹖丕 賯胤毓 乇丕亘胤賴 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗁� 讴賴 丿乇 丕睾賱亘 賲賵丕乇丿 賴賲蹖卮诏蹖 賳蹖爻鬲. 丕賲丕 丕氐賱 丿丕爻鬲丕賳 丕蹖賳賴 讴賴 賮乇夭賳丿 亘鬲賵賳賴 丿乇 丕丿丕賲賴鈥屰� 賲爻蹖乇 夭賳丿诏蹖鈥屫� 丿蹖诏賴 賲賳鬲馗乇 鬲丕蹖蹖丿 蹖丕 毓丿賲 鬲丕蹖蹖丿 賵丕賱丿蹖賳鈥屫� 賳賲賵賳賴 賵 讴丕乇蹖 讴賴 亘賴 賳馗乇卮 丿乇爻鬲賴 乇賵 丕賳噩丕賲 亘丿賴. 讴賴 蹖毓賳蹖 賵丕乇丿 賲乇丨賱賴鈥屰� 禺賵丿亘丕賵乇蹖 賵 丕毓鬲賲丕丿 亘賴 禺賵蹖卮鬲賳 亘卮賴.
讴鬲丕亘 賲賮蹖丿蹖 亘賵丿 賵 賯丕亘賱 鬲賵氐蹖賴 亘賴 禺蹖賱蹖 丕夭 丌丿賲鈥屬囏й屰� 讴賴 賲蹖鈥屫促嗀ж驰屫�.
May 9, 2017
tl;dr: This book is very, very, very dated and has many incorrect and harmful stereotypes about abuse victims, abusers, and gay men. However, this book is potentially useful for those who had abusive parents and are still coming to terms with it.
Ultimately, this is a useful book. It's a dated book, though, and many things need to be taken with a grain of salt. A hefty portion of salt. An entire pallet of salt.
In particular, the author's insistence on apologizing for an abuser's actions by bringing up the old chestnut, the inter-generational Cycle of Abuse. The myth (and it is a myth) that abused children will become child abusers. All that this does is instill a fear into an abused and fragile person that they'll wind up becoming their abuser. It's a harmful myth, one that's still chugging along despite the evidence against it.
The author is also convinced that we are all geysers of rage ready to go off. I find that suspect. It sounds like victim blaming.
Aside from that, the author also insists that all Father-son incest is because of the father's insatiable homosexual lust that has no other outlet.
This is clear cut homophobia.
And it's bullshit. Actually, the entire incest section is full of bullshit, and should be ignored entirely. Like this:
Beyond that, the author seems to have some idea that all sexual assault and rape are grounded in lust from the perpetrator. This isn't true. My stepdad didn't molest me because he had inescapable lust, he did it because he got off on power. But for whatever reason, the author is very quick to defend him and every other molester out there.
Now I'm caught in a crossroads. On one hand, it's potentially an eye opening book. I've already cut ties with my parents. I've already accepted that they're human garbage-- indeed, are they human? But, I also know it took years and years to accept this. It took so long to accept that my parents are abusive. With this book, maybe I'd have come to that conclusion sooner and saved myself some trouble. I'm angry about the misinformation inside this book. I'm thankful for the author's insistence that the parents are responsible for their actions. I'm sickened by the author's handling of child sexual assault.
Ultimately, this is a useful book. It's a dated book, though, and many things need to be taken with a grain of salt. A hefty portion of salt. An entire pallet of salt.
In particular, the author's insistence on apologizing for an abuser's actions by bringing up the old chestnut, the inter-generational Cycle of Abuse. The myth (and it is a myth) that abused children will become child abusers. All that this does is instill a fear into an abused and fragile person that they'll wind up becoming their abuser. It's a harmful myth, one that's still chugging along despite the evidence against it.
The author is also convinced that we are all geysers of rage ready to go off. I find that suspect. It sounds like victim blaming.
Aside from that, the author also insists that all Father-son incest is because of the father's insatiable homosexual lust that has no other outlet.
Father-son incest is far more common than most people realize. Such fathers usually appear to be heterosexual, but they are probably driven by strong homosexual impulses.
This is clear cut homophobia.
And it's bullshit. Actually, the entire incest section is full of bullshit, and should be ignored entirely. Like this:
A disproportionate number of incest victims, particularly women, allow themselves to become overweight as adults. The weight serves two important purposes for the victim: (1) she imagines it will keep men away from her, and (2) the body mass creates a false illusion of strength and power.
Beyond that, the author seems to have some idea that all sexual assault and rape are grounded in lust from the perpetrator. This isn't true. My stepdad didn't molest me because he had inescapable lust, he did it because he got off on power. But for whatever reason, the author is very quick to defend him and every other molester out there.
Now I'm caught in a crossroads. On one hand, it's potentially an eye opening book. I've already cut ties with my parents. I've already accepted that they're human garbage-- indeed, are they human? But, I also know it took years and years to accept this. It took so long to accept that my parents are abusive. With this book, maybe I'd have come to that conclusion sooner and saved myself some trouble. I'm angry about the misinformation inside this book. I'm thankful for the author's insistence that the parents are responsible for their actions. I'm sickened by the author's handling of child sexual assault.
February 3, 2018
Sorunlu -toksik- aile ortam谋nda yeti艧mi艧 herkese yard谋mc谋 olabilecek bir 莽al谋艧ma. Ailelerin 莽ocuklar谋n谋n hayatlar谋n谋 nas谋l mahvetti臒i dair bir莽ok vaka var ve bunlardan birka莽谋 size tan谋d谋k gelecektir. Vakalar谋n 莽枚z眉m s眉re莽leri ve bunlar谋n bir 艧ekilde 眉stesinden gelindi臒ini g枚rmek insan谋 rahatlat谋yor.
Kitab谋n odak noktas谋 ge莽mi艧in karanl谋k kuyular谋ndan kurtulup ileriye bakabilmek. 脰zellikle benim gibi ge莽mi艧le devaml谋 kavga halindeyseniz bu durum daha fazla zarar vermekten ba艧ka bir 艧ey yapm谋yor. Aile ortam谋nda tohumu at谋lan asabi, mutsuz, 眉mitsiz, depresif ki艧ili臒in karanl谋臒谋n谋 biraz daha derinle艧tiriyoruz sadece. Kimse elinde sihirli bir de臒nekle 莽谋k谋p hayat谋 nas谋l 莽arp谋k alg谋lad谋臒谋m谋z谋, ge莽mi艧e saplan谋p kalmayla hi莽bir 艧eyin 莽枚z眉me kavu艧amayaca臒谋n谋, 莽ocukluk yaralar谋n谋n art谋k kabuk ba臒lamas谋 gerekti臒ini g枚steremeyecek. Bir 艧eyleri de臒i艧tirmeye ba艧lamak yine ki艧inin kendisinden ba艧l谋yor. Profesyonel bir yard谋mla da 眉stesinden gelinemeyecek problem yok.
Herkese mutlu, huzurlu bir hayat dilerim.
Kitab谋n odak noktas谋 ge莽mi艧in karanl谋k kuyular谋ndan kurtulup ileriye bakabilmek. 脰zellikle benim gibi ge莽mi艧le devaml谋 kavga halindeyseniz bu durum daha fazla zarar vermekten ba艧ka bir 艧ey yapm谋yor. Aile ortam谋nda tohumu at谋lan asabi, mutsuz, 眉mitsiz, depresif ki艧ili臒in karanl谋臒谋n谋 biraz daha derinle艧tiriyoruz sadece. Kimse elinde sihirli bir de臒nekle 莽谋k谋p hayat谋 nas谋l 莽arp谋k alg谋lad谋臒谋m谋z谋, ge莽mi艧e saplan谋p kalmayla hi莽bir 艧eyin 莽枚z眉me kavu艧amayaca臒谋n谋, 莽ocukluk yaralar谋n谋n art谋k kabuk ba臒lamas谋 gerekti臒ini g枚steremeyecek. Bir 艧eyleri de臒i艧tirmeye ba艧lamak yine ki艧inin kendisinden ba艧l谋yor. Profesyonel bir yard谋mla da 眉stesinden gelinemeyecek problem yok.
Herkese mutlu, huzurlu bir hayat dilerim.
June 30, 2017
I think everyone should read this, regardless of what kind of relationship they had with their parents. It can be used to detect toxic people and relationships in life and also shows what kind of damage it can cause.
EDIT: 6/30/2017
This book gave me a new perspective about forgiveness and I still think a lot about this particular passage:
"I also believe that forgiveness is appropriate only when parents do something to earn it. Toxic parents, especially the more abusive ones, need to acknowledge what happened, take responsibility, and show a willingness to make amends. If you unilaterally absolve parents who continue to treat you badly, who deny much of your reality and feelings, and who continue to project blame onto you, you may seriously impede the emotional work you need to do. "
EDIT: 6/30/2017
This book gave me a new perspective about forgiveness and I still think a lot about this particular passage:
"I also believe that forgiveness is appropriate only when parents do something to earn it. Toxic parents, especially the more abusive ones, need to acknowledge what happened, take responsibility, and show a willingness to make amends. If you unilaterally absolve parents who continue to treat you badly, who deny much of your reality and feelings, and who continue to project blame onto you, you may seriously impede the emotional work you need to do. "
June 7, 2015
In my opinion, the single best book written on the subject of childhood abuse. I read this book originally fifteen+ years ago and it is still as powerful and as relevant today. The modern methodology for dealing with those who have been abused is much different than it was in days gone past, and Susan Forward makes a clear, concise and compelling point throughout about the strong feelings of guilt, of blame, and associated behaviours. How to deal with it, and how to reclaim your life.
This is a compassionate book but it is powerful and direct, and because of that I feel it is best read in conjunction with actually seeing a therapist. It can create strong visceral and cognitive reactions to past events. I believe talking with a therapist (who understands/works with childhood abuse) at the same time you read Toxic Parents can be a very powerful tool.
Actual patient histories and outcomes are also explored, which helps/allows the reader to relate more intimately with the book. The book is written in an easy to read style.
Toxic Parents is pretty much in two parts - the events, the reason(s) as to why people are where they are. Their classifications. Then ways of coping, healing and dealing with past abuse.
About to re-read it again.
This is a compassionate book but it is powerful and direct, and because of that I feel it is best read in conjunction with actually seeing a therapist. It can create strong visceral and cognitive reactions to past events. I believe talking with a therapist (who understands/works with childhood abuse) at the same time you read Toxic Parents can be a very powerful tool.
Actual patient histories and outcomes are also explored, which helps/allows the reader to relate more intimately with the book. The book is written in an easy to read style.
Toxic Parents is pretty much in two parts - the events, the reason(s) as to why people are where they are. Their classifications. Then ways of coping, healing and dealing with past abuse.
About to re-read it again.
November 4, 2016
Healing and insightful but painful to read.
Life's a bitch, I guess. No matter what you do, you'll still be on the wrong side, in the wrong life and in therapy.
Life's a bitch, I guess. No matter what you do, you'll still be on the wrong side, in the wrong life and in therapy.
June 2, 2022
Ilgai atid臈liojau 拧ios knygos skaitym膮 ir su savoti拧ka kalte j膮 galiausiai pa臈miau 寞 rankas. Juk tai lyg nebylus pripa啪inimas, kad ne viskas buvo gerai. Vis tik laikausi po啪i奴rio, kad reikia atraizgyti vaikyst臈s skaudulius ir i拧silaisvinus nuo j懦 gyventi toliau, o ne lyg u啪strigus寞 film膮 sukti sukti sukti, nuolat reflektuoti ir pastrigti savo jausm懦 labirinte.
Susan Forward skaitytojams puikiai pa啪寞stama knyg懦 "Emocinis 拧anta啪as", "Mamos nemokan膷ios myl臈ti", "Meil臈 kaip aps臈dimas" autor臈. 艩寞kart autor臈s d臈mesio centre - t臈v懦 vaik懦 toksi拧kas santykis.
Pasitikrinkite, ar j奴s懦 santykis su t臈vais buvo toksi拧kas. 艩tai kelios raudonos v臈liav臈l臈s, kurios signalizuoja apie tai, kad buvote toksi拧k懦 t臈v懦 vaikas.
Kai buvote ma啪i:
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Dabar, kai jau suaugote...
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- ar t臈vai kontroliuoja jus grasindami, kurstydami kalt臈s jausm膮, pasitelkdami pinigus?
- ar jau膷iate, kad ne寞tiksite savo t臈vams, kad ir k膮 bedarytum臈te?
Knygos autor臈 - ilgamet臋 patirt寞 turinti psicholog臈, d臈stytoja, grupini懦 terapij懦 u啪si臈mim懦 vadov臈. Jos eksperti拧kumas knygoje jau膷iamas ir ai拧kiai ap膷iuopiamas. Knyg膮 autor臈 suskirst臈 寞 dvi dalis. Pirmojoje aptariamas toksi拧k懦 t臈v懦 tipai, kokios prie啪astys i拧拧aukia tok寞 j懦 elges寞, kaip tai skaudina vaikus. Antr膮j膮 dal寞 pavadin膷iau i拧silaisvinimo dalimi. 膶ia autor臈 ai拧kina i拧silaisvinimo i拧 toksi拧ko t臈v懦 elgesio gniau啪t懦 svarb膮: kaip svarbu suvokti kas nutiko, priimti tai ir mok臈ti paleisti, kad gyventi toliau. Tikrai stipriai jau膷iasi itin didel臈 autor臈s patirtis ir 寞tikinamai skamba jos metodai.
Jei 寞 kelet膮 po啪ymi懦 apie toksi拧k膮 elges寞 su jumis kaip vaiku atsak臈te teigiamai, labai rekomenduoju paskaityti 拧i膮 knyg膮. Autor臈 ai拧kiai, i拧samiai ir smulkiai paai拧kins j奴s懦 i拧gyvenimus ir kaip su jais gyventi toliau.
Susan Forward skaitytojams puikiai pa啪寞stama knyg懦 "Emocinis 拧anta啪as", "Mamos nemokan膷ios myl臈ti", "Meil臈 kaip aps臈dimas" autor臈. 艩寞kart autor臈s d臈mesio centre - t臈v懦 vaik懦 toksi拧kas santykis.
Pasitikrinkite, ar j奴s懦 santykis su t臈vais buvo toksi拧kas. 艩tai kelios raudonos v臈liav臈l臈s, kurios signalizuoja apie tai, kad buvote toksi拧k懦 t臈v懦 vaikas.
Kai buvote ma啪i:
- ar t臈vai sak臈 jums, kad esate blogas ar nieko vertas?
- ar drausmindami jus naudojo fizin臋 j臈g膮?
- ar jums reik臈jo r奴pintis t臈v懦 problemomis?
- ar da啪nai bijodavote t臈v懦?
- ar t臈vai dar臈 k膮 nors, k膮 prival臈jote laikyti paslaptyje, tik tarp j奴s懦?
Dabar, kai jau suaugote...
- ar t臈vai vis dar elgiasi su jumis kaip su ma啪u vaiku?
- ar praleid臋 拧iek tiek laiko su t臈vais patiriate intensyvi懦 emocij懦 ar fizini懦 reakcij懦?
- ar t臈vai kontroliuoja jus grasindami, kurstydami kalt臈s jausm膮, pasitelkdami pinigus?
- ar jau膷iate, kad ne寞tiksite savo t臈vams, kad ir k膮 bedarytum臈te?
Knygos autor臈 - ilgamet臋 patirt寞 turinti psicholog臈, d臈stytoja, grupini懦 terapij懦 u啪si臈mim懦 vadov臈. Jos eksperti拧kumas knygoje jau膷iamas ir ai拧kiai ap膷iuopiamas. Knyg膮 autor臈 suskirst臈 寞 dvi dalis. Pirmojoje aptariamas toksi拧k懦 t臈v懦 tipai, kokios prie啪astys i拧拧aukia tok寞 j懦 elges寞, kaip tai skaudina vaikus. Antr膮j膮 dal寞 pavadin膷iau i拧silaisvinimo dalimi. 膶ia autor臈 ai拧kina i拧silaisvinimo i拧 toksi拧ko t臈v懦 elgesio gniau啪t懦 svarb膮: kaip svarbu suvokti kas nutiko, priimti tai ir mok臈ti paleisti, kad gyventi toliau. Tikrai stipriai jau膷iasi itin didel臈 autor臈s patirtis ir 寞tikinamai skamba jos metodai.
Jei 寞 kelet膮 po啪ymi懦 apie toksi拧k膮 elges寞 su jumis kaip vaiku atsak臈te teigiamai, labai rekomenduoju paskaityti 拧i膮 knyg膮. Autor臈 ai拧kiai, i拧samiai ir smulkiai paai拧kins j奴s懦 i拧gyvenimus ir kaip su jais gyventi toliau.
May 26, 2009
wow! this book really did help me to recognize how certain things affect/affected me throughout my childhood, and to the present. and i really like the first rule "you do not have to forgive." if you truly have not recovered from a parents toxic ways, you do not have to forgive them, cuz forgiving the toxic parent w/o addressing how they harmed/ affect(ed) you is like just sweeping the issue under the rug.. so not healthy. i highly recommend this book to anyone who had or has to deal with toxic parents ( drunks, addicts, verbal abusers, neglecters, etc.). it was very helpful and eye opening!
March 17, 2021
賳蹖賲賴 丕賵賱 讴鬲丕亘 亘賳馗乇賲 噩匕丕亘鬲乇 亘賵丿 賵 賴賲賴鈥屸€屭屫臂� 亘蹖卮鬲乇蹖 丿丕卮鬲
亘乇丕蹖 賲賳 賴乇趩蹖 噩賱賵鬲乇 乇賮鬲 禺賵賳丿賳卮 爻禺鬲鈥屫� 卮丿
亘乇丕蹖 賲賳 賴乇趩蹖 噩賱賵鬲乇 乇賮鬲 禺賵賳丿賳卮 爻禺鬲鈥屫� 卮丿
September 16, 2019
"Bug眉n psikoloji alan谋nda okudu臒um en faydal谋 kitaptan bahsetmek istiyorum: Zor Bir Ailede B眉y眉mek. Kitap iki temel k谋s谋mdan olu艧uyor. Birincisi zor ailelerin (kitapta bahsedilen ad谋yla toksik - zehirli ebeveynlerin) tan谋m谋 ve ya艧att谋klar谋 travma 枚rnekleri, ikincisinde ise bunlar谋n etkilerinden kurtulmak i莽in neler yap谋labilece臒i anlat谋l谋yor. Bahsedilen aile tipleri: M眉kemmeliyet莽iler, yetersizler, kontrolc眉ler, alkolikler, duygusal tacizciler, fiziksel tacizciler ve son olarak cinsel tacizciler. Ba艧l谋klardan da anla艧谋laca臒谋 gibi okumas谋 kolay olmayan, 枚zellikle bunlar谋 deneyimlemi艧 ki艧ilere a臒谋r gelebilecek konular i艧leniyor. Yazar bu sebeple olabildi臒ince dikkatli davranarak ne 莽ok 眉st眉 kapal谋 ne de 莽ok detayc谋 枚rnekler vermi艧. 陌lk b枚l眉mde isimlerini de臒i艧tirerek kendi hastalar谋ndan verdi臒i kesitler ile bu tiplerdeki anne - babalar谋n yeti艧kin olmu艧 bireye olan etkisini a莽谋klam谋艧. Kolay bir okuma de臒il, 莽ok ama 莽ok mahrem konulara giriyor. Siz hi莽birini ya艧amam谋艧 olsan谋z dahi bir yerlerde b枚yle 艧eylerin ger莽ekle艧ti臒ini bilmek kan谋n谋z谋 donduruyor. Benzeri bir duyguyu en son K枚pek Gibi B眉y眉t眉lm眉艧 脟ocuk'u okurken ya艧am谋艧t谋m. Travmalara dair okumalar yapmak 莽ok 枚臒retici olsa da bir o kadar da cesaret istiyor. S眉rekli hislerinden ka莽an ama bir 艧ekilde iyile艧mek isteyen biriyseniz Zor Bir Ailede B眉y眉mek karars谋z ad谋mlarda ilerledi臒iniz yolu ayd谋nlatacakt谋r. Ama nas谋l hissettirece臒ini az 莽ok tahmin ediyorsunuzdur, kitaba bunlara haz谋rl谋kl谋 bir 艧ekilde ba艧laman谋z谋 枚neriyorum." Yaz谋n谋n devam谋 i莽in:
脟ocukken ailesi taraf谋ndan istismara u臒ram谋艧 birey nas谋l iyile艧ir? Bu konuda ayd谋nlat谋c谋 bir kitap olan Zor Bir Ailede B眉y眉mek hakk谋nda yazd谋m
脟ocukken ailesi taraf谋ndan istismara u臒ram谋艧 birey nas谋l iyile艧ir? Bu konuda ayd谋nlat谋c谋 bir kitap olan Zor Bir Ailede B眉y眉mek hakk谋nda yazd谋m
June 14, 2019
亘乇 賴蹖趩 讴爻鈥屬举堌篡屫� 賳蹖爻鬲 讴賴 丨爻丕爻 鬲乇蹖賳 丿賵乇丕賳 夭賳丿诏蹖 賴乇 賮乇丿貙讴賵丿讴蹖 丕爻鬲 賵 爻丕夭賳丿賴 丿乇賵賳 賲丕蹖賴 賵 卮禺氐蹖鬲 賴乇賮乇丿 亘丕 丿禺賱鈥屬� 鬲氐乇賮 亘丕賱丕蹖蹖 亘丕 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 卮讴賱 賲蹖诏蹖乇丿.
丌蹖丕 亘賴 丕賳丿丕夭賴 丕蹖 讴賴 蹖讴 賮乇丿 亘乇丕蹖 乇爻蹖丿賳 亘賴 噩丕蹖诏丕賴 毓賱賲蹖 賵蹖丕 丕噩鬲賲丕毓蹖 鬲賱丕卮 賲蹖讴賳丿貙丌賲賵夭賴 賴丕蹖蹖 亘乇丕蹖 倬丿乇 卮丿賳 賵 蹖丕賲丕丿乇 卮丿賳 賲蹖亘蹖賳丿責
丌蹖丕 蹖讴 夭賵噩 丿乇丨丕賱鬲 賲毓賲賵賱蹖貙賲蹖 鬲賵丕賳賳丿 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 禺賵亘蹖 亘丕卮賳丿責
賴乇 丌賳趩賴 乇丕 讴賴 賲丕 賲賴丕乇鬲 賴丕蹖 賵丕賱丿蹖賳蹖 禺胤丕亘 賲蹖 讴賳蹖賲貙趩蹖夭蹖 噩夭 丕丨爻丕爻 賵 亘丕賵乇賴丕蹖 亘賴 丕乇孬 乇爻蹖丿賴 丕夭 賳蹖丕讴丕賳 賳蹖爻鬲.
爻賵夭丕賳 賮賵乇賵丕乇丿 丿乇 讴鬲丕亘 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賲蹖貙亘丕鬲賵噩賴 亘賴 爻丕亘賯賴 禺賵丿 丿乇 乇賵丕賳 丿乇賲丕賳蹖 賮乇夭賳丿丕賳 丿丕乇丕蹖 賵丕賱丿 賵 蹖丕 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賲蹖 賴爻鬲賳丿貙丿丕丿賴 賴丕 賵 賳鬲丕蹖噩 丌賳 乇丕 賲賵卮讴丕賮丕賳賴 鬲賵囟蹖丨 賲蹖 丿賴丿.
賵丕賱丿蹖賳 禺丿丕诏賵賳賴 讴賴 丕賮爻丕賳賴 蹖 賵丕賱丿蹖賳蹖 亘蹖 毓蹖亘 賵 賳賯氐 乇丕 亘乇丿賵卮 禺賵丿 丨賲賱 賲蹖讴賳賳丿貙賵丕賱丿蹖賳蹖 讴賴 爻賱胤賴 噩賵 賴爻鬲賳丿 亘賴 丕賳丿丕夭賴 丕蹖 讴賴 賮乇夭賳丿丕賳卮丕賳 讴賴 賲賲讴賳 丕爻鬲 禺丕賳賵丕丿賴 丕蹖 亘乇丕蹖 禺賵丿 鬲卮讴蹖賱 丿丕丿賳丿 乇丕 丕夭 丿賵乇 賵 賳夭丿蹖讴 夭蹖乇 賳馗乇 丿丕乇賳丿 賵 丕噩丕夭賴 丕爻鬲賯賱丕賱 亘賴 丌賳賴丕 賳賲蹖 丿賴賳丿. 賵丕賱丿賷賳賶 亘蹖 讴賮丕蹖鬲 丿乇 夭賳丿诏蹖 賵 鬲乇亘蹖鬲 貙賵丕賱丿蹖賳蹖 賲毓鬲丕丿 亘賴 賲賵丕丿 賲禺丿乇 賵 丕賱讴賱貙賵丕賱丿蹖賳蹖 讴賴 亘丕 诏賮鬲丕乇卮丕賳 夭禺賲 賴丕蹖 亘夭乇诏 賵 毓賲蹖賯蹖 亘乇 乇賵丨 賮乇夭賳丿 禺賵丿亘賴 噩丕賲蹖诏匕丕乇賳丿 賵蹖丕 亘丕 讴鬲讴 夭丿賳 卮禺氐蹖鬲 賵 夭賳丿诏蹖 丕賵 乇丕 亘賴 亘丕丿 賴賵丕 賲蹖 爻倬丕乇賳丿 賵 蹖丕 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 賲鬲噩丕賵夭 亘丕 賴乇 賳賵毓 賵 卮丿鬲 !
丿乇 亘禺卮 丕賵賱 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丿乇 讴賳丕乇 鬲賵囟蹖丨丕鬲 賴乇 鬲蹖倬 丕夭 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賲蹖 貙蹖讴 蹖丕趩賳丿 讴蹖爻 丿乇賲丕賳蹖 讴賴 亘丕 賲賵囟賵毓 賲乇鬲亘胤 丕爻鬲貙鬲賵囟蹖丨 賲蹖 丿賴丿.
丿乇 亘禺卮 丿賵賲貙丌賲賵夭賴 賴丕蹖蹖 乇丕 賮乇丕 賲蹖诏蹖乇蹖賲 讴賴 乇丕賴 賴丕蹖 丿乇賲丕賳 貙乇賵亘賴 乇賵 卮丿賳 賵 禺賳孬蹖 爻丕夭蹖 丕蹖賳 丕乇鬲亘丕胤丕鬲 爻賲蹖 丕爻鬲 讴賴 鬲鬲賲賴 蹖 丌賳 鬲丨鬲 毓賳賵丕賳 芦丕夭 鬲賵賴賲 鬲睾蹖蹖乇 賵丕賱丿蹖賳鬲丕賳 亘蹖乇賵賳 亘蹖丕蹖蹖丿禄 丕爻鬲.
丌蹖丕 亘賴 丕賳丿丕夭賴 丕蹖 讴賴 蹖讴 賮乇丿 亘乇丕蹖 乇爻蹖丿賳 亘賴 噩丕蹖诏丕賴 毓賱賲蹖 賵蹖丕 丕噩鬲賲丕毓蹖 鬲賱丕卮 賲蹖讴賳丿貙丌賲賵夭賴 賴丕蹖蹖 亘乇丕蹖 倬丿乇 卮丿賳 賵 蹖丕賲丕丿乇 卮丿賳 賲蹖亘蹖賳丿責
丌蹖丕 蹖讴 夭賵噩 丿乇丨丕賱鬲 賲毓賲賵賱蹖貙賲蹖 鬲賵丕賳賳丿 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 禺賵亘蹖 亘丕卮賳丿責
賴乇 丌賳趩賴 乇丕 讴賴 賲丕 賲賴丕乇鬲 賴丕蹖 賵丕賱丿蹖賳蹖 禺胤丕亘 賲蹖 讴賳蹖賲貙趩蹖夭蹖 噩夭 丕丨爻丕爻 賵 亘丕賵乇賴丕蹖 亘賴 丕乇孬 乇爻蹖丿賴 丕夭 賳蹖丕讴丕賳 賳蹖爻鬲.
爻賵夭丕賳 賮賵乇賵丕乇丿 丿乇 讴鬲丕亘 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賲蹖貙亘丕鬲賵噩賴 亘賴 爻丕亘賯賴 禺賵丿 丿乇 乇賵丕賳 丿乇賲丕賳蹖 賮乇夭賳丿丕賳 丿丕乇丕蹖 賵丕賱丿 賵 蹖丕 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賲蹖 賴爻鬲賳丿貙丿丕丿賴 賴丕 賵 賳鬲丕蹖噩 丌賳 乇丕 賲賵卮讴丕賮丕賳賴 鬲賵囟蹖丨 賲蹖 丿賴丿.
賵丕賱丿蹖賳 禺丿丕诏賵賳賴 讴賴 丕賮爻丕賳賴 蹖 賵丕賱丿蹖賳蹖 亘蹖 毓蹖亘 賵 賳賯氐 乇丕 亘乇丿賵卮 禺賵丿 丨賲賱 賲蹖讴賳賳丿貙賵丕賱丿蹖賳蹖 讴賴 爻賱胤賴 噩賵 賴爻鬲賳丿 亘賴 丕賳丿丕夭賴 丕蹖 讴賴 賮乇夭賳丿丕賳卮丕賳 讴賴 賲賲讴賳 丕爻鬲 禺丕賳賵丕丿賴 丕蹖 亘乇丕蹖 禺賵丿 鬲卮讴蹖賱 丿丕丿賳丿 乇丕 丕夭 丿賵乇 賵 賳夭丿蹖讴 夭蹖乇 賳馗乇 丿丕乇賳丿 賵 丕噩丕夭賴 丕爻鬲賯賱丕賱 亘賴 丌賳賴丕 賳賲蹖 丿賴賳丿. 賵丕賱丿賷賳賶 亘蹖 讴賮丕蹖鬲 丿乇 夭賳丿诏蹖 賵 鬲乇亘蹖鬲 貙賵丕賱丿蹖賳蹖 賲毓鬲丕丿 亘賴 賲賵丕丿 賲禺丿乇 賵 丕賱讴賱貙賵丕賱丿蹖賳蹖 讴賴 亘丕 诏賮鬲丕乇卮丕賳 夭禺賲 賴丕蹖 亘夭乇诏 賵 毓賲蹖賯蹖 亘乇 乇賵丨 賮乇夭賳丿 禺賵丿亘賴 噩丕賲蹖诏匕丕乇賳丿 賵蹖丕 亘丕 讴鬲讴 夭丿賳 卮禺氐蹖鬲 賵 夭賳丿诏蹖 丕賵 乇丕 亘賴 亘丕丿 賴賵丕 賲蹖 爻倬丕乇賳丿 賵 蹖丕 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 賲鬲噩丕賵夭 亘丕 賴乇 賳賵毓 賵 卮丿鬲 !
丿乇 亘禺卮 丕賵賱 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丿乇 讴賳丕乇 鬲賵囟蹖丨丕鬲 賴乇 鬲蹖倬 丕夭 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 爻賲蹖 貙蹖讴 蹖丕趩賳丿 讴蹖爻 丿乇賲丕賳蹖 讴賴 亘丕 賲賵囟賵毓 賲乇鬲亘胤 丕爻鬲貙鬲賵囟蹖丨 賲蹖 丿賴丿.
丿乇 亘禺卮 丿賵賲貙丌賲賵夭賴 賴丕蹖蹖 乇丕 賮乇丕 賲蹖诏蹖乇蹖賲 讴賴 乇丕賴 賴丕蹖 丿乇賲丕賳 貙乇賵亘賴 乇賵 卮丿賳 賵 禺賳孬蹖 爻丕夭蹖 丕蹖賳 丕乇鬲亘丕胤丕鬲 爻賲蹖 丕爻鬲 讴賴 鬲鬲賲賴 蹖 丌賳 鬲丨鬲 毓賳賵丕賳 芦丕夭 鬲賵賴賲 鬲睾蹖蹖乇 賵丕賱丿蹖賳鬲丕賳 亘蹖乇賵賳 亘蹖丕蹖蹖丿禄 丕爻鬲.
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