This was one of the first books I read after reverting to Islam in 2003 and I still love it today. It's a beautiful and inspirational guide for any Muslim woman...
When I first saw this book on my friend's bookshelf, I immediately know that I want to own all the series (The Ideal Muslim, The Ideal Muslimah, and The Ideal Muslim Society). Unfortunately, it is nowhere to be found in Indonesia and even not in Book Depository and the only way to get it online I have to pay a very expensive shipping cost. So I use the jasa titip aka personal shopper service in an app I've developed with my previous office, (who knew I would very grateful to develop it!) and I asked an Indonesian traveler who will do his Umra that time to Saudi Arabia and the two books (The Ideal Muslim and Muslimah) arrived safely, with cheaper price. I haven't bought The Ideal Muslim Society one because it would be very expensive haha. 鈥� After reading both of them (so my review will cover both sides), here are the reviews:
Comprehensive Both books cover how Muslim should behave according to Islam, divided into ten chapters: to our Lord, our selves, our parents, our spouses, our children, our children-in-law, our relatives, our neighbours, our friends and brothers/sisters in Islam, and our community or society. The 鈥渢o our children-in-law鈥� part is on the newer and revised editions, so maybe you won鈥檛 find it in every copy. Every chapters divided to smaller sections, such as 鈥淭he believing woman is alert鈥�, 鈥淪he (Muslim woman) regularly prays five times a day鈥�, in the chapter 鈥淭he Muslim Woman and Her Lord鈥�.
There are parts that every Muslim should have known, such as worship Allah, regularly prays five times a day, pays zakah, fasts in Ramadan (and another nafl fasts), Hajj, and so on. There are also parts that I was surprised to find, such as how Muslims should mind their mind, body, and soul, because in my social media feed, all those Muslim accounts mostly discuss about soul (power of ikhlas, etc), marriage (the most popular topic), etc. They rarely talk about mind and body. This book emphasise the importance of taking care of your body, cleanliness, and good appearance (within the Islamic rule). The book also talks about how we should never stop studying, both the deen or the 鈥渟ecular鈥� knowledge that will benefit society.
Full of stories One thing I never expect from the books are the stories. Other than Quran verses and popular hadiths, there are also many stories that support the topic discussed that actually interesting and surprising in a way. One of the stories I want people to read is this one, that is in the section 鈥淪he (Muslim woman) may attend the jama鈥檃h prayer in the mosque鈥�.
Wa鈥檌l al-Kindi reported that a woman was assaulted by a man in the darkness of the early morning, whilst she was on her way to the mosque. She shouted to a passer-by for help, then a large group of people came by, and she called to them for help. They seized the man to whom she had first called for help, and her attacker ran away. They brought the (innocent) man to her, and he said, 鈥淚 am the one who answered you call for help; the other man got away.鈥�
They brought him to the Messenger of Allah and told him that this man had assaulted the woman, and they had seized him whilst he was running away.
The man said, 鈥淚 was the one who answered her call for help against her attacker, but these people seized me and brought me here.鈥�
The woman said, 鈥淗e is lying; he is the one who attacked me.鈥�
The Messenger of Allah said: 鈥淭ake him away and stone him.鈥�
Then a man stood up and said, 鈥淒o not stone him, stone me, for I am the one who did it.鈥�
Now the Messenger of Allah had three people before him: the one who had assaulted the woman, the one who had answered her cries for help and the woman herself. He told the attacker, 鈥淎s for you, Allah has forgiven you,鈥� and he spoke kind words to the one who had helped the woman.
鈥楿mar said, 鈥淪tone the one who has admitted to the crime of adultery.鈥�
The Messenger of Allah said: 鈥淣o, for he has repented to Allah鈥� 鈥擨 think he said, 鈥渨ith an act of repentance so great that if the people of Madinah were to repent in this way, it would be accepted from them.鈥�
Seems relevant to current issues, right? Where women are heard and not questioned 鈥渨hy are you in the darkness? what clothes are you wearing? etc etc鈥�. There are many more interesting stories here for many different topics, but you should read it yourself.
Also, what鈥檚 with the writing of hadith that requires everything to be in one paragraph?? It鈥檚 confusing.
Difference between Muslim and Muslimah While I agree that men and women have different physical condition, needs, obligations, and rights, I can鈥檛 help but notice the difference between the two books in the the chapter about spouses. I read The Ideal Muslim in English Edition 4 (2005) and The Ideal Muslimah in English Edition 6 (2005). While the other chapters relatively balanced, this one chapter is unfortunately not.
I really like the part of 鈥淪he (Muslim woman) chooses a good husband鈥�, which emphasises the right of woman to choose a man for whom her heart may be filled with love and respect, and who is pleasing to her both in his appearance and in his conduct (I am tired of those posts that implies chemistry aren鈥檛 important in choosing future spouse, because what鈥檚 important is religion and character, as if holistic view is not important). However, noticing 鈥淭he Muslim Man and His Wife鈥� has 9 sections spread in 23 pages, while 鈥淭he Muslim Woman and Her Husband鈥� is in 59 pages divided into 19 sections such as 鈥淪he (Muslim woman) fills her husband鈥檚 heart with joy鈥�, 鈥淪he shares his joys and sorrow鈥� (and there is no male counterpart) made me upset a bit. It is as if wife has sooo many responsibilities in making her husband happy, while the husband only has to 鈥渦nderstand his wife and respect her feelings鈥�, as if they don鈥檛 have to share her joys and sorrows. I really hope it is revised in later editions because it seems so unbalanced.
Western obsession The book made many references to 鈥渃orrupted western values鈥� that corrupts many Muslims nowadays. Some of them are right, but the author referenced it so many times it almost funny and made me laugh and think 鈥淚s he obsessed with Western people?鈥�. I mean, not every so-called Western values are bad, right? I admire their independence, hard-working, and appreciation of individuality. The author wrote it in a way that if you are an alien from another planet, you鈥檒l think Western values are complete evil. However, if someone from the Western world made a praise about Islam, he will referenced it immediately. That鈥檚 why I said it鈥檚 almost funny.
鈥�
That being said, with its plus and minus, the books are something Muslims should read. I suggest people to read both because I think the author put too much attention to The Ideal Muslimah. I really hope there is another edition that is written by female scholars to make it balanced.
a literal must read for every muslimah, specifically the teenage muslimahs 馃
"The Muslim woman is convinced that whatever befalls her in life could not have been avoided, and whatever does not befall her could not have been made to happen."
"My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I will love him. When I love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes, and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him; and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it."
I would say this book is definitely a keeper. It's translated to be an easy read for Muslimahs striving to better themselves. It covers all aspects of a woman's life, beginning with her relationship with the Lord, and moving on the family, neighbors, and society at large. The author uses beautiful verses from the Quran and hadiths to support a point.
At times, I found the explanations to be repetitive, especially when it was common sense. Perhaps the repetitiveness was to reiterate how easy it is to be a good Muslimah and to put greater emphasis on what is an 'Ideal Muslimah.'
Overall, there were more positives than negatives; I learned much and have much to practice on.
Questions were raised while reading the book, things like women鈥檚 main role to take care of the family, her deep faith and how it withstand being tested, her role in society especially confronted with modern (Westernised?) interpretation of the role. Message is read differently nowadays, cultural might play a role. The intertwining influences between what was taught at school, how one was raised, society, culture, evolution - all determines how one integrate the message, and to decide on whether to accept or challenge it. The book really got me thinking hard.
If women are the main residents of hell, this book will explain why. Women are practically required to do everything and anything for everyone in their life, except financially support themselves. Oh, what a burden to have a job, thanks but I like having my own money and not relying on anyone! Women are required to be the slaves of their husbands, their parents, their husbands parents, their children. If their kid grows up to be a brat, it's because the mom is a brat! If your husband cheats on you, it is because you did not beautify yourself enough or take care of him as you should. If a man sees you and does something haram, it's your fault for being TOO beautiful! No one takes on the responsibility of the Ummah's sins like a woman does. While a husband is above a woman, it is the husbands mother who is above him, so ladies - don't move in with your in-laws. Also I absolutely detest the idea that all children are born Muslims but their parents "corrupt" them into non-Muslims. Yes, I really bet that if you left a child to their own devices they'd suddenly believe in 1 god, pray 5 salat a day, fast for Ramadan and make pilgrimage to mecca not to mention recite the Shahada in arabic.... Also there is a lot of unnecessary criticism of western culture, cause if you can't defend yourself you might as well as take the limelight off. Anyway, why then do Arabs flock to western societies if we're so detestable? Personally I can't stand opinionated pieces, but what can I expect...
"Keeping dogs in the house after the Western fashion, spoiling them, manufacturing special food and shampoo for them, setting up "beauty parlours" for them and all the other things on which people in the West and the U.S. spend millions upon millions of dollars annually. . . All of this has nothing whatsoever to do with Islam and its tolerant customs. The psychological state of Westerners, and the dry, materialistic life they lead, had driven them to these extremes in caring for their dogs, to compensate for the lack of human love in their social lives. But the social life of Islam is filled with human emotion, so Muslims have no need to go to such absurd extremes." This is a small example of some of the absurdity in this book.
Essentially an Ideal Muslimah is a woman who is quiet and reserved, shy, friendly and likable, gentle and sensitive, humble and modest, feminine, lighthearted, obedient, who constantly works to maintain her beauty (but only shares her beauty with her immediate family), constantly serves others (husband, children, family, neighbors, then friends and community). Her home is always open to unwelcomed guests. She is perfect in her words and her manners. She avoids seeking fame or recognition. She tolerates every injustice against her, is unyielding patient with those she serves. She makes herself available to her husband to every degree in trying to fulfill his wishes and desires. She is cheerful and optimistic. She doesn't spend her husbands money on herself, or even her own, and prefers to give it to charity (and giving her money to her husband or children is the best charity). She is never jealous, envious, arrogant, prideful, argumentative, or selfish. She doesn't gossip, or spy on the business of others or seek out their faults. She doesn't talk too much. She doesn't raise her voice, or speak ill words. She never angers. "The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of Islam should be very serious in her attitude, concentrating on noble aims and shunning frivolities. But this should not stop her from having fun occasionally, in ways that are permitted by Islam" Oh gosh! "The true Muslim woman prefers hunger to ignoring the rights of this guest" She's practically saintly! Too bad there wasn't a chapter on dealing with co-wives, that would have been more entertaining.
One note on some strange happenings. A woman goes to hell after being a good devout Muslim because she has "a sharp tongue" and a prostitute goes to heaven because she gave water to a dog once? Seems to me that God's ways are so mysterious as to not really matter, you may or may not get on his good side, and you can't possibly hope to know that before destiny is fulfilled.
Anyway, it's not the worst thing I've ever read because at least it has substance and does have a rather nice chapter reminding the Ummah of all the women who made jihad along side Muhammad.
I just finished this book and it made me fall in love deeper with my religion subhanAllah , I would honestly recommend it to very women : Muslim , non Muslim , young , old , married , unmarried ect鈥� how can you tell me that us , Muslim women , are oppressed when in reality we have the most freedom subhanAllah, it is also a very educative book if you wanna learn about the great Muslim women who existed , how they acted , you should read that book it will open your eyes and it鈥檚 telling you what you should aimed to be just like our mothers Aisha 毓囟賷 丕賱賱賴 毓賳賴丕 or Zaynab 毓囟賷 丕賱賱賴 毓賳賴丕 and many more that it would take me more than a day to write about.
Jika ditanya buku apa terbaik pernah aku baca tentang wanita Muslim, memang buku ini jawapannya - The Ideal Muslimah, tulisan Dr Muhammad Ali al-Hashimi. Dari prakata hingga ke helaian akhir, buku ini amat memuaskan. Boleh aku katakan, buku ini patut dijadikan teman pendamping sehingga bila isinya telah kau hadam lunyai dan tersebati menjadi amalan dan diri kau. Buku-buku yang bagus selalunya akan buat kau terduduk, terhenyak, lalu remuk, hancur. Tapi di saat itu juga membina kembali jalan-jalan untuk kau lalui. Ia berat kerana perasaan yang kau tanggung ketika membacanya, bukan kerana patah katanya yang sukar difahami. RM70 yang aku hulur, yang membuat tangan terasa berat ketika membayar buku ini, dan keputusan melepaskan 3 buku lain kerana buku ini, sekarang terbalas. Bahkan jauh lebih berharga dari sekadar RM70.
In defining what an ideal Muslimah's character would look like, there are a few key attributes which separate her from the average woman. The Qur'an also defines specific characteristics that distinguish her from her male counterpart in the way that she worships her Lord and she lives her life. Entailed in this book are verses from the Qur鈥檃n and examples from Prophet Muhammad (blessing and peace of Allah be upon him) to help guide the Muslim woman towards the righteous path of Allah. This book is truly a precious gift to give your sister, daughter, wife or friend.
A refreshing and (in my opinion) necessary read for all muslim women. It serves as a stern- yet non-judgemental- reminder of how we should live our lives. It's a guide to be the most excellent forms of ourselves that we're able to do. Filled with reminders about our purpose on earth and how we should put Allah first in everything that we do. I love it.
For the first time in history, women were to be the ones issuing instructions, whereas everywhere else except in Islam they had been the ones to receive instructions. Islam gave women a high social standing when it gave her this great social responsibility of enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil.
A comprehensive, phenomenal book! The author has similar books on IDEAL MUSLIM, & IDEAL SOCIETY. In this one, he sliced through each aspect of life, and dived deep into references from Prophet&Companions , presenting them eloquently, for uplifting the women of today from crippling pettiness, towards the exalted standards of Allah-azz wa jal.
鈥淎 woman does not keep quiet about any deviance, weakness or negligence in her family or home, unless she is lacking in religion, her character is weak, and her understanding is incomplete.鈥�
The book is divided into 10 chapters, each dealing with some aspect of women鈥檚 life.
1: Woman And Her Lord. -how and why accept will of Allah, repent, sense of responsibility, main concern is pleasure of Allah, understanding the meaning of being servant of only Allah, working for glorification of His name, loyalty only to him, obedience only to him鈥�
2: Woman And Her Own Self -Body : food, exercise, clothing, hygiene, appearance, preventing extremes -Mind : pursuing knowledge, what she needs to know, women achievements in knowledge. -Soul : purification of soul/heart, what is righteous company, duaa
3: Woman And Her Parents 4: Woman And Her Husband 5: Woman And Her Children 6: Woman And Her In Laws 7: Woman And Her Relatives 8: Woman And Her Neighbours 9: Woman And Her Friends, Sisters 10: Woman And Her Community/Society
Each chapter is heavily referenced, and expands upto 300 ahadith references, all unique, least repetitive.
Author also charts a contrast between a Muslim women鈥檚 exalted standards and limping standards of Western society due to their necrotic philosophies.
**鈥淚 wish that our country was like the lands of the Muslims, where modesty, chastity and purity are like a garment. Servants and slaves there live the best life, where they are treated like the children of the house and no-one harms their honour. Yes, it is a source of shame for England that we make our daughters examples of promiscuity by mixing so much with men. Why do we not try to pursue that which makes a girl do work that agrees with her natural temperament, by staying at home, and leaving men's work for the men, to keep her honour safe.鈥� -Anna Ward**
There was much new content for me, reminders, new examples and practical steps from lives of Companions, in chapters of Husband, Neighbours, Society, Relatives. Specially the manners and etiquettes to live and improve the society!
鈥淭he one who spreads news of scandal throughout the community is like the one who actually commits the scandalous deed. Both are equal, there is no difference鈥�.
Jabir (RAA) said: "I came to the Prophet (PBUH) and knocked at the door. He said, `Who is this?' I answered, `Me,' and he said, `Me? Me?' as if he disliked this answer."
A book to keep in home library, physical copy.
鈥斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌� Some excerpts:
鈥淔rench scholar Gustave le Bon, in the late nineteenth century and early twentieth century, stated in his book "The Psychology of Peoples" that woman had never been equal to man except in periods of decline; this comment came in his refutation of demands that women should be made equal with men by giving them the same right to vote.鈥�
鈥淧rophet (PBUH) cursed men who act effeminate and women who act like men, and said, `Expel them from your houses.' The Prophet (PBUH) expelled So-and-so [a man], and Abu Bakr expelled So-and-so [a woman]鈥�
She rejects, with fierce pride, that false "progress" that calls for women to come out uncovered, adorned with make up, to work alongside men in offices. With this wise, balanced, honourable attitude, she is in fact doing a great service to her society and nation, by calling for an end to this ridiculous competition of women with men.
When a girl reaches a certain age - usually seventeen years old - neither her father, her brother nor any of her male relatives are obliged to support her. She has to look for work to support herself, and to save whatever she can to offer to her future husband. If she gets married, she has to help her husband with the expenses of the home and children.
The alert Muslim woman, no matter where she lives, examines every custom that is followed in her society and measures it against the rulings, values and principles of Islam. Whatever is compatible with Islam, she accepts, but whatever contradicts Islam, she rejects outright, whether it is a custom relating to betrothal and marriage, or in family or social life. What matters is whether the custom is compatible with Islam, not how widely it is spread among people.
鈥淚 never saw two women more generous than `A'ishah and Asma', but their ways of being generous were different. `A'ishah would accumulate things and then share them out, whilst Asma' would never keep anything until the next day."
"Every morning that the servants of Allah (SWT) get up, two angels come down. One of them says, `O Allah, give compensation to the one who spends,' and the other says, `O Allah, cause loss to the one who is stingy.'鈥�
A man praised another man in the presence of the Prophet (PBUH), so He said: 鈥淲oe to you! You have cut your companion's throat!鈥� several times. Then he said: `Whoever of you insists on praising his brother, let him say: "I THINK that (name of person) is such-and-such, BUT Allah knows the exact truth, and I DONOT CONFIRM anyone's good conduct before Allah (SWT), BUT I THINK him to be such-and-such," if he knows that this is the case.'
This is a very thorough book, hitting on every aspect and relationship a Muslimah has - both in the present and future.Everytime I read it I come away with something different because things change in my life.This is not a book that the reader can outgrow.It will never become obsolete.Every Muslim woman-every woman for that matter-could benefit from this book.It is wonderful encouragement and guidance on being as excellent a woman as possible.
This book perfectly shows that us, muslim women, are not oppressed as society and media suppose we are. Islam has raised our status so high that when we are children we open a door of Jannah(Paradise) for our parents, when we get married we complete our husband's Deen(Faith), and when we become mothers Jannah is at our feet. This book taught me a lot of valuable lessons how to improve myself, my behaviour and to become a better person.