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432 pages, Hardcover
First published June 28, 2022
鈥淚 began to realise that love wasn't dead, but it wasn't forever, either. It was something in between, a moment in time where two people existed at the exact same moment in the exact same place in the universe.鈥�
饟彶 鈧娾櫋饟們Love wasn't a whisper in the quiet night.
It was a yelp into the void, screaming that you were here.鈰嗮搨冎粗吨� 鈯顾�
鉂ヰ潛滒潝� 饾摻饾摫饾摳饾摼饾摪饾摫饾摻饾摷馃挱 藮鈦�. 嗉� 鈰喫欌姽
馃尲鈥溾€ou don't ever lose the sadness, but you learn to love it because it becomes a part of you, and bit by bit, it fades. And, eventually, you'll pick yourself back up and you'll find that you're okay. That you're going to be okay. And eventually, it'll be true.鈥濔煂�
馃拹鈥淎lways. I'm yours, Florence Day,鈥� he said, and kissed my knuckles.
Those words made my heart soar.
鈥淎谤诲别苍迟濒测?鈥�
鈥淔ervently. Zealously. Keenly. Passionately yours.鈥�
鈥淎nd I'm yours,鈥濔煉�
Buying books always made me feel better, even if I never read them.
鈥淟ove is a celebration of life and death. It stays with you. It lingers, my darlings, long after I'm gone. Listen for me when the wind rushes through the trees.鈥�
鈥淪o, thank you for giving me words when I didn't think there were any left. I hope you never stop giving the world your words.鈥�
Standing there in the middle of the dandelion field, looking up into Ben's soft ocher eyes, I began to realize that love wasn't dead, but it wasn't forever, either. It was something in between, a moment in time where two people existed at the exact same moment in the exact same place in the universe.
鈥淭here's nothing like the sound of the sky rattling your bones, you know?鈥� he once told me when I asked why he loved thunderstorms so much. 鈥淢akes you feel alive. Reminds you that there's more to you than just skin and blood, but bones underneath. Stronger stuff. Just listen to that sky sing, buttercup.鈥�
鈥淓verything that dies never really goes. In little ways, it all stays.鈥�
鈥淵ou are perfect.鈥�
鈥淎m I?鈥�
鈥淒o I need to repeat myself?鈥�
鈥淎s often as I deem necessary.鈥�
Grief was the exact opposite. It was full and heavy and drowning because it wasn't the absence of everything you lost- it was the culmination of it all, your love, your happiness, your bittersweets, wound tight like a knotted ball of yarn.
I was so fucking sad, and yet there were moments when the tide would go back out and I wasn't drowning anymore in it- and they were all moments, I realized, with Ben.
Because of Ben.
鈥淭his is exhausting,鈥� he agreed softly. 鈥淎ll of it. Pretending to be okay while the world changes around you and leaves you behind to sit with whatever loss you found.鈥�
No one had ever thanked me for that before. For trying. Even though I was failing.
Would've, should've, could've.
Hindsight was such a bitch.
A glimmer in the corner caught my eye. I glanced over.
An old woman with beautiful wide brown eyes stood in the doorway to the parlor, her hand outstretched to an elderly man in an orange sweater and brown pants, who took it tightly and kissed her knuckles. They shimmered in that star-glitter way spirits did.
鈥淣ow he can give her lilies himself.鈥�
饟彶 鈧娾櫋饟們鈥淭here is no happy ending. There's just... happily living. As best you can.鈥�鈰嗮搨冎粗吨� 鈯顾�
"I began to realize that love wasn't dead, but it wasn't forever, either. It was something in between, a moment in time where two people existen at the exact same moment in the exact same place in the universe."
鈥淏ecause ghost stories were just love stories about here and then and now and when, about pockets of happiness and moments that resonated in places long after their era. They were stories that taught you that love was never a matter of time, but a matter of timing.鈥�
鈥� There is no happy ending, theres just. . . happily living. As best you鈥�
鈥漛ecause I couldn't exist on my own, but sometimes I just didn't want to.
Sometimes I just wanted to let my guard down, let the pieces of me fall to the ground, and know that I had someone there who could put me back together without minding the sharp bits.鈥�
鈥滾ove wasn't a whisper in the quiet night. It was a yelp into the void, screaming that you were here.鈥�
鈥漚lways. Im yours Florence day,鈥� he said and kissed mu knuckles.
鈥� ardently?鈥�
鈥淔ervently.zealously. Keenly. Passionately yours鈥�
鈥� and I鈥檓 yours鈥�
鈥淲e might've been a family in black, but our lives were filled with light and joy and color鈥�
鈥淚 feel like we鈥檝e done a few of these . . .鈥�
鈥淏ut I could never touch you.鈥�
鈥淚鈥檇 be okay with that.鈥�
鈥淣o one else will ever see me.鈥�
鈥淭hat means you鈥檇 be all mine.鈥�
鈥淚 think, as readers, we all have a comfort read, the one book that protects us in the exact ways it needs to鈥攚hether it is a romance or erotica or a thriller or a crime story or a fantasy. A book that we find ourselves in, like looking in a mirror. Oh, you, too? It will ask, as it fills that soft, hollow place in your heart that nothing else dared to touch. I think we all deserve a book like that, whatever yours is.鈥�
Standing there in the middle of the dandelion field, looking up into Ben鈥檚 soft ocher eyes, I began to realize that love wasn鈥檛 dead, but it wasn鈥檛 forever, either. It was something in between, a moment in time where two people existed at the exact same moment in the exact same place in the universe.
Because if there was one thing more powerful than death itself, it was true, undeniable love.
I wasn鈥檛 good at other people鈥檚 emotions because I didn鈥檛 know how to help, usually.
When someone was in pain, I wanted to fix it.
But I couldn鈥檛.
"You know, you being angry on my behalf is kinda sweet. I wish I鈥檇 met you sooner when you were alive.鈥�
鈥淢e, too".