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丿賱賴乇賴鈥屬囏й� 讴賵丿讴蹖
賵蹖乇丕爻鬲蹖 亘丕夭亘蹖賳蹖鈥屸€屫簇� 丕夭 讴鬲丕亘蹖 倬乇賮乇賵卮 丿乇 爻胤丨 噩賴丕賳 讴賴 亘賴 賲丕 讴賲讴 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀� 賵丕賯毓蹖鬲 賵 賳蹖丕夭賴丕蹖 丕爻丕爻蹖 禺賵丿 乇丕 讴卮賮 讴賳蹖賲
丌賱蹖爻 賲蹖賱乇 亘賴 禺丕胤乇 鬲丨賯蹖賯丕鬲卮 丿乇 賲賵乇丿 毓賱賱 賵 丌孬丕乇 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏й� 讴賵丿讴蹖 賵 亘賴鈥屸€忊€屫蒂堌� 亘丕亘鬲 讴鬲丕亘 倬乇賮乇賵卮 丿賱賴乇賴鈥屸€忊€屬囏й� 讴賵丿讴蹖 卮賴乇鬲蹖 噩賴丕賳蹖 蹖丕賮鬲賴 丕爻鬲. 賵蹖 倬爻 丕夭 倬丕賳夭丿賴 爻丕賱貙 丿蹖诏乇亘丕乇 亘賴鈥屫池必ж� 丌賳 讴鬲丕亘 丌賲丿賴 賵 亘丕 鬲賵噩賴 亘賴 丕蹖賳鈥徻┵� 賲蹖鈥屸€屭堐屫� 丕夭 趩丕乇趩賵亘 乇賵丕賳鈥徻┴з堐� 禺乇賵噩 讴乇丿賴 丕爻鬲 丿乇 讴鬲丕亘卮 亘丕夭亘蹖賳蹖 丕爻丕爻蹖 讴乇丿賴 丕爻鬲. 丕賵 亘乇 丕蹖賳 亘丕賵乇 丕爻鬲 讴賴 乇蹖卮賴鈥屬囏й� 禺卮賵賳鬲 賵 亘蹖鈥忊€屫必呟屸€忊€屬囏й� 噩丕賲毓賴 丿乇 卮蹖賵賴鈥屸€徺囏й� 爻賳鬲蹖 鬲乇亘蹖鬲 讴賵丿讴丕賳 賵 丌賲賵夭卮 丌賳鈥忊€屬囏� 賳賴賮鬲賴 丕爻鬲 讴賴 賲蹖鈥忊€屫堌з嗀� 丿賵乇丕賳 讴賵丿讴蹖 乇丕 亘賴 夭賳丿丕賳 賲亘丿賱 讴賳丿. 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丿乇 丕蹖賳 賵蹖乇丕爻鬲 噩丿蹖丿 卮乇丨 賲蹖鈥屸€徹囏� 賲丕 趩诏賵賳賴 賲蹖鈥忊€屫堌з嗃屬� 丕夭 蹖丕賮鬲賴鈥忊€屬囏й� 噩丿蹖丿 丕賵 亘乇丕蹖 乇賴丕蹖蹖 禺賵丿 丕爻鬲賮丕丿賴 讴賳蹖賲. 賲蹖賱乇 亘丕 丕爻鬲賮丕丿賴 丕夭 賲孬丕賱鈥屸€徺囏й� 诏賵賳丕诏賵賳 鬲賵囟蹖丨 賲蹖鈥忊€屫囏� 趩诏賵賳賴 賲蹖鈥屸€徹堌з嗃屬� 丕丨爻丕爻丕鬲 诏賲鈥徹簇� 賵 诏匕卮鬲踿 爻乇讴賵亘鈥忊€屫簇€ 禺賵蹖卮 乇丕 亘丕夭蹖丕亘蹖賲 賵 卮乇賵毓蹖 噩丿蹖丿 賵 爻丕賱賲 亘乇丕蹖 禺賵丿 賵 賮乇夭賳丿丕賳賲丕賳 乇賯賲 亘夭賳蹖賲.
丌賱蹖爻 賲蹖賱乇 亘賴 禺丕胤乇 鬲丨賯蹖賯丕鬲卮 丿乇 賲賵乇丿 毓賱賱 賵 丌孬丕乇 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏й� 讴賵丿讴蹖 賵 亘賴鈥屸€忊€屫蒂堌� 亘丕亘鬲 讴鬲丕亘 倬乇賮乇賵卮 丿賱賴乇賴鈥屸€忊€屬囏й� 讴賵丿讴蹖 卮賴乇鬲蹖 噩賴丕賳蹖 蹖丕賮鬲賴 丕爻鬲. 賵蹖 倬爻 丕夭 倬丕賳夭丿賴 爻丕賱貙 丿蹖诏乇亘丕乇 亘賴鈥屫池必ж� 丌賳 讴鬲丕亘 丌賲丿賴 賵 亘丕 鬲賵噩賴 亘賴 丕蹖賳鈥徻┵� 賲蹖鈥屸€屭堐屫� 丕夭 趩丕乇趩賵亘 乇賵丕賳鈥徻┴з堐� 禺乇賵噩 讴乇丿賴 丕爻鬲 丿乇 讴鬲丕亘卮 亘丕夭亘蹖賳蹖 丕爻丕爻蹖 讴乇丿賴 丕爻鬲. 丕賵 亘乇 丕蹖賳 亘丕賵乇 丕爻鬲 讴賴 乇蹖卮賴鈥屬囏й� 禺卮賵賳鬲 賵 亘蹖鈥忊€屫必呟屸€忊€屬囏й� 噩丕賲毓賴 丿乇 卮蹖賵賴鈥屸€徺囏й� 爻賳鬲蹖 鬲乇亘蹖鬲 讴賵丿讴丕賳 賵 丌賲賵夭卮 丌賳鈥忊€屬囏� 賳賴賮鬲賴 丕爻鬲 讴賴 賲蹖鈥忊€屫堌з嗀� 丿賵乇丕賳 讴賵丿讴蹖 乇丕 亘賴 夭賳丿丕賳 賲亘丿賱 讴賳丿. 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丿乇 丕蹖賳 賵蹖乇丕爻鬲 噩丿蹖丿 卮乇丨 賲蹖鈥屸€徹囏� 賲丕 趩诏賵賳賴 賲蹖鈥忊€屫堌з嗃屬� 丕夭 蹖丕賮鬲賴鈥忊€屬囏й� 噩丿蹖丿 丕賵 亘乇丕蹖 乇賴丕蹖蹖 禺賵丿 丕爻鬲賮丕丿賴 讴賳蹖賲. 賲蹖賱乇 亘丕 丕爻鬲賮丕丿賴 丕夭 賲孬丕賱鈥屸€徺囏й� 诏賵賳丕诏賵賳 鬲賵囟蹖丨 賲蹖鈥忊€屫囏� 趩诏賵賳賴 賲蹖鈥屸€徹堌з嗃屬� 丕丨爻丕爻丕鬲 诏賲鈥徹簇� 賵 诏匕卮鬲踿 爻乇讴賵亘鈥忊€屫簇€ 禺賵蹖卮 乇丕 亘丕夭蹖丕亘蹖賲 賵 卮乇賵毓蹖 噩丿蹖丿 賵 爻丕賱賲 亘乇丕蹖 禺賵丿 賵 賮乇夭賳丿丕賳賲丕賳 乇賯賲 亘夭賳蹖賲.
175 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1979
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About the author
Alice Miller
16听books1,014听followersAlice Miller was a Polish-Swiss psychologist, psychoanalyst and philosopher of Jewish origin, who is noted for her books on parental child abuse, translated into several languages. She was also a noted public intellectual.
Her book The Drama of the Gifted Child caused a sensation and became an international bestseller upon the English publication in 1981. Her views on the consequences of child abuse became highly influential. In her books she departed from psychoanalysis, charging it with being similar to the poisonous pedagogies.
Her book The Drama of the Gifted Child caused a sensation and became an international bestseller upon the English publication in 1981. Her views on the consequences of child abuse became highly influential. In her books she departed from psychoanalysis, charging it with being similar to the poisonous pedagogies.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,996 reviews
June 7, 2015
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
-Philip Larkin, This Be The Verse
Not the facile pop-psychology I was expecting, rather a book with some penetrating insights. As other reviewers note, "gifted" in this context does not refer necessarily to academic or artistic gifts (though these are common in the patient group Miller describes), rather a kind of emotional sensitivity.
Briefly, Miller describes the narcissistic personality disturbance. Here narcissistic is used not in the broad sense of vain, being in love with yourself etc. This narcissism is an internalisation of the great expectations of one's parents, the consequent lasting feelings of inadequacy and drive to greater and greater successes (that leave one hollow). Narcissus did not fall in love with himself, but with a false reflection of himself.
The twin manifestations of narcissism are grandiosity and depression. Each is a defence against the other. Grandiosity arises as a person feels their achievements render them superior to everyone else. Depression strikes when they realise they will never achieve as much as "necessary" to support their ego, or that all achievements are empty. Both these manifestations can be traced back to a failure to express one's true self and an idealisation of a false-self instilled by parental desires, pride, ambition, vicarious status-seeking etc. Grandiosity is characterised by contempt for others (who have not, as a casual example, read as many books or displayed as brilliant intellectual and artistic accomplishments). Depression is characterised by contempt for oneself, when one does not (cannot) meet one's own expectations. Anything less than world-historical greatness (and perhaps even that) is seen as failure, that is, pathetic mediocrity. Notably, parents do not have to be physically abusive to have these effects. A small child, entirely dependent on its parents for all its needs, will do anything to ensure their attention and will take careful note of the smallest expressions of admiration or derision. Thus a keen sensitivity as a child instils a cripplingly powerful super-ego.
Miller claims that the key to these feelings is the realisation that one was loved as a child not for who one was, but (in large part at least) because of one's achievements. This leaves the child always desperate to achieve more, to safeguard their parents' love. One's own personality, desires, needs and emotions are suppressed to create a projected perfection which attracts love and awe. Recognition of this allows the patients to be who they are for the first time and to experience their own emotions - both positive and negative. It is remarkably difficult for some people to even contemplate negative thoughts towards their parents. Childhood memories of abuse are among the most strongly suppressed or displaced. Miller references Ingmar Bergman who described in great detail the violent abuse his brother faced at his father's hands, but had no recollection of any mistreatment to himself. (Of course, it seems rather unlikely that he went through his childhood entirely unscathed).
This is all pretty simplified, the book is brief and well worth reading particularly if you see aspects of yourself or someone you know in the above. Though some of the book passed me by there were sentences that gutted me like a fish...
As I look forward to becoming a parent myself within the next few months (against Larkin's advice, if you know the rest of the poem) I can only hope to not fuck up my child, or at least to fuck them up as little as possible. That is, to avoid projecting my own desires and fantasies and personal conception of success onto them and to allow them to flourish as their own person.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
-Philip Larkin, This Be The Verse
Not the facile pop-psychology I was expecting, rather a book with some penetrating insights. As other reviewers note, "gifted" in this context does not refer necessarily to academic or artistic gifts (though these are common in the patient group Miller describes), rather a kind of emotional sensitivity.
Briefly, Miller describes the narcissistic personality disturbance. Here narcissistic is used not in the broad sense of vain, being in love with yourself etc. This narcissism is an internalisation of the great expectations of one's parents, the consequent lasting feelings of inadequacy and drive to greater and greater successes (that leave one hollow). Narcissus did not fall in love with himself, but with a false reflection of himself.
The twin manifestations of narcissism are grandiosity and depression. Each is a defence against the other. Grandiosity arises as a person feels their achievements render them superior to everyone else. Depression strikes when they realise they will never achieve as much as "necessary" to support their ego, or that all achievements are empty. Both these manifestations can be traced back to a failure to express one's true self and an idealisation of a false-self instilled by parental desires, pride, ambition, vicarious status-seeking etc. Grandiosity is characterised by contempt for others (who have not, as a casual example, read as many books or displayed as brilliant intellectual and artistic accomplishments). Depression is characterised by contempt for oneself, when one does not (cannot) meet one's own expectations. Anything less than world-historical greatness (and perhaps even that) is seen as failure, that is, pathetic mediocrity. Notably, parents do not have to be physically abusive to have these effects. A small child, entirely dependent on its parents for all its needs, will do anything to ensure their attention and will take careful note of the smallest expressions of admiration or derision. Thus a keen sensitivity as a child instils a cripplingly powerful super-ego.
Miller claims that the key to these feelings is the realisation that one was loved as a child not for who one was, but (in large part at least) because of one's achievements. This leaves the child always desperate to achieve more, to safeguard their parents' love. One's own personality, desires, needs and emotions are suppressed to create a projected perfection which attracts love and awe. Recognition of this allows the patients to be who they are for the first time and to experience their own emotions - both positive and negative. It is remarkably difficult for some people to even contemplate negative thoughts towards their parents. Childhood memories of abuse are among the most strongly suppressed or displaced. Miller references Ingmar Bergman who described in great detail the violent abuse his brother faced at his father's hands, but had no recollection of any mistreatment to himself. (Of course, it seems rather unlikely that he went through his childhood entirely unscathed).
This is all pretty simplified, the book is brief and well worth reading particularly if you see aspects of yourself or someone you know in the above. Though some of the book passed me by there were sentences that gutted me like a fish...
As I look forward to becoming a parent myself within the next few months (against Larkin's advice, if you know the rest of the poem) I can only hope to not fuck up my child, or at least to fuck them up as little as possible. That is, to avoid projecting my own desires and fantasies and personal conception of success onto them and to allow them to flourish as their own person.
August 28, 2010
Miller presents a solid theory with some difficult truths, but at time the narrowness of her idea turns into a sort of tunnel vision with sweeping generalizations that are far too much. She gets carried away with herself and disregards other influences, other options. I always bristle at any theory that attempts to explain everything with a single reason or cause, especially in the complicated matters of psychology or human emotion. Regardless, the clarity of her presentation makes this an easy read, and Miller's ideas have a great foundation, doubtless a benefit to many, many people.
(There were, however, times when I felt an equally apt title would have been, "Yes, you really are fucked up, no matter what you think, and it's all mommy's fault!" I'm fairly certain that my parents' toilet training techniques contribued nothing to why I'm a hot mess. In fact, I'd be willing to bet their success in that endeavor has significantly aided me in my quest to be anything other than a filthy hermit. Just sayin'. That part made me choke on my tea.)
Two quotes from the book that I really liked:
"The true opposite of depression is neither gaiety nor absence of pain, but vitality--the freedom to experience spontaneous feelings." [p. 61:]
"...I can understand my suicidal ideas better now, especially those I had in my youth...because in a way I had always been living a life that wasn't mine, that I didn't want, and that I was ready to throw away." [p. 62:]
(There were, however, times when I felt an equally apt title would have been, "Yes, you really are fucked up, no matter what you think, and it's all mommy's fault!" I'm fairly certain that my parents' toilet training techniques contribued nothing to why I'm a hot mess. In fact, I'd be willing to bet their success in that endeavor has significantly aided me in my quest to be anything other than a filthy hermit. Just sayin'. That part made me choke on my tea.)
Two quotes from the book that I really liked:
"The true opposite of depression is neither gaiety nor absence of pain, but vitality--the freedom to experience spontaneous feelings." [p. 61:]
"...I can understand my suicidal ideas better now, especially those I had in my youth...because in a way I had always been living a life that wasn't mine, that I didn't want, and that I was ready to throw away." [p. 62:]
August 27, 2007
for the people who seem to have it all yet hunger for so much.
this is not the psychopop of twelve-step, i-got-in-touch-with-my-anger-today, neurosis-no-more books. "gifted" here has nothing to do with what your school counselor/teacher told was gifted or talented. rather, the original german word refers to the ability to empathize and meet the needs of a parent figure--at the loss of your true self. while this gift might enable one to survive his/her childhood, the gifted person's unmet need to express without fear her true feelings and wishes lingers like a virus that wreaks a quiet havoc on one's sense of self throughout adulthood if untreated. this book offers the start of such treatment, best summed-up in a word: hope.
thanks to this book, i have a lot of hope. not to mention a keener understanding of a lot of the characters in my life--the good, the bad, and the ugly. we gifted types are everywhere.
this is not the psychopop of twelve-step, i-got-in-touch-with-my-anger-today, neurosis-no-more books. "gifted" here has nothing to do with what your school counselor/teacher told was gifted or talented. rather, the original german word refers to the ability to empathize and meet the needs of a parent figure--at the loss of your true self. while this gift might enable one to survive his/her childhood, the gifted person's unmet need to express without fear her true feelings and wishes lingers like a virus that wreaks a quiet havoc on one's sense of self throughout adulthood if untreated. this book offers the start of such treatment, best summed-up in a word: hope.
thanks to this book, i have a lot of hope. not to mention a keener understanding of a lot of the characters in my life--the good, the bad, and the ugly. we gifted types are everywhere.
December 26, 2024
Let us stay, rather, on Earth...
Where the unfit contrarious moods of men recoil away
And isolate pure spirits, and permit
A place to stand and love in for a day -
With Darkness and the Death Hour rounding it.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
I wrote this review a bit too fast. I AM a gifted child who is STILL sacrificed on my own altar of ridiculously high expectations! I shoulda "stayed, rather, on Earth."
My parents, like these kids did, helped me BUILD that altar. It was a smoke screen covering the Truth.
An altar of self-immolation, and the REAL Reason I burned out at retirement, just like so many other frantically-driven managers.
Yikes - OK. Here's what I wrote a year or so ago...
"This wonderful book details the inner spiritual death suffered by little kids who are conveniently SACRIFICED ON THE ALTAR OF PARENTAL EXPECTATION - and thus of vicarious parental ambition.
An awful story, if it applies to any of you.
These kids, now grown up, relive their childhood nightmares of being put in a spiritual coffin by their controlling guardians.
And the result is a meaningless life of 鈥榞oing through the motions of living鈥� WITHOUT ever knowing their true selves.
And this awful outcome is now more and more the Rule rather than the Exception in our conveyer-belt lives. (I thought it would touch a real nerve when applied to the car wreck of my own life.) But in fact, it did not...
You see, in the spring of my thirteenth year I made a conscious decision to relive the memories of my early childhood to such an extent that they - as the record of my real self, likely soon to be submerged as I entered the regimental high school system - would henceforth be indelibly stamped on my mental identity.
I would generally walk the LONG way home from my nearby elementary school (no junior high back then!) and gradually tease these buried memory threads into my conscious wakeful mind.
And in such a way I amassed an inner archive of detail of the Living Self that had experienced them.
I musta been prescient. The adult world was waiting in the wings to do a number on my inner child!
But with this inner archive, I was later able to more or less easily restore my real self - after the arduous and uncompromising night of neuroleptic drugs eventually lightened into a jagged, broken dawn.
And talking on 欧宝娱乐 helped enormously!
So, no - this book didn鈥檛 apply to me. "
So went my cock 'n bull story!
Like bally heck! I shoulda known better to have sent it to my sister, who knew I AM a "gifted child." She didn't quibble about my illusion. But she KNEW I DIDN'T KNOW the real story. I just didn't get it...
Till I read Eliza Morgan's book The Beauty of Broken again. In it, she baldly says our real life won't begin till we see WE ALL are broken people. A direct hit on my OCD.
So to those of us to whom the calamitously deleterious memories of vicarious adult ambition resulted in your spiritual death...
While your true self may remain a closed book to you...
Your vitality will be reborn, if you follow this book鈥檚 many stories into deep mourning for your lost inner child.
And REALLY start over at Square One, for it's there, in our murky beginnings, that we must shine the Bright Light of Reason.
And Right Now is ALL we have, you know...
For it's only in the Bright Light of Reason -
That we will see our Childhood Devils as a part of the too-real Stark Reality we live in today.
Where the unfit contrarious moods of men recoil away
And isolate pure spirits, and permit
A place to stand and love in for a day -
With Darkness and the Death Hour rounding it.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
I wrote this review a bit too fast. I AM a gifted child who is STILL sacrificed on my own altar of ridiculously high expectations! I shoulda "stayed, rather, on Earth."
My parents, like these kids did, helped me BUILD that altar. It was a smoke screen covering the Truth.
An altar of self-immolation, and the REAL Reason I burned out at retirement, just like so many other frantically-driven managers.
Yikes - OK. Here's what I wrote a year or so ago...
"This wonderful book details the inner spiritual death suffered by little kids who are conveniently SACRIFICED ON THE ALTAR OF PARENTAL EXPECTATION - and thus of vicarious parental ambition.
An awful story, if it applies to any of you.
These kids, now grown up, relive their childhood nightmares of being put in a spiritual coffin by their controlling guardians.
And the result is a meaningless life of 鈥榞oing through the motions of living鈥� WITHOUT ever knowing their true selves.
And this awful outcome is now more and more the Rule rather than the Exception in our conveyer-belt lives. (I thought it would touch a real nerve when applied to the car wreck of my own life.) But in fact, it did not...
You see, in the spring of my thirteenth year I made a conscious decision to relive the memories of my early childhood to such an extent that they - as the record of my real self, likely soon to be submerged as I entered the regimental high school system - would henceforth be indelibly stamped on my mental identity.
I would generally walk the LONG way home from my nearby elementary school (no junior high back then!) and gradually tease these buried memory threads into my conscious wakeful mind.
And in such a way I amassed an inner archive of detail of the Living Self that had experienced them.
I musta been prescient. The adult world was waiting in the wings to do a number on my inner child!
But with this inner archive, I was later able to more or less easily restore my real self - after the arduous and uncompromising night of neuroleptic drugs eventually lightened into a jagged, broken dawn.
And talking on 欧宝娱乐 helped enormously!
So, no - this book didn鈥檛 apply to me. "
So went my cock 'n bull story!
Like bally heck! I shoulda known better to have sent it to my sister, who knew I AM a "gifted child." She didn't quibble about my illusion. But she KNEW I DIDN'T KNOW the real story. I just didn't get it...
Till I read Eliza Morgan's book The Beauty of Broken again. In it, she baldly says our real life won't begin till we see WE ALL are broken people. A direct hit on my OCD.
So to those of us to whom the calamitously deleterious memories of vicarious adult ambition resulted in your spiritual death...
While your true self may remain a closed book to you...
Your vitality will be reborn, if you follow this book鈥檚 many stories into deep mourning for your lost inner child.
And REALLY start over at Square One, for it's there, in our murky beginnings, that we must shine the Bright Light of Reason.
And Right Now is ALL we have, you know...
For it's only in the Bright Light of Reason -
That we will see our Childhood Devils as a part of the too-real Stark Reality we live in today.
July 14, 2012
I read this in my mid-30s and at the time, I found this to be the most helpful book I had ever read. Narcissism is fully explained - though many may think that is just another word for self-centeredness - in its many complexities. The title is misleading and apparently renamed for marketing purposes. The child who is victimized by the Narcissist is gifted because they deal with such heavy challenges and become over-sensitive to others' needs, always eager to please, while suppressing their own self-knowledge, emotions and needs.
The book described my life in extraordinary detail, it was a catharsis to see expressed what I never could have spoken. There were a few details that did not match my life for sure, but on the whole, this book freed me.
The book describes the extraordinary behaviors, symptoms, resulting characteristics in both the Narcissist and the victim.
Too you can't explain away a person with just one cause, and no one is a pure Narcissist, nor should anyone be a total victim.
The biggest drawback to the book is that after reading it, being enlightened and more aware of Narcissistic behavior and the stunted growth of the victims...you then say: then what?
Alice Miller never ever talks about forgiveness or how to overcome being victimized, stuck in indignation. Learning the exercise of gratitude and forgiveness is the only way to beat the despair of self-pity.
Today if I read it, I might take exception to the Freudian slant, to her constant complaining, to her utter atheistic outlook - but at the time I read this book, I was in no shape to weigh those kinds of things.
The book described my life in extraordinary detail, it was a catharsis to see expressed what I never could have spoken. There were a few details that did not match my life for sure, but on the whole, this book freed me.
The book describes the extraordinary behaviors, symptoms, resulting characteristics in both the Narcissist and the victim.
Too you can't explain away a person with just one cause, and no one is a pure Narcissist, nor should anyone be a total victim.
The biggest drawback to the book is that after reading it, being enlightened and more aware of Narcissistic behavior and the stunted growth of the victims...you then say: then what?
Alice Miller never ever talks about forgiveness or how to overcome being victimized, stuck in indignation. Learning the exercise of gratitude and forgiveness is the only way to beat the despair of self-pity.
Today if I read it, I might take exception to the Freudian slant, to her constant complaining, to her utter atheistic outlook - but at the time I read this book, I was in no shape to weigh those kinds of things.
January 20, 2011
To be fair, I'm going to start with the caveat that I'm not a huge fan of Freud, on whose theories of psychoanalysis Alice Miller seems to rely quite heavily in constructing her own. But while I admit my personal bias against the foundation for her psychological theory, I still believe the construction of her general arguments to be weak as well. She seems to depend far too heavily on isolated instances as evidence of the childhood "abuses" that have crippled her patients in their adulthood, while dismissing more pronounced examples of abuse as too extreme for the case she wishes to make. Furthermore, it seems that her entire exploration of the "gifted child" -- not one who is overly bright, but rather a child who is able to empathize with his parents as they struggle through their issues -- is based on her own mama-drama rather than on more objective studies. It seems that Miller is grasping at examples to justify her own childhood frustrations. While surely cathartic, this doesn't strike me as a sound basis for a psychological treatise.
I might be able to forgive all that, had the writing been more compelling or better organized. I cannot excuse the poor construction of this text, or Miller's failure to adequately support her points or tie together the various threads of her argument. Without a conclusion, her complaints fall flat and her thesis remains unsound. I'm not really sure of what, if anything, she's believes she has proven, or what substantial evidence she has given to back her claim. I come away feeling that a parent can't possibly do right by their child, as any attempt at a reprimand is considered borderline abuse. Miller might have done better to include suggestions for positive parental models or success stories, to better indicate the goals of her methods or the point of this book. Her other texts may be more compelling, but this one is a definite must-miss.
I might be able to forgive all that, had the writing been more compelling or better organized. I cannot excuse the poor construction of this text, or Miller's failure to adequately support her points or tie together the various threads of her argument. Without a conclusion, her complaints fall flat and her thesis remains unsound. I'm not really sure of what, if anything, she's believes she has proven, or what substantial evidence she has given to back her claim. I come away feeling that a parent can't possibly do right by their child, as any attempt at a reprimand is considered borderline abuse. Miller might have done better to include suggestions for positive parental models or success stories, to better indicate the goals of her methods or the point of this book. Her other texts may be more compelling, but this one is a definite must-miss.
October 22, 2021
Those who have experienced insecure or disorganized attachment to their parents as a result of absent or authoritarian parenting, may experience the impact for the rest of their lives. Such parenting can interrupt the bonding process, depriving a young child of the opportunity to feel safe and loved, and ultimately of developing a healthy sense of well-being. As they grow into adulthood, they may try to compensate for that lack of a healthy sense of self by seeking praise and accolades from devotees in the outside world鈥� sometimes at all costs. It becomes almost a matter of survival.
=============
In his book Humankind, the author treats the terms placebo and nocebo as psychological outlooks. Placebo is positive and encouraging and nocebo is the opposite. These insights complement Alice Miller's book.
My mother was nocebo. My parents were married young and lived through The Great Depression as adults. My dad went to college and medical school during this time and was drafted the day after he finished his medical residency at Boston General Hospital. After the War, they set up my dad's solo medical practice in the small New Hampshire mill town they were from. While my father did the doctoring, my mother ran the business side. After 17 long years, my dad's mid-life crisis resulted in the radical move of our family to the SF Bay Area when I was 7.
I only figured out recently that these experiences did not foster resilience in my mother, rather she may have had PTSD as a result. She was agoraphobic and had a very negative outlook. Her attitude was "why bother?" She was always advising us to give up, to quit. Not the message you need from a parent. My father finally came out, in a letter to me, and admitted she was crippled by fear. He made the mistake of covering for her at all costs at the expense of the children.
If you are nocebo, you're going to be sad, negative, and pessimistic, which turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy. My mom's perspective, and my dad's unconditional support of her, did profound damage to the children that ended in tragedy. This is no way to live.
=============
A few insights from the book....
"Where there is no parental respect for a child's feelings, he will seek refuge from his pain in ideologies. Nationalism, racism, and fascism are in fact nothing other than ideological guises of the flight from painful, unconscious memories of endured contempt."
"It is among the commonplaces of education that we often first cut off the living root and then try to replace its natural functions by artificial means. Thus we suppress the child鈥檚 curiosity, for example (there are questions one should not ask), and then when he lacks a natural interest in learning we offer him special coaching for his scholastic difficulties."
"We could make great progress in becoming more honest, respectful, and conscious, thus less destructive, if religious leaders could acknowledge and respect these simple psychological laws. Instead of ignoring them, they should open their eyes to the vast damage produced by hypocrisy, in families and in society as a whole."
"A child has a primary need from the very beginning of her life to be regarded and respected as the person she really is at any given time."
==============
Winston Churchill had bad parents but didn't fully realize it.
His biographer, William Manchester explains....
鈥淢y mother,鈥� Churchill writes, 鈥渁lways seemed to me a fairy princess: a radiant being possessed of limitless riches and power. She shone for me like the Evening Star.鈥� In reality Lady Randolph, the American-born Jennie Jerome, was a beautiful, shallow, diamond-studded panther of a woman who neglected him shamefully. Later, when Winston grew to manhood, she found him 鈥渋nteresting,鈥� but she didn鈥檛 like children.
His perception of his father was even more distorted...
In Amid These Storms Churchill wrote: 鈥淭he greatest and most powerful influence in my early life was of course my father鈥�. He saw no reason why the old glories of Church and State, of King and country, should not be reconciled with modern democracy; or why the masses of working people should not becomes the chief defenders of those ancient institutions by which their liberty and progress had been achieved.鈥� History鈥檚 verdict is very different. Randolph was a shallow political demagogue whose star briefly crossed the parliamentary firmament in the mid-1880s, when he became Chancellor of the Exchequer and then, within six months, owing to his extraordinarily bad judgment, plunged out of sight.
Emotionally abandoned by both, young Winston blamed himself. Needing outlets for his own welling adoration, he created images of them as he wished they were, and the less he saw of them, the easier that transformation became. His suppressed resentment at their neglect had to be directed elsewhere. Thus he became a difficult child and a wretched student. All his life he would be plagued by spells of depression鈥斺€淏lack Dog鈥� as he called them. Love, he had come to believe, was something that had to be earned, and he sought it in achievement, becoming a creature of ambition and raw energy.
=====
The author Hermann Hesse is another stunning example.
He was highly repressed as a child by his hard-line parents. (Both his parents and grandparents were missionaries). They saw their son as obstreperous and thus to be brought to heel.
His father wrote:
"Hermann, who was considered almost a model of good behavior in the boys鈥� house is sometimes hardly to be borne. Though it would be very humiliating for us [!], I am earnestly considering whether we should not place him in an institution or another household. We are too nervous and weak for him, and the whole household [is] too undisciplined and irregular. He seems to be gifted for everything: he observes the moon and the clouds, extemporizes for long periods on the harmonium, draws wonderful pictures with pencil or pen, can sing quite well when he wants to, and is never at a loss for a rhyme."
The parents instilled tremendous guilt into their gifted son for not conforming, a guilt which he never entirely escaped. In Hermann Hesse's story, 鈥淎 Child鈥檚 Heart鈥� about his fundamentalist parents we read: "If I were to reduce all my feelings and their painful conflicts to a single name, I can think of no other word but: dread. It was dread, dread and uncertainty, that I felt in all those hours of shattered childhood felicity: dread of punishment, dread of my own conscience, dread of stirrings in my soul which I considered forbidden and criminal."
============
I told my story in this review.....
/review/show...
=============
In his book Humankind, the author treats the terms placebo and nocebo as psychological outlooks. Placebo is positive and encouraging and nocebo is the opposite. These insights complement Alice Miller's book.
My mother was nocebo. My parents were married young and lived through The Great Depression as adults. My dad went to college and medical school during this time and was drafted the day after he finished his medical residency at Boston General Hospital. After the War, they set up my dad's solo medical practice in the small New Hampshire mill town they were from. While my father did the doctoring, my mother ran the business side. After 17 long years, my dad's mid-life crisis resulted in the radical move of our family to the SF Bay Area when I was 7.
I only figured out recently that these experiences did not foster resilience in my mother, rather she may have had PTSD as a result. She was agoraphobic and had a very negative outlook. Her attitude was "why bother?" She was always advising us to give up, to quit. Not the message you need from a parent. My father finally came out, in a letter to me, and admitted she was crippled by fear. He made the mistake of covering for her at all costs at the expense of the children.
If you are nocebo, you're going to be sad, negative, and pessimistic, which turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy. My mom's perspective, and my dad's unconditional support of her, did profound damage to the children that ended in tragedy. This is no way to live.
=============
A few insights from the book....
"Where there is no parental respect for a child's feelings, he will seek refuge from his pain in ideologies. Nationalism, racism, and fascism are in fact nothing other than ideological guises of the flight from painful, unconscious memories of endured contempt."
"It is among the commonplaces of education that we often first cut off the living root and then try to replace its natural functions by artificial means. Thus we suppress the child鈥檚 curiosity, for example (there are questions one should not ask), and then when he lacks a natural interest in learning we offer him special coaching for his scholastic difficulties."
"We could make great progress in becoming more honest, respectful, and conscious, thus less destructive, if religious leaders could acknowledge and respect these simple psychological laws. Instead of ignoring them, they should open their eyes to the vast damage produced by hypocrisy, in families and in society as a whole."
"A child has a primary need from the very beginning of her life to be regarded and respected as the person she really is at any given time."
==============
Winston Churchill had bad parents but didn't fully realize it.
His biographer, William Manchester explains....
鈥淢y mother,鈥� Churchill writes, 鈥渁lways seemed to me a fairy princess: a radiant being possessed of limitless riches and power. She shone for me like the Evening Star.鈥� In reality Lady Randolph, the American-born Jennie Jerome, was a beautiful, shallow, diamond-studded panther of a woman who neglected him shamefully. Later, when Winston grew to manhood, she found him 鈥渋nteresting,鈥� but she didn鈥檛 like children.
His perception of his father was even more distorted...
In Amid These Storms Churchill wrote: 鈥淭he greatest and most powerful influence in my early life was of course my father鈥�. He saw no reason why the old glories of Church and State, of King and country, should not be reconciled with modern democracy; or why the masses of working people should not becomes the chief defenders of those ancient institutions by which their liberty and progress had been achieved.鈥� History鈥檚 verdict is very different. Randolph was a shallow political demagogue whose star briefly crossed the parliamentary firmament in the mid-1880s, when he became Chancellor of the Exchequer and then, within six months, owing to his extraordinarily bad judgment, plunged out of sight.
Emotionally abandoned by both, young Winston blamed himself. Needing outlets for his own welling adoration, he created images of them as he wished they were, and the less he saw of them, the easier that transformation became. His suppressed resentment at their neglect had to be directed elsewhere. Thus he became a difficult child and a wretched student. All his life he would be plagued by spells of depression鈥斺€淏lack Dog鈥� as he called them. Love, he had come to believe, was something that had to be earned, and he sought it in achievement, becoming a creature of ambition and raw energy.
=====
The author Hermann Hesse is another stunning example.
He was highly repressed as a child by his hard-line parents. (Both his parents and grandparents were missionaries). They saw their son as obstreperous and thus to be brought to heel.
His father wrote:
"Hermann, who was considered almost a model of good behavior in the boys鈥� house is sometimes hardly to be borne. Though it would be very humiliating for us [!], I am earnestly considering whether we should not place him in an institution or another household. We are too nervous and weak for him, and the whole household [is] too undisciplined and irregular. He seems to be gifted for everything: he observes the moon and the clouds, extemporizes for long periods on the harmonium, draws wonderful pictures with pencil or pen, can sing quite well when he wants to, and is never at a loss for a rhyme."
The parents instilled tremendous guilt into their gifted son for not conforming, a guilt which he never entirely escaped. In Hermann Hesse's story, 鈥淎 Child鈥檚 Heart鈥� about his fundamentalist parents we read: "If I were to reduce all my feelings and their painful conflicts to a single name, I can think of no other word but: dread. It was dread, dread and uncertainty, that I felt in all those hours of shattered childhood felicity: dread of punishment, dread of my own conscience, dread of stirrings in my soul which I considered forbidden and criminal."
============
I told my story in this review.....
/review/show...
May 25, 2019
讴鬲丕亘 禺蹖賱蹖 禺賵亘蹖 丨乇賮 亘賵丿. 丨乇賮 丕氐賱蹖 讴鬲丕亘 丕蹖賳 亘賵丿 讴賴 亘丕蹖丿 丿爻鬲 丕夭 鬲賵賴賲 賵 鬲賵噩蹖賴 亘乇丿丕乇蹖賲 賵 賯亘賵賱 讴賳蹖賲 丌爻蹖亘 丿蹖丿蹖賲. 賯亘賵賱 讴賳蹖賲 讴賴 禺賵丿賲賵賳 賵 丿蹖诏乇丕賳 亘賴 禺氐賵氐 倬丿乇 賵 賲丕丿乇 丿乇 丿賵乇丕賳 讴賵丿讴蹖 亘賴賲賵賳 丌爻蹖亘 夭丿賳丿 賵 噩乇丕鬲 讴賳蹖賲 丕蹖賳 丌爻蹖亘 乇賵 丕賮卮丕 讴賳蹖賲 亘丿賵賳 鬲乇爻 丕夭 丿爻鬲 丿丕丿賳 賵 丿賵爻鬲 丿丕卮鬲賴 賳卮丿賳.
讴鬲丕亘 賲蹖诏賮鬲 乇蹖卮賴 鬲賲丕賲 诏乇丕蹖卮賴丕蹖 丕賮乇丕胤蹖 丿賯蹖賯丕 賴賲蹖賳 鬲乇爻賴 賵 鬲賱丕卮 亘乇丕蹖 丕蹖賳讴賴 丌爻蹖亘 丿蹖丿诏蹖賲賵賳 乇賵 賲禺賮蹖 讴賳蹖賲.
...
蹖讴蹖 丕夭 亘丨孬賴丕蹖 丕氐賱蹖 丿蹖诏賴 蹖 讴鬲丕亘 賴賲 丕蹖賳 亘賵丿 讴賴 倬丿乇 賵 賲丕丿乇蹖 讴賴 亘賴 丌爻蹖亘賴丕卮賵賳 丌诏丕賴 賳卮丿賳 丕夭 亘趩賴 賴丕卮賵賳 亘乇丕蹖 賲禺賮蹖 讴乇丿賳 丕蹖賳 丌爻蹖亘賴丕 丕爻鬲賮丕丿賴 賲蹖讴賳賳丿 賵 丕讴孬乇 亘趩賴 賴丕 亘乇丕蹖 丕夭 丿爻鬲 賳丿丕丿賳 丨賲丕蹖鬲賴丕蹖 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 鬲丕 丌禺乇 毓賲乇卮賵賳 诏丕賴蹖 丕噩丕夭賴 賲蹖丿賳 讴賴 丕夭卮賵賳 爻賵丕爻鬲賮丕丿賴 亘卮賴 賵 亘毓丿 丿賵亘丕乇賴 賴賲蹖賳賴丕 乇賵 亘賴 亘趩賴 蹖 禺賵丿卮賵賳 賲賳鬲賯賱 賲蹖讴賳賳丿.
丕乇夭卮 禺賵賳丿賳 丿丕卮鬲 丕賱亘鬲賴 亘乇丕蹖 讴爻丕蹖蹖 讴賴 亘丕 禺賵丿 禺賵丿 禺賵丿卮賵賳 賴賳賵夭 讴賳丕乇 賳蹖賵賲丿賳.
讴鬲丕亘 賲蹖诏賮鬲 乇蹖卮賴 鬲賲丕賲 诏乇丕蹖卮賴丕蹖 丕賮乇丕胤蹖 丿賯蹖賯丕 賴賲蹖賳 鬲乇爻賴 賵 鬲賱丕卮 亘乇丕蹖 丕蹖賳讴賴 丌爻蹖亘 丿蹖丿诏蹖賲賵賳 乇賵 賲禺賮蹖 讴賳蹖賲.
...
蹖讴蹖 丕夭 亘丨孬賴丕蹖 丕氐賱蹖 丿蹖诏賴 蹖 讴鬲丕亘 賴賲 丕蹖賳 亘賵丿 讴賴 倬丿乇 賵 賲丕丿乇蹖 讴賴 亘賴 丌爻蹖亘賴丕卮賵賳 丌诏丕賴 賳卮丿賳 丕夭 亘趩賴 賴丕卮賵賳 亘乇丕蹖 賲禺賮蹖 讴乇丿賳 丕蹖賳 丌爻蹖亘賴丕 丕爻鬲賮丕丿賴 賲蹖讴賳賳丿 賵 丕讴孬乇 亘趩賴 賴丕 亘乇丕蹖 丕夭 丿爻鬲 賳丿丕丿賳 丨賲丕蹖鬲賴丕蹖 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 鬲丕 丌禺乇 毓賲乇卮賵賳 诏丕賴蹖 丕噩丕夭賴 賲蹖丿賳 讴賴 丕夭卮賵賳 爻賵丕爻鬲賮丕丿賴 亘卮賴 賵 亘毓丿 丿賵亘丕乇賴 賴賲蹖賳賴丕 乇賵 亘賴 亘趩賴 蹖 禺賵丿卮賵賳 賲賳鬲賯賱 賲蹖讴賳賳丿.
丕乇夭卮 禺賵賳丿賳 丿丕卮鬲 丕賱亘鬲賴 亘乇丕蹖 讴爻丕蹖蹖 讴賴 亘丕 禺賵丿 禺賵丿 禺賵丿卮賵賳 賴賳賵夭 讴賳丕乇 賳蹖賵賲丿賳.
December 17, 2015
A succinct and insightful book about the effects of child abuse. While childhood mistreatment may give kids certain gifts - such as increased empathy and greater achievement - these strengths come at a great cost. Only by confronting and honoring their pasts can these children rise above their unmet needs. Alice Miller writes with conviction and compassion, and I most enjoyed how she emphasizes the hope all of us gifted children should have: we can all lead fulfilling and meaningful lives, with effort and kindness to ourselves.
Miller does make some generalizations in The Drama of the Gifted Child, as I doubt all feminist women with piercings or angry male politicians faced childhood abuse. However, considering this book's publication date, I forgive her. I read this book at quite the fitting time in my personal life, so expect it to make an appearance in my future memoir/writing.
Miller does make some generalizations in The Drama of the Gifted Child, as I doubt all feminist women with piercings or angry male politicians faced childhood abuse. However, considering this book's publication date, I forgive her. I read this book at quite the fitting time in my personal life, so expect it to make an appearance in my future memoir/writing.
March 7, 2009
This is an excellent book for learning more about yourself, how you became the way you are, and also as a possible source of help regarding the causes and cure of any emotional difficulties you may have. It will also help you better understand the people around you and how they came to be the way they are. It is a good source of psychological knowledge. Alice Miller shows very clearly how the way our parents raised us when we are children formed us psychologically.
Alice Miller wrote her second book, For Your Own Good, as a continuation of this book, and I think the detailed examples and analysis she provides in the second book will be very interesting to anybody who likes Drama of the Gifted Child.
Another thing that I found helpful was to re-read Drama of the Gifted Child some time after reading For Your Own Good, to see how much more I was able to learn from it after having some time to react emotionally to what I had read the first time. I learned so much that I was inspired to keep re-reading her books periodically to continue learning more and more.
Initially Alice Miller's claims about the extent of damage done to us by our parents seemed exaggerated to me, and I felt that one should not say such things about parents. After recovering somewhat from my parent's punishment of me for saying the truth to them about themselves during my childhood, I am now able to realize that it is true that the most commonly practiced child-rearing practices devastate us psychologically, and that I need to re-discover what my parents did to me during my childhood and how I felt about it in order to recover my psychological health.
For those who have the ability to heal from the traumas they suffered by feeling the repressed feelings from those traumas, Alice Miller's books provide enough information to provoke a long-term emotional healing process. This healing improves your psychological health, and, she claims, will eventually lead to the re-discovery of your true self, your untraumatized soul. I hope this is true.
Highly recommended.
Alice Miller wrote her second book, For Your Own Good, as a continuation of this book, and I think the detailed examples and analysis she provides in the second book will be very interesting to anybody who likes Drama of the Gifted Child.
Another thing that I found helpful was to re-read Drama of the Gifted Child some time after reading For Your Own Good, to see how much more I was able to learn from it after having some time to react emotionally to what I had read the first time. I learned so much that I was inspired to keep re-reading her books periodically to continue learning more and more.
Initially Alice Miller's claims about the extent of damage done to us by our parents seemed exaggerated to me, and I felt that one should not say such things about parents. After recovering somewhat from my parent's punishment of me for saying the truth to them about themselves during my childhood, I am now able to realize that it is true that the most commonly practiced child-rearing practices devastate us psychologically, and that I need to re-discover what my parents did to me during my childhood and how I felt about it in order to recover my psychological health.
For those who have the ability to heal from the traumas they suffered by feeling the repressed feelings from those traumas, Alice Miller's books provide enough information to provoke a long-term emotional healing process. This healing improves your psychological health, and, she claims, will eventually lead to the re-discovery of your true self, your untraumatized soul. I hope this is true.
Highly recommended.
June 28, 2018
Fazla 莽谋kar谋m yapamad谋臒谋m bir kitapt谋. 艦unuda s枚ylemeliyim ki ki艧isel geli艧im sevmiyorum ben.
March 14, 2025
賴賲蹖卮賴 丌賳 賯丿乇 讴賴 丕丨爻丕爻 賲蹖讴賳蹖賲 诏賳丕賴讴丕乇 賴爻鬲蹖賲 诏賳丕賴讴丕乇 賳蹖爻鬲蹖賲 賵 賴賲趩賳蹖賳 丌賳 賯丿乇 讴賴 丿賵爻鬲 丿丕乇蹖賲 賲毓氐賵賲 亘丕卮蹖賲 賲毓氐賵賲 賳蹖爻鬲蹖賲.
賲鬲毓丕賯亘 蹖賴 爻乇蹖 氐丨亘鬲 賴丕 賵 亘丨孬 賴丕 亘丕 蹖讴 丕夭 丿賵爻鬲丕賳賲 趩賳丿蹖賳 賵賯鬲 倬蹖卮貙 亘毓丿 丕夭 賲毓乇賮蹖卮貙 鬲氐賲蹖賲 诏乇賮鬲賴 亘賵丿賲 丕蹖賳 乇賵 亘禺賵賳賲 讴賴 賵賯賮賴鈥屫й� 丕賮鬲丕丿 賵 亘丕賱丕禺乇賴 丿賵亘丕乇賴 禺賵賳丿賲卮.
讴鬲丕亘 丨乇賮 賴丕蹖 夭蹖丕丿蹖 賲蹖夭丿. 賳賲蹖禺賵丕爻鬲 丿賳亘丕賱 乇丕賴讴丕乇 亘乇禺賵乇丿蹖 亘乇丕 乇賵丕賳鈥屫辟呚з嗂臂� 亘丕卮蹖 鬲丕 亘賴 丿乇丿鬲 亘禺賵乇賴貨 蹖賴 噩賵乇 賳賵卮鬲賴 亘賵丿 讴賴 賲蹖禺賵丕爻鬲 賲禺丕胤亘卮 賴賲賴 亘丕卮賳丿. 丨丕賱丕 丿乇 胤蹖 禺賵賳丿賳 蹖讴賲 丨爻 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗃� 賳賵卮鬲賴 賴丕蹖卮 亘丕蹖丕爻 丿丕乇賳丿 賵賱蹖 丕蹖賳讴賴 丕賵賳 賲賵賯毓 丕賵賲丿賴 趩賳蹖賳 趩蹖夭蹖 乇賵 賳賵卮鬲賴 乇賵 丿賵爻鬲 丿丕卮鬲賲. 賲蹖鈥屫堎嗁� 亘乇丕 賴乇 讴爻蹖 丿乇 丨丿蹖 賲賮蹖丿 亘卮賴. 丕夭卮 賳賵鬲 夭蹖丕丿 亘乇丿丕卮鬲賲 讴賴 亘丕 讴鬲丕亘鈥屬囏й� 鬲禺氐氐蹖鈥屫� 亘蹖卮鬲乇 賲賯丕蹖爻賴 讴賳賲 賵 蹖賴 爻乇蹖 賲賯丕蹖爻賴 賴丕 噩丕賱亘 亘賵丿賳丿貙 蹖賴 爻乇蹖卮 亘賲賵賳賴 亘乇丕 亘毓丿丕.
賳賯胤賴 賲賯丕亘賱 賵丕賯毓蹖 丕賮爻乇丿诏蹖 賳賴 卮丕丿賲丕賳蹖 賵 賳賴 賮賯丿丕賳 丿乇丿 亘賱讴賴 爻乇夭賳丿诏蹖 丕爻鬲貨 蹖毓賳蹖 丿丕卮鬲賳 丌夭丕丿蹖 毓賲賱 亘乇丕蹖 亘乇賵夭 丕丨爻丕爻丕鬲 禺賵丿噩賵卮.
鬲乇噩賲賴 賮丕乇爻蹖卮 賴賲 禺賵亘 亘賵丿 賵 丕夭 丕賵賳噩丕蹖蹖 讴賴 賮丕蹖賱 丕賵丿蹖賵蹖 丕賳诏賱蹖爻蹖賲 賳氐賮賴 亘賵丿 亘乇诏卮鬲賲 賮丕乇爻蹖 乇賵 丕夭 丕賵賱 禺賵賳丿賲.
趩賳丿鬲丕 讴鬲丕亘 賴賲 丿丕禺賱卮 賲毓乇賮蹖 讴乇丿 讴賴 卮丕蹖丿 亘毓丿丕 爻乇丕睾卮賵賳 亘乇賲.
賲賱蹖 诏乇丕蹖蹖 賵 賳跇丕丿倬乇爻鬲蹖 賵 賮丕卮蹖爻賲 丿乇 賵丕賯毓 趩蹖夭蹖 賳蹖爻鬲賳丿 噩夭 馗丕賴乇蹖 丕蹖丿卅賵賱賵跇蹖讴 丕夭 诏乇蹖夭 丕夭 禺丕胤乇丕鬲 丿乇丿賳丕讴 賵 賳丕禺賵丿丌诏丕賴 鬲丨賯蹖乇賴丕蹖 丿蹖诏乇丕賳 賵 倬賳丕賴 亘乇丿賳 亘賴 賳賵毓蹖 亘蹖 丕丨鬲乇丕賲蹖 禺胤乇賳丕讴 賵 賵蹖乇丕賳诏乇 賳爻亘鬲 亘賴 夭賳丿诏蹖 亘卮乇蹖 讴賴 亘賴 毓賳賵丕賳 蹖讴 亘乇賳丕賲賴 爻蹖丕爻蹖 爻鬲賵丿賴 賲蹖卮賵丿.
丕爻賮賳丿 郾鄞郯鄢
April 16, 2019
"The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven's lieutenants.鈥� - William Shakespeare
Psychology writer and therapist Alice Miller's classic book is a must read for anyone who has a interest in psychology and childhood trauma/abuse. Written in 1978, it is brilliant and life-changing at little over one-hundred pages.
The author, Alice Miller was forced to live in Warsaw as a Jewish girl living under a false name in World War Two. She was a victim of the holocaust and never recovered completely from it as her father died in the Warsaw Ghetto. Alice was never able to completely talk about her devastating experience with her friends and family. She spent her life and career trying to understand how the German people could have followed Hitler and went along with his murderous plans.
In her outstanding book, she delves into childhood and how your parents behavior has shaped you. It is very painful in that she insists that the reader must accept their parents behavior and accept it for what it really is. She also makes you examine your own parenting. I really liked that part where she discusses children having to repress their own needs to appease their parents. She also comes down very hard on society and believes that all criminals were infants/children who were emotionally, sexually or physically abused and repressed it. An unwanted child leads a life of despair and furthermore is most likely incapable of love.
When you read this book, you will come face to face with your own childhood and start the journey to your own story. This is a book you might find yourself reading and processing, a few times over the years. This is a four plus star book.
Psychology writer and therapist Alice Miller's classic book is a must read for anyone who has a interest in psychology and childhood trauma/abuse. Written in 1978, it is brilliant and life-changing at little over one-hundred pages.
The author, Alice Miller was forced to live in Warsaw as a Jewish girl living under a false name in World War Two. She was a victim of the holocaust and never recovered completely from it as her father died in the Warsaw Ghetto. Alice was never able to completely talk about her devastating experience with her friends and family. She spent her life and career trying to understand how the German people could have followed Hitler and went along with his murderous plans.
In her outstanding book, she delves into childhood and how your parents behavior has shaped you. It is very painful in that she insists that the reader must accept their parents behavior and accept it for what it really is. She also makes you examine your own parenting. I really liked that part where she discusses children having to repress their own needs to appease their parents. She also comes down very hard on society and believes that all criminals were infants/children who were emotionally, sexually or physically abused and repressed it. An unwanted child leads a life of despair and furthermore is most likely incapable of love.
When you read this book, you will come face to face with your own childhood and start the journey to your own story. This is a book you might find yourself reading and processing, a few times over the years. This is a four plus star book.
June 23, 2024
讴賵丿讴 丌夭丕乇丿蹖丿賴 賲賳
讴賵鈥屫� 胤乇丿 卮丿賴 賲賳
丕蹖 賲賳賽 鬲乇爻蹖丿賴 賵 爻乇讴賵亘 卮丿賴!
鬲賵 亘禺卮蹖 丕夭 賲賳蹖貙 鬲賵 禺賵丿賽 賲賳蹖 賵 賲賳 鬲賵 乇丕 亘賴 乇爻賲蹖鬲 賲蹖鈥屫促嗀ж迟呚� 丿賵爻鬲 賲蹖鈥屫ж辟� 賵 丿乇 丌睾賵卮 賲蹖鈥屭屫辟�
賴乇 趩賳丿 賯亘賱丕 讴爻丕賳蹖 讴賴 亘丕蹖丿 鬲賵 乇丕 丿賵爻鬲 賳丿丕卮鬲賳丿.
亘賱賴 賲賳馗賵乇賲 丕夭 讴爻丕賳 倬丿乇 賵 賲丕丿乇 賲丕爻鬲.
丿蹖诏乇 鬲賵 乇丕 賳丕丿蹖丿賴 賳賲蹖鈥屭屫辟� 賵 丕夭 賲賵丕噩賴 卮丿賳 亘丕 丿賱賴乇賴 賴丕蹖 丌賳 亘禺卮 丕夭 夭賳丿诏蹖鈥屫з� 賴乇丕爻蹖 賳丿丕乇賲
賴乇 趩賳丿 爻禺鬲
賴乇 趩賳丿 丿乇丿賳丕讴
丕賲丕 鬲丕亘 乇賵亘賴鈥屫辟� 卮丿賳 賵 倬匕蹖乇卮 鬲賵 乇丕 倬蹖丿丕 讴乇丿賴鈥屫з�
丿蹖诏乇 倬鬲讴 爻乇讴賵亘賲 乇丕 亘乇 爻乇 禺賵丿賲 賳賲蹖鈥屫操嗁�
亘乇 爻乇 毓賵丕賲賱 丕蹖賳 丌爻蹖亘 賴丕 賴賲 賳賲蹖鈥屫操嗁呚� 丕賲丕 賴蹖趩 賵賯鬲 丌賳鈥屬囏� 乇丕 賳賲蹖鈥屫ㄘ促� 賵 鬲丕 賴賲蹖卮賴 丌賳鈥屬囏� 乇丕 賲丨讴賵賲 賵 賲爻卅賵賱 氐丿賴丕 爻乇禺賵乇丿诏蹖貙 蹖兀爻 賵 倬賵趩蹖 丕賲乇賵夭 禺賵丿 賲蹖鈥屫ㄛ屬嗁�.
丕诏乇 爻賵丕丿 鬲乇亘蹖鬲 賮乇夭賳丿 賳丿丕乇蹖丿 丨賯 賳丿丕乇蹖丿 亘趩賴 丿丕乇 卮賵蹖丿.
賴賲丕賳鈥屫焚堌� 讴賴 丕诏乇 诏賵丕賴蹖賳丕賲賴 禺賱亘丕賳蹖 賳丿丕乇蹖丿 丕噩丕夭賴 賳丿丕乇蹖丿 賴賵丕倬蹖賲丕蹖蹖 乇丕 亘賴 倬乇賵丕夭 丿乇丌賵乇蹖丿.
賵賯鬲蹖 亘鬲賵丕賳蹖賲 亘賴 毓賲賯 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏� 賵 讴丕爻鬲蹖鈥屬囏й� 丿賵乇丕賳 讴賵丿讴蹖 卮蹖乇噩賴 亘夭賳蹖賲 丿蹖诏乇 亘丿賵賳 賴蹖噩 鬲丕亘賵蹖蹖 賲蹖鈥屫堌з嗃屬� 毓賲賱讴乇丿 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 賳丕丌诏丕賴 禺賵丿 乇丕 賳賯丿 讴賳蹖賲.
讴丕卮 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 賲丕 賲蹖鈥屫з嗀池嗀� 趩賴 鬲丕孬蹖乇蹖 亘乇 賲丕 丿丕乇賳丿 賵 賯亘賱 丕夭 賴乇 讴丕乇蹖 亘蹖卮鬲乇 賮讴乇 賲蹖鈥屭┴必嗀�.
丕丨鬲賲丕賱丕 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 卮丿蹖丿丕 卮賲丕 乇丕 鬲讴丕賳 禺賵丕賴丿 丿丕丿.
胤賵乇蹖 讴賴 賳鬲賵丕賳蹖丿 賲孬賱 賯亘賱 賮讴乇 讴賳蹖丿. 丌诏丕賴蹖鈥屫ㄘ篡� 氐乇賮 丿乇亘丕乇賴 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏й� 丿賵乇丕賳 讴賵丿讴蹖 丿乇 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 賳賲蹖鈥屫堌з嗀� 賲爻卅賱賴 乇丕 亘乇胤乇賮 賵 丨丕賱 賲丕 乇丕 丿乇 亘賱賳丿 賲丿鬲 亘賴鬲乇 讴賳丿. 趩乇丕 讴賴 亘賴 诏賮鬲賴 禺賵丿 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 亘丕蹖丿 丿乇丿 丿乇 丕鬲丕賯 丿乇賲丕賳 匕乇賴 匕乇賴 丨爻 卮賵丿. 亘賴 胤賵乇蹖 讴賴 丕乇鬲亘丕胤 丕丨爻丕爻蹖 亘丕 賱丨馗賴 丌爻蹖亘 亘乇賯乇丕乇 卮丿賴 賵 賲乇丕噩毓 禺賵丿 乇丕 丿乇 丌賳 賱丨馗賴 賵鈥� 亘丕 丨囟賵乇 丌爻蹖亘 夭賳賳丿诏丕賳 鬲氐賵乇 讴賳丿.
丕蹖賳 讴丕乇 亘爻蹖丕乇 乇賳噩鈥屫①堌� 丕爻鬲. 亘賴 胤賵乇蹖 讴賴 丿乇 賴賲蹖賳 賱丨馗賴 讴賴 丕蹖賳 賲鬲賳 乇丕 賲蹖鈥屬嗁堐屫迟� 丿爻鬲丕賳 賵 趩卮賲丕賳賲 賲蹖鈥屬勜必藏�. 丕賲丕 鬲噩乇亘賴鈥屫ж� 亘乇丕蹖賲 亘爻蹖丕乇 爻賵丿賲賳丿 亘賵丿 賵 丕夭 趩蹖夭賴丕 賵 讴爻丕賳蹖 鬲賵丕賳爻鬲賲 诏匕乇 讴賳賲 讴賴 丕賳噩丕賲卮 亘乇丕蹖賲 賲丨丕賱 亘賵丿.
乇賵丕賳鈥屫辟呚з嗃� 亘丕蹖丿 胤賵乇蹖 亘丕卮丿 讴賴 蹖丕丿 亘诏蹖乇蹖賲 賳爻亘鬲 亘賴 禺賵丿賲丕賳 丿賱爻賵夭蹖 讴賳蹖賲 鬲丕 蹖讴倬丕乇诏蹖 卮禺氐蹖鬲 禺賵丿 乇丕 亘丕夭蹖丕亘蹖賲.
亘乇丕蹖 賴賲賴 讴爻丕賳蹖 讴賴 鬲丨鬲 丿乇賲丕賳 賴爻鬲賳丿貙 讴爻丕賳蹖 讴賴 乇賵丕賳鈥屫辟呚з嗃� 乇丕 卮乇賵毓 賳讴乇丿賴 蹖丕 丿乇 亘乇丕亘乇 丌賳 诏丕乇丿 丿丕乇賳丿 賵 丨鬲蹖 乇賵丕賳鈥屫辟呚з嗂必з� 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 蹖讴 囟乇賵乇鬲 丕爻鬲.
讴賵鈥屫� 胤乇丿 卮丿賴 賲賳
丕蹖 賲賳賽 鬲乇爻蹖丿賴 賵 爻乇讴賵亘 卮丿賴!
鬲賵 亘禺卮蹖 丕夭 賲賳蹖貙 鬲賵 禺賵丿賽 賲賳蹖 賵 賲賳 鬲賵 乇丕 亘賴 乇爻賲蹖鬲 賲蹖鈥屫促嗀ж迟呚� 丿賵爻鬲 賲蹖鈥屫ж辟� 賵 丿乇 丌睾賵卮 賲蹖鈥屭屫辟�
賴乇 趩賳丿 賯亘賱丕 讴爻丕賳蹖 讴賴 亘丕蹖丿 鬲賵 乇丕 丿賵爻鬲 賳丿丕卮鬲賳丿.
亘賱賴 賲賳馗賵乇賲 丕夭 讴爻丕賳 倬丿乇 賵 賲丕丿乇 賲丕爻鬲.
丿蹖诏乇 鬲賵 乇丕 賳丕丿蹖丿賴 賳賲蹖鈥屭屫辟� 賵 丕夭 賲賵丕噩賴 卮丿賳 亘丕 丿賱賴乇賴 賴丕蹖 丌賳 亘禺卮 丕夭 夭賳丿诏蹖鈥屫з� 賴乇丕爻蹖 賳丿丕乇賲
賴乇 趩賳丿 爻禺鬲
賴乇 趩賳丿 丿乇丿賳丕讴
丕賲丕 鬲丕亘 乇賵亘賴鈥屫辟� 卮丿賳 賵 倬匕蹖乇卮 鬲賵 乇丕 倬蹖丿丕 讴乇丿賴鈥屫з�
丿蹖诏乇 倬鬲讴 爻乇讴賵亘賲 乇丕 亘乇 爻乇 禺賵丿賲 賳賲蹖鈥屫操嗁�
亘乇 爻乇 毓賵丕賲賱 丕蹖賳 丌爻蹖亘 賴丕 賴賲 賳賲蹖鈥屫操嗁呚� 丕賲丕 賴蹖趩 賵賯鬲 丌賳鈥屬囏� 乇丕 賳賲蹖鈥屫ㄘ促� 賵 鬲丕 賴賲蹖卮賴 丌賳鈥屬囏� 乇丕 賲丨讴賵賲 賵 賲爻卅賵賱 氐丿賴丕 爻乇禺賵乇丿诏蹖貙 蹖兀爻 賵 倬賵趩蹖 丕賲乇賵夭 禺賵丿 賲蹖鈥屫ㄛ屬嗁�.
丕诏乇 爻賵丕丿 鬲乇亘蹖鬲 賮乇夭賳丿 賳丿丕乇蹖丿 丨賯 賳丿丕乇蹖丿 亘趩賴 丿丕乇 卮賵蹖丿.
賴賲丕賳鈥屫焚堌� 讴賴 丕诏乇 诏賵丕賴蹖賳丕賲賴 禺賱亘丕賳蹖 賳丿丕乇蹖丿 丕噩丕夭賴 賳丿丕乇蹖丿 賴賵丕倬蹖賲丕蹖蹖 乇丕 亘賴 倬乇賵丕夭 丿乇丌賵乇蹖丿.
賵賯鬲蹖 亘鬲賵丕賳蹖賲 亘賴 毓賲賯 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏� 賵 讴丕爻鬲蹖鈥屬囏й� 丿賵乇丕賳 讴賵丿讴蹖 卮蹖乇噩賴 亘夭賳蹖賲 丿蹖诏乇 亘丿賵賳 賴蹖噩 鬲丕亘賵蹖蹖 賲蹖鈥屫堌з嗃屬� 毓賲賱讴乇丿 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 賳丕丌诏丕賴 禺賵丿 乇丕 賳賯丿 讴賳蹖賲.
讴丕卮 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 賲丕 賲蹖鈥屫з嗀池嗀� 趩賴 鬲丕孬蹖乇蹖 亘乇 賲丕 丿丕乇賳丿 賵 賯亘賱 丕夭 賴乇 讴丕乇蹖 亘蹖卮鬲乇 賮讴乇 賲蹖鈥屭┴必嗀�.
丕丨鬲賲丕賱丕 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 卮丿蹖丿丕 卮賲丕 乇丕 鬲讴丕賳 禺賵丕賴丿 丿丕丿.
胤賵乇蹖 讴賴 賳鬲賵丕賳蹖丿 賲孬賱 賯亘賱 賮讴乇 讴賳蹖丿. 丌诏丕賴蹖鈥屫ㄘ篡� 氐乇賮 丿乇亘丕乇賴 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏й� 丿賵乇丕賳 讴賵丿讴蹖 丿乇 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 賳賲蹖鈥屫堌з嗀� 賲爻卅賱賴 乇丕 亘乇胤乇賮 賵 丨丕賱 賲丕 乇丕 丿乇 亘賱賳丿 賲丿鬲 亘賴鬲乇 讴賳丿. 趩乇丕 讴賴 亘賴 诏賮鬲賴 禺賵丿 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 亘丕蹖丿 丿乇丿 丿乇 丕鬲丕賯 丿乇賲丕賳 匕乇賴 匕乇賴 丨爻 卮賵丿. 亘賴 胤賵乇蹖 讴賴 丕乇鬲亘丕胤 丕丨爻丕爻蹖 亘丕 賱丨馗賴 丌爻蹖亘 亘乇賯乇丕乇 卮丿賴 賵 賲乇丕噩毓 禺賵丿 乇丕 丿乇 丌賳 賱丨馗賴 賵鈥� 亘丕 丨囟賵乇 丌爻蹖亘 夭賳賳丿诏丕賳 鬲氐賵乇 讴賳丿.
丕蹖賳 讴丕乇 亘爻蹖丕乇 乇賳噩鈥屫①堌� 丕爻鬲. 亘賴 胤賵乇蹖 讴賴 丿乇 賴賲蹖賳 賱丨馗賴 讴賴 丕蹖賳 賲鬲賳 乇丕 賲蹖鈥屬嗁堐屫迟� 丿爻鬲丕賳 賵 趩卮賲丕賳賲 賲蹖鈥屬勜必藏�. 丕賲丕 鬲噩乇亘賴鈥屫ж� 亘乇丕蹖賲 亘爻蹖丕乇 爻賵丿賲賳丿 亘賵丿 賵 丕夭 趩蹖夭賴丕 賵 讴爻丕賳蹖 鬲賵丕賳爻鬲賲 诏匕乇 讴賳賲 讴賴 丕賳噩丕賲卮 亘乇丕蹖賲 賲丨丕賱 亘賵丿.
乇賵丕賳鈥屫辟呚з嗃� 亘丕蹖丿 胤賵乇蹖 亘丕卮丿 讴賴 蹖丕丿 亘诏蹖乇蹖賲 賳爻亘鬲 亘賴 禺賵丿賲丕賳 丿賱爻賵夭蹖 讴賳蹖賲 鬲丕 蹖讴倬丕乇诏蹖 卮禺氐蹖鬲 禺賵丿 乇丕 亘丕夭蹖丕亘蹖賲.
亘乇丕蹖 賴賲賴 讴爻丕賳蹖 讴賴 鬲丨鬲 丿乇賲丕賳 賴爻鬲賳丿貙 讴爻丕賳蹖 讴賴 乇賵丕賳鈥屫辟呚з嗃� 乇丕 卮乇賵毓 賳讴乇丿賴 蹖丕 丿乇 亘乇丕亘乇 丌賳 诏丕乇丿 丿丕乇賳丿 賵 丨鬲蹖 乇賵丕賳鈥屫辟呚з嗂必з� 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 蹖讴 囟乇賵乇鬲 丕爻鬲.
August 3, 2020
螛伪 蟿慰 胃苇蟽蠅 魏维蟺蠅蟼 渭蟺伪魏伪位委蟽蟿喂魏伪. 螒蟼 蠀蟺慰胃苇蟽慰蠀渭蔚 蠈蟿喂 蠀蟺维蟻蠂慰蠀谓 未蠉慰 魏伪蟿畏纬慰蟻委蔚蟼 蔚谓畏位委魏蠅谓. 螒蠀蟿慰委 蟺慰蠀 蔚委蠂伪谓 蔚蠀蟿蠀蠂喂蟽渭苇谓伪 蟺伪喂未喂魏维 蠂蟻蠈谓喂伪 魏伪喂 伪蠀蟿慰委 蟺慰蠀 未蔚谓. 危蔚 蟺慰喂慰蠀蟼 伪蟺蔚蠀胃蠉谓蔚蟿伪喂 蟿慰蠉蟿慰 蔚未蠋 蟿慰 尾喂尾位委慰? 危蔚 蠈位慰蠀蟼! 螒位位维 蟺喂慰 蟺慰位蠉 蟽蔚 伪蠀蟿慰蠉蟼 蟺慰蠀 蠀蟺慰胃苇蟿慰蠀谓 蠈蟿喂 蔚委蠂伪谓 蔚蠀蟿蠀蠂喂蟽渭苇谓伪 蟺伪喂未喂魏维 蠂蟻蠈谓喂伪 伪位位维 魏维蟿喂 蟿慰蠀蟼 尾蟻蠅渭维蔚喂.
惟蟺! 螠伪 蟺慰蠀 魏蟻蠉尾慰谓蟿伪喂 伪蠀蟿慰委?
螘委谓伪喂 伪蠀蟿维 蟿伪 蟺伪喂未喂维 蟺慰蠀 蠈蟺蠅蟼 蟺慰位蠉 蠂伪蟻伪魏蟿畏蟻喂蟽蟿喂魏维 伪谓伪蠁苇蟻蔚蟿伪喂 蟽蔚 苇谓伪 蟺伪蟻维未蔚喂纬渭伪 蟿慰蠀 尾喂尾位委慰蠀:
"味慰蠉蟽伪 蟽蔚 苇谓伪 蟽蟺委蟿喂 伪蟺蠈 纬蠀伪位委, 渭苇蟽伪 蟽蟿慰 慰蟺慰委慰 畏 渭畏蟿苇蟻伪 渭慰蠀 渭蟺慰蟻慰蠉蟽蔚 谓伪 魏慰喂蟿维尉蔚喂 慰蟺慰喂伪未萎蟺慰蟿蔚 蟽蟿喂纬渭萎 萎胃蔚位蔚. 螠苇蟽伪 蟽蔚 苇谓伪 纬蠀维位喂谓慰 蟽蟺委蟿喂, 蠈渭蠅蟼, 未蔚谓 渭蟺慰蟻蔚委蟼 谓伪 魏蟻蠉蠄蔚喂蟼 蟿委蟺慰蟿伪 蠂蠅蟻委蟼 谓伪 蟽蔚 伪谓伪魏伪位蠉蠄慰蠀谓, 蔚魏蟿蠈蟼 魏喂 伪谓 蟿慰 魏蟻蠉蠄蔚喂蟼 魏维蟿蠅 伪蟺蠈 蟿慰 苇未伪蠁慰蟼. 螒位位维 蟿蠈蟿蔚 未蔚谓 渭蟺慰蟻蔚委蟼 蟺喂伪 谓伪 蟿慰 未蔚喂蟼 慰蠉蟿蔚 魏喂 蔚蟽蠉".
螖蔚谓 苇蠂蔚喂 蟽畏渭伪蟽委伪 伪谓 蔚委蟽伪喂 萎 伪谓 蟽魏慰蟺蔚蠉蔚喂蟼 谓伪 纬委谓蔚喂蟼 纬慰谓喂蠈蟼 萎 蠈蠂喂. 螕喂伪蟿委, 渭维谓蟿蔚蠄蔚! 螆蠂蔚喂蟼 萎未畏 苇谓伪 蟺伪喂未委!
螤蟻蠈魏蔚喂蟿伪喂 纬喂伪 苇谓伪 尾喂尾位委慰 蟺慰蠀 未喂伪尾维味蔚蟿伪喂 蟺伪谓蔚蠉魏慰位伪. 螠蔚 蟺慰位位维 蟺伪蟻伪未蔚委纬渭伪蟿伪, 纬蟻伪渭渭苇谓慰 伪蟺位维 魏伪喂 魏伪蟿伪谓慰畏蟿维. 螛蔚蠅蟻蠋 蠈蟿喂 伪尉委味蔚喂 谓伪 未喂伪尾伪蟽蟿蔚委 伪蟺蠈 蠈位慰蠀蟼. 螚 魏蠀蟻委伪 Miller 苇蠂蔚喂 魏维谓蔚喂 蔚尉伪喂蟻蔚蟿喂魏萎 未慰蠀位蔚喂维 蔚未蠋.
螝伪喂 伪谓 蔚谓 蟿苇位蔚喂 伪谓伪魏伪位蠉蠄蔚喂蟼 魏维蟿喂 蟿蟻慰渭伪魏蟿喂魏蠈, 谓伪 胃蠀渭维蟽伪喂 蠈蟿喂, 蠈蟺蠅蟼 位苇蔚喂 魏伪喂 慰 蠁委位慰蟼 渭伪蟼 慰 Tom 蟽蟿慰谓 韦蟻蠀蟺慰魏维蟻蠀未蠈 蟿慰蠀: "蟺慰蟿苇 未蔚谓 蔚委谓伪喂 伪蟻纬维 纬喂伪 谓伪 味萎蟽蔚喂 魏伪谓蔚委蟼 蔚蠀蟿蠀蠂喂蟽渭苇谓伪 蟺伪喂未喂魏维 蠂蟻蠈谓喂伪".
惟蟺! 螠伪 蟺慰蠀 魏蟻蠉尾慰谓蟿伪喂 伪蠀蟿慰委?
螘委谓伪喂 伪蠀蟿维 蟿伪 蟺伪喂未喂维 蟺慰蠀 蠈蟺蠅蟼 蟺慰位蠉 蠂伪蟻伪魏蟿畏蟻喂蟽蟿喂魏维 伪谓伪蠁苇蟻蔚蟿伪喂 蟽蔚 苇谓伪 蟺伪蟻维未蔚喂纬渭伪 蟿慰蠀 尾喂尾位委慰蠀:
"味慰蠉蟽伪 蟽蔚 苇谓伪 蟽蟺委蟿喂 伪蟺蠈 纬蠀伪位委, 渭苇蟽伪 蟽蟿慰 慰蟺慰委慰 畏 渭畏蟿苇蟻伪 渭慰蠀 渭蟺慰蟻慰蠉蟽蔚 谓伪 魏慰喂蟿维尉蔚喂 慰蟺慰喂伪未萎蟺慰蟿蔚 蟽蟿喂纬渭萎 萎胃蔚位蔚. 螠苇蟽伪 蟽蔚 苇谓伪 纬蠀维位喂谓慰 蟽蟺委蟿喂, 蠈渭蠅蟼, 未蔚谓 渭蟺慰蟻蔚委蟼 谓伪 魏蟻蠉蠄蔚喂蟼 蟿委蟺慰蟿伪 蠂蠅蟻委蟼 谓伪 蟽蔚 伪谓伪魏伪位蠉蠄慰蠀谓, 蔚魏蟿蠈蟼 魏喂 伪谓 蟿慰 魏蟻蠉蠄蔚喂蟼 魏维蟿蠅 伪蟺蠈 蟿慰 苇未伪蠁慰蟼. 螒位位维 蟿蠈蟿蔚 未蔚谓 渭蟺慰蟻蔚委蟼 蟺喂伪 谓伪 蟿慰 未蔚喂蟼 慰蠉蟿蔚 魏喂 蔚蟽蠉".
螖蔚谓 苇蠂蔚喂 蟽畏渭伪蟽委伪 伪谓 蔚委蟽伪喂 萎 伪谓 蟽魏慰蟺蔚蠉蔚喂蟼 谓伪 纬委谓蔚喂蟼 纬慰谓喂蠈蟼 萎 蠈蠂喂. 螕喂伪蟿委, 渭维谓蟿蔚蠄蔚! 螆蠂蔚喂蟼 萎未畏 苇谓伪 蟺伪喂未委!
螤蟻蠈魏蔚喂蟿伪喂 纬喂伪 苇谓伪 尾喂尾位委慰 蟺慰蠀 未喂伪尾维味蔚蟿伪喂 蟺伪谓蔚蠉魏慰位伪. 螠蔚 蟺慰位位维 蟺伪蟻伪未蔚委纬渭伪蟿伪, 纬蟻伪渭渭苇谓慰 伪蟺位维 魏伪喂 魏伪蟿伪谓慰畏蟿维. 螛蔚蠅蟻蠋 蠈蟿喂 伪尉委味蔚喂 谓伪 未喂伪尾伪蟽蟿蔚委 伪蟺蠈 蠈位慰蠀蟼. 螚 魏蠀蟻委伪 Miller 苇蠂蔚喂 魏维谓蔚喂 蔚尉伪喂蟻蔚蟿喂魏萎 未慰蠀位蔚喂维 蔚未蠋.
螝伪喂 伪谓 蔚谓 蟿苇位蔚喂 伪谓伪魏伪位蠉蠄蔚喂蟼 魏维蟿喂 蟿蟻慰渭伪魏蟿喂魏蠈, 谓伪 胃蠀渭维蟽伪喂 蠈蟿喂, 蠈蟺蠅蟼 位苇蔚喂 魏伪喂 慰 蠁委位慰蟼 渭伪蟼 慰 Tom 蟽蟿慰谓 韦蟻蠀蟺慰魏维蟻蠀未蠈 蟿慰蠀: "蟺慰蟿苇 未蔚谓 蔚委谓伪喂 伪蟻纬维 纬喂伪 谓伪 味萎蟽蔚喂 魏伪谓蔚委蟼 蔚蠀蟿蠀蠂喂蟽渭苇谓伪 蟺伪喂未喂魏维 蠂蟻蠈谓喂伪".
May 16, 2018
One of the most important books in my life.
August 13, 2019
鬲毓乇蹖賮 蹖讴 讴鬲丕亘 禺賵亘 诏賲丕賳賲 丕蹖賳 丕爻鬲: 芦讴鬲丕亘蹖 讴賴 亘丕 禺賵丕賳丿賳卮 噩賴丕賳 乇丕 噩賵乇 丿蹖诏乇蹖 賲蹖鈥屫ㄛ屬嗃屬吢�. 讴鬲丕亘 丌賱蹖爻 賲蹖賱乇 丕夭 賴賲蹖賳 丿爻鬲 讴鬲丕亘鈥屬囏� 爻鬲貨 丕孬乇蹖 讴賴 賲賴賲鈥屫臂屬� 丕禺鬲賱丕賱丕鬲 乇賵丕賳蹖 乇丕 亘丕 讴賵丿讴蹖賽 賴乇 賮乇丿 賵 亘賴 乇丕亘胤賴鈥屫ж� 亘丕 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 賲乇鬲亘胤 賲蹖鈥屭┵嗀� 賵 丕夭 賲禺丕胤亘丕賳卮 賲蹖鈥屫堌з囏� 亘丕 禺卮賲 賵 丕賳夭噩丕乇 賵 睾賲鈥屬囏й� 丌賳 丿賵乇丕賳 賲賵丕噩賴 卮賵賳丿 鬲丕 丕爻蹖乇 丌賳 賳賲丕賳賳丿
March 7, 2019
At slightly over a hundred pages, this slim volume addresses the effects of narcissistic parenting and is one of the more highly-regarded works on the subject within the treatment community.
Alice Miller, a Swiss psychologist with twenty years in clinical practice, had come to reject traditional forms of analysis and broke from the theories of Jung and Freud - concluding the standard approach to such emotional injuries left too much power in the parent's court. The primary caretakers (most frequently mothers) were not being held to account for the damage they themselves had suffered and had unconsciously passed on. Holding the perpetrator inviolate, she felt, made it virtually impossible for victims to come to terms with the who and why of their experience and the reality of their plight. The "gifted child" she refers to is the child whose natural gifts were forced underground at an early age because they threatened the parent. Recovery, as Miller perceives it, lies in resurrecting that oppressive dynamic and feeling (frequently for the first time) what could not be felt in childhood without the terrifying loss of a mother's love. Such emotions might include deep pockets of rage, fear, frustration, despair, and a clear sense of danger.
I think this is invaluable material for anyone weighing the prospect of entering therapy. Miller does not sugarcoat the process. Few will describe so precisely what it is for an adult not only to recover those childhood traumas but to re-experience them as that child did, in all their nightmarish proportion. Such an emergence of raw, infantile emotion can prove profoundly shocking to the adult mind. Unhinging. Disabling. And once that Pandora's Box is opened? There's really no way to close it again. This book, in all its fierce revelation, makes an excellent case for the importance of finding the right therapist from the outset - even if it means interviewing five or seven or twelve.
Where I take issue with Miller, and I do take issue here, is in her passionate insistence on the existence of a "true" self. If we are to accommodate influence, distortion, solipsism, and the ever-shifting nexus of authenticity itself, then I suspect a nature can only ever be temporarily true and, if sought on a psychic map, will forever be sailing North, South, East and West, to a bewildering variety of foreign locales - each of which will require the re-establishment of anchorage and the reassessment of our definition of "true." That's my sense of it, anyway, and stands as a minor complaint in the grander scheme of a useful book.
Alice Miller, a Swiss psychologist with twenty years in clinical practice, had come to reject traditional forms of analysis and broke from the theories of Jung and Freud - concluding the standard approach to such emotional injuries left too much power in the parent's court. The primary caretakers (most frequently mothers) were not being held to account for the damage they themselves had suffered and had unconsciously passed on. Holding the perpetrator inviolate, she felt, made it virtually impossible for victims to come to terms with the who and why of their experience and the reality of their plight. The "gifted child" she refers to is the child whose natural gifts were forced underground at an early age because they threatened the parent. Recovery, as Miller perceives it, lies in resurrecting that oppressive dynamic and feeling (frequently for the first time) what could not be felt in childhood without the terrifying loss of a mother's love. Such emotions might include deep pockets of rage, fear, frustration, despair, and a clear sense of danger.
I think this is invaluable material for anyone weighing the prospect of entering therapy. Miller does not sugarcoat the process. Few will describe so precisely what it is for an adult not only to recover those childhood traumas but to re-experience them as that child did, in all their nightmarish proportion. Such an emergence of raw, infantile emotion can prove profoundly shocking to the adult mind. Unhinging. Disabling. And once that Pandora's Box is opened? There's really no way to close it again. This book, in all its fierce revelation, makes an excellent case for the importance of finding the right therapist from the outset - even if it means interviewing five or seven or twelve.
Where I take issue with Miller, and I do take issue here, is in her passionate insistence on the existence of a "true" self. If we are to accommodate influence, distortion, solipsism, and the ever-shifting nexus of authenticity itself, then I suspect a nature can only ever be temporarily true and, if sought on a psychic map, will forever be sailing North, South, East and West, to a bewildering variety of foreign locales - each of which will require the re-establishment of anchorage and the reassessment of our definition of "true." That's my sense of it, anyway, and stands as a minor complaint in the grander scheme of a useful book.
January 30, 2019
賳賵卮鬲賳 乇蹖賵蹖賵 亘乇丕蹖 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 讴丕乇 禺蹖賱蹖 爻禺鬲蹖賴. 丕蹖賳鈥屭┵� 丕夭 讴噩丕卮 卮乇賵毓 讴賳賲貙 丕蹖賳 讴賴 亘诏賲 夭賳丿诏蹖 賲讴鬲賵亘 賲賳 乇賵 丌賱蹖爻 賲蹖賱乇 賳賵卮鬲賴 亘賵丿! 乇丕爻鬲卮 禺賵賳丿賳卮 鬲賵 亘丿鬲乇蹖賳 丨丕賱 乇賵丨蹖 鬲賲丕賲 夭賳丿诏蹖賲 乇賵 賳賲蹖鈥屫堎嗁� 亘丕蹖丿 賲孬亘鬲 鬲賱賯蹖 讴賳賲 蹖丕 賳賴. 亘乇丕蹖 賲賳 讴賴 丕夭 爻亘讴 乇賵丕賳卮賳丕爻蹖 丿賵乇蹖 賲蹖鈥屭┴必呚� 卮乇賵毓 讴乇丿賳卮 爻禺鬲 亘賵丿貙 賵賱蹖 亘丕蹖丿 亘诏賲 讴賴 丕氐賱丕 丕氐賱丕 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 亘丕 讴鬲丕亘鈥屬囏й� 夭乇丿 丕卮鬲亘丕賴 賳诏蹖乇蹖丿 賵 賲孬賱 賲賳 倬蹖卮鈥屫з堌臂� 賳讴賳蹖丿. 丌賱蹖爻 賲蹖賱乇 賲賳 乇賵 亘丕 亘禺卮蹖 丕夭 禺賵丿賲 丌卮賳丕 讴乇丿 讴賴 丕氐賱丕 亘賴 賵噩賵丿卮 丌诏丕賴蹖 賳丿丕卮鬲賲.
讴賵丿讴 丿乇賵賳貙 趩蹖夭蹖 讴賴 爻丕賱鈥屬囏� 賲賵乇丿 卮賲丕鬲鬲貙 馗賱賲 賵 亘蹖鈥屫堌囒� 賯乇丕乇 诏乇賮鬲賴. 賲鬲賵噩賴 卮丿賳 丿賱蹖賱 丕賮爻乇丿诏蹖賲 賵 乇蹖卮賴鈥屰屫жㄛ� 賲爻丕卅賱 禺蹖賱蹖 馗乇蹖賮 丿乇賵賳賲 趩蹖夭蹖 讴賴 卮丕蹖丿 禺蹖賱蹖 丌賲丕丿賴鈥屫ж� 賳亘賵丿賲 賵賱蹖 禺賵卮丨丕賱賲 亘丕賴丕卮 賲賵丕噩賴 卮丿賲.
乇丕爻鬲卮 蹖讴 噩丕賴丕蹖蹖 禺蹖賱蹖 丨賯蹖賯鬲 乇賵 賲蹖鈥屭┵堌ㄛ屫� 鬲賵蹖 氐賵乇鬲鬲. 丕賵賱 讴賴 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 卮乇賵毓 讴乇丿賲 亘賴 鬲賵氐蹖賴 鬲乇丕倬蹖爻鬲貙 20 氐賮丨賴 禺賵賳丿賲 賵 丿蹖丿賲 禺亘 賲孬賱 丕蹖賳鈥屭┵� 讴鬲丕亘 禺賵亘蹖賴! 鬲丕 丕蹖賳鈥屭┵� 讴賲鈥屭┵� 亘賴 噩丕賴丕蹖蹖 乇爻蹖丿 讴賴 賲賳 亘蹖卮鬲乇 5 氐賮丨賴 賳賲蹖鈥屫堎嗀池� 亘禺賵賳賲 趩賵賳 丕蹖賳賯丿乇 亘丕 禺賵丿賲 乇賵鈥屫ㄙ団€屫辟堎� 賲蹖鈥屭┴必� 賵 亘禺卮蹖 丕夭 夭賳丿诏蹖 丕賳讴丕乇卮丿賴鈥屬� 乇賵 賳卮賵賳賲 賲蹖丿丕丿 讴賴 鬲丕 蹖讴 賴賮鬲賴 鬲賵 讴賲丕 亘賵丿賲 賵 丕夭卮 賮丕氐賱賴 賲蹖鈥屭辟佖�.
丕蹖賳 118 氐賮丨賴 禺賵賳丿卮 亘乇丕蹖 賲賳 胤賵賱 讴卮蹖丿貙 趩賵賳 賲賳 馗乇賮蹖鬲 倬匕蹖乇卮 丕蹖賳 賴賲賴 乇賵 蹖讴鈥屫� 賳丿丕卮鬲賲! 賲賳 鬲賵 丕賮爻乇丿诏蹖 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 禺賵賳丿賲 賵 丕氐賱丕 賳賲蹖鈥屫堎嗀池� 爻乇爻乇蹖 丕夭卮 亘诏匕乇賲.
丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 賲賳 賯乇囟 诏乇賮鬲賴 亘賵丿賲貙 賵賱蹖 倬蹖丿丕卮 讴乇丿賲 (亘丕睾 讴鬲丕亘 賳丿丕卮鬲卮). 趩賵賳 賲蹖鈥屫堎嗁� 蹖讴蹖 亘乇丕蹖 禺賵丿賲 亘丕蹖丿 丿丕卮鬲賴 亘丕卮賲 賵 丨鬲賲丕 賲蹖鈥屫堎嗁呚� 亘丕乇賴丕 賵 亘丕乇賴丕貙 趩賵賳 毓蹖賳 蹖讴 讴鬲丕亘 乇丕賴賳賲丕爻鬲 亘乇丕蹖 賲賳.
倬爻 亘賴鬲乇蹖賳 5 爻鬲丕乇賴鈥屰� 丿賳蹖丕 乇賵 亘賴卮 丿丕丿賲!
賵 丕蹖賳 讴賴 亘賴 蹖讴蹖 賲毓乇賮蹖卮 讴乇丿賲 讴賴 丕賲蹖丿賵丕乇賲 亘禺賵賳賴貙 趩賵賳 丕賵賳賲 丕賳丿丕夭賴鈥屰� 賲賳 亘賴卮 丕丨鬲蹖丕噩 丿丕乇賴. 賵 卮丕蹖丿 丕蹖賳 亘夭乇诏鬲乇蹖賳 賴丿蹖賴 亘乇丕卮 亘丕卮賴.
倬.賳: 丨鬲賲丕 鬲乇噩賲賴 讴鬲丕蹖賵賳 夭丕賴丿蹖 亘丕卮賴. 蹖讴 賳爻禺賴 丿蹖诏賴鈥屫ж� 讴賴 丕爻賲卮賲 讴賲蹖 賮乇賯 賲蹖鈥屭┴必� 賵賱蹖 賴賲蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 亘賵丿 乇賵 丕夭 亘丕睾 讴鬲丕亘 禺乇蹖丿賲 賵 丕夭 鬲乇噩賲賴 乇丕囟蹖
賳亘賵丿賲. 讴丕賵乇卮 乇賵 賴賲 丌倬賱賵丿 讴乇丿賲 賴賲蹖賳 丌亘蹖爻鬲
倬.賳 (亘爻蹖丕乇 賲賴賲): 趩蹖夭蹖 讴賴 鬲乇丕倬蹖爻鬲 亘賴 賲賳 诏賮鬲 丕蹖賳賴 讴賴 丕夭賵賳 讴鬲丕亘丕爻鬲 讴賴 亘賴鬲乇賴 倬蹖卮鈥屫操呟屬嗁� 亘乇丕卮 賵噩賵丿 丿丕卮鬲賴 亘丕卮賴 賵 賳禺賵賳丿卮 亘丿賵賳 倬蹖卮鈥屫操呟屬嗁� 賵 蹖丕 亘丿賵賳 讴賲讴 鬲乇丕倬蹖爻鬲 賲賲讴賳賴 讴噩鈥屬佡囐呟� 賵 倬蹖趩蹖丿诏蹖 丕賱讴蹖 丿乇爻鬲 讴賳賴 賵 丕賵囟丕毓 乇賵 亘丿鬲乇 亘讴賳賴.
讴賵丿讴 丿乇賵賳貙 趩蹖夭蹖 讴賴 爻丕賱鈥屬囏� 賲賵乇丿 卮賲丕鬲鬲貙 馗賱賲 賵 亘蹖鈥屫堌囒� 賯乇丕乇 诏乇賮鬲賴. 賲鬲賵噩賴 卮丿賳 丿賱蹖賱 丕賮爻乇丿诏蹖賲 賵 乇蹖卮賴鈥屰屫жㄛ� 賲爻丕卅賱 禺蹖賱蹖 馗乇蹖賮 丿乇賵賳賲 趩蹖夭蹖 讴賴 卮丕蹖丿 禺蹖賱蹖 丌賲丕丿賴鈥屫ж� 賳亘賵丿賲 賵賱蹖 禺賵卮丨丕賱賲 亘丕賴丕卮 賲賵丕噩賴 卮丿賲.
乇丕爻鬲卮 蹖讴 噩丕賴丕蹖蹖 禺蹖賱蹖 丨賯蹖賯鬲 乇賵 賲蹖鈥屭┵堌ㄛ屫� 鬲賵蹖 氐賵乇鬲鬲. 丕賵賱 讴賴 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 卮乇賵毓 讴乇丿賲 亘賴 鬲賵氐蹖賴 鬲乇丕倬蹖爻鬲貙 20 氐賮丨賴 禺賵賳丿賲 賵 丿蹖丿賲 禺亘 賲孬賱 丕蹖賳鈥屭┵� 讴鬲丕亘 禺賵亘蹖賴! 鬲丕 丕蹖賳鈥屭┵� 讴賲鈥屭┵� 亘賴 噩丕賴丕蹖蹖 乇爻蹖丿 讴賴 賲賳 亘蹖卮鬲乇 5 氐賮丨賴 賳賲蹖鈥屫堎嗀池� 亘禺賵賳賲 趩賵賳 丕蹖賳賯丿乇 亘丕 禺賵丿賲 乇賵鈥屫ㄙ団€屫辟堎� 賲蹖鈥屭┴必� 賵 亘禺卮蹖 丕夭 夭賳丿诏蹖 丕賳讴丕乇卮丿賴鈥屬� 乇賵 賳卮賵賳賲 賲蹖丿丕丿 讴賴 鬲丕 蹖讴 賴賮鬲賴 鬲賵 讴賲丕 亘賵丿賲 賵 丕夭卮 賮丕氐賱賴 賲蹖鈥屭辟佖�.
丕蹖賳 118 氐賮丨賴 禺賵賳丿卮 亘乇丕蹖 賲賳 胤賵賱 讴卮蹖丿貙 趩賵賳 賲賳 馗乇賮蹖鬲 倬匕蹖乇卮 丕蹖賳 賴賲賴 乇賵 蹖讴鈥屫� 賳丿丕卮鬲賲! 賲賳 鬲賵 丕賮爻乇丿诏蹖 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 禺賵賳丿賲 賵 丕氐賱丕 賳賲蹖鈥屫堎嗀池� 爻乇爻乇蹖 丕夭卮 亘诏匕乇賲.
丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 賲賳 賯乇囟 诏乇賮鬲賴 亘賵丿賲貙 賵賱蹖 倬蹖丿丕卮 讴乇丿賲 (亘丕睾 讴鬲丕亘 賳丿丕卮鬲卮). 趩賵賳 賲蹖鈥屫堎嗁� 蹖讴蹖 亘乇丕蹖 禺賵丿賲 亘丕蹖丿 丿丕卮鬲賴 亘丕卮賲 賵 丨鬲賲丕 賲蹖鈥屫堎嗁呚� 亘丕乇賴丕 賵 亘丕乇賴丕貙 趩賵賳 毓蹖賳 蹖讴 讴鬲丕亘 乇丕賴賳賲丕爻鬲 亘乇丕蹖 賲賳.
倬爻 亘賴鬲乇蹖賳 5 爻鬲丕乇賴鈥屰� 丿賳蹖丕 乇賵 亘賴卮 丿丕丿賲!
賵 丕蹖賳 讴賴 亘賴 蹖讴蹖 賲毓乇賮蹖卮 讴乇丿賲 讴賴 丕賲蹖丿賵丕乇賲 亘禺賵賳賴貙 趩賵賳 丕賵賳賲 丕賳丿丕夭賴鈥屰� 賲賳 亘賴卮 丕丨鬲蹖丕噩 丿丕乇賴. 賵 卮丕蹖丿 丕蹖賳 亘夭乇诏鬲乇蹖賳 賴丿蹖賴 亘乇丕卮 亘丕卮賴.
倬.賳: 丨鬲賲丕 鬲乇噩賲賴 讴鬲丕蹖賵賳 夭丕賴丿蹖 亘丕卮賴. 蹖讴 賳爻禺賴 丿蹖诏賴鈥屫ж� 讴賴 丕爻賲卮賲 讴賲蹖 賮乇賯 賲蹖鈥屭┴必� 賵賱蹖 賴賲蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 亘賵丿 乇賵 丕夭 亘丕睾 讴鬲丕亘 禺乇蹖丿賲 賵 丕夭 鬲乇噩賲賴 乇丕囟蹖
賳亘賵丿賲. 讴丕賵乇卮 乇賵 賴賲 丌倬賱賵丿 讴乇丿賲 賴賲蹖賳 丌亘蹖爻鬲
倬.賳 (亘爻蹖丕乇 賲賴賲): 趩蹖夭蹖 讴賴 鬲乇丕倬蹖爻鬲 亘賴 賲賳 诏賮鬲 丕蹖賳賴 讴賴 丕夭賵賳 讴鬲丕亘丕爻鬲 讴賴 亘賴鬲乇賴 倬蹖卮鈥屫操呟屬嗁� 亘乇丕卮 賵噩賵丿 丿丕卮鬲賴 亘丕卮賴 賵 賳禺賵賳丿卮 亘丿賵賳 倬蹖卮鈥屫操呟屬嗁� 賵 蹖丕 亘丿賵賳 讴賲讴 鬲乇丕倬蹖爻鬲 賲賲讴賳賴 讴噩鈥屬佡囐呟� 賵 倬蹖趩蹖丿诏蹖 丕賱讴蹖 丿乇爻鬲 讴賳賴 賵 丕賵囟丕毓 乇賵 亘丿鬲乇 亘讴賳賴.
April 18, 2008
I've read a lot a really helpful books that my therapist has recommended to me in the past six months or so. This book is amazing and straight to the point. I would recommend it for anyone that has issues w their parents that they want some perspective on or anyone concerned about possibly passing on the legacy of their own difficulties to their children, however inadvertently. I will read all of Alice Miller's books after reading this one.
December 28, 2009
This book is both brilliant and full of schlock. I know people with the problems she described, people who were never going to be loved for who they were, so either buried themselves in achievement or cut off important parts of themselves. These childhood traumas have crippled them in adulthood. The thing about these people, though, is that their parents were fundamentally flawed and repeated these actions over and over again. Unlike in Miller's book, these were not one-off events.
I think it is great that Miller decided to write about these people, but she took the ideas too far. Babies should have their needs catered to and children should be respected for who they are, but they should not be allowed to "order their mothers around like paschas." It is normal for good, loving parents to need a night off, and it is necessary for them not to indulge their child's every whim. It is called parenting. Also, I do not think it is neurologically possible for someone to remember being sexually abused once at three months old.
Conclusion: This book can give you some real insight if you are willing to wade through a lot of junk.
I think it is great that Miller decided to write about these people, but she took the ideas too far. Babies should have their needs catered to and children should be respected for who they are, but they should not be allowed to "order their mothers around like paschas." It is normal for good, loving parents to need a night off, and it is necessary for them not to indulge their child's every whim. It is called parenting. Also, I do not think it is neurologically possible for someone to remember being sexually abused once at three months old.
Conclusion: This book can give you some real insight if you are willing to wade through a lot of junk.
March 2, 2022
Seems really dated and simplistic, which, given all we've learned about depression since the advent of SSRI's, isn't all that surprising for a book almost 40 years old. I found it useful more for how it helps illustrate the evolution of psychotherapy and how it helped me understand certain things about how therapists I saw approached their practice than for any insight it offered into myself.
Re: the evolution of psychotherapy, I was struck by the focus on mothers and what they do wrong. You would think that most people have only a female parent, that fathers play almost no role in a child's life. This was really brought home to me in this passage:
Notice how she rushes to blame "devout women" for wanting to spoil the pleasure of "their husbands and sons." Did "devout women" in 1877 have much influence over art? Were they allowed to create it? Did they have time to create it when they were also probably busy raising families? Did they write and deliver the sermons about the evils of taverns?
NO. They didn't.
And here's another thing: women both devout and otherwise had good reason to fear when their husbands went to taverns and came home drunk, because drunkenness is a contributing factor to domestic violence against both wives and children. For women who had no independent income, no vote, no say in governance, and who could lose all custody of their children if they left an abusive husband, a primary way to try to keep their children safe from violence was to try to keep their husbands out of taverns.
But sure, the real problem was that these horrible women made four-year-olds feel bad about their unconscious desires to hang out in places full of drunk male adults.
That's just some straight-up misogyny. And considering that misogyny has been one of the things at the root of my depression, a book so steeped in it isn't likely to give me a lot of relief.
The insistence here that depression MUST BE ROOTED IN SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS IN EARLY CHILDHOOD, an idea more recent research undercuts, is also a problem. I had a therapist or two who followed that dogma in ways that probably caused a lot of harm.
A therapist told me the key to my healing was to discover my early childhood trauma. I was like, "Nah, I was a pretty happy little kid; the shit hit the fan around the time my body started changing and boys started getting mean and scary in sixth and seventh grade." She flat-out told me, "You were traumatized as a child, probably through a molestation, and you have to uncover the memory of the trauma."
I actually followed the visualizations she gave me and dutifully went into a meditative state to talk to my seven-year-old self, who told me, when I asked her what was wrong, that she couldn't help me fix the problem I wanted to address because it hadn't happened yet.
When I told my therapist that, she actually got upset at me and insisted I'd just done it wrong. She told me I better uncover a memory of being molested if I wanted to get better. I had very clear memories of my early childhood (something people who have repressed memories typically lack) and I also understand female biology enough to be confident of when certain events happened to me (hint: it was adulthood) and was therefore further confident that I was right about my life and she was wrong. So I fired her.
If someone did that shit now, they'd lose their license. It's completely unethical--and with good reason. While there are certainly people who have recovered memories of being molested in early childhood--one of my good friends experienced that, and it's the only thing that explains certain aspects of his life--there are others who invented memories to please aggressive therapists like the unethical, wrong-headed person I worked with.
In any event, we now know that puberty REALLY FUCKS WITH PEOPLE'S BRAINS. Adolescents are weird. They are super anxious, and there are biological reasons for this. That anxiety can be something they don't grow out of, and there can be biological reasons for that, too. It's not automatically because their parents fucked them up.
So all in all, with its misogyny and its erroneous insistence that adult depression has to be rooted in trauma inflicted by parents on children in early childhood, I think this book does as much harm as good. I'm glad it seems dated and simplistic, since that means psychotherapy is moving on from it.
Re: the evolution of psychotherapy, I was struck by the focus on mothers and what they do wrong. You would think that most people have only a female parent, that fathers play almost no role in a child's life. This was really brought home to me in this passage:
In the Zurich exhibition (1977) to commemorate the centennial of [Hermann] Hesse's birth [in 1877], a picture was displayed that had hung above the little Hermann's bed and that he had grown up with. In this picture, on the right, we see the "good" road to heaven, full of thorns, difficulties, and suffering. On the left, we see the easy, pleasurable road the inevitably leads to hell. Taverns play a prominent part on this road, probably because devout women hoped to keep their husbands and sons away from these wicked places with this threatening representation.[emphasis added]
Notice how she rushes to blame "devout women" for wanting to spoil the pleasure of "their husbands and sons." Did "devout women" in 1877 have much influence over art? Were they allowed to create it? Did they have time to create it when they were also probably busy raising families? Did they write and deliver the sermons about the evils of taverns?
NO. They didn't.
And here's another thing: women both devout and otherwise had good reason to fear when their husbands went to taverns and came home drunk, because drunkenness is a contributing factor to domestic violence against both wives and children. For women who had no independent income, no vote, no say in governance, and who could lose all custody of their children if they left an abusive husband, a primary way to try to keep their children safe from violence was to try to keep their husbands out of taverns.
But sure, the real problem was that these horrible women made four-year-olds feel bad about their unconscious desires to hang out in places full of drunk male adults.
That's just some straight-up misogyny. And considering that misogyny has been one of the things at the root of my depression, a book so steeped in it isn't likely to give me a lot of relief.
The insistence here that depression MUST BE ROOTED IN SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS IN EARLY CHILDHOOD, an idea more recent research undercuts, is also a problem. I had a therapist or two who followed that dogma in ways that probably caused a lot of harm.
A therapist told me the key to my healing was to discover my early childhood trauma. I was like, "Nah, I was a pretty happy little kid; the shit hit the fan around the time my body started changing and boys started getting mean and scary in sixth and seventh grade." She flat-out told me, "You were traumatized as a child, probably through a molestation, and you have to uncover the memory of the trauma."
I actually followed the visualizations she gave me and dutifully went into a meditative state to talk to my seven-year-old self, who told me, when I asked her what was wrong, that she couldn't help me fix the problem I wanted to address because it hadn't happened yet.
When I told my therapist that, she actually got upset at me and insisted I'd just done it wrong. She told me I better uncover a memory of being molested if I wanted to get better. I had very clear memories of my early childhood (something people who have repressed memories typically lack) and I also understand female biology enough to be confident of when certain events happened to me (hint: it was adulthood) and was therefore further confident that I was right about my life and she was wrong. So I fired her.
If someone did that shit now, they'd lose their license. It's completely unethical--and with good reason. While there are certainly people who have recovered memories of being molested in early childhood--one of my good friends experienced that, and it's the only thing that explains certain aspects of his life--there are others who invented memories to please aggressive therapists like the unethical, wrong-headed person I worked with.
In any event, we now know that puberty REALLY FUCKS WITH PEOPLE'S BRAINS. Adolescents are weird. They are super anxious, and there are biological reasons for this. That anxiety can be something they don't grow out of, and there can be biological reasons for that, too. It's not automatically because their parents fucked them up.
So all in all, with its misogyny and its erroneous insistence that adult depression has to be rooted in trauma inflicted by parents on children in early childhood, I think this book does as much harm as good. I'm glad it seems dated and simplistic, since that means psychotherapy is moving on from it.
December 9, 2020
The Drama of the Gifted Child is one of those rare gems that isn鈥檛 afraid to cut deep into the heart of the psyche. Alice Miller, an esteemed therapist, explains that those who grew up with parents or caretakers that disrespected, neglected or abused them have developed a false sense of self. The child becomes molded into what the parents want them to be, rather than accepting the child for who he or she is. This is also true for those of us who were praised for our accomplishments rather than for who we really are.
Miller asserts that in order to reconnect with our true self, which here means our needs and emotions, we must confront and grieve the history of our painful childhood in the safety of the therapy. It is only once we allow ourselves to feel and understand our repressed emotions that we can begin to show up as our authentic self. This also allows us to break free from maladaptive generational cycles of behavior and hold space and unconditional love for our own children.
This is a fantastic and insightful book that unflinchingly peels back all of the layers. The Drama of The Gifted Child tackles a challenging and emotional subject with unparalleled clarity, grace and aplomb. At only 144 pages it manages to be both succinct and accessible. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking to dive deep and get to the root of their problems once and for all.
Miller asserts that in order to reconnect with our true self, which here means our needs and emotions, we must confront and grieve the history of our painful childhood in the safety of the therapy. It is only once we allow ourselves to feel and understand our repressed emotions that we can begin to show up as our authentic self. This also allows us to break free from maladaptive generational cycles of behavior and hold space and unconditional love for our own children.
This is a fantastic and insightful book that unflinchingly peels back all of the layers. The Drama of The Gifted Child tackles a challenging and emotional subject with unparalleled clarity, grace and aplomb. At only 144 pages it manages to be both succinct and accessible. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking to dive deep and get to the root of their problems once and for all.
December 19, 2023
禺蹖賱蹖 禺蹖賱蹖 禺賵亘 賵 乇賵卮賳诏乇. 丕夭 讴鬲丕亘鈥屬囏й屰� 讴賴 夭賳丿诏蹖 丌丿賲鈥屬囏� 乇丕 鬲睾蹖蹖乇 賲蹖鈥屫囏�. 禺賵丕賳丿賳鈥屫ж� 賲孬賱 趩乇丕睾蹖 丕爻鬲 讴賴 賳賵乇 賲蹖鈥屫жㄘз嗀� 亘乇 诏匕卮鬲賴鈥屰� 鬲丕乇蹖讴 賵 倬爻鬲蹖鈥屬堌ㄙ勝嗀屸€屬囏й� 賲爻蹖乇蹖 讴賴 倬蹖卮 丌賲丿賴鈥屫③屬�.
亘丕 丕蹖賳 丨丕賱 賳賯胤賴鈥屰� 囟毓賮 讴鬲丕亘貙 鬲讴鈥屫ㄘ关� 賳诏丕賴 讴乇丿賳 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丕爻鬲. 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 鬲賲丕賲 卮禺氐蹖鬲 蹖讴 賮乇丿 乇丕 鬲賯賱蹖賱 賲蹖鈥屫囏� 亘賴 乇賮鬲丕乇 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 亘丕 讴賵丿讴貙 丨丕賱鈥� 丌賳鈥屭┵� 丕賲乇賵夭 丿蹖诏乇 賲蹖鈥屫з嗃屬� 讴賴 丿賵乇丕賳賽 夭賳丿诏蹖賽 讴賳丕乇賽 賵丕賱丿蹖賳貙 鬲賲丕賲賽 丌蹖賳丿賴 乇丕 賳賲蹖鈥屫池ж藏� 賵 賲丨蹖胤 丕噩鬲賲丕毓蹖 賵 跇賳鬲蹖讴 賵 卮丕蹖丿 趩蹖夭賴丕蹖 丿蹖诏乇 賴賲 賲賵孬乇賳丿 丿乇 卮讴賱鈥屭屫臂� 乇賵丕賳.
亘丕 丕蹖賳鈥屬囐呝囏� 丕丨鬲賲丕賱丕 禺賵丕賳丿賳卮 亘乇丕蹖 亘蹖卮鬲乇 丌丿賲鈥屬囏� 賱丕夭賲 賵 讴賲讴鈥屭┵嗁嗀� 丕爻鬲.
亘丕 丕蹖賳 丨丕賱 賳賯胤賴鈥屰� 囟毓賮 讴鬲丕亘貙 鬲讴鈥屫ㄘ关� 賳诏丕賴 讴乇丿賳 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 丕爻鬲. 賳賵蹖爻賳丿賴 鬲賲丕賲 卮禺氐蹖鬲 蹖讴 賮乇丿 乇丕 鬲賯賱蹖賱 賲蹖鈥屫囏� 亘賴 乇賮鬲丕乇 賵丕賱丿蹖賳 亘丕 讴賵丿讴貙 丨丕賱鈥� 丌賳鈥屭┵� 丕賲乇賵夭 丿蹖诏乇 賲蹖鈥屫з嗃屬� 讴賴 丿賵乇丕賳賽 夭賳丿诏蹖賽 讴賳丕乇賽 賵丕賱丿蹖賳貙 鬲賲丕賲賽 丌蹖賳丿賴 乇丕 賳賲蹖鈥屫池ж藏� 賵 賲丨蹖胤 丕噩鬲賲丕毓蹖 賵 跇賳鬲蹖讴 賵 卮丕蹖丿 趩蹖夭賴丕蹖 丿蹖诏乇 賴賲 賲賵孬乇賳丿 丿乇 卮讴賱鈥屭屫臂� 乇賵丕賳.
亘丕 丕蹖賳鈥屬囐呝囏� 丕丨鬲賲丕賱丕 禺賵丕賳丿賳卮 亘乇丕蹖 亘蹖卮鬲乇 丌丿賲鈥屬囏� 賱丕夭賲 賵 讴賲讴鈥屭┵嗁嗀� 丕爻鬲.
April 1, 2019
丌賱蹖爻 賲蹖賱乇 鬲賵蹖 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 丿乇亘丕乇賴 鬲丕孬蹖乇 亘夭乇诏蹖 讴賴 丿賵乇丕賳 讴賵丿讴蹖 乇賵蹖 丿賵乇丕賳 亘夭乇诏爻丕賱蹖 丿丕乇賴 氐丨亘鬲 賲蹖 讴賳賴賺. 蹖賴 噩丕賴丕蹖蹖卮 鬲讴乇丕乇 夭蹖丕丿 丿丕卮鬲 丕賲丕 丕賵賳賯丿乇 鬲丕孬蹖乇 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵蹖 賲賳 夭蹖丕丿 亘賵丿 讴賴 亘賴卮 丕賲鬲蹖丕夭 5 賲蹖丿賲.
丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 賴乇 讴爻蹖 亘丕蹖丿 丨丿丕賯賱 蹖賴 亘丕乇 亘禺賵賳賴 :)
亘賴 禺氐賵氐 丕诏乇 鬲氐賲蹖賲 丿丕乇蹖賳 賮乇夭賳丿蹖 丿丕卮鬲賴 亘丕卮蹖賳 賯亘賱卮 丨鬲賲丕 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 亘禺賵賳蹖賳
丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 賴乇 讴爻蹖 亘丕蹖丿 丨丿丕賯賱 蹖賴 亘丕乇 亘禺賵賳賴 :)
亘賴 禺氐賵氐 丕诏乇 鬲氐賲蹖賲 丿丕乇蹖賳 賮乇夭賳丿蹖 丿丕卮鬲賴 亘丕卮蹖賳 賯亘賱卮 丨鬲賲丕 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 乇賵 亘禺賵賳蹖賳
March 21, 2023
趩賯丿乇 讴鬲丕亘 丨賯蹖 亘賵丿!
亘賴鈥� 賳馗乇賲 賴賲賴 亘丕蹖丿 蹖賴 丿賵乇 亘禺賵賳賳卮.
鈼� 丌賱蹖爻 賲蹖賱乇 鬲賵蹖 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 亘賴 丕蹖賳 賲蹖鈥屬矩必ж操� 讴賴 乇蹖卮賴鈥屰� 賴賲賴鈥屰� 賳丕賴賳噩丕乇蹖鈥屬囏й� 乇賵丕賳蹖 賵 乇賮鬲丕乇蹖 亘卮乇蹖 鬲賵蹖 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏й屰屬� 讴賴 賮乇丿 鬲賵蹖 讴賵丿讴蹖 禺賵乇丿賴. 讴賵丿讴 鬲賲丕賲 丕丨爻丕爻丕鬲 禺賵丿卮 乇賵 亘毓丿 丕夭 丕蹖賳 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏� 爻乇讴賵亘 讴乇丿賴 賵賱蹖 亘毓丿賳 丕蹖賳 丕丨爻丕爻丕鬲 賵丕倬爻鈥屫藏� 鬲賵蹖 亘丿賳卮 丕賳亘丕卮鬲賴 賲蹖卮賳 賵 禺賵丿卮賵賳 乇賵 亘賴 丕卮讴丕賱 賲禺鬲賱賮蹖 賲孬賱 丕賮爻乇丿诏蹖貙 禺賵丿賳賲丕蹖蹖貙 賵爻賵丕爻鈥屬囏й� 賮讴乇蹖 賵 乇賮鬲丕乇賴丕蹖 丕賳丨乇丕賮蹖 噩賳爻蹖 賵... 賳卮賵賳 賲蹖丿賳.
亘賴鈥� 賳馗乇賲 賴賲賴 亘丕蹖丿 蹖賴 丿賵乇 亘禺賵賳賳卮.
鈼� 丌賱蹖爻 賲蹖賱乇 鬲賵蹖 丕蹖賳 讴鬲丕亘 亘賴 丕蹖賳 賲蹖鈥屬矩必ж操� 讴賴 乇蹖卮賴鈥屰� 賴賲賴鈥屰� 賳丕賴賳噩丕乇蹖鈥屬囏й� 乇賵丕賳蹖 賵 乇賮鬲丕乇蹖 亘卮乇蹖 鬲賵蹖 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏й屰屬� 讴賴 賮乇丿 鬲賵蹖 讴賵丿讴蹖 禺賵乇丿賴. 讴賵丿讴 鬲賲丕賲 丕丨爻丕爻丕鬲 禺賵丿卮 乇賵 亘毓丿 丕夭 丕蹖賳 丌爻蹖亘鈥屬囏� 爻乇讴賵亘 讴乇丿賴 賵賱蹖 亘毓丿賳 丕蹖賳 丕丨爻丕爻丕鬲 賵丕倬爻鈥屫藏� 鬲賵蹖 亘丿賳卮 丕賳亘丕卮鬲賴 賲蹖卮賳 賵 禺賵丿卮賵賳 乇賵 亘賴 丕卮讴丕賱 賲禺鬲賱賮蹖 賲孬賱 丕賮爻乇丿诏蹖貙 禺賵丿賳賲丕蹖蹖貙 賵爻賵丕爻鈥屬囏й� 賮讴乇蹖 賵 乇賮鬲丕乇賴丕蹖 丕賳丨乇丕賮蹖 噩賳爻蹖 賵... 賳卮賵賳 賲蹖丿賳.
January 2, 2017
Be warned: dated, rife with gender essentialism, awkward generalizations, bad science.
Yet, the main argument (how we learn to suppress feeling and expressing emotion because of our parents' parenting) is worth a look. Although I'm guessing there are better and more recent books that incorporate the same line of reasoning.
Yet, the main argument (how we learn to suppress feeling and expressing emotion because of our parents' parenting) is worth a look. Although I'm guessing there are better and more recent books that incorporate the same line of reasoning.
April 12, 2020
"韦慰 蟿喂 魏维谓慰蠀谓 慰喂 蔚谓萎位喂魏蔚蟼 蟽蟿畏谓 蠄蠀蠂萎 蟿蠅谓 蟺伪喂未喂蠋谓 蟿慰蠀蟼 蔚委谓伪喂 魏伪胃伪蟻维 未喂魏萎 蟿慰蠀蟼 蠀蟺蠈胃蔚蟽畏, 纬喂伪蟿委 蟿慰 蟺伪喂未委 胃蔚蠅蟻蔚委蟿伪喂 喂未喂慰魏蟿畏蟽委伪 蟿蠅谓 纬慰谓苇蠅谓 蟿慰蠀 渭蔚 蟿慰谓 委未喂慰 蟿蟻蠈蟺慰 蟺慰蠀 慰喂 蟺慰位委蟿蔚蟼 蔚谓蠈蟼 慰位慰魏位畏蟻蠅蟿喂魏慰蠉 魏伪胃蔚蟽蟿蠋蟿慰蟼 胃蔚蠅蟻慰蠉谓蟿伪喂 喂未喂慰魏蟿畏蟽委伪 蟿畏蟼 魏蠀尾苇蟻谓畏蟽畏蟼. 螠苇蠂蟻喂 谓伪 蔚蠀伪喂蟽胃畏蟿慰蟺慰喂畏胃慰蠉渭蔚 蠈蟽慰谓 伪蠁慰蟻维 蟿慰谓 蟺蠈谓慰 蟿蠅谓 渭喂魏蟻蠋谓 蟺伪喂未喂蠋谓, 伪蠀蟿萎 畏 维蟽魏畏蟽畏 蔚尉慰蠀蟽委伪蟼 伪蟺蠈 蟿慰蠀蟼 蔚谓萎位喂魏蔚蟼 胃伪 胃蔚蠅蟻蔚委蟿伪喂 渭喂伪 蠁蠀蟽喂慰位慰纬喂魏萎 蟺位蔚蠀蟻维 蟿畏蟼 伪谓胃蟻蠋蟺喂谓畏蟼
蟽蠀渭蟺蔚蟻喂蠁慰蟻维蟼, 伪蠁慰蠉 蟽蠂蔚未蠈谓 魏伪谓蔚委蟼 未蔚谓 蟿畏谓 蟺蟻慰蟽苇蠂蔚喂 萎 未蔚谓 蟿畏谓 蟺伪委蟻谓蔚喂 蟽蟿伪 蟽慰尾伪蟻维. 螘蟺蔚喂未萎 蟿伪 胃蠉渭伪蟿伪 蔚委谓伪喂 芦伪蟺位蠋蟼 蟺伪喂未喂维禄, 蠀蟺蔚蟻伪蟺位慰蠀蟽蟿蔚蠉慰蠀渭蔚 蟿慰 维纬蠂慰蟼 魏伪喂 蟿畏 蟽蟿蔚谓慰蠂蠋蟻喂伪 蟿慰蠀蟼."
螠喂伪 蟽蟺伪蟻伪魏蟿喂魏萎 苇魏魏位畏蟽畏 蟺蟻慰蟼 蟿慰蠀蟼 (蟺位苇慰谓) 蔚谓萎位喂魏蔚蟼 蟺慰蠀 魏伪魏慰蟺慰喂萎胃畏魏伪谓, 蔚委蟿蔚 蟽蠅渭伪蟿喂魏维, 蔚委蟿蔚 蠄蠀蠂喂魏维 渭蔚 蟺慰喂魏委位位慰蠀蟼 蟿蟻蠈蟺慰蠀蟼, 渭蔚 伪谓伪纬魏伪蟽蟿喂魏萎 伪谓伪蟽蟿慰位萎 蟿蠅谓 蟽蠀谓伪喂蟽胃畏渭维蟿蠅谓 蟿慰蠀蟼, 纬喂伪 谓伪 胃蟻畏谓萎蟽慰蠀谓 蟿慰谓 蔚伪蠀蟿蠈 蟺慰蠀 未蔚谓 伪纬伪蟺萎胃畏魏蔚 纬喂伪 伪蠀蟿蠈 蟺慰蠀 萎蟿伪谓, 蠅蟼 蟺伪喂未喂维
蟽蠀渭蟺蔚蟻喂蠁慰蟻维蟼, 伪蠁慰蠉 蟽蠂蔚未蠈谓 魏伪谓蔚委蟼 未蔚谓 蟿畏谓 蟺蟻慰蟽苇蠂蔚喂 萎 未蔚谓 蟿畏谓 蟺伪委蟻谓蔚喂 蟽蟿伪 蟽慰尾伪蟻维. 螘蟺蔚喂未萎 蟿伪 胃蠉渭伪蟿伪 蔚委谓伪喂 芦伪蟺位蠋蟼 蟺伪喂未喂维禄, 蠀蟺蔚蟻伪蟺位慰蠀蟽蟿蔚蠉慰蠀渭蔚 蟿慰 维纬蠂慰蟼 魏伪喂 蟿畏 蟽蟿蔚谓慰蠂蠋蟻喂伪 蟿慰蠀蟼."
螠喂伪 蟽蟺伪蟻伪魏蟿喂魏萎 苇魏魏位畏蟽畏 蟺蟻慰蟼 蟿慰蠀蟼 (蟺位苇慰谓) 蔚谓萎位喂魏蔚蟼 蟺慰蠀 魏伪魏慰蟺慰喂萎胃畏魏伪谓, 蔚委蟿蔚 蟽蠅渭伪蟿喂魏维, 蔚委蟿蔚 蠄蠀蠂喂魏维 渭蔚 蟺慰喂魏委位位慰蠀蟼 蟿蟻蠈蟺慰蠀蟼, 渭蔚 伪谓伪纬魏伪蟽蟿喂魏萎 伪谓伪蟽蟿慰位萎 蟿蠅谓 蟽蠀谓伪喂蟽胃畏渭维蟿蠅谓 蟿慰蠀蟼, 纬喂伪 谓伪 胃蟻畏谓萎蟽慰蠀谓 蟿慰谓 蔚伪蠀蟿蠈 蟺慰蠀 未蔚谓 伪纬伪蟺萎胃畏魏蔚 纬喂伪 伪蠀蟿蠈 蟺慰蠀 萎蟿伪谓, 蠅蟼 蟺伪喂未喂维
April 25, 2020
賴乇 丕賳爻丕賳 亘丕賱睾賷 亘賷 卮賰 "丿賵乇丕賳 賰賵丿賰賷" 禺賵丿 乇丕 亘丕 禺丕胤乇丕鬲 賵 丕孬乇丕鬲 賲鬲賳賵毓賷 爻倬乇賷 賰乇丿賴 丕爻鬲. 禺丕胤乇丕鬲 丕賰孬乇 丕賳爻丕賳賴丕 賵 丿乇賰 丌賳賴丕 丕夭 禺賵丿 賲毓賲賵賱丕 丕夭 爻賴 賷丕 趩賴丕乇爻丕賱诏賷 卮乇賵毓 賲賷 卮賵丿貙 乇賵丕賳卮賳丕爻丕賳 賲毓鬲賯丿賳丿 賰賴 乇賵丕賳 丌丿賲賷 丕夭 丿賵乇丕賳 賳賵夭丕丿賷 丕夭 賲丨賷胤 丕胤乇丕賮 賵 乇賮鬲丕乇 丕胤乇丕賮賷丕賳 鬲丕孬賷乇 賲賷 倬匕賷乇丿. 丌賱賷爻 賲賷賱乇 乇賵丕賳賰丕賵 爻賵賷賷爻賷 丿乇 丕賷賳 丕孬乇 亘賴 亘乇乇爻賷 丕孬乇丕鬲 丿賵乇丕賳 賰賵丿賰賷 亘乇 乇賵丕賳 丌丿賲賷 賵 賳賯卮 丌賳 丿乇 卮賰賱 诏賷乇賷 卮禺氐賷鬲 賵 亘丕賵乇賴丕賷 賲乇賰夭賷 丕賳爻丕賳 倬乇丿丕禺鬲賴 丕爻鬲. 丕賳鬲馗丕乇丕鬲賷 丿乇 丿賵乇丕賳 賰賵丿賰賷 亘乇 賴乇 賮乇丿賷 鬲丨賲賷賱 賲賷 卮賵丿 賵 賰賵丿賰 賳丕禺賵丿丌诏丕賴 亘乇丕賷 亘賯丕貙 賲賵乇丿 倬爻賳丿 賵丕賯毓 卮丿賳 賵 丿乇 賳賴丕賷鬲 亘丿爻鬲 丕賵乇丿賳 "毓卮賯 賵丕賱丿賷賳" 丿爻鬲 亘賴 丕賳賰丕乇 禺賵丿 賵丕賯毓賷 夭丿賴 賵 夭賷乇 賳賯丕亘賷 丕夭 禺賵丕爻鬲賴 賴丕賷 賵丕賱丿賷賳 "禺賵丿" 乇丕 倬賳賴丕賳 賲賷 賰賳丿.
丿乇 丕賷賳 丕孬乇 鬲賳賴丕 爻禺賳 丕夭 丕賮乇丕丿賷 賳賷爻鬲 賰賴 丿乇 丿賵乇丕賳 賰賵丿賰賷 鬲丨鬲 卮賰賳噩賴 賴丕賷 噩爻賲賷 賵 乇賵丕賳賷 亘賵丿賴 丕賳丿貙 亘賱賰賴 丨鬲賷 丕賮乇丕丿賷 賰賴 禺丕胤乇賴 賴丕賷 禺賵卮 亘爻賷丕乇賷 丕夭 丿賵乇丕賳 賰賵丿賰賷 禺賵丿 丿丕乇賳丿 趩賴 亘爻丕 丕夭 "禺賵丿 賵丕賯毓賷" 卮丕賳 丿賵乇 丕賮鬲丕丿賴 亘丕卮賳丿 .
丕亘乇丕夭 "禺賵丿 賵丕賯毓賷" 賴乇 丕賳爻丕賳 賵 賳卮丕賳 丿丕丿賳 丌賳 亘賴 噩賴丕賳賷丕賳 丕夭 賳賷丕夭賴丕賷 丕爻丕爻賷 賴乇 丕賳爻丕賳 丕爻鬲 賰賴 賲賷 鬲賵丕賳丿 丿乇 丿賵乇丕賳 乇卮丿 丕賵 賰丕賲賱丕 爻乇賰賵亘 賵 丨鬲賷 丕夭 禺賵丿 丌诏丕賴 賵賷 丨匕賮 卮丿賴 亘丕卮丿.
乇賴丕 卮丿賳 鬲氐賵賷乇 匕賴賳賷 丕賳爻丕賳 丕夭 亘丕賷丿賴丕 賵 丕乇夭卮賴丕賷 賵丕賱丿賷賳卮 賯丿賲 賲賴賲賷 丿乇 賷丕賮鬲賳 賵 亘乇賵夭 "禺賵丿 賵丕賯毓賷" 丕賵爻鬲.
丕賷賳 丕孬乇 亘賴 亘賷卮 丕夭 亘賷爻鬲 夭亘丕賳 鬲乇噩賲賴 卮丿賴 賵 禺賵丕賳賳丿诏丕賳 亘爻賷丕乇賷 亘丕 賲胤丕賱毓賴 丌賳 亘賴 丨賯丕賷賯 亘爻賷丕乇賷 丿乇 賲賵乇丿 禺賵丿 丿爻鬲 賷丕賮鬲賴 賵 乇賵丕賳賰丕賵锟斤拷賳 亘爻賷丕乇賷 丕夭 丕賷賳 賳馗乇賷賴 賵 乇賵卮 亘乇丕賷 丿乇賲丕賳 賲乇丕噩毓賷賳 禺賵丿 丕爻鬲賮丕丿賴 賰乇丿賴 丕賳丿.
倬 賳: 禺賵丕賳丿賳 丕賷賳 丕孬乇 乇丕 亘賴 丿賵爻鬲丕賳賷 賰賴 丿睾丿睾賴 賴丕賷賷 睾賷乇 丕夭 夭賳丿诏賷 亘賷乇賵賳賷 賵 丕鬲賮丕賯丕鬲 乇賵夭賲乇賴 丿丕乇賳丿貙 亘賴 卮丿鬲 鬲賵氐賷賴 賲賷 卮賵丿
November 1, 2018
螘谓未喂伪蠁苇蟻慰谓 魏伪喂 蔚蠀伪谓维纬谓蠅蟽蟿慰, 蟿慰 尾喂尾位委慰 蟿畏蟼 Alice Miller 蔚喂蟽蠂蠅蟻蔚委 蟽蟿伪 渭蠉蠂喂伪 蟿畏蟼 蟺伪喂未喂魏萎蟼 蠄蠀蠂慰蟽蠉谓胃蔚蟽畏蟼 魏伪喂 魏伪蟿伪纬蟻维蠁蔚喂 蟿慰谓 蟿蟻蠈蟺慰 蟺慰蠀 伪蠀蟿萎 蔚蟺畏蟻蔚维味蔚喂 蟿畏 渭蔚蟿苇蟺蔚喂蟿伪 蟺慰蟻蔚委伪 蟺蟻慰蟼 蟿畏谓 蔚谓畏位喂魏委蠅蟽畏. 螝伪蟿维胃位喂蠄畏, 未喂蟺慰位喂魏苇蟼 未喂伪蟿伪蟻蟻伪蠂苇蟼, 喂未苇蔚蟼 渭蔚纬伪位蔚委慰蠀, 蔚蟺喂胃蔚蟿喂魏苇蟼 魏伪喂/萎 伪蠀蟿慰魏伪蟿伪蟽蟿蟻慰蠁喂魏苇蟼 蟽蠀渭蟺蔚蟻喂蠁慰蟻苇蟼, 蠈位伪 未蔚委蠂谓慰蠀谓 谓伪 苇蠂慰蠀谓 蟿喂蟼 尾维蟽蔚喂蟼 蟿慰蠀蟼 蟽蔚 渭喂伪 未蠀蟽位蔚喂蟿慰蠀蟻纬喂魏萎 蟺伪喂未喂魏萎 畏位喂魏委伪. 螠苇蟽伪 伪蟺蠈 蟿畏谓 蟺慰位蠀蔚蟿萎 蟺蔚委蟻伪 蟿畏蟼 蠅蟼 蠄蠀蠂伪谓伪位蠉蟿蟻喂伪, 畏 蟽蠀纬纬蟻伪蠁苇伪蟼 蟺伪蟻伪胃苇蟿蔚喂 伪蟺蟿维 蟺伪蟻伪未蔚委纬渭伪蟿伪 伪蟺蠈 蟿畏谓 魏位喂谓喂魏萎 蟿畏蟼 蔚渭蟺蔚喂蟻委伪 渭蔚 纬位蠅蟽蟽伪 魏伪蟿伪谓慰畏蟿萎 魏伪喂 渭蔚 蟺慰位位苇蟼 蔚蟺蔚尉畏纬畏渭伪蟿喂魏苇蟼 蟺伪蟻伪蟺慰渭蟺苇蟼, 蠂蠅蟻委蟼 谓伪 纬委谓蔚蟿伪喂 慰蠉蟿蔚 蟽蟿喂纬渭萎 蠀蟺蔚蟻尾慰位喂魏维 蟿蔚蠂谓喂魏萎 慰蠉蟿蔚 蠈渭蠅蟼 魏伪喂 伪蟺位慰蠆魏萎, 尾蟻委蟽魏慰谓蟿伪蟼 蔚蟺慰渭苇谓蠅蟼 蟿畏 蠂蟻蠀蟽萎 蟿慰渭萎 渭蔚蟿伪尉蠉 蟿慰蠀 蔚蟺喂蟽蟿畏渭慰谓喂魏慰蠉 蔚纬蠂蔚喂蟻喂未委慰蠀 魏伪喂 蟿畏蟼 位慰纬慰蟿蔚蠂谓喂魏萎蟼 蟺伪蟻慰蠀蟽委伪蟽畏蟼 蟺慰蠀 伪蟺蔚蠀胃蠉谓蔚蟿伪喂 蟿蠈蟽慰 蟽蔚 伪谓蠀蟺慰蠄委伪蟽蟿慰蠀蟼 蠈蟽慰 魏伪喂 蟽蔚 "蠄伪纬渭苇谓慰蠀蟼" 伪谓伪纬谓蠋蟽蟿蔚蟼, 伪蟺位慰蠉蟼 伪谓胃蟻蠋蟺慰蠀蟼 魏伪喂 蔚喂未喂魏慰蠉蟼, 伪蟽胃蔚谓蔚委蟼 魏伪喂 胃蔚蟻伪蟺蔚蠀蟿苇蟼. 螘尉伪喂蟻蔚蟿喂魏萎 未慰蠀位蔚喂维.
螝伪蟿维 蟿畏 未喂维蟻魏蔚喂伪 蟿畏蟼 伪谓维纬谓蠅蟽畏蟼 蠀蟺慰纬蟻维渭渭喂蟽伪 魏喂 苇尾伪位伪 蟽蔚位喂未慰未蔚委魏蟿蔚蟼 蟿慰蠀位维蠂喂蟽蟿慰谓 蟽蟿慰 渭喂蟽蠈 尾喂尾位委慰, 蟺伪蟻伪胃苇蟿蠅 蠈渭蠅蟼 渭蠈谓慰 苇谓伪 渭喂魏蟻蠈 伪蟺蠈蟽蟺伪蟽渭伪 蟺慰蠀 尾蟻萎魏伪 喂未喂伪喂蟿苇蟻蠅蟼 蟽畏渭伪谓蟿喂魏蠈.
"危蟿畏谓 蟺蟻伪纬渭伪蟿喂魏蠈蟿畏蟿伪 慰喂 喂未苇蔚蟼 渭蔚纬伪位蔚委慰蠀 蔚委谓伪喂 畏 维渭蠀谓维 渭伪蟼 蔚谓维谓蟿喂伪 蟽蟿畏谓 魏伪蟿维胃位喂蠄畏 魏伪喂 畏 魏伪蟿维胃位喂蠄畏 蔚委谓伪喂 畏 维渭蠀谓伪 蟽蟿慰 尾伪胃蠉 蟺蠈谓慰 纬喂伪 蟿畏谓 伪蟺蠋位蔚喂伪 蟿慰蠀 蔚伪蠀蟿慰蠉 渭伪蟼 蔚尉伪喂蟿委伪蟼 蟿畏蟼 维蟻谓畏蟽畏蟼 蟿畏蟼 蟺蟻伪纬渭伪蟿喂魏蠈蟿畏蟿伪蟼."
螝伪蟿维 蟿畏 未喂维蟻魏蔚喂伪 蟿畏蟼 伪谓维纬谓蠅蟽畏蟼 蠀蟺慰纬蟻维渭渭喂蟽伪 魏喂 苇尾伪位伪 蟽蔚位喂未慰未蔚委魏蟿蔚蟼 蟿慰蠀位维蠂喂蟽蟿慰谓 蟽蟿慰 渭喂蟽蠈 尾喂尾位委慰, 蟺伪蟻伪胃苇蟿蠅 蠈渭蠅蟼 渭蠈谓慰 苇谓伪 渭喂魏蟻蠈 伪蟺蠈蟽蟺伪蟽渭伪 蟺慰蠀 尾蟻萎魏伪 喂未喂伪喂蟿苇蟻蠅蟼 蟽畏渭伪谓蟿喂魏蠈.
"危蟿畏谓 蟺蟻伪纬渭伪蟿喂魏蠈蟿畏蟿伪 慰喂 喂未苇蔚蟼 渭蔚纬伪位蔚委慰蠀 蔚委谓伪喂 畏 维渭蠀谓维 渭伪蟼 蔚谓维谓蟿喂伪 蟽蟿畏谓 魏伪蟿维胃位喂蠄畏 魏伪喂 畏 魏伪蟿维胃位喂蠄畏 蔚委谓伪喂 畏 维渭蠀谓伪 蟽蟿慰 尾伪胃蠉 蟺蠈谓慰 纬喂伪 蟿畏谓 伪蟺蠋位蔚喂伪 蟿慰蠀 蔚伪蠀蟿慰蠉 渭伪蟼 蔚尉伪喂蟿委伪蟼 蟿畏蟼 维蟻谓畏蟽畏蟼 蟿畏蟼 蟺蟻伪纬渭伪蟿喂魏蠈蟿畏蟿伪蟼."
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