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Studies in Jungian Psychology by Jungian Analysts #79
袪邪泄褋泻懈褟褌 锌褉芯械泻褌: 胁 褌褗褉褋械薪械 薪邪 袦邪谐懈褔械褋泻懈褟 袛褉褍谐
"袣薪懈谐邪褌邪 锌褉械写褋褌邪胁谢褟胁邪 械褋械 胁褗褉褏褍 锌褋懈褏芯写懈薪邪屑懈泻邪褌邪 薪邪 胁褉褗蟹泻懈褌械. 笑械谢褌邪 褲 械 械胁褉懈褋褌懈褔薪邪, 写邪 锌褉芯胁芯泻懈褉邪 屑懈褋褗谢褌邪 懈 芯褌谐芯胁芯褉邪, 懈 写邪 锌芯褋谢褍卸懈 泻邪褌芯 械写懈薪 胁懈写 泻芯褉械泻褌懈胁 薪邪 褕懈褉芯泻芯褉邪蟹锌褉芯褋褌褉邪薪械薪懈褌械 褎邪薪褌邪蟹懈懈 蟹邪 胁褉褗蟹泻懈褌械, 褋 泻芯懈褌芯 械 锌褉械薪邪褋懈褌械薪邪 薪邪褕邪褌邪 泻褍谢褌褍褉邪. 孝褟 薪械 械 蟹邪屑懈褋谢械薪邪 泻邪褌芯 锌褉邪泻褌懈褔械褋泻懈 薪邪褉褗褔薪懈泻 蟹邪 褌芯胁邪 泻邪泻 写邪 锌芯锌褉邪胁懈屑 械写薪邪 胁褉褗蟹泻邪. 袩芯-褋泻芯褉芯 械 芯锌懈褌 写邪 褋械 锌褉械写懈蟹胁懈泻邪 锌芯-写褗谢斜芯泻 褉邪蟹屑懈褋褗谢 胁褗褉褏褍 锌褉懈褉芯写邪褌邪 薪邪 胁褉褗蟹泻邪褌邪, 写邪 褋械 芯褌锌褉邪胁懈 锌褉械写懈蟹胁懈泻邪褌械谢褋褌胁芯 泻褗屑 锌芯-谐芯谢褟屑邪褌邪 谢懈褔薪邪 芯褌谐芯胁芯褉薪芯褋褌 胁褗胁 胁褉褗蟹泻懈褌械 懈 写邪 胁写褗褏薪芯胁懈 卸械谢邪薪懈械褌芯 蟹邪 谢懈褔薪芯 懈蟹褉邪褋褌胁邪薪械, 泻邪褌芯 锌褉芯褌懈胁芯写械泄褋褌胁邪 薪邪 懈谢褞蟹懈褟褌邪 蟹邪 褋锌邪褋械薪懈械 褔褉械蟹 写褉褍谐懈褌械."
226 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 1998
164 people are currently reading
4,016 people want to read
About the author
James Hollis
51听books860听followersJames Hollis, Ph. D., was born in Springfield, Illinois, and graduated from Manchester University in 1962 and Drew University in 1967. He taught Humanities 26 years in various colleges and universities before retraining as a Jungian analyst at the Jung Institute of Zurich, Switzerland (1977-82). He is presently a licensed Jungian analyst in private practice in Washington, D.C. He served as Executive Director of the Jung Educational Center in Houston, Texas for many years and now was Executive Director of the Jung Society of Washington until 2019, and now serves on the JSW Board of Directors. He is a retired Senior Training Analyst for the Inter-Regional Society of Jungian Analysts, was first Director of Training of the Philadelphia Jung Institute, and is Vice-President Emeritus of the Philemon Foundation. Additionally he is a Professor of Jungian Studies for Saybrook University of San Francisco/Houston.
He lives with his wife Jill, an artist and retired therapist, in Washington, DC. Together they have three living children and eight grand-children.
He has written a total of seventeen books, which have been translated into Swedish, Russian, German, Spanish, French, Hungarian, Portuguese, Turkish, Italian, Korean, Finnish, Romanian, Bulgarian, Farsi, Japanese, Greek, Chinese, Serbian, Latvian, Ukranian and Czech.
He lives with his wife Jill, an artist and retired therapist, in Washington, DC. Together they have three living children and eight grand-children.
He has written a total of seventeen books, which have been translated into Swedish, Russian, German, Spanish, French, Hungarian, Portuguese, Turkish, Italian, Korean, Finnish, Romanian, Bulgarian, Farsi, Japanese, Greek, Chinese, Serbian, Latvian, Ukranian and Czech.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 131 reviews
August 16, 2016
This is my fourth Hollis book. Am I addicted? Possibly. The truth is, I have never found Jungian ideas so accessible or so relevant - that is until I read Hollis. I'm finding the framework of Jungian analysis such an enlightening tool to use when thinking about self and others. This book is a slim book but it packs a lot in. What it did for me was to unravel the romanticised fantasies that permeate modern culture.
Hollis suggests that two great ideas or complexes animate the lives of us all:
The fantasy of immortality
The fantasy of the magical Other
This book deal with the fantasy of the magical other, "not just as a relief from this world's pain, an anodyne to boredom and depression, but a recovery of that fabled Eden one seeks in the labyrinth of our history. Nothing has greater power over our lives than the hint, the promise, the intimation of the recovery of Eden through that magical Other."
But there can be no real Other. There is only another human being who we project all our psychic detritus on to, much of which was created in our childhood experiences. "The parental complexes are usually the most influential because they constitute the original experience of relationship and remain its chief paradigm"
To have a relationship with a real other is to firstly reign in all your own projections in order to truly see the person. However, as all projections are unconscious the need for this type of work on the psyche usually rises only due to the suffering that follows the erosion of the projection.
However the work to understand oneself is an essential aspect of relationship. Being with an other needs to be recognised as a challenge to greater individual responsibility in a relationship. The relationship providing the environment for personal growth not providing a rescue.
Hollis suggests that two great ideas or complexes animate the lives of us all:
The fantasy of immortality
The fantasy of the magical Other
This book deal with the fantasy of the magical other, "not just as a relief from this world's pain, an anodyne to boredom and depression, but a recovery of that fabled Eden one seeks in the labyrinth of our history. Nothing has greater power over our lives than the hint, the promise, the intimation of the recovery of Eden through that magical Other."
But there can be no real Other. There is only another human being who we project all our psychic detritus on to, much of which was created in our childhood experiences. "The parental complexes are usually the most influential because they constitute the original experience of relationship and remain its chief paradigm"
To have a relationship with a real other is to firstly reign in all your own projections in order to truly see the person. However, as all projections are unconscious the need for this type of work on the psyche usually rises only due to the suffering that follows the erosion of the projection.
However the work to understand oneself is an essential aspect of relationship. Being with an other needs to be recognised as a challenge to greater individual responsibility in a relationship. The relationship providing the environment for personal growth not providing a rescue.
September 11, 2017
孝芯胁邪 械 胁褌芯褉邪褌邪 泻薪懈谐邪 薪邪 袛卸械泄屑褋 啸芯谢懈褋, 泻芯褟褌芯 褔械褌邪 (褋谢械写 "袩芯写 褋褟薪泻邪褌邪 薪邪 小邪褌褍褉薪: 褉邪薪褟胁邪薪械 懈 谢械泻褍胁邪薪械 薪邪 屑褗卸泻邪褌邪 写褍褕邪) 懈 械 屑邪谢泻芯 写邪 泻邪卸邪, 褔械 褋褗屑 胁锌械褔邪褌谢械薪. 袩芯写褏芯写懈褏 泻褗屑 袛卸械泄屑褋 啸芯谢懈褋 泻邪褌芯 泻褗屑 锌褋懈褏芯谢芯谐-褞薪谐懈邪薪械褑. 袨褔邪泻胁邪褏 械写懈薪 锌芯-褋泻芯褉芯 薪邪褍褔械薪 邪胁褌芯褉. 袧懈褖芯 锌芯写芯斜薪芯. 袨褖械 褋 锌褗褉胁邪褌邪 泻薪懈谐邪 褌邪蟹懈 锌褉械写褋褌邪胁邪 褉褍褏薪邪, 邪 褋 褌邪蟹懈 褋褗屑 胁械褔械 褌芯褌邪谢薪芯 懈 斜械蟹胁褗蟹胁褉邪褌薪芯 蟹邪锌谢械薪械薪 芯褌 薪械谐芯.
袨褋胁械薪 薪邪褍褔薪邪 褌邪蟹懈 泻薪懈谐邪 械 懈 褔褍写械褋薪芯 薪邪锌懈褋邪薪邪. 袨褌 械写薪邪 褋褌褉邪薪邪 褌褍泻 袛卸械泄屑褋 啸芯谢懈褋 写褗谢斜邪械 胁 芯谐褉芯屑薪邪褌邪 褌械屑邪 蟹邪 袥褞斜芯胁褌邪, 芯锌懈褋胁邪泄泻懈 薪邪褕懈褟 褋褗胁褉械屑械薪械薪 褋胁褟褌, 胁 泻芯泄褌芯 褋屑械 褋械 芯褌泻邪蟹邪谢懈 芯褌 斜芯谐芯胁械褌械 懈 褌褗褉褋械薪械褌芯 薪邪 谢褞斜芯胁褌邪 写芯 谐芯谢褟屑邪 褋褌械锌械薪 械 蟹邪屑械褋褌懈谢芯 褋褌邪褉懈褌械 斜芯卸械褋褌胁邪. 袙 褋褗褖芯褌芯 胁褉械屑械 芯斜邪褔械 薪懈械 胁谢懈蟹邪屑械 胁褗胁 胁褉褗蟹泻懈褌械 褋懈 褋 褌芯胁邪褉邪 芯褌 薪邪褕械褌芯 屑懈薪邪谢芯, 泻芯泄褌芯 褋械 芯褌褉邪蟹褟胁邪 胁褗褉褏褍 薪邪褋褌芯褟褖械褌芯 薪懈. 袧邪 薪械褋褗蟹薪邪褌械谢薪芯 褉邪胁薪懈褖械 薪械 褋锌懈褉邪屑械 写邪 锌褉芯械泻褌懈褉邪屑械 胁褗褉褏褍 胁褗蟹谢褞斜械薪懈褟 (屑邪谐懈褔械褋泻懈褟 袛褉褍谐) 懈 胁懈卸写邪屑械 胁 薪械谐芯 胁褗蟹屑芯卸薪芯褋褌褌邪 写邪 褋械 胁褗褉薪械屑 胁 袨斜械褌芯胁邪薪邪褌邪 蟹械屑褟 薪邪 写械褌褋褌胁芯褌芯 褋懈, 胁 褌邪蟹懈 袪邪泄褋泻邪 谐褉邪写懈薪邪. 袠 芯褋褌邪胁邪屑械 懈蟹谢褗谐邪薪懈.
袟邪褖芯褌芯 薪懈械 卸懈胁械械屑 褌褍泻 懈 褋械谐邪 懈 薪邪褕邪褌邪 屑懈褋懈褟 械 写邪 胁褗褉胁懈屑 锌芯 锌褗褌褟 褋懈, 写邪 褋褌邪薪械屑 锌褗谢薪芯褑械薪薪懈 懈薪写懈胁懈写懈, 写邪 锌芯褉邪褋薪械屑. 袗 薪械 写邪 褋械 胁泻芯锌褔胁邪屑械 胁 屑懈薪邪谢芯褌芯 懈 褌邪泻邪 写邪 芯谐褉邪斜胁邪屑械 薪邪褋褌芯褟褖械褌芯 懈 斜褗写械褖械褌芯 褋懈.
孝邪蟹懈 泻薪懈谐邪 械 懈褋褌懈薪褋泻芯 褋褗泻褉芯胁懈褖械 懈 屑芯卸械 写邪 锌芯屑芯谐薪械 薪邪 胁褋械泻懈 褔芯胁械泻 写邪 芯褌泻褉懈械 锌芯胁械褔械 蟹邪 褋械斜械 褋懈 懈 写邪 胁懈写懈 泻褗写械 褋邪 锌褉械锌褗薪懈-泻邪屑褗薪懈褌械 锌芯 锌褗褌褟 屑褍, 蟹邪 写邪 褋械 芯锌懈褌邪 写邪 谐懈 懈蟹斜械谐薪械.
袟邪胁褗褉褕胁邪屑 褋 褌芯胁邪, 褔械 袛卸械泄屑褋 啸芯谢懈褋 写邪胁邪 褋褌褉邪褏芯褌薪懈 锌褉懈屑械褉懈 褔褉械蟹 褋懈谢薪懈 懈 胁褗蟹写械泄褋褌胁邪褖懈 褋褌懈褏芯褌胁芯褉械薪懈褟 芯褌 械写薪懈 芯褌 薪邪泄-褍褌胁褗褉写械薪懈褌械 锌芯械褌懈. 袣芯械褌芯 械 芯褖械 械写懈薪 斜械蟹褋锌芯褉械薪 锌谢褞褋 薪邪 褌邪蟹懈 泻薪懈谐邪. 袠 芯褖械 械写薪邪 锌褉懈褔懈薪邪 (锌芯薪械 蟹邪 屑械薪) 写邪 锌芯懈褋泻邪屑 写邪 锌褉芯褔械褌邪 懈 写褉褍谐懈 薪械谐芯胁懈 薪械褖邪.
袨褋胁械薪 薪邪褍褔薪邪 褌邪蟹懈 泻薪懈谐邪 械 懈 褔褍写械褋薪芯 薪邪锌懈褋邪薪邪. 袨褌 械写薪邪 褋褌褉邪薪邪 褌褍泻 袛卸械泄屑褋 啸芯谢懈褋 写褗谢斜邪械 胁 芯谐褉芯屑薪邪褌邪 褌械屑邪 蟹邪 袥褞斜芯胁褌邪, 芯锌懈褋胁邪泄泻懈 薪邪褕懈褟 褋褗胁褉械屑械薪械薪 褋胁褟褌, 胁 泻芯泄褌芯 褋屑械 褋械 芯褌泻邪蟹邪谢懈 芯褌 斜芯谐芯胁械褌械 懈 褌褗褉褋械薪械褌芯 薪邪 谢褞斜芯胁褌邪 写芯 谐芯谢褟屑邪 褋褌械锌械薪 械 蟹邪屑械褋褌懈谢芯 褋褌邪褉懈褌械 斜芯卸械褋褌胁邪. 袙 褋褗褖芯褌芯 胁褉械屑械 芯斜邪褔械 薪懈械 胁谢懈蟹邪屑械 胁褗胁 胁褉褗蟹泻懈褌械 褋懈 褋 褌芯胁邪褉邪 芯褌 薪邪褕械褌芯 屑懈薪邪谢芯, 泻芯泄褌芯 褋械 芯褌褉邪蟹褟胁邪 胁褗褉褏褍 薪邪褋褌芯褟褖械褌芯 薪懈. 袧邪 薪械褋褗蟹薪邪褌械谢薪芯 褉邪胁薪懈褖械 薪械 褋锌懈褉邪屑械 写邪 锌褉芯械泻褌懈褉邪屑械 胁褗褉褏褍 胁褗蟹谢褞斜械薪懈褟 (屑邪谐懈褔械褋泻懈褟 袛褉褍谐) 懈 胁懈卸写邪屑械 胁 薪械谐芯 胁褗蟹屑芯卸薪芯褋褌褌邪 写邪 褋械 胁褗褉薪械屑 胁 袨斜械褌芯胁邪薪邪褌邪 蟹械屑褟 薪邪 写械褌褋褌胁芯褌芯 褋懈, 胁 褌邪蟹懈 袪邪泄褋泻邪 谐褉邪写懈薪邪. 袠 芯褋褌邪胁邪屑械 懈蟹谢褗谐邪薪懈.
袟邪褖芯褌芯 薪懈械 卸懈胁械械屑 褌褍泻 懈 褋械谐邪 懈 薪邪褕邪褌邪 屑懈褋懈褟 械 写邪 胁褗褉胁懈屑 锌芯 锌褗褌褟 褋懈, 写邪 褋褌邪薪械屑 锌褗谢薪芯褑械薪薪懈 懈薪写懈胁懈写懈, 写邪 锌芯褉邪褋薪械屑. 袗 薪械 写邪 褋械 胁泻芯锌褔胁邪屑械 胁 屑懈薪邪谢芯褌芯 懈 褌邪泻邪 写邪 芯谐褉邪斜胁邪屑械 薪邪褋褌芯褟褖械褌芯 懈 斜褗写械褖械褌芯 褋懈.
孝邪蟹懈 泻薪懈谐邪 械 懈褋褌懈薪褋泻芯 褋褗泻褉芯胁懈褖械 懈 屑芯卸械 写邪 锌芯屑芯谐薪械 薪邪 胁褋械泻懈 褔芯胁械泻 写邪 芯褌泻褉懈械 锌芯胁械褔械 蟹邪 褋械斜械 褋懈 懈 写邪 胁懈写懈 泻褗写械 褋邪 锌褉械锌褗薪懈-泻邪屑褗薪懈褌械 锌芯 锌褗褌褟 屑褍, 蟹邪 写邪 褋械 芯锌懈褌邪 写邪 谐懈 懈蟹斜械谐薪械.
袟邪胁褗褉褕胁邪屑 褋 褌芯胁邪, 褔械 袛卸械泄屑褋 啸芯谢懈褋 写邪胁邪 褋褌褉邪褏芯褌薪懈 锌褉懈屑械褉懈 褔褉械蟹 褋懈谢薪懈 懈 胁褗蟹写械泄褋褌胁邪褖懈 褋褌懈褏芯褌胁芯褉械薪懈褟 芯褌 械写薪懈 芯褌 薪邪泄-褍褌胁褗褉写械薪懈褌械 锌芯械褌懈. 袣芯械褌芯 械 芯褖械 械写懈薪 斜械蟹褋锌芯褉械薪 锌谢褞褋 薪邪 褌邪蟹懈 泻薪懈谐邪. 袠 芯褖械 械写薪邪 锌褉懈褔懈薪邪 (锌芯薪械 蟹邪 屑械薪) 写邪 锌芯懈褋泻邪屑 写邪 锌褉芯褔械褌邪 懈 写褉褍谐懈 薪械谐芯胁懈 薪械褖邪.
June 13, 2017
This book was the the tipping point in my recent exploration of the Jungian genre. I now officially self-identify as a Jungian. Powerful book that lays out the psychological process of our yearning and search for "the one".
This short book is now a must-read in my view. Its 144 pages but the main meat and power in this book is the first 3 chapters, a total of 85 pages.
The Eden Project - Part 1 of 3: Understanding Our Yearning For Connection and How It Can Destroy Our Relationships.
This series, consisting of 3 notes that I hope to publish, lays out the fundamental psychological process of what鈥檚 happening beneath the surface when we seek a soulmate or romantic partner. It鈥檚 quite the disturbing eye-opener for those of us who consider ourselves 鈥渞omantics,鈥� and 鈥渟earching for our one true love.鈥� The first note deals primarily with the difficulty of two people trying to genuinely connect beneath all the layers of false expectations and pre-programmed ideas of what a relationship is actually all about. Before anyone becomes too despondent about the seemingly impossibility of having a genuine relationship, hang in there for parts 2 and 3 which will lay out a pathway for healthy and successful relationships. It is not easy and there is a lot to overcome in the process, but it can lead to genuine and lasting relationships.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following are crucial excerpts from this eye-opening book:
The Eden Project 鈥� In Search of the Magical Other 鈥� James Hollis
A Jungian Perspective on Relationship
This book is essentially an essay on the psychodynamics of relationship. Its intention is heuristic [Enabling a person to discover or learn something for themselves], to provoke thought and response, and to serve as a sort of corrective to the generalized fantasies about relationships that permeate our culture.
It is not meant to be a practical guide on how to fix a relationship. Rather it is an effort to evoke deeper reflection on the nature of relationship, to provide a challenge to enlarged personal responsibility in relationships, and to inspire a desire for personal growth as opposed to the fantasy of rescue through others. Its premises may be disappointing to some, and as a matter of fact I don鈥檛 care much for them myself, but they are, I believe, more practical and more ethical than the many alternatives that float through our popular culture.
鈥f there is a single idea which permeates this essay it is that the quality of all our relationships is a direct function of our relationship to ourselves. Since much of our relationship to ourselves operate at an unconscious level, most of the drama and dynamics of our relationships to other and to the transcendent is expressive of our own personal psychology. The best thing we can do for our relationships with others, and with the transcendent, then, is to render our relationship to ourselves more conscious.
This is not a narcissistic activity. In fact, it will prove to be the most loving thing we can do for the Other. The greatest gift to other is our own best selves. Thus, paradoxically, if we are to serve relationships well, we are obliged to affirm our individual journey. - Pages 鈥� 12, 13
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is no accident that all peoples, past and present, have had their mythology of a lost paradise. 鈥erhaps this tribal memory is but the neurological hologram of our own birth trauma, a separation from which we never fully recover. Perhaps a clue may be found in the two trees of Eden in Genesis. One is the Tree of Life and the other is the Tree of Knowledge. Of the former one may eat, but eating of the latter begins the joyless trek out of Paradise.
鈥nce the dream-time in the Garden is truncated, the shock of separation is so systemic, so seismic, that it remains imprinted on the neurological pathways, abiding in the unconscious as lost connectedness. It is no accident that the primary motive, the hidden agenda in any relationship, is the yearning to return. It is the cardinal鈥檚 project, the Eden project, the professed aim of the Romantic poets, the yearning of the Beloved. - Pages 鈥� 15, 16, 17
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is impossible for the parent to wholly manage the task of providing connection with the child while at the same time progressively separating. So the toddler wails, when the parent goes out of sight. Even when diverted or mollified, the child still does not forget these injuries. Thrown by fate into this family or that, the child can only read the environment for clues. This reading is necessarily partial, that is, limited to that specific family, without awareness that an infinite variety of other models are possible. But from such partial views of the world huge decisions are made before there is sufficient consciousness to allow a differentiated understanding. - Page 鈥� 18
鈥s birth itself seems a kind of gigantic, systemic wound鈥� The British psychiatrist D.W. Winnicott coined the expression 鈥済ood enough鈥� parent, which allows all of us to reclaim our parental histories. But it is nonetheless inevitable that the prime source of wounding to the child will be the parents. Since we are human, our less than perfect nature will necessarily impinge on the child and leave its imprint forever. As any therapist knows, the primary area in which growth is blocked, or relationship stuck, usually becomes clear in processing these parent-child encounters which are internalized as complexes.
鈥he parental complexes are usually the most influential because they constitute the original experience of relationship, and remain its chief paradigm. Again, because of the subjective misreading of these primal relationships, the power of the parental complexes to determine the character of subsequent relationships cannot be overstated. - Pages 鈥� 20, 21, 22
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are we doomed to these patterns? Surely we are free to be and to behave otherwise. Yes, but that requires a high degree of conscious awareness of the pattern, and we can only know something is a pattern when we have done it several times. Moreover, until midlife or later we have seldom gained sufficient ego strength to reflect upon our choices. The young person is still too unconscious and cannot risk any self-doubt in the already shaky enterprise of life. Even aging does not necessarily produce consciousness. Think of those who have multiple marriages, undeterred by the intimation of a pattern in the dynamics of their relationships, unaware of the unconscious templates dictating their choices as they set off in search of a new Beloved.
Only when one has suffered the collapse of projections onto the Other, 鈥ay one begin to recognize that the enemy is within, that the Other is not what he or she may seem, and that one is summoned to a deep personal accounting before one can begin to clear the terrain for true relationship. One does not come to such recognitions easily, without having suffered failure, shame, rage or humiliation. But in such dreary states may be found the beginning of insight into oneself, without which no lasting relationship may be achieved.
鈥onsider the obvious, then, that we can hardly have a conscious, efficacious relationship with the Other when we have a deeply wounded relationship with ourselves. Consider, then, how difficult it is to have any relationship at all. All that I do not know about myself, all of my secret projects for healing myself of the wounds derived from my culture and family of origin. I am now imposing on you. All the complexes I have acquired in my life on this earth, you will have to suffer from me. How could I do that to you, while professing to love you? How can you do that to me, while professing to love me?
鈥o we bring ourselves to relationship. With scant knowledge of ourselves, we seek our identity in the mirror of the Other, as we once did in Mom and Dad. With all our wounds of this perilous condition we seek a safe harbor in the Other who, alas, is seeking the same in us. We bring the immensity of the cardinal鈥檚 project, the yearning to merge with the Other, the one who will protect, nurture and save us. - Pages 鈥� 28, 30, 32
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The other great false idea that drives humankind is the fantasy of the Magical Other, the notion that there is one person out there who is right for us, will make our lives work, a soul-mate who will repair the ravages of our personal history; one who will be there for us, who will read our minds, know what we want and meet those deepest needs; a good parent who will protect us from suffering and, if we are lucky, spare us the perilous journey of individuation.
Virtually all popular culture is fueled by this idea and its fallout - the search for the Magical Other, finding him or her, the dismaying discovery of this Other鈥檚 humanness, and the renewed search鈥� Listen to the next ten songs on the car radio. Nine of them will be about the hunt for the Magical Other.
鈥o, to be fascinated by the Other is to be possessed by an affective idea. This is what happens in projection. In the most rabid stage of being in love 鈥� and rabid is by no means too strong a word 鈥� one is unable to do other than obsess on the Other. One is caught in a projective identification with the heart鈥檚 desire, the boundaries between self and Other dissolving again, as they did for the infant. This is the unconscious underpinning of the fascination with the Other: the search to recover the lost paradise of childhood, the original participation mystique with the primary caregivers.
鈥omantic love, by which we mean that elan, that heightened ardor, that intense yearning for the Beloved, that frantic grappling, that profound sorrow when the Beloved is lost, that anxious uncertainty about the fixity of the Other 鈥� all this and more is both the greatest source of energy and the chief narcotic of our time. 鈥ne may even suggest that romantic love has replaced institutional religion as the greatest motive power and influence in our lives.
So, the search for love has replaced the search for G-d. Shocking thought? Untrue? Again, simply surf the stations of the radio. Almost all the popular songs express the 鈥渞eligiosity鈥� of romantic love. Recall the etymology of the word religion 鈥� 鈥渢o bind back to, reconnect with.鈥� Hitherto we sought this in relationship with a supreme being; now we seek it through immersion in an Other. - Pages 鈥� 37, 40, 43
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Projection and Re-Collection in Jungian Psychology, Zurich analyst Marie-Louise von Franz has delineated the fivefold process of projection and then re-collecting our psychic fragments.
#1 鈥� First, a person is convinced that his or her inner experience is truly outer, for it is experienced 鈥渙ut there.鈥� Thus one may fall deeply in love or deeply into suspicion. One man I knew followed his wife everywhere because he was convinced she was having an affairs. He hired detectives, obliged her to take two polygraph tests, and still could not believe her protestations of fidelity. As an eight year old he had seen his mother drive away with another man and he never saw her again. He could not believe that this second woman, to whom he had given his heart, could be any different.
#2 鈥� The second stage of the projective process arises out of the often gradual perception of discrepancy, the widening gulf between who the Other is supposed to be in our concrete experience. Why does she act in such apparent disregard for my agenda? Why does he not seem devoted only to me? Why is she sometimes fractious and intractable? Niggling questions grow into large doubts. Doubts lead to consternation. One begins to question the reality of the Other, after all. This is troubling and accounts for the fact that so many couples move from na茂ve relatedness to the jousting of power. If you do not act as I wish, I shall bring about your compliance by my actions. I will control you, criticize you, abuse you, withdraw from you, sabotage you. Seldom are these attitudes and behaviors conscious, but they are there, filling in the gaps.
The loss of a projection is often painful, and the broader the projection, the deeper the hurt. One has been counting on the Other to make the journey back home possible. 鈥ften by the time a couple seeks therapy, each feels viscerally wounded by the Other. The bloodletting has been considerable. Each see the therapist not as a neutral third party, but as a judge who will rule his or her position just. By this time, the couple has usually fallen out of love and the power principle prevails.
#3 鈥� The third stage of the projective process, whether in or out of therapy, obliges the assessment of this new perception of the Other. One鈥檚 partner must now be seen anew. What is going on between us? Who, really, is he/she?
#4 鈥� The fourth stage leads one to recognize that what one perceived was actually not real, that one was not experiencing the Other out there, but the Other in here. This step represents an act of ethical courage, for it helps to lift the cosmic project off the shoulders of the Other.
#5 鈥� The fifth stage requires the search for the origin of that projected energy within oneself. This is to ask for the meaning of the projection. Which part of me was projected, and to what end? Since projections are by definition originally unconscious, we can only withdraw them when we have sustained the suffering of discrepancy. - Pages 鈥� 51, 52,
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apart from the pain of such discrepancies, we may detect projections in the same three ways in which we detect complexes.
Firstly, there are predictable situations in which complexes, or projections, are likely to be activated. Most generally, the entire sphere of intimacy is one such charged field in which projections are being exchanged at all times. This fact may seem depressing 鈥� it is in any case humbling 鈥� for one does not really know the Other, ever, and what we do not know we are prone to fill with our own projected material. Even those who lived together for decades barely know each other, psychologically speaking, though they may be greatly habituated to each other.
Secondly, we may experience projection in a physical way. A churning stomach, a quickening heart, sweaty palms and so on are somatic states that can alert us to the likelihood of projection.
Thirdly, in projection the quantity of energy discharged is always disproportionate to the situation. Since the field of intimate relationship carries the burden of the 鈥済oing home鈥� project, so the largeness of the energy we feel in such a relationship is evidence of the largeness of the agenda projected. This is not to say that relationships are not profoundly important, but rather that we may make them too important. Again, this is why one is bereft at the loss of the Other, sometimes suicidal, for the fantasy of recovering the lost Primal Other has crumbled. We are meant to grieve loss, of course, but too often the overvaluation of the Other is achieved only through the devaluation of oneself. - Pages 鈥� 52, 53
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Those vested deeply in the idea of romance will no doubt protest, but then they will remain enslaved to the pursuit of the illusory Magical Other. The reader groans and asks, 鈥淏ut is there no romance? Is there nothing that makes life interesting, exciting?鈥� but yes, of course! And that is the wonderful side of projection.
Certainly, the words of this text will not stop projection any more than we can ever become wholly conscious. When we soberly review the history of our relationships, we are obliged to acknowledge that they began at one place and evolved to quite another.
鈥ltimately, the health and hope of any intimate relationship will depend on each party鈥檚 willingness to assume responsibility for the relationship to one鈥檚 own unconscious material. Sounds logical, even easy, yet nothing is more difficult. The chief burden on any relationship derives both from our unwillingness to assume responsibility and from the immensity of the project.
It takes great courage to ask this fundamental question: 鈥淲hat am I asking of this Other that I ought to be doing for myself?鈥� If, for example, I am asking the Other to be mindful of my self-esteem, I have a project waiting unaddressed. If I am expecting the Other to be the good parent and take care of me, then I have not grown up. If I am expecting the Other to spare me the rigor and terror of living my own journey, then I have abdicated from the chief task and most worthy reason for my incarnation on this earth.
鈥rojection, fusion, 鈥済oing home,鈥� is easy; loving another鈥檚 otherness is heroic. If we really love the Other as Other, we have heroically taken on the responsibility for our own individuation, our own journey. - Pages 鈥� 56, 57
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The going home project is deeply programmed in us from our traumatic onsets. But, as we see all around us, it remains the chief saboteur of intimate relationships. Thus, we are all caught between the deeply programmed desire to fuse with the Other and the inner imperative to separate, to individuate. This tension of opposites will always be present. Holding that tension, bringing it to consciousness, is the moral task of both parties in any close relationship, a task that requires conscious effort and heroic will.
When one has let go of that great hidden agenda that drives humanity and its varied histories, then one can begin to encounter the immensity of one鈥檚 own soul. If we are courageous enough to say, 鈥淣ot this person, nor any other, can ultimately give me what I want; only I can.鈥� Then we are free to celebrate a relationship for what it can give. The paradox lies in the fact that the Other can be a means through which one is enabled to glimpse the immensity of one鈥檚 own soul and live a portion of one鈥檚 individuation. 鈥� Page 58
We are travelers, all and separately. We are thrown by fate into adjacent seats on a flight to the coast. In our solitude we may enhance the journey of the Other, who may likewise enhance ours. We embarked separately, we disembark separately, and we head for our appointed ends separately. We profit greatly from each other without using each other. Our projections upon the Other are inevitable; not bad, really, for they enrich the journey, but if we hold on to them they become diversions from our individual task. 鈥� Page 61
鈥hen relationship is not driven by need, but by caring for the other as Other, then we are really free to experience him or her. 鈥� Page 64
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This short book is now a must-read in my view. Its 144 pages but the main meat and power in this book is the first 3 chapters, a total of 85 pages.
The Eden Project - Part 1 of 3: Understanding Our Yearning For Connection and How It Can Destroy Our Relationships.
This series, consisting of 3 notes that I hope to publish, lays out the fundamental psychological process of what鈥檚 happening beneath the surface when we seek a soulmate or romantic partner. It鈥檚 quite the disturbing eye-opener for those of us who consider ourselves 鈥渞omantics,鈥� and 鈥渟earching for our one true love.鈥� The first note deals primarily with the difficulty of two people trying to genuinely connect beneath all the layers of false expectations and pre-programmed ideas of what a relationship is actually all about. Before anyone becomes too despondent about the seemingly impossibility of having a genuine relationship, hang in there for parts 2 and 3 which will lay out a pathway for healthy and successful relationships. It is not easy and there is a lot to overcome in the process, but it can lead to genuine and lasting relationships.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following are crucial excerpts from this eye-opening book:
The Eden Project 鈥� In Search of the Magical Other 鈥� James Hollis
A Jungian Perspective on Relationship
This book is essentially an essay on the psychodynamics of relationship. Its intention is heuristic [Enabling a person to discover or learn something for themselves], to provoke thought and response, and to serve as a sort of corrective to the generalized fantasies about relationships that permeate our culture.
It is not meant to be a practical guide on how to fix a relationship. Rather it is an effort to evoke deeper reflection on the nature of relationship, to provide a challenge to enlarged personal responsibility in relationships, and to inspire a desire for personal growth as opposed to the fantasy of rescue through others. Its premises may be disappointing to some, and as a matter of fact I don鈥檛 care much for them myself, but they are, I believe, more practical and more ethical than the many alternatives that float through our popular culture.
鈥f there is a single idea which permeates this essay it is that the quality of all our relationships is a direct function of our relationship to ourselves. Since much of our relationship to ourselves operate at an unconscious level, most of the drama and dynamics of our relationships to other and to the transcendent is expressive of our own personal psychology. The best thing we can do for our relationships with others, and with the transcendent, then, is to render our relationship to ourselves more conscious.
This is not a narcissistic activity. In fact, it will prove to be the most loving thing we can do for the Other. The greatest gift to other is our own best selves. Thus, paradoxically, if we are to serve relationships well, we are obliged to affirm our individual journey. - Pages 鈥� 12, 13
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is no accident that all peoples, past and present, have had their mythology of a lost paradise. 鈥erhaps this tribal memory is but the neurological hologram of our own birth trauma, a separation from which we never fully recover. Perhaps a clue may be found in the two trees of Eden in Genesis. One is the Tree of Life and the other is the Tree of Knowledge. Of the former one may eat, but eating of the latter begins the joyless trek out of Paradise.
鈥nce the dream-time in the Garden is truncated, the shock of separation is so systemic, so seismic, that it remains imprinted on the neurological pathways, abiding in the unconscious as lost connectedness. It is no accident that the primary motive, the hidden agenda in any relationship, is the yearning to return. It is the cardinal鈥檚 project, the Eden project, the professed aim of the Romantic poets, the yearning of the Beloved. - Pages 鈥� 15, 16, 17
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is impossible for the parent to wholly manage the task of providing connection with the child while at the same time progressively separating. So the toddler wails, when the parent goes out of sight. Even when diverted or mollified, the child still does not forget these injuries. Thrown by fate into this family or that, the child can only read the environment for clues. This reading is necessarily partial, that is, limited to that specific family, without awareness that an infinite variety of other models are possible. But from such partial views of the world huge decisions are made before there is sufficient consciousness to allow a differentiated understanding. - Page 鈥� 18
鈥s birth itself seems a kind of gigantic, systemic wound鈥� The British psychiatrist D.W. Winnicott coined the expression 鈥済ood enough鈥� parent, which allows all of us to reclaim our parental histories. But it is nonetheless inevitable that the prime source of wounding to the child will be the parents. Since we are human, our less than perfect nature will necessarily impinge on the child and leave its imprint forever. As any therapist knows, the primary area in which growth is blocked, or relationship stuck, usually becomes clear in processing these parent-child encounters which are internalized as complexes.
鈥he parental complexes are usually the most influential because they constitute the original experience of relationship, and remain its chief paradigm. Again, because of the subjective misreading of these primal relationships, the power of the parental complexes to determine the character of subsequent relationships cannot be overstated. - Pages 鈥� 20, 21, 22
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are we doomed to these patterns? Surely we are free to be and to behave otherwise. Yes, but that requires a high degree of conscious awareness of the pattern, and we can only know something is a pattern when we have done it several times. Moreover, until midlife or later we have seldom gained sufficient ego strength to reflect upon our choices. The young person is still too unconscious and cannot risk any self-doubt in the already shaky enterprise of life. Even aging does not necessarily produce consciousness. Think of those who have multiple marriages, undeterred by the intimation of a pattern in the dynamics of their relationships, unaware of the unconscious templates dictating their choices as they set off in search of a new Beloved.
Only when one has suffered the collapse of projections onto the Other, 鈥ay one begin to recognize that the enemy is within, that the Other is not what he or she may seem, and that one is summoned to a deep personal accounting before one can begin to clear the terrain for true relationship. One does not come to such recognitions easily, without having suffered failure, shame, rage or humiliation. But in such dreary states may be found the beginning of insight into oneself, without which no lasting relationship may be achieved.
鈥onsider the obvious, then, that we can hardly have a conscious, efficacious relationship with the Other when we have a deeply wounded relationship with ourselves. Consider, then, how difficult it is to have any relationship at all. All that I do not know about myself, all of my secret projects for healing myself of the wounds derived from my culture and family of origin. I am now imposing on you. All the complexes I have acquired in my life on this earth, you will have to suffer from me. How could I do that to you, while professing to love you? How can you do that to me, while professing to love me?
鈥o we bring ourselves to relationship. With scant knowledge of ourselves, we seek our identity in the mirror of the Other, as we once did in Mom and Dad. With all our wounds of this perilous condition we seek a safe harbor in the Other who, alas, is seeking the same in us. We bring the immensity of the cardinal鈥檚 project, the yearning to merge with the Other, the one who will protect, nurture and save us. - Pages 鈥� 28, 30, 32
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The other great false idea that drives humankind is the fantasy of the Magical Other, the notion that there is one person out there who is right for us, will make our lives work, a soul-mate who will repair the ravages of our personal history; one who will be there for us, who will read our minds, know what we want and meet those deepest needs; a good parent who will protect us from suffering and, if we are lucky, spare us the perilous journey of individuation.
Virtually all popular culture is fueled by this idea and its fallout - the search for the Magical Other, finding him or her, the dismaying discovery of this Other鈥檚 humanness, and the renewed search鈥� Listen to the next ten songs on the car radio. Nine of them will be about the hunt for the Magical Other.
鈥o, to be fascinated by the Other is to be possessed by an affective idea. This is what happens in projection. In the most rabid stage of being in love 鈥� and rabid is by no means too strong a word 鈥� one is unable to do other than obsess on the Other. One is caught in a projective identification with the heart鈥檚 desire, the boundaries between self and Other dissolving again, as they did for the infant. This is the unconscious underpinning of the fascination with the Other: the search to recover the lost paradise of childhood, the original participation mystique with the primary caregivers.
鈥omantic love, by which we mean that elan, that heightened ardor, that intense yearning for the Beloved, that frantic grappling, that profound sorrow when the Beloved is lost, that anxious uncertainty about the fixity of the Other 鈥� all this and more is both the greatest source of energy and the chief narcotic of our time. 鈥ne may even suggest that romantic love has replaced institutional religion as the greatest motive power and influence in our lives.
So, the search for love has replaced the search for G-d. Shocking thought? Untrue? Again, simply surf the stations of the radio. Almost all the popular songs express the 鈥渞eligiosity鈥� of romantic love. Recall the etymology of the word religion 鈥� 鈥渢o bind back to, reconnect with.鈥� Hitherto we sought this in relationship with a supreme being; now we seek it through immersion in an Other. - Pages 鈥� 37, 40, 43
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Projection and Re-Collection in Jungian Psychology, Zurich analyst Marie-Louise von Franz has delineated the fivefold process of projection and then re-collecting our psychic fragments.
#1 鈥� First, a person is convinced that his or her inner experience is truly outer, for it is experienced 鈥渙ut there.鈥� Thus one may fall deeply in love or deeply into suspicion. One man I knew followed his wife everywhere because he was convinced she was having an affairs. He hired detectives, obliged her to take two polygraph tests, and still could not believe her protestations of fidelity. As an eight year old he had seen his mother drive away with another man and he never saw her again. He could not believe that this second woman, to whom he had given his heart, could be any different.
#2 鈥� The second stage of the projective process arises out of the often gradual perception of discrepancy, the widening gulf between who the Other is supposed to be in our concrete experience. Why does she act in such apparent disregard for my agenda? Why does he not seem devoted only to me? Why is she sometimes fractious and intractable? Niggling questions grow into large doubts. Doubts lead to consternation. One begins to question the reality of the Other, after all. This is troubling and accounts for the fact that so many couples move from na茂ve relatedness to the jousting of power. If you do not act as I wish, I shall bring about your compliance by my actions. I will control you, criticize you, abuse you, withdraw from you, sabotage you. Seldom are these attitudes and behaviors conscious, but they are there, filling in the gaps.
The loss of a projection is often painful, and the broader the projection, the deeper the hurt. One has been counting on the Other to make the journey back home possible. 鈥ften by the time a couple seeks therapy, each feels viscerally wounded by the Other. The bloodletting has been considerable. Each see the therapist not as a neutral third party, but as a judge who will rule his or her position just. By this time, the couple has usually fallen out of love and the power principle prevails.
#3 鈥� The third stage of the projective process, whether in or out of therapy, obliges the assessment of this new perception of the Other. One鈥檚 partner must now be seen anew. What is going on between us? Who, really, is he/she?
#4 鈥� The fourth stage leads one to recognize that what one perceived was actually not real, that one was not experiencing the Other out there, but the Other in here. This step represents an act of ethical courage, for it helps to lift the cosmic project off the shoulders of the Other.
#5 鈥� The fifth stage requires the search for the origin of that projected energy within oneself. This is to ask for the meaning of the projection. Which part of me was projected, and to what end? Since projections are by definition originally unconscious, we can only withdraw them when we have sustained the suffering of discrepancy. - Pages 鈥� 51, 52,
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Apart from the pain of such discrepancies, we may detect projections in the same three ways in which we detect complexes.
Firstly, there are predictable situations in which complexes, or projections, are likely to be activated. Most generally, the entire sphere of intimacy is one such charged field in which projections are being exchanged at all times. This fact may seem depressing 鈥� it is in any case humbling 鈥� for one does not really know the Other, ever, and what we do not know we are prone to fill with our own projected material. Even those who lived together for decades barely know each other, psychologically speaking, though they may be greatly habituated to each other.
Secondly, we may experience projection in a physical way. A churning stomach, a quickening heart, sweaty palms and so on are somatic states that can alert us to the likelihood of projection.
Thirdly, in projection the quantity of energy discharged is always disproportionate to the situation. Since the field of intimate relationship carries the burden of the 鈥済oing home鈥� project, so the largeness of the energy we feel in such a relationship is evidence of the largeness of the agenda projected. This is not to say that relationships are not profoundly important, but rather that we may make them too important. Again, this is why one is bereft at the loss of the Other, sometimes suicidal, for the fantasy of recovering the lost Primal Other has crumbled. We are meant to grieve loss, of course, but too often the overvaluation of the Other is achieved only through the devaluation of oneself. - Pages 鈥� 52, 53
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Those vested deeply in the idea of romance will no doubt protest, but then they will remain enslaved to the pursuit of the illusory Magical Other. The reader groans and asks, 鈥淏ut is there no romance? Is there nothing that makes life interesting, exciting?鈥� but yes, of course! And that is the wonderful side of projection.
Certainly, the words of this text will not stop projection any more than we can ever become wholly conscious. When we soberly review the history of our relationships, we are obliged to acknowledge that they began at one place and evolved to quite another.
鈥ltimately, the health and hope of any intimate relationship will depend on each party鈥檚 willingness to assume responsibility for the relationship to one鈥檚 own unconscious material. Sounds logical, even easy, yet nothing is more difficult. The chief burden on any relationship derives both from our unwillingness to assume responsibility and from the immensity of the project.
It takes great courage to ask this fundamental question: 鈥淲hat am I asking of this Other that I ought to be doing for myself?鈥� If, for example, I am asking the Other to be mindful of my self-esteem, I have a project waiting unaddressed. If I am expecting the Other to be the good parent and take care of me, then I have not grown up. If I am expecting the Other to spare me the rigor and terror of living my own journey, then I have abdicated from the chief task and most worthy reason for my incarnation on this earth.
鈥rojection, fusion, 鈥済oing home,鈥� is easy; loving another鈥檚 otherness is heroic. If we really love the Other as Other, we have heroically taken on the responsibility for our own individuation, our own journey. - Pages 鈥� 56, 57
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The going home project is deeply programmed in us from our traumatic onsets. But, as we see all around us, it remains the chief saboteur of intimate relationships. Thus, we are all caught between the deeply programmed desire to fuse with the Other and the inner imperative to separate, to individuate. This tension of opposites will always be present. Holding that tension, bringing it to consciousness, is the moral task of both parties in any close relationship, a task that requires conscious effort and heroic will.
When one has let go of that great hidden agenda that drives humanity and its varied histories, then one can begin to encounter the immensity of one鈥檚 own soul. If we are courageous enough to say, 鈥淣ot this person, nor any other, can ultimately give me what I want; only I can.鈥� Then we are free to celebrate a relationship for what it can give. The paradox lies in the fact that the Other can be a means through which one is enabled to glimpse the immensity of one鈥檚 own soul and live a portion of one鈥檚 individuation. 鈥� Page 58
We are travelers, all and separately. We are thrown by fate into adjacent seats on a flight to the coast. In our solitude we may enhance the journey of the Other, who may likewise enhance ours. We embarked separately, we disembark separately, and we head for our appointed ends separately. We profit greatly from each other without using each other. Our projections upon the Other are inevitable; not bad, really, for they enrich the journey, but if we hold on to them they become diversions from our individual task. 鈥� Page 61
鈥hen relationship is not driven by need, but by caring for the other as Other, then we are really free to experience him or her. 鈥� Page 64
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February 22, 2025I found this books very informative -- my exposure to Jung is mainly anecdotal, through summaries of his thought -- but the bedrock claims about Other as projection, about the existential nature of relationship: I'm not sure I accept them. As a possible way of understanding the world, they're certainly interesting ideas, but several of the bedrock assumptions necessary to make them work don't feel as asked-and-answered to me as they do to the author. Still, as a book, it's lucid, spirited, helpful, and clarifying.
May 27, 2023
孝邪蟹懈 泻薪懈谐邪 械 械写薪芯 褋胁芯械芯斜褉邪蟹薪芯 锌褗褌械褕械褋褌胁懈械 鈥� 锌褗褌械褕械褋褌胁懈械 懈蟹 写械斜褉懈褌械 薪邪 褌芯谢泻芯胁邪 蟹薪邪褔懈屑邪褌邪 懈 褋褗褖械褋褌胁械薪邪 蟹邪 胁褋懈褔泻懈 薪懈 褌械屑邪 蟹邪 胁谢褞斜胁邪薪械褌芯 懈 谢褞斜芯胁褌邪; 蟹邪 褌芯胁邪 蟹邪褖芯 锌芯褌械薪褑懈邪谢薪芯 褋械 锌芯褌邪锌褟屑械 褋屑械谢芯 胁褗胁 胁褉褗蟹泻懈, 泻芯懈褌芯 薪械 薪懈 褍写芯胁谢械褌胁芯褉褟胁邪褌; 泻芯懈褌芯 谢械褋薪芯 褋械 褉邪蟹锌邪写邪褌 懈 褔懈懈褌芯 褉褍懈薪懈 薪邪斜谢褞写邪胁邪屑械 锌褉械泻邪谢械薪芯 褔械褋褌芯.
袙谢褞斜胁邪薪械褌芯 鈥� 褌芯蟹懈 褌芯谢泻芯胁邪 懈褋泻褉械薪 懈 锌褉懈褋褗褖 薪邪 胁褋褟泻芯 褔芯胁械褕泻芯 褋褗褖械褋褌胁芯 锌褉芯褑械褋, 褌邪蟹懈 械薪懈谐屑邪褌懈褔薪邪, 写褗谢斜芯泻邪 懈 写芯褉懈 鈥炑€褟蟹泻芯 锌褉懈褋褌褗锌薪邪鈥� 械屑芯褑懈芯薪邪谢薪芯褋褌鈥� 薪邪褔邪谢芯褌芯 薪邪 械写懈薪 锌褉械写懈蟹胁械褋褌械薪 泻褉邪泄 谢懈 械? 袩褉械写胁邪褉懈褌械谢械薪 胁械褋褌懈褌械谢, 薪芯褋械褖 褋胁懈褌褗泻邪 薪邪 褉邪蟹芯褔邪褉芯胁邪薪懈械褌芯? 袦芯卸械 斜懈 鈥� 薪邪写械卸写邪褌邪 芯斜邪褔械 褋械 泻褉懈械 蟹邪写 薪懈胁芯褌芯 薪懈 薪邪 褋械斜械锌芯蟹薪邪薪懈械 鈥� 泻褉邪泄薪懈褟褌 褉械蟹褍谢褌邪褌 械 胁褋褗褖薪芯褋褌 蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑 芯褌 薪邪褕懈褌械 褋芯斜褋褌胁械薪懈 懈蟹斜芯褉懈. 袠蟹斜芯褉懈, 褋胁褗褉蟹邪薪懈 褋 卸械谢邪薪懈褟褌邪 薪懈 蟹邪 鈥炐沸靶惭€褗褖邪薪械鈥� 泻褗屑 械写薪邪 褑褟谢芯褋褌薪芯褋褌, 泻褗屑 械写懈薪 鈥炐犘靶� 薪邪 蟹械屑褟褌邪鈥�, 泻褗屑 鈥炐溞靶承秆囆笛佇盒秆� 袛褉褍谐鈥�, 泻芯泄褌芯 写邪 薪懈 褋锌邪褋懈 芯褌 卸械褋褌芯泻芯褋褌褌邪, 芯褌泻褉懈褌邪 胁 蟹邪芯斜懈泻邪谢褟褖邪褌邪 薪懈 写械泄褋褌胁懈褌械谢薪芯褋褌. 袙褋懈褔泻芯 褌芯胁邪 斜懈胁邪 锌褉械泻褉邪褋薪芯 懈谢褞褋褌褉懈褉邪薪芯 褔褉械蟹 褋谢褍褔邪懈 芯褌 褌械褉邪锌械胁褌懈褔薪邪褌邪 锌褉邪泻褌懈泻邪 薪邪 邪胁褌芯褉邪.
袨泻邪蟹胁邪 褋械, 胁 泻褉邪泄薪邪 褋屑械褌泻邪, 褔械 褌褗褉褋械泄泻懈 芯斜械泻褌 薪邪 卸械谢邪薪懈褟褌邪 褋懈, 薪懈械 褋褟泻邪褕 褌褗褉褋懈屑 褋械斜械 褋懈 鈥� 褋胁芯械 锌械褉褎械泻褌薪芯 泻芯锌懈械, 泻芯械褌芯 薪械 褋邪屑芯 锌褉芯褋褌芯 写邪 褋褗褖械褋褌胁褍胁邪, 薪芯 懈 写邪 写械泄褋褌胁邪, 写邪 褉邪蟹褋褗卸写邪胁邪 锌芯 薪邪褕 芯斜褉邪蟹 懈 锌芯写芯斜懈械. 袠 褌芯谐邪胁邪 褋谢械写胁邪 褋褌褉邪写邪薪懈械褌芯 鈥� 鈥炐溞靶承秆囆笛佇盒秆徰� 袛褉褍谐鈥� 薪械 械 褌芯谢泻芯胁邪 屑邪谐懈褔械褋泻懈, 邪 械 锌褉芯褋褌芯 鈥炐斞€褍谐鈥�. 袙谢褞斜胁邪薪械褌芯 泻芯褉邪斜芯泻褉褍褕懈褉邪, 邪 屑褟褋褌芯 蟹邪 懈褋褌懈薪褋泻邪 谢褞斜芯胁 (斜械蟹褍褋谢芯胁薪邪) 薪褟屑邪. 袟邪褖芯褌芯 褋邪屑芯 胁 锌褉懈械屑邪薪械褌芯 薪邪 褔褍卸写邪褌邪 鈥炐囱€褍谐芯褋褌鈥� 屑芯卸械屑 写邪 薪械 斜褗写械屑 锌褉芯褋褌芯 胁谢褞斜械薪懈, 邪 芯斜懈褔邪褖懈.
袙谢褞斜胁邪薪械褌芯 鈥� 褌芯蟹懈 褌芯谢泻芯胁邪 懈褋泻褉械薪 懈 锌褉懈褋褗褖 薪邪 胁褋褟泻芯 褔芯胁械褕泻芯 褋褗褖械褋褌胁芯 锌褉芯褑械褋, 褌邪蟹懈 械薪懈谐屑邪褌懈褔薪邪, 写褗谢斜芯泻邪 懈 写芯褉懈 鈥炑€褟蟹泻芯 锌褉懈褋褌褗锌薪邪鈥� 械屑芯褑懈芯薪邪谢薪芯褋褌鈥� 薪邪褔邪谢芯褌芯 薪邪 械写懈薪 锌褉械写懈蟹胁械褋褌械薪 泻褉邪泄 谢懈 械? 袩褉械写胁邪褉懈褌械谢械薪 胁械褋褌懈褌械谢, 薪芯褋械褖 褋胁懈褌褗泻邪 薪邪 褉邪蟹芯褔邪褉芯胁邪薪懈械褌芯? 袦芯卸械 斜懈 鈥� 薪邪写械卸写邪褌邪 芯斜邪褔械 褋械 泻褉懈械 蟹邪写 薪懈胁芯褌芯 薪懈 薪邪 褋械斜械锌芯蟹薪邪薪懈械 鈥� 泻褉邪泄薪懈褟褌 褉械蟹褍谢褌邪褌 械 胁褋褗褖薪芯褋褌 蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑 芯褌 薪邪褕懈褌械 褋芯斜褋褌胁械薪懈 懈蟹斜芯褉懈. 袠蟹斜芯褉懈, 褋胁褗褉蟹邪薪懈 褋 卸械谢邪薪懈褟褌邪 薪懈 蟹邪 鈥炐沸靶惭€褗褖邪薪械鈥� 泻褗屑 械写薪邪 褑褟谢芯褋褌薪芯褋褌, 泻褗屑 械写懈薪 鈥炐犘靶� 薪邪 蟹械屑褟褌邪鈥�, 泻褗屑 鈥炐溞靶承秆囆笛佇盒秆� 袛褉褍谐鈥�, 泻芯泄褌芯 写邪 薪懈 褋锌邪褋懈 芯褌 卸械褋褌芯泻芯褋褌褌邪, 芯褌泻褉懈褌邪 胁 蟹邪芯斜懈泻邪谢褟褖邪褌邪 薪懈 写械泄褋褌胁懈褌械谢薪芯褋褌. 袙褋懈褔泻芯 褌芯胁邪 斜懈胁邪 锌褉械泻褉邪褋薪芯 懈谢褞褋褌褉懈褉邪薪芯 褔褉械蟹 褋谢褍褔邪懈 芯褌 褌械褉邪锌械胁褌懈褔薪邪褌邪 锌褉邪泻褌懈泻邪 薪邪 邪胁褌芯褉邪.
袨泻邪蟹胁邪 褋械, 胁 泻褉邪泄薪邪 褋屑械褌泻邪, 褔械 褌褗褉褋械泄泻懈 芯斜械泻褌 薪邪 卸械谢邪薪懈褟褌邪 褋懈, 薪懈械 褋褟泻邪褕 褌褗褉褋懈屑 褋械斜械 褋懈 鈥� 褋胁芯械 锌械褉褎械泻褌薪芯 泻芯锌懈械, 泻芯械褌芯 薪械 褋邪屑芯 锌褉芯褋褌芯 写邪 褋褗褖械褋褌胁褍胁邪, 薪芯 懈 写邪 写械泄褋褌胁邪, 写邪 褉邪蟹褋褗卸写邪胁邪 锌芯 薪邪褕 芯斜褉邪蟹 懈 锌芯写芯斜懈械. 袠 褌芯谐邪胁邪 褋谢械写胁邪 褋褌褉邪写邪薪懈械褌芯 鈥� 鈥炐溞靶承秆囆笛佇盒秆徰� 袛褉褍谐鈥� 薪械 械 褌芯谢泻芯胁邪 屑邪谐懈褔械褋泻懈, 邪 械 锌褉芯褋褌芯 鈥炐斞€褍谐鈥�. 袙谢褞斜胁邪薪械褌芯 泻芯褉邪斜芯泻褉褍褕懈褉邪, 邪 屑褟褋褌芯 蟹邪 懈褋褌懈薪褋泻邪 谢褞斜芯胁 (斜械蟹褍褋谢芯胁薪邪) 薪褟屑邪. 袟邪褖芯褌芯 褋邪屑芯 胁 锌褉懈械屑邪薪械褌芯 薪邪 褔褍卸写邪褌邪 鈥炐囱€褍谐芯褋褌鈥� 屑芯卸械屑 写邪 薪械 斜褗写械屑 锌褉芯褋褌芯 胁谢褞斜械薪懈, 邪 芯斜懈褔邪褖懈.
December 8, 2020
A rather bleak take on what our modern day idea of romantic attachment actually constitutes. It's an easy read on the Jungian scale with a hard to digest message. What if we ever only loved ourselves? And maybe that's what we did. Like Narcissus, we stare at our own reflection and can't have enough; and that special person we swear to love is nothing but a creation of our own imagination; a poorly tailored awkward suit which they carry around for us to worship. Until the day the suit starts to fall apart and we can no longer avoid the facts - there's that other human being we barely know and most certainly don't really like. And we don't like them not because they are so bad but because they are nothing like we've imagined. Maybe we hate them a little for trying to trick us into believing in them. But then we become wiser, move along and fall for the next imaginary saviour, the next magical Other. And this is all embedded in our culture - poetry, books, music, arts, cinema, you name it - the longing to meet someone who completes us, soothes us, makes us whole. The one who holds the key to us being happy and being something, our raison d'锚tre.
But what if the proverbial Creator had other plans for us? Read along.
But what if the proverbial Creator had other plans for us? Read along.
May 7, 2018
I thought Hollis had peaked for me when I read Through the Dark Wood, but Eden Project is on another level entirely. This was one of those books full of ideas that are both strikingly obvious and completely foreign all at once. I underlined so much I'll have to decode my underlinings.
July 12, 2014
Basic principles of this book that I feel most adults already know:
1. There is no Disney reality of love or soulmate. Relationships are ongoing decisions.
2. Past relationships affect future relationships, and early relationships (ie parent/child) are most likely to be formative.
Wish the book weren't written so esoterically for such basic ideas. The takeaway message is simply: figure out what past experiences are shaping your current ones so that you can live more freely in the present.
I agree with these points, I just don't think I need 150 pages of jargon and poetry to say so.
1. There is no Disney reality of love or soulmate. Relationships are ongoing decisions.
2. Past relationships affect future relationships, and early relationships (ie parent/child) are most likely to be formative.
Wish the book weren't written so esoterically for such basic ideas. The takeaway message is simply: figure out what past experiences are shaping your current ones so that you can live more freely in the present.
I agree with these points, I just don't think I need 150 pages of jargon and poetry to say so.
December 24, 2013
How can Hollis be thanked for such an eye-opening, profound book? I'm grateful for what I learned in this excellent book.
February 5, 2022
袨 效袝袦 袣袧袠袚袗:
啸芯谢谢懈褋 褉邪蟹斜懈褉邪械褌 薪邪褕懈 褎邪薪褌邪蟹懈懈 芯 褉芯屑邪薪褌懈褔械褋泻懈褏 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟褏 懈 写芯泻邪蟹褘胁邪械褌, 褔褌芯 屑褘 褔邪褖械 胁褋械谐芯 芯褌褉邪斜邪褌褘胁邪械屑 胁 谢褞斜胁懈 薪邪褕懈 胁褘褉芯卸写械薪薪褘械 锌褉芯械泻褑懈懈 懈 褍褋褌邪薪芯胁泻懈. 袙屑械褋褌芯 屑懈褎芯胁 芯 褉芯屑邪薪褌懈褔械褋泻芯泄 谢褞斜胁懈 邪胁褌芯褉 锌褉械写谢邪谐邪械褌 薪邪屑 蟹褉械谢褘泄 锌芯写褏芯写 泻 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟屑. 袘褉邪泻 - 褝褌芯 褋谢芯卸薪褘泄 锌褍褌褜, 泻芯褌芯褉褘泄 屑芯谐褍褌 锌褉芯泄褌懈 褋芯胁屑械褋褌薪芯 写胁邪 褔械谢芯胁械泻邪, 芯褋褌邪胁邪褟褋褜 锌褉懈 褝褌芯屑 懈薪写懈胁懈写褍邪谢褜薪芯褋褌褟屑懈 懈 薪械 锌褉芯械褑懈褉褍褟 写褉褍谐 薪邪 写褉褍谐邪 褋胁芯懈 泻芯屑锌谢械泻褋褘.
袚袥袗袙袧袗携 袦蝎小袥鞋 袣袧袠袚袠:
袣邪褔械褋褌胁芯 胁褋械褏 薪邪褕懈褏 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈泄 褋 写褉褍谐懈屑懈 锌褉褟屑芯 蟹邪胁懈褋懈褌 芯褌 褌芯谐芯, 泻邪泻 屑褘 芯褌薪芯褋懈屑褋褟 泻 褋械斜械. 袩芯褝褌芯屑褍 谢褍褔褕懈泄 褋锌芯褋芯斜 褍褋芯胁械褉褕械薪褋褌胁芯胁邪褌褜 褋胁芯懈 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟 褋 芯泻褉褍卸邪褞褖懈屑懈 鈥� 屑邪泻褋懈屑邪谢褜薪芯 锌芯谢薪芯 芯褋芯蟹薪邪褌褜 褋胁芯械 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈械 泻 褋械斜械.
袟袗效袝袦 效袠孝袗孝鞋 协孝校 袣袧袠袚校?
效褌芯斜褘 懈蟹斜邪胁懈褌褜褋褟 芯褌 懈谢谢褞蟹懈懈, 褔褌芯 泻褌芯-褌芯, 泻褉芯屑械 薪邪褋 褋邪屑懈褏, 屑芯卸械褌 褋写械谢邪褌褜 薪邪褕褍 卸懈蟹薪褜 谢褍褔褕械.
袦蝎小袥袠 袠 袙蝎袙袨袛蝎 袠袟 袣袧袠袚袠:
- 锌芯泻邪 褔械谢芯胁械泻 薪械 写芯褋褌懈谐薪械褌 褋褉械写薪械谐芯 胁芯蟹褉邪褋褌邪 懈谢懈 薪械 褋褌邪薪械褌 械褖械 褋褌邪褉褕械, 械谐芯 协谐芯 薪械 褏胁邪褌懈褌 褋懈谢, 褔褌芯斜褘 芯褋芯蟹薪邪褌褜 褋芯胁械褉褕邪械屑褘泄 懈屑 胁褘斜芯褉. 袦芯谢芯写芯泄 褔械谢芯胁械泻 胁褋械 卸械 褟胁谢褟械褌褋褟 褋谢懈褕泻芯屑 斜械褋褋芯蟹薪邪褌械谢褜薪褘屑 懈 薪械 屑芯卸械褌 锌芯泄褌懈 薪邪 褉懈褋泻, 褔褌芯斜褘 褍褋芯屑薪懈褌褜褋褟 胁 褋械斜械 锌褉懈 褌邪泻懈褏 褋懈谢褜薪褘褏 锌芯褌褉褟褋械薪懈褟褏 胁 卸懈蟹薪懈. 袛邪卸械 写芯褋褌懈卸械薪懈械 锌褉械泻谢芯薪薪芯谐芯 胁芯蟹褉邪褋褌邪 薪械 谐邪褉邪薪褌懈褉褍械褌 芯褋芯蟹薪邪薪懈褟.
- 芦袥褞斜芯胁褜 鈥� 褝褌芯 褋谢芯胁芯, 泻芯褌芯褉芯械 芯斜芯蟹薪邪褔邪械褌 褋械泻褋褍邪谢褜薪芯械 胁芯蟹斜褍卸写械薪懈械 褞薪芯褕懈, 锌褉懈胁褘褔泻褍 褔械谢芯胁械泻邪 褋褉械写薪械谐芯 胁芯蟹褉邪褋褌邪 懈 胁蟹邪懈屑薪褍褞 蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑芯褋褌褜 褋褌邪褉懈泻芯胁禄
- 袪芯屑邪薪褌懈褔械褋泻邪褟 谢褞斜芯胁褜 锌芯 褋懈谢械 褋胁芯械谐芯 胁芯蟹写械泄褋褌胁懈褟 蟹邪屑械薪懈谢邪 懈薪褋褌懈褌褍褌 褉械谢懈谐懈懈.
- 袘褉邪泻 写芯谢卸械薪 锌芯屑芯谐邪褌褜 谢懈褔薪芯褋褌薪芯屑褍 褉芯褋褌褍 泻邪卸写芯谐芯 胁 锌邪褉械. 袙薪械褕薪褟褟 锌褉芯写芯谢卸懈褌械谢褜薪芯褋褌褜 斜褉邪泻邪 薪械 写邪褢褌 锌芯胁芯写芯胁 写谢褟 褌芯褉卸械褋褌胁邪, 胁械写褜 屑褘 薪械 蟹薪邪械屑, 泻邪泻 蟹邪 褝褌芯 胁褉械屑褟 懈蟹屑械薪懈谢邪褋褜 写褍褕邪 泻邪卸写芯谐芯 懈蟹 褋褍锌褉褍谐芯胁.
- 芦孝芯, 褔褌芯 屑芯谐褍褌 锌褉械写谢芯卸懈褌褜 写褉褍谐懈械 胁懈写褘 蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑芯褋褌懈: 薪邪褉泻芯褌懈褔械褋泻邪褟, 懈谐褉芯胁邪褟,听鈥� 屑械褉泻薪械褌 锌芯 褋褉邪胁薪械薪懈褞 褋 褌械屑, 褔褌芯 屑芯卸械褌 锌褉械写谢芯卸懈褌褜 褌褉邪薪褋褑械薪写械薪褌薪褘泄 袛褉褍谐芯泄. 袗 芯薪 锌褉械写谢邪谐邪械褌 薪械 锌褉芯褋褌芯 芯斜谢械谐褔懈褌褜 斜芯谢褜 芯褌 褋褌芯谢泻薪芯胁械薪懈褟 褋 胁薪械褕薪懈屑 屑懈褉芯屑, 薪械 锌褉芯褋褌芯 薪邪褏芯写懈褌 褋褉械写褋褌胁芯 褋锌邪褋械薪懈褟 芯褌 褋泻褍泻懈 懈 写械锌褉械褋褋懈懈, 邪 胁芯褋褋芯蟹写邪械褌 褌芯褌 锌芯褌械褉褟薪薪褘泄 褉邪泄, 泻芯褌芯褉褘泄 褔械谢芯胁械泻 懈褖械褌 胁 谢邪斜懈褉懈薪褌械 褋胁芯械泄 懈薪写懈胁懈写褍邪谢褜薪芯泄 懈褋褌芯褉懈懈.禄
- 袧邪褕 袛褉褍谐芯泄 屑芯卸械褌 褌芯谢褜泻芯 芯斜芯谐邪褌懈褌褜 薪邪褕械 褋褌褉邪薪褋褌胁懈械 胁 褝褌芯屑 屑懈褉械, 邪 屑褘 械谐芯 锌褍褌褜. 袧芯 屑褘 芯斜邪 锌褉芯卸懈胁邪械屑 芦褋芯胁屑械褋褌薪芯-懈薪写懈胁懈写褍邪谢褜薪芯械禄 褋褌褉邪薪褋褌胁懈械. 袙 褝褌芯屑 褋谢褍褔邪械 薪械蟹邪懈薪褌械褉械褋芯胁邪薪薪邪褟 谢褞斜芯胁褜 袛褉褍谐芯谐芯 锌褉芯斜褍卸写邪械褌 胁 薪邪褋 褝薪械褉谐懈褞 懈 胁芯蟹褉芯卸写邪械褌 懈薪褌械褉械褋 泻 卸懈蟹薪懈.
效孝袨 携 袘校袛校 袩袪袠袦袝袧携孝鞋:
袩芯薪懈卸褍 褋胁芯懈 芯卸懈写邪薪懈褟 芯 褌芯屑, 泻邪泻邪褟 写芯谢褟 褉芯屑邪薪褌懈泻懈 写芯谢卸薪邪 斜褘褌褜 胁 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟褏.
袝些袝 袧袗 协孝校 孝袝袦校:
袗谢械薪 袛械 袘芯褌褌芯薪 芦袣褍褉褋 谢褞斜胁懈鈥�
啸芯谢谢懈褋 褉邪蟹斜懈褉邪械褌 薪邪褕懈 褎邪薪褌邪蟹懈懈 芯 褉芯屑邪薪褌懈褔械褋泻懈褏 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟褏 懈 写芯泻邪蟹褘胁邪械褌, 褔褌芯 屑褘 褔邪褖械 胁褋械谐芯 芯褌褉邪斜邪褌褘胁邪械屑 胁 谢褞斜胁懈 薪邪褕懈 胁褘褉芯卸写械薪薪褘械 锌褉芯械泻褑懈懈 懈 褍褋褌邪薪芯胁泻懈. 袙屑械褋褌芯 屑懈褎芯胁 芯 褉芯屑邪薪褌懈褔械褋泻芯泄 谢褞斜胁懈 邪胁褌芯褉 锌褉械写谢邪谐邪械褌 薪邪屑 蟹褉械谢褘泄 锌芯写褏芯写 泻 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟屑. 袘褉邪泻 - 褝褌芯 褋谢芯卸薪褘泄 锌褍褌褜, 泻芯褌芯褉褘泄 屑芯谐褍褌 锌褉芯泄褌懈 褋芯胁屑械褋褌薪芯 写胁邪 褔械谢芯胁械泻邪, 芯褋褌邪胁邪褟褋褜 锌褉懈 褝褌芯屑 懈薪写懈胁懈写褍邪谢褜薪芯褋褌褟屑懈 懈 薪械 锌褉芯械褑懈褉褍褟 写褉褍谐 薪邪 写褉褍谐邪 褋胁芯懈 泻芯屑锌谢械泻褋褘.
袚袥袗袙袧袗携 袦蝎小袥鞋 袣袧袠袚袠:
袣邪褔械褋褌胁芯 胁褋械褏 薪邪褕懈褏 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈泄 褋 写褉褍谐懈屑懈 锌褉褟屑芯 蟹邪胁懈褋懈褌 芯褌 褌芯谐芯, 泻邪泻 屑褘 芯褌薪芯褋懈屑褋褟 泻 褋械斜械. 袩芯褝褌芯屑褍 谢褍褔褕懈泄 褋锌芯褋芯斜 褍褋芯胁械褉褕械薪褋褌胁芯胁邪褌褜 褋胁芯懈 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟 褋 芯泻褉褍卸邪褞褖懈屑懈 鈥� 屑邪泻褋懈屑邪谢褜薪芯 锌芯谢薪芯 芯褋芯蟹薪邪褌褜 褋胁芯械 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈械 泻 褋械斜械.
袟袗效袝袦 效袠孝袗孝鞋 协孝校 袣袧袠袚校?
效褌芯斜褘 懈蟹斜邪胁懈褌褜褋褟 芯褌 懈谢谢褞蟹懈懈, 褔褌芯 泻褌芯-褌芯, 泻褉芯屑械 薪邪褋 褋邪屑懈褏, 屑芯卸械褌 褋写械谢邪褌褜 薪邪褕褍 卸懈蟹薪褜 谢褍褔褕械.
袦蝎小袥袠 袠 袙蝎袙袨袛蝎 袠袟 袣袧袠袚袠:
- 锌芯泻邪 褔械谢芯胁械泻 薪械 写芯褋褌懈谐薪械褌 褋褉械写薪械谐芯 胁芯蟹褉邪褋褌邪 懈谢懈 薪械 褋褌邪薪械褌 械褖械 褋褌邪褉褕械, 械谐芯 协谐芯 薪械 褏胁邪褌懈褌 褋懈谢, 褔褌芯斜褘 芯褋芯蟹薪邪褌褜 褋芯胁械褉褕邪械屑褘泄 懈屑 胁褘斜芯褉. 袦芯谢芯写芯泄 褔械谢芯胁械泻 胁褋械 卸械 褟胁谢褟械褌褋褟 褋谢懈褕泻芯屑 斜械褋褋芯蟹薪邪褌械谢褜薪褘屑 懈 薪械 屑芯卸械褌 锌芯泄褌懈 薪邪 褉懈褋泻, 褔褌芯斜褘 褍褋芯屑薪懈褌褜褋褟 胁 褋械斜械 锌褉懈 褌邪泻懈褏 褋懈谢褜薪褘褏 锌芯褌褉褟褋械薪懈褟褏 胁 卸懈蟹薪懈. 袛邪卸械 写芯褋褌懈卸械薪懈械 锌褉械泻谢芯薪薪芯谐芯 胁芯蟹褉邪褋褌邪 薪械 谐邪褉邪薪褌懈褉褍械褌 芯褋芯蟹薪邪薪懈褟.
- 芦袥褞斜芯胁褜 鈥� 褝褌芯 褋谢芯胁芯, 泻芯褌芯褉芯械 芯斜芯蟹薪邪褔邪械褌 褋械泻褋褍邪谢褜薪芯械 胁芯蟹斜褍卸写械薪懈械 褞薪芯褕懈, 锌褉懈胁褘褔泻褍 褔械谢芯胁械泻邪 褋褉械写薪械谐芯 胁芯蟹褉邪褋褌邪 懈 胁蟹邪懈屑薪褍褞 蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑芯褋褌褜 褋褌邪褉懈泻芯胁禄
- 袪芯屑邪薪褌懈褔械褋泻邪褟 谢褞斜芯胁褜 锌芯 褋懈谢械 褋胁芯械谐芯 胁芯蟹写械泄褋褌胁懈褟 蟹邪屑械薪懈谢邪 懈薪褋褌懈褌褍褌 褉械谢懈谐懈懈.
- 袘褉邪泻 写芯谢卸械薪 锌芯屑芯谐邪褌褜 谢懈褔薪芯褋褌薪芯屑褍 褉芯褋褌褍 泻邪卸写芯谐芯 胁 锌邪褉械. 袙薪械褕薪褟褟 锌褉芯写芯谢卸懈褌械谢褜薪芯褋褌褜 斜褉邪泻邪 薪械 写邪褢褌 锌芯胁芯写芯胁 写谢褟 褌芯褉卸械褋褌胁邪, 胁械写褜 屑褘 薪械 蟹薪邪械屑, 泻邪泻 蟹邪 褝褌芯 胁褉械屑褟 懈蟹屑械薪懈谢邪褋褜 写褍褕邪 泻邪卸写芯谐芯 懈蟹 褋褍锌褉褍谐芯胁.
- 芦孝芯, 褔褌芯 屑芯谐褍褌 锌褉械写谢芯卸懈褌褜 写褉褍谐懈械 胁懈写褘 蟹邪胁懈褋懈屑芯褋褌懈: 薪邪褉泻芯褌懈褔械褋泻邪褟, 懈谐褉芯胁邪褟,听鈥� 屑械褉泻薪械褌 锌芯 褋褉邪胁薪械薪懈褞 褋 褌械屑, 褔褌芯 屑芯卸械褌 锌褉械写谢芯卸懈褌褜 褌褉邪薪褋褑械薪写械薪褌薪褘泄 袛褉褍谐芯泄. 袗 芯薪 锌褉械写谢邪谐邪械褌 薪械 锌褉芯褋褌芯 芯斜谢械谐褔懈褌褜 斜芯谢褜 芯褌 褋褌芯谢泻薪芯胁械薪懈褟 褋 胁薪械褕薪懈屑 屑懈褉芯屑, 薪械 锌褉芯褋褌芯 薪邪褏芯写懈褌 褋褉械写褋褌胁芯 褋锌邪褋械薪懈褟 芯褌 褋泻褍泻懈 懈 写械锌褉械褋褋懈懈, 邪 胁芯褋褋芯蟹写邪械褌 褌芯褌 锌芯褌械褉褟薪薪褘泄 褉邪泄, 泻芯褌芯褉褘泄 褔械谢芯胁械泻 懈褖械褌 胁 谢邪斜懈褉懈薪褌械 褋胁芯械泄 懈薪写懈胁懈写褍邪谢褜薪芯泄 懈褋褌芯褉懈懈.禄
- 袧邪褕 袛褉褍谐芯泄 屑芯卸械褌 褌芯谢褜泻芯 芯斜芯谐邪褌懈褌褜 薪邪褕械 褋褌褉邪薪褋褌胁懈械 胁 褝褌芯屑 屑懈褉械, 邪 屑褘 械谐芯 锌褍褌褜. 袧芯 屑褘 芯斜邪 锌褉芯卸懈胁邪械屑 芦褋芯胁屑械褋褌薪芯-懈薪写懈胁懈写褍邪谢褜薪芯械禄 褋褌褉邪薪褋褌胁懈械. 袙 褝褌芯屑 褋谢褍褔邪械 薪械蟹邪懈薪褌械褉械褋芯胁邪薪薪邪褟 谢褞斜芯胁褜 袛褉褍谐芯谐芯 锌褉芯斜褍卸写邪械褌 胁 薪邪褋 褝薪械褉谐懈褞 懈 胁芯蟹褉芯卸写邪械褌 懈薪褌械褉械褋 泻 卸懈蟹薪懈.
效孝袨 携 袘校袛校 袩袪袠袦袝袧携孝鞋:
袩芯薪懈卸褍 褋胁芯懈 芯卸懈写邪薪懈褟 芯 褌芯屑, 泻邪泻邪褟 写芯谢褟 褉芯屑邪薪褌懈泻懈 写芯谢卸薪邪 斜褘褌褜 胁 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟褏.
袝些袝 袧袗 协孝校 孝袝袦校:
袗谢械薪 袛械 袘芯褌褌芯薪 芦袣褍褉褋 谢褞斜胁懈鈥�
January 13, 2018
Like most other books I鈥檝e read this year, this took me longer to read than it should have. The book isn鈥檛 long, and it鈥檚 interesting enough to get through in a short period of time. I definitely enjoyed the book, quoting the author (and others the author quoted) multiple times while reading it.
The book explains the some of the Jungian theory of romantic relationships, specifically how we project onto our beloved and additionally expect them to save us: from death, from the hardships of life, from ourselves.
I remember being awestruck by the book, 鈥淲e鈥� by Robert Johnson, many years ago. I felt it removed some of the illusion of romantic love, and would help one move on from what ultimately was a delusion. In fact, I鈥檝e had client report it did just that. I think, 鈥淭he Eden Project: In Search of the Magical Other鈥� does the same, but takes it further, builds upon it. I鈥檓 not sure if it is 鈥渞ecency effect鈥�, and it certainly has been over a decade since I read, 鈥淲e鈥�, but I found 鈥淭he Eden Project鈥� more in depth, and inspiring of growth. I definitely recommend it if you鈥檙e interested in understanding romantic love and how to transcend it.
The book explains the some of the Jungian theory of romantic relationships, specifically how we project onto our beloved and additionally expect them to save us: from death, from the hardships of life, from ourselves.
I remember being awestruck by the book, 鈥淲e鈥� by Robert Johnson, many years ago. I felt it removed some of the illusion of romantic love, and would help one move on from what ultimately was a delusion. In fact, I鈥檝e had client report it did just that. I think, 鈥淭he Eden Project: In Search of the Magical Other鈥� does the same, but takes it further, builds upon it. I鈥檓 not sure if it is 鈥渞ecency effect鈥�, and it certainly has been over a decade since I read, 鈥淲e鈥�, but I found 鈥淭he Eden Project鈥� more in depth, and inspiring of growth. I definitely recommend it if you鈥檙e interested in understanding romantic love and how to transcend it.
April 7, 2016
Simply amazing.
May 3, 2018
One of the most important books on human relationships that I've ever read. Highly recommended to anyone in a relationship who wants to learn more about themselves and their relationships.
April 1, 2024
v important and valuable and also short. sadly not short enough to read every single day 1000 times which is what i would need to avoid falling into the same patterns it points out but great medicine for people who have issues w individuality, purpose and the distractions/false hopes we sometimes get lost in for years or lifetimes
January 2, 2019
袙懈薪邪谐懈 褔械褌邪 袛卸械泄屑褋 啸芯谢懈褋 褋 谢械泻邪 褉械蟹械褉胁懈褉邪薪芯褋褌, 薪芯 泻邪褌芯 褟 懈蟹泻谢褞褔邪, 屑芯谐邪 写邪 蟹邪褟胁褟, 斜械蟹 写邪 锌褉械褍胁械谢懈褔邪胁邪屑, 褔械 写褍屑懈褌械 屑褍 胁蟹懈屑邪褌 褏邪褉邪泻褌械褉邪 薪邪 锌褉芯褋胁械褌谢械薪懈械. 袩褉械写懈 谐芯写懈薪懈 锌褉芯褔械褌芯褏 "袩芯写 褋褟薪泻邪褌邪 薪邪 小邪褌褍褉薪", 写褉褍谐 薪械谐芯胁 褕械写褜芯胁褗褉, 懈 褌邪蟹懈 泻薪懈谐邪 蟹邪胁懈薪邪谐懈 锌褉芯屑械薪懈 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈械褌芯 屑懈 泻褗屑 屑褗卸械褌械. 袟邪锌芯褔薪邪褏 写邪 谐懈 褉邪蟹斜懈褉邪屑, 芯褋胁械薪 写邪 谐懈 芯斜懈褔邪屑.
袩芯褋械谐薪邪褏 芯褌薪芯胁芯 泻褗屑 啸芯谢懈褋 锌芯 锌芯胁械谢褟褌邪 薪邪 写褗谢谐芯褌褉邪泄薪芯 蟹邪斜芯谢褟胁邪薪械, 泻邪褌芯 褋械 斜懈械褏 胁 谐褗褉写懈褌械, 褔械 薪褟屑邪 薪邪 泻邪泻胁芯 锌芯胁械褔械 写邪 薪邪褍褔邪 蟹邪 胁谢褞斜胁邪薪械褌芯 懈 谢褞斜芯胁褌邪, 褌褗泄 泻邪褌芯 蟹薪邪屑 胁褋懈褔泻芯. 袧芯 薪褍卸写邪褌邪 芯褌 薪械褖芯 褞薪谐懈邪薪褋泻芯, 褋褗褖械胁褉械屑械薪薪芯 薪械褖芯 褋懈谢薪芯 懈 蟹写褉邪胁芯 胁 褌芯蟹懈 屑芯屑械薪褌, 屑械 锌褉懈薪褍写懈 薪邪斜褗褉蟹芯 写邪 锌褉懈褋褌褗锌褟 泻褗屑 褔械褌械薪械褌芯.
"袪邪泄褋泻懈褟褌 锌褉芯械泻褌" 械 胁锌械褔邪褌谢褟胁邪褖芯 褉械蟹褞屑械 薪邪 褉械邪谢薪芯褋褌褌邪, 泻芯褟褌芯 褋褌芯懈 蟹邪写 胁谢褞斜胁邪薪械褌芯 懈 薪邪锌褗薪懈褌械 薪懈 写邪 蟹邪芯斜懈褔邪屑械 薪褟泻芯泄 写褉褍谐 芯褋胁械薪 褋械斜械 褋懈.
袣薪懈谐邪褌邪 褋褗褖芯 械 薪械褖芯, 泻芯械褌芯 斜懈 屑芯谐谢芯 写邪 斜褗写械 薪邪褉械褔械薪芯 芯斜芯斜褖械薪懈械 薪邪 屑薪芯谐芯褌芯屑薪芯褌芯 芯锌懈褋邪薪懈械 薪邪 褔芯胁械褕泻懈褌械 胁褗卸写械谢械薪懈褟 蟹邪 褋锌邪褋械薪懈械, 薪邪 芯锌懈褌懈褌械 薪懈 写邪 锌褉械褏胁褗褉谢懈屑 蟹邪写邪褔邪褌邪 薪邪 褋芯斜褋褌胁械薪懈褟 薪懈 卸懈胁芯褌 胁褗褉褏褍 薪褟泻芯泄 写褉褍谐 懈 写邪 褋械 芯褌褌褗褉褋懈屑 芯褌 锌褉懈薪褍写邪褌邪 写邪 褋械 写褗褉卸懈屑 泻邪褌芯 胁褗蟹褉邪褋褌薪懈.
袩芯胁械褔械 薪邪:
袩芯褋械谐薪邪褏 芯褌薪芯胁芯 泻褗屑 啸芯谢懈褋 锌芯 锌芯胁械谢褟褌邪 薪邪 写褗谢谐芯褌褉邪泄薪芯 蟹邪斜芯谢褟胁邪薪械, 泻邪褌芯 褋械 斜懈械褏 胁 谐褗褉写懈褌械, 褔械 薪褟屑邪 薪邪 泻邪泻胁芯 锌芯胁械褔械 写邪 薪邪褍褔邪 蟹邪 胁谢褞斜胁邪薪械褌芯 懈 谢褞斜芯胁褌邪, 褌褗泄 泻邪褌芯 蟹薪邪屑 胁褋懈褔泻芯. 袧芯 薪褍卸写邪褌邪 芯褌 薪械褖芯 褞薪谐懈邪薪褋泻芯, 褋褗褖械胁褉械屑械薪薪芯 薪械褖芯 褋懈谢薪芯 懈 蟹写褉邪胁芯 胁 褌芯蟹懈 屑芯屑械薪褌, 屑械 锌褉懈薪褍写懈 薪邪斜褗褉蟹芯 写邪 锌褉懈褋褌褗锌褟 泻褗屑 褔械褌械薪械褌芯.
"袪邪泄褋泻懈褟褌 锌褉芯械泻褌" 械 胁锌械褔邪褌谢褟胁邪褖芯 褉械蟹褞屑械 薪邪 褉械邪谢薪芯褋褌褌邪, 泻芯褟褌芯 褋褌芯懈 蟹邪写 胁谢褞斜胁邪薪械褌芯 懈 薪邪锌褗薪懈褌械 薪懈 写邪 蟹邪芯斜懈褔邪屑械 薪褟泻芯泄 写褉褍谐 芯褋胁械薪 褋械斜械 褋懈.
袣薪懈谐邪褌邪 褋褗褖芯 械 薪械褖芯, 泻芯械褌芯 斜懈 屑芯谐谢芯 写邪 斜褗写械 薪邪褉械褔械薪芯 芯斜芯斜褖械薪懈械 薪邪 屑薪芯谐芯褌芯屑薪芯褌芯 芯锌懈褋邪薪懈械 薪邪 褔芯胁械褕泻懈褌械 胁褗卸写械谢械薪懈褟 蟹邪 褋锌邪褋械薪懈械, 薪邪 芯锌懈褌懈褌械 薪懈 写邪 锌褉械褏胁褗褉谢懈屑 蟹邪写邪褔邪褌邪 薪邪 褋芯斜褋褌胁械薪懈褟 薪懈 卸懈胁芯褌 胁褗褉褏褍 薪褟泻芯泄 写褉褍谐 懈 写邪 褋械 芯褌褌褗褉褋懈屑 芯褌 锌褉懈薪褍写邪褌邪 写邪 褋械 写褗褉卸懈屑 泻邪褌芯 胁褗蟹褉邪褋褌薪懈.
袩芯胁械褔械 薪邪:
August 23, 2019
The way this book captures the lost paradise we (or I at least) are always searching for is magic. Psychology always seems like it can be poetic then isn't, but this is beautifully written and touches on some really complex sensations/experiences that seem like they can't be articulated. Hella recommend if you're moved by and motivated by love, especially the mysterious inexplicable parts of it
September 24, 2019
小谢械写 褌邪蟹懈 泻薪懈谐邪 褋褗屑 褎械薪 薪邪 挟薪谐.
袙褋械泻懈 胁褗蟹锌懈褌邪褌械谢... 锌芯褋褌芯褟薪薪芯 褌褉褟斜胁邪 写邪 褋懈 蟹邪写邪胁邪 胁褗锌褉芯褋邪 写邪谢懈 褋邪屑 胁 褋芯斜褋褌胁械薪懈褟 褋懈 卸懈胁芯褌 懈蟹锌褗谢薪褟胁邪 芯薪芯胁邪, 薪邪 泻芯械褌芯 褍褔懈 写褉褍谐懈褌械. 袙 褋褎械褉邪褌邪 薪邪 锌褋懈褏芯褌械褉邪锌懈褟褌邪 薪邪褍褔懈褏屑械, 褔械 薪邪泄-胁邪卸薪懈 褋邪 薪械 蟹薪邪薪懈褟褌邪 懈 褌械褏薪懈泻邪褌邪, 邪 谢懈褔薪芯褋褌褌邪 薪邪 褌械褉邪锌械胁褌邪. 小褗褖芯褌芯 械 懈 褋 胁褗蟹锌懈褌邪薪懈械褌芯 - 褌芯 锌褉械写锌芯谢邪谐邪 褋邪屑芯胁褗蟹锌懈褌邪薪懈械. 挟薪谐 "袟邪 褉邪蟹胁懈褌懈械褌芯 薪邪 谢懈褔薪芯褋褌褌邪"
袙褋械泻懈 胁褗蟹锌懈褌邪褌械谢... 锌芯褋褌芯褟薪薪芯 褌褉褟斜胁邪 写邪 褋懈 蟹邪写邪胁邪 胁褗锌褉芯褋邪 写邪谢懈 褋邪屑 胁 褋芯斜褋褌胁械薪懈褟 褋懈 卸懈胁芯褌 懈蟹锌褗谢薪褟胁邪 芯薪芯胁邪, 薪邪 泻芯械褌芯 褍褔懈 写褉褍谐懈褌械. 袙 褋褎械褉邪褌邪 薪邪 锌褋懈褏芯褌械褉邪锌懈褟褌邪 薪邪褍褔懈褏屑械, 褔械 薪邪泄-胁邪卸薪懈 褋邪 薪械 蟹薪邪薪懈褟褌邪 懈 褌械褏薪懈泻邪褌邪, 邪 谢懈褔薪芯褋褌褌邪 薪邪 褌械褉邪锌械胁褌邪. 小褗褖芯褌芯 械 懈 褋 胁褗蟹锌懈褌邪薪懈械褌芯 - 褌芯 锌褉械写锌芯谢邪谐邪 褋邪屑芯胁褗蟹锌懈褌邪薪懈械. 挟薪谐 "袟邪 褉邪蟹胁懈褌懈械褌芯 薪邪 谢懈褔薪芯褋褌褌邪"
February 18, 2021
Reading this was a grind and a half. Felt repetitive and a bit difficult to understand at times. Has some good wisdom though
August 29, 2024
"袦芯褟 褋芯斜邪泻邪 写械谢邪械褌 斜芯谢褜薪芯 懈薪邪褔械..."
袙 锌械褉胁褍褞 芯褔械褉械写褜 褏芯褔械褌褋褟 芯褌屑械褌懈褌褜, 褔褌芯 泻薪懈谐邪 褉邪蟹褉褍褕邪械褌 屑薪芯卸械褋褌胁芯 懈谢谢褞蟹懈泄 芯 褔械谢芯胁械褔械褋泻懈褏 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟褏, 懈 褌械屑 褋邪屑褘屑 写械泄褋褌胁懈褌械谢褜薪芯 懈薪芯谐写邪 写械谢邪械褌 芯褔械薪褜 斜芯谢褜薪芯.
袨褋薪芯胁薪邪褟 屑褘褋谢褜 泻薪懈谐懈, 泻芯褌芯褉邪褟 褌褟薪械褌褋褟 写谢懈薪薪芯泄 薪懈褌褜褞 褔械褉械蟹 胁褋械 锌芯胁械褋褌胁芯胁邪薪懈械, 褋芯褋褌芯懈褌 胁 褌芯屑, 褔褌芯 屑褘 写芯谢卸薪褘 锌褉懈薪懈屑邪褌褜 写褉褍谐芯谐芯 褔械谢芯胁械泻邪 泻邪泻 袛褉褍谐芯谐芯 (褋 斜芯谢褜褕芯泄 斜褍泻胁褘). 袙褋械 薪邪褕懈 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟 褝褌芯 "褋芯胁屑械褋褌薪芯-懈薪写懈胁懈写褍邪谢褜薪褘械 褋褌褉邪薪褋褌胁懈褟". 袠 褔褌芯 谢褍褔褕懈泄 锌芯写邪褉芯泻, 泻芯褌芯褉褘泄 屑褘 屑芯卸械屑 褋写械谢邪褌褜 薪邪褕械屑褍 袛褉褍谐芯屑褍 鈥� 褝褌芯 褋写械谢邪褌褜 谢褍褔褕械 褋械斜械, 谢褍褔褕械 锌芯薪褟褌褜 褋械斜褟, 锌褉芯写胁懈薪褍褌褜褋褟 锌芯 锌褍褌懈 褋芯斜褋褌胁械薪薪芯泄 懈薪写懈胁懈写褍邪褑懈懈; 锌芯褌芯屑褍 褔褌芯 薪邪褕懈 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟 芯谐褉邪薪懈褔懈胁邪褞褌褋褟 褍褉芯胁薪械屑 褉邪蟹胁懈褌懈褟 泻邪卸写芯谐芯 懈蟹 褍褔邪褋褌薪懈泻芯胁 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈泄, 懈 薪械 屑芯谐褍褌 褋褌邪褌褜 谢褍褔褕械, 锌芯泻邪 泻邪卸写褘泄 薪械 褋褌邪薪械褌 谢褍褔褕械.
袣薪懈谐邪 胁 褑械谢芯屑 薪邪锌懈褋邪薪邪 芯褔械薪褜 褋泻谢邪写薪芯, 褔懈褌邪械褌褋褟 谢械谐泻芯, 械褋谢懈 胁芯胁褉械屑褟 芯斜褉邪褖邪褌褜褋褟 泻 谐谢芯褋褋邪褉懈褞 挟薪谐懈邪薪褋泻懈褏 褌械褉屑懈薪芯胁 胁 泻芯薪褑械.
袧械 屑芯谐褍 褍斜械卸邪褌褜 芯褌 褋褉邪胁薪械薪懈褟 褝褌芯泄 泻薪懈谐懈 褋 "袠褋泻褍褋褋褌胁芯屑 谢褞斜懈褌褜" 协. 肖褉芯屑屑邪. 袝褋谢懈 褍 肖褉芯屑屑邪 锌芯褋谢械胁泻褍褋懈械 锌芯褋谢械 锌褉芯褔褌械薪懈械 褋泻芯褉械械 泻懈褋谢芯-褋谢邪写泻芯械, 褌芯 褍 褝褌芯泄 泻薪懈谐懈 芯薪芯 谐芯褉褜泻芯械, 褔褌芯 邪卸 褉芯褌 褋胁芯写懈褌. 袩褉械卸写械 褔械屑 薪邪褔懈薪邪褌褜 褔懈褌邪褌褜, 褋褌芯懈褌 斜褘褌褜 谐芯褌芯胁褘屑 泻 褌芯屑褍, 褔褌芯 芯薪邪 褌芯褔薪芯 薪械 褋写械谢邪械褌 胁邪屑 谢械谐褔械 胁 屑芯屑械薪褌械. 协褌芯 薪械 芯斜械蟹斜芯谢懈胁邪褞褖械械, 褝褌芯 芯锌械褉邪褑懈褟 薪邪 芯褌泻褉褘褌芯屑 褋械褉写褑械 斜械蟹 薪邪褉泻芯蟹邪.
袣 锌褉芯褔褌械薪懈褞 褉械泻芯屑械薪写褍褞, 械褋谢懈 谐芯褌芯胁褘 泻 胁褘褕械芯锌懈褋邪薪薪芯屑褍.
袙 锌械褉胁褍褞 芯褔械褉械写褜 褏芯褔械褌褋褟 芯褌屑械褌懈褌褜, 褔褌芯 泻薪懈谐邪 褉邪蟹褉褍褕邪械褌 屑薪芯卸械褋褌胁芯 懈谢谢褞蟹懈泄 芯 褔械谢芯胁械褔械褋泻懈褏 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟褏, 懈 褌械屑 褋邪屑褘屑 写械泄褋褌胁懈褌械谢褜薪芯 懈薪芯谐写邪 写械谢邪械褌 芯褔械薪褜 斜芯谢褜薪芯.
袨褋薪芯胁薪邪褟 屑褘褋谢褜 泻薪懈谐懈, 泻芯褌芯褉邪褟 褌褟薪械褌褋褟 写谢懈薪薪芯泄 薪懈褌褜褞 褔械褉械蟹 胁褋械 锌芯胁械褋褌胁芯胁邪薪懈械, 褋芯褋褌芯懈褌 胁 褌芯屑, 褔褌芯 屑褘 写芯谢卸薪褘 锌褉懈薪懈屑邪褌褜 写褉褍谐芯谐芯 褔械谢芯胁械泻邪 泻邪泻 袛褉褍谐芯谐芯 (褋 斜芯谢褜褕芯泄 斜褍泻胁褘). 袙褋械 薪邪褕懈 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟 褝褌芯 "褋芯胁屑械褋褌薪芯-懈薪写懈胁懈写褍邪谢褜薪褘械 褋褌褉邪薪褋褌胁懈褟". 袠 褔褌芯 谢褍褔褕懈泄 锌芯写邪褉芯泻, 泻芯褌芯褉褘泄 屑褘 屑芯卸械屑 褋写械谢邪褌褜 薪邪褕械屑褍 袛褉褍谐芯屑褍 鈥� 褝褌芯 褋写械谢邪褌褜 谢褍褔褕械 褋械斜械, 谢褍褔褕械 锌芯薪褟褌褜 褋械斜褟, 锌褉芯写胁懈薪褍褌褜褋褟 锌芯 锌褍褌懈 褋芯斜褋褌胁械薪薪芯泄 懈薪写懈胁懈写褍邪褑懈懈; 锌芯褌芯屑褍 褔褌芯 薪邪褕懈 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟 芯谐褉邪薪懈褔懈胁邪褞褌褋褟 褍褉芯胁薪械屑 褉邪蟹胁懈褌懈褟 泻邪卸写芯谐芯 懈蟹 褍褔邪褋褌薪懈泻芯胁 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈泄, 懈 薪械 屑芯谐褍褌 褋褌邪褌褜 谢褍褔褕械, 锌芯泻邪 泻邪卸写褘泄 薪械 褋褌邪薪械褌 谢褍褔褕械.
袣薪懈谐邪 胁 褑械谢芯屑 薪邪锌懈褋邪薪邪 芯褔械薪褜 褋泻谢邪写薪芯, 褔懈褌邪械褌褋褟 谢械谐泻芯, 械褋谢懈 胁芯胁褉械屑褟 芯斜褉邪褖邪褌褜褋褟 泻 谐谢芯褋褋邪褉懈褞 挟薪谐懈邪薪褋泻懈褏 褌械褉屑懈薪芯胁 胁 泻芯薪褑械.
袧械 屑芯谐褍 褍斜械卸邪褌褜 芯褌 褋褉邪胁薪械薪懈褟 褝褌芯泄 泻薪懈谐懈 褋 "袠褋泻褍褋褋褌胁芯屑 谢褞斜懈褌褜" 协. 肖褉芯屑屑邪. 袝褋谢懈 褍 肖褉芯屑屑邪 锌芯褋谢械胁泻褍褋懈械 锌芯褋谢械 锌褉芯褔褌械薪懈械 褋泻芯褉械械 泻懈褋谢芯-褋谢邪写泻芯械, 褌芯 褍 褝褌芯泄 泻薪懈谐懈 芯薪芯 谐芯褉褜泻芯械, 褔褌芯 邪卸 褉芯褌 褋胁芯写懈褌. 袩褉械卸写械 褔械屑 薪邪褔懈薪邪褌褜 褔懈褌邪褌褜, 褋褌芯懈褌 斜褘褌褜 谐芯褌芯胁褘屑 泻 褌芯屑褍, 褔褌芯 芯薪邪 褌芯褔薪芯 薪械 褋写械谢邪械褌 胁邪屑 谢械谐褔械 胁 屑芯屑械薪褌械. 协褌芯 薪械 芯斜械蟹斜芯谢懈胁邪褞褖械械, 褝褌芯 芯锌械褉邪褑懈褟 薪邪 芯褌泻褉褘褌芯屑 褋械褉写褑械 斜械蟹 薪邪褉泻芯蟹邪.
袣 锌褉芯褔褌械薪懈褞 褉械泻芯屑械薪写褍褞, 械褋谢懈 谐芯褌芯胁褘 泻 胁褘褕械芯锌懈褋邪薪薪芯屑褍.
September 30, 2024
Mindenkinek aj谩nlom a k枚nyvet, hiszen ak谩r felismerj眉k, ak谩r nem, emberi term茅szet眉nk m茅ly茅n mindny谩junkat 枚szt枚nszer疟en mozgat a t枚k茅letes, megv谩lt贸 "茅den" keres茅se, 枚lts枚n ez form谩t ak谩r egy vall谩sos vagy spiritu谩lis "M谩sik" keres茅s茅ben, ak谩r a minket szeret艖, romantikus "M谩sik" keres茅s茅ben. Ha meg akarunk valamit sejteni arr贸l, hogy mi茅rt is keresi pszich茅nk annyira az "茅dent", hogyan szabot谩ljuk miatta a kapcsolatainkat, mi茅rt vagyunk hajlamosak projekci贸kra, 茅s ak谩r a v茅gs艖kig is elmenni az elk茅pzel茅seinkkel 茅s az idealiz谩l谩sainkkal, mik枚zben fogalmunk sincs az igazi szeretet艖l (ak谩r 枚nmagunk, ak谩r m谩sik ir谩ny谩ba) akkor ez a k枚nyv egy remek kil谩t贸 茅s olyan filoz贸fiai m茅lys茅gekre is r谩tekinthet眉nk helyenk茅nt, hogy el谩ll a l茅legzet眉nk. Sz谩momra James Hollis 煤jabb k枚nyve ment a kedvenc k枚nyvek polc谩ra, hiszen azont煤l, hogy a sz眉ks茅gletekr艖l 茅s a m谩gikus gondolkod谩sr贸l egy lass煤 aha-茅denkert volt sz谩momra a olvas谩sa, rengeteget adott 枚nmagam m茅lyebb meg茅rt茅s茅hez 茅s az 茅letem - egy tal谩n majd b枚lcsebb - vezet茅s茅hez is.
Garant谩lt, hogy megv谩ltoztat, 茅s a vil谩gban j谩rk谩lva annyi, de annyi mindenre m谩sk茅pp fogsz tekinteni, mire a k枚nyv v茅g茅re 茅rsz.
Garant谩lt, hogy megv谩ltoztat, 茅s a vil谩gban j谩rk谩lva annyi, de annyi mindenre m谩sk茅pp fogsz tekinteni, mire a k枚nyv v茅g茅re 茅rsz.
October 23, 2024
携 薪械 锌芯薪褟谢
袣薪懈谐邪 薪械斜芯谢褜褕邪褟, 薪芯 锌芯褋谢械写薪懈泄 写械褋褟褌芯泻 褋褌褉邪薪懈褑, 锌褉懈蟹薪邪褌褜褋褟, 薪械 芯褋懈谢懈谢. 袠褌邪泻, 芯 褔械屑 芯薪邪
袨褋薪芯胁薪邪褟 懈 谐谢邪胁薪邪褟 屑褘褋谢褜 褋芯褋褌芯懈褌 胁 褌芯屑, 褔褌芯 屑褘 褋褌褉芯懈屑 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟, 锌褉芯械褑懈褉褍褟 薪邪 谢褞写械泄 褌褍 懈褏 屑芯写械谢褜, 泻芯褌芯褉邪褟 褋褍褖械褋褌胁芯胁邪谢邪 屑械卸写褍 胁邪屑懈-褉械斜褢薪泻芯屑 懈 "胁邪卸薪褘屑 写褉褍谐懈屑", 芯斜褘褔薪芯 胁邪褕懈屑懈 褉芯写懈褌械谢褟屑懈. 袩褍褌械屑 邪泻褌懈胁邪褑懈懈 褉邪蟹薪芯谐芯 褉芯写邪 褝薪械褉谐械褌懈褔械褋泻懈褏 泻芯屑锌谢械泻褋芯胁, 蟹邪谢芯卸械薪薪褘褏 胁 薪邪褋 胁芯褋锌懈褌邪薪懈械屑. 袠 谢褍褔褕械械 褔褌芯 屑芯卸薪芯 褋写械谢邪褌褜 写谢褟 写褉褍谐芯谐芯 褔械谢芯胁械泻邪, 褝褌芯 蟹邪薪褟褌褜褋褟 褋胁芯懈屑 写褍褏芯胁薪褘屑 懈 谢懈褔薪芯褋褌薪褘屑 褉芯褋褌芯屑, 胁屑械褋褌芯 胁芯蟹谢芯卸械薪褝薪懈褟 谐褉褍蟹邪 芯褌胁械褌褋褌胁械薪薪芯褋褌懈 蟹邪 褋胁芯褞 卸懈蟹薪褜 薪邪 锌邪褉褌薪褢褉邪.
袠 褝褌芯 胁褋械 械褢 褋芯写械褉卸邪薪懈械 泻芯褌芯褉芯械 褟 胁褘薪械褋, 斜褍泻胁邪谢褜薪芯 胁褋械. 袨褋褌邪谢褜薪褘械 80% 褌械泻褋褌邪 蟹邪锌芯谢薪械薪褘 邪斜褋芯谢褞褌薪芯 薪械褔懈褌邪械屑芯泄 褎懈谢芯褋芯褎褋泻芯泄 懈屑锌褉芯胁懈蟹邪褑懈械泄 薪邪 胁芯谢褜薪褍褞 褌械屑褍, 懈蟹芯斜懈谢褍褞褖械泄 褕褌褍泻邪屑懈 胁褉芯写械 "褝薪械褉谐懈褟 写褍褕懈", "薪褍屑械薪芯蟹薪芯", 懈 写邪卸械 "褌褉邪薪褋械薪写械薪褌薪褘泄 泻芯褋屑懈褔械褋泻懈泄 谐械褉芯懈蟹屑".
携 写芯斜褉芯褋芯胁械褋褌薪芯 锌褉芯褔褢谢 胁褋械 芯斜蟹芯褉褘 薪邪 泻薪懈谐褍 薪邪 褉褍褋褋泻芯屑 褟蟹褘泻械, 懈, 胁懈写懈屑芯, 薪懈泻褌芯 薪械 胁褘薪械褋 写谢褟 褋械斜褟 褔械谐芯-褌芯 写褉褍谐芯谐芯, 锌芯屑懈屑芯 邪胁褕械芯锌懈褋邪薪薪芯谐芯. 袪邪蟹褍屑械械褌褋褟, 锌褟褌褜 蟹胁械蟹写 褋褌邪胁褟褌 胁褋械.
校 屑械薪褟 褋械褉褜褢蟹薪芯械 胁锌械褔邪褌谢械薪懈械, 褔褌芯 邪胁褌芯褉褍 锌谢邪褌懈谢懈 蟹邪 泻芯谢懈褔械褋褌胁芯 褋褌褉芯泻.
袧械 褋褌芯懈褌 锌芯褉褌褉邪褔械薪薪芯谐芯 胁褉械屑械薪懈
袣薪懈谐邪 薪械斜芯谢褜褕邪褟, 薪芯 锌芯褋谢械写薪懈泄 写械褋褟褌芯泻 褋褌褉邪薪懈褑, 锌褉懈蟹薪邪褌褜褋褟, 薪械 芯褋懈谢懈谢. 袠褌邪泻, 芯 褔械屑 芯薪邪
袨褋薪芯胁薪邪褟 懈 谐谢邪胁薪邪褟 屑褘褋谢褜 褋芯褋褌芯懈褌 胁 褌芯屑, 褔褌芯 屑褘 褋褌褉芯懈屑 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟, 锌褉芯械褑懈褉褍褟 薪邪 谢褞写械泄 褌褍 懈褏 屑芯写械谢褜, 泻芯褌芯褉邪褟 褋褍褖械褋褌胁芯胁邪谢邪 屑械卸写褍 胁邪屑懈-褉械斜褢薪泻芯屑 懈 "胁邪卸薪褘屑 写褉褍谐懈屑", 芯斜褘褔薪芯 胁邪褕懈屑懈 褉芯写懈褌械谢褟屑懈. 袩褍褌械屑 邪泻褌懈胁邪褑懈懈 褉邪蟹薪芯谐芯 褉芯写邪 褝薪械褉谐械褌懈褔械褋泻懈褏 泻芯屑锌谢械泻褋芯胁, 蟹邪谢芯卸械薪薪褘褏 胁 薪邪褋 胁芯褋锌懈褌邪薪懈械屑. 袠 谢褍褔褕械械 褔褌芯 屑芯卸薪芯 褋写械谢邪褌褜 写谢褟 写褉褍谐芯谐芯 褔械谢芯胁械泻邪, 褝褌芯 蟹邪薪褟褌褜褋褟 褋胁芯懈屑 写褍褏芯胁薪褘屑 懈 谢懈褔薪芯褋褌薪褘屑 褉芯褋褌芯屑, 胁屑械褋褌芯 胁芯蟹谢芯卸械薪褝薪懈褟 谐褉褍蟹邪 芯褌胁械褌褋褌胁械薪薪芯褋褌懈 蟹邪 褋胁芯褞 卸懈蟹薪褜 薪邪 锌邪褉褌薪褢褉邪.
袠 褝褌芯 胁褋械 械褢 褋芯写械褉卸邪薪懈械 泻芯褌芯褉芯械 褟 胁褘薪械褋, 斜褍泻胁邪谢褜薪芯 胁褋械. 袨褋褌邪谢褜薪褘械 80% 褌械泻褋褌邪 蟹邪锌芯谢薪械薪褘 邪斜褋芯谢褞褌薪芯 薪械褔懈褌邪械屑芯泄 褎懈谢芯褋芯褎褋泻芯泄 懈屑锌褉芯胁懈蟹邪褑懈械泄 薪邪 胁芯谢褜薪褍褞 褌械屑褍, 懈蟹芯斜懈谢褍褞褖械泄 褕褌褍泻邪屑懈 胁褉芯写械 "褝薪械褉谐懈褟 写褍褕懈", "薪褍屑械薪芯蟹薪芯", 懈 写邪卸械 "褌褉邪薪褋械薪写械薪褌薪褘泄 泻芯褋屑懈褔械褋泻懈泄 谐械褉芯懈蟹屑".
携 写芯斜褉芯褋芯胁械褋褌薪芯 锌褉芯褔褢谢 胁褋械 芯斜蟹芯褉褘 薪邪 泻薪懈谐褍 薪邪 褉褍褋褋泻芯屑 褟蟹褘泻械, 懈, 胁懈写懈屑芯, 薪懈泻褌芯 薪械 胁褘薪械褋 写谢褟 褋械斜褟 褔械谐芯-褌芯 写褉褍谐芯谐芯, 锌芯屑懈屑芯 邪胁褕械芯锌懈褋邪薪薪芯谐芯. 袪邪蟹褍屑械械褌褋褟, 锌褟褌褜 蟹胁械蟹写 褋褌邪胁褟褌 胁褋械.
校 屑械薪褟 褋械褉褜褢蟹薪芯械 胁锌械褔邪褌谢械薪懈械, 褔褌芯 邪胁褌芯褉褍 锌谢邪褌懈谢懈 蟹邪 泻芯谢懈褔械褋褌胁芯 褋褌褉芯泻.
袧械 褋褌芯懈褌 锌芯褉褌褉邪褔械薪薪芯谐芯 胁褉械屑械薪懈
June 21, 2022
4.5 stars
Super-helpful explanation/articulation of Jungian ideas about projection, schema and individuation -- especially as they relate to romantic love and its development/usefulness. I'll go back and review those parts for sure.
The ideas about spirituality and religion are provocative and perhaps useful. The hubris of the writing bothered me more here than when talking about interpersonal love and personal growth -- identifying the author's theories as "facts" that others just can't seem to handle. Sigh...
The discussion in chapter 5 "Eros in Organization" suffers from god-awful class politics. Despi te the author's father's apparent work on the factory floor, the author's social circles seem comprised of CEOs and corporate VPs and all the thinking about organization assumes that really business cultures are just trickle down personal development of the bosses. A dialogue between Johnson's ideas about "the projection of parental authority onto an employer" with Marxist notions of workers' journey from being a "class in itself" to becoming a "class for itself" would be fruitful.
Super-helpful explanation/articulation of Jungian ideas about projection, schema and individuation -- especially as they relate to romantic love and its development/usefulness. I'll go back and review those parts for sure.
The ideas about spirituality and religion are provocative and perhaps useful. The hubris of the writing bothered me more here than when talking about interpersonal love and personal growth -- identifying the author's theories as "facts" that others just can't seem to handle. Sigh...
The discussion in chapter 5 "Eros in Organization" suffers from god-awful class politics. Despi te the author's father's apparent work on the factory floor, the author's social circles seem comprised of CEOs and corporate VPs and all the thinking about organization assumes that really business cultures are just trickle down personal development of the bosses. A dialogue between Johnson's ideas about "the projection of parental authority onto an employer" with Marxist notions of workers' journey from being a "class in itself" to becoming a "class for itself" would be fruitful.
February 12, 2022
袣薪懈谐褍 褔懈褌邪褌褜 锌芯褉芯泄 斜褘谢芯 褋谢芯卸薪芯 (褍 邪胁褌芯褉邪 薪械 褋邪屑褘泄 锌褉芯褋褌芯泄 褋褌懈谢褜 懈蟹谢芯卸械薪懈褟, 锌芯褉芯泄 芯褔械薪褜 屑薪芯谐芯 褌械褉屑懈薪芯胁 懈蟹 锌褋懈褏芯邪薪邪谢懈蟹邪), 薪芯 屑薪械 芯薪邪 芯褔械薪褜 锌芯薪褉邪胁懈谢邪褋褜, 褌.泻. 褋芯写械褉卸邪薪懈械 薪邪锌懈褋邪薪薪芯谐芯 褌芯褔薪芯 褋褌芯懈褌 褌芯谐芯 褔褌芯斜褘 锌褉懈谢芯卸懈褌褜 褍褋懈谢懈褟 懈 锌褉芯褔懈褌邪褌褜 褝褌褍 泻薪懈谐褍. 袨 褔械屑 卸械 泻薪懈谐邪? 袝褋谢懈 泻芯褉芯褌泻芯, 薪邪胁械褉薪芯械 芯斜 懈谢谢褞蟹懈褟褏 胁 谢褞斜胁懈, 邪 懈屑械薪薪芯 芯斜 懈谢谢褞蟹懈懈, 褔褌芯 薪械泻褌芯 屑芯卸械褌 懈褋褑械谢懈褌褜 褌械斜褟 懈 锌芯屑芯褔褜 褌械斜械 褋褌邪褌褜 褋芯斜芯泄, 芯斜褉械褋褌懈 褋屑褘褋谢 卸懈蟹薪懈 懈 褋褌邪褌褜 褋褔邪褋褌谢懈胁褘屑/褋褔邪褋褌谢懈胁芯泄, 胁 芯斜褖械屑 薪邪泄褌懈 褝写邪泻芯谐芯 袛芯斜褉芯谐芯 袙芯谢褕械斜薪懈泻邪, 泻芯褌芯褉褘泄 锌褉懈写褢褌, 锌芯屑芯卸械褌, 蟹邪褖懈褌懈褌, 褋锌邪褋褢褌, 褉械褕懈褌 胁褋械 锌褉芯斜谢械屑褘. 效褌芯 卸械 胁 写邪薪薪芯屑 褋谢褍褔邪械 写械谢邪褌褜? 袙蟹褟褌褜 薪邪 褋械斜褟 芯褌胁械褌褋褌胁械薪薪芯褋褌褜 蟹邪 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈械 泻 褋胁芯械屑褍 斜械褋褋芯蟹薪邪褌械谢褜薪芯屑褍 屑邪褌械褉懈邪谢褍, 泻芯褌芯褉褘泄 懈 锌谢芯写懈褌 胁褋械 褌械 锌褉芯械泻褑懈懈, 屑褘褋谢懈, 写械泄褋褌胁懈褟 懈 卸械谢邪薪懈褟. 袧芯 褝褌芯, 泻芯薪械褔薪芯 卸械, 褌褉械斜褍械褌 薪械屑邪谢芯 屑褍卸械褋褌胁邪. 袙 芯斜褖械屑, 泻薪懈谐褍 褋褌芯懈褌 褌芯褔薪芯 锌褉芯褔懈褌邪褌褜 胁褋械屑, 泻褌芯 锌褘褌邪械褌褋褟 褉邪蟹芯斜褉邪褌褜褋褟 胁 褋械斜械, 芯褌薪芯褕械薪懈褟褏 褋 锌邪褉褌薪械褉芯屑.
March 5, 2023
Another banger from Mr. Hollis. I love Love*
* This kind: 鈥淭he love I speak of here is heroic; it is freeing to both parties, transformative rather than regressive. As finite beings, we are seldom up to its demands, but when we are, our journeys take on depth and substance.鈥�
My relationship tome power ranking is now: Eden Project takes home gold, Stephen Mitchell鈥檚 Can Love Last with silver, and bronze for Esther Perel鈥檚 Mating in Captivity.
* This kind: 鈥淭he love I speak of here is heroic; it is freeing to both parties, transformative rather than regressive. As finite beings, we are seldom up to its demands, but when we are, our journeys take on depth and substance.鈥�
My relationship tome power ranking is now: Eden Project takes home gold, Stephen Mitchell鈥檚 Can Love Last with silver, and bronze for Esther Perel鈥檚 Mating in Captivity.
March 18, 2025
鈥淚t takes so damn much courage to be solely responsible for ourselves. And it is so often lonely.鈥�
^ this captures the overarching theme of this one. Boiled down it鈥檚 do the work yourself and don鈥檛 project onto others. But man I wish it was that easy! A really profound read that had me looking inward almost every page. A reflective read to say the least.
^ this captures the overarching theme of this one. Boiled down it鈥檚 do the work yourself and don鈥檛 project onto others. But man I wish it was that easy! A really profound read that had me looking inward almost every page. A reflective read to say the least.
February 17, 2025
鈥淲e are meant to grieve loss, of course, but too often the overvaluation of the Other is achieved only through the devaluation of oneself鈥�
鈥淗ow could I do that to you, while professing to love you? How can you do that to me, while professing to love me?鈥�
馃敟
鈥淗ow could I do that to you, while professing to love you? How can you do that to me, while professing to love me?鈥�
馃敟
August 19, 2020
James Hollis consistently offers so many enriching insights, and many are to be found in this book. There is a certain unevenness to this volume, however, which distracted me from the chapter on the corporate other to the end.
January 16, 2025
袠蟹谢芯卸械薪褘 褎褍薪写邪屑械薪褌邪谢褜薪褘械 锌褉懈薪褑懈锌褘 褋 褌芯褔泻懈 蟹褉械薪懈褟 挟薪谐懈邪薪褋泻芯泄 锌褋懈褏芯谢芯谐懈懈. 袛褍屑邪褞 褟 屑薪芯谐芯械 锌褉芯锌褍褋褌懈谢 懈 斜褍写褍 锌械褉械褔懈褌褘胁邪褌褜.
January 23, 2025
"The inner marriage is all very well, but it doesn't warm my feet at night."
February 18, 2025
袛褉褍谐邪 泻薪懈谐邪 啸芯谢谢褨褋邪, 屑械薪褨 写褍卸械 蟹邪褏芯写懈褌褜 泄芯谐芯 褋褌懈谢褜 锌芯写邪褔褨 褨薪褎芯褉屑邪褑褨褩. 笑褨泻邪胁芯, 屑褨褋褑褟屑懈 斜芯谢褟褔械 - 褉械泻芯屑械薪写褍褞. 孝邪泻芯卸 褉芯蟹泻褉懈胁邪褦 褌械屑褍 薪械 谢懈褕械 胁 泻芯薪褌械泻褋褌褨 褉芯屑邪薪褌懈褔薪懈褏 褋褌芯褋褍薪泻褨胁, 邪 泄 褉芯斜芯褌懈. 袦械薪褨 蟹写邪褦褌褜褋褟 褖芯 斜褨谢褜褕褨褋褌褜 褌械褉邪锌械胁褌褨胁 胁卸械 褉芯蟹薪械褋谢懈 褑懈褌邪褌懈 蟹 泻薪懈谐懈 锌芯 褋芯褑 屑械褉械卸邪屑, 褌芯屑褍 斜邪谐邪褌芯 褔芯谐芯 斜褍写械 蟹薪邪泄芯屑芯)
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