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賰賳鬲 兀賵丿 兀賳 兀毓乇賮 賴匕丕 賯亘賱 兀賳 兀鬲夭賵噩
丕賳 賰賳鬲 睾賷乇 賲乇鬲亘胤 丕賵 亘丿丕鬲 丕賱鬲賮賰賷乇 賮賷 丕賱丕乇鬲亘丕胤 賮丕賳 賴匕丕 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賷賲賰賳 丕賳 賷賰賵賳 丕賱賲乇卮丿 賱賷爻丕毓丿賰 毓賱賷 丕賳 鬲賯乇乇 賲丕 丕匕丕 賰賳鬲 賲爻鬲毓丿丕 賱賴匕賴 丕賱禺胤賵丞 賵賲鬲賷 鬲賯丿賲 毓賱賷賴丕 丕賲丕 丕匕丕 賰丕賳鬲 毓賱丕賯丞 禺胤賵亘丞 丕賵 夭賵丕噩 丨丿賷孬 爻賷爻丕毓丿賰 賴匕丕 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 毓賱賷 賮丨氐 丕爻爻 丕賱毓賱丕賯丞 賵賷毓賱賲賰 丕賱賲賴丕乇丕鬲 丕賱賱丕夭賲丞 賱鬲丕爻賷爻 夭賵丕噩 賳丕噩丨 .
143 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2010
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About the author
Gary Chapman
524听books3,384听followersGary Demonte Chapman is an American author and radio talk show host. Chapman is most noted for his The Five Love Languages series regarding human relationships.
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June 21, 2014
I read Gary Chapman鈥檚 book 鈥淭hings I Wish I鈥檇 Known Before We Got Married鈥� as part of a campus ministry program with my Church. The intent of the book is to provide those considering marriage some issues to reflect on that most dating couples do not think about prior to walking down the aisle. The overriding theme of the book is that during the traditional Western courtship process, people get so focused on being in love and having found 鈥渢he one鈥� that it is easy to ignore many of the mundane facets of married life. Chapman鈥檚 stance is that love is not enough to carry a couple through for a lifelong relationship, and discussion of these matters prior to marriage will make for a stronger wedded bond aiding in the avoidance of many common pitfalls that often lead to divorce.
I will point out from the onset that I am not within the target demographic of the book since my wife and I have been married now for nearly a decade while the book is directed to singles or engaged couples. But, I think that also gives me a perspective to critique Chapman鈥檚 advice for those young adults contemplating marriage. Here are my thoughts...
I think Chapman makes some excellent points regarding arguments, apologies, and forgiveness (Chapters 4, 5, and 6, respectively). Moreover, I think that a lot of the advice Chapman proposes in those chapters is applicable to all interpersonal relationships, whether those are with family, coworkers, or friends - not just spouses. I also appreciated his suggestions in Chapter 7 regarding an agreement towards a division of labor as it applies to household chores and familial responsibilities. I agree that as petty as it sounds, those can become sticking points for many relationships (my wife and I included).
For all of the good proposals that Chapman makes regarding issues that should be discussed and methods for resolving differences, I found that I disagreed with or took issue with just as many of his other points. Throughout the book, I could not shake the feeling that he was writing from the perspective of an old-world philosophy with a family that has a single income, a stay at home Mom, and traditional gender roles that follow suit. (Sometimes Chapman explicitly points out that he is not necessarily talking about one relationship style over another, but I did not find those claims to be very convincing.) Living within a dual career modern family, my experiences did not fit well within this framework. Some of the specific points that I took issue with in this regard:
鈥� Chapman devotes all of Chapter 3 to the theory of 鈥淟ike mother, like daughter鈥� and 鈥淟ike father, like son鈥�, making the claim that if you want to see what your current boyfriend / girlfriend will be like in 20 or 30 years, just look at their respective parent. I think that is a dramatic oversimplification, and in my own experience, it is blatantly not true. I believe my wife share鈥檚 more of her personality with her father than her mother, whereas I inherited much of my mother鈥檚 character. In reality, we are both combinations of both of our parents, in addition to the many other influences we鈥檝e had throughout our lives.
鈥� In the chapter focused on money matters (Chapter 8), Chapman tries to make the case that the only valid approach is that upon marriage, there is no longer 鈥測ours鈥� or 鈥渕ine鈥�, just 鈥渙urs鈥�. Again, being in a dual career, dual income family, my wife and I have always maintained individual finances in addition to having a joint account. I would argue that doing so has eliminated many of the typical financial bickering that most couples have. Once we have met all of our mutual financial obligations, our individual leftovers are purely discretionary. If my wife wants to spend all of her money on shoes, and I opt to spend all of my money on CD鈥檚, that is our prerogative. I definitely take offense to Chapman鈥檚 statement of 鈥淚f you are not ready for this kind of unity, then you are not ready for marriage鈥� when he mandates that couples join all of their monetary resources.
鈥� Finally, I think there are at least three points of conflict that Chapman overlooked in his book that are often major issues for modern couples:
1.) During his treatment of extended family relationships (Chapter 10), he makes no mention of the issues that can arise for couples trying to care for aging parents, and the realities of being within the so-called 鈥渟andwich generation鈥�.
2.) Chapman barely mentions any issues related to parenting and all of the things that accompany that aspect of married life. My wife and I have often said 鈥済etting married was easy鈥aving children changes everything.鈥�
3.) I touched on this already above, but I will reiterate that Chapman ignores the challenges that are presented to couples in dual career relationships. Matters of competition, work-life balance, and employer geography can be just as contentious if not more so than any of the other matters he did discuss.
Overall, I think the book 鈥淭hings I Wish I鈥檇 Known Before We Got Married鈥� can give single and engaged young adults some good things to consider. But, I also think that Gary Chapman misses the mark on some topics, and does more harm than good on others.
I will point out from the onset that I am not within the target demographic of the book since my wife and I have been married now for nearly a decade while the book is directed to singles or engaged couples. But, I think that also gives me a perspective to critique Chapman鈥檚 advice for those young adults contemplating marriage. Here are my thoughts...
I think Chapman makes some excellent points regarding arguments, apologies, and forgiveness (Chapters 4, 5, and 6, respectively). Moreover, I think that a lot of the advice Chapman proposes in those chapters is applicable to all interpersonal relationships, whether those are with family, coworkers, or friends - not just spouses. I also appreciated his suggestions in Chapter 7 regarding an agreement towards a division of labor as it applies to household chores and familial responsibilities. I agree that as petty as it sounds, those can become sticking points for many relationships (my wife and I included).
For all of the good proposals that Chapman makes regarding issues that should be discussed and methods for resolving differences, I found that I disagreed with or took issue with just as many of his other points. Throughout the book, I could not shake the feeling that he was writing from the perspective of an old-world philosophy with a family that has a single income, a stay at home Mom, and traditional gender roles that follow suit. (Sometimes Chapman explicitly points out that he is not necessarily talking about one relationship style over another, but I did not find those claims to be very convincing.) Living within a dual career modern family, my experiences did not fit well within this framework. Some of the specific points that I took issue with in this regard:
鈥� Chapman devotes all of Chapter 3 to the theory of 鈥淟ike mother, like daughter鈥� and 鈥淟ike father, like son鈥�, making the claim that if you want to see what your current boyfriend / girlfriend will be like in 20 or 30 years, just look at their respective parent. I think that is a dramatic oversimplification, and in my own experience, it is blatantly not true. I believe my wife share鈥檚 more of her personality with her father than her mother, whereas I inherited much of my mother鈥檚 character. In reality, we are both combinations of both of our parents, in addition to the many other influences we鈥檝e had throughout our lives.
鈥� In the chapter focused on money matters (Chapter 8), Chapman tries to make the case that the only valid approach is that upon marriage, there is no longer 鈥測ours鈥� or 鈥渕ine鈥�, just 鈥渙urs鈥�. Again, being in a dual career, dual income family, my wife and I have always maintained individual finances in addition to having a joint account. I would argue that doing so has eliminated many of the typical financial bickering that most couples have. Once we have met all of our mutual financial obligations, our individual leftovers are purely discretionary. If my wife wants to spend all of her money on shoes, and I opt to spend all of my money on CD鈥檚, that is our prerogative. I definitely take offense to Chapman鈥檚 statement of 鈥淚f you are not ready for this kind of unity, then you are not ready for marriage鈥� when he mandates that couples join all of their monetary resources.
鈥� Finally, I think there are at least three points of conflict that Chapman overlooked in his book that are often major issues for modern couples:
1.) During his treatment of extended family relationships (Chapter 10), he makes no mention of the issues that can arise for couples trying to care for aging parents, and the realities of being within the so-called 鈥渟andwich generation鈥�.
2.) Chapman barely mentions any issues related to parenting and all of the things that accompany that aspect of married life. My wife and I have often said 鈥済etting married was easy鈥aving children changes everything.鈥�
3.) I touched on this already above, but I will reiterate that Chapman ignores the challenges that are presented to couples in dual career relationships. Matters of competition, work-life balance, and employer geography can be just as contentious if not more so than any of the other matters he did discuss.
Overall, I think the book 鈥淭hings I Wish I鈥檇 Known Before We Got Married鈥� can give single and engaged young adults some good things to consider. But, I also think that Gary Chapman misses the mark on some topics, and does more harm than good on others.
August 28, 2019
2nd review
鬲毓鬲亘乇 丕賱乇睾亘丕鬲 噩丕賳亘丕 睾丕賲囟丕 賵 賲乇賰亘丕 賮賷 丕賱賳賮爻 丕賱廿賳爻丕賳賷丞
亘毓丿 丕爻鬲賯乇丕亍 賱賱賵丕賯毓 賵 賱亘毓囟 丕賱賯乇丕亍丕鬲 丕賱毓賱賲賷丞 丕賱賲鬲禺氐氐丞 丕賰鬲卮賮鬲 兀賳 丕賱賲卮丕毓乇 賵 丕賱乇睾亘丕鬲 亘賲丕 賮賷賴丕 丕賱噩賳爻 噩丕賳亘 賲賴賲 賵賱丕 賷噩亘 賰亘鬲賴 兀賵 廿賴賲丕賱賴 .. 賱賰賳 賳噩丕丨 丕賱夭賵丕噩 賱丕 賷毓鬲賲丿 毓賱賷賴 賮賯胤 賲丕 賱賲 賷賰鬲賲賱 賴匕丕 丕賱噩丕賳亘 丕賱廿賱賴賷 賮賷賳丕 亘丕賱賲賵丿丞 賵 丕賱乇丨賲丞 賵 丕賱鬲賵丕賮賯 丕賱賮賰乇賷 賵 丕賱賳賮爻賷 爻賷氐賷乇 亘賴賷賲賷丞 亘丨鬲丞 ... 丕賱賵丕賯毓 賷禺亘乇賳丕 兀賳 丕賱賲卮丕毓乇 丕賱噩賷丕卮丞 賵 丕賱乇睾亘丕鬲 丕賱賲卮鬲毓賱丞 鬲鬲乇丕丨毓 亘卮賰賱 賰亘賷乇 亘毓丿 爻賳丞 兀賵 廿孬賳賷賳 賲賳 丕賱夭賵丕噩 賵 賳賱丕丨馗 匕賱賰 賮賷 兀睾賱亘 丕賱夭賷噩丕鬲 賵 賴匕丕 胤亘賷毓賷 噩丿丕 ... 丕賱賲卮賰賱丞 兀賳 丕賱賰孬賷乇 賷禺鬲丕乇 卮乇賷賰 丨賷丕鬲賴 亘賳丕亍丕 毓賱賶 丕賱丕賳噩匕丕亘 賮賯胤.. 亘毓丿 賴丿賵亍 乇睾亘丕鬲賰 爻鬲丨鬲丕噩 丕賱賶 賳賮爻 鬲鬲賮賴賲賰 賵 鬲丨鬲賵賷賰 鬲賯賮 亘噩丕賳亘賰 賵 鬲丿賮毓賰 賱賱兀賲丕賲 ... 鬲丨鬲丕噩 丕賱賶 丕賱賳賯丕卮 賵 丕賱丨賵丕乇 賵 丕賱賲賵丕賯賮 丕賱賲亘匕賵賱丞 賱鬲毓賷卮 丨賷丕丞 丨賲賷賲賷丞 賲爻鬲賯乇丞 .. 丕賱賲卮丕毓乇 丕賱噩賷丕卮丞 賷賲賰賳 兀賳 鬲賳丿乇噩 賮賷 丕賱丨亘 賱賰鬲賴丕 賱丕 鬲卮賰賱 丕賱丨亘 丕賱丕 亘鬲丿丕禺賱 兀賲賵乇 兀禺乇賶 ... 爻亘丨丕賳 丕賱匕賷 禺賱賯 丕賱廿賳爻丕賳 賮兀丨爻賳 鬲賯賵賷賲賴
丕賱賱賴賲 丕賱賵毓賷 丕賱賵毓賷 賵 丕賱丨賰賲丞 丕賱丨賰賲丞 賱賱賮賴賲 丕賱匕賷 賷賱賷賯 亘賴匕丕 丕賱爻乇 丕賱毓噩賷亘
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賱賰鬲丕亘 賲賮賷丿 亘賱 賵 兀乇賶 兀賳 賴匕丕 丕賱賳賵毓 賲賳 丕賱賯乇丕亍丞 賵 丕賱賲賳丕賯卮丞 囟乇賵乇賷 賱丕丿乇丕賰 賲賮賴賵賲 丕賱夭賵丕噩 賵 亘賳丕亍 毓賱丕賯丞 毓賱賶 賲丿賶 丕賱毓賲乇 ...禺丕氐丞 賱賱賷丕賮毓賷賳 丕賱賲鬲賷賲賷賳 賷丐爻賮賳賷 丕賱賯賵賱 兀賳 丕賱丨亘 賰賲卮丕毓乇 睾賷乇 賰丕賮賷丞 賱丕賳噩丕丨 鬲賱賰 丕賱毓賱丕賯丞 賱賰賳 丕賱丨亘 丕賱賵丕賯毓賷 賷爻鬲丨賯 兀賳 賳亘匕賱 噩賴丿丕 賱賱丨賮丕馗 毓賱賷賴 賮賲乇丨賱丞 丕賱丨亘 丕賱乇賵賲賳爻賷 賱賳 鬲爻鬲賲乇 胤賵賷賱丕 賱鬲賰鬲爻賷 賳囟噩丕 賵賵丕賯毓賷丞 賮賮賷 丕賱亘丿丕賷丞 賯丿 賷亘丿賵 兀賳 賰賱 卮賷亍 毓賱賶 賲丕賷乇丕賲 賱賰賳 丕匕丕 馗賳賳丕 兀賳 匕賱賰 丕賱丨亘 爻賷爻鬲賲乇 亘丿賵賳 兀賳 賳囟丨賷 賵 賳鬲賳丕夭賱 賵 賳亘匕賱 噩賴丿丕 賮丕賱賲丐賰丿 兀賳 丕賱毓賱丕賯丞 爻鬲丐賵賱 賱賱賮卮賱 丕賱賲丨鬲賲
賷亘丿賵 兀賳 丕賱兀賲乇 賱賷爻 亘丕賱爻賴賱 賰賲丕 賳馗賳 兀亘丿丕 丕賱丕毓丿丕丿 賱賱夭賵丕噩 賱賷爻 丕賱丕 丕賱賵丕噩賴丞 丕賱亘乇丕賯丞
丕賱夭賵丕噩 賲爻丐賵賱賷丞 毓馗賷賲丞 賱匕賱賰 賱丕亘丿 賱賲賳 賷賮賰乇 賮賷 禺賵囟 賴匕賴 丕賱鬲噩乇亘丞 兀賳 賷鬲賮胤賳 賱賱賰孬賷乇 賲賳 丕賱兀賲賵乇 丕賱鬲賷 賷噩亘 兀賳 鬲賳丕賯卮 賵 賷丿乇賰 兀賳賴 賱賳 賷氐賱 丕賱賶 賳鬲賷噩丞 賲乇囟賷丞 賱賱胤乇賮賷賳 丕賳 賱賲 賷鬲禺賱賶 毓賳 兀賳丕賳賷鬲賴 丕賱賲鬲兀氐賱丞 賮賷 丕賱丕賳爻丕賳
賰賱賳丕 賳毓乇賮 丕賱賰賱丕賲 賵 鬲亘賯賶 丕賱鬲噩乇亘丞 賵 丕賱賵丕賯毓 禺賷乇 賲毓賱賲
賳爻兀賱 丕賱賱賴 丕賱毓賵賳
鬲毓鬲亘乇 丕賱乇睾亘丕鬲 噩丕賳亘丕 睾丕賲囟丕 賵 賲乇賰亘丕 賮賷 丕賱賳賮爻 丕賱廿賳爻丕賳賷丞
亘毓丿 丕爻鬲賯乇丕亍 賱賱賵丕賯毓 賵 賱亘毓囟 丕賱賯乇丕亍丕鬲 丕賱毓賱賲賷丞 丕賱賲鬲禺氐氐丞 丕賰鬲卮賮鬲 兀賳 丕賱賲卮丕毓乇 賵 丕賱乇睾亘丕鬲 亘賲丕 賮賷賴丕 丕賱噩賳爻 噩丕賳亘 賲賴賲 賵賱丕 賷噩亘 賰亘鬲賴 兀賵 廿賴賲丕賱賴 .. 賱賰賳 賳噩丕丨 丕賱夭賵丕噩 賱丕 賷毓鬲賲丿 毓賱賷賴 賮賯胤 賲丕 賱賲 賷賰鬲賲賱 賴匕丕 丕賱噩丕賳亘 丕賱廿賱賴賷 賮賷賳丕 亘丕賱賲賵丿丞 賵 丕賱乇丨賲丞 賵 丕賱鬲賵丕賮賯 丕賱賮賰乇賷 賵 丕賱賳賮爻賷 爻賷氐賷乇 亘賴賷賲賷丞 亘丨鬲丞 ... 丕賱賵丕賯毓 賷禺亘乇賳丕 兀賳 丕賱賲卮丕毓乇 丕賱噩賷丕卮丞 賵 丕賱乇睾亘丕鬲 丕賱賲卮鬲毓賱丞 鬲鬲乇丕丨毓 亘卮賰賱 賰亘賷乇 亘毓丿 爻賳丞 兀賵 廿孬賳賷賳 賲賳 丕賱夭賵丕噩 賵 賳賱丕丨馗 匕賱賰 賮賷 兀睾賱亘 丕賱夭賷噩丕鬲 賵 賴匕丕 胤亘賷毓賷 噩丿丕 ... 丕賱賲卮賰賱丞 兀賳 丕賱賰孬賷乇 賷禺鬲丕乇 卮乇賷賰 丨賷丕鬲賴 亘賳丕亍丕 毓賱賶 丕賱丕賳噩匕丕亘 賮賯胤.. 亘毓丿 賴丿賵亍 乇睾亘丕鬲賰 爻鬲丨鬲丕噩 丕賱賶 賳賮爻 鬲鬲賮賴賲賰 賵 鬲丨鬲賵賷賰 鬲賯賮 亘噩丕賳亘賰 賵 鬲丿賮毓賰 賱賱兀賲丕賲 ... 鬲丨鬲丕噩 丕賱賶 丕賱賳賯丕卮 賵 丕賱丨賵丕乇 賵 丕賱賲賵丕賯賮 丕賱賲亘匕賵賱丞 賱鬲毓賷卮 丨賷丕丞 丨賲賷賲賷丞 賲爻鬲賯乇丞 .. 丕賱賲卮丕毓乇 丕賱噩賷丕卮丞 賷賲賰賳 兀賳 鬲賳丿乇噩 賮賷 丕賱丨亘 賱賰鬲賴丕 賱丕 鬲卮賰賱 丕賱丨亘 丕賱丕 亘鬲丿丕禺賱 兀賲賵乇 兀禺乇賶 ... 爻亘丨丕賳 丕賱匕賷 禺賱賯 丕賱廿賳爻丕賳 賮兀丨爻賳 鬲賯賵賷賲賴
丕賱賱賴賲 丕賱賵毓賷 丕賱賵毓賷 賵 丕賱丨賰賲丞 丕賱丨賰賲丞 賱賱賮賴賲 丕賱匕賷 賷賱賷賯 亘賴匕丕 丕賱爻乇 丕賱毓噩賷亘
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賱賰鬲丕亘 賲賮賷丿 亘賱 賵 兀乇賶 兀賳 賴匕丕 丕賱賳賵毓 賲賳 丕賱賯乇丕亍丞 賵 丕賱賲賳丕賯卮丞 囟乇賵乇賷 賱丕丿乇丕賰 賲賮賴賵賲 丕賱夭賵丕噩 賵 亘賳丕亍 毓賱丕賯丞 毓賱賶 賲丿賶 丕賱毓賲乇 ...禺丕氐丞 賱賱賷丕賮毓賷賳 丕賱賲鬲賷賲賷賳 賷丐爻賮賳賷 丕賱賯賵賱 兀賳 丕賱丨亘 賰賲卮丕毓乇 睾賷乇 賰丕賮賷丞 賱丕賳噩丕丨 鬲賱賰 丕賱毓賱丕賯丞 賱賰賳 丕賱丨亘 丕賱賵丕賯毓賷 賷爻鬲丨賯 兀賳 賳亘匕賱 噩賴丿丕 賱賱丨賮丕馗 毓賱賷賴 賮賲乇丨賱丞 丕賱丨亘 丕賱乇賵賲賳爻賷 賱賳 鬲爻鬲賲乇 胤賵賷賱丕 賱鬲賰鬲爻賷 賳囟噩丕 賵賵丕賯毓賷丞 賮賮賷 丕賱亘丿丕賷丞 賯丿 賷亘丿賵 兀賳 賰賱 卮賷亍 毓賱賶 賲丕賷乇丕賲 賱賰賳 丕匕丕 馗賳賳丕 兀賳 匕賱賰 丕賱丨亘 爻賷爻鬲賲乇 亘丿賵賳 兀賳 賳囟丨賷 賵 賳鬲賳丕夭賱 賵 賳亘匕賱 噩賴丿丕 賮丕賱賲丐賰丿 兀賳 丕賱毓賱丕賯丞 爻鬲丐賵賱 賱賱賮卮賱 丕賱賲丨鬲賲
賷亘丿賵 兀賳 丕賱兀賲乇 賱賷爻 亘丕賱爻賴賱 賰賲丕 賳馗賳 兀亘丿丕 丕賱丕毓丿丕丿 賱賱夭賵丕噩 賱賷爻 丕賱丕 丕賱賵丕噩賴丞 丕賱亘乇丕賯丞
丕賱夭賵丕噩 賲爻丐賵賱賷丞 毓馗賷賲丞 賱匕賱賰 賱丕亘丿 賱賲賳 賷賮賰乇 賮賷 禺賵囟 賴匕賴 丕賱鬲噩乇亘丞 兀賳 賷鬲賮胤賳 賱賱賰孬賷乇 賲賳 丕賱兀賲賵乇 丕賱鬲賷 賷噩亘 兀賳 鬲賳丕賯卮 賵 賷丿乇賰 兀賳賴 賱賳 賷氐賱 丕賱賶 賳鬲賷噩丞 賲乇囟賷丞 賱賱胤乇賮賷賳 丕賳 賱賲 賷鬲禺賱賶 毓賳 兀賳丕賳賷鬲賴 丕賱賲鬲兀氐賱丞 賮賷 丕賱丕賳爻丕賳
賰賱賳丕 賳毓乇賮 丕賱賰賱丕賲 賵 鬲亘賯賶 丕賱鬲噩乇亘丞 賵 丕賱賵丕賯毓 禺賷乇 賲毓賱賲
賳爻兀賱 丕賱賱賴 丕賱毓賵賳
August 31, 2015
Easy read. Comprehensive.
I agree with most of the points covered in this book.
- Love is NOT enough to build a successful happy marriage.
- There needs to be spiritual intimacy. To ignore those is a sign of immaturity. Do you both believe in God. How do often do you practice? Does it mean much to you that your partner is as dedicated/not dedicated as you? What if you had children?
- Something deep within the human psyche cries for an exclusive relationship. Not all are comfortable with their partner's past experiences. But you have to be honest and share before either of you commit to marriage.
- It would take one year for newly married couple to learn how to have mutual sex satisfaction. STOP basing your expectations on movies/novels!
- The pessimist & the optimist are often attracted to each other. This attraction can turn sour if there was no understanding and appreciation to the differences and boundaries. Example, a morning person & a night person might agree to have sex at 10 pm & then the night person can continue to pursue other activities until midnight or so. A morning person needs to appreciate that a night person is not as upbeat and ready to seize the day as they are at 7 AM ;p *haaha so me!*
- When arguing each one of you believes their idea is the best idea. Accept that fact. Not all conflicts are major. You do not have to win in every argument. LISTEN. Meet in the middle. Take time to solve issues if need be.
- Apologizing is a sign of STRENGTH! Every person interprets an apology differently. Some sorry is enough. Others understanding your mistake.
- Forgiveness DOES NOT destroy our memory. If you cannot forget what the other person has done that does not mean you have not forgiven them. Earning trust back needs time. Forgiveness does not remove all the consequences of wrongdoing. You have to accept that fact. Finally, forgiveness does not always result in reconciliation. Sometimes couples can not get past an issue and separation is the only option.
- Toilets will NOT clean themselves *LOL! If only*. Agree on who does what. And revisit and change responsibilities.
- How do you plan on handling your finances. Their debts become yours. You and I is We now. Do you give to charity? Do you help out family? What do you consider expensive? What do you consider is a luxury?
- You will marry into a family! How are you planning to coupe with in laws if they are near you.
You might get anxious reading this book. But marriage is hard work this is what I came to realise. but if you BOTH invest in it, I think it gets easier and you'll be natural at it. In the end hopefully the rewards will be worth it.
Being single is so much easier ;p
I agree with most of the points covered in this book.
- Love is NOT enough to build a successful happy marriage.
- There needs to be spiritual intimacy. To ignore those is a sign of immaturity. Do you both believe in God. How do often do you practice? Does it mean much to you that your partner is as dedicated/not dedicated as you? What if you had children?
- Something deep within the human psyche cries for an exclusive relationship. Not all are comfortable with their partner's past experiences. But you have to be honest and share before either of you commit to marriage.
- It would take one year for newly married couple to learn how to have mutual sex satisfaction. STOP basing your expectations on movies/novels!
- The pessimist & the optimist are often attracted to each other. This attraction can turn sour if there was no understanding and appreciation to the differences and boundaries. Example, a morning person & a night person might agree to have sex at 10 pm & then the night person can continue to pursue other activities until midnight or so. A morning person needs to appreciate that a night person is not as upbeat and ready to seize the day as they are at 7 AM ;p *haaha so me!*
- When arguing each one of you believes their idea is the best idea. Accept that fact. Not all conflicts are major. You do not have to win in every argument. LISTEN. Meet in the middle. Take time to solve issues if need be.
- Apologizing is a sign of STRENGTH! Every person interprets an apology differently. Some sorry is enough. Others understanding your mistake.
- Forgiveness DOES NOT destroy our memory. If you cannot forget what the other person has done that does not mean you have not forgiven them. Earning trust back needs time. Forgiveness does not remove all the consequences of wrongdoing. You have to accept that fact. Finally, forgiveness does not always result in reconciliation. Sometimes couples can not get past an issue and separation is the only option.
- Toilets will NOT clean themselves *LOL! If only*. Agree on who does what. And revisit and change responsibilities.
- How do you plan on handling your finances. Their debts become yours. You and I is We now. Do you give to charity? Do you help out family? What do you consider expensive? What do you consider is a luxury?
- You will marry into a family! How are you planning to coupe with in laws if they are near you.
You might get anxious reading this book. But marriage is hard work this is what I came to realise. but if you BOTH invest in it, I think it gets easier and you'll be natural at it. In the end hopefully the rewards will be worth it.
Being single is so much easier ;p
August 17, 2012
I guess some might find it odd that someone who's been married for 39 years would read a book writen FOR those who are dating and considering marriag. Well, it was written by a man after he'd been married for quite a few years and there were things he felt were worth knowing, thinking about and talking about BEFORE couples got married; that might actually be useful to know b/c you might just NOT be making the best decision, even though these couples declare they are "in love".
I think a book like this should be required reading by any couple who is seriously considering marrying. Since the divorce rate is so high these days, maybe more consideration should go into asking SHOULD we get married. The information in this book looks at crucial areas where conflict arises and enables couples to take a deeper look into not just their love for each other, but their compatibility and their commitment.
On second thought, this is a book any high school student could benefit from reading. If sex ed is taught in elementary schools now, why not help kids learn about commitment in marriage! What a novel idea!
I think a book like this should be required reading by any couple who is seriously considering marrying. Since the divorce rate is so high these days, maybe more consideration should go into asking SHOULD we get married. The information in this book looks at crucial areas where conflict arises and enables couples to take a deeper look into not just their love for each other, but their compatibility and their commitment.
On second thought, this is a book any high school student could benefit from reading. If sex ed is taught in elementary schools now, why not help kids learn about commitment in marriage! What a novel idea!
March 1, 2023
Read this with my fianc茅. :)
August 15, 2017
Title: Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married
Written By: Gary Chapman
Genre: Relationships/Non-fiction
Recommended Ages: 16 & up
Introduction:
I have read two if Gary Chapman's books before (The Five Love Languages and Five Love Languages for Singles) and enjoyed them. When my friend gave my fiance and I this book, I knew I wanted to read it before our wedding. I'm glad I did. We had already talked about many of the things Gary mentions in his book, but there were a few that I think will be very helpful for us as we get married and move past the "tingles."
Clarity: .75/1
Most of what Mr. Chapman said was very clear and easy to understand. There were a few things that I was a little curious why he had to mention. Not because they were bad, but because I thought they were more obvious to talk about with a potential spouse than they apparently are.
Another thing that bugged me a little is that from what I understand, this book--and the author--is supposed to be geared toward Christians. But when he mentioned the Bible (fairly rare), he called it the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures. I'm probably being a little picky here, but I would have appreciated it if he would have called the Bible what it is and put in a few more Biblical reasons behind each of his tips.
Usability: 1/1
The majority of the book will definitely be usable. I know my fiance will not be able to read the whole book before the wedding, so I took quite a few notes while reading and after I finished it. And now I have a good conversation to have with him in the next week or so.
Readability: 1/1
The way the book was written and formatted made it easy to read.
Overall writing quality: .75/1
I can't remember finding any typos. The only problem I had was the personality test in the back that must have a link that is expired. I found another version of the test and emailed the people at his website to let them know it doesn't work anymore.
Un-put-down-ability: .75/1
This isn't one of those books that you simply can't put down. But it isn't so dry you don't ever want to pick it up again, either. It's a little more neutral with a fairly good tip on the former description's side.
Conclusion: 4.25/5
I would recommend this book to anyone who are going into a serious relationship, engaged, or even newly married. There are at least 3 chapters that could be helpful to newlyweds and might just save their marriage.
Written By: Gary Chapman
Genre: Relationships/Non-fiction
Recommended Ages: 16 & up
Introduction:
I have read two if Gary Chapman's books before (The Five Love Languages and Five Love Languages for Singles) and enjoyed them. When my friend gave my fiance and I this book, I knew I wanted to read it before our wedding. I'm glad I did. We had already talked about many of the things Gary mentions in his book, but there were a few that I think will be very helpful for us as we get married and move past the "tingles."
Clarity: .75/1
Most of what Mr. Chapman said was very clear and easy to understand. There were a few things that I was a little curious why he had to mention. Not because they were bad, but because I thought they were more obvious to talk about with a potential spouse than they apparently are.
Another thing that bugged me a little is that from what I understand, this book--and the author--is supposed to be geared toward Christians. But when he mentioned the Bible (fairly rare), he called it the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures. I'm probably being a little picky here, but I would have appreciated it if he would have called the Bible what it is and put in a few more Biblical reasons behind each of his tips.
Usability: 1/1
The majority of the book will definitely be usable. I know my fiance will not be able to read the whole book before the wedding, so I took quite a few notes while reading and after I finished it. And now I have a good conversation to have with him in the next week or so.
Readability: 1/1
The way the book was written and formatted made it easy to read.
Overall writing quality: .75/1
I can't remember finding any typos. The only problem I had was the personality test in the back that must have a link that is expired. I found another version of the test and emailed the people at his website to let them know it doesn't work anymore.
Un-put-down-ability: .75/1
This isn't one of those books that you simply can't put down. But it isn't so dry you don't ever want to pick it up again, either. It's a little more neutral with a fairly good tip on the former description's side.
Conclusion: 4.25/5
I would recommend this book to anyone who are going into a serious relationship, engaged, or even newly married. There are at least 3 chapters that could be helpful to newlyweds and might just save their marriage.
August 15, 2023
賰鬲丕亘 賱賳賮爻 賲丐賱賮 賰鬲丕亘 (賱睾丕鬲 丕賱丨亘 丕賱禺賲爻)
賮丕卅丿丞 賲丨丿賵丿丞
賮賷 孬賳丕賷丕 丕賱賰鬲丕亘貙 兀丿乇噩 賱睾丕鬲 丕賱丨亘 丕賱禺賲爻 丕賱鬲賷 鬲囟賲賳賴丕 賰鬲丕亘賴 丕賱卮賴賷乇貙 賵賴賷:
1- 賰賱賲丕鬲 丕賱鬲賯丿賷乇
2- 鬲賯丿賷賲 丕賱禺丿賲丕鬲 (丕賱兀賮毓丕賱)
3- 鬲賯丿賷賲 丕賱賴丿丕賷丕
4- 賵賯鬲 賯賷賾賲 (quality time)
5- 丕賱鬲賱丕賲爻 丕賱噩爻丿賷
"鬲賵噩丿 賲乇丨賱鬲丕賳 賱賱丨亘貙 丕賱賲乇丨賱丞 丕賱兀賵賱賶 賱丕 鬲丿賵賲 兀賰孬乇 賲賳 爻賳鬲賷賳 毓丕丿丞.
賲賳 丕賱丨賰賲丞 兀賳 丕賱賲卮丕毓乇 賵丕賱亘賴噩丞 賱丕 鬲爻鬲賲乇 胤賵賷賱丕 賵廿賱丕 賰丕賳 丕賱賯賱賷賱 賲賳丕 兀賳噩夭 賮賷 賲噩丕賱 丕賱鬲毓賱賷賲 兀賵 丕賱鬲胤賵乇 丕賱賲賴賳賷 兀賵 賮賷 丕賱兀賳卮胤丞 丕賱丕噩鬲賲丕毓賷丞 賵丕賱禺賷乇賷丞. 賱兀賳 賮賷 丕賱賲乇丨賱丞 丕賱兀賵賱賶 (賲乇丨賱丞 丕賱賵賯賵毓 賮賷 丕賱丨亘) 賱丕 賷賴賲賳丕 丕賱毓丕賱賲 賲賳 丨賵賱賳丕 亘賱 賷賰賵賳 鬲乇賰賷夭賳丕 兀賳 賳賰賵賳 賲毓丕"
賲丨乇賾賲 - 1445
鬲賲賵夭 - 2023
賮丕卅丿丞 賲丨丿賵丿丞
賮賷 孬賳丕賷丕 丕賱賰鬲丕亘貙 兀丿乇噩 賱睾丕鬲 丕賱丨亘 丕賱禺賲爻 丕賱鬲賷 鬲囟賲賳賴丕 賰鬲丕亘賴 丕賱卮賴賷乇貙 賵賴賷:
1- 賰賱賲丕鬲 丕賱鬲賯丿賷乇
2- 鬲賯丿賷賲 丕賱禺丿賲丕鬲 (丕賱兀賮毓丕賱)
3- 鬲賯丿賷賲 丕賱賴丿丕賷丕
4- 賵賯鬲 賯賷賾賲 (quality time)
5- 丕賱鬲賱丕賲爻 丕賱噩爻丿賷
"鬲賵噩丿 賲乇丨賱鬲丕賳 賱賱丨亘貙 丕賱賲乇丨賱丞 丕賱兀賵賱賶 賱丕 鬲丿賵賲 兀賰孬乇 賲賳 爻賳鬲賷賳 毓丕丿丞.
賲賳 丕賱丨賰賲丞 兀賳 丕賱賲卮丕毓乇 賵丕賱亘賴噩丞 賱丕 鬲爻鬲賲乇 胤賵賷賱丕 賵廿賱丕 賰丕賳 丕賱賯賱賷賱 賲賳丕 兀賳噩夭 賮賷 賲噩丕賱 丕賱鬲毓賱賷賲 兀賵 丕賱鬲胤賵乇 丕賱賲賴賳賷 兀賵 賮賷 丕賱兀賳卮胤丞 丕賱丕噩鬲賲丕毓賷丞 賵丕賱禺賷乇賷丞. 賱兀賳 賮賷 丕賱賲乇丨賱丞 丕賱兀賵賱賶 (賲乇丨賱丞 丕賱賵賯賵毓 賮賷 丕賱丨亘) 賱丕 賷賴賲賳丕 丕賱毓丕賱賲 賲賳 丨賵賱賳丕 亘賱 賷賰賵賳 鬲乇賰賷夭賳丕 兀賳 賳賰賵賳 賲毓丕"
賲丨乇賾賲 - 1445
鬲賲賵夭 - 2023
December 18, 2018
賰鬲丕亘 乇丕卅毓貙 賷囟賲 丕賱賲禺鬲氐乇 丕賱賲賮賷丿 賱兀賴賲 丕賱賳賯丕胤 丕賱鬲賷 賷賳亘睾賷 毓賱賶 丕賱賲賯亘賱賷賳 毓賱賶 丕賱夭賵丕噩 丕賱兀丨丕胤丞 亘賴丕貙 賵丕賱賲賵丕囟賷毓 丕賱鬲賷 賷噩亘 賲賳丕賯卮鬲賴丕貙 賵賷丨賲賱 賮賷 賲噩賲賱賴 氐賵乇丞 賵丕賯毓賷丞 賱賲丕 賷賲賰賳 兀賳 賷鬲氐賵乇賴 丕賱卮乇賰丕亍 毓賳 丕賱毓賱丕賯丕鬲 賵丕賱丨賷丕丞 丕賱兀爻乇賷丞
兀毓胤賷賴 禺賲爻 賳噩賵賲 賱兀賳賷 賲賳 賲丨亘賷 噩丕乇賷 鬲卮丕亘賲丕賳貙 賵兀丨亘 賲胤丕賱毓丞 賰賱 賲丕 賷噩賵丿 亘賴 賯賱賲賴貙 賵賲丕 賷賯丿賲賴 賱賳丕 賮賷 噩賲賷毓 賰鬲亘賴 賲賳 賳氐丕卅丨 賲禺賱氐丞 賵氐丕丿賯丞 賲氐丨賵亘丞 亘鬲丿乇賷亘丕鬲 毓賲賱賷丞 賷賲賰賳 鬲胤亘賷賯賴丕
賵賲丕 賷賲賷夭 賰鬲丕亘丕鬲賴 毓賲賵賲丕 賴賵 賵丕賯毓賷鬲賴丕 丕賱卮丿賷丿丞貙 賵賵氐賮賴丕 丕賱氐丕卅亘 丕賱丿賯賷賯 賱賲禺鬲賱賮 賲丕 賷噩賵賱 賮賷 禺賵丕胤乇賳丕 賲賳 丕囟胤乇丕亘丕鬲貙 賮鬲卮毓乇 兀賳賴 賷鬲丨丿孬 毓賳賰貙 賵兀賳 賲丕 賷爻乇丿賴 賲賳 賯氐氐 鬲卮亘賴賰貙 賵賲乇乇鬲 亘賴丕 賲賳 賯亘賱貙 丿賵賳 賲睾丕賱丕丞 兀賵 鬲丨賱賷賯 賮賷 爻賲丕亍 丕賱賲孬丕賱賷丞 賵丕賱禺賷丕賱
兀卮毓乇 亘丕賱賮乇賯 亘毓丿 賰賱 賰鬲丕亘 兀賯乇丕亍賴 賱賴貙 賴賵 丨鬲賲丕 賰鬲丕亘 賷囟賷賮 賱賯丕乇卅賴貙 賵賷丨鬲乇賲 毓賯賱賴 賵賷匕賰賷 毓丕胤賮鬲賴貙 賵廿囟丕賮丞 賰亘賷乇丞 賱丨賷丕丞 夭賵丨賷丞 賵氐丨丞 賳賮爻賷丞 兀賮囟賱.. 賵賱賲 兀賳丿賲 賷賵賲丕 毓賱賶 賯乇丕亍丞 卮賷亍 賱賴貙 亘賱 兀卮毓乇 亘丕賱丕賲鬲賳丕賳 賵賲夭賷丿 賲賳 丕賱賳囟噩 賮賰乇賷丕 賵毓丕胤賮賷丕
兀毓胤賷賴 禺賲爻 賳噩賵賲 賱兀賳賷 賲賳 賲丨亘賷 噩丕乇賷 鬲卮丕亘賲丕賳貙 賵兀丨亘 賲胤丕賱毓丞 賰賱 賲丕 賷噩賵丿 亘賴 賯賱賲賴貙 賵賲丕 賷賯丿賲賴 賱賳丕 賮賷 噩賲賷毓 賰鬲亘賴 賲賳 賳氐丕卅丨 賲禺賱氐丞 賵氐丕丿賯丞 賲氐丨賵亘丞 亘鬲丿乇賷亘丕鬲 毓賲賱賷丞 賷賲賰賳 鬲胤亘賷賯賴丕
賵賲丕 賷賲賷夭 賰鬲丕亘丕鬲賴 毓賲賵賲丕 賴賵 賵丕賯毓賷鬲賴丕 丕賱卮丿賷丿丞貙 賵賵氐賮賴丕 丕賱氐丕卅亘 丕賱丿賯賷賯 賱賲禺鬲賱賮 賲丕 賷噩賵賱 賮賷 禺賵丕胤乇賳丕 賲賳 丕囟胤乇丕亘丕鬲貙 賮鬲卮毓乇 兀賳賴 賷鬲丨丿孬 毓賳賰貙 賵兀賳 賲丕 賷爻乇丿賴 賲賳 賯氐氐 鬲卮亘賴賰貙 賵賲乇乇鬲 亘賴丕 賲賳 賯亘賱貙 丿賵賳 賲睾丕賱丕丞 兀賵 鬲丨賱賷賯 賮賷 爻賲丕亍 丕賱賲孬丕賱賷丞 賵丕賱禺賷丕賱
兀卮毓乇 亘丕賱賮乇賯 亘毓丿 賰賱 賰鬲丕亘 兀賯乇丕亍賴 賱賴貙 賴賵 丨鬲賲丕 賰鬲丕亘 賷囟賷賮 賱賯丕乇卅賴貙 賵賷丨鬲乇賲 毓賯賱賴 賵賷匕賰賷 毓丕胤賮鬲賴貙 賵廿囟丕賮丞 賰亘賷乇丞 賱丨賷丕丞 夭賵丨賷丞 賵氐丨丞 賳賮爻賷丞 兀賮囟賱.. 賵賱賲 兀賳丿賲 賷賵賲丕 毓賱賶 賯乇丕亍丞 卮賷亍 賱賴貙 亘賱 兀卮毓乇 亘丕賱丕賲鬲賳丕賳 賵賲夭賷丿 賲賳 丕賱賳囟噩 賮賰乇賷丕 賵毓丕胤賮賷丕
January 21, 2015
I think that for young couples, this book could be extremely helpful. As a woman in her 30s, this book felt like it only covered surface material. My boyfriend and I have each lived on our own. We've done all the chores. We've discussed which we like and dislike, but we've been out of our parents' homes for years, and even when I lived at home, my parents split the duties pretty evenly.
Again, I don't think this book is bad. I simply wish I would've known it was geared toward young couples who have just flown the coop, so to speak.
Again, I don't think this book is bad. I simply wish I would've known it was geared toward young couples who have just flown the coop, so to speak.
February 1, 2021
This was a good informative read, just like The 5 love languages I really did enjoy/learn a lot from Gary Chapman. I鈥檓 definitely rereading this with my future husband.
I am going to force him to read it and have discussions after each chapter lol.
I am going to force him to read it and have discussions after each chapter lol.
February 2, 2018
Before I start my review, let me preface by saying that I am not Chapman's target audience. I am not single, considering marriage, or newlywed. Accordingly, much of the rubber-meets-the-road advice about how to conduct onesself in a bewildering new domestic arrangement, I learned the hard way.
I made it through almost half of this pile of shit before I gave up. Chapman is a Christian minister, and he can't resist a little bit of proselytizing (in spite of the fact that he's tackling issues applicable to a much wider audience). I could indulge him in that. What I couldn't bear was the unapologetic heteronormativity. Chapman routinely discusses marriage as an unbreakable oath taken between a man and a woman, and one that carries a number of emotional labors. To his credit, he calls on men to shoulder some of the burden--learning to apologize, for example. To his debit, he doesn't intuit that this still pattern-checks "old-fashioned" marital values, and that this is detrimental to the receptivity of its readers. Not all of us had mothers and fathers and siblings to learn from, and failing to even pay lip service to the mere existence of families that don't meet his stringent expectations of structure and gender is unforgivable.
If we look past his homophobia and his tacit approval for traditional gender roles, there still isn't a book worth reading underneath. More than marriage, the target audience is people who've never *lived* together. Using one as a proxy for the other just demonstrates how hopelessly out of touch Chapman is. Maybe most of the couples he's counseled fit this mold. Maybe most of them lied about it, because who wants to tell their evangelical pastor that they're living together out of wedlock?
This book would've been cutting-edge emotional economics in 1950, but in 2017 it just makes Chapman sound like his head is so far up his own ass, he can't tell what decade it is.
If you dig past THAT, there's a kernel of usefulness here. Apologies must be made because people and feeling are fragile. Forgiveness doesn't eliminate hurtness or restore trust. When you're assembling a lifestyle with another person (or other people), chores must be done by someone, so that is a decision that must be made. If only Chapman were willing to write secular prose for people who weren't exactly like him, he could've written a great book of advice. Sadly, he wrote this. Do yourself a favor: don't read it.
I made it through almost half of this pile of shit before I gave up. Chapman is a Christian minister, and he can't resist a little bit of proselytizing (in spite of the fact that he's tackling issues applicable to a much wider audience). I could indulge him in that. What I couldn't bear was the unapologetic heteronormativity. Chapman routinely discusses marriage as an unbreakable oath taken between a man and a woman, and one that carries a number of emotional labors. To his credit, he calls on men to shoulder some of the burden--learning to apologize, for example. To his debit, he doesn't intuit that this still pattern-checks "old-fashioned" marital values, and that this is detrimental to the receptivity of its readers. Not all of us had mothers and fathers and siblings to learn from, and failing to even pay lip service to the mere existence of families that don't meet his stringent expectations of structure and gender is unforgivable.
If we look past his homophobia and his tacit approval for traditional gender roles, there still isn't a book worth reading underneath. More than marriage, the target audience is people who've never *lived* together. Using one as a proxy for the other just demonstrates how hopelessly out of touch Chapman is. Maybe most of the couples he's counseled fit this mold. Maybe most of them lied about it, because who wants to tell their evangelical pastor that they're living together out of wedlock?
This book would've been cutting-edge emotional economics in 1950, but in 2017 it just makes Chapman sound like his head is so far up his own ass, he can't tell what decade it is.
If you dig past THAT, there's a kernel of usefulness here. Apologies must be made because people and feeling are fragile. Forgiveness doesn't eliminate hurtness or restore trust. When you're assembling a lifestyle with another person (or other people), chores must be done by someone, so that is a decision that must be made. If only Chapman were willing to write secular prose for people who weren't exactly like him, he could've written a great book of advice. Sadly, he wrote this. Do yourself a favor: don't read it.
February 26, 2019
It is a nice book!
The myth "happy ever after" and scenario we created in our head on what marriage looks like only to find out its not what we expected. Why there is a lot of pain and divorce only after marriage? why people want to get out of their marriage? why they seem happy together when dating and suddenly things changed after they get married? and a lot of unanswered question.
The good point is you have to learn about marriage before you commit yourself into it. And the "happy ever after" can become true only if you know all the necessity before you commit yourself.
I recommend the book for all who marriage is in their menu.
The myth "happy ever after" and scenario we created in our head on what marriage looks like only to find out its not what we expected. Why there is a lot of pain and divorce only after marriage? why people want to get out of their marriage? why they seem happy together when dating and suddenly things changed after they get married? and a lot of unanswered question.
The good point is you have to learn about marriage before you commit yourself into it. And the "happy ever after" can become true only if you know all the necessity before you commit yourself.
I recommend the book for all who marriage is in their menu.
December 11, 2024
賰鬲丕亘 "賰賳鬲 兀賵丿 兀賳 兀毓乇賮 賴匕丕 賯亘賱 兀賳 兀鬲夭賵噩" 賴賵 丿賱賷賱 毓賲賱賷 賵卮丕賲賱 賷賯丿賲 賳氐丕卅丨 賵廿乇卮丕丿丕鬲 賯賷賲丞 賱賱兀夭賵丕噩 丕賱賲爻鬲賯亘賱賷賷賳. 賷賴丿賮 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 廿賱賶 賲爻丕毓丿丞 丕賱賲賯亘賱賷賳 毓賱賶 丕賱夭賵丕噩 賮賷 賮賴賲 丿賷賳丕賲賷賰賷丕鬲 丕賱毓賱丕賯丕鬲 丕賱夭賵噩賷丞貙 賵鬲噩賳亘 丕賱賲卮丕賰賱 丕賱卮丕卅毓丞貙 賵亘賳丕亍 夭賵丕噩 爻毓賷丿 賵賲爻鬲賯乇.
丕賱兀賮賰丕乇 丕賱乇卅賷爻賷丞 丕賱鬲賷 賷鬲賳丕賵賱賴丕 丕賱賰鬲丕亘:
丕禺鬲賷丕乇 丕賱卮乇賷賰 丕賱賲賳丕爻亘: 賷賯丿賲 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賲毓丕賷賷乇 賱丕禺鬲賷丕乇 卮乇賷賰 丕賱丨賷丕丞貙 賵賷卮丿丿 毓賱賶 兀賴賲賷丞 丕賱鬲賵丕賮賯 賮賷 丕賱賯賷賲 賵丕賱兀賴丿丕賮.
亘賳丕亍 毓賱丕賯丞 賯賵賷丞: 賷賯丿賲 丕爻鬲乇丕鬲賷噩賷丕鬲 賱亘賳丕亍 毓賱丕賯丞 賯賵賷丞 賵賲鬲賷賳丞 賲亘賳賷丞 毓賱賶 丕賱孬賯丞 賵丕賱丕丨鬲乇丕賲 賵丕賱丨亘.
丨賱 丕賱賲卮賰賱丕鬲: 賷鬲賳丕賵賱 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 胤乇賯丕賸 賮毓丕賱丞 賱丨賱 丕賱禺賱丕賮丕鬲 賵丕賱賲卮丕賰賱 丕賱鬲賷 賯丿 鬲賳卮兀 賮賷 丕賱丨賷丕丞 丕賱夭賵噩賷丞.
丕賱鬲賵丕氐賱 丕賱賮毓丕賱: 賷卮丿丿 毓賱賶 兀賴賲賷丞 丕賱鬲賵丕氐賱 丕賱賲賮鬲賵丨 賵丕賱氐乇賷丨 亘賷賳 丕賱夭賵噩賷賳貙 賵賰賷賮賷丞 鬲噩賳亘 爻賵亍 丕賱賮賴賲.
丕賱丨賷丕丞 丕賱噩賳爻賷丞: 賷鬲胤乇賯 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 廿賱賶 兀賴賲賷丞 丕賱丨賷丕丞 丕賱噩賳爻賷丞 丕賱爻毓賷丿丞 賮賷 丕賱夭賵丕噩貙 賵賰賷賮賷丞 丕賱丨賮丕馗 毓賱賷賴丕.
鬲乇亘賷丞 丕賱兀亘賳丕亍: 賷賯丿賲 賳氐丕卅丨 丨賵賱 鬲乇亘賷丞 丕賱兀亘賳丕亍貙 賵賰賷賮賷丞 亘賳丕亍 兀爻乇丞 爻毓賷丿丞
丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賷賵賮乇 賳馗乇丞 卮丕賲賱丞 毓賳 丕賱丨賷丕丞 丕賱夭賵噩賷丞貙 賵賷賯丿賲 兀丿賵丕鬲 毓賲賱賷丞 賱賲爻丕毓丿丞 丕賱兀夭賵丕噩 毓賱賶 亘賳丕亍 毓賱丕賯丕鬲 賯賵賷丞 賵爻毓賷丿丞.
丕賱兀賮賰丕乇 丕賱乇卅賷爻賷丞 丕賱鬲賷 賷鬲賳丕賵賱賴丕 丕賱賰鬲丕亘:
丕禺鬲賷丕乇 丕賱卮乇賷賰 丕賱賲賳丕爻亘: 賷賯丿賲 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賲毓丕賷賷乇 賱丕禺鬲賷丕乇 卮乇賷賰 丕賱丨賷丕丞貙 賵賷卮丿丿 毓賱賶 兀賴賲賷丞 丕賱鬲賵丕賮賯 賮賷 丕賱賯賷賲 賵丕賱兀賴丿丕賮.
亘賳丕亍 毓賱丕賯丞 賯賵賷丞: 賷賯丿賲 丕爻鬲乇丕鬲賷噩賷丕鬲 賱亘賳丕亍 毓賱丕賯丞 賯賵賷丞 賵賲鬲賷賳丞 賲亘賳賷丞 毓賱賶 丕賱孬賯丞 賵丕賱丕丨鬲乇丕賲 賵丕賱丨亘.
丨賱 丕賱賲卮賰賱丕鬲: 賷鬲賳丕賵賱 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 胤乇賯丕賸 賮毓丕賱丞 賱丨賱 丕賱禺賱丕賮丕鬲 賵丕賱賲卮丕賰賱 丕賱鬲賷 賯丿 鬲賳卮兀 賮賷 丕賱丨賷丕丞 丕賱夭賵噩賷丞.
丕賱鬲賵丕氐賱 丕賱賮毓丕賱: 賷卮丿丿 毓賱賶 兀賴賲賷丞 丕賱鬲賵丕氐賱 丕賱賲賮鬲賵丨 賵丕賱氐乇賷丨 亘賷賳 丕賱夭賵噩賷賳貙 賵賰賷賮賷丞 鬲噩賳亘 爻賵亍 丕賱賮賴賲.
丕賱丨賷丕丞 丕賱噩賳爻賷丞: 賷鬲胤乇賯 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 廿賱賶 兀賴賲賷丞 丕賱丨賷丕丞 丕賱噩賳爻賷丞 丕賱爻毓賷丿丞 賮賷 丕賱夭賵丕噩貙 賵賰賷賮賷丞 丕賱丨賮丕馗 毓賱賷賴丕.
鬲乇亘賷丞 丕賱兀亘賳丕亍: 賷賯丿賲 賳氐丕卅丨 丨賵賱 鬲乇亘賷丞 丕賱兀亘賳丕亍貙 賵賰賷賮賷丞 亘賳丕亍 兀爻乇丞 爻毓賷丿丞
丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賷賵賮乇 賳馗乇丞 卮丕賲賱丞 毓賳 丕賱丨賷丕丞 丕賱夭賵噩賷丞貙 賵賷賯丿賲 兀丿賵丕鬲 毓賲賱賷丞 賱賲爻丕毓丿丞 丕賱兀夭賵丕噩 毓賱賶 亘賳丕亍 毓賱丕賯丕鬲 賯賵賷丞 賵爻毓賷丿丞.
April 22, 2019
Here are some excerpts:
"Marriage, between a man and a woman, is the foundation of all human societies." (9)
"Confusion over roles is one of the most stressful aspects of contemporary marriages. In earlier generations where the husband was the provider and the wife the homemaker, there was little confusion over who would do what." (76)
"It becomes extremely important to discover what kind of Christian you are dating." (121)
"The reality is that previous sexual experience often becomes a psychological barrier in achieving sexual unity in marriage" (97) -- and he goes on to recommend a book written by an abstinence advocate
Suggests couples deal with difficult matters such as forgiving painful actions by praying to God to take away their feelings of hurt (69)
If you are not a Christian, hetero, traditional gender roles couple, this book is not for you. This book literally erases the possibility that people who fall outside of that mold exist. His other book, 5 Love Languages, assumes this readership as well but it is subtle enough that you can separate the wheat from the chaff. Not so with this book. The blatant gender essentialism, heteronormativity, and proselytizing makes it unreadable. Fine for people who are looking for Christian guides on marriage. But nowhere is it advertised as such. So it feels underhanded, meant to catch the "sinners" who pick up the book unawares and get them to convert.
"Marriage, between a man and a woman, is the foundation of all human societies." (9)
"Confusion over roles is one of the most stressful aspects of contemporary marriages. In earlier generations where the husband was the provider and the wife the homemaker, there was little confusion over who would do what." (76)
"It becomes extremely important to discover what kind of Christian you are dating." (121)
"The reality is that previous sexual experience often becomes a psychological barrier in achieving sexual unity in marriage" (97) -- and he goes on to recommend a book written by an abstinence advocate
Suggests couples deal with difficult matters such as forgiving painful actions by praying to God to take away their feelings of hurt (69)
If you are not a Christian, hetero, traditional gender roles couple, this book is not for you. This book literally erases the possibility that people who fall outside of that mold exist. His other book, 5 Love Languages, assumes this readership as well but it is subtle enough that you can separate the wheat from the chaff. Not so with this book. The blatant gender essentialism, heteronormativity, and proselytizing makes it unreadable. Fine for people who are looking for Christian guides on marriage. But nowhere is it advertised as such. So it feels underhanded, meant to catch the "sinners" who pick up the book unawares and get them to convert.
February 6, 2025
Quand ma m猫re m'a propos茅 ce livre , elle ne savait pas que je viens juste de le terminer 馃挋
Ce livre m'a bcp plu, il m'a inspir茅 脿 d茅couvrir le fameux livre: les 5 langages de l'amour, j'ai appris tant de choses, et des trucs que je consid猫re tr猫s n茅cessaire avant de se marier, bref ce livre vient juste au bon moment.
Ce livre m'a bcp plu, il m'a inspir茅 脿 d茅couvrir le fameux livre: les 5 langages de l'amour, j'ai appris tant de choses, et des trucs que je consid猫re tr猫s n茅cessaire avant de se marier, bref ce livre vient juste au bon moment.
October 6, 2013
This is the must read book before we get married. Seriously. So practical !!
Kita selalu dengar " No one plan to fail but they fail to plan " - bunyinya ala2 macam tu la kan.
Semua orang kalau boleh nak kawin sekali je seumur hidup tapi masalanya takda sapa yg pnh plan betul2. Kalau pasal bercuti ka bekerja kita plan dari awal kenapa tidak mengenai perkahwinan. Kalau majlis kawin pun kita plan bagai kenapa tidak mengenai kehidupan selepas itu yg pastinya lebih lama.
Dan utk plan itu,saya syorkan pembacaan buku ini. Isinya seakan remeh tapi benar :))
Kita selalu dengar " No one plan to fail but they fail to plan " - bunyinya ala2 macam tu la kan.
Semua orang kalau boleh nak kawin sekali je seumur hidup tapi masalanya takda sapa yg pnh plan betul2. Kalau pasal bercuti ka bekerja kita plan dari awal kenapa tidak mengenai perkahwinan. Kalau majlis kawin pun kita plan bagai kenapa tidak mengenai kehidupan selepas itu yg pastinya lebih lama.
Dan utk plan itu,saya syorkan pembacaan buku ini. Isinya seakan remeh tapi benar :))
March 23, 2022
I would not recommend this book to any couples I work with. I鈥檓 surprised it was published in 2010 because it reads like it鈥檚 1950. Very heteronormative, Christian, extremely limited views of marriage. Good points about love not being enough, suggestions to discuss finances and household tasks, but overall the offerings of the book do not outweigh how problematic the gendered and heteronormative outlook is.
February 11, 2018
I have zero plans or desires to ever get married. Ever. Seriously. But I really want to read this to see if I agree with all the things this guy has to say.
So, to fully offer my thoughts on it, I figured I'd have a running review going while I read it and share my thoughts for each chapter :-p So here goes:
Intro:
I appreciate that Gary himself has had a lot of hardship in his marriage, so at least he can speak from experience. However, I did not appreciate his statement "One conclusion is inevitable. Marriage, between a man and a woman, is the foundation of all human societies." Sorry Gary, there are other kinds of marriages other than a man and a woman (and they are equally as important). If you believe homosexuality is wrong, Gary, well, that's your jam, but when writing a book for others to read and learn from, you should keep your own beliefs and opinions out of it and stick to your facts (or in this case, the things you've learned and used to help others have a more successful marriage).
Chapter 1: I wish I had known that being in love is not an adequate foundation for building a successful marriage
This seems like the most common sense piece of knowledge EVER but unfortunately, it seems like our human race has gotten dumber as time goes on, and people seriously think this is a good reason to get married. Apparently people forget how easily they've "fallen in love" with every single ex they've ever had. It's just part of being in a relationship in the first couple years. You're always going to feel that when you start seeing someone new. That doesn't mean marriage should be the next step.
Chapter 2: I wish I had known that romantic love has two stages
This chapter really ties in with the last chapter and I fully support the idea of two stages of love. I can't remember if it was this chapter or the last where Gary talks about the first stage of love lasting about two and a half years. I actually think that timeline is pretty accurate - that is the time when basically your other half "does no wrong" and the relationship is easy. I try to tell people this all the time because I've actually experience it. I was with my ex for 12 years, and about half of those years I liked him, and then things changed. People change. Situations change. You don't know how things will be. I think people should date someone 3-5 years before moving in together. And after that, they should date at least another 3 years before they decide if they want to get married. Marriage is no joke people, and everyone needs to stop taking it so lightly. A divorce and a break up are two very different things.
Gary also talks about the love languages in this chapter. Apparently he created them? Well, I do think the love languages is an interesting thing, however I think simply having 5 is probably not very accurate, but it is a good place to start to help partners understand one another and understand how to show one another love.
Chapter 3: I wish I had known that the saying 'Like mother, like daughter' and 'Like father, like son' is not a myth
I both agree and disagree with this chapter. I believe Gary is on to something - we do pick up a lot of things from our parents, it's true, but I don't believe it's so gendered. I think daughters can pick things up from their fathers and sons can pick things up from their mothers as well. And it isn't always 100% true - just because a mother reacts a certain way to something does not mean that her daughter will do it too all of the time. People are individuals (which he says in the next chapter), so yes, while there is definite influence, it does not always mean it is 100% so (even though he says it right in the beginning of the chapter he isn't suggesting they will turn out exactly like their parent, the rest of the chapter is written as if it is very likely they'll behave in similar ways in most cases)
Chapter 4: I wish I had known how to solve disagreements without arguing
This is a decent chapter that I can get behind. I'm sure the thought of people just shutting up for 10 seconds and listening to what someone else has to say is mind boggling. Gary is right, though he was far too kind in writing this chapter. Had it been me, I would have been more up front and honest about it "Listen, what you think and feel isn't the ONLY way. Stop being a selfish ass and think about someone else for once in your life!" Lol - maybe people wouldn't respond well to that, but it's true. Human beings are selfish naturally. We're hard wired to think of our needs first. And that's fine - just admit to your selfishness, but don't be a god damn ass all the time. I, for one, know that I can be incredibly selfish, but I try to make sure I'm being mindful of it and in situations where I don't have to be, I work on not being. It's not that difficult, but boy do other human beings make it seem like if they did that, they might die right on the spot.
Your way is not the only way, and if you think it's going to be that way in your relationship, you can kiss that relationship goodbye
Chapter 5: I wish I had known that apologizing is a sign of strength
Hmmm... so now there are also 5 primary apology languages? Yes, I agree whole heartedly people need to apologize and mean it... but I don't buy this apology language business. I don't think people have one set apology language - I think each situation requires it's own acceptable apology. For example, if someone cancels plans on me the last minute, the type of apology I'd like is a "making restitution" apology... but if someone loses their temper and starts screaming at me and calling me names, a "making restitution" apology is not going to cut it. At all. That would be a "genuinely expressing the desire to change a behavior" apology. Apologies are situational, there is no one set way one person wants someone to apologize all the time. Otherwise then that apology can seem meaningless.
Ah, but alas... despite my feelings on that, APOLOGIZE PEOPLE!! Apologies make you a better person.
Chapter 6: I wish I had known that forgiveness is not a feeling
Well... I knew good ol' Gary must be religious, then last chapter (I think) he talked about seminary... but boy and boy was this chapter full of God talk. I could have done without that.
Forgiveness is something that is easier said than done. I found this chapter to be useless. People need to know HOW to forgive, because saying the words "I forgive you" is not how you forgive. It requires processing your feelings and emotions. Gary didn't much mention anything on how to forgive. The chapter was called forgiveness is not a feeling. I was expecting him to talk about how to forgive properly, or give tips to how to do it... and all he did was talk about how important it is to forgive and that forgiveness does not mean everything is better (which is absolutely 100% true). Well, I guess that means the chapter wasn't entirely useless. It is important for people to realize that forgiveness won't make the pain go away and won't automatically fix things. That is good to keep in mind.
Chapter 7: I wish I had known that toilets are not self-cleaning
I pretty much agree with this entire chapter, except for the fact that Gary is making the assumption that all people grow up in a two parent household. I wish he would have addressed single parent families a bit in it, because I know my views are a whole lot different from someone who had a mom and a dad (I had a mom that did both parent roles, from cooking and cleaning to fixing cars and building toys). But it is true, if you don't sit down and talk about who does what, it will definitely lead to trouble and A LOT of resentment.
Chapter 8: I wish I had known that we needed a plan for handling our money
I was onboard for most of this chapter except for the our money BS Gary pulled out. In my opinion, if you work hard and you make your money, that's YOUR money, whether you're married or not. If you and your partner decide you want to put it in a mutual fund where you both spend it, that's fine, but if you decide you want to have separate accounts to, I don't think there is anything wrong with that and it isn't a sign that you aren't ready for marriage. Your money is your money, no matter what Gary says in this book. No one can make you share it with anyone. That is up to you and your partner to decide.
The rest of the chapter is spot on - you do need to make sure you're on the same page with finances and how the money is spent, because trust and believe from personal experience, it's not pretty when you aren't in agreement on it. And there is no "my way or the highway" with money situations, there HAS to be a mutual agreement meeting in the middle.
Chapter 9: I wish I had known that mutual sexual fulfillment is not automatic
Parts of this chapter held some truths while others felt a little too preachy for me.
I do agree with Gary in that women and men can sometimes see sex different, but it isn't always the case. The general statements he makes about sexes in this book do tend to tick me off. Sometimes sex isn't all about love and connection for women, and sometimes sex isn't all about physical pleasure to men. Often, these two roles can be swapped, and there is nothing wrong with that. Yes, there are some women who really dig that intimate connection of sex (me!), but there are also men who really thrive on that. Yes, there are men who just want to get it on and be done with it, but guess what, there are PLENTY of women out there who feel the same way.
I had a really hard time with the "sexual history" BS - Gary wasn't straight up preaching "Don't have sex until you're married" but he practically was. This is how I feel about it - if you are seriously THAT INSECURE about yourself and your relationship that you cannot get over your partner's sexual past, that is all on YOU and you need to figure your shit out. I can say I've never honestly once thought "Gee, I wonder how many people this person has had sex with in the past and how it was"... why do I give a crap about stuff that is over and done with? What I care about is what is happening right now between me and my partner. And if someone can't get over that... yikes... I'm sorry, that's just ridiculous.
No one needs to "save themselves" for marriage, Gary should be telling people to get over themselves and stop worrying about things that have already happened and cannot be changed. The only time someone needs to worry so much over their partner's sexual past is if that partner can't seem to stop talking about a past lover. THEN it's an issue (well, that and OBVIOUSLY disclosing any STIs immediately!) But other than that, you're just making it an issue by having it affect you so much. (sorry for the harshness, but I just found this part of the book to be EXTREMELY irritating because this mindset is putting blame on someone for having a sexual past instead of putting the blame on the person who has the issue with it and that's not fair)
Chapter 10: I wish I had known that I was marrying into a family
Yup. This one is decent. Good to hash this stuff out before marriage
Chapter 11: I wish I had known that spirituality is not to be equated with "going to church"
Yup. Also another one that's good to hash out before getting married.
Chapter 12: I wish I had known that personality profoundly influences behavior
I mean, this one here seems like extremely common sense to me, but I guess Gary does have a point - when people have the "tingles" and are in love in the first few years, we often over look these things and ignore things we might not like.
I think Gary hit it on the head for the most part in this chapter, talking about some of the personality differences and people's responses to them. This is often why I recommend people spend YEARS dating before deciding to get married, because all of these things will eventually show face, and sometimes they change - sometimes things change for the better, and sometimes they change for the worst. You need to know if you're prepared to deal with that before you're already married. And you can't know that only by dating someone one or two years before you decide to get married. Plain and simple.
Appendix: Developing a healthy dating relationship
Gary was doing okay in this appendix until he brought up sexual behavior again and pissed me off all over again. Dear people who enjoy having sex and engage in things like one night stands - NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU!! Okay, well, that might not be entirely true. Some people might be suffering some sort of psychological, emotional, or physical something or other when they indulge in this behavior, but for those of you who are sexually fluent (as I like to call it), who enjoy having sex simply because your body likes it (and you aren't sexually addicted), there is nothing wrong with you. Gary likes to talk about these people as if they have a problem. Yes, I'm not dismissing that fact that SOME people do have a sexual problem, but we need to stop generalizing it for everyone. For some people, yes sex is intimate and emotional, for some people, its entirely physical. And those people aren't bad people.
Okay, off my soap box now for an overall review of the book. I had mixed feelings. I don't need to dive too far into them since I shared my thoughts as I read. I think Gary made a lot of good points, I also think he made a lot of generalizations that made some parts of this book seem unfair. Do I think the majority of what he brought up is something people need to think about and discuss before getting married, yes absolutely! People need to stop thinking that just because you're in love with someone means you should marry them. Feelings change, things change, and if you aren't willing to be open and understanding, then that relationship will never work for you. People need to stop taking marriage so lightly and thinking marriage equals success in life and focus on the relationship with the person they want to marry to figure out if they really want to marry them, or they just want to be married. Wanting to "be married" is also a horrible reason to get married.
As mentioned in the beginning, I have zero plans to ever get married no matter how many annoying people tell me "you're young, you'll change your mind." I have known for almost a decade I don't want to get married and don't want to have children. I doubt my mind will change, and also my choice to not get married or spawn has nothing to do with anyone else and doesn't affect them so they don't need to worry about it. But I do think people who want to get married need to seriously exam themselves, their partner, and their relationship to see if they ARE willing to deal with the hard parts and are they willing to compromise. Marriage is not a fairy tale, it WILL NOT just magically work out. And the divorce rate in this country is definitely showing that people don't want to put effort into those relationships because they didn't bother to seriously think about it beforehand and they didn't bother to not be selfish brats in the marriage, open their ears and hearts, listen, and compromise.
Human beings need to get their shit together when it comes to relationships. Hopefully this book can help some people figure that out and give them steps and tips to making it work.
So, to fully offer my thoughts on it, I figured I'd have a running review going while I read it and share my thoughts for each chapter :-p So here goes:
Intro:
I appreciate that Gary himself has had a lot of hardship in his marriage, so at least he can speak from experience. However, I did not appreciate his statement "One conclusion is inevitable. Marriage, between a man and a woman, is the foundation of all human societies." Sorry Gary, there are other kinds of marriages other than a man and a woman (and they are equally as important). If you believe homosexuality is wrong, Gary, well, that's your jam, but when writing a book for others to read and learn from, you should keep your own beliefs and opinions out of it and stick to your facts (or in this case, the things you've learned and used to help others have a more successful marriage).
Chapter 1: I wish I had known that being in love is not an adequate foundation for building a successful marriage
This seems like the most common sense piece of knowledge EVER but unfortunately, it seems like our human race has gotten dumber as time goes on, and people seriously think this is a good reason to get married. Apparently people forget how easily they've "fallen in love" with every single ex they've ever had. It's just part of being in a relationship in the first couple years. You're always going to feel that when you start seeing someone new. That doesn't mean marriage should be the next step.
Chapter 2: I wish I had known that romantic love has two stages
This chapter really ties in with the last chapter and I fully support the idea of two stages of love. I can't remember if it was this chapter or the last where Gary talks about the first stage of love lasting about two and a half years. I actually think that timeline is pretty accurate - that is the time when basically your other half "does no wrong" and the relationship is easy. I try to tell people this all the time because I've actually experience it. I was with my ex for 12 years, and about half of those years I liked him, and then things changed. People change. Situations change. You don't know how things will be. I think people should date someone 3-5 years before moving in together. And after that, they should date at least another 3 years before they decide if they want to get married. Marriage is no joke people, and everyone needs to stop taking it so lightly. A divorce and a break up are two very different things.
Gary also talks about the love languages in this chapter. Apparently he created them? Well, I do think the love languages is an interesting thing, however I think simply having 5 is probably not very accurate, but it is a good place to start to help partners understand one another and understand how to show one another love.
Chapter 3: I wish I had known that the saying 'Like mother, like daughter' and 'Like father, like son' is not a myth
I both agree and disagree with this chapter. I believe Gary is on to something - we do pick up a lot of things from our parents, it's true, but I don't believe it's so gendered. I think daughters can pick things up from their fathers and sons can pick things up from their mothers as well. And it isn't always 100% true - just because a mother reacts a certain way to something does not mean that her daughter will do it too all of the time. People are individuals (which he says in the next chapter), so yes, while there is definite influence, it does not always mean it is 100% so (even though he says it right in the beginning of the chapter he isn't suggesting they will turn out exactly like their parent, the rest of the chapter is written as if it is very likely they'll behave in similar ways in most cases)
Chapter 4: I wish I had known how to solve disagreements without arguing
This is a decent chapter that I can get behind. I'm sure the thought of people just shutting up for 10 seconds and listening to what someone else has to say is mind boggling. Gary is right, though he was far too kind in writing this chapter. Had it been me, I would have been more up front and honest about it "Listen, what you think and feel isn't the ONLY way. Stop being a selfish ass and think about someone else for once in your life!" Lol - maybe people wouldn't respond well to that, but it's true. Human beings are selfish naturally. We're hard wired to think of our needs first. And that's fine - just admit to your selfishness, but don't be a god damn ass all the time. I, for one, know that I can be incredibly selfish, but I try to make sure I'm being mindful of it and in situations where I don't have to be, I work on not being. It's not that difficult, but boy do other human beings make it seem like if they did that, they might die right on the spot.
Your way is not the only way, and if you think it's going to be that way in your relationship, you can kiss that relationship goodbye
Chapter 5: I wish I had known that apologizing is a sign of strength
Hmmm... so now there are also 5 primary apology languages? Yes, I agree whole heartedly people need to apologize and mean it... but I don't buy this apology language business. I don't think people have one set apology language - I think each situation requires it's own acceptable apology. For example, if someone cancels plans on me the last minute, the type of apology I'd like is a "making restitution" apology... but if someone loses their temper and starts screaming at me and calling me names, a "making restitution" apology is not going to cut it. At all. That would be a "genuinely expressing the desire to change a behavior" apology. Apologies are situational, there is no one set way one person wants someone to apologize all the time. Otherwise then that apology can seem meaningless.
Ah, but alas... despite my feelings on that, APOLOGIZE PEOPLE!! Apologies make you a better person.
Chapter 6: I wish I had known that forgiveness is not a feeling
Well... I knew good ol' Gary must be religious, then last chapter (I think) he talked about seminary... but boy and boy was this chapter full of God talk. I could have done without that.
Forgiveness is something that is easier said than done. I found this chapter to be useless. People need to know HOW to forgive, because saying the words "I forgive you" is not how you forgive. It requires processing your feelings and emotions. Gary didn't much mention anything on how to forgive. The chapter was called forgiveness is not a feeling. I was expecting him to talk about how to forgive properly, or give tips to how to do it... and all he did was talk about how important it is to forgive and that forgiveness does not mean everything is better (which is absolutely 100% true). Well, I guess that means the chapter wasn't entirely useless. It is important for people to realize that forgiveness won't make the pain go away and won't automatically fix things. That is good to keep in mind.
Chapter 7: I wish I had known that toilets are not self-cleaning
I pretty much agree with this entire chapter, except for the fact that Gary is making the assumption that all people grow up in a two parent household. I wish he would have addressed single parent families a bit in it, because I know my views are a whole lot different from someone who had a mom and a dad (I had a mom that did both parent roles, from cooking and cleaning to fixing cars and building toys). But it is true, if you don't sit down and talk about who does what, it will definitely lead to trouble and A LOT of resentment.
Chapter 8: I wish I had known that we needed a plan for handling our money
I was onboard for most of this chapter except for the our money BS Gary pulled out. In my opinion, if you work hard and you make your money, that's YOUR money, whether you're married or not. If you and your partner decide you want to put it in a mutual fund where you both spend it, that's fine, but if you decide you want to have separate accounts to, I don't think there is anything wrong with that and it isn't a sign that you aren't ready for marriage. Your money is your money, no matter what Gary says in this book. No one can make you share it with anyone. That is up to you and your partner to decide.
The rest of the chapter is spot on - you do need to make sure you're on the same page with finances and how the money is spent, because trust and believe from personal experience, it's not pretty when you aren't in agreement on it. And there is no "my way or the highway" with money situations, there HAS to be a mutual agreement meeting in the middle.
Chapter 9: I wish I had known that mutual sexual fulfillment is not automatic
Parts of this chapter held some truths while others felt a little too preachy for me.
I do agree with Gary in that women and men can sometimes see sex different, but it isn't always the case. The general statements he makes about sexes in this book do tend to tick me off. Sometimes sex isn't all about love and connection for women, and sometimes sex isn't all about physical pleasure to men. Often, these two roles can be swapped, and there is nothing wrong with that. Yes, there are some women who really dig that intimate connection of sex (me!), but there are also men who really thrive on that. Yes, there are men who just want to get it on and be done with it, but guess what, there are PLENTY of women out there who feel the same way.
I had a really hard time with the "sexual history" BS - Gary wasn't straight up preaching "Don't have sex until you're married" but he practically was. This is how I feel about it - if you are seriously THAT INSECURE about yourself and your relationship that you cannot get over your partner's sexual past, that is all on YOU and you need to figure your shit out. I can say I've never honestly once thought "Gee, I wonder how many people this person has had sex with in the past and how it was"... why do I give a crap about stuff that is over and done with? What I care about is what is happening right now between me and my partner. And if someone can't get over that... yikes... I'm sorry, that's just ridiculous.
No one needs to "save themselves" for marriage, Gary should be telling people to get over themselves and stop worrying about things that have already happened and cannot be changed. The only time someone needs to worry so much over their partner's sexual past is if that partner can't seem to stop talking about a past lover. THEN it's an issue (well, that and OBVIOUSLY disclosing any STIs immediately!) But other than that, you're just making it an issue by having it affect you so much. (sorry for the harshness, but I just found this part of the book to be EXTREMELY irritating because this mindset is putting blame on someone for having a sexual past instead of putting the blame on the person who has the issue with it and that's not fair)
Chapter 10: I wish I had known that I was marrying into a family
Yup. This one is decent. Good to hash this stuff out before marriage
Chapter 11: I wish I had known that spirituality is not to be equated with "going to church"
Yup. Also another one that's good to hash out before getting married.
Chapter 12: I wish I had known that personality profoundly influences behavior
I mean, this one here seems like extremely common sense to me, but I guess Gary does have a point - when people have the "tingles" and are in love in the first few years, we often over look these things and ignore things we might not like.
I think Gary hit it on the head for the most part in this chapter, talking about some of the personality differences and people's responses to them. This is often why I recommend people spend YEARS dating before deciding to get married, because all of these things will eventually show face, and sometimes they change - sometimes things change for the better, and sometimes they change for the worst. You need to know if you're prepared to deal with that before you're already married. And you can't know that only by dating someone one or two years before you decide to get married. Plain and simple.
Appendix: Developing a healthy dating relationship
Gary was doing okay in this appendix until he brought up sexual behavior again and pissed me off all over again. Dear people who enjoy having sex and engage in things like one night stands - NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU!! Okay, well, that might not be entirely true. Some people might be suffering some sort of psychological, emotional, or physical something or other when they indulge in this behavior, but for those of you who are sexually fluent (as I like to call it), who enjoy having sex simply because your body likes it (and you aren't sexually addicted), there is nothing wrong with you. Gary likes to talk about these people as if they have a problem. Yes, I'm not dismissing that fact that SOME people do have a sexual problem, but we need to stop generalizing it for everyone. For some people, yes sex is intimate and emotional, for some people, its entirely physical. And those people aren't bad people.
Okay, off my soap box now for an overall review of the book. I had mixed feelings. I don't need to dive too far into them since I shared my thoughts as I read. I think Gary made a lot of good points, I also think he made a lot of generalizations that made some parts of this book seem unfair. Do I think the majority of what he brought up is something people need to think about and discuss before getting married, yes absolutely! People need to stop thinking that just because you're in love with someone means you should marry them. Feelings change, things change, and if you aren't willing to be open and understanding, then that relationship will never work for you. People need to stop taking marriage so lightly and thinking marriage equals success in life and focus on the relationship with the person they want to marry to figure out if they really want to marry them, or they just want to be married. Wanting to "be married" is also a horrible reason to get married.
As mentioned in the beginning, I have zero plans to ever get married no matter how many annoying people tell me "you're young, you'll change your mind." I have known for almost a decade I don't want to get married and don't want to have children. I doubt my mind will change, and also my choice to not get married or spawn has nothing to do with anyone else and doesn't affect them so they don't need to worry about it. But I do think people who want to get married need to seriously exam themselves, their partner, and their relationship to see if they ARE willing to deal with the hard parts and are they willing to compromise. Marriage is not a fairy tale, it WILL NOT just magically work out. And the divorce rate in this country is definitely showing that people don't want to put effort into those relationships because they didn't bother to seriously think about it beforehand and they didn't bother to not be selfish brats in the marriage, open their ears and hearts, listen, and compromise.
Human beings need to get their shit together when it comes to relationships. Hopefully this book can help some people figure that out and give them steps and tips to making it work.
July 31, 2023
賰鬲丕亘 毓賲賱賷 賵賯賷賲 噩丿丕 丕賳氐丨 亘賴 賵亘卮丿丞 賱賰 賲賳 賷賳賵賷 丕賱夭賵丕噩 兀賵 丕賱賲賯亘賱賷賳 毓賱賷賴 兀賵 丨鬲賶 丕賱匕賷賳 賱賲 賷鬲夭賵噩賵丕 亘毓丿
賰賲丕 賴賵 賵丕囟丨 賲賳 毓賳賵丕賳賴 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賷毓亘乇 毓賳 兀賳賴 賰丕賳 賷鬲賲賳賶 賱賵 賷毓賱賲 賴匕賴 丕賱賯賵丕毓丿 丕賱毓丕賲丞 賮賷 丕賱丨賷丕丞 丕賱夭賵噩賷丞 賯亘賱 夭賵丕噩賴 賱賰丕賳 鬲賮丕丿賶 賰孬賷乇 賲賳 氐乇毓丕鬲賴 賵丕禺鬲氐乇 毓賱賷賴 丕賱賵賯鬲 賮賷 丨賱 丕賱賲卮賰賱丕鬲 賵賰鬲亘 賴匕賴 丕賱賯賵丕毓丿 亘毓丿 禺亘乇鬲賴 賵毓賲賱賴 賰賲爻鬲卮丕乇 賱丌賱丕賮 丕賱丨丕賱丕鬲
丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賷賯毓 賮賷 丨賵丕賱賷 佟佶贍 氐賮丨丞 賵賷丨鬲賵賷 毓賱賶 丕孬賳丕 毓卮乇 賮氐賱 賵賷丨賵賷 賰賱 賳賴丕賷丞 賮氐賱 毓賱賶 兀爻卅賱丞 賱賰賷 賷鬲賲 丕賱廿噩丕亘丞 毓賱賷賴丕 賵賲賳丕賯卮鬲賴丕 賲賳 禺賱丕賱 丕賱卮乇賷賰賷賳 :
丕賱賮氐賱 丕賱兀賵賱: 鬲丨丿孬 賮賷賴 兀賳 丕賱丨亘 賱賷爻 賰丕賮賷丕 賱丕賳 賷賰賵賳 丕賱夭賵丕噩 賳丕噩丨 賮丕賱丨亘 賵丕賱乇賵賲丕賳爻賷丞 賮賷 亘丿丕賷丞 丕賱毓賱丕賯丞 賷鬲賱丕卮賶 賲毓 丕賱賵賯鬲 賵賷夭賵賱 孬賲 鬲鬲噩賱賶 賮賷 丕賱兀賮賯 丕賱賲卮丕賰賱 賵丕賱氐乇丕毓丕鬲 賱兀賳賴賲 亘亘爻丕胤丞 賱賳 賷賰鬲卮賮賵賳 亘毓囟賴賲 丕賱亘毓囟 亘卮賰賱 賰丕賮賷 .
賵賯丿 胤乇丨 爻丐丕賱 "賱賲丕匕丕 鬲乇賷丿丕賳 兀賳 鬲鬲夭賵噩丕責" 毓賱賶 丕賱賲禺胤賵亘賷賷賳 丕賱匕賷 賷兀鬲賵賴 賮賰丕賳鬲 廿噩丕亘丞 丕賱兀睾賱亘賷丞 賴賷 " 賱兀賳賳丕 賳丨亘 亘毓囟賳丕 丕賱亘毓囟 "
廿賳 丕賱丨亘 賵丕賱乇丨賲丞 賱賷爻鬲 兀爻丕爻 丕賱夭賵丕噩 丕賱賳丕噩丨 . 廿賳賲丕 賴賷 亘賲孬丕亘丞 丨亘丕鬲 丕賱賰乇夭 丕賱鬲賷 鬲賵囟毓 賮賵賯 賰丕爻 丕賱噩賷賱丕鬲賷 . 賱賰賳 賱丕 賷賲賰賳 兀賳 賷賰賵賳 賰兀爻 丕賱噩賷賱丕鬲賷 毓亘丕乇丞 毓賳 丨亘丕鬲 賰乇夭 賮賯胤 . 賱丕亘丿 兀賳 賳囟毓 賮賷 丕毓鬲亘丕乇賳丕 丕賱毓賵丕賲賱 丕賱兀禺乇賶 .
賵丕乇丿賮 賯丕卅賱丕 賮賷 丕賱賮氐賱 丕賱孬丕賳賷 亘兀賳 丕賱丨亘 賷丨鬲賵賷 毓賱賶 賲乇丨賱鬲賷賳
丕賱賲乇丨锟斤拷丞 丕賱兀賵賱賶 賲賳 毓賱丕賯丞 賮賷 賴匕賴 丕賱賲乇丨賱丞 賲賳 丕賱丨亘 賵丕賱乇賲丕賳爻賷 賱丕 賷丨鬲丕噩 丕賱胤乇賯丕鬲 兀賳 賷亘匕賱丕 兀賷 噩賴丿 賱廿賳噩丕丨 丕賱毓賱丕賯丞 賮賴賲丕 毓賱賶 丕爻鬲毓丿丕丿 兀賳 賷亘匕賱 丕賱賰孬賷乇 賲賳 丕賱噩賴丿 賱毓賲賱 丕卮賷丕亍 丕賱賵丕丨丿 賲賳 丕噩賱 丕賱丕禺乇 賲毓鬲賲乇賷賳 丕賳 賲孬賱 賴匕丕 丕賱噩賴丿 賱賷爻 賲氐丿乇 丕賱毓賳丕亍 亘賱 賱賱匕丞 賵丕賱賮乇丨. 丕賱丕 丕賳 賲鬲賵爻胤 毓賲乇 賴匕賴 丕賱賲乇丨賱賴 丨賵丕賱賷 爻賳鬲賷賳.
丕賲丕 丕賱賲乇丨賱丞 丕賱孬丕賳賷丞 賲賳 丕賱丨亘 丕賱乇賵賲丕賳爻賷 丕賰孬乇 毓賯賱丕賳賷賴 賲賳 丕賱賲乇丨賱賴 丕賱丕賵賱賶 賳毓賲 丕賳賴丕 鬲丨鬲丕噩 賱噩賴丿 賱鬲爻鬲賲乇 噩匕賵賴 丕賱丨亘 賲鬲賯丿賴 丕賲丕 丕賱匕賷賳 賷亘匕賱賵賳 丕賱噩賴丿 丕賱丕賳鬲賯丕賱 賲賳 丕賱賲乇丨賱賴 丕賱丕賵賱賶 賱賱賲乇丨賱丞 丕賱孬丕賳賷丞 賮丕賳賴賲 賷丨氐丿賵賳 賳鬲丕卅噩 賲匕賴賱丞.
賵賴賳丕 兀卮丕乇 廿賱賶 賱睾丕鬲 丕賱丨亘 丕賱禺賲爻 :
佟- 賰賱賲丕鬲 丕賱鬲賯丿賷乇 .
佗-鬲賯丿賷賲 丕賱禺丿賲丕鬲
伲-鬲賯丿賷賲 丕賱賴丿丕賷丕
伽-賵賯鬲 賯賷賽賾賲
佶-丕賱鬲賱丕賲爻 丕賱噩爻丿賷
賵賮賷 丕賱賮氐賱 丕賱孬丕賱孬 : 賰賱丕 丕賱夭賵噩賷賳 賷鬲兀孬乇丕賳 亘賵丕賱丿賷賴賲丕 賮丕賱丕亘賳丞 鬲鬲兀孬乇 亘兀賲賴丕 賵丕賱丕亘賳 賷鬲兀孬乇 亘兀亘賷賴 賵賯丿 賷氐亘丨賵賳 賳爻禺賴 賲賳賴賲 丨鬲賶 賮賷 丕賱氐賮丕鬲 丕賱爻賱亘賷丞 廿賱丕 廿匕丕 鬲毓賱賲賵丕 賰賷賮 賷鬲禺賱氐賵賳 賲賳賴丕 賮賰賱 賵丕丨丿 賲鬲賵賯毓 賲賳 丕賱丕禺乇 兀賳 賷賯賵賲 亘丕賱兀毓賲丕賱 丕賱匕賷 賷乇賶 亘賴 賵丕賱丿賷賴 賮夭賵噩 賲孬賱丕 賷乇賶 兀賲賴 賴賷 丕賱鬲賷 鬲鬲胤亘禺 賵鬲睾爻賱 賵鬲賳馗賮 賮賲鬲賵賯毓 丕賳 夭賵噩鬲賴 爻鬲賰賵賳 賰匕賱賰 賵丕賱毓賰爻 賰匕賱賰 賲賳 賳丕丨賷丞 丕賱夭賵噩丞 .
丕賱賮氐賱 丕賱乇丕亘毓 : 賰賳鬲 兀賵丿 兀賳 兀毓乇賮 賰賷賮 兀丨賱 丕賱禺賱丕賮丕鬲 丿賵賳 噩丿丕賱
賵賯丕賱 賮賷 賴匕丕 丕賱賮氐賱 亘兀賳 賱賰賱 爻賲丕鬲賴 丕賱禺丕氐丞 亘賴 賮賯丿 賷乇賶 兀丨丿 丕賱胤乇賮賷賳 亘兀賳 丕賱鬲賱賮丕夭 賲囟賷毓丞 賱賱賵賯鬲 亘賷賳賲丕 賷乇賶 丕賱丌禺乇 亘兀賳賴 賲爻賱賷 賵賵賯鬲 賱賱兀爻鬲乇禺丕亍 賵賯丕賱 丕賱丨賱 賮賷 賲孬賱 賴匕賴 丕賱賳夭毓丕鬲 賴賵 丕賱賮賰乇賴 丕賱丕賵賱賶 丕賱鬲賷 賷噩亘 丕賳 賳亘丿丕 亘賴丕 賴賷 丕賳 賳鬲賯亘賱 丕賱賵丕賯毓 賵賴賵 丕賳 賴賵 爻賵賮 賷賰賵賳 賴賳丕賱賰 氐乇丕毓丕鬲 賵丕賱氐乇丕毓丕鬲 賱賷爻鬲 毓賱丕賲丞 毓賱賶 兀賳 兀爻兀鬲 丕禺鬲賷丕乇 卮乇賷賰 丕賱丨賷丕丞 丕賳賴丕 鬲丐賰丿 毓賱賶 兀賳賳丕 亘卮乇 . 亘賲噩乇丿 丕賳 賳鬲賯亘賱 丨賯賷賯賴 賵噩賵丿 氐乇丕毓丕鬲 賳丨鬲丕噩 丕賳 賳禺胤胤 賱賱鬲毓丕賲賱 賲毓 賴匕賴 丕賱禺胤賴 鬲亘丿丕 亘丕丿乇丕賰 丕賳賰 鬲丨鬲丕噩 丕賱賶 丕賳 鬲氐睾賶 賱賱丕禺乇. 丕賱賲賳胤賯賴 丕賱丨乇賷賴 賮賷 丕賱鬲賮賰賷乇 賵丕賱鬲毓亘賷乇 毓賳 丕賮賰丕乇賴 賵丕丨鬲乇丕賲 丕賱賲賳胤丕賯 丕賱匕賷 丕丿賶 丕賱賶 賴匕丕 丕賱賯賳丕毓賴 賵賮賷 賴匕丕 鬲毓亘賷乇 毓賳 賮賴賲 賵鬲賯丿賷乇 乇丕賷 丕賱丕禺乇 賵丕丨鬲乇丕賲 賲賳胤賯賴 賵賴匕丕 賷禺賱賯 噩賵丕 賲賳 丕賱丕賱賮賴 亘毓賷丿丕 鬲賲丕賲丕 毓賳 噩賵 丕賱毓丿丕亍. 丕賱賰賱賲丞 丕賱賲丨賵乇賷丞 賮賷 廿賷噩丕丿 丨賱 丕賱禺賱丕賮 丕賱賯丕卅賲 賴賷 " 丕賱鬲乇丕囟賷"
兀賵 賷賰賵賳 亘丕賱鬲賯丕亘賱 賮賷 丕賱賲賳鬲氐賮 兀賵 亘丕賱胤乇賷賯丞 丕賱孬丕賳賷丞 賵賴賷 賲丕賷賲賰賳 兀賳 兀胤賱賯 毓賱賷賴 丕賱鬲賯賱賷賱 賮賷 噩丕賳亘 丕賱丌禺乇 亘賲毓賳賶 賷賯乇乇 丕賱賵丕丨丿 兀賳賴 賲賳 丕賱兀賮囟賱 賷鬲亘毓 乇兀賷 丕賱丌禺乇.
賵賯丿 賷賰賵賳 丕賱廿鬲賮丕賯 賮賵賯鬲 賱丕丨賯 .
丕賱賮氐賱 丕賱禺丕賲爻 : 賷鬲丨丿孬 賮賷 賴匕賴 丕賱賮氐賱 毓賳 丕賱丕毓鬲匕丕乇 賵胤乇賯賴 廿賷氐丕賱 丕賱丕毓鬲匕丕乇 賮賱賰 卮禺氐 胤乇賷賯丞 賵兀毓乇亘 丕賱賰丕鬲亘 亘兀賳賴 賱賲 賷鬲毓賱賲 丕賱丕毓鬲匕丕乇 廿賱丕 亘毓丿 夭賵丕噩賴
賵賱睾丕鬲 丕賱丕毓鬲匕丕乇 丕賱禺賲爻 :
佟-毓亘乇 毓賳 賳丿賲賰
佗-賯亘賵賱 丕賱賲爻丐賵賱賷丞
伲-丕賱鬲毓賵賷囟
伽-丕賱鬲毓亘賷乇 毓賳 乇睾亘鬲賰 丕賱氐丕丿賯丞 賱鬲睾賷賷乇 爻賱賵賰賰
佶-胤賱亘 丕賱睾賮乇丕賳
賰賲丕 賴賵 賵丕囟丨 賲賳 毓賳賵丕賳賴 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賷毓亘乇 毓賳 兀賳賴 賰丕賳 賷鬲賲賳賶 賱賵 賷毓賱賲 賴匕賴 丕賱賯賵丕毓丿 丕賱毓丕賲丞 賮賷 丕賱丨賷丕丞 丕賱夭賵噩賷丞 賯亘賱 夭賵丕噩賴 賱賰丕賳 鬲賮丕丿賶 賰孬賷乇 賲賳 氐乇毓丕鬲賴 賵丕禺鬲氐乇 毓賱賷賴 丕賱賵賯鬲 賮賷 丨賱 丕賱賲卮賰賱丕鬲 賵賰鬲亘 賴匕賴 丕賱賯賵丕毓丿 亘毓丿 禺亘乇鬲賴 賵毓賲賱賴 賰賲爻鬲卮丕乇 賱丌賱丕賮 丕賱丨丕賱丕鬲
丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賷賯毓 賮賷 丨賵丕賱賷 佟佶贍 氐賮丨丞 賵賷丨鬲賵賷 毓賱賶 丕孬賳丕 毓卮乇 賮氐賱 賵賷丨賵賷 賰賱 賳賴丕賷丞 賮氐賱 毓賱賶 兀爻卅賱丞 賱賰賷 賷鬲賲 丕賱廿噩丕亘丞 毓賱賷賴丕 賵賲賳丕賯卮鬲賴丕 賲賳 禺賱丕賱 丕賱卮乇賷賰賷賳 :
丕賱賮氐賱 丕賱兀賵賱: 鬲丨丿孬 賮賷賴 兀賳 丕賱丨亘 賱賷爻 賰丕賮賷丕 賱丕賳 賷賰賵賳 丕賱夭賵丕噩 賳丕噩丨 賮丕賱丨亘 賵丕賱乇賵賲丕賳爻賷丞 賮賷 亘丿丕賷丞 丕賱毓賱丕賯丞 賷鬲賱丕卮賶 賲毓 丕賱賵賯鬲 賵賷夭賵賱 孬賲 鬲鬲噩賱賶 賮賷 丕賱兀賮賯 丕賱賲卮丕賰賱 賵丕賱氐乇丕毓丕鬲 賱兀賳賴賲 亘亘爻丕胤丞 賱賳 賷賰鬲卮賮賵賳 亘毓囟賴賲 丕賱亘毓囟 亘卮賰賱 賰丕賮賷 .
賵賯丿 胤乇丨 爻丐丕賱 "賱賲丕匕丕 鬲乇賷丿丕賳 兀賳 鬲鬲夭賵噩丕責" 毓賱賶 丕賱賲禺胤賵亘賷賷賳 丕賱匕賷 賷兀鬲賵賴 賮賰丕賳鬲 廿噩丕亘丞 丕賱兀睾賱亘賷丞 賴賷 " 賱兀賳賳丕 賳丨亘 亘毓囟賳丕 丕賱亘毓囟 "
廿賳 丕賱丨亘 賵丕賱乇丨賲丞 賱賷爻鬲 兀爻丕爻 丕賱夭賵丕噩 丕賱賳丕噩丨 . 廿賳賲丕 賴賷 亘賲孬丕亘丞 丨亘丕鬲 丕賱賰乇夭 丕賱鬲賷 鬲賵囟毓 賮賵賯 賰丕爻 丕賱噩賷賱丕鬲賷 . 賱賰賳 賱丕 賷賲賰賳 兀賳 賷賰賵賳 賰兀爻 丕賱噩賷賱丕鬲賷 毓亘丕乇丞 毓賳 丨亘丕鬲 賰乇夭 賮賯胤 . 賱丕亘丿 兀賳 賳囟毓 賮賷 丕毓鬲亘丕乇賳丕 丕賱毓賵丕賲賱 丕賱兀禺乇賶 .
賵丕乇丿賮 賯丕卅賱丕 賮賷 丕賱賮氐賱 丕賱孬丕賳賷 亘兀賳 丕賱丨亘 賷丨鬲賵賷 毓賱賶 賲乇丨賱鬲賷賳
丕賱賲乇丨锟斤拷丞 丕賱兀賵賱賶 賲賳 毓賱丕賯丞 賮賷 賴匕賴 丕賱賲乇丨賱丞 賲賳 丕賱丨亘 賵丕賱乇賲丕賳爻賷 賱丕 賷丨鬲丕噩 丕賱胤乇賯丕鬲 兀賳 賷亘匕賱丕 兀賷 噩賴丿 賱廿賳噩丕丨 丕賱毓賱丕賯丞 賮賴賲丕 毓賱賶 丕爻鬲毓丿丕丿 兀賳 賷亘匕賱 丕賱賰孬賷乇 賲賳 丕賱噩賴丿 賱毓賲賱 丕卮賷丕亍 丕賱賵丕丨丿 賲賳 丕噩賱 丕賱丕禺乇 賲毓鬲賲乇賷賳 丕賳 賲孬賱 賴匕丕 丕賱噩賴丿 賱賷爻 賲氐丿乇 丕賱毓賳丕亍 亘賱 賱賱匕丞 賵丕賱賮乇丨. 丕賱丕 丕賳 賲鬲賵爻胤 毓賲乇 賴匕賴 丕賱賲乇丨賱賴 丨賵丕賱賷 爻賳鬲賷賳.
丕賲丕 丕賱賲乇丨賱丞 丕賱孬丕賳賷丞 賲賳 丕賱丨亘 丕賱乇賵賲丕賳爻賷 丕賰孬乇 毓賯賱丕賳賷賴 賲賳 丕賱賲乇丨賱賴 丕賱丕賵賱賶 賳毓賲 丕賳賴丕 鬲丨鬲丕噩 賱噩賴丿 賱鬲爻鬲賲乇 噩匕賵賴 丕賱丨亘 賲鬲賯丿賴 丕賲丕 丕賱匕賷賳 賷亘匕賱賵賳 丕賱噩賴丿 丕賱丕賳鬲賯丕賱 賲賳 丕賱賲乇丨賱賴 丕賱丕賵賱賶 賱賱賲乇丨賱丞 丕賱孬丕賳賷丞 賮丕賳賴賲 賷丨氐丿賵賳 賳鬲丕卅噩 賲匕賴賱丞.
賵賴賳丕 兀卮丕乇 廿賱賶 賱睾丕鬲 丕賱丨亘 丕賱禺賲爻 :
佟- 賰賱賲丕鬲 丕賱鬲賯丿賷乇 .
佗-鬲賯丿賷賲 丕賱禺丿賲丕鬲
伲-鬲賯丿賷賲 丕賱賴丿丕賷丕
伽-賵賯鬲 賯賷賽賾賲
佶-丕賱鬲賱丕賲爻 丕賱噩爻丿賷
賵賮賷 丕賱賮氐賱 丕賱孬丕賱孬 : 賰賱丕 丕賱夭賵噩賷賳 賷鬲兀孬乇丕賳 亘賵丕賱丿賷賴賲丕 賮丕賱丕亘賳丞 鬲鬲兀孬乇 亘兀賲賴丕 賵丕賱丕亘賳 賷鬲兀孬乇 亘兀亘賷賴 賵賯丿 賷氐亘丨賵賳 賳爻禺賴 賲賳賴賲 丨鬲賶 賮賷 丕賱氐賮丕鬲 丕賱爻賱亘賷丞 廿賱丕 廿匕丕 鬲毓賱賲賵丕 賰賷賮 賷鬲禺賱氐賵賳 賲賳賴丕 賮賰賱 賵丕丨丿 賲鬲賵賯毓 賲賳 丕賱丕禺乇 兀賳 賷賯賵賲 亘丕賱兀毓賲丕賱 丕賱匕賷 賷乇賶 亘賴 賵丕賱丿賷賴 賮夭賵噩 賲孬賱丕 賷乇賶 兀賲賴 賴賷 丕賱鬲賷 鬲鬲胤亘禺 賵鬲睾爻賱 賵鬲賳馗賮 賮賲鬲賵賯毓 丕賳 夭賵噩鬲賴 爻鬲賰賵賳 賰匕賱賰 賵丕賱毓賰爻 賰匕賱賰 賲賳 賳丕丨賷丞 丕賱夭賵噩丞 .
丕賱賮氐賱 丕賱乇丕亘毓 : 賰賳鬲 兀賵丿 兀賳 兀毓乇賮 賰賷賮 兀丨賱 丕賱禺賱丕賮丕鬲 丿賵賳 噩丿丕賱
賵賯丕賱 賮賷 賴匕丕 丕賱賮氐賱 亘兀賳 賱賰賱 爻賲丕鬲賴 丕賱禺丕氐丞 亘賴 賮賯丿 賷乇賶 兀丨丿 丕賱胤乇賮賷賳 亘兀賳 丕賱鬲賱賮丕夭 賲囟賷毓丞 賱賱賵賯鬲 亘賷賳賲丕 賷乇賶 丕賱丌禺乇 亘兀賳賴 賲爻賱賷 賵賵賯鬲 賱賱兀爻鬲乇禺丕亍 賵賯丕賱 丕賱丨賱 賮賷 賲孬賱 賴匕賴 丕賱賳夭毓丕鬲 賴賵 丕賱賮賰乇賴 丕賱丕賵賱賶 丕賱鬲賷 賷噩亘 丕賳 賳亘丿丕 亘賴丕 賴賷 丕賳 賳鬲賯亘賱 丕賱賵丕賯毓 賵賴賵 丕賳 賴賵 爻賵賮 賷賰賵賳 賴賳丕賱賰 氐乇丕毓丕鬲 賵丕賱氐乇丕毓丕鬲 賱賷爻鬲 毓賱丕賲丞 毓賱賶 兀賳 兀爻兀鬲 丕禺鬲賷丕乇 卮乇賷賰 丕賱丨賷丕丞 丕賳賴丕 鬲丐賰丿 毓賱賶 兀賳賳丕 亘卮乇 . 亘賲噩乇丿 丕賳 賳鬲賯亘賱 丨賯賷賯賴 賵噩賵丿 氐乇丕毓丕鬲 賳丨鬲丕噩 丕賳 賳禺胤胤 賱賱鬲毓丕賲賱 賲毓 賴匕賴 丕賱禺胤賴 鬲亘丿丕 亘丕丿乇丕賰 丕賳賰 鬲丨鬲丕噩 丕賱賶 丕賳 鬲氐睾賶 賱賱丕禺乇. 丕賱賲賳胤賯賴 丕賱丨乇賷賴 賮賷 丕賱鬲賮賰賷乇 賵丕賱鬲毓亘賷乇 毓賳 丕賮賰丕乇賴 賵丕丨鬲乇丕賲 丕賱賲賳胤丕賯 丕賱匕賷 丕丿賶 丕賱賶 賴匕丕 丕賱賯賳丕毓賴 賵賮賷 賴匕丕 鬲毓亘賷乇 毓賳 賮賴賲 賵鬲賯丿賷乇 乇丕賷 丕賱丕禺乇 賵丕丨鬲乇丕賲 賲賳胤賯賴 賵賴匕丕 賷禺賱賯 噩賵丕 賲賳 丕賱丕賱賮賴 亘毓賷丿丕 鬲賲丕賲丕 毓賳 噩賵 丕賱毓丿丕亍. 丕賱賰賱賲丞 丕賱賲丨賵乇賷丞 賮賷 廿賷噩丕丿 丨賱 丕賱禺賱丕賮 丕賱賯丕卅賲 賴賷 " 丕賱鬲乇丕囟賷"
兀賵 賷賰賵賳 亘丕賱鬲賯丕亘賱 賮賷 丕賱賲賳鬲氐賮 兀賵 亘丕賱胤乇賷賯丞 丕賱孬丕賳賷丞 賵賴賷 賲丕賷賲賰賳 兀賳 兀胤賱賯 毓賱賷賴 丕賱鬲賯賱賷賱 賮賷 噩丕賳亘 丕賱丌禺乇 亘賲毓賳賶 賷賯乇乇 丕賱賵丕丨丿 兀賳賴 賲賳 丕賱兀賮囟賱 賷鬲亘毓 乇兀賷 丕賱丌禺乇.
賵賯丿 賷賰賵賳 丕賱廿鬲賮丕賯 賮賵賯鬲 賱丕丨賯 .
丕賱賮氐賱 丕賱禺丕賲爻 : 賷鬲丨丿孬 賮賷 賴匕賴 丕賱賮氐賱 毓賳 丕賱丕毓鬲匕丕乇 賵胤乇賯賴 廿賷氐丕賱 丕賱丕毓鬲匕丕乇 賮賱賰 卮禺氐 胤乇賷賯丞 賵兀毓乇亘 丕賱賰丕鬲亘 亘兀賳賴 賱賲 賷鬲毓賱賲 丕賱丕毓鬲匕丕乇 廿賱丕 亘毓丿 夭賵丕噩賴
賵賱睾丕鬲 丕賱丕毓鬲匕丕乇 丕賱禺賲爻 :
佟-毓亘乇 毓賳 賳丿賲賰
佗-賯亘賵賱 丕賱賲爻丐賵賱賷丞
伲-丕賱鬲毓賵賷囟
伽-丕賱鬲毓亘賷乇 毓賳 乇睾亘鬲賰 丕賱氐丕丿賯丞 賱鬲睾賷賷乇 爻賱賵賰賰
佶-胤賱亘 丕賱睾賮乇丕賳
October 1, 2022
T峄� th岷 quy峄僴 n脿y kh谩 l脿 d峄� 膽峄峜 v脿 to脿n di峄噉 膽岷 岷�.
V脿 t峄� 膽峄搉g 媒 v峄沬 h岷 h岷縯 c谩c lu岷璶 膽i峄僲 膽瓢峄 膽峄� c岷璸 trong quy峄僴 s谩ch n脿y.
- T矛nh y锚u kh么ng 膽峄� l脿 n峄乶 t岷g v峄痭g ch岷痗 膽峄� x芒y d峄眓g m峄檛 cu峄檆 h么n nh芒n h岷h ph煤c.
- H么n nh芒n c岷 c贸 s峄� g岷 g农i v峄� tinh th岷. N岷縰 b岷 ngh末 c贸 th峄� b峄� qua 膽i峄乽 n脿y th矛 t峄� ngh末 c岷璾 n锚n ho茫n l岷 h么n s峄� cho 膽岷縩 khi th峄眂 s峄� tr瓢峄焠g th脿nh. C岷� hai ng瓢峄漣 c贸 膽峄ヽ tin kh么ng hay v么 th岷? V脿 n岷縰 b岷 tin theo Ch煤a th矛 v峄�/ch峄搉g b岷 c贸 峄g h峄� v脿 theo b岷 kh么ng? V脿 s岷� nh瓢 th岷� n脿o khi hai b岷 c贸 con?
- B岷 ngh末 th岷� n脿o v峄� qu谩 kh峄� c峄 v峄�/ch峄搉g b岷? Nh瓢ng d霉 sao th矛 hai b岷 ph岷 th脿nh th岷璽 v脿 chia s岷� tr瓢峄沜 khi ti岷縩 t峄沬 h么n nh芒n.
- V脿 膽i峄乽 quan tr峄峮g l脿 h茫y h峄峜 c谩ch tho岷� m茫n v峄� v岷 膽峄� 膽贸 v峄沬 partner c峄 m矛nh. STOP basing your expectations on movies/novels! :)
- 鈥�
V脿 sau t岷 c岷� th矛 t峄� ngh末 膽峄檆 th芒n v岷玭 l脿 l峄盿 ch峄峮 s谩ng su峄憈 =)))))
V脿 t峄� 膽峄搉g 媒 v峄沬 h岷 h岷縯 c谩c lu岷璶 膽i峄僲 膽瓢峄 膽峄� c岷璸 trong quy峄僴 s谩ch n脿y.
- T矛nh y锚u kh么ng 膽峄� l脿 n峄乶 t岷g v峄痭g ch岷痗 膽峄� x芒y d峄眓g m峄檛 cu峄檆 h么n nh芒n h岷h ph煤c.
- H么n nh芒n c岷 c贸 s峄� g岷 g农i v峄� tinh th岷. N岷縰 b岷 ngh末 c贸 th峄� b峄� qua 膽i峄乽 n脿y th矛 t峄� ngh末 c岷璾 n锚n ho茫n l岷 h么n s峄� cho 膽岷縩 khi th峄眂 s峄� tr瓢峄焠g th脿nh. C岷� hai ng瓢峄漣 c贸 膽峄ヽ tin kh么ng hay v么 th岷? V脿 n岷縰 b岷 tin theo Ch煤a th矛 v峄�/ch峄搉g b岷 c贸 峄g h峄� v脿 theo b岷 kh么ng? V脿 s岷� nh瓢 th岷� n脿o khi hai b岷 c贸 con?
- B岷 ngh末 th岷� n脿o v峄� qu谩 kh峄� c峄 v峄�/ch峄搉g b岷? Nh瓢ng d霉 sao th矛 hai b岷 ph岷 th脿nh th岷璽 v脿 chia s岷� tr瓢峄沜 khi ti岷縩 t峄沬 h么n nh芒n.
- V脿 膽i峄乽 quan tr峄峮g l脿 h茫y h峄峜 c谩ch tho岷� m茫n v峄� v岷 膽峄� 膽贸 v峄沬 partner c峄 m矛nh. STOP basing your expectations on movies/novels! :)
- 鈥�
V脿 sau t岷 c岷� th矛 t峄� ngh末 膽峄檆 th芒n v岷玭 l脿 l峄盿 ch峄峮 s谩ng su峄憈 =)))))
November 27, 2024
毓賲賱賷 賵 賲禺鬲氐乇 賵 賯丕亘賱 賱賱鬲胤亘賷賯 .
賷賲賰賳賰 丕賳 鬲毓乇賮 亘爻賴賵賱丞 兀賳 丕賱賰丕鬲亘 賲乇 亘賴匕丕 賮毓賱丕貙 丕賱賲賱丕丨馗丕鬲 丿賯賷賯賴 賵 賵丕賯毓賷賴 賵 丕賱鬲胤亘賷賯丕鬲 丕賱鬲賷 賷毓乇囟賴丕 賰丨賱賵賱 賲賲賰賳賴 賲毓 丕賱賵賯鬲 賵 丕賱丕爻鬲賲乇丕乇 .
丕賳氐丨 亘賴 賱賰賱 丕賱亘卮乇 毓丕賲丞 賱鬲爻賴賷賱 丕賱鬲毓丕賲賱 賲毓 亘毓囟賳丕 丕賱亘毓囟 賮賷 兀賷 廿胤丕乇 賵 禺丕氐賴 賮賷 廿胤丕乇 丕賱夭賵丕噩 賱兀賳賴 賷囟毓 丕爻卅賱賴 鬲胤亘賷賯賷賴 賮賷 丌禺乇 賰賱 賮氐賱 賷賲賰賳賰 賲賳丕賯卮鬲賴丕 賲毓 卮乇賷賰賰 賰賳卮丕胤 賲賮賷丿 賵 賲孬賲乇 .
賷購賯乇兀 亘賳賷賴 亘賳丕亍 亘賷鬲 賲爻賱賲 賷毓亘丿 丕賱賱賴 賵 亘賳賷賴 廿氐賱丕丨 匕丕鬲 丕賱亘賷賳 賵 亘賳賷賴 鬲丨爻賷賳 丕賱禺購賱購賯賿 賵 睾賷乇賴丕 丕賱賰孬賷乇.
賷氐賱丨 賮賷 乇兀賷賷 賰賴丿賷賴 賱氐丿賷賯鬲賰 丕賱賲禺胤賵亘丞/丕賱賲鬲夭賵噩丞 丨丿賷孬丕 亘丿賱丕 賲賳 賲爻鬲賴賱賰丕鬲 丕禺乇賷 亘賱丕 胤丕亍賱.
賱賰賳賳丕 賰匕賱賰 賱丕 賳賳爻賷 丕賳 賳爻兀賱 丕賱賱賴 丕賱鬲賵賮賷賯 賮賷 丕賱丕禺鬲賷丕乇 賱兀賳賳丕 賳毓賱賲 兀賳賴 :
廿匕丕 賱賲 賷賰賳 毓賻賵賿賳賹 賲賳 丕賱賱賴 賱賱賮鬲賶 賮兀賵賻賾賱購 賲丕 賷噩賳賷 毓賱賷賴 丕噩鬲賴丕丿購賴購
賵廿賳 賰丕賳 毓賵賳購 丕賱賱賴 賱賱毓亘丿賽 賵丕氐賱丕 鬲兀賻鬲賻賾賶 賱賴 賲賳 賰購賱賽賾 卮賷亍賺 賲賽丿丕丿購賴購.
賷賲賰賳賰 丕賳 鬲毓乇賮 亘爻賴賵賱丞 兀賳 丕賱賰丕鬲亘 賲乇 亘賴匕丕 賮毓賱丕貙 丕賱賲賱丕丨馗丕鬲 丿賯賷賯賴 賵 賵丕賯毓賷賴 賵 丕賱鬲胤亘賷賯丕鬲 丕賱鬲賷 賷毓乇囟賴丕 賰丨賱賵賱 賲賲賰賳賴 賲毓 丕賱賵賯鬲 賵 丕賱丕爻鬲賲乇丕乇 .
丕賳氐丨 亘賴 賱賰賱 丕賱亘卮乇 毓丕賲丞 賱鬲爻賴賷賱 丕賱鬲毓丕賲賱 賲毓 亘毓囟賳丕 丕賱亘毓囟 賮賷 兀賷 廿胤丕乇 賵 禺丕氐賴 賮賷 廿胤丕乇 丕賱夭賵丕噩 賱兀賳賴 賷囟毓 丕爻卅賱賴 鬲胤亘賷賯賷賴 賮賷 丌禺乇 賰賱 賮氐賱 賷賲賰賳賰 賲賳丕賯卮鬲賴丕 賲毓 卮乇賷賰賰 賰賳卮丕胤 賲賮賷丿 賵 賲孬賲乇 .
賷購賯乇兀 亘賳賷賴 亘賳丕亍 亘賷鬲 賲爻賱賲 賷毓亘丿 丕賱賱賴 賵 亘賳賷賴 廿氐賱丕丨 匕丕鬲 丕賱亘賷賳 賵 亘賳賷賴 鬲丨爻賷賳 丕賱禺購賱購賯賿 賵 睾賷乇賴丕 丕賱賰孬賷乇.
賷氐賱丨 賮賷 乇兀賷賷 賰賴丿賷賴 賱氐丿賷賯鬲賰 丕賱賲禺胤賵亘丞/丕賱賲鬲夭賵噩丞 丨丿賷孬丕 亘丿賱丕 賲賳 賲爻鬲賴賱賰丕鬲 丕禺乇賷 亘賱丕 胤丕亍賱.
賱賰賳賳丕 賰匕賱賰 賱丕 賳賳爻賷 丕賳 賳爻兀賱 丕賱賱賴 丕賱鬲賵賮賷賯 賮賷 丕賱丕禺鬲賷丕乇 賱兀賳賳丕 賳毓賱賲 兀賳賴 :
廿匕丕 賱賲 賷賰賳 毓賻賵賿賳賹 賲賳 丕賱賱賴 賱賱賮鬲賶 賮兀賵賻賾賱購 賲丕 賷噩賳賷 毓賱賷賴 丕噩鬲賴丕丿購賴購
賵廿賳 賰丕賳 毓賵賳購 丕賱賱賴 賱賱毓亘丿賽 賵丕氐賱丕 鬲兀賻鬲賻賾賶 賱賴 賲賳 賰購賱賽賾 卮賷亍賺 賲賽丿丕丿購賴購.
June 16, 2024
Yes, I was like, 鈥渨haaat鈥�.how do we even begin to talk about THAT?鈥�
Many people tell you that the most important thing to ensure marital stability is good communication. But nobody really tells you what exactly you should communicate about, and how.
This book gives us rough guidelines on the commoner themes that couples get frustrated and argue about (and some other topics too). The author started with talking about the five love languages, and of course, proceeded to promoting his previous book, The 5 Love Languages.
And then he wrote, among others, about apologizing and forgiving, how to disagree without having to go into arguments, about habits and practices (like cleaning the house, personal hygiene), finances, relationships with in-laws, and the expectations that come with it, and even about holidays/vacations.
This book reminds me of 200 Ways to Raise a Girl鈥檚 Self Eteem by Will Glennon, for its use of simple language and general practical advice. It was quite a brezze to read while giving a lot of lessons on marriage.
I think it鈥檚 a useful book to go through when you鈥檙e getting to know a person, or already engaged, so that some of these discussions can be done before deciding to go ahead with the relationship, or, if you鈥檝e already decided, help you make some clear planning on how to steer the marriage (or be a little more mentally prepared...?)
Many people tell you that the most important thing to ensure marital stability is good communication. But nobody really tells you what exactly you should communicate about, and how.
This book gives us rough guidelines on the commoner themes that couples get frustrated and argue about (and some other topics too). The author started with talking about the five love languages, and of course, proceeded to promoting his previous book, The 5 Love Languages.
And then he wrote, among others, about apologizing and forgiving, how to disagree without having to go into arguments, about habits and practices (like cleaning the house, personal hygiene), finances, relationships with in-laws, and the expectations that come with it, and even about holidays/vacations.
This book reminds me of 200 Ways to Raise a Girl鈥檚 Self Eteem by Will Glennon, for its use of simple language and general practical advice. It was quite a brezze to read while giving a lot of lessons on marriage.
I think it鈥檚 a useful book to go through when you鈥檙e getting to know a person, or already engaged, so that some of these discussions can be done before deciding to go ahead with the relationship, or, if you鈥檝e already decided, help you make some clear planning on how to steer the marriage (or be a little more mentally prepared...?)
Want to read
September 28, 2013賳賮爻賷 兀賱丕賯賷賴 噩丿丕
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March 6, 2016
賰鬲丕亘 兀賰孬乇 賲賳 乇丕卅毓貙 毓賲賱賷貙 丨賯賷賯賷貙 賱丕睾賳賶 毓賳賴 賱賰賱 賲賳 賷賮賰乇 兀賵 賷乇睾亘 賮賷 丕賱丕乇鬲亘丕胤. 兀噩賲賱 賲丕 賮賷 賴匕丕 丕賱賰鬲丕亘 賴賵 賵丕賯毓賷鬲賴 賵禺乇賵噩賴 毓賳 丕賱賳賲胤賷丞 丕賱賲賵噩賵丿丞 賮賷 賲毓馗賲 丕賱賰鬲亘 丕賱卮亘賷賴丞 賮賷 賲噩鬲賲毓賳丕 丕賱卮乇賯賷.
September 26, 2016
賲孬賱 賲丕賯賱鬲 賮賷賴 賳氐丕賷丨 噩賲賷賱丞 賵鬲囟毓 丕賱賳賯丕胤 毓賱賶 丕賱丨乇賵賮貙 賵賮賷賴 兀禺乇賶 賱丕賷賲賰賳 鬲胤亘賷賯賴丕 賮賷 賲噩鬲賲毓 賲禺鬲賱賮 毓賳 賲噩鬲賲毓 丕賱賰丕鬲亘貙 賵賮賷賴 賳氐丕賷丨 卮丕胤丨賴 賵鬲毓賲賲 丿賵賳 鬲兀賰賷丿.
亘卮賰賱 毓丕賲 賰鬲丕亘 噩賷丿.
亘卮賰賱 毓丕賲 賰鬲丕亘 噩賷丿.
February 9, 2019
賰鬲丕亘 噩賲賷賱貙 賷賮鬲丨 丌賮丕賯賰 賳丨賵 賲丕 賷噩亘 兀賳 鬲毓乇賮賴 毓賳 卮乇賷賰 丨賷丕鬲賰 賵賲丕 賷噩亘 兀賳 鬲鬲賳丕賯卮丕 亘丨賷丕賱賴 賯亘賱 兀賳 賷鬲賲 丕賱夭賵丕噩..
September 22, 2020
Far too heteronormative. The only good section would be on how to apologise but otherwise it's very stereotypical and written in a sense that he likes the sound of his own voice.
November 20, 2021
Cartea contine niste sfaturi foarte utile pentru o mai buna intelegere a celor doi dintr-un cuplu. D膬 de g芒ndit 葯i 卯n acela葯i timp, ofer膬 solu葲ii la orice problem膬, pre卯nt芒mpin芒nd-o. Dupa fiecare capitol exist膬 un set de 卯ntreb膬ri 葯i exerci葲ii foarte interesante.
June 27, 2023
鈥淢ost people spend far more time in preparation for their vocation than they do in preparation for marriage.鈥� 馃く
Great book no matter what your relationship status might be. Not only do we have love languages but we also have apology languages! Definitely recommend this one.
Great book no matter what your relationship status might be. Not only do we have love languages but we also have apology languages! Definitely recommend this one.
April 13, 2023
This book is clearly written from his perspective and the title belies this, so my criticisms are not exactly 100%valid. He writes from a particular perspective which ignores dual income houses, indigenous justice, feminism or lgbtq relationships. It is not as egregious as it could have been(he acknowledges the reality of divorce and that people may be remarrying with kids), but left something to be desired. Parts of the book read like ads for his other stuff. he also falls into issues of cliches (optimists fall for pessimists, women are more emotional than men in terms of sex). The book does provide good questions to think through and thus fulfills its mission.
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