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Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini
Is There a Doctor in the House?
Say you’re at a party. You’ve had a martini or three, and you mingle through the crowd, wondering how long you need to stay before going out for pizza. Suddenly you’re introduced to someone new, Dr. Nice Tomeetya. You forget the pizza. Now is the perfect time to bring up all those strange questions you’d like to ask during an office visit with your own doctor but haven’t had the guts (or more likely the time) to do so. You’re filled with liquid courage . . . now is your chance! If you’ve ever wanted to ask a doctor . . .
•How do people in wheelchairs have sex?
•Why do I get a killer headache when I suck down my milkshake too fast?
•Can I lose my contact lens inside my head forever?
•Why does asparagus make my pee smell?
•Why do old people grow hair on their ears?
•Is the old adage “beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer . . .� really true?
. . . then Why Do Men Have Nipples? is the book for you.
Compiled by Billy Goldberg, an emergency medicine physician, and Mark Leyner, bestselling author and well-known satirist, Why Do Men Have Nipples? offers real factual and really funny answers to some of the big questions about the oddities of our bodies.
Say you’re at a party. You’ve had a martini or three, and you mingle through the crowd, wondering how long you need to stay before going out for pizza. Suddenly you’re introduced to someone new, Dr. Nice Tomeetya. You forget the pizza. Now is the perfect time to bring up all those strange questions you’d like to ask during an office visit with your own doctor but haven’t had the guts (or more likely the time) to do so. You’re filled with liquid courage . . . now is your chance! If you’ve ever wanted to ask a doctor . . .
•How do people in wheelchairs have sex?
•Why do I get a killer headache when I suck down my milkshake too fast?
•Can I lose my contact lens inside my head forever?
•Why does asparagus make my pee smell?
•Why do old people grow hair on their ears?
•Is the old adage “beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer . . .� really true?
. . . then Why Do Men Have Nipples? is the book for you.
Compiled by Billy Goldberg, an emergency medicine physician, and Mark Leyner, bestselling author and well-known satirist, Why Do Men Have Nipples? offers real factual and really funny answers to some of the big questions about the oddities of our bodies.
224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1995
212 people are currently reading
6,132 people want to read
About the author
Mark Leyner
25books326followersMark Leyner is an American postmodernist author.
Leyner employs an intense and unconventional style in his works of fiction. His stories are generally humorous and absurd: In The Tetherballs of Bougainville, Mark's father survives a lethal injection at the hands of the New Jersey penal system, and so is freed but must live the remainder of his life in fear of being executed, at New Jersey's discretion, in any situation and regardless of collateral damage. They frequently incorporate elements of meta-fiction: In the same novel, an adolescent Mark produces a film adaptation of the story of his father's failed execution, although he reads a newspaper review of the movie to the prison's warden, and then dies, before even leaving the prison. At the sentence level, Leyner uses sprawling imagery and an extravagant vocabulary, bordering on prose poetry.
Leyner has also worked as a columnist for Esquire and George magazines, and as a writer for the MTV program Liquid Television. He also co-wrote and voiced a short-lived series of audio fiction called Wiretap.
Leyner is most famously critiqued in David Foster Wallace's essay "E Unibus Pluram: Television and U.S. Fiction." Despite this and appearances on David Letterman, Leyner remains a cult figure, though this may change as he switches over to the higher profile world of television development. (He has not written any novels for quite some time, presumably in order to devote more time to this new medium.)
Recently Leyner has collaborated with Dr. Billy Goldberg on three humorous, though fact-based, books on medicine.
He is credited with co-authoring the screenplay of War, Inc.
Leyner employs an intense and unconventional style in his works of fiction. His stories are generally humorous and absurd: In The Tetherballs of Bougainville, Mark's father survives a lethal injection at the hands of the New Jersey penal system, and so is freed but must live the remainder of his life in fear of being executed, at New Jersey's discretion, in any situation and regardless of collateral damage. They frequently incorporate elements of meta-fiction: In the same novel, an adolescent Mark produces a film adaptation of the story of his father's failed execution, although he reads a newspaper review of the movie to the prison's warden, and then dies, before even leaving the prison. At the sentence level, Leyner uses sprawling imagery and an extravagant vocabulary, bordering on prose poetry.
Leyner has also worked as a columnist for Esquire and George magazines, and as a writer for the MTV program Liquid Television. He also co-wrote and voiced a short-lived series of audio fiction called Wiretap.
Leyner is most famously critiqued in David Foster Wallace's essay "E Unibus Pluram: Television and U.S. Fiction." Despite this and appearances on David Letterman, Leyner remains a cult figure, though this may change as he switches over to the higher profile world of television development. (He has not written any novels for quite some time, presumably in order to devote more time to this new medium.)
Recently Leyner has collaborated with Dr. Billy Goldberg on three humorous, though fact-based, books on medicine.
He is credited with co-authoring the screenplay of War, Inc.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 741 reviews
September 11, 2020
I picked this one up thinking it might be a fun, fact-filled trivia book along the lines of .
It was not.
The authors try too hard to be clever, filling the book with transcripts of their many conversations about . . . the book. Their needless chit chat, swimming with little nudges and winks, manages to annoy more than it amuses.
Also annoying - the fact that the answers frequently pose more questions which, of course, are never answered by the authors.
Example - Why does your pee smell when you eat asparagus?
Turns out asparagus contains a sulfur compound that's also found in onions and garlic. So, why don't onions and garlic make your pee smell? This book doesn't tell you.
Then there are all the pages wasted on things the authors admit they have no answers for, like - What would really happen if a Junior Mint fell inside someone during surgery, as in the infamous Seinfeld episode?
All in all, this was a very frustrating read. I would have much preferred boring, straightforward scientific responses instead of the lame attempts at humor found in this book.
Take Dr. Melki's advice - If you want to know the answer to an embarrassing medical question . . . refer to Google rather than this book. (Just remember to delete your browsing history.)
It was not.
The authors try too hard to be clever, filling the book with transcripts of their many conversations about . . . the book. Their needless chit chat, swimming with little nudges and winks, manages to annoy more than it amuses.
Also annoying - the fact that the answers frequently pose more questions which, of course, are never answered by the authors.
Example - Why does your pee smell when you eat asparagus?
Turns out asparagus contains a sulfur compound that's also found in onions and garlic. So, why don't onions and garlic make your pee smell? This book doesn't tell you.
Then there are all the pages wasted on things the authors admit they have no answers for, like - What would really happen if a Junior Mint fell inside someone during surgery, as in the infamous Seinfeld episode?
All in all, this was a very frustrating read. I would have much preferred boring, straightforward scientific responses instead of the lame attempts at humor found in this book.
Take Dr. Melki's advice - If you want to know the answer to an embarrassing medical question . . . refer to Google rather than this book. (Just remember to delete your browsing history.)
June 8, 2017
This book is full of weird questions and myths. The author is a doctor who explains why some things happen and why some things are myths. The book is a good sense of humor. However, I listened to this on audiobook and it was read by the author and he was monotoned the whole time. I really struggled through this book.
May 10, 2008
You know, this book is funny. Leyner is writing it. Therefore it is funny. It is really a 3 star book. But I'm punishing it with one star. Why?
Leyner is a modern genius. Tetherballs at Bougainville is a masterpiece. My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist is also a masterpiece. I waited SEVEN long years for him to write something else. Seven long years of silence. But market forces or focus groups or the Devil himself or Americans with hunger for medical trivia have responsibility for this book where a far better book should be instead. This book, Why Do Men Have Nipples, coauthored with Billy Goldberg MD, sold more copies than all of his other great works combined. As far as I'm concerned, this kind of coffee table dogshit is keeping one of the best writers in the world from writing work of substance. I don't know who introduced Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg MD, but if I ever find out, I'm getting my revolver.
You know, I'd love to read his followup book, Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex. I really would. But I will not buy it. The thirst for this kind of shit and the Svengali Billy Goldberg MD are collectively inhibiting one of the best writers in America. And I cannot be party to that.
If you want to read it--if you really must read it--I will give you my copy. Or check it out from the library and snicker at it like a 4th grader looking up profanities in Merriam-Webster. But God help you if you buy this book! If you do, you are potentiating stupidity, inhibiting genius, and hurting America. Nice work, asshole.
Leyner is a modern genius. Tetherballs at Bougainville is a masterpiece. My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist is also a masterpiece. I waited SEVEN long years for him to write something else. Seven long years of silence. But market forces or focus groups or the Devil himself or Americans with hunger for medical trivia have responsibility for this book where a far better book should be instead. This book, Why Do Men Have Nipples, coauthored with Billy Goldberg MD, sold more copies than all of his other great works combined. As far as I'm concerned, this kind of coffee table dogshit is keeping one of the best writers in the world from writing work of substance. I don't know who introduced Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg MD, but if I ever find out, I'm getting my revolver.
You know, I'd love to read his followup book, Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex. I really would. But I will not buy it. The thirst for this kind of shit and the Svengali Billy Goldberg MD are collectively inhibiting one of the best writers in America. And I cannot be party to that.
If you want to read it--if you really must read it--I will give you my copy. Or check it out from the library and snicker at it like a 4th grader looking up profanities in Merriam-Webster. But God help you if you buy this book! If you do, you are potentiating stupidity, inhibiting genius, and hurting America. Nice work, asshole.
December 1, 2007
Did I miss something here? I read the whole book (okay, ALMOST the whole book -- I admit I skipped over the nonsensical instant messaging transcipts that seem to make up the bulk of the text, as well as the silly chapter intros) and I wasn't floored. Or even wowed. Or even that impressed.
There's nothing in this book that you can't find out on your own with an Internet hookup and a brain cell or two to rub together. Most of it is rehashed medical journal articles, and the rest is puffery. And a lot of it was ridiculous! Any mom can tell you that YES, sugar makes kids act up -- even if it isn't scientifically "proven." Any teenager can tell you YES, you can pop certain kinds of zits with virtually no ill effects (what was this weirdo story about causing abcesses in your sinus cavities by squeezing your pimples??? I have NEVER in my 38 years heard of such a thing).
The book seemed to be written more for the authors' enjoyment and entertainment than anything else. Parts of it were downright rude, and the rest was either worthless or unbelievable. Sorry to be so harsh, but I really expected more.
There's nothing in this book that you can't find out on your own with an Internet hookup and a brain cell or two to rub together. Most of it is rehashed medical journal articles, and the rest is puffery. And a lot of it was ridiculous! Any mom can tell you that YES, sugar makes kids act up -- even if it isn't scientifically "proven." Any teenager can tell you YES, you can pop certain kinds of zits with virtually no ill effects (what was this weirdo story about causing abcesses in your sinus cavities by squeezing your pimples??? I have NEVER in my 38 years heard of such a thing).
The book seemed to be written more for the authors' enjoyment and entertainment than anything else. Parts of it were downright rude, and the rest was either worthless or unbelievable. Sorry to be so harsh, but I really expected more.
March 22, 2024
جدای از بیان کردن یه سری فکت ها، تقریبا جواب خاصی نمیداد.
ولی یه سریش خنده دار بودن.
یه چیزی از کتاب اذیتم میکرد که باعث شد خیلی پخش و پرت و با فاصله بخونمش: اون مکالماتشون که وسط متن نوشته بود.
میدونم طنز هم فرهنگیه و فرق داره ولی خب به نظرم اصلا بامزه نبودن.
یه سری سوالاش هم اونا سوال نبودن، حرف های که براشون میزد سوال میساختن که اینم رها میکرد و به اونا جواب نمیدا�.
تو فرایندش مثالهای� از متنش آوردم؛ اما خروجی نگرفتم از هایلایتها� از کتابه چون حقیقتا چیز مفیدی نداشت.😅
ولی یه سریش خنده دار بودن.
یه چیزی از کتاب اذیتم میکرد که باعث شد خیلی پخش و پرت و با فاصله بخونمش: اون مکالماتشون که وسط متن نوشته بود.
میدونم طنز هم فرهنگیه و فرق داره ولی خب به نظرم اصلا بامزه نبودن.
یه سری سوالاش هم اونا سوال نبودن، حرف های که براشون میزد سوال میساختن که اینم رها میکرد و به اونا جواب نمیدا�.
تو فرایندش مثالهای� از متنش آوردم؛ اما خروجی نگرفتم از هایلایتها� از کتابه چون حقیقتا چیز مفیدی نداشت.😅
March 19, 2016
Funny, fun and informative!
March 15, 2008
Totally lame. I thought it would be interesting. But mostly they just ask a bunch of interesting questions.. and manage to make the answers boring. Probably because a lot of the time the answer is like "we aren't sure" and then they make some smarmy dick jokes about it. They are like... unclever fratboys (is this redundant?). And they are adults (one is a doctor, allegedly), so it's even more unnaceptable. I'm not even giving this non-fiction shelving because, it was mostly just smarm-tastic commentary.
February 6, 2018
I read the sequel to this book, Why do Men Fall Asleep During Sex when it came out in 2006. I always meant to come back to this one (published in 2005) but never did. ..Asleep.. I bought as an airport book as both books had been huge smashes and I only at that time put together it was that Mark Leyner.
Leyner put out a couple of novels and some short story collections in the 90s which made it look like he was going to be one of the premier writers of his time (and I think it is still fair to say he is). It is interesting to see all the reader reviews of these books and the vitriol at Leyner. In retrospect, for whatever reason, Leyner took off a decade from fiction. He has only recently returned to it. Also, clearly I feel that Leyner should not be begrudged for making money to allow him to write whatever he likes later on.
Although this type of "bathroom reader" will always have an appeal, there was probably no better time for it than when it appeared to go straight to the top of the book charts. That period of roughly 2003-2007 was a heyday for a new kind of hypermasculinity. It was born out of metrosexuality, but pushed into a different direction. So we got it: Maxim, Mens Health, Crossfit, Tom Leykis, Axe Body Spray, Dr Drew Pinsky, UFC, Spike TV, Tucker Max, Joe Rogan, the Man Show, Muscle Milk, and Barney Stinson. You can guess where most of this stuff landed 10-15 years later and we won't go there, but the point is part of what came out of that was a concern for men and their health, which certainly feeds into the macho posturing of these books.
The other factor was the days of Web 2.0 and a search for knowledge inspired by the internet. Now, this wasn't always a noble pursuit, but certainly we were allowed to search out questions that we might be too embarrassed to ask You know like "Can you breastfeed with fake boobs?". It was reflected in the popularity of websites like The Smoking Gun, Snopes, the Straight Dope, HowStuffWorks, and ultimately of course, Wikipedia. Although these sites are still popular, their novelty has worn off abit. Still, they speak to some of the stuff that interests and sometimes titillates us. Now, of course, we have unlimited internet access and we have all spent hours upon hours jumping from one wikipedia article to the next and watching endless YouTube footage.
Still, I think the two factors combined at a time to make sure these books sold well. I think they would do fine today, but certainly it was released at the right place and time.
So the book itself? The book has a lot more of Leyner's popularity than I remember the sequel having. Maybe it's because it' s the original. Still, you can't miss out on the Leynerisms. Both books have interludes that are Leyner and Goldberg instant messaging each other. i know some people find these asides annoying, but they are usually pretty funny. Again, you get some prime Leyner.
The questions are pretty good. Some are urban legends, others old wives tales, some prurient locker talk. Most of them things you want to know.
The answers are mostly good. Some will find them too short or frustratingly incomplete ("science hasn't concluded" or "it just is"). Not everyone has the same interests so it's probably smart to keep it snappy, though.
This is a very quick read and without a doubt, a total bathroom reader. I read this as an ebook after reading the sequel in paperback form. In any case, it very light reading and you will be finished in no time. The ebook really made me feel like it was pretty small, but the experience was much the same as the physical form. In any case, I doubt many people would finish it in an afternoon, though certainly they will finish it in two or three afternoons.
I am probably a sucker for this book for a variety of reasons. I suspect many people would feel the same. If you are in that group, then check it out.
Leyner put out a couple of novels and some short story collections in the 90s which made it look like he was going to be one of the premier writers of his time (and I think it is still fair to say he is). It is interesting to see all the reader reviews of these books and the vitriol at Leyner. In retrospect, for whatever reason, Leyner took off a decade from fiction. He has only recently returned to it. Also, clearly I feel that Leyner should not be begrudged for making money to allow him to write whatever he likes later on.
Although this type of "bathroom reader" will always have an appeal, there was probably no better time for it than when it appeared to go straight to the top of the book charts. That period of roughly 2003-2007 was a heyday for a new kind of hypermasculinity. It was born out of metrosexuality, but pushed into a different direction. So we got it: Maxim, Mens Health, Crossfit, Tom Leykis, Axe Body Spray, Dr Drew Pinsky, UFC, Spike TV, Tucker Max, Joe Rogan, the Man Show, Muscle Milk, and Barney Stinson. You can guess where most of this stuff landed 10-15 years later and we won't go there, but the point is part of what came out of that was a concern for men and their health, which certainly feeds into the macho posturing of these books.
The other factor was the days of Web 2.0 and a search for knowledge inspired by the internet. Now, this wasn't always a noble pursuit, but certainly we were allowed to search out questions that we might be too embarrassed to ask You know like "Can you breastfeed with fake boobs?". It was reflected in the popularity of websites like The Smoking Gun, Snopes, the Straight Dope, HowStuffWorks, and ultimately of course, Wikipedia. Although these sites are still popular, their novelty has worn off abit. Still, they speak to some of the stuff that interests and sometimes titillates us. Now, of course, we have unlimited internet access and we have all spent hours upon hours jumping from one wikipedia article to the next and watching endless YouTube footage.
Still, I think the two factors combined at a time to make sure these books sold well. I think they would do fine today, but certainly it was released at the right place and time.
So the book itself? The book has a lot more of Leyner's popularity than I remember the sequel having. Maybe it's because it' s the original. Still, you can't miss out on the Leynerisms. Both books have interludes that are Leyner and Goldberg instant messaging each other. i know some people find these asides annoying, but they are usually pretty funny. Again, you get some prime Leyner.
The questions are pretty good. Some are urban legends, others old wives tales, some prurient locker talk. Most of them things you want to know.
The answers are mostly good. Some will find them too short or frustratingly incomplete ("science hasn't concluded" or "it just is"). Not everyone has the same interests so it's probably smart to keep it snappy, though.
This is a very quick read and without a doubt, a total bathroom reader. I read this as an ebook after reading the sequel in paperback form. In any case, it very light reading and you will be finished in no time. The ebook really made me feel like it was pretty small, but the experience was much the same as the physical form. In any case, I doubt many people would finish it in an afternoon, though certainly they will finish it in two or three afternoons.
I am probably a sucker for this book for a variety of reasons. I suspect many people would feel the same. If you are in that group, then check it out.
September 2, 2008
I picked this book up a couple of years ago because the title was just too good to pass up. "Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini" was a quick and hilarious read. Fascinating questions like "Why does sweat stink and stain?" and "Why do people seem more attractive to you when you are drunk?" are just two of the burning questions presented. Surprisingly enough, the answers (OK MOST of the answers) are truly given from the medical point of view.
After reading this book, I can only wonder at the parties the author/s have been going to. Of course, having occasionally (in the far, far past of course) fallen victim to tipsy (OK, drunken) ponderings, maybe I can understand...but I would hope I'd never ask a stranger. If you enjoy this book (and I certainly did, as did my teenagers) then you need to pick up the sequel "Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex? More Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Whiskey Sour."
After reading this book, I can only wonder at the parties the author/s have been going to. Of course, having occasionally (in the far, far past of course) fallen victim to tipsy (OK, drunken) ponderings, maybe I can understand...but I would hope I'd never ask a stranger. If you enjoy this book (and I certainly did, as did my teenagers) then you need to pick up the sequel "Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex? More Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Whiskey Sour."
January 13, 2010
I hadn’t realised it when I started reading this, but I know Mark Leyner. He is the guy who wrote , a book that is quite unlike any other. I have never written a review of it, I think I would need to read it again to do that. The problem is that I doubt I could ever do it justice. It is very funny, even if it is a deeply strange book.
This book is a collaboration between Leyner and a doctor called Billy Goldberg. The impression given (and I guess the running joke) is that Leyner is effectively ripping off Goldberg as Goldberg is the doctor with all the answers to all of the questions while Leyner provides the comic relief. Some of it is even a bit funny (although they repeat some of the jokes a little too often). The book is divided into more or less serious answers to questions and then asides that are nearly as irritating as adverts on commercial television.
This is like a documentary that has been made assuming that meatheads are going to be watching it and so feels compelled to add lots of stuff about sex and alcohol and endless fart and tit jokes. Don’t get me wrong, no one is too old or too young or too intelligent for a good fart joke, but I felt talked down to and taken for granted as a reader far too often for any of this to be truly amusing.
Which is a pity, as it is a fantastic idea for a book. You have a doctor at your disposal and you get to ask him all of the sorts of questions you would only ask a doctor after you have been drinking with him for a few hours. And some of the questions are really great � everything from does eating chocolate cause acne (no) to can you lose a contact lens in the back of your eye (no) to is there a relationship between shoe and penis sizes (no) to can they test hair for drugs (yes).
So, while the information in itself ought to have been interesting enough to make the book worth reading, the style it was written in quickly became tedious. This was a real pity, as I read another book recently called that was what this book ought to have been and so easily could have been.
Look, it wasn’t awful, but once I realised who Mr Leyner was I had such high hopes for this book that it was a shame they weren’t really met.
This book is a collaboration between Leyner and a doctor called Billy Goldberg. The impression given (and I guess the running joke) is that Leyner is effectively ripping off Goldberg as Goldberg is the doctor with all the answers to all of the questions while Leyner provides the comic relief. Some of it is even a bit funny (although they repeat some of the jokes a little too often). The book is divided into more or less serious answers to questions and then asides that are nearly as irritating as adverts on commercial television.
This is like a documentary that has been made assuming that meatheads are going to be watching it and so feels compelled to add lots of stuff about sex and alcohol and endless fart and tit jokes. Don’t get me wrong, no one is too old or too young or too intelligent for a good fart joke, but I felt talked down to and taken for granted as a reader far too often for any of this to be truly amusing.
Which is a pity, as it is a fantastic idea for a book. You have a doctor at your disposal and you get to ask him all of the sorts of questions you would only ask a doctor after you have been drinking with him for a few hours. And some of the questions are really great � everything from does eating chocolate cause acne (no) to can you lose a contact lens in the back of your eye (no) to is there a relationship between shoe and penis sizes (no) to can they test hair for drugs (yes).
So, while the information in itself ought to have been interesting enough to make the book worth reading, the style it was written in quickly became tedious. This was a real pity, as I read another book recently called that was what this book ought to have been and so easily could have been.
Look, it wasn’t awful, but once I realised who Mr Leyner was I had such high hopes for this book that it was a shame they weren’t really met.
January 5, 2008
I was disappointed with this book. I'd heard it was so funny, and had some sort of wisdom or at least interesting information. NPR adored it, of course.
I don't think the two authors are funny at all, especially the "gross" stuff (see the recipe for snot); a lot of the questions were idiotic (Can you die from chasing pop rocks with coke) or not compelling (who, when they have a doctor all to themselves at a party for a half hour or so, would really choose to ask Should you starve a fever and feed a cold?); many of the answers were vague and pointless (regarding the above, "There is no clear answer here."); and the writing is clumsy and reads like a first, not final draft, but tries to be clever which just makes it worse. There's an air of arrogance to these guys, especially the doctor, who deigns to impart wisdom to us mere mortals. The one thing I thought was remotely funny was in another sophomoric, frat-boyish attempt at gross-out humor, a list of euphemisms for "to vomit": "uneat." Good thing you can skim this sucker in an evening. There's a sequel, but I don't think I'll bother.
I don't think the two authors are funny at all, especially the "gross" stuff (see the recipe for snot); a lot of the questions were idiotic (Can you die from chasing pop rocks with coke) or not compelling (who, when they have a doctor all to themselves at a party for a half hour or so, would really choose to ask Should you starve a fever and feed a cold?); many of the answers were vague and pointless (regarding the above, "There is no clear answer here."); and the writing is clumsy and reads like a first, not final draft, but tries to be clever which just makes it worse. There's an air of arrogance to these guys, especially the doctor, who deigns to impart wisdom to us mere mortals. The one thing I thought was remotely funny was in another sophomoric, frat-boyish attempt at gross-out humor, a list of euphemisms for "to vomit": "uneat." Good thing you can skim this sucker in an evening. There's a sequel, but I don't think I'll bother.
January 19, 2015
Normally, this is the kind of book I love. Weird trivia, weird humor--what's not to love. But, in the end it wasn't all that funny. The trivia wasn't very fascinating. That just leaves weird.
I absolutely hated the format of this book. At the beginning of each chapter, the two co-authors have printed a transcript of their instant messaging. I suppose that might be a good idea if they discussed writing the book or wrestling with which trivia to include but many of the transcripts read like this: "You there?" "I'm here. Let's name this chapter Sexpots and Despots" "Did despots have sex a lot?" Really fascinating stuff. NOT!
Also, the trivia here was not written about in a way to be interesting to the reader. It's a collaboration between a doctor and a humor writer so it should be hilarious, but the medical mumbo jumbo was over my head a lot of time and then I found I didn't really care enough to look further into it. And the humor writer was just about the unfunniest person I've ever read.
The only thing that saved the book from being a "one-star" read was the few bits and pieces of interesting and relevant trivia. Still, it's like mining for gold in a big batch of dirt. Skip this altogether if you only want to know the answer to the title--you can easily look it up on online.
I absolutely hated the format of this book. At the beginning of each chapter, the two co-authors have printed a transcript of their instant messaging. I suppose that might be a good idea if they discussed writing the book or wrestling with which trivia to include but many of the transcripts read like this: "You there?" "I'm here. Let's name this chapter Sexpots and Despots" "Did despots have sex a lot?" Really fascinating stuff. NOT!
Also, the trivia here was not written about in a way to be interesting to the reader. It's a collaboration between a doctor and a humor writer so it should be hilarious, but the medical mumbo jumbo was over my head a lot of time and then I found I didn't really care enough to look further into it. And the humor writer was just about the unfunniest person I've ever read.
The only thing that saved the book from being a "one-star" read was the few bits and pieces of interesting and relevant trivia. Still, it's like mining for gold in a big batch of dirt. Skip this altogether if you only want to know the answer to the title--you can easily look it up on online.
April 1, 2011
Hilarious!
While reading this book I found my self thinking about the most ridiculous things (mostly about how funny it would be if farting was contagious) and laughing out loud all alone like a crazy person. To explain the contagious fart fantasy (fantasy is totally the wrong word here!) hahaha.. but anyway a section was trying to explain why yawns were contagious and then listed several things that we should be very happy are NOT contagious.. and farts was the one that stood out to me.. haha. This book had little side notes of comedy all through it and I really enjoyed reading it. I was shocked to learn several facts I have been preaching are not true! (my bad) haha..
Spoiler Alert:
Did you know?.... That what you eat doesn't give you pimples, salt doesn't make you bloat, carrots do nothing to improve eye sight,and peeing on a jelly fish sting actually makes it worse not better...
I'm glad I no longer have to live my life eating bland foods for fear of pimples and water weight and I can stop hoping to cure my bad eye sight the "old fashion way" hahaha.
Great little read!
While reading this book I found my self thinking about the most ridiculous things (mostly about how funny it would be if farting was contagious) and laughing out loud all alone like a crazy person. To explain the contagious fart fantasy (fantasy is totally the wrong word here!) hahaha.. but anyway a section was trying to explain why yawns were contagious and then listed several things that we should be very happy are NOT contagious.. and farts was the one that stood out to me.. haha. This book had little side notes of comedy all through it and I really enjoyed reading it. I was shocked to learn several facts I have been preaching are not true! (my bad) haha..
Spoiler Alert:
Did you know?.... That what you eat doesn't give you pimples, salt doesn't make you bloat, carrots do nothing to improve eye sight,and peeing on a jelly fish sting actually makes it worse not better...
I'm glad I no longer have to live my life eating bland foods for fear of pimples and water weight and I can stop hoping to cure my bad eye sight the "old fashion way" hahaha.
Great little read!
July 12, 2010
I'm resigned to the fact that I'll go to my grave not knowing the answers to certain mysteries of life, e.g., how did GW get elected the second time, what kind of childhood trauma leads to one enjoying foie gras ice cream, and so on. Add to this list the fact that there are 200+ people on goodreads who gave this book 5 stars, i.e., they thought this book was "amazing." Well, I found this book amazingly bad. The most interesting aspect of the book: the questions. The answers are so-so. But the most annoying parts are the idiotic interludes, which to me seem like the product of a mind in the process of a psychotic breakdown (and I don't mean the interesting kind; just full of random, rambling, moronic non sequiturs). Frankly writing this review was the most enjoyable aspect of the book!
August 21, 2015
A great concept gone bad. The authors think they are hilarious -- they are not. They are often so busy laughing at themselves they take forever to get to the answer. Then the answers are short, very medical, and not always helpful.
November 15, 2017
This is perfectly fine for what it is. Most of these questions are not ground breaking so I didn't really learn any new information and I found the humor a little bit ridiculous, even for me.
April 24, 2018
Feeling under the weather, I searched the bathroom-read list for some fun, but this book is hardly funny. The authors tried too hard, and I can't believe their editor let them use those IM fillers.
April 6, 2025
This book addresses hundreds (I guess? Well� the title says so) of medical questions and myths. Explained in a casual manner—it is acceptable. But I found the jokes along the books and unnecessary chit-chat of both authors are... idk(?)... irritating(?) I would say. And their add-on answers to some questions are unmedical.
Although I skipped a lot of pages and only read what is relevant to me, my stance still stands. Sorry, maybe this book aren't meant for me.
Although I skipped a lot of pages and only read what is relevant to me, my stance still stands. Sorry, maybe this book aren't meant for me.
June 14, 2012
This book, Why do Men Have Nipples written by Mark Leyner, has a title that begs you to pick it up and skim through it just out of curiosity. So, let me warn you now, if you sample this book or thumb through it, you will want to buy it. Just doing a basic Q & A would have been dry, boring reading so our author and his source- Billy Goldberg, M. D. added a generous helping of humor and included a few of their conversations during and after each chapter. The topics covered include burning questions such as - Does it really take seven years for gum to digest? What causes ice cream headache? Why does spicy food make your nose run? And of course - Why do men have nipples? Topics range from these to a chapter on sexual questions, Should you put steak on a black eye, Drugs and Alcohol ( Can poppy seeds make you test positive for herion ) Bathroom humor ( this was really gross), Are TV medical shows accurate, and old wives tales, and aging. ( Why are old people bad drivers, what's up the ear hair) The embarrassing thing is that I have heard some of these questions from time to time and believed the standard answers without a doubt, such as bread absorbs alcohol, and warm milk helps you sleep. The answers will surprise you. This book is only a little over 200 pages but worth the money. Great conversations can come from reading this book out loud to your spouse, friends or co- workers. There are some laugh out loud parts. Some of the conversations held between the authors and their spouses etc were a little too goofy and silly for me, causing me skip forward to the beginning of the next chapter. Otherwise, this would have been a 5 star rating.
August 1, 2011
Note subtitle: questions you'd only ask your doctor after your third martini
The first time I saw this book, I was legitimately curious about the answers. After finally getting around to reading it, I am sad to say I was disappointed on many levels:
- the questions asked were kind of lame, and most of them (including the title question) have already been answered by the most wonderful source of knowledge, howstuffworks' podcasts. I did however get a few things cleared up, like what foods cause what colors of poo and whether or not drafts cause colds
- depth of answers: unlike my darling podcasts, the authors seem to have defined the target audience of their booms as easily amused, drunk, and vaguely curious dude. Aka, the guy at the cocktail party that actually does ask doctors these kinds of questions. The answers are appropriately terse and cocktail party appropriate, that is, skipping over the science part and not nearly interesting enough to match the questions.
- quality of writing: the two authors of the book are an ER doctor in New York and a television writer. Their collaboration is legitimately awful and actually features long transcripts of their IMs that are intended to be funny. They are not.
The bonus of this awful piece of work is that it's short and can be digested in a few hours. Small price to pay for a few bits of esoteric knowledge.
The first time I saw this book, I was legitimately curious about the answers. After finally getting around to reading it, I am sad to say I was disappointed on many levels:
- the questions asked were kind of lame, and most of them (including the title question) have already been answered by the most wonderful source of knowledge, howstuffworks' podcasts. I did however get a few things cleared up, like what foods cause what colors of poo and whether or not drafts cause colds
- depth of answers: unlike my darling podcasts, the authors seem to have defined the target audience of their booms as easily amused, drunk, and vaguely curious dude. Aka, the guy at the cocktail party that actually does ask doctors these kinds of questions. The answers are appropriately terse and cocktail party appropriate, that is, skipping over the science part and not nearly interesting enough to match the questions.
- quality of writing: the two authors of the book are an ER doctor in New York and a television writer. Their collaboration is legitimately awful and actually features long transcripts of their IMs that are intended to be funny. They are not.
The bonus of this awful piece of work is that it's short and can be digested in a few hours. Small price to pay for a few bits of esoteric knowledge.
August 12, 2015
There are not "hundreds" of questions in this book. At most, a few dozen.
The answers are neither detailed nor interesting. You can find out much more just using Google.
The authors claim to be a doctor at "a well-known teaching hospital" (yeah? Which one? And if you really are, why not name it?) and a "successful" screenwriter (whose TV series was cancelled after episode three).
As for "humour"--well it left me cold. I didn't smile even once. Their idea of "humour" seems to be strictly middleschool boy stuff about drinking and belching and acting stupid in public. Oh, and they don't drop names of the "well-known" people they hang with. No, they drop the names of restaurants they eat at.
I guess if you're a New York guy, you might find this funny. Calling yourself a doctor doesn't make you one, and calling yourself a comic doesn't make you funny, either.
Zero stars.
The answers are neither detailed nor interesting. You can find out much more just using Google.
The authors claim to be a doctor at "a well-known teaching hospital" (yeah? Which one? And if you really are, why not name it?) and a "successful" screenwriter (whose TV series was cancelled after episode three).
As for "humour"--well it left me cold. I didn't smile even once. Their idea of "humour" seems to be strictly middleschool boy stuff about drinking and belching and acting stupid in public. Oh, and they don't drop names of the "well-known" people they hang with. No, they drop the names of restaurants they eat at.
I guess if you're a New York guy, you might find this funny. Calling yourself a doctor doesn't make you one, and calling yourself a comic doesn't make you funny, either.
Zero stars.
March 13, 2012
A trivia book with facts mostly relating to medical matters. Some questions are interesting---It is bad to crack your knuckesl? Are yawns contagious? Does marijuana really help glaucoma---and some are less so. Of course, each reader may find their own likes and dislkies among the questions.
You can skip the parts where the two authors are talking to each other--it is supposed to be funny and is not.
A mildly interesting, odd book--worth skimming through once.. Might make a cute gag gift for any friend in the medical professions.
Borrow it or find it used--it is not worth the $13.95 price tag.
You can skip the parts where the two authors are talking to each other--it is supposed to be funny and is not.
A mildly interesting, odd book--worth skimming through once.. Might make a cute gag gift for any friend in the medical professions.
Borrow it or find it used--it is not worth the $13.95 price tag.
October 15, 2015
1. A list of factoids with minor explanations (may be interesting to a lot of people) - alrightish (3 stars out of 5)
2. Humor in the explanations - so so.
3. Fillers: description of a party and chat logs - did not add absolutely anything to the book.
2. Humor in the explanations - so so.
3. Fillers: description of a party and chat logs - did not add absolutely anything to the book.
August 6, 2022
Easy fun and informative read. Answers some questions we all at some point would like the answer for.
October 28, 2021
This is not a very good book. The medical information it contains is interesting; the Abbott and Costello manner in which it is presented is off putting in the extreme. The premise of the book is expressed in a subtitle: "Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini." It is not a bad premise 'tho it, too, is poorly expressed. There are all manner of things about the human body which are puzzling, the subject of misinformation, and inexplicable. These authors -- a professor in med school and a comedy writer -- address many of them: When drinking a slushie, what causes brain freeze? Why does asparagus make one's urine smell funny? Why do older people have so much hair growing in their ears? Will cracking your knuckles cause arthritis? Why do your teeth chatter when you're cold? Does urinating on a jellyfish sting stop the burn? Are farts susceptible to being ignited? These are not, perhaps, the things every person must know to lead a satisfying life, nor to attain Nirvana, nor even to fulfill your parents' hopes and expectations. But they are (at least conversationally) interesting. The answers, which seem scientific and rational, are marred by the school-boy silliness, the bathroom humour, and the sophomoric levity of Mark and Doctor Billy. Someone must have found this stuff pretty entertaining. Were it not so, they wouldn't have been awarded contracts for two more books: "Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex?: More Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Whiskey Sour" (2006) and "Let's Play Doctor: The Instant Guide to Walking, Talking, and Probing Like a Real M.D." (2008). I won't be reading either.
July 30, 2022
While I try not to judge a book by its cover, it's really hard not to judge a book by its title—so much so that I admit the hilarious title is the only reason I bought this book.
Here's the conundrum of this book written by New York City emergency room physician Billy Goldberg, M.D. and professional writer Mark Leyner: They try to be funny, and mostly that humor falls flat. Very, very flat. It's juvenile and stupid. And awful. But when they give up on trying to be funny and instead write serious answers to what can be funny questions, the book is wildly successful. So it's a big mix of me rolling my eyes, while also being fascinated.
The questions are divided into chapters by topic, including food, body oddities, sex, home remedies, drugs and alcohol, medicine from TV and the movies, old wives' tales, getting older, and more.
Some of the dozens of questions asked and answered are:
Why do you cry when you cut onions?
What is a food coma?
Is it bad to crack your knuckles?
What causes morning breath?
Is there really a G-spot?
Will toothpaste get rid of zits?
How do you get rid of hiccups?
Does drinking kill brain cells?
Can you get scared to death?
Is lip balm addictive?
Is it dangerous to hold in a sneeze?
Is there really a wrinkle cure?
And of course: Why do men have nipples?
This is the perfect book to leave in the powder room for reading a few questions here and there. No need to read it cover to cover (which I did). It's fun. It's sassy. And it's informative. But it's not particularly funny. So four stars, not five, because the humor is just stoooooooopid.
Here's the conundrum of this book written by New York City emergency room physician Billy Goldberg, M.D. and professional writer Mark Leyner: They try to be funny, and mostly that humor falls flat. Very, very flat. It's juvenile and stupid. And awful. But when they give up on trying to be funny and instead write serious answers to what can be funny questions, the book is wildly successful. So it's a big mix of me rolling my eyes, while also being fascinated.
The questions are divided into chapters by topic, including food, body oddities, sex, home remedies, drugs and alcohol, medicine from TV and the movies, old wives' tales, getting older, and more.
Some of the dozens of questions asked and answered are:
Why do you cry when you cut onions?
What is a food coma?
Is it bad to crack your knuckles?
What causes morning breath?
Is there really a G-spot?
Will toothpaste get rid of zits?
How do you get rid of hiccups?
Does drinking kill brain cells?
Can you get scared to death?
Is lip balm addictive?
Is it dangerous to hold in a sneeze?
Is there really a wrinkle cure?
And of course: Why do men have nipples?
This is the perfect book to leave in the powder room for reading a few questions here and there. No need to read it cover to cover (which I did). It's fun. It's sassy. And it's informative. But it's not particularly funny. So four stars, not five, because the humor is just stoooooooopid.
December 27, 2019
As recommended by Mr Allen Young, who notified me that the Mark Leyner listed as co-author was THAT Mark Leyner who wrote the brilliant novels , , and . I never would have made the connection, so it was nice to have that pointed out. Great for fans of medical trivia and Leyner’s offbeat humor. And yes, I learned a lot about my bodily functions.
January 13, 2021
This is the kind of quirky "toilet book" that I usually enjoy. Reasonably weird questions answered using science, in this case medical science. This was an example of how not to write one of those or, if I being kind, one that was soon eclipsed by the ability to use search engines. It was published in 2006 in the UK and I wasn't online around then so I cannot confirm how good Google was at the time.
The questions are ones that you might see on weird Google search lists. The answers are ones that a simple Google search would do better than. There was it much that I felt I learned from any of this. If that was the entire content of the book then it probably would have scraped 2 stars.
The rest of the books length is taken up with anecdotes, stories, and conversations between the authors. These probably tried to be funny but missed the mark significantly in doing so. As they were mostly anatomically based then it is easy to say they were the equivalent of trying to force a fart.
A book that might have been more useful on release. Not one I would recommend to anyone.
The questions are ones that you might see on weird Google search lists. The answers are ones that a simple Google search would do better than. There was it much that I felt I learned from any of this. If that was the entire content of the book then it probably would have scraped 2 stars.
The rest of the books length is taken up with anecdotes, stories, and conversations between the authors. These probably tried to be funny but missed the mark significantly in doing so. As they were mostly anatomically based then it is easy to say they were the equivalent of trying to force a fart.
A book that might have been more useful on release. Not one I would recommend to anyone.
March 2, 2021
It was fun. It wasn't earth shattering, but it was fun. I didn't like all the attempts at humor, to be honest. I thought it could have been better written in that regard, but I was reading it on a Kindle Paperwhite, so maybe that played a role.
Anyway, good information and I definitely learned stuff. Decent read.
Anyway, good information and I definitely learned stuff. Decent read.
April 26, 2017
We had to read a humorous book for Book Club, so I read this one. Question and answer format about all of those weird things you have heard about your health. Is that really true? Some yes, some no. It was a quick read with some interesting info. You could read one page or a whole chapter.
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