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138 pages, Paperback
First published May 8, 2012
He will beat her when they get home, thought Frank. And who wouldn鈥檛? It鈥檚 one thing to be publicly humiliated. A man could move on from that. What was intolerable was the witness of a woman, a wife, who not only saw it, but had dared to try to rescue鈥攔escue!鈥攈im. He couldn鈥檛 protect himself and he couldn鈥檛 protect her either, as the rock in her face proved. She would have to pay for that broken nose. Over and over again.This is not the only example to be found here of people paying forward the harsh treatment they have received.
This house is strange.the home Frank dreams of is not the one he truly owns. His is a much darker abode. He must confront the memories from which he flees in order to be able to find his true home, his true self.
Its shadows lie
Say, tell me why does its lock fit my key
When he was alone and sober, whatever the surroundings, he saw a boy pushing his entrails back in, holding them in his palms like a fortune-teller's globe shattering with bad news; or he heard a boy with only the bottom half of his face intact, the lips calling mama. And he was stepping over them, around them, to stay alive, to keep his own face from dissolving, his own colorful guts under that oh-so-thin sheet of flesh.
鈥emories, powerful as they were, did not crush him anymore or throw him into paralyzing despair.
"丌賳噩丕 噩丕蹖蹖 亘賵丿 讴賴 賲丕 丌卮睾丕賱鈥屬囏з呚з� 乇丕 賲蹖鈥屫臂屫屬�. ...趩倬鈥屫池� 亘賵丿. 賲孬賱 賲賳...蹖讴 倬乇鬲睾丕賱 爻蹖丕賴 卮丿賴 賵 诏賳丿蹖丿賴 丿賵乇 丕夭 丿爻鬲 丕賵 丕賮鬲丕丿賴 亘賵丿. 讴賵乇賲丕賱貙 讴賵乇賲丕賱 丿賳亘丕賱 丌賳 賲蹖鈥屭簇�...賮丕夭 亘毓丿蹖 賳诏賴亘丕賳蹖 丌賲丿 賵 丿爻鬲 丿禺鬲乇讴 乇丕 丿蹖丿 賵 亘丕 賱亘禺賳丿蹖 爻乇卮 乇丕 鬲讴丕賳 丿丕丿... 賵賯鬲蹖 亘賴 丕賵 賳夭丿蹖讴 卮丿 丿禺鬲乇讴 丕蹖爻鬲丕丿 賵 亘丕 丨丕賱鬲蹖 讴賴 亘賴 賳馗乇 賲蹖鈥屫必驰屫� 丕夭 賴賵賱 卮丿賳 亘丕卮丿 趩蹖夭蹖 亘賴 夭亘丕賳 讴乇賴鈥屫й� 诏賮鬲. 趩蹖夭蹖 卮亘蹖賴 蹖丕賲 蹖丕賲...賱亘禺賳丿蹖 夭丿 賵 丿爻鬲卮 乇丕 亘賴 胤乇賮 爻乇亘丕夭 丿乇丕夭 讴乇丿. 爻乇亘丕夭 睾丕賮賱鈥屭屫� 卮丿... 蹖丕賲 蹖丕賲. 丌亘卮丕乇蹖 丕夭 賲賵賴丕蹖 爻蹖丕賴 亘丕賱丕蹖 趩卮賲丕賳 賲卮鬲丕賯卮 亘賵丿... 爻乇亘丕夭 賲賵賴丕 乇丕 讴賳丕乇 夭丿... 賮賯胤 丿爻鬲卮 賲蹖丕賳 夭亘丕賱賴鈥屬囏� 亘丕賯蹖 賲丕賳丿賴 亘賵丿 讴賴 诏賳噩蹖賳賴鈥屫ж� 乇丕 亘賴 趩賳诏 诏乇賮鬲賴 亘賵丿... 蹖讴 倬乇鬲睾丕賱 賱讴賴鈥屬勞┵� 诏賳丿蹖丿賴!丕
亘賳馗乇賲貙 趩蹖夭蹖 讴賴 賳诏賴亘丕賳 丕丨爻丕爻 讴乇丿 趩蹖夭蹖 賮乇丕鬲乇 丕夭 丕賳夭噩丕乇 亘賵丿...卮丕蹖锟斤拷 亘乇丕蹖 賴賲蹖賳 賲噩亘賵乇 卮丿 丕賵 乇丕 亘讴卮丿"
Sarah slid a long, sharp knife from a drawer and, with intense anticipation of the pleasure to come, cut the girl in two.
Lotus, Ge贸rgia, 茅 o pior lugar do mundo, pior do que qualquer campo de batalha. Pelo menos no campo de batalha h谩 um objetivo. A excita莽茫o, aud谩cia e uma possibilidade de ganhar a par de muitas possibilidades de perder. A morte 茅 uma coisa garantida, mas a vida 茅 igualmente certa. O problema 茅 que n茫o sabemos antecipadamente. Em Lotus, contudo, sab铆amos antecipadamente, porque n茫o havia futuro, apenas longas horas passadas a matar tempo. N茫o havia outro objetivo al茅m de respirar, nada para ganhar e, 脿 exce莽茫o da morte tranquila de outrem, nada a que sobreviver nem por que valesse a pena sobreviver. Se n茫o fossem os meus dois amigos, aos doze anos j谩 teria sufocado. Eram eles, e a minha irm膩zinha, que relegavam para segundo plano a indiferen莽a dos meus pais e o 贸dio dos meus av贸s. Ningu茅m em Lotus sabia nada nem queria aprender nada. Seguramente n茫o era um lugar onde algu茅m quisesse estar.
Assim, como acontecia com frequ锚ncia quando se encontrava sozinho s贸brio, fosse e que fosse que o rodeasse, viu um rapaz a meter as entranhas de volta para dentro, segurando-as nas palmas como uma bola de cristal a despeda莽ar-se com as m谩s not铆cias; ou ouviu um rapaz apenas com a parte inferior da cara intacta, cujos l谩bios gritavam m茫ezinha. E ele passava-lhes por cima, rodeava-os, para se manter vivo, para impedir o seu pr贸prio rosto de se dissolver, para conservar as suas pr贸prias entranhas coloridas debaixo daquela camada de pele t茫o fina. Contra o fundo branco e negro daquela paisagem de inverno, o vermelho-sangue ocupava o meio da cena. Nunca desapareciam, aquelas imagens.
-Esteve na guerra?
-Estive.
-Matou algu茅m?
-Teve de ser.
-Como se sentiu?
-Mal. Francamente mal.
-Isso 茅 bom. Que o tenha feito sentir-se mal. Fico satisfeito.
-Como assim?
-Isso significa que n茫o 茅 mentiroso.
-Tu 茅s profundo, Thomas. -Frank sorriu. - O que queres ser quando fores grande?
Thomas rodou a ma莽aneta com a m茫o esquerda e abriu a porta.
-Um homem - disse ele, e depois saiu.
"The women handled sickness as though it were an affront, an illegal, invading braggart who needed whipping. They didn't waste their time or the patient's with sympathy and they met the tears of the suffering with resigned contempt."