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151 pages, Paperback
First published January 6, 2005
"I’m a dog who pretends to have a pedigree."
Genviève Vaudoyer and her father, Jean-Louis Vaudoyer, were the first French bourgeois family to invite my mother to their home. Genviève Vaudoyer introduced my mother to Arletty, who also lived on the Quai de Conti in the building next door to number 15. Arletty took my mother under her wing.Arletty, if you didn’t know, was a renowned French actress. She was luminous in Marcel Carnés (1945), considered by many critics the best French film of the twentieth century. After the war she was tried for treason, owing to her romance with a German Luftwaffe officer. (“My heart is French but my ass is international,� she said in her defense.)
the actress Dita Parlo, who had starred in L’Atlante, and her lover Dr. Fuchs, one of the directors of the so-called Otto Bureau, the most important of the black market “purchasing services,� located at 6 Rue Adolphe-Yvon in the 16th arrondissement.Just to expand a bit, the Otto Bureau specialized in buying up from black market dealers the property of Jews who had been deported and selling it at a profit in Germany. One of the largest buyers was the Abwehr (German Intelligence) and at the height of the Occupation, the Otto Bureau employed some 400 people.
which he’d stashed in a garage in Neuilly. [It] had been commandeered in June by the Vichy militia, the Milice, and it was in that Ford, its bullet-riddled body impounded as evidence by the investigating detectives, that Georges Mandel had been assassinated.Called “the first resister� by Winston Churchill, who would have preferred him to Charles de Gaulle as the leader of the Free French, Mandel had chosen to continue the fight against the Germans from North Africa (as opposed to London) after the Fall of France. Arrested with several others in Morocco in 1941, he was deported to a German concentration camp and subsequently returned to Paris as a hostage. The Milice got hold of him during a transfer from one prison to another and executed him in the Forest of Fontainebleau in 1944.
She was a pretty girl with an arid heart. Her fiancé had given her a chow-chow, but she didn’t take care of it and left it with various people, as she would later do with me. The chow-chow killed itself by leaping from a window. The dog appears in two or three photos, and I have to admit that he touches me deeply and that I feel a great kinship with him.His father hung out on the Boulevard Saint Michel in the Latin Quarter, but he was not a student. “His Latin Quarter was the one of Violette Nozière. He must have run across her many times on the boulevard.� Violette Nozière was a dissolute schoolgirl in the 1930s who supported herself and her ne’er do well boyfriend through prostitution and petty thefts. Her parents caught on, so she poisoned them, but somehow managed to avoid the guillotine and ultimately married and raised a family. Claude Chabrol made a film about her, Violette, starring Isabelle Huppert.
I felt unburdened for the first time in my life. The threat that had weighed on me for so many years, kept me on edge, had dissolved in the Paris air I had set sail before the worm-rathe wharf could collapse. It was time.
“Que el lector me disculpe por todos estos nombres y los que vendrán a continuación. Soy un perro que hace como que tiene pedigrí.�
“Y van sucediéndose acontecimientos mínimos que le resbalan a uno sin dejarle demasiadas huellas. Uno tiene la impresión de que todavía no puede vivir su vida de verdad y de que es un pasajero clandestino. Me vuelve el recuerdo de algunos retazos de esa vida de contrabando�.
“Dejando aparte a mi hermano Rudy y su muerte, creo que nada de cuanto cuente aquí me afecta muy hondo. Escribo estas páginas como se levanta acta o como se redacta un currículum vitae, a título documental y, seguramente, para liquidar de una vez una vida que no era la mía�.
“Voy a seguir desgranando esos años sin nostalgia, pero con voz presurosa. No tengo la culpa de que las palabras se me apelotonen. Tengo que darme prisa o se me acabará el valor�.
I hope I can be forgiven all these names, and the others to follow. I'm a dog who pretends to have a pedigree. My mother and father didn't belong to any particular milieu. So aimless were they, so unsettled, that I'm straining to find a few markers, a few beacons in this quicksand, as one might attempt to fill in with half-smudged letters a census form or administrative questionnaire.It seems that for most of his youth, Modiano was sent to cheap boarding schools in the provinces. His father, who has married a person whom he calls, simply, "the ersatz Mylene Demongeot" after her resemblance to that French actress, sees him at long intervals, and his new wife calls the police on him when he dares to make a visit (though he lives only one floor beneath him).