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384 pages, ebook
First published March 2, 2017
鈥淭here鈥檚 a web that traps us together, silky and fine, tensile and fragile. A sticky mess I鈥檝e never wanted to escape until now.鈥�
鈥淭he trickle of applause swells to the loudest it鈥檚 been all night in here, and now, my smile is real. That dream I sketched in the air with Rhyson, suspended above a theatre, to be a voice for my generation, that just happened.鈥�
鈥淚 won鈥檛 be getting over you,鈥� he says softly.鈥�
鈥淚 want you so much it scares me,鈥� I say in a rush before my fear stops me.鈥�
鈥淵ou鈥檙e everything I wanted before I even knew what I was getting.鈥�
鈥淢y heart broke loose on the wind.鈥�
鈥淚 want you so much it scares me,鈥� I say in a rush before my fear stops me. 鈥淭he way I feel about you terrifies me.鈥�
He hasn鈥檛 met a love like mine. My love is Pandora鈥檚 Box. Grip snapped my hinges and pried me open. He let this love out. My love has a wild streak. Good luck trying to tame it.
I want to spend the rest of my life feeling this way, like I鈥檓 only half alive when she isn鈥檛 here. There鈥檚 nowhere she could go I wouldn鈥檛 chase her.
Grip was characterized as, what we in the Black community call, an 鈥渁pologist鈥�. This is someone who lives daily with systemic racism but doesn't blame anyone because then we would be as bad as the racists. Lol. No. Just fu@king no. Also, Bristol was such an entitled whiny brat who viewed others through a prejudiced prism.
The more I read the more I knew they deserved each other. Good riddance.
鈥淚f I break your heart, I break mine.鈥�
鈥淎nd you watch me.鈥� He dips his head until he traps my eyes. 鈥淵ou watch me all the time. You can鈥檛 keep your eyes off me any more than I can keep my eyes off you.鈥�
鈥淚t makes me want to set the world on fire.鈥� His words come softly, but the truth roars in his eyes. 鈥淭o think of you with them.鈥� There haven鈥檛 been nearly as many men as he probably assumes, but I don鈥檛 reveal that. I can鈥檛 offer him any relief. 鈥淵ou wanna know what consoles me, though?鈥� He looks up at me, calculation in his eyes. Before I can tell him I don鈥檛 want to know, he goes on. 鈥淔or one, I know when we鈥檙e together, it鈥檒l only take once for me to fuck their memory out of you.鈥�
鈥淎 fiery chord bridges the distance between our bodies, and I want to pull her close enough to burn me, to hurt me, to destroy me. Sometimes I don鈥檛 think I care as long as she鈥檚 close. I just want to feel her, even if it burns me alive.鈥�
Without breaking rhythm, I bend to her ear. 鈥淵ou have nothing to be afraid of.鈥� I press her hand to my chest, over my heart. 鈥淭his is yours. No one else鈥檚.鈥� I dip my head, slowing to nothing, but keeping her eyes.
鈥淚鈥檓 yours. No one else鈥檚.鈥� I scatter kisses over her cheeks. 鈥淓ven when we fight, I feel you. Your anger, your frustration. I feel your pleasure like it鈥檚 mine. Your emotions like they鈥檙e mine鈥�
Don鈥檛 you feel how connected we are?鈥� I ask. 鈥淚f I break your heart, I break mine.鈥�
鈥淗er tears come even as our bodies resume a ferocious pace. We splinter into a thousand pieces in her kitchen, becoming more together than we were apart. More than we were alone. With whispered promises and words of love, we exchange hearts.鈥�
He鈥檚 been brave. He just kept coming after me like a tank, even when I refused. Even when my brother told him he shouldn鈥檛.
Whatever existed between us, even the friendship I鈥檝e grown to treasure over the years, will never be the same.
鈥淛ust because I love someone of a different race doesn鈥檛 mean I鈥檓 not passionate about my own,鈥� Grip disagrees sharply. 鈥淎bout the causes that affect my community or the things that need to be said on our behalf.鈥�
We can鈥檛 be in the same room for five minutes without fighting anymore, so we can鈥檛 be friends. And I鈥檝e made sure we鈥檒l never be lovers. And why the hell not?
鈥� We only had a week together, but the conversation, the connection鈥擨 never had it with anyone else before or since. It is real, and real is so rare, you can鈥檛 ignore it when you find it. You don鈥檛 give up on it.鈥�
in case it isnt apparent, IM OBSESSED WITH GRIP!! like this sansa gif kind of obesessed ...
press 鈫� click 鈫� select 鈥渘aughty little miss Janes collection of innumerable fictional boyfriends鈥� 鈫� done
seriously, the man is ... indescribable. love his chocolate charm, his poetry, his patience, his loyalty, his passion for music, his compassion for the black community, his love for his mom and the people he cares about, his kindess, and so on. i mean, you get it. i could go all day talking about his mouth alone. and what he can do with it. *wink, wink*
obviously, hes not perfect cause nobody is. im just too blind to see what his flaws are. i loved him in this book. if it were up to me, i wouldnt have paired him with Bristol bcs she was obnoxious here. fine, she was amazing!! shes strong, fierce, hardworking, and stubborn. but when it came to Grip, she was so clossed off.
i dont get how someone could work in a professional environment with the person theyre attracted to and have feelings for and not do anything about it for eight damn years. especially when their feelings are reciprocated and that person has, not so subtly, been chasing them too.
i mean, that mustve been some stone wall she casted her heart in. i know, she was afraid to love. *eye roll* 鈥� shes not the only one with a broken home family, you know. so i can sympathize. it was just frustrating to read. but once she was together with Grip, their relationship was so gratifying.
like romantic, electric, and orgasmic kind of gratifying...![]()
just to be clear, i DONT like the OW/OM trope in books. its effective but also really shady and messy and complicated and stupid. there are some instances where i dont mind having it in my books though. one of them is this one.
i think the reason i wasnt that much bothered by it was bcs the author managed to 鈥渉umanize鈥� Qwest and Parker's characters that i believed in their roles. they had their own set of personalities and i was able to see it in the interactions they had with Grip and Bris respectively.
the conflict with Parker and how it was resolved at the end of the book was quite predictable but also satisfying. i loved how everyone who was initially against Grip and Bris relationship come together to help deal with the problem.
the family dynamic in this book wasnt exactly warm. Grip and Bris were at odds with their parents bcs one wasnt accepting of the others social status and backgrounds. i loved seeing how the family relationship slowly progressed over time.
now this book also discussed many prevailing and provocative issues, mostly about race, police brutality, and the black community in the us. i cant speak for the accuracy of all the representations this book had bcs im neither an American nor do i live there.
however, i loved the fact that the author put so many efforts and research in incorporating all of the race related social and political issues into this book. it didnt make the story tedious. if anything for me it was enlightening and stimulating. i learned a lot.
鈥淚 fell for her before the beat dropped.鈥�
鈥淒on鈥檛 you feel how connected we are?鈥� I ask. 鈥淚f I break your heart, I break mine.鈥�
鈥淗e hasn't met a love like mine. My love is Pandora's Box. Grip snapped my hinges and pried me open. He let this love out. My love has a wild streak. Good luck trying to tame it.鈥�
鈥淎 fiery chord bridges the distance between our bodies, and I want to pull her close enough to burn me, to hurt me, to destroy me. Sometimes I don鈥檛 think I care as long as she鈥檚 close. I just want to feel her, even if it burns me alive.鈥�
鈥淚 want to spend the rest of my life feeling this way, like I'm only half alive when she isn't here. There's nowhere she could go I wouldn't chase her.鈥�