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I Cannot Control Everything Forever: A Memoir of Motherhood, Science, and Art
An eloquent and intimate debut memoir about navigating the gap between expectation and reality in modern motherhood.
I Cannot Control Everything Forever is Emily Bloom’s journey towards and through motherhood, a path that has become, for the average woman, laden with data and medical technology. Emily faces decisions regarding genetic testing and diagnosis, technologies that offer the illusion of certainty but carry the weight of hard decisions. Her desire to know more thrusts her back into the history of science, as she traces the discoveries that impacted the modern state of pregnancy and motherhood. With the birth of their daughter, who is diagnosed with congenital deafness and later, Type 1 diabetes, Emily and her husband find their life centered around medical data, devices, and doctor’s visits, but also made richer and fuller by parenting an exceptional child.
As Emily learns, technology and data do not reduce the labor of caretaking. These things often fall, as the pandemic starkly revealed, on mothers. Trying to find a way out of the loneliness and individualism of 21st century parenthood, Emily finds joy in reaching outwards, towards art and literature–such as the maternal messiness of Louise Bourgeois or Greek myths about the power of fate–as well as the collective sustenance of friends and community.
With lyrical and enchanting prose, I Cannot Control Everything Forever is an inspired meditation on art, science, and motherhood.
I Cannot Control Everything Forever is Emily Bloom’s journey towards and through motherhood, a path that has become, for the average woman, laden with data and medical technology. Emily faces decisions regarding genetic testing and diagnosis, technologies that offer the illusion of certainty but carry the weight of hard decisions. Her desire to know more thrusts her back into the history of science, as she traces the discoveries that impacted the modern state of pregnancy and motherhood. With the birth of their daughter, who is diagnosed with congenital deafness and later, Type 1 diabetes, Emily and her husband find their life centered around medical data, devices, and doctor’s visits, but also made richer and fuller by parenting an exceptional child.
As Emily learns, technology and data do not reduce the labor of caretaking. These things often fall, as the pandemic starkly revealed, on mothers. Trying to find a way out of the loneliness and individualism of 21st century parenthood, Emily finds joy in reaching outwards, towards art and literature–such as the maternal messiness of Louise Bourgeois or Greek myths about the power of fate–as well as the collective sustenance of friends and community.
With lyrical and enchanting prose, I Cannot Control Everything Forever is an inspired meditation on art, science, and motherhood.
352 pages, Hardcover
Published April 16, 2024
88 people are currently reading
10.7k people want to read
About the author
Emily C. Bloom
2books22followersEmily Bloom is a Mellon Public Humanities Fellow at Sarah Lawrence College, where she teaches literature. She also coordinates lifelong learning programs at the Wartburg Adult Care Community in Mount Vernon, NY. Her book The Wireless Past: Anglo-Irish Writers and the BBC, 1931-1968 (Oxford University Press, 2016) was awarded the First Book Prize by the Modernist Studies Association. She has previously taught at Columbia University, the US Air Force Academy, and Georgia State University. She lives with her family in New York City.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 74 reviews
August 20, 2024
An insightful memoir that underscores the relationship between science and motherhood in the 21st century. 🧪👶
Watch my for more books on AI, advanced tech & sex bots. 👀
"If anything, advances in the science and technology of bringing children into the world and caring for them have raised the stakes of what it means to be a good mother."
In her debut memoir, Emily C. Bloom charts her journey toward and through motherhood while closely examining how new technologies offer aspiring parents a wealth of information but also greatly impact and complicate the modern state of pregnancy and motherhood.
Bloom and her partner encountered many hurdles on their way to parenthood, and when they finally welcomed a baby girl into the world, she was diagnosed with a disability and a disease that completely upended their lives. This prompted Bloom to dig into the history of science and trace the discoveries that brought us to this age of pregnancy and parenthood.
She writes about genetic testing, using IVF to design future children, and a possible future in which the need for biological motherhood is erased altogether. She also delves into advancements that have made it easier to manage diabetes, and because her daughter is deaf, she writes at length about cochlear implants (a device that allows deaf people to hear, sort of).
At the heart of this book is the revelation that these advancements in tech merely create the illusion of things being easier. Time and again, Bloom reveals how each tech fix to one problem introduces a slew of new problems and greatly increases the pressure put on parents.
Throughout her tumultuous journey, Bloom turned to art and literature to ground herself in her new reality. The result is a deeply personal, insightful, and enlightening memoir on the relationships between science and modern motherhood. Highly recommend.
My deepest gratitude to the generous folks at for sending me a finished copy of this book at my request.
�
ORIGINAL POST 👇
This ranks high on my list of most anticipated reads. 📙👀
Said to be a lyrically written meditation on art, science, and motherhood. Could this be a contender for the 2025 Women's Prize for Non-Fiction?
This debut memoir is about "navigating the gap between expectation and reality in modern motherhood."
As Emily C. Bloom journeys closer toward motherhood, she's confronted with how technology has entangled itself with pregnancy, which prompts her to explore the historical evolution of the relationship between technology and motherhood.
When her daughter is born with congenital deafness and later receives a diagnosis of type 1 diabetes, "Emily and her husband find their life centered around medical data, devices, and doctor’s visits, but also made richer and fuller by parenting an exceptional child."
Technology does not make parenting easier, so to combat the loneliness of 21st century parenthood, Emily turns to "art and literature–such as the maternal messiness of Louise Bourgeois or Greek myths about the power of fate–as well as the collective sustenance of friends and community.
Sounds like a beautiful tapestry. Looking forward to this book!
Watch my for more books on AI, advanced tech & sex bots. 👀
"If anything, advances in the science and technology of bringing children into the world and caring for them have raised the stakes of what it means to be a good mother."
In her debut memoir, Emily C. Bloom charts her journey toward and through motherhood while closely examining how new technologies offer aspiring parents a wealth of information but also greatly impact and complicate the modern state of pregnancy and motherhood.
Bloom and her partner encountered many hurdles on their way to parenthood, and when they finally welcomed a baby girl into the world, she was diagnosed with a disability and a disease that completely upended their lives. This prompted Bloom to dig into the history of science and trace the discoveries that brought us to this age of pregnancy and parenthood.
She writes about genetic testing, using IVF to design future children, and a possible future in which the need for biological motherhood is erased altogether. She also delves into advancements that have made it easier to manage diabetes, and because her daughter is deaf, she writes at length about cochlear implants (a device that allows deaf people to hear, sort of).
At the heart of this book is the revelation that these advancements in tech merely create the illusion of things being easier. Time and again, Bloom reveals how each tech fix to one problem introduces a slew of new problems and greatly increases the pressure put on parents.
Throughout her tumultuous journey, Bloom turned to art and literature to ground herself in her new reality. The result is a deeply personal, insightful, and enlightening memoir on the relationships between science and modern motherhood. Highly recommend.
My deepest gratitude to the generous folks at for sending me a finished copy of this book at my request.
�
ORIGINAL POST 👇
This ranks high on my list of most anticipated reads. 📙👀
Said to be a lyrically written meditation on art, science, and motherhood. Could this be a contender for the 2025 Women's Prize for Non-Fiction?
This debut memoir is about "navigating the gap between expectation and reality in modern motherhood."
As Emily C. Bloom journeys closer toward motherhood, she's confronted with how technology has entangled itself with pregnancy, which prompts her to explore the historical evolution of the relationship between technology and motherhood.
When her daughter is born with congenital deafness and later receives a diagnosis of type 1 diabetes, "Emily and her husband find their life centered around medical data, devices, and doctor’s visits, but also made richer and fuller by parenting an exceptional child."
Technology does not make parenting easier, so to combat the loneliness of 21st century parenthood, Emily turns to "art and literature–such as the maternal messiness of Louise Bourgeois or Greek myths about the power of fate–as well as the collective sustenance of friends and community.
Sounds like a beautiful tapestry. Looking forward to this book!
October 28, 2024
Mixed feelings on this one prevent me from giving it more stars, but it was still worth the read.
Full review:
[T] he gods who govern our affairs Arrange them unpredictably: What we expect does not occur, For some god always finds a way To bring about the unforeseen. —EURIPIDES� MEDEA, SUNG BY THE WOMEN OF CORINTH p4
Three (or more) things I loved:
1. I adore how unromantic this author is about pregnancy. This is refreshing to me. Pregnancy tests only remain memorable if you don’t take too many. If you buy them in bulk packages and test and retest, each result loses its power to shock and awe. After more than a few pregnancies that don’t come to term, you forget which test you took where. p20
2. I felt the baby kick. Unmistakable. The quickening. A strange lurching in what I might have called my stomach, but now must think of as my womb. p40 What a wild description, and also the one I've ever read of pregnancy that I really comprehend in a visceral way.
3. This was week thirteen , the same time that the last pregnancy suddenly ended. Like eating a forbidden soft cheese, this was one of the preventable dangers that was easier to focus on� here I could assign blame to myself as the cause of the misfortune. There was a moment of calm before the needle came out again and I felt more of the familiar cramping. p57 How real is this book? In all the mother narratives I've ever heard or read, none told the undramatic truth of amniocentesis. It hurts. It's dangerous. Its avoided, if possible.
4. I want to meet Alex! He is the author's disabled brother, whom she clearly loves to pieces.This book taught me a lot about advocating for IDD (intellectual or developmental disabled) folks.
5. My favorite part of this book is when she talks about her disabled daughter and her work to understand her daughter better, and make the best choices for her.
Three (or less) things I didn't love:
This section isn't only for criticisms. It's merely for items that I felt something for other than "love" or some interpretation thereof.
1. She really fluffed the subject of genetic counseling flirting with genocide, which kinds of surprises me, but also doesn't since people just don't understand disability if they are not disabled. I had already made the decision that Pompe Disease would have prevented a child from having the quality of life that I felt was necessary to bring someone into the world. But quality of life was an unstable benchmark. How could I quantify Alex’s quality of life? Or the quality that his life gave to mine? While I thought that I was capable of raising a child with an intellectual or developmental disability, many parents would not feel like they could handle it. Defensive as I am of Alex and the value of his life, the principle of choice rests on the right to make decisions that might differ from my own. Who am I to judge? p Who am I to judge? Someone who knows the value of my life, despite becoming disabled. Who are you to judge, author? Who *are* you to judge?
2. Mothers really didn’t do much, according to my mother. Her four children were all the people that they were going to be without much doing on her part. Including Alex. p84 Uhm, yes, well except all the scientific evidence to the contrary disagrees. Like so much. Also, Alex is the author's disabled brother.
Rating: 🧬🧬🧬🧬 /5 double helixes
Recommend? Yes
Finished: Oct 26 '24
Format: Digital arc, NetGalley
Read this book if you like:
🧬 popular science
🗣 memoir
👨👩👧� family stories, family drama
🦻 hearing impaired rep
Thank you to the author Emily C. Bloom, publishers St. Martin's Press, and NetGalley for an advance digital copy of I Cannot Control Everything Forever. All views are mine.
Full review:
[T] he gods who govern our affairs Arrange them unpredictably: What we expect does not occur, For some god always finds a way To bring about the unforeseen. —EURIPIDES� MEDEA, SUNG BY THE WOMEN OF CORINTH p4
Three (or more) things I loved:
1. I adore how unromantic this author is about pregnancy. This is refreshing to me. Pregnancy tests only remain memorable if you don’t take too many. If you buy them in bulk packages and test and retest, each result loses its power to shock and awe. After more than a few pregnancies that don’t come to term, you forget which test you took where. p20
2. I felt the baby kick. Unmistakable. The quickening. A strange lurching in what I might have called my stomach, but now must think of as my womb. p40 What a wild description, and also the one I've ever read of pregnancy that I really comprehend in a visceral way.
3. This was week thirteen , the same time that the last pregnancy suddenly ended. Like eating a forbidden soft cheese, this was one of the preventable dangers that was easier to focus on� here I could assign blame to myself as the cause of the misfortune. There was a moment of calm before the needle came out again and I felt more of the familiar cramping. p57 How real is this book? In all the mother narratives I've ever heard or read, none told the undramatic truth of amniocentesis. It hurts. It's dangerous. Its avoided, if possible.
4. I want to meet Alex! He is the author's disabled brother, whom she clearly loves to pieces.This book taught me a lot about advocating for IDD (intellectual or developmental disabled) folks.
5. My favorite part of this book is when she talks about her disabled daughter and her work to understand her daughter better, and make the best choices for her.
Three (or less) things I didn't love:
This section isn't only for criticisms. It's merely for items that I felt something for other than "love" or some interpretation thereof.
1. She really fluffed the subject of genetic counseling flirting with genocide, which kinds of surprises me, but also doesn't since people just don't understand disability if they are not disabled. I had already made the decision that Pompe Disease would have prevented a child from having the quality of life that I felt was necessary to bring someone into the world. But quality of life was an unstable benchmark. How could I quantify Alex’s quality of life? Or the quality that his life gave to mine? While I thought that I was capable of raising a child with an intellectual or developmental disability, many parents would not feel like they could handle it. Defensive as I am of Alex and the value of his life, the principle of choice rests on the right to make decisions that might differ from my own. Who am I to judge? p Who am I to judge? Someone who knows the value of my life, despite becoming disabled. Who are you to judge, author? Who *are* you to judge?
2. Mothers really didn’t do much, according to my mother. Her four children were all the people that they were going to be without much doing on her part. Including Alex. p84 Uhm, yes, well except all the scientific evidence to the contrary disagrees. Like so much. Also, Alex is the author's disabled brother.
Rating: 🧬🧬🧬🧬 /5 double helixes
Recommend? Yes
Finished: Oct 26 '24
Format: Digital arc, NetGalley
Read this book if you like:
🧬 popular science
🗣 memoir
👨👩👧� family stories, family drama
🦻 hearing impaired rep
Thank you to the author Emily C. Bloom, publishers St. Martin's Press, and NetGalley for an advance digital copy of I Cannot Control Everything Forever. All views are mine.
August 18, 2023
Stunning and innovatively structured memoir. The narrative follows a mother through a tumultuous pregnancy and difficult motherhood; as the author discusses her own experiences, she introduces the history of technologies, social constructs, normative labels, philosophy, literature, and people (including historical figures) that have inadvertently shaped her life and her outlook while she undergoes her journey. I LOVE this format. Not only are many of the facts fascinating, but Bloom also introduces them in a way that reminds readers of the commonalities of the human experience. We lift many inventors, thinkers, and writers onto pedestals; in doing so, we forget that their personal and familial struggles are similar to ours; we are all just an interconnected web of people that influence each other in minor but inevitably consequential ways. I greatly appreciate the diversity in topics and people that Bloom did deep dives on--not everything in our lives can be traced back to a bearded man in a lab; the single mothers and unrespected artists have changed worlds too.
Bloom's narrative is made more compelling and arguably more colorful due to her inclusion of the aforementioned historical facts. Her prose is beautiful, but if it was solely focused on her and her daughter, I can see how the writing could quickly become stale. Instead, Bloom reminds us that even in the most private of relationships, there are millions of people (spanning many miles and many generations) who also have a hand in our happiness.
Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the eARC. All thoughts were my own. I'm looking forward to buying myself a physical copy on April 16th so I can highlight and notate and truly do this book justice.
Bloom's narrative is made more compelling and arguably more colorful due to her inclusion of the aforementioned historical facts. Her prose is beautiful, but if it was solely focused on her and her daughter, I can see how the writing could quickly become stale. Instead, Bloom reminds us that even in the most private of relationships, there are millions of people (spanning many miles and many generations) who also have a hand in our happiness.
Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the eARC. All thoughts were my own. I'm looking forward to buying myself a physical copy on April 16th so I can highlight and notate and truly do this book justice.
March 29, 2025
"The language that Dr. Patel used was vague—more information was better, she said. You can make an informed decision, she repeated. But information is not neutral. It is a loaded gun cocked in the first act of a play."
As a new mom and a self-professed control freak, this one caught my attention.
A mix of science and memoir, the author goes over her experiences being pregnant and giving birth to a daughter with various health challenges and how science is improving but also not improving their lives.
The thing I love about this book is just how straightforward and unromantic it talks about being pregnant and motherhood, and I found some of the science history really interesting. Especially when thinking about all of the choices presented to me during my pregnancy about what we could find out and what we chose to do or not to do is fascinating to think about especially since so much of this information is newly available.
Also Alex is kind of the star in my opinion.
But there were lots of times I was just rolling my eyes at some of the opinions, too, so it is hard for me to give it more than 3 stars.
December 9, 2024
In I Cannot Control Everything Forever, writer Emily Bloom writes about her difficult path to motherhood, including the discovery that both she and her husband were carriers for a severe genetic disease (Bloom syndrome) that led to the elective termination of one affected pregnancy, and the challenges that followed after welcoming her daughter, who has congenital hearing loss and type 1 diabetes. Bloom, who holds a PhD in English, writes about the largely-foreign-to-her medical world she navigated through her pregnancies and via her daughter with special needs with a cynicism, pessimism and a huge chip on her shoulder I found largely off-putting (though sometimes this attitude was justified). She seems to liken those who practice genetics today as neo-eugenicists (as a physician practicing in this area, this was offensive to me), and makes flippant comments like how she would have had a much better abortion experience if her own familiar gynecologist could have performed the procedure rather than referring her to a different provider (apparently ignorant of the fact that abortion providers take on nontrivial amounts of professional and personal risk, including to their own and their families' safety, which is why so many OBGYNs don't perform surgical abortions themselves).
While I don't doubt the challenges she and her family have faced and the immense love she has for her daughter, I found myself alternately sympathetic and annoyed through this largely-overwrought 12 hour audiobook/352 page memoir.
Further reading: memoirs of parents raising children with special needs
by Heather Lanier
by Magda Newman
My statistics:
Book 298 for 2024
Book 1901 cumulatively
While I don't doubt the challenges she and her family have faced and the immense love she has for her daughter, I found myself alternately sympathetic and annoyed through this largely-overwrought 12 hour audiobook/352 page memoir.
Further reading: memoirs of parents raising children with special needs
by Heather Lanier
by Magda Newman
My statistics:
Book 298 for 2024
Book 1901 cumulatively
August 23, 2023
I'm so glad Bloom wrote her memoir about motherhood. I always enjoy that genre and was pleasantly surprised at how good this story flowed. Bloom writes in a very open and honest way. This drew me in and I was invested in what she had to say. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. Love the title and the cover as well!
August 20, 2023
The pressures of motherhood.
Emily writes of the pressures of motherhood, "failed" pregnancy, "successful" pregnancy, feelings of inadequacy as a woman in the workforce, and so many other struggles faced by women. I wish I had read this before having my children. As I was reading, I was remembering some of the things my friends and I faced as young parents.
I agree with and wonder why so many people see deafness as something to be grieved. I have deaf friends who say they would never want to hear and deal with the issues hearing people have. I applaud Emily for sharing her story and her use of all the medical facts and interesting information she did.
I was given the opportunity to read this book by NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.
Emily writes of the pressures of motherhood, "failed" pregnancy, "successful" pregnancy, feelings of inadequacy as a woman in the workforce, and so many other struggles faced by women. I wish I had read this before having my children. As I was reading, I was remembering some of the things my friends and I faced as young parents.
I agree with and wonder why so many people see deafness as something to be grieved. I have deaf friends who say they would never want to hear and deal with the issues hearing people have. I applaud Emily for sharing her story and her use of all the medical facts and interesting information she did.
I was given the opportunity to read this book by NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.
October 31, 2023
This memoir is about Emily's experience with motherhood. It discusses everything that she went through in order to prepare to have a child. There were a lot of obstacles that Emily and her husband had to overcome. This book also explains how technology is continuously improving when it comes to pregnancy. It is interesting that it is possible to find out information regarding the genetics of a fetus. Throughout this book, Emily has to learn to adapt as unexpected things occur within her family.
One thing that I really enjoyed about this book is how Emily made the best out of every situation. She never gave up when something unexpected happened to her.
I would recommend this book since it shows you how to remain positive even in difficult times. Thank you for the chance to read an advance copy of the book.
One thing that I really enjoyed about this book is how Emily made the best out of every situation. She never gave up when something unexpected happened to her.
I would recommend this book since it shows you how to remain positive even in difficult times. Thank you for the chance to read an advance copy of the book.
September 13, 2023
I Cannot Control Everything Forever is a beautifully written memoir. The author describes the many challenges that she has overcome with great perseverance including navigating a dual career in academics, infertility, and having a child with multiple complex medical issues. In addition to telling her own story she weaves in very well researched history, science and art. I really enjoyed this book although I felt that sometimes tangents were included that could have been more brief.
Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
March 17, 2025
(review to come)
January 25, 2025
A captivating account of a woman’s raw experience with pregnancy, motherhood, receiving diagnoses, navigating the US healthcare system, and the good & bad of technological advances relating to pregnancy and said diagnoses. Emily seamlessly ties it all to art, literature, and science in such a fascinating way. A wonderfully unique read!
April 25, 2025
There is something so beautiful and traumatizing about giving your life over to your child. When the unpredictable happens in pregnancies and genetic disorders and just when life happens in general, it is so important to give yourself some grace, and say to yourself, I cannot control everything forever.
I loved how the author relied on science and art to help make sense of everything that was happening. I learned so much
I loved how the author relied on science and art to help make sense of everything that was happening. I learned so much
August 25, 2023
Synopsis (From Netgalley, the provider of the book to review)
An eloquent and intimate debut memoir about navigating the gap between expectation and reality in modern motherhood.
I Cannot Control Everything Forever is Emily Bloom’s journey towards and through motherhood, a path that has become, for the average woman, laden with data and medical technology. Emily faces decisions regarding genetic testing and diagnosis, technologies that offer the illusion of certainty but carry the weight of hard decisions.
Her desire to know more thrusts her back into the history of science, as she traces the discoveries that impacted the modern state of pregnancy and motherhood. With the birth of their daughter, who is diagnosed with congenital deafness and later, Type 1 diabetes, Emily and her husband find their life centred around medical data, devices, and doctor’s visits, but also made richer and fuller by parenting an exceptional child.
As Emily learns, technology and data do not reduce the labour of caretaking. These things often fall, as the pandemic starkly revealed, on mothers. Trying to find a way out of the loneliness and individualism of 21st-century parenthood, Emily finds joy in reaching outwards, towards art and literature–such as the maternal messiness of Louise Bourgeois or Greek myths about the power of fate–as well as the collective sustenance of friends and community.
With lyrical and enchanting prose, I Cannot Control Everything Forever is an inspired meditation on art, science, and motherhood.
Motherhood is not for wimps... and NO ONE that I know has ever said “This is what I expected� but almost everyone has said, “This is so much harder than I thought that it would be!� I love the expression the author uses “EXCEPTIONAL CHILD� � no special needs. Not different. Not difficult.
Motherhood seems to be about science these days --- tests our mothers never dreamt of occurring (ultrasounds, which are like a $2000 a pop blob-baby photo and not needed in most cases but are now expected to be the norm) can bring results that require hard questions and answers.
IT DRIVES ME CRAZY WHEN SOMEONE SAYS, “I DON’T CARE IF IT IS A BOY OR A GIRL ***AS LONG AS THEY’RE HEALTHY***!� � I got into a huge argument at a baby shower over that comment as I asked the person what they would do if they got a child with medical issues � did they not want them then? Did their child have to be perfect? Could they handle a child that wasn’t Instagram-ready-perfect??? ……COULD YOU DEAL WITH AN EXCEPTIONAL CHILD??????
This book will incite a lot of questions in you whether you are pre-children, pregnant, a new parent, a parent of older children or well past having children and questioning YOUR MOTHER and her actions and behaviours. This is a STARTLING BOOK � all I can say is read it and expect your mind to be blown.
#shortbutsweetreviews
An eloquent and intimate debut memoir about navigating the gap between expectation and reality in modern motherhood.
I Cannot Control Everything Forever is Emily Bloom’s journey towards and through motherhood, a path that has become, for the average woman, laden with data and medical technology. Emily faces decisions regarding genetic testing and diagnosis, technologies that offer the illusion of certainty but carry the weight of hard decisions.
Her desire to know more thrusts her back into the history of science, as she traces the discoveries that impacted the modern state of pregnancy and motherhood. With the birth of their daughter, who is diagnosed with congenital deafness and later, Type 1 diabetes, Emily and her husband find their life centred around medical data, devices, and doctor’s visits, but also made richer and fuller by parenting an exceptional child.
As Emily learns, technology and data do not reduce the labour of caretaking. These things often fall, as the pandemic starkly revealed, on mothers. Trying to find a way out of the loneliness and individualism of 21st-century parenthood, Emily finds joy in reaching outwards, towards art and literature–such as the maternal messiness of Louise Bourgeois or Greek myths about the power of fate–as well as the collective sustenance of friends and community.
With lyrical and enchanting prose, I Cannot Control Everything Forever is an inspired meditation on art, science, and motherhood.
Motherhood is not for wimps... and NO ONE that I know has ever said “This is what I expected� but almost everyone has said, “This is so much harder than I thought that it would be!� I love the expression the author uses “EXCEPTIONAL CHILD� � no special needs. Not different. Not difficult.
Motherhood seems to be about science these days --- tests our mothers never dreamt of occurring (ultrasounds, which are like a $2000 a pop blob-baby photo and not needed in most cases but are now expected to be the norm) can bring results that require hard questions and answers.
IT DRIVES ME CRAZY WHEN SOMEONE SAYS, “I DON’T CARE IF IT IS A BOY OR A GIRL ***AS LONG AS THEY’RE HEALTHY***!� � I got into a huge argument at a baby shower over that comment as I asked the person what they would do if they got a child with medical issues � did they not want them then? Did their child have to be perfect? Could they handle a child that wasn’t Instagram-ready-perfect??? ……COULD YOU DEAL WITH AN EXCEPTIONAL CHILD??????
This book will incite a lot of questions in you whether you are pre-children, pregnant, a new parent, a parent of older children or well past having children and questioning YOUR MOTHER and her actions and behaviours. This is a STARTLING BOOK � all I can say is read it and expect your mind to be blown.
#shortbutsweetreviews
August 19, 2023
"I Cannot Control Everything Forever: A Memoir of Motherhood, Science, and Art" by Emily C. Bloom is a poignant and introspective journey that navigates the complex realm of motherhood, entwined with the realms of science and art. Through Emily Bloom's personal experience, the memoir delves into the intricacies of modern motherhood, which is often intertwined with a landscape laden with medical technology, data, and profound decisions.
At the heart of the memoir lies Emily's exploration of her path towards motherhood, a path increasingly influenced by medical advancements and choices. The narrative revolves around her decisions regarding genetic testing and diagnosis, reflecting the intricate balance between the illusion of certainty and the weight of the difficult choices these technologies present. This contemplative journey propels Emily to delve into the annals of scientific history, tracing the discoveries that have fundamentally shaped the contemporary experience of pregnancy and motherhood.
The birth of Emily and her husband's daughter, diagnosed with congenital deafness and later Type 1 diabetes, introduces them to a world centered around medical data, devices, and an array of doctor's appointments. Amidst the challenges and complexities, Emily discovers that technology and data, while valuable tools, do not alleviate the profound labor of caretaking, particularly when it comes to mothers—a reality starkly highlighted by the pandemic. This realization serves as a catalyst for Emily's quest to transcend the solitude and individualism often associated with 21st-century parenthood.
The memoir resonates with a lyrical and enchanting prose that underscores the profound intertwining of art, science, and motherhood. Emily's exploration extends beyond the realms of medical technology as she finds solace and insight in the realms of art and literature. The maternal complexities of artists like Louise Bourgeois and the timeless power of Greek myths offer her a lens through which to interpret her own experiences. Moreover, the memoir highlights the significance of forging connections with friends and community, which become wellsprings of collective sustenance in the face of challenges.
"I Cannot Control Everything Forever" stands as an inspired meditation that weaves together the threads of motherhood, science, and art. Through Emily C. Bloom's introspective prose, readers are invited to contemplate the intricate tapestry of modern motherhood, replete with its joys, challenges, and the intersections of medical technology and human emotion. This review merely scratches the surface of the memoir's depth and emotional resonance, making it a must-read for those seeking a profound exploration of the complexities of motherhood and the ways in which it intersects with the realms of science and art.
At the heart of the memoir lies Emily's exploration of her path towards motherhood, a path increasingly influenced by medical advancements and choices. The narrative revolves around her decisions regarding genetic testing and diagnosis, reflecting the intricate balance between the illusion of certainty and the weight of the difficult choices these technologies present. This contemplative journey propels Emily to delve into the annals of scientific history, tracing the discoveries that have fundamentally shaped the contemporary experience of pregnancy and motherhood.
The birth of Emily and her husband's daughter, diagnosed with congenital deafness and later Type 1 diabetes, introduces them to a world centered around medical data, devices, and an array of doctor's appointments. Amidst the challenges and complexities, Emily discovers that technology and data, while valuable tools, do not alleviate the profound labor of caretaking, particularly when it comes to mothers—a reality starkly highlighted by the pandemic. This realization serves as a catalyst for Emily's quest to transcend the solitude and individualism often associated with 21st-century parenthood.
The memoir resonates with a lyrical and enchanting prose that underscores the profound intertwining of art, science, and motherhood. Emily's exploration extends beyond the realms of medical technology as she finds solace and insight in the realms of art and literature. The maternal complexities of artists like Louise Bourgeois and the timeless power of Greek myths offer her a lens through which to interpret her own experiences. Moreover, the memoir highlights the significance of forging connections with friends and community, which become wellsprings of collective sustenance in the face of challenges.
"I Cannot Control Everything Forever" stands as an inspired meditation that weaves together the threads of motherhood, science, and art. Through Emily C. Bloom's introspective prose, readers are invited to contemplate the intricate tapestry of modern motherhood, replete with its joys, challenges, and the intersections of medical technology and human emotion. This review merely scratches the surface of the memoir's depth and emotional resonance, making it a must-read for those seeking a profound exploration of the complexities of motherhood and the ways in which it intersects with the realms of science and art.
April 2, 2024
I Cannot Control Everything Forever is a beautifully crafted memoir on pregnancy and motherhood which seamlessly incorporates art, science, history, literature, and philosophy. The title of this memoir alone was enough to draw me in, as it is a statement I could personally stand to remind myself of regularly. The reflective writing and diverse subject matter kept me reading.
Bloom's memoir centers on her experiences with pregnancy, miscarriage, motherhood, and the various challenges she encountered with them. Bloom also touches upon themes such as caregiver fatigue, proximity to disability, and the gendered division of labor in marriage and childrearing. Her writing is refreshingly self-aware and steeped in internal contemplation. My favorite parts were reading about Bloom's thought processes and the research she did when making important decisions, such as deciding whether to get genetic testing done for reproductive reasons.
I particularly enjoyed Bloom's acknowledgment that while many obstacles she faced were difficult and daunting, her privilege made her life experiences very different than those of poor, non-white, women without the kind of support systems she had. I also loved reading about her exploration of disability justice and Deaf culture, but would have liked to read a bit more about her inner thoughts and reckoning with the oralist vs manualist debate, similarly to how she grappled with the bioethics of genetic testing.
I thoroughly enjoyed how Bloom leveraged scientific history, mythology, etymology, and modern art to further explore and draw parallels to her own thoughts and feelings throughout her life. A memoir with citations is a memoir after my own heart. The image of a mother as a chimera will not leave my mind anytime soon. I would wholeheartedly recommend I Cannot Control Everything Forever to mothers, but it can be just as completely enjoyed by those who do not have children (such as myself).
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with a digital copy in exchange for my review.
Bloom's memoir centers on her experiences with pregnancy, miscarriage, motherhood, and the various challenges she encountered with them. Bloom also touches upon themes such as caregiver fatigue, proximity to disability, and the gendered division of labor in marriage and childrearing. Her writing is refreshingly self-aware and steeped in internal contemplation. My favorite parts were reading about Bloom's thought processes and the research she did when making important decisions, such as deciding whether to get genetic testing done for reproductive reasons.
I particularly enjoyed Bloom's acknowledgment that while many obstacles she faced were difficult and daunting, her privilege made her life experiences very different than those of poor, non-white, women without the kind of support systems she had. I also loved reading about her exploration of disability justice and Deaf culture, but would have liked to read a bit more about her inner thoughts and reckoning with the oralist vs manualist debate, similarly to how she grappled with the bioethics of genetic testing.
I thoroughly enjoyed how Bloom leveraged scientific history, mythology, etymology, and modern art to further explore and draw parallels to her own thoughts and feelings throughout her life. A memoir with citations is a memoir after my own heart. The image of a mother as a chimera will not leave my mind anytime soon. I would wholeheartedly recommend I Cannot Control Everything Forever to mothers, but it can be just as completely enjoyed by those who do not have children (such as myself).
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with a digital copy in exchange for my review.
September 9, 2023
I Cannot Control Everything Forever. First, I want to acknowledge how spot on the name of this book is when it comes to motherhood. Emily C. Bloom's novel about her own experiences in motherhood allows readers to take a journey with her through different milestones in her life while also delving into history.
When first starting this book I wasn't sure if I would enjoy it because although I really enjoy art, I am not familiar with much outside of the most famous works. Thankfully, this is not really what's relevant. It's the story telling of Bloom in how she sees the art, experiences it, and how she weaves in the history of art and science (and really technology) in her novel. One example of this is the life of Alexander Graham Bell and his inventions related to helping the hearing impaired. While Bloom allows us into her experiences related to hearing loss in her husband and daughter, we also get to learn about Bell's wife and mother who were also hearing-impaired.
The book beautifully explored disabilities that impacted Bloom's life including her brother Alex's intellectual disability, her husband and daughter's hearing loss, and her daughter's type-1 diabetes diagnosis. I enjoyed this empathic perspective of the daily lives of families faced with these challenges. Her reflections on decision making for your family and children really strikes a chord that I'm sure all mothers can relate to. I'm glad Bloom followed her passion to write and found a way to persevere in the face of adversity. Especially during the pandemic.
I would put a trigger warning related to pregnancy loss and termination for medication reasons (TFMR) in case anyone is sensitive to these topics. There is nothing graphic related to this, but is obviously an important part of Bloom's motherhood journey.
Thank you so much to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for an ARC of this book! I really enjoyed it and hope others do too.
When first starting this book I wasn't sure if I would enjoy it because although I really enjoy art, I am not familiar with much outside of the most famous works. Thankfully, this is not really what's relevant. It's the story telling of Bloom in how she sees the art, experiences it, and how she weaves in the history of art and science (and really technology) in her novel. One example of this is the life of Alexander Graham Bell and his inventions related to helping the hearing impaired. While Bloom allows us into her experiences related to hearing loss in her husband and daughter, we also get to learn about Bell's wife and mother who were also hearing-impaired.
The book beautifully explored disabilities that impacted Bloom's life including her brother Alex's intellectual disability, her husband and daughter's hearing loss, and her daughter's type-1 diabetes diagnosis. I enjoyed this empathic perspective of the daily lives of families faced with these challenges. Her reflections on decision making for your family and children really strikes a chord that I'm sure all mothers can relate to. I'm glad Bloom followed her passion to write and found a way to persevere in the face of adversity. Especially during the pandemic.
I would put a trigger warning related to pregnancy loss and termination for medication reasons (TFMR) in case anyone is sensitive to these topics. There is nothing graphic related to this, but is obviously an important part of Bloom's motherhood journey.
Thank you so much to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for an ARC of this book! I really enjoyed it and hope others do too.
March 2, 2024
Thank you to St. Martin’s Press, Net Galley and the author for the e-galley! This may be an example of “right book, wrong time� for me. I read this very recently, while I was still pregnant. It’s also notable that I am married to a Deaf person, so between the themes of pregnancy, motherhood and deafness, you’d think this the perfect book for me. However, I was burnt out on all things pregnancy when I read it, so I would like to come back another time. This book is for you IF you’re ready to dive into a beautifully-spun web of experience and data related to pregnancy, motherhood and both mental and physical health.
The author is incredibly talented; her profound insights were written beautifully and her expository writing was excellent. I personally was just too bogged down with all the fact-telling at the time, but I may pick it up again later. This book serves up both knowledge and nostalgia and will be perfect for the right reader.
The author is incredibly talented; her profound insights were written beautifully and her expository writing was excellent. I personally was just too bogged down with all the fact-telling at the time, but I may pick it up again later. This book serves up both knowledge and nostalgia and will be perfect for the right reader.
August 26, 2023
I really enjoyed Bloom's memoir, and liked how she interwove details from her own life with snippets about specific art and science that relate to her story. I also appreciate how she advocates for the deaf/Deaf and those with diabetes.
This is a literary memoir, and Bloom's writing style is lovely. My only complaint is that she really overused "the-university-one-does=not-turn-down." If I saw this phrase in the second half of the book, I most definitely rolled my eyes.
I was sad when the book ended, because I really was invested and wanted to know how Willie and her parents are doing now--I hope they are all healthy and happy.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review. This book will publish on 4/16/24.
This is a literary memoir, and Bloom's writing style is lovely. My only complaint is that she really overused "the-university-one-does=not-turn-down." If I saw this phrase in the second half of the book, I most definitely rolled my eyes.
I was sad when the book ended, because I really was invested and wanted to know how Willie and her parents are doing now--I hope they are all healthy and happy.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review. This book will publish on 4/16/24.
May 11, 2024
2.5 ⭐️ - this memoir seemed promising but it didn't resonate with me currently. i think the topics are of value and the author connects a lot of pieces but the way of introducing item or person, background research or facts about them, and then tying it into her story felt trite after multiple repetitions of the same writing style.
November 8, 2023
Many thanks to St Martins Press, NetGalley, and Emily Bloom for this advanced copy of the book!
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Thank you Emily for sharing your heart and mind with us! This memoir opened my mind to womanhood, career, motherhood, and healthcare. Emily gave her perspective about her life as a woman who had pregnancy complications and as a mother to a child who has multiple health challenges, while also providing connections with sound evidence from research, which I loved as a nurse who cares deeply about evidence-based practice. I felt strong empathy for Emily regarding the internal struggle she wrestled with juggling motherhood and career. And double respect from me that she did a lot of this during a pandemic! This is a raw, deeply personal dive into the life of a woman whom I did not know before reading this book but now know as someone I can refer back to for inspiration. Emily is truly a strong woman! I highly recommend this book!
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💵📖 Preorder now! It was released on April 16, 2024.
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Thank you Emily for sharing your heart and mind with us! This memoir opened my mind to womanhood, career, motherhood, and healthcare. Emily gave her perspective about her life as a woman who had pregnancy complications and as a mother to a child who has multiple health challenges, while also providing connections with sound evidence from research, which I loved as a nurse who cares deeply about evidence-based practice. I felt strong empathy for Emily regarding the internal struggle she wrestled with juggling motherhood and career. And double respect from me that she did a lot of this during a pandemic! This is a raw, deeply personal dive into the life of a woman whom I did not know before reading this book but now know as someone I can refer back to for inspiration. Emily is truly a strong woman! I highly recommend this book!
�
💵📖 Preorder now! It was released on April 16, 2024.
March 15, 2025
The first half of this book covers the author’s attempt to get pregnant. She has several miscarriages and also terminates a pregnancy, so there’s trauma here. The second half is about the child she does conceive and carry to term, who is born with congenital deafness and diabetes. There’s a lot of compelling material. I had no idea raising a child with diabetes was so difficult. I also didn’t know that DNA from every conception remains in the mother’s body for life. Fascinating. Less fascinating are the “tangents� Bloom spins off on sometimes. I didn’t care about, and was therefore bored by, long sections on Alexander Graham Bell, for example. The author’s an academic, and it often feels like she’s talking down to the reader. But if you can hang in, you will feel satisfied by the story overall. I wish her the best and applaud her bravery in sharing her story.
July 30, 2024
"An eloquent and intimate debut memoir about navigating the gap between expectation and reality in modern motherhood."
Bloom's journey to motherhood begins with miscarriage. Genetic testing reveals that both Bloom & her husband are carriers of a rare genetic disease that decreases the odds of a successful pregnancy. Before she even becomes a mother, there is data & science & courses of action that are unexpected.
& so the book continues. Bloom has her baby, & the baby is Deaf. The baby needs occupational therapy. (My baby needed occupational therapy too for motor delays, & my partner & I had a good time joking about how unjust it was that she needed occupational therapy when she didn't even have an occupation & was contributing nothing toward the bills, haha.) The baby is not thriving. The baby has type 1 diabetes, which needs to be managed very carefully. Apart from being a baby, the baby is medically fragile. Bloom had hoped to have a baby & continue her academic career, but no one is really prepared for life with a baby until they have one. & when that baby has unique medical needs or other unforeseen isssues, it doesn't matter what you hoped for.
This book is beautifully written. Had I read it when my daughter was young, I would have fallen in love with it, & I absolutely recommend it to anyone out there at the beginning of their parenting journey. Five stars for those people. But my daughter is older now & I have a hard time reading books about new parenthood now. As vividly as I remember that feeling of "why didn't anyone tell me?!" I know the reality is that everyone DID tell me. I just wasn't in a place to understand until I was actually in it or past it, & I think that's probably the case for most new parents. This book is a stand-out in that Bloom's writing is truly exquisite, her research & observations are compelling, & her experience is uncommon. But I personally have limited bandwidth for pregnancy/baby stories these days.
Thank you to NetGalley & the publisher for sending me an ARC!
Bloom's journey to motherhood begins with miscarriage. Genetic testing reveals that both Bloom & her husband are carriers of a rare genetic disease that decreases the odds of a successful pregnancy. Before she even becomes a mother, there is data & science & courses of action that are unexpected.
& so the book continues. Bloom has her baby, & the baby is Deaf. The baby needs occupational therapy. (My baby needed occupational therapy too for motor delays, & my partner & I had a good time joking about how unjust it was that she needed occupational therapy when she didn't even have an occupation & was contributing nothing toward the bills, haha.) The baby is not thriving. The baby has type 1 diabetes, which needs to be managed very carefully. Apart from being a baby, the baby is medically fragile. Bloom had hoped to have a baby & continue her academic career, but no one is really prepared for life with a baby until they have one. & when that baby has unique medical needs or other unforeseen isssues, it doesn't matter what you hoped for.
This book is beautifully written. Had I read it when my daughter was young, I would have fallen in love with it, & I absolutely recommend it to anyone out there at the beginning of their parenting journey. Five stars for those people. But my daughter is older now & I have a hard time reading books about new parenthood now. As vividly as I remember that feeling of "why didn't anyone tell me?!" I know the reality is that everyone DID tell me. I just wasn't in a place to understand until I was actually in it or past it, & I think that's probably the case for most new parents. This book is a stand-out in that Bloom's writing is truly exquisite, her research & observations are compelling, & her experience is uncommon. But I personally have limited bandwidth for pregnancy/baby stories these days.
Thank you to NetGalley & the publisher for sending me an ARC!
April 19, 2024
4.5 stars rounded up. A thought-provoking memoir on pregnancy and motherhood. The author details her experiences dealing with pregnancy (and pregnancy loss) as well as raising her daughter who has hearing loss and diabetes. Throughout the book she intersperses history and science to give greater context to her decisions--it kind of reminded me of a combination of a memoir and a Bill Bryson book. Thanks to Netgalley and Macmillan Publishers for the ARC.
September 5, 2024
A beautiful memoir of motherhood, interspersed with science, art, and literature. Bloom captivates and moves with her story as she tells of her journey to motherhood including pregnancy losses and mothering her diabetic, hard of hearing daughter.
This is a wonderfully constructed narrative, examining what it means to be a mother, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Bloom explores the science and history behind many of her topics. Not only is truth important to her, but also her love of art, mythology, and literature which speak volumes about our humanity.
Bloom's personal story is raw and real, opening herself up in ways many of us dare not to. As personal as her story is, it's one that many will be able to relate to. In her willingness to share, she gives us a glimpse into the beauty of being a woman and a mother, and the beautiful work of art that is life.
This is a wonderfully constructed narrative, examining what it means to be a mother, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Bloom explores the science and history behind many of her topics. Not only is truth important to her, but also her love of art, mythology, and literature which speak volumes about our humanity.
Bloom's personal story is raw and real, opening herself up in ways many of us dare not to. As personal as her story is, it's one that many will be able to relate to. In her willingness to share, she gives us a glimpse into the beauty of being a woman and a mother, and the beautiful work of art that is life.
July 1, 2024
A beautiful, engaging blend of memoir and research. I loved this book so much.
September 27, 2024
A memoir about motherhood and making hard decisions that affects present and future. Although I could not relate to her experiences, I appreciated the extensive research the author presented on genetic testing in pregnancy which I learned from. She also has a very lovely voice on the audiobook version.
February 14, 2025
4.5 - At first I really wasn’t sure I would enjoy this book, but something shifted for me and I felt very connected to it.
August 22, 2024
Bloom recounts her pregnancy and the early years of caring for her Deaf and diabetic daughter, interweaving her memories with carefully researched cultural and scientific insights. I am grateful for every book that puts words to the unique experience of living with Type One Diabetes; that this is so beautifully written (!) feels like an added gift.
Highly recommend.
Highly recommend.
July 26, 2024
Bloom’s I Cannot Control Everything Forever is an ode to her journey into parenthood, after years of loss and infertility, the trials of mothering a child with special needs, and the loss of one’s former life. Through art, literature, infertility, and growing up with an older brother with intellectual disabilities, Bloom carves a portrait of a woman bisected by her desires for a child and a career, as well as a person shaped by her experiences with an inequitable society stacked against people with disabilities. The push and pull of maternity and the desire for productive employment tussle Bloom over several years, and she deftly puts into words the feelings that so many women have when facing the motherhood/work dilemma. Moreover, Bloom reminds us that women are the parents relegated to the role of caregiver, often sacrificing their careers, selves, and goals to ensure the health and well-being of their children. The use of literature and art that intersects this memoir further demonstrates how mothering is also simultaneously portrayed as the highest and lowest of responsibilities for women.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 11, 2024
I was so slow getting through this book. I had a little different impression of what this would be about, but I still liked it. I especially related to the "lack of control" related to a path to parenthood.
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