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چگونه تغییر کنیم: علم رسیدن از آنچه هستیم به آنچه میخواهی� باشیم
هر سال حجم عظیمی از کتاب‌ها� خودیاری نوشته می‌شون� تا راه‌و‌چا� تغییرکردن را توضیح دهند، کتاب‌های� که معمولاً به دستورالعمل‌های� تقریباً مشابه می‌رسن�: اهداف بزرگی برای خودت ترسیم کن، آن‌ه� را به گام‌ها� کوچک‌ت� تقسیم کن، برنامه‌ریـــزی کن، خوش‌بیـــن باش و از نرم‌افـــزارهــای یادآوری استفــاده کـــن. اما چـــرا همچنان تغییر نمی‌کنیــم؟ چرا ایـــن راهکارها به شکست می‌انجامد�
کیتی میلکمن، استاد علوم رفتــــاری در دانشگاه پنسیلوانیــا، معتقـــد است باید، به‌جـــای توصیه‌ها� کلی، به موانع درونی خودمان برای تغییر بیندیشیم و مطابق الگویی علمی راه خاص خود را پیدا کنیم. او در این کتاب، بر پایۀ تحقیق گسترده‌ا� که طی یک دهه به انجام رسانده است، موانع اصلی تغییر را بررسی می‌کن� و مجموعهٔ متنوعی از راهکارهای غلبه بر آن‌ه� را ارائه می‌ده�.
* کتاب حاضر با همین عنوان و با ترجمه سارابانو امام و یاسمن عرفانی‌فر� توسط کوله‌پشت� در همین سال فیپا گرفته است.
کیتی میلکمن، استاد علوم رفتــــاری در دانشگاه پنسیلوانیــا، معتقـــد است باید، به‌جـــای توصیه‌ها� کلی، به موانع درونی خودمان برای تغییر بیندیشیم و مطابق الگویی علمی راه خاص خود را پیدا کنیم. او در این کتاب، بر پایۀ تحقیق گسترده‌ا� که طی یک دهه به انجام رسانده است، موانع اصلی تغییر را بررسی می‌کن� و مجموعهٔ متنوعی از راهکارهای غلبه بر آن‌ه� را ارائه می‌ده�.
* کتاب حاضر با همین عنوان و با ترجمه سارابانو امام و یاسمن عرفانی‌فر� توسط کوله‌پشت� در همین سال فیپا گرفته است.
208 pages, Paperback
First published May 4, 2021
1,828 people are currently reading
15.2k people want to read
About the author
Katy Milkman
3books100followersKaty Milkman is the James G. Dinan Professor at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, host of Charles Schwab’s popular behavioral economics podcast Choiceology, and the former president of the international Society for Judgment and Decision Making. She is also the co-founder and co-director of the Behavior Change for Good Initiative, a research center with the mission of advancing the science of lasting behavior change. Over the course of her career, Katy has worked with or advised dozens of organizations on how to spur positive change, including Google, the White House, Walmart and the U.S. Department of Defense. She has published over 60 papers in leading academic journals such as Nature, The Journal of Finance, and The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences and is the author of the international bestselling book How to Change: The Science of Getting From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, which was named one of the eight best books for healthy living in 2021 by the New York Times. Katy was also recently named a Top 10 innovator shaping the future of health by Fortune Magazine and won Penn’s highest teaching award, the Provost’s Lindback Award for Excellence in Teaching, in 2022. She writes frequently about behavioral science for major media outlets such as The Washington Post, The New York Times, CNN and The Economist.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 676 reviews
June 25, 2021
One of those books that can be summarized in 3 pages.
Key points for myself:
1. Easier to pursue change after a fresh start (bday, move, new year, etc)
2. Combine temptation with meaningful activity (e.g. run and listen to podcasts)
3. Gamification to make boring more engaging (e.g. symbolic rewards). But need to "buy in" and not feel like it's "imposed"
4. Commitment devices not to procrastinate (e.g. lock money in savings account, impose significant tangible penalties, eat from smaller plate)
5. Smaller but more frequent commitments work better
6. Timely reminders, planning, cue-based plans that are very specific ("when xx happens, I'll do xx") help to remember and persevere
7. Laziness=path of least resistance; default=do nothing. Change it so that default becomes sth useful (e.g. setting homepage to news, climb stairs, walk to work, build new routines)
8. Streaks matter. Don't stop. Or agree to do 5 trainings a week rather than 7, i.e. allow "emergency" passes
9. Self doubt is a killer. Might prevent you from setting the goal in the first place
10. Attribute butterflies in stomach to excitement rather than anxiety when speaking publicly
11. Believing that people expect you to do well on test can increase your score
12. Surround yourself with people who support your growth and have similar goals. Form advice clubs to boost confidence
13. Low achievers are harmful
14. Giving advice helps us act because we feel hypocritical if we dont do things we advised others to do
15. Deliberately watch peers who managed to achieve the goal and copy their methods
Key points for myself:
1. Easier to pursue change after a fresh start (bday, move, new year, etc)
2. Combine temptation with meaningful activity (e.g. run and listen to podcasts)
3. Gamification to make boring more engaging (e.g. symbolic rewards). But need to "buy in" and not feel like it's "imposed"
4. Commitment devices not to procrastinate (e.g. lock money in savings account, impose significant tangible penalties, eat from smaller plate)
5. Smaller but more frequent commitments work better
6. Timely reminders, planning, cue-based plans that are very specific ("when xx happens, I'll do xx") help to remember and persevere
7. Laziness=path of least resistance; default=do nothing. Change it so that default becomes sth useful (e.g. setting homepage to news, climb stairs, walk to work, build new routines)
8. Streaks matter. Don't stop. Or agree to do 5 trainings a week rather than 7, i.e. allow "emergency" passes
9. Self doubt is a killer. Might prevent you from setting the goal in the first place
10. Attribute butterflies in stomach to excitement rather than anxiety when speaking publicly
11. Believing that people expect you to do well on test can increase your score
12. Surround yourself with people who support your growth and have similar goals. Form advice clubs to boost confidence
13. Low achievers are harmful
14. Giving advice helps us act because we feel hypocritical if we dont do things we advised others to do
15. Deliberately watch peers who managed to achieve the goal and copy their methods
May 9, 2021
After wrestling unsuccessfully with innumerable resolutions � ranging from New Year pledges to audacious proclamations � to kick the habit of smoking, I finally decided to change tack. My father’s 80th birthday would be the defining “fresh start effect.� As an indelible gift that would both warm the cockles of his heart, and improve my health, I resolved to go cold turkey beginning that momentous occasion. At the time of this review, it has been a full three years since I last smoked a cigarette. Katy Milkman, the American economist who is the James G. Dinan Professor at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, in her brilliant best seller, “How To Change�, sets out some compelling and thought provoking insights for ushering in lasting and positive change in our living. Replete with empirical research findings and corroborated outcomes, “How To Change� is an indispensable guide to anyone looking for that elusive change in her personal life or professional career.
Milkman sets the context for her book with a thrilling story revolving around legendary tennis player Andre Agassi and his revolutionary coach Brad Gilbert. Gilbert brought in an engineer’s approach to embellish the quality of Agassi’s play. “An engineer can’t design a successful structure without first carefully accounting for the forces of opposition (say, wind resistance or gravity). So engineers always attempt to solve problems by first identifying the obstacles to success.� Gilbert thus steered Agassi’s focus from trying to slam winners off every shot to maintaining a focus on his opponent’s shortcomings. This tweak resulted in an incredible transformation in the game of Agassi and led to his being acknowledged as one of the greatest of his generation.
Milkman, incidentally an engineer herself, employs the same philosophy to demonstrate how we all can make simple adjustments to our routines so as to get the best outcomes from our efforts. For example, Milkman’s research indicated that building “moments engine� � a concept that identifies when the company’s employees are likely to be open to change (say, after a promotion or a move to a new office), provides a much needed ‘nudge� for instigating positive initiatives that would spur the employees into action, such as getting them to save more or receive their flu vaccines.
As exemplified in one of the greatest psychological experiment involving little kids and marshmallows, Austrian born American psychologist, Walter Mischel demonstrated that impulsivity or present bias � a tendency to favour immediate gratification over long term rewards can be detrimental to positive change. Milkman offers a novel and fun filled method to avoid falling into the trap of such instant temptation. Her solution � ‘temptation bundling�. One can allow oneself to indulge in one’s guilty pleasures, but only when one is pursuing a virtuous or valuable activity that one usually tends to procrastinate. For example, listening to your favourite audio book only while on the treadmill or binge watching Netflix only while doing the laundry. Temptation building can also be combined with “gamification� a tactic employed by companies in transforming something that is not a game feel more engaged and less repetitious by adding game like features, such as symbolic rewards. For example, a badge of ‘featured reviewer� and ‘auto approved� reviewer on the Net Galley website spurs readers to post more and more reviews thereby helping emerging authors as well.
One of my favourite chapters in the book is the one on procrastination. An inveterate procrastinator, I always put off till next week what can be done today. Milkman tackles this pernicious attribute of procrastination by offering a few practical and easily implementable tools. Inspired by the works of behavioural and other economists such as Robert Strotz, Thomas Schelling and Richard Thaler, Milkman urges us to “anticipate temptation and create constraints�. These constraints termed “commitment devices� break the cycle of procrastination. Creating a “locked� savings bank account (an account where no withdrawal is permissible until a certain level of savings is achieved) or putting money on the line that one is forced to forfeit after every infraction (for example, every cigarette smoked after taking a pledge to quit smoking will result in the depositing of a pre agreed sum of money towards a charity, preferably one which the voter does not subscribe to), will spur an individual towards tightening the strings in so far resolutions are concerned. Taking “soft pledges� also act as a psychological boost in Preventing procrastination as the one taking the pledge and making it public would not want to be seen as one who does not honour his own words.
Two of the most important revelations gleaned by me in a personal capacity after reading Milkman’s engrossing book, have been those relating to laziness and the power of advice. A very power example illustrates the potential for ‘harnessing� our inherent default setting of laziness to foster positive outcomes. “During a routine system upgrade, an IT consultant working on the software that Penn Medicine physicians used to send prescriptions to pharmacies made a small change to the user interface: he added a new checkbox to the system. From then on, unless a physician checked that box, whatever drug they prescribed would be sent to the pharmacy as a generic. Since doctors, like the rest of us, tend to be a little lazy, they only rarely checked the box: just 2 percent of the time. As a result, Penn’s generic prescription rate shot up to 98 percent.� Penn Medicine which was once notorious for prescribing branded medicines 75 percent of the time thereby contributing to ballooning costs and insurer angst, with just a single tweak became the most avowed prescriber of generic medication.
Similarly, asking a person who is going through tough times to ‘render� advice to another who might be going through a similar adverse phase improves decision making skills immensely. “This idea—that giving advice can be more important to your success than receiving it—was echoed by the legendary drummer Mike Mangini when he appeared on my podcast in 2019. He talked about how he developed the confidence he needed to rise to stardom. Now the lead drummer for world-famous heavy metal band Dream Theater, Mike took a path to the top that was anything but straight. He spent the 1980s as a software engineer, practicing incessantly on the drums at night and on the weekends, daydreaming of a big career in music with little hope of achieving his goal. Then something changed. When other drummers in a shared practice space unexpectedly began knocking on Mike’s door and asking him to give them lessons, their requests gave Mike a newfound confidence. If so many people thought he had a special talent, maybe he did. Mike quit his day job and devoted himself full time to drumming. Today, he’s one of the best-known drummers in the business. He attributes his success, in no small part, to being asked to give other people advice.�
“How To Change� is an extremely engrossing book that spurs its readers to action. What sets it apart from other books of its genre is the element of simplicity, practicality and most critically, implementable potentiality. I am sure innumerable lives would be transformed for the good, as a result of a serious reading of this book. “Change� is imminent!
Milkman sets the context for her book with a thrilling story revolving around legendary tennis player Andre Agassi and his revolutionary coach Brad Gilbert. Gilbert brought in an engineer’s approach to embellish the quality of Agassi’s play. “An engineer can’t design a successful structure without first carefully accounting for the forces of opposition (say, wind resistance or gravity). So engineers always attempt to solve problems by first identifying the obstacles to success.� Gilbert thus steered Agassi’s focus from trying to slam winners off every shot to maintaining a focus on his opponent’s shortcomings. This tweak resulted in an incredible transformation in the game of Agassi and led to his being acknowledged as one of the greatest of his generation.
Milkman, incidentally an engineer herself, employs the same philosophy to demonstrate how we all can make simple adjustments to our routines so as to get the best outcomes from our efforts. For example, Milkman’s research indicated that building “moments engine� � a concept that identifies when the company’s employees are likely to be open to change (say, after a promotion or a move to a new office), provides a much needed ‘nudge� for instigating positive initiatives that would spur the employees into action, such as getting them to save more or receive their flu vaccines.
As exemplified in one of the greatest psychological experiment involving little kids and marshmallows, Austrian born American psychologist, Walter Mischel demonstrated that impulsivity or present bias � a tendency to favour immediate gratification over long term rewards can be detrimental to positive change. Milkman offers a novel and fun filled method to avoid falling into the trap of such instant temptation. Her solution � ‘temptation bundling�. One can allow oneself to indulge in one’s guilty pleasures, but only when one is pursuing a virtuous or valuable activity that one usually tends to procrastinate. For example, listening to your favourite audio book only while on the treadmill or binge watching Netflix only while doing the laundry. Temptation building can also be combined with “gamification� a tactic employed by companies in transforming something that is not a game feel more engaged and less repetitious by adding game like features, such as symbolic rewards. For example, a badge of ‘featured reviewer� and ‘auto approved� reviewer on the Net Galley website spurs readers to post more and more reviews thereby helping emerging authors as well.
One of my favourite chapters in the book is the one on procrastination. An inveterate procrastinator, I always put off till next week what can be done today. Milkman tackles this pernicious attribute of procrastination by offering a few practical and easily implementable tools. Inspired by the works of behavioural and other economists such as Robert Strotz, Thomas Schelling and Richard Thaler, Milkman urges us to “anticipate temptation and create constraints�. These constraints termed “commitment devices� break the cycle of procrastination. Creating a “locked� savings bank account (an account where no withdrawal is permissible until a certain level of savings is achieved) or putting money on the line that one is forced to forfeit after every infraction (for example, every cigarette smoked after taking a pledge to quit smoking will result in the depositing of a pre agreed sum of money towards a charity, preferably one which the voter does not subscribe to), will spur an individual towards tightening the strings in so far resolutions are concerned. Taking “soft pledges� also act as a psychological boost in Preventing procrastination as the one taking the pledge and making it public would not want to be seen as one who does not honour his own words.
Two of the most important revelations gleaned by me in a personal capacity after reading Milkman’s engrossing book, have been those relating to laziness and the power of advice. A very power example illustrates the potential for ‘harnessing� our inherent default setting of laziness to foster positive outcomes. “During a routine system upgrade, an IT consultant working on the software that Penn Medicine physicians used to send prescriptions to pharmacies made a small change to the user interface: he added a new checkbox to the system. From then on, unless a physician checked that box, whatever drug they prescribed would be sent to the pharmacy as a generic. Since doctors, like the rest of us, tend to be a little lazy, they only rarely checked the box: just 2 percent of the time. As a result, Penn’s generic prescription rate shot up to 98 percent.� Penn Medicine which was once notorious for prescribing branded medicines 75 percent of the time thereby contributing to ballooning costs and insurer angst, with just a single tweak became the most avowed prescriber of generic medication.
Similarly, asking a person who is going through tough times to ‘render� advice to another who might be going through a similar adverse phase improves decision making skills immensely. “This idea—that giving advice can be more important to your success than receiving it—was echoed by the legendary drummer Mike Mangini when he appeared on my podcast in 2019. He talked about how he developed the confidence he needed to rise to stardom. Now the lead drummer for world-famous heavy metal band Dream Theater, Mike took a path to the top that was anything but straight. He spent the 1980s as a software engineer, practicing incessantly on the drums at night and on the weekends, daydreaming of a big career in music with little hope of achieving his goal. Then something changed. When other drummers in a shared practice space unexpectedly began knocking on Mike’s door and asking him to give them lessons, their requests gave Mike a newfound confidence. If so many people thought he had a special talent, maybe he did. Mike quit his day job and devoted himself full time to drumming. Today, he’s one of the best-known drummers in the business. He attributes his success, in no small part, to being asked to give other people advice.�
“How To Change� is an extremely engrossing book that spurs its readers to action. What sets it apart from other books of its genre is the element of simplicity, practicality and most critically, implementable potentiality. I am sure innumerable lives would be transformed for the good, as a result of a serious reading of this book. “Change� is imminent!
May 4, 2021
"Who is this Katy Milkman, and how can a milkman be named Katy? Shouldn't it be milkperson?" These were my addled late-night thoughts while first seeing a Very Interesting Person's tweet recommending 'How to Change'. Now, of the 180 or so nonfiction books I read every year, I pre-order only around ten. These are usually books that I just *know* are going to be great, like David Eagleman's [[ASIN:B07XJKJ8JW Livewired: The Inside Story of the Ever-Changing Brain]] or Adam Grant's [[ASIN:B08H177WQP Think Again]]. (Or books by friends who would disown me if I didn't buy their little brainchild.) But this recommendation had the credibility of a certain MacArthur fellow behind it (Hi Angie!). Also, as a self-proclaimed behavioral change therapist and Happiness Engineer, it's not like I had a choice � change *is* my beat. So I gritted my teeth and bought it sight unseen, author unknown, hoping for the best.
And you know what? Turns out this book *is* the best! Some reasons why I dig 'How to Change':
� This is a supremely well-structured book. Eight chapters: Getting Started; Impulsivity; Procrastination; Forgetfulness; Laziness; Confidence; Conformity; and a Conclusion. Clear subheadings, illustrated by vivid stories and examples. This is obviously the product of a very organized mind, so it totally makes sense that Prof Milkman trained as an engineer. I particularly appreciate the succinct "Chapter Takeaways" summarizing the key ideas of each chapter.
� The combination of Milkman's deft storytelling and fluent prose made this a fast and compelling read. On my Kindle at 10pm, done by one!
� This book has about as much fat as an Olympic sprinter. Lean and pithy, it delivers its literally life-changing payload in about 200 pages, avoiding the tendency of some books to add heft without substance.
So what's the book about? So glad you asked. Here's the deal: behavior change is hard, and no technique works 100% of the time. This book is about how science can help you stack the deck in your favor when change is probabilistic in nature. Some examples:
� "Fresh starts" help a lot. Pick a milestone date with a clear before and after, like Jan 1 or your birthday, to make change more likely to stick. Sure, 80% of New Year's Resolutions fail, but that 20% success rate is still higher than any other time you could pick.
� Like cherry-flavored cough syrup, injecting some fun into work makes it go down easier. "Temptation bundling" adds a pleasant activity to an otherwise onerous one. Who knew that my technique of pairing a great audiobook to make boring runs happen was scientifically validated!
� Control procrastination by restricting your choices via a "commitment device" � e.g. self-imposed deadlines or cash commitments.
� In the same way that cheering someone else up is the best way to boost your mood, mentoring someone else is the best way to achieve more.
� If forgetting is one of the main reasons why we don't change, then the gold standard antidote is "cue-based planning": "These plans link a plan of action with a cue and take the form 'When X happens, I’ll do Y.' Cues can be anything that triggers your memory, from a specific time or location to an object you expect to encounter." Make an "implementation intention" for the how, where and when you'll do stuff, and stuff miraculously gets done.
The book also addresses the subtleties of how otherwise effective techniques can sometimes backfire. For example, if you had a fresh start imposed on you when you were already doing well, you're likely to backslide instead of progress. Rigid habits (e.g. meditating every day at the same time) work well, but can also go to zero when disrupted; flexible habits are more robust. And being amongst a high-achieving peer group can motivate us, but if they're too far ahead of us with nobody in the middle zone, we tend to give up. This is particularly important in countries with a gutted middle-class and widening inequality gap; those left behind are likely to fall into despair.
Leonardo da Vinci once said, "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." Katy Milkman has taken a huge pile of data and scrunched it down to its easily digestible essence, providing that ultimate sophistication of simplicity. This immediately useful collection of science-based methods for change should be a reference for all students, teachers, coaches, high achievers, or anyone who has ever struggled as they strive to thrive as a human. Get it to grow even faster.
-- Ali Binazir, M.D., M.Phil., Happiness Engineer and author of , the highest-rated dating book on Amazon, and
And you know what? Turns out this book *is* the best! Some reasons why I dig 'How to Change':
� This is a supremely well-structured book. Eight chapters: Getting Started; Impulsivity; Procrastination; Forgetfulness; Laziness; Confidence; Conformity; and a Conclusion. Clear subheadings, illustrated by vivid stories and examples. This is obviously the product of a very organized mind, so it totally makes sense that Prof Milkman trained as an engineer. I particularly appreciate the succinct "Chapter Takeaways" summarizing the key ideas of each chapter.
� The combination of Milkman's deft storytelling and fluent prose made this a fast and compelling read. On my Kindle at 10pm, done by one!
� This book has about as much fat as an Olympic sprinter. Lean and pithy, it delivers its literally life-changing payload in about 200 pages, avoiding the tendency of some books to add heft without substance.
So what's the book about? So glad you asked. Here's the deal: behavior change is hard, and no technique works 100% of the time. This book is about how science can help you stack the deck in your favor when change is probabilistic in nature. Some examples:
� "Fresh starts" help a lot. Pick a milestone date with a clear before and after, like Jan 1 or your birthday, to make change more likely to stick. Sure, 80% of New Year's Resolutions fail, but that 20% success rate is still higher than any other time you could pick.
� Like cherry-flavored cough syrup, injecting some fun into work makes it go down easier. "Temptation bundling" adds a pleasant activity to an otherwise onerous one. Who knew that my technique of pairing a great audiobook to make boring runs happen was scientifically validated!
� Control procrastination by restricting your choices via a "commitment device" � e.g. self-imposed deadlines or cash commitments.
� In the same way that cheering someone else up is the best way to boost your mood, mentoring someone else is the best way to achieve more.
� If forgetting is one of the main reasons why we don't change, then the gold standard antidote is "cue-based planning": "These plans link a plan of action with a cue and take the form 'When X happens, I’ll do Y.' Cues can be anything that triggers your memory, from a specific time or location to an object you expect to encounter." Make an "implementation intention" for the how, where and when you'll do stuff, and stuff miraculously gets done.
The book also addresses the subtleties of how otherwise effective techniques can sometimes backfire. For example, if you had a fresh start imposed on you when you were already doing well, you're likely to backslide instead of progress. Rigid habits (e.g. meditating every day at the same time) work well, but can also go to zero when disrupted; flexible habits are more robust. And being amongst a high-achieving peer group can motivate us, but if they're too far ahead of us with nobody in the middle zone, we tend to give up. This is particularly important in countries with a gutted middle-class and widening inequality gap; those left behind are likely to fall into despair.
Leonardo da Vinci once said, "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." Katy Milkman has taken a huge pile of data and scrunched it down to its easily digestible essence, providing that ultimate sophistication of simplicity. This immediately useful collection of science-based methods for change should be a reference for all students, teachers, coaches, high achievers, or anyone who has ever struggled as they strive to thrive as a human. Get it to grow even faster.
-- Ali Binazir, M.D., M.Phil., Happiness Engineer and author of , the highest-rated dating book on Amazon, and
June 6, 2021
The rating is a result of a huge disappointment after an even greater expectation. In other circumstances I’d have given three stars. Still not great.
The problem with this book is that Katy Milkman is living in a bubble of an academic world, researchers, and people functioning in teams. Every experiment described in this book involves multiple people, moderators, and facilitators. Among the abundant anecdotes supporting the described theories, somehow there’s no place for an individual who has no mentor or facilitator at hand. Other than habit-stacking, there is absolutely no technique mentioned that doesn’t involve a whole crowd of people. And that technique is nothing new, James Clear has a whole book about it.
Another bubble that Katy Milkman is living in is the one of support. It is brutally visible in the chapter about confidence. She openly mentions immense support received from her parents and her university mentor and treats it as default. Everybody who wants to change should find a supportive crowd. And what if you weren’t so lucky to have a loving family who believed in you? Change your mindset! I kid you not, this is the advice and takeaway from that chapter.
The book is a nice rambling of a person who’s always led a privileged, well-off life, and who has all the reasons to believe that if only you work hard, you’ll be inevitably successful. The problem is, people who are going to read a book titled “How to change� are, in great majority, those who struggle. It is not enough to describe science behind certain behaviors and curated experiments supporting it. What is needed is “how�, and in this aspect, the title is absolutely misleading.
The problem with this book is that Katy Milkman is living in a bubble of an academic world, researchers, and people functioning in teams. Every experiment described in this book involves multiple people, moderators, and facilitators. Among the abundant anecdotes supporting the described theories, somehow there’s no place for an individual who has no mentor or facilitator at hand. Other than habit-stacking, there is absolutely no technique mentioned that doesn’t involve a whole crowd of people. And that technique is nothing new, James Clear has a whole book about it.
Another bubble that Katy Milkman is living in is the one of support. It is brutally visible in the chapter about confidence. She openly mentions immense support received from her parents and her university mentor and treats it as default. Everybody who wants to change should find a supportive crowd. And what if you weren’t so lucky to have a loving family who believed in you? Change your mindset! I kid you not, this is the advice and takeaway from that chapter.
The book is a nice rambling of a person who’s always led a privileged, well-off life, and who has all the reasons to believe that if only you work hard, you’ll be inevitably successful. The problem is, people who are going to read a book titled “How to change� are, in great majority, those who struggle. It is not enough to describe science behind certain behaviors and curated experiments supporting it. What is needed is “how�, and in this aspect, the title is absolutely misleading.
May 17, 2023
4 �
With a title of , it seemed like a perfect book for the beginning of a new year. I don't usually read self-help books, but author paired her counsel with academic studies on behavioral science, which fascinates me.
This typical pattern of forgetfulness was why I wanted to look over a hard copy before drafting my review.
had seven chapters addressing the obstacles of change: getting started, impulsivity, procrastination, forgetfulness, laziness, confidence, and conformity. She had "takeaways" at the end of each chapter, though occasionally they sounded like the typical self-help pablum. I found the real-life case studies to be more interesting as some were counter-intuitive.
I can't evaluate the effectiveness of her strategies compared with other self-help books since I usually don't read them. Furthermore, I'm not the type to make new year's resolutions, because the path to hell is paved with good intentions. Overall, retained my attention and this might be a useful book to prompt / nudge future behavioral patterns.
[T]he secret to a better life is not to eradicate the impulses that make us human but instead to understand them, outsmart them, and whenever possible, to make them work for us rather than against us.
With a title of , it seemed like a perfect book for the beginning of a new year. I don't usually read self-help books, but author paired her counsel with academic studies on behavioral science, which fascinates me.
Hermann estimated that forgetting follows a roughly exponential decay function. We forget nearly half of the information we’ve learned within twenty minutes. After twenty-four hours, about 70 percent of it is gone, and a month later, we’re looking at losses of approximately 80 percent.
This typical pattern of forgetfulness was why I wanted to look over a hard copy before drafting my review.
Study after study has shown that achieving transformative behavior change is more like treating a chronic disease than curing a rash. The internal obstacles that stand in the way of change—obstacles such as temptation, forgetfulness, underconfidence, and laziness—are like the symptoms of a chronic disease. They won’t just go away once you’ve started “treating� them. They’re human nature and require constant vigilance.
had seven chapters addressing the obstacles of change: getting started, impulsivity, procrastination, forgetfulness, laziness, confidence, and conformity. She had "takeaways" at the end of each chapter, though occasionally they sounded like the typical self-help pablum. I found the real-life case studies to be more interesting as some were counter-intuitive.
Behavior change is similar. You can use an all-purpose strategy that works well on average. Set tough goals and break them down into component steps. Visualize success. Work to create habits—tiny ones, atomic ones, keystone ones—following the advice laid out in self-help bestsellers. But you’ll get further faster if you customize your strategy: isolate the weakness.
I can't evaluate the effectiveness of her strategies compared with other self-help books since I usually don't read them. Furthermore, I'm not the type to make new year's resolutions, because the path to hell is paved with good intentions. Overall, retained my attention and this might be a useful book to prompt / nudge future behavioral patterns.
Insight: if you want to change your behavior or someone else’s, you’re at a huge advantage if you begin with a blank slate—a fresh start—and no old habits working against you.
March 7, 2023
به نظر من بزرگترین اشکالی که به بسیاری از کتاب‌ها� ژانر موفقیت/خودیاری وارد است، «شبهِ‌علم� بودنِ آن‌هاس�. تقریباً همان چیزی که باعث می‌شو� اهلِ کتاب آن‌ه� را «کتاب‌ها� زرد» بخوانند. خوانندگانِ این دسته از کتاب‌ه� باید در انتخاب و خوانشِ این کتاب‌ه� بسیار مراقب باشند.
در همه‌جا� دنیا، هستند نویسندگانی که از فروش پکیج‌‌ها� پوشالیِ موفقیت و انگیزش به نان و نوایی رسیده‌ان�.
اما سوال اینجاست که با وجود چنین کتاب‌های� فروشِ رویایِ موفقیت، آیا خواندنِ ژانر موفقیت/خودیاری کاری بیهوده است؟ آیا همه� نویسندگانِ این ژانر خواننده را گرفتارِ نصیحت‌ها� شبه‌علم� می‌کنند� البته که نه!
اینجاست که هنرِ نویسندگانی مثل کیتی میلکمن و برخی دیگر از نویسندگانِ این ژانر آشکار می‌شو�. آن‌ه� خواننده را صرفاً درگیر فرضیه‌ها� ذهنیِ خود برای موفقیت نمی‌کنند� بلکه فرضیه‌ها� خود را در بوته� آزمایش قرار داده‌ان� و روی آن تحقیق کرده‌ان� تا از درستی آن مطمئن شوند (و جرأت این را داشته‌ان� که گاهی اعتراف کنند فرضیه� اولیه� آنها اشتباه بوده)
این کتاب پر از تحقیقات علمیِ چاپ شده در مجله‌ها� معتبر در حوزه� علوم رفتاری است(حتی میتوان� بگویم کتاب بیش از حد پر از تحقیقات مختلف است!)
و بزرگترین هنرِ خانم میلکمن (استاد دانشگاه پنسیلوانیا) استفاده از روش‌ها� استاندارد تحقیق در آزمودن فرضیه‌های� است (می‌دانی� که طراحی و اجرای درستِ مطالعات و آزمایش‌ه� در حوزه� علوم اجتماعی و علوم رفتاری چقدر دشوار است)
کتاب در ۸ فصل به روش‌های� پرداخته که میتوان تغییرات مثبتِ دلخواه را در زندگی ایجاد و آن‌ه� را ماندگار کرد.
بله، می‌توا� گفت در چنین کتاب‌های� هرچقدر نویسنده بیشتر فرضیه‌ها� خود را بیازماید، بیشتر از وادیِ «شبه‌علم� فاصله گرفته و در مسیرِ «علم» قدم گذاشته است. از میانِ انبوه کتاب‌ها� ژانرِ موفقیت چنین کتاب‌های� انگشت شمارند و به نظر من خواندنی‌ترن�.
در همه‌جا� دنیا، هستند نویسندگانی که از فروش پکیج‌‌ها� پوشالیِ موفقیت و انگیزش به نان و نوایی رسیده‌ان�.
اما سوال اینجاست که با وجود چنین کتاب‌های� فروشِ رویایِ موفقیت، آیا خواندنِ ژانر موفقیت/خودیاری کاری بیهوده است؟ آیا همه� نویسندگانِ این ژانر خواننده را گرفتارِ نصیحت‌ها� شبه‌علم� می‌کنند� البته که نه!
اینجاست که هنرِ نویسندگانی مثل کیتی میلکمن و برخی دیگر از نویسندگانِ این ژانر آشکار می‌شو�. آن‌ه� خواننده را صرفاً درگیر فرضیه‌ها� ذهنیِ خود برای موفقیت نمی‌کنند� بلکه فرضیه‌ها� خود را در بوته� آزمایش قرار داده‌ان� و روی آن تحقیق کرده‌ان� تا از درستی آن مطمئن شوند (و جرأت این را داشته‌ان� که گاهی اعتراف کنند فرضیه� اولیه� آنها اشتباه بوده)
این کتاب پر از تحقیقات علمیِ چاپ شده در مجله‌ها� معتبر در حوزه� علوم رفتاری است(حتی میتوان� بگویم کتاب بیش از حد پر از تحقیقات مختلف است!)
و بزرگترین هنرِ خانم میلکمن (استاد دانشگاه پنسیلوانیا) استفاده از روش‌ها� استاندارد تحقیق در آزمودن فرضیه‌های� است (می‌دانی� که طراحی و اجرای درستِ مطالعات و آزمایش‌ه� در حوزه� علوم اجتماعی و علوم رفتاری چقدر دشوار است)
کتاب در ۸ فصل به روش‌های� پرداخته که میتوان تغییرات مثبتِ دلخواه را در زندگی ایجاد و آن‌ه� را ماندگار کرد.
بله، می‌توا� گفت در چنین کتاب‌های� هرچقدر نویسنده بیشتر فرضیه‌ها� خود را بیازماید، بیشتر از وادیِ «شبه‌علم� فاصله گرفته و در مسیرِ «علم» قدم گذاشته است. از میانِ انبوه کتاب‌ها� ژانرِ موفقیت چنین کتاب‌های� انگشت شمارند و به نظر من خواندنی‌ترن�.
April 22, 2021
**Listened via audio book**
What have I just listened to?
this book didn't fit with the description. I'm just not sure what this book was trying to convey. It is marketed as more of a self-help/behaviour/psychology type of book. But it was quite heavy on the science and the medical side. I listened to this all the way through, and when it finished I just felt i needed to re-listen as I had retained very little info.
I didn't enjoy this listening/reading experience - the narrator was fine, but just felt a bit all over the place in relation to the the main theme/objective of the book.
Not for me!
What have I just listened to?
this book didn't fit with the description. I'm just not sure what this book was trying to convey. It is marketed as more of a self-help/behaviour/psychology type of book. But it was quite heavy on the science and the medical side. I listened to this all the way through, and when it finished I just felt i needed to re-listen as I had retained very little info.
I didn't enjoy this listening/reading experience - the narrator was fine, but just felt a bit all over the place in relation to the the main theme/objective of the book.
Not for me!
January 7, 2022
This book is a fine overview of the last few decades of research on behavioral change methods. It's brief, breezy, and the writing is fine. It provides some practical, empirically-supported suggestions. Like most books in the pop psych/pop sci/self-help category, it doesn't have much to say, and the proffered suggestions would fit easily into an infographic. But it's less repetitive or full of filler than many of its contemporaries.
But gosh, is it a depressing read.
The lingering impression is of too much scrolling on Instagram or TikTok. An image-conscious, privileged person -- who has never personally struggled with any of the systemic or personal barriers you are struggling with -- gives you some well-meaning advice. She is sympathetic to your struggles and pretends she can relate. After all Dr. Milkman once forgot a meeting with a colleague (and is still mortified about it!). Plus, a long time ago, she had trouble getting to the gym as often as she wanted, so she totally gets you.
But really, Dr. Milkman is, well... slightly baffled that you don't have it all together yet. So are all her colleagues and grad students at Wharton, who just keep shaking their heads at the huddled masses who can't get everything done. They know the science shows other people are lazy, forgetful, underconfident, and willing to surround themselves with bad social influences, though they're not really sure *why* you'd be that way. But though she can't quite understand you, Dr. Milkman is here to help. She's rolling up her sleeves and giving you a cheerful tutorial. You too can learn to be more like her. Maybe you just don't know that you can listen to podcasts while on the elliptical!
If you can stomach the tone, there is some useful advice in here (though with a strong aftertaste of pity). Temptation bundling and making things fun and soft commitments have been shown to work.
But the book only has suggestions if (1) you have no systemic or social barriers that might contribute to your difficulties, and (2) if you only have the most conscientious and least imaginative of goals. Specifically, if you want to exercise more, quit smoking, turn in your homework on time, vote more often, floss after brushing, and get screened for colon cancer. You know, all the things you should be doing already, but for some reason [cue pitying look] just can't.
Certainly, there's no time to consider any of the social or systemic reasons why you aren't voting or flossing. Dr. Milkman doesn't know anyone who feels disenfranchised as a voter or is dead tired after working two jobs or being a single mom. And there are no goals more imaginative flossing and voting. It seems that the "Where You Want to Be" in the title does not include any places of greater interpersonal or intrapersonal well-being.
For example, not one person mentioned in the book wants to be a better listener. No one wants to have stronger relationships, better sex, deeper connections. No one wants healthier coping skills. No one wants to slow down and spend more time reflecting (more time for worship or mindfulness are each mentioned, but only once). No one seems interested in making space for healing. No one wants to allow more creativity into their day, or be more ethical, or have more gratitude. No one has any goals about raising their children.
No one even wants to have or be more fun (well, to be fair, one guy wants to make his life more exciting, but in way that doesn't seem very relatable -- he gives himself 3 months to become the kind of guy who does "skydiving, learning to skateboard, learning to lucid dream, lowering his 5K time by five minutes, and much, much more—and to write a book about his transformation.")
In other words, no one in the book is really working on nurturing others, themselves, their communities, or the planet.
The goals mentioned in the book don't even include the unimaginative and highly-conscientious things I and my friends most often wish we could do more of. I don't think we're an odd group... we're relatively privileged and so have few systemic barriers to change, so we're clearly in the target audience. We just wish we could get more 'shoulds' done. Things like reading more. Reaching out to far-flung family and friends. Networking. Putting our name forward for special projects. Making time to acquire new job-related skills or get better at a hobby. Speaking up more at meetings (especially if someone is speaking over us or taking credit for our ideas). Being kinder when we're irritated. Keeping that inbox under control. Working more collaboratively in groups. Making more effective decisions. Recognizing when we've gone off track. Volunteering more. Honestly, even the really common goals people have like keeping up with housework or paying bills on time barely get a mention in this book.
Yet exercise is, according to the index, discussed on 53 (!) different pages. Voting gets 21 pages. And our old friend flossing gets 5 pages' worth of mentions. Sigh.
You know, now that I think about it, Dr. Milkman should have just written a book about how to exercise more. Everyone would have been happier. I'm also rethinking my rating now that I've had the chance to reflect. I originally gave the book 3 stars because the writing is better than the average self-help book. But now I'm downgrading it to 2 stars for its utter lack of imagination.
But gosh, is it a depressing read.
The lingering impression is of too much scrolling on Instagram or TikTok. An image-conscious, privileged person -- who has never personally struggled with any of the systemic or personal barriers you are struggling with -- gives you some well-meaning advice. She is sympathetic to your struggles and pretends she can relate. After all Dr. Milkman once forgot a meeting with a colleague (and is still mortified about it!). Plus, a long time ago, she had trouble getting to the gym as often as she wanted, so she totally gets you.
But really, Dr. Milkman is, well... slightly baffled that you don't have it all together yet. So are all her colleagues and grad students at Wharton, who just keep shaking their heads at the huddled masses who can't get everything done. They know the science shows other people are lazy, forgetful, underconfident, and willing to surround themselves with bad social influences, though they're not really sure *why* you'd be that way. But though she can't quite understand you, Dr. Milkman is here to help. She's rolling up her sleeves and giving you a cheerful tutorial. You too can learn to be more like her. Maybe you just don't know that you can listen to podcasts while on the elliptical!
If you can stomach the tone, there is some useful advice in here (though with a strong aftertaste of pity). Temptation bundling and making things fun and soft commitments have been shown to work.
But the book only has suggestions if (1) you have no systemic or social barriers that might contribute to your difficulties, and (2) if you only have the most conscientious and least imaginative of goals. Specifically, if you want to exercise more, quit smoking, turn in your homework on time, vote more often, floss after brushing, and get screened for colon cancer. You know, all the things you should be doing already, but for some reason [cue pitying look] just can't.
Certainly, there's no time to consider any of the social or systemic reasons why you aren't voting or flossing. Dr. Milkman doesn't know anyone who feels disenfranchised as a voter or is dead tired after working two jobs or being a single mom. And there are no goals more imaginative flossing and voting. It seems that the "Where You Want to Be" in the title does not include any places of greater interpersonal or intrapersonal well-being.
For example, not one person mentioned in the book wants to be a better listener. No one wants to have stronger relationships, better sex, deeper connections. No one wants healthier coping skills. No one wants to slow down and spend more time reflecting (more time for worship or mindfulness are each mentioned, but only once). No one seems interested in making space for healing. No one wants to allow more creativity into their day, or be more ethical, or have more gratitude. No one has any goals about raising their children.
No one even wants to have or be more fun (well, to be fair, one guy wants to make his life more exciting, but in way that doesn't seem very relatable -- he gives himself 3 months to become the kind of guy who does "skydiving, learning to skateboard, learning to lucid dream, lowering his 5K time by five minutes, and much, much more—and to write a book about his transformation.")
In other words, no one in the book is really working on nurturing others, themselves, their communities, or the planet.
The goals mentioned in the book don't even include the unimaginative and highly-conscientious things I and my friends most often wish we could do more of. I don't think we're an odd group... we're relatively privileged and so have few systemic barriers to change, so we're clearly in the target audience. We just wish we could get more 'shoulds' done. Things like reading more. Reaching out to far-flung family and friends. Networking. Putting our name forward for special projects. Making time to acquire new job-related skills or get better at a hobby. Speaking up more at meetings (especially if someone is speaking over us or taking credit for our ideas). Being kinder when we're irritated. Keeping that inbox under control. Working more collaboratively in groups. Making more effective decisions. Recognizing when we've gone off track. Volunteering more. Honestly, even the really common goals people have like keeping up with housework or paying bills on time barely get a mention in this book.
Yet exercise is, according to the index, discussed on 53 (!) different pages. Voting gets 21 pages. And our old friend flossing gets 5 pages' worth of mentions. Sigh.
You know, now that I think about it, Dr. Milkman should have just written a book about how to exercise more. Everyone would have been happier. I'm also rethinking my rating now that I've had the chance to reflect. I originally gave the book 3 stars because the writing is better than the average self-help book. But now I'm downgrading it to 2 stars for its utter lack of imagination.
September 8, 2021
I purchased this book after hearing Ms. Milkman being interviewed by Steven Levitt on his Freakonomics podcast.
I found this book to be rather disappointing. The title suggests the book contains some concrete, structured ideas on how we should set about implementing useful hacks to improve our lives. However, it just points to other research carried out in the field.
Pages and pages of name dropping and chitchat make it seem more of a brag than a serious book on behavioral science. I lost count of how many times Milkman mentioned the name Wharton college, or 'my Wharton PhD students.'
I found this book to be rather disappointing. The title suggests the book contains some concrete, structured ideas on how we should set about implementing useful hacks to improve our lives. However, it just points to other research carried out in the field.
Pages and pages of name dropping and chitchat make it seem more of a brag than a serious book on behavioral science. I lost count of how many times Milkman mentioned the name Wharton college, or 'my Wharton PhD students.'
July 15, 2021
Are we slaves to our past, or are we capable of making substantial life changes even when the odds are stacked against us? Anybody who has ever set a goal to lose weight, find love, or get a better job has run up against the roadblocks that divert most of us from reaching those goals. How to Change looks at some common roadblocks like impulsivity, procrastination, forgetfulness, and conformity that keep us stuck in the same ruts, and gives some good advice on how to overcome those blockages.
Katy Milkman is a Wharton professor and host of the podcast "Choiceology". This is her first book, and is a good review of the research on behavior modification and psychological tricks to train your mind to head in the direction you want.
I will summarize this short book into the seven tips she emphasizes for those who want to make life-changing moves and need some help.
1- Use the Fresh Start effect. January 1 is the beginning of the year but also the beginning of a lot of personal changes for people everywhere. The turning of the calendar in any meaningful way can spur the fresh start effect- the feeling of a clean slate full of possibilities and desire to take advantage of it. Fresh starts are common with new jobs and school years, but can come with birthdays and anniversaries as well, any portal in time that signifies a break with the past. This is an ideal time to initiate substantial changes.
2- Add an ounce of pleasure to any difficult task. Just as in Mary Poppins, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. We are more likely to take on unpleasant but necessary tasks like exercise or homework if they come with a reward, tasty treat, fun music, or anything else we value but feel a little guilty enjoying. Milkman calls this temptation bundling, and it makes sense that mixing pleasure with pain makes the painful parts of change easier to handle.
3- Make a public commitment. A strong contract that can't be wiggled out of has an amazing motivational effect on a person. Having your goal on record with a deadline and a consequence if you don't make it is powerful. Commitment devices are available on the internet that can keep you honest, or confiding in another person or group of people works even better. If you really want to burn bridges to the past, make a Ulysses pact that forces you into action and blocks all temptations- just be careful not to overdo it.
4- Set plenty of reminders. Sometimes we just forget. Having a reminder on your calendar, phone, or desk prompts you through the maze of distractions that pull on all of us every day. Milkman describes something called cue-based planning, where certain powerful reminders get pre-wired into our brains and when we see them, we take immediate action in the desired direction.
5- Set it and forget it. We are lazy creatures and our default setting is to follow the path of least resistance. To take advantage of that tendency, it's best to organize our lives ahead of time to nudge us in the right direction. It takes weeks to establish a new routine, but once it gets embedded it follows us day after day to produce positive results. If you want to eat better, get rid of the junk food in your house and come up with a reliable and predictable menu of meals that become a second nature. Just don't become so rigid in any new routine that adversity can throw you completely off- flexibility is key to adapt to life's curveballs.
6- Have confidence that you will succeed. This seems to be a Catch 22 situation in that when trying anything new our confidence is at its lowest. Only with progress do we feel more confident. But if you can break the negative cycle of lower expectations, you're much more likely to grow in confidence right away. Positive expectations produce positive results. There are dozens of studies out there showing that teachers with high expectations produce the best results. Even more powerfully, there are studies that helping others with a problem like the one we are trying to solve makes us feel confidence and mastery even faster.
7- Find the right kinds of people to hang around. Humans are social creatures, and we tend to take on the characteristics of those who are in our immediate social circle. To make the most progress on a new goal, find people who are just a little bit ahead of you, and follow their lead. (People too far ahead of you could zap your motivation if their level seems unattainable.) It's important to have role models. If you want to lose weight, you can't be eating with obese people all the time- they could try to sabotage you if you change too much and threaten them.
How to Change is a fun book with plenty of suggestions and studies to back them up. I highly recommend it to anybody looking to improve their lot in life.
Katy Milkman is a Wharton professor and host of the podcast "Choiceology". This is her first book, and is a good review of the research on behavior modification and psychological tricks to train your mind to head in the direction you want.
I will summarize this short book into the seven tips she emphasizes for those who want to make life-changing moves and need some help.
1- Use the Fresh Start effect. January 1 is the beginning of the year but also the beginning of a lot of personal changes for people everywhere. The turning of the calendar in any meaningful way can spur the fresh start effect- the feeling of a clean slate full of possibilities and desire to take advantage of it. Fresh starts are common with new jobs and school years, but can come with birthdays and anniversaries as well, any portal in time that signifies a break with the past. This is an ideal time to initiate substantial changes.
2- Add an ounce of pleasure to any difficult task. Just as in Mary Poppins, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. We are more likely to take on unpleasant but necessary tasks like exercise or homework if they come with a reward, tasty treat, fun music, or anything else we value but feel a little guilty enjoying. Milkman calls this temptation bundling, and it makes sense that mixing pleasure with pain makes the painful parts of change easier to handle.
3- Make a public commitment. A strong contract that can't be wiggled out of has an amazing motivational effect on a person. Having your goal on record with a deadline and a consequence if you don't make it is powerful. Commitment devices are available on the internet that can keep you honest, or confiding in another person or group of people works even better. If you really want to burn bridges to the past, make a Ulysses pact that forces you into action and blocks all temptations- just be careful not to overdo it.
4- Set plenty of reminders. Sometimes we just forget. Having a reminder on your calendar, phone, or desk prompts you through the maze of distractions that pull on all of us every day. Milkman describes something called cue-based planning, where certain powerful reminders get pre-wired into our brains and when we see them, we take immediate action in the desired direction.
5- Set it and forget it. We are lazy creatures and our default setting is to follow the path of least resistance. To take advantage of that tendency, it's best to organize our lives ahead of time to nudge us in the right direction. It takes weeks to establish a new routine, but once it gets embedded it follows us day after day to produce positive results. If you want to eat better, get rid of the junk food in your house and come up with a reliable and predictable menu of meals that become a second nature. Just don't become so rigid in any new routine that adversity can throw you completely off- flexibility is key to adapt to life's curveballs.
6- Have confidence that you will succeed. This seems to be a Catch 22 situation in that when trying anything new our confidence is at its lowest. Only with progress do we feel more confident. But if you can break the negative cycle of lower expectations, you're much more likely to grow in confidence right away. Positive expectations produce positive results. There are dozens of studies out there showing that teachers with high expectations produce the best results. Even more powerfully, there are studies that helping others with a problem like the one we are trying to solve makes us feel confidence and mastery even faster.
7- Find the right kinds of people to hang around. Humans are social creatures, and we tend to take on the characteristics of those who are in our immediate social circle. To make the most progress on a new goal, find people who are just a little bit ahead of you, and follow their lead. (People too far ahead of you could zap your motivation if their level seems unattainable.) It's important to have role models. If you want to lose weight, you can't be eating with obese people all the time- they could try to sabotage you if you change too much and threaten them.
How to Change is a fun book with plenty of suggestions and studies to back them up. I highly recommend it to anybody looking to improve their lot in life.
May 3, 2021
I listened to this as an audiobook with the vision of making some valuable life changes. The blurb talked about setting goals and using strategy, which it did, to some extent but the contents of the tin wasn't quite measuring up to the label.
Perhaps I had high expectations, I was looking for a range of techniques to apply to everyday life and what I got was a lot of anecdotes and case studies on how specific techniques were used to effect change and the consequences of certain individuals not sticking to their goals. The book was heavy on the science behind why some people change and others are less successful but, I, as a layman, wasn't given enough to go out and plot my own strategy. If the methods presented in the book didn't work with my style, then it was a case of tough luck.
I found the narration really slow and dull and had to speed it up in order to stay away and remain somewhat focused.
I think this book is suited to someone who is studying psychology, counselling or something to that effect as they would benefit more from the research.
I am going to award this book an average of 3/5 stars as the narration made me switch off several times and the heightened expectations were due to the misdirection of the promotional text. The author could perhaps have spent a bit more effort in giving the text a more conversational approach.
Perhaps I had high expectations, I was looking for a range of techniques to apply to everyday life and what I got was a lot of anecdotes and case studies on how specific techniques were used to effect change and the consequences of certain individuals not sticking to their goals. The book was heavy on the science behind why some people change and others are less successful but, I, as a layman, wasn't given enough to go out and plot my own strategy. If the methods presented in the book didn't work with my style, then it was a case of tough luck.
I found the narration really slow and dull and had to speed it up in order to stay away and remain somewhat focused.
I think this book is suited to someone who is studying psychology, counselling or something to that effect as they would benefit more from the research.
I am going to award this book an average of 3/5 stars as the narration made me switch off several times and the heightened expectations were due to the misdirection of the promotional text. The author could perhaps have spent a bit more effort in giving the text a more conversational approach.
September 29, 2021
Most annoying book I’ve ever listened to because Ms. Milkman goes on and on and on and on about this amazing academic and that brilliant academic and how she was at grad school with X who is now famous and had Y for an advisor who mentored everyone in the field who is doing important work, Princeton this, Harvard that. I know this brilliant person, I am a peer and friend of that leading scholar, Google hired me for Z.
Not sure if the intended audience is academic, corporate or individuals. Maybe elite already top of the pack individuals
It is valuable content although so far it hasn’t talked about the importance of intrinsic motivation, mindset, beliefs. I’m up to the chapter on “confidence�. And the part focused on companies driving employee behavior and governments driving citizens behavior is disturbing. Implies an elite who know best and the rest of us poor masses.
Not sure if the intended audience is academic, corporate or individuals. Maybe elite already top of the pack individuals
It is valuable content although so far it hasn’t talked about the importance of intrinsic motivation, mindset, beliefs. I’m up to the chapter on “confidence�. And the part focused on companies driving employee behavior and governments driving citizens behavior is disturbing. Implies an elite who know best and the rest of us poor masses.
December 5, 2021
примерно треть книги оказалась очень познавательной и полезной! с интересными исследованиями и понятными выводами, которые можно применить на практике в своей жизни.
а остальное - информация, которую я знала из других более старых книг о привычках и переменах, либо что-то совсем для меня неактуальное.
но я решила её прочитать, потому что чувствую, что мне нужна внешняя поддержка для нового этапа организации своей повседневности, и нашла то, что искала, поэтому книгой скорее довольна, чем нет.
а остальное - информация, которую я знала из других более старых книг о привычках и переменах, либо что-то совсем для меня неактуальное.
но я решила её прочитать, потому что чувствую, что мне нужна внешняя поддержка для нового этапа организации своей повседневности, и нашла то, что искала, поэтому книгой скорее довольна, чем нет.
May 31, 2024
3.5 stars rounded up. Dr. Milkman is an endowed professor in Operations, Information and Decisions at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. This is her first popular psychology book drawing heavily from her research into factors that motivate positive human behavioral change. In this brief (272 page/6 hour audiobook) read/listen opened with a glowing recommendation from colleague Angela Duckworth (fellow academic and the author of the excellent ), Milkman makes another solid entry into a very saturated, heavily-researched topic both in the academic literature and popular nonfiction. I'd recommend this book as a good initial primer for folks who haven't already read pop psych books on this topic, but for those who have read in this genre in the past, you're probably fine skipping this book as most of the content is analogous to other key books in the genre (see further reading below).
Further reading:
by Charles Duhigg
by James Clear
by Chip and Dan Heath
by Alan Deutschman
by Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein
Further reading:
by Charles Duhigg
by James Clear
by Chip and Dan Heath
by Alan Deutschman
by Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein
September 21, 2021
The book is a very easy read. Some of the important things that I got out of the book:
Fresh start - It's always hard to start a new habit, so we want to associate a new start with a new milestone. For example, I want to start reading books everyday starting next week which is the New Year. It's hard to unlearn something to get on to a new habit. But, when you are starting from scratch and have no prior baggage, it's easy to form a new habit.
Present Bias - It's hard to have long term goals when short term distractions are aplenty. Let me browse my Twitter feed for a few minutes before moving on to studying for the exams.
How to overcome Present Bias? That's where you get the temptation bundling. Let me watch Netflix when I am working out in the gym.
Gamification - I want to close my rings on the Apple Watch everyday. So, let me do my workouts regularly to win goodies.
Soft Restriction - I am going to inform the world that I will be writing a book in the next 3 months. This means, I have my self respect on the line if I don't finish the book in time.
Hard Restriction - I will be donating money to causes that I simply don't like. I am putting money on the line here.
Making smaller, frequent commitments is better than making large, long term commitments.
Have cue-based plans. The more distinctive the cue, more likely the recall. I always want to floss after brushing my teeth (cue). Don't form too many cue based plans though.
How to have self-efficacy, the confidence and ability to control their own behavior, motivation and social circumstances?
How to stick together with people who can raise our standards in the things we do? The people you hang out with play a big role in your life.
So, there are lot of great cues. I really enjoyed the book. Change is a transformative process. You have to be at it for months, and sometimes, years before you can form a good routine out of it. The hard changes are as the name suggests, hard. You just have to keep at it for quite some time before it becomes a part of your routine.
All the self help books have the same principle. The goal shouldn't be, "I want to read 50 books a year". It should be, "I am a reader". So, when you create reading as a part of your identity, then it makes life much easier.
Great book to get your hands on. My two biggest takeaways are Fresh start and Temptation bundling.
Fresh start - It's always hard to start a new habit, so we want to associate a new start with a new milestone. For example, I want to start reading books everyday starting next week which is the New Year. It's hard to unlearn something to get on to a new habit. But, when you are starting from scratch and have no prior baggage, it's easy to form a new habit.
Present Bias - It's hard to have long term goals when short term distractions are aplenty. Let me browse my Twitter feed for a few minutes before moving on to studying for the exams.
How to overcome Present Bias? That's where you get the temptation bundling. Let me watch Netflix when I am working out in the gym.
Gamification - I want to close my rings on the Apple Watch everyday. So, let me do my workouts regularly to win goodies.
Soft Restriction - I am going to inform the world that I will be writing a book in the next 3 months. This means, I have my self respect on the line if I don't finish the book in time.
Hard Restriction - I will be donating money to causes that I simply don't like. I am putting money on the line here.
Making smaller, frequent commitments is better than making large, long term commitments.
Have cue-based plans. The more distinctive the cue, more likely the recall. I always want to floss after brushing my teeth (cue). Don't form too many cue based plans though.
How to have self-efficacy, the confidence and ability to control their own behavior, motivation and social circumstances?
How to stick together with people who can raise our standards in the things we do? The people you hang out with play a big role in your life.
So, there are lot of great cues. I really enjoyed the book. Change is a transformative process. You have to be at it for months, and sometimes, years before you can form a good routine out of it. The hard changes are as the name suggests, hard. You just have to keep at it for quite some time before it becomes a part of your routine.
All the self help books have the same principle. The goal shouldn't be, "I want to read 50 books a year". It should be, "I am a reader". So, when you create reading as a part of your identity, then it makes life much easier.
Great book to get your hands on. My two biggest takeaways are Fresh start and Temptation bundling.
May 17, 2021
It's a decent book, explaining many behavioral strategies we can use to reduce the willpower necessary for certain tasks (and thereby increase our likelihood of doing them) in clear, engaging language. But it's not worth the bang for buck IMO. You could easily find a summary of ALL the strategies she articulates in review article published in 2018. I appreciate the fact that she has a "take-away" sub-section after each chapter, as any good ol' self-help book should, but I found myself gravitating to these terse summaries than commit to the labor of reading through the conventional anectode-discovery-take-away structure of these popular psychology books.
May 28, 2021
Read for work.
Katy Milkman is well known in the field and provided lots of examples and evidence from psychological experiments, many of which were her own. ( I love reading that kind of thing anyway. )
I really enjoyed this book. It flowed well and gave food for thought. I am not sure I learned anything brand new, but it was all pulled together well.
Katy Milkman is well known in the field and provided lots of examples and evidence from psychological experiments, many of which were her own. ( I love reading that kind of thing anyway. )
I really enjoyed this book. It flowed well and gave food for thought. I am not sure I learned anything brand new, but it was all pulled together well.
Read
July 12, 2022My real takeaway from this is not to let your friends go overboard when they shout out your book. The foreword by Angela Duckworth is super effusive and promises that this book is very different, which is a lot for a mere book to have to deliver. I have since returned to my regular programming of bad habits and existential despair, but with more disappointment than is perhaps fair.
February 9, 2025
Read for class. I think it provides some helpful strategies but was repetitive at parts. It also doesn’t really take into account people outside of middle/high classes.
May 30, 2024
I listened to the audiobook, and it was well done. It kept my interest, and I learned some things about what works when trying to change and why.
There were a few new ideas that I liked the sound of, but a few weeks have passed, and I can’t say I am using any consistently.
I especially liked the idea of stacking techniques, so instead of utilizing a carrot (reward if you succeed) or a stick (negative consequence if you fail) to aid you in motivation, you would have both. And I also liked the idea of using an existing habit to trigger a new habit, such as saying an affirmation every time you brush your teeth.
There were a few new ideas that I liked the sound of, but a few weeks have passed, and I can’t say I am using any consistently.
I especially liked the idea of stacking techniques, so instead of utilizing a carrot (reward if you succeed) or a stick (negative consequence if you fail) to aid you in motivation, you would have both. And I also liked the idea of using an existing habit to trigger a new habit, such as saying an affirmation every time you brush your teeth.
October 4, 2021
I am so grateful to have received a review copy of “How To Change� by Katy Milkman from Penguin Random House South Africa. This year, I’ve been trying to be more intentional about reading books that can help me grow in various areas of my life and this book was no exception. I love the tagline � “The science of getting from where you are to where you want to be.�
To be honest, I am always a little intimidated by self-help books because I’ve seemed to develop this idea that they are deathly boring and tedious to read. This year has shown me, to my delight, that it’s quite the opposite! I’ve enjoyed these non-fiction books so so much and I’ve learnt interesting things. I’ve also appreciated the engaging ways in which the information is presented. It takes all the work out of learning and makes it fun!
Katy Milkman’s new book is an exploration of how we can facilitate the change we want to see in our lives and actually follow through on the change instead of ditching it like we normally do because we always run into a time when it becomes too difficult to maintain or we’ve lost the motivation that kick-started our desire to change.
She uses all her studies on behavioural change as well as science and biology to help the reader to truly understand how our minds work and in that way she highlights how it is we can effect lasting change into our lives. We all have areas that we know we need to improve in � losing weight, staying disciplined with our routines, reading more books, spending time on studies or on that project we are working on� Whatever it is for each person, the principles in this book apply.
As an example, Katy explores the times at which people generally set new or major goals. We often associate this with the New Year. We all set new year’s goals and then by the third week in January we’ve given up. She was explaining that this happens to people in other instances as well though. For example, if there is a major event in our lives, it could also act as a catalyst for major change in our lives � such as a new relationship or a promotion or the death of a loved one. And these moments are powerful in terms of their success for lasting change in our lives. These are the moments that change generally successfully occurs. If we could understand what drives the change in those times, we’ve learnt a skill we can apply at any time.
This book is a nice short read but so interesting and so engaging. I definitely feel richer for having read this book. I encourage anybody who is interested in learning to understand change and how we can really make the most of it and harness it in our lives, it’s worthwhile picking up this book! It’s helped me to see things differently which I really appreciate.
To be honest, I am always a little intimidated by self-help books because I’ve seemed to develop this idea that they are deathly boring and tedious to read. This year has shown me, to my delight, that it’s quite the opposite! I’ve enjoyed these non-fiction books so so much and I’ve learnt interesting things. I’ve also appreciated the engaging ways in which the information is presented. It takes all the work out of learning and makes it fun!
Katy Milkman’s new book is an exploration of how we can facilitate the change we want to see in our lives and actually follow through on the change instead of ditching it like we normally do because we always run into a time when it becomes too difficult to maintain or we’ve lost the motivation that kick-started our desire to change.
She uses all her studies on behavioural change as well as science and biology to help the reader to truly understand how our minds work and in that way she highlights how it is we can effect lasting change into our lives. We all have areas that we know we need to improve in � losing weight, staying disciplined with our routines, reading more books, spending time on studies or on that project we are working on� Whatever it is for each person, the principles in this book apply.
As an example, Katy explores the times at which people generally set new or major goals. We often associate this with the New Year. We all set new year’s goals and then by the third week in January we’ve given up. She was explaining that this happens to people in other instances as well though. For example, if there is a major event in our lives, it could also act as a catalyst for major change in our lives � such as a new relationship or a promotion or the death of a loved one. And these moments are powerful in terms of their success for lasting change in our lives. These are the moments that change generally successfully occurs. If we could understand what drives the change in those times, we’ve learnt a skill we can apply at any time.
This book is a nice short read but so interesting and so engaging. I definitely feel richer for having read this book. I encourage anybody who is interested in learning to understand change and how we can really make the most of it and harness it in our lives, it’s worthwhile picking up this book! It’s helped me to see things differently which I really appreciate.
March 19, 2022
I usually like pop social science books, but this one hit a sour note for me. There was interesting information in here, and I made plenty of highlights, but overall I feel a bit turned off. Maybe it’s from watching phrases like growth mindset and self-efficacy get twisted and vaguely weaponized in schools over the past few years, or maybe it’s the insight provided by the pandemic into how much outside influences can upend our best efforts, but I found the whole thing a little cringey at best and manipulative at worst. The idea that Ivy League academics with their exercise regimes and healthy habits and solid retirement accounts know The Way and the only thing standing between them and the rest of us schlubs is that we don’t know these psychological Simple Tips feels incredibly tone deaf and insular to me at the moment. It strikes me that there was almost no insight in this book into why economically secure, academically high achieving, culturally elite folks may have an easier time going for a run every day than Other People � have those Other People considered having an accountability device or copy and pasting strategies from high achieving peers? Maybe I was just too grumpy for this at the moment, and I’m sure I’ll incorporate some of what I learned into my life somewhere, but I was not sad to finish this one.
September 17, 2021
This was a well written book. Not stuffed with fluff like most books in this genre. A lot of the concepts I was familiar with but even those concepts often had some subtleties that were pointed out based on the author’s research. Some new things I learned include:
1) flexible habits are often better in the long term. We might think rigid habits (e.g., I will exercise at the exact same everyday) are best, but when things happen and we miss then we give up on it for the day. Instead if we allow for flexibility (e.g., I’ll plan to exercise at this time but if not I can get a jog in during the evening) then we still keep after our goals despite the occasional set backs. Cheat days and other such tactics are the same idea.
2) effective mentors don’t give unsolicited advice. That sends the wrong message. Instead having a struggling mentee give advice to others can be effective. Typically we know what we need to do it’s just a matter of doing it. When we give advice to others we are then more likely to follow our own advice.
1) flexible habits are often better in the long term. We might think rigid habits (e.g., I will exercise at the exact same everyday) are best, but when things happen and we miss then we give up on it for the day. Instead if we allow for flexibility (e.g., I’ll plan to exercise at this time but if not I can get a jog in during the evening) then we still keep after our goals despite the occasional set backs. Cheat days and other such tactics are the same idea.
2) effective mentors don’t give unsolicited advice. That sends the wrong message. Instead having a struggling mentee give advice to others can be effective. Typically we know what we need to do it’s just a matter of doing it. When we give advice to others we are then more likely to follow our own advice.
January 15, 2022
First, two caveats: (1) In giving examples of behaviors people may be trying to change, the book unquestionably accepts normative and cliched ideas about what counts as a "good" vs. "bad" behavior (e.g., eating "unhealthy" food = bad; being more productive at work = good). (2) The book does not challenge, interrogate, or even acknowledge the structural factors that lead people to make "bad" choices (e.g., what might be some **structural** reasons that people are not saving for retirement... hmmmm???). But that being said, I found this book useful in strategizing how I want to approach some of my personal goals. I found myself thinking "duh" to a lot of the takeaways, and yet I just... had not used that knowledge at all when it came to myself. So the book helped me take the step from knowing stuff to acting on it concretely. Worth a read (with a critical and discerning eye) if you're trying to accomplish a goal that it makes sense to tackle at the individual-change level.
August 14, 2021
Succinct, informative, and most importantly NOT bogged down with sappy/cheesy motivational jargon. Real examples, tried and true science-based methodology on how to best change and improve oneself.
September 4, 2021
Useful, insightful, but feels like it could have been a blog post. On the bright side, the book ended at 67% of the kindle’s “percentage read� indicator. Quick read.
March 13, 2022
If you like behavioral science, I think this book is for you. It shows you how you can change your and other behaviors by using knowledge in behavioral science. Strongly recommended.
February 25, 2023
So� this was an interesting situation after reflecting. I liked the book overall, but not necessarily for the reasons I chose to read it for.
As the title and subtitle implies, I thought it was going to speak more specifically about techniques and strategies for individuals to apply everyday to achieve success. Though there were mentions, instead it spoke more to research, case studies, and theories from behavioral science about why some people change and others don’t; valuable, but felt more abstract than I initially had expected. If you’re someone like me that reads a lot, the concepts mentioned here won’t be a surprise, and can be captured in her podcast, or other podcasts or papers about human behavior and psychology. Here’s a few quotes that I liked: “Not only do the obstacles that you face require tailored solutions; you need tailored goals that acknowledge and match your strengths and weaknesses.�
“We can change the way we interpret failure.�
“By changing our emotions, our attention, our motivation, and our physiology, our beliefs can powerfully shape our experiences.�
As the title and subtitle implies, I thought it was going to speak more specifically about techniques and strategies for individuals to apply everyday to achieve success. Though there were mentions, instead it spoke more to research, case studies, and theories from behavioral science about why some people change and others don’t; valuable, but felt more abstract than I initially had expected. If you’re someone like me that reads a lot, the concepts mentioned here won’t be a surprise, and can be captured in her podcast, or other podcasts or papers about human behavior and psychology. Here’s a few quotes that I liked: “Not only do the obstacles that you face require tailored solutions; you need tailored goals that acknowledge and match your strengths and weaknesses.�
“We can change the way we interpret failure.�
“By changing our emotions, our attention, our motivation, and our physiology, our beliefs can powerfully shape our experiences.�
February 9, 2023
Fantastic read! This is a great book for anyone looking to start a new goal or maybe try to incentivize a team you manage. The author got me hooked from the beginning by citing an experiment done by public administrators to motivate people to use stairs instead of escalators when using public transportation. Since then, I couldn’t put this book down. I took notes and have started to apply the theories and tactics that could get my employees to start thinking about where they want to be professional. Im a sucker for books that have extensive studies citied. This one did not disappoint. I enjoyed the chapter summaries at the end of each chapter. I can’t recommend this book enough!
July 29, 2023
Buku ini menyenaraikan cara-cara bagaimana kita dapat melakukan perubahan diri dan disertakan dengan beberapa kisah dan kajian yang telah dijalankan penulis / rakan penulis / pengkaji lain. Tip-tipnya saya rasa ramai sudah tahu dan berkemungkinan sudah mengamalkannya. Apapun cara yang dilakukan, penulis menekankan ianya perlu konsisten. Sampai masa cara yang kita lakukan itu tidak lagi memberi impak / kesan pada kita, carilah cara yang baru untuk menanganinya kerana hidup setiap individu sentiasa diiringi cubaan dan rintangan.
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